Original subtitles

[ THUNDER CRASHING ] [ DRILLING, SAWING ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] >> IT'S ALIVE!

>> HEY, I'M "ROBOT CHICKEN" EXECUTIVE PRODUCER SETH GREEN.

I'M HERE TO INTRODUCE THE WINNER OF LAST YEAR'S PS3 CONTEST,

JAMES DUFFY.

[ APPLAUSE ] TAKE A BOW, JAMES.

>> AAH!

>> YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT?

YOU [BLEEP] LIKE THAT?!

YOU'RE A WINNER!

YOU'RE SO LUCKY!

SUCH A LUCKY WINNER!

SO LUCKY!

Shh. It's okay.

It's almost over.

It's almost over.

So lucky.

>> [ CHOKING ] >> HERE'S YOUR PS3!

KEEP WATCHING [adult swim] FOR OUR NEXT BIG CONTEST.

[ BEEPING ] >> WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS GOING ON

HERE?

>> [ SINGING THE THEME FROM "MR. ROGERS" IN JAPANESE ]

[ SPEAKING JAPANESE ] [ TROLLEY WHISTLE BLOWS ]

OOH!

>> [ ROARING ] >> MEOW! MEOW!

[ SHOUTING IN JAPANESE ] >> [ SPEAKING JAPANESE ]

[ BOTH LAUGHING ] >> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

CHECK THIS.

[ BOTH LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY ] >> OH, MY GOD!

[ BUZZING ] >> AH, DARN!

>> HE'S -- HE'S DEAD!

>> WANT TO PLAY AGAIN?

>> YOU KILLED HIM!

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, BECKY?

>> YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP HIM.

BUT HE'S DEAD!

HELLO.

YES, I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT A MURDER.

>> BECKY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, BECKY.

YOU WERE THERE!

>> THE POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAY, MIKEY.

I PROMISE I WILL DO EVERYTHING I CAN FOR YOU.

>> NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING, MAN!

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

COME ON! NO!

FIGHT! FIGHT!

COME ON!

>> IT'S OVER, MIKEY.

>> GET OFF ME!

NO! NO, NO, NO!

I CAN'T GO TO PRISON!

I WOULDN'T LAST A DAY!

[ GUN COCKS ] I'M SORRY, BECKY.

>> MIKEY, NO!

[ GUNSHOT ] DAMN YOU, MILTON BRADLEY!

[ SOBBING ] >> FOUL BEASTS, I, SPAWN, THE

SUPERHERO FROM HELL, WILL DEFEAT YOU!

>> [ ROARING ] NEVER!

THE WORLD OF MAN WILL BE CRUSHED UNDER THE MARCH OF MY HELLISH

ARMY!

>> AAH!

LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN!

[ THE CHARLIE DANIELS BAND'S "THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA"

PLAYS ] >> All: ♪ BIG IN THE '90s,

SPAWN, SPAWN, SPAWN ♪ ♪ CREATED BY A GUY NAMED

McFARLANE ♪ ♪ HAD HIS OWN SHOW ON HBO ♪

♪ DID THE PLOT MAKE SENSE? ♪ ♪ NO, NO, NO ♪

>> [ ROARING ] [ OFF-KEY NOTES PLAY ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> MALEBOGLIA WINS!

>> YEAH, MALEBOGLIA TOTALLY WINS!

>> WHAT?!

OHH, WHEN DO WE GET A BATHROOM BREAK?

>> WHOO-HOO-HOO!

[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ] [ CROWD CHEERING ]

CHECK ME OUT!

[ RECORD SCRATCHES ] [ CHEERING STOPS ]

CHECK ME OUT!

YEAH!

>> AAH, YOU'RE IN PUBLIC!

HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT, FOR GOD'S SAKE!

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

>> [ GROANS ] YOU ATE THAT CHICK THREE WEEKS AGO.

HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA KEEP DRESSING LIKE THAT?

>> AS LONG AS IT MAKES ME HAPPY!

>> THIS FALL, A HOT NEW COMEDY FROM NBS...

>> WE'RE GONNA KILL YOU, CHRIST!

>> [ LAUGHS ] OH, YOU.

>> FUN AND FOIBLES TAKEN FROM THE REAL-LIFE EXPERIENCES OF

SERIES CREATOR JESUS CHRIST.

>> I HOPE THIS HURTS YOU, SCUM!

>> [ LAUGHS ] >> SUNDAYS AT 9:00 A.M.

>> ARTHUR FONZARELLI WAS DOING HIS BEST, BUT HIS BEST WASN'T

ENOUGH.

>> I NEED THE RENT MONEY, FONZ, OR I NEED YOU OUT IN THE

MORNING.

>> WHOA!

BROKERINO!

I NEED YOU TO TRUST ME.

>> I TRUST YOU.

ARE YOU GONNA RAPE ME?

>> WHOA!

SIT ON IT!

>> ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ME SIT ON IT?

>> DO YOU HAVE ANY WORK EXPERIENCE?

>> NO, BUT I CAN DO THIS.

[ SNAPS FINGERS ] >> UH...ARE YOU A PIMP?

>> SO, YOU CAN REPAIR JUKEBOXES?

>> WELL, NO.

SEE, IF IT'S TURNED OFF BUT PLUGGED IN, THEN I CAN TURN IT

ON BY HITTING IT WITH MY FIST.

>> WHY DON'T YOU JUST TURN IT ON WITH THE SWITCH?

>> WHOA!

>> DID MOM LEAVE BECAUSE OF ME?

>> LOOK, CHACH, I DON'T EVEN REALLY KNOW WHO YOUR MOM IS.

BUT BY LEAