Original subtitles

[ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ DRILLING, SAWING ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!

>> SORRY ABOUT AIDS.

THAT WAS ME.

>> OOH HOO!

MANTENNA AND GRIZZLOR ARE ATTACKING THE WHISPERING WOODS!

WE NEED SHE-RA -- >> Shh!

KOWL, THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME.

>> NOT A GOOD TIME?!

BUT THEY'RE SLAUGHTERING THE TWIGGETS!

>> THE TWIGGETS WILL HAVE TO WAIT!

ADORA HAS A VISITOR.

>> A VISITOR?

WHAT KIND OF VISITOR?

>> HER "AUNT FLOW" IS IN TOWN?

>> ADORA DOESN'T HAVE AN AUNT FLOW.

>> MADAME RAZZ, WHERE IS ADORA?!

SHADOW WEAVER AND LEECH ARE ATTACKING THE CRYSTAL CASTLE!

>> SORRY, SPIRIT.

SHE CAN'T HELP YOU RIGHT NOW.

>> BUT WE NEED SHE-RA!

>> ADORA'S RIDING THE "COTTON PONY," IF YOU GET MY MEANING.

>> SHE GOT ANOTHER HORSE?

>> NO, SPIRIT, IT'S NOT A REAL --

>> I TURN INTO SWIFT WIND!

CAN THIS COTTON PONY DO THAT?

>> MADAME RAZZ, CATRA, SCORPIA, AND ENTRAPTA ARE ATTACKING

CASTLE BRIGHT MOON.

>> SHE-RA IS UNAVAILABLE, BOW.

>> UNAVAILABLE?

>> YES!

ADORA IS..."FLOATING ON THE CRIMSON TIDE" RIGHT NOW.

>> WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH A PARTICULAR TYPE OF

ALGAL BLOOM COMMON TO THE EASTERN GULF OF MEXICO?

>> NEVER MIND!

NEITHER ADORA NOR SHE-RA CAN HELP ANY OF YOU RIGHT NOW.

COME BACK IN, SAY, FIVE DAYS.

MAYBE FOUR, IF IT'S A LIGHT MONTH.

>> BUT WE NEED SHE-RA!

>> THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!

>> SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

SHU-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-T UP!

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET SOME PEACE AND QUIET AROUND HERE?!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] YOU WANT SHE-RA?

IS THAT IT, HUH?!

HERE SHE COMES!

FOR THE HONOR OF GRAYSKULL, I AM SHE-RA!

NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY!

[ CRASHING ] >> OH, DEARY, ME, THIS ISN'T

GOOD.

>> [ GRUNTS ] WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE

ONE -- >> COME HERE!

>> NO, WAIT!

UNH!

>> YA-A-A-A-H!

HYAH!

>> OW!

OHH!

>> AAH!

>> WHY, YOU -- HEY! OW!

OW!

OW!

>> GET OVER HERE!

>> HEY, MY EY-- >> OH!

>> OH, NO, YOU DON'T!

HYAH!

>> AAH! AAH!

>> THERE!

NOW CAN I GET SOME [BLEEP] SLEEP?!

>> AAH! KILL ME!

PLEASE KILL ME!

>> SHUT UP!

>> HI, THANKS.

IT'S A SWEATER.

[ MOTOR WHIRRING ] UH...

>> WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

WE DON'T STAND A CHANCE OF GETTING LAID WITHOUT A CAR!

>> EVERYBODY'S GOT A SEX MACHINE BUT US.

>> GUYS, GUYS, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

WE'RE SURROUNDED BY POSSIBILITIES.

THESE PARTS COULD BE SEX-O-MATIC...

[ INSTRUMENTAL BEAT ] ...VIBROMATIC...

[ INSTRUMENTAL BEAT ] ...VULVA-MATIC.

[ INSTRUMENTAL BEAT ] WHY, IT COULD BE HUMP LIGHTNING!

♪ WE'LL GET SOME LUBRICATION AND SLIDE IT UP AND DOWN THESE

RODS ♪ >> ♪ CIRCLE JERKIN' ♪

♪ I GOT MY WIENER WORKIN' ♪ >> ♪ FILL IT WITH LIBIDO AND

SHOW IT TO THE HORMONE GODS ♪ >> ♪ I'M SO EXCITED ♪

♪ MY ROCKET'S JUST IGNITED ♪ >> ♪ AND THEN WE'LL SHOW IT ALL

OUR MOVES, AND WE'LL SIC IT ON SOME BOOBS ♪

♪ AND WE'LL SURELY BE HIT WHEN WE'RE BRINGING BACK SOME TITS ♪

♪ HUMP LIGHTNING ♪ >> ♪ HUMPIN', HUMPIN', HUMPIN' ♪

♪ HUMPIN', HUMPIN', HUMPIN' ♪ ♪ HUMPIN' ♪

♪ YEAH ♪ >> CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S SO COOL.

NOW GO FIND US SOMETHING TO HUMP.

>> WEREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO MAKE A CAR?

[ BELL DINGS ] [ METAL THUMPING ]

[ JUKEBOX PLAYS ] >> YO, MAN!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN?

YOU CAN'T HUMP A JUKEBOX.

IT'S SO CRAZY!

PEOPLE ARE LOOKING.

YOU'RE GETTING A BAD REP.

[ BELL DINGS ] >> ♪ I'M FINE ♪

♪ ME TOO ♪ ♪ WE'RE GAY ♪

♪ HOW ABOUT YOU? ♪ ♪ I'M FINE ♪

♪ ME TOO ♪ ♪ TELL ON US,

AND WE'LL TELL ON YOU ♪ >> HI, SHERLOCK!

>> HIYA, GIRLS!

>> ♪ THE STORY BOX ♪ >> IT SEEMS LIKE THE STORY BOX

WANTS TO TELL US A STORY.

>> LET'S TAKE A LOOK INSIDE.

[ BOTH GASP ] >> OOH!

NEATO!

>> WOW!

>> HEY, HEY!

WHAT YOU WANT TO BE IS A SI-I-I-I-I-N!

A SI-I-I-I-I-N!

[ BOTH SCREAM ] >> JUST SHUT YOUR EYES,

SHERLOCK!

WHATEVER HAPPENS, KEEP THEM SHUT!

>> AAH! AAH!

AA-A-A-A-H!

>> AA-A-A-A-H!

>> WOW.

I HATE BIBLICAL STORIES.

>> SO, WHAT ARE WE DOING?

>> SURPRISE ME.

>> HMM.

[ HAMMERING ] >> PERFECT.

>> HEY, KIDS!

FEELING RUN DOWN FROM ALL THE CHEMO, SPINAL TAPS, AND GENERAL

MALPRACTICE-WORTHY DOCTORING?

SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED SOME CRITICAL LOVE -- STAT!

SAY HELLO TO THE INTENSIVE CARE BEARS.

TRY SKIN-GRAFT BEAR!

HE'S AN INSPIRATIONAL PATCHWORK OF LOVE.

>> HE SMELLS LIKE MORPHINE SULFATE!

>> FEELING RUN DOWN?

GIVE A WHEEZE FOR SEVERE COMBINED IMMUNE DEFICIENCY

SYNDROME BEAR, OR "SCIDS" FOR SHORT!

>> WE BOTH WANT TO WALK ON GRASS!

>> AND LET'S NOT FORGET LOW T-CELL BEAR.

>> BEING BORN WITH AIDS WON'T SLOW HIM DOWN!

>> THE INTENSIVE CARE BEARS -- THEY'RE A CURE FOR YOUR HEART!

>> INTENSIVE CARE BEARS ONLY CURE YOUR HEART METAPHORICALLY.

SOME BEARS MAY CAUSE RASH, INFECTION, LOSS OF VISION,

AND/OR LOOSE STOOLS.

>> I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY.

[ DOO-WOP MUSIC PLAYS ] >> ♪ DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP ♪

♪ DOO-WOP DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP DOO-WOP ♪

♪ DOO-WOP ♪ [ METAL THUMPING ]

[ BALL CRACKS ON BAT ] >> I'M GONNA GET IT! I GOT IT!

OH, MY -- OH, MY GOD!

>> STAR WARS, SPONGEBOB, BATMAN, HARRY POTTER -- THE WORLD OF

LEGO HAS ALL YOUR FAVORITES!

NOW GET READY FOR THE OSCAR-WINNING "BABEL."

>> AWESOME!

>> I AM A MOROCCAN BOY!

I AM GOING TO SHOOT THAT BUS!

BLAM BLAM!

>> TOUR BUS PLAYSET UNFOLDS TO REVEAL ALL YOUR FAVORITE

CHARACTERS, LIKE BRAD PITT!

>> HELP! MY WIFE!

I NEED A DOCTOR!

>> TURN THIS BUS AROUND!

THIS COUNTRY'S FULL OF MUSLIMS, AND I'M SCARED LIKE A LITTLE

GIRL!

>> THRILL TO ACTION AND EXCITEMENT AT THE U.S./MEXICAN

BORDER!

>> AY, CARAMBA!

>> EVEN COMES WITH A RINKO KIKUCHI FIGURE.

>> I FEEL FUNNY.

>> "BABEL" PLAYSET COMES WITH EVERYTHING SHOWN HERE.

PRETENTIOUSNESS SOLD SEPARATELY.

FROM LEGO!

>> AWW!

>> COOCHIE-COOCHIE-COO!

LOOK AT THE BABY!

>> WHAT A CUTE LITTLE BABY!

>> AWW!

LOOK AT THE LITTLE!

AWW!

>> WHO'S A BABY?

[ THUNDER CRASHING ] >> PAPA SMURF!

PAPA SMURF!

IT IS SMURFING LIKE A MOTHER SMURFER!

WHAT IF THE DAM BREAKS?!

>> THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I'M PAPA SMURF AND YOU'RE JUST,

UH...UH...

WHICH SMURF ARE YOU?

>> I'M ARMY CORPS OF ENGINEERS SMURF.

>> THAT DAM WAS SMURFED BY THE FINEST CONSTRUCTION CREW THE

FOREST HAS TO OFFER.

[ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ WOOD CREAKING ]

>> I DIDN'T EVACUATE WHEN THEM CHIPMUNKS WENT RABID, AND THAT

WAS BAD!

SURE AS HELL AIN'T EVACUATIN' FOR A LITTLE RAIN --

AAH!

[ THUNDER CRASHING ] >> DESTRUCTION, DEVASTATION, A

COMMUNITY IN RUINS.

HOW DID IT COME TO THIS?

WHY DID THE DAM FAIL?

>> I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE SEARCHING FOR THE SMURF

VILLAGE!

HOW DID ANDERSON [BLEEP] COOPER FIND IT IN LESS THAN A DAY?!

>> MEOW.

>> AND WHERE IS THE KING DURING THE GREATEST CRISIS THE FOREST

HAS EVER KNOWN?

>> PAPA SMURF SAYS THE KING DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BLUE PEOPLE,

AND PAPA SMURF IS ALWAYS RIGHT BECAUSE PAPA SMURF --

PAPA SMURF!

>> WHAT IS IT, BRAINY?

>> USUALLY THE OTHER SMURFS KICK ME OUT OF THE VILLAGE WHEN I

START TALKING TOO MUCH, BUT...

[ SHUDDERED BREATHING ] THERE ARE NO SMURFS LEFT!

>> HA HA HA!

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

[ LAUGHING ] [ HUMMING ]

[ CHUCKLING ] [ MOTOR WHIRRING ]

[ HUMMING ] AHH. [ SNIFFS ]

TRIUMPH AT LAST!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ] [ MUNCHING ]

AHH!

[ SLURPS ] HELLO.

IT'S GARGAMEL.

YES, THE USUAL.

WITH FRIED RICE, PLEASE.

FOR ONE.

[ SIGHS ] >> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK

BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK

BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK

BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-GAWK! BAWK.

>> UGH!

I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS.

THE EPISODE WE WROTE WAS A MINUTE TOO SHORT.

QUICK, GUYS!

BRING OUT THE WHEEL OF IDEAS!

[ PEGS CLACKING ] FARTING RETARDS GETTING KICKED

IN THE BALLS IT IS.

[ "BENNY HILL"-LIKE MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> ♪ LA LA-LA LA-LA LA-LA ♪ OW! HEY!

[ FARTING ] OHH!

I'LL GET YOU!

OW! QUIT HITTING ME IN THE FACE!

HYAH!

OHH!

>> YOU CAN'T KICK ME, BUT I'LL FART ON YOUR FACE!

YES, INTELLIGENT HUMOR!

THE GREATEST!

>> HEY!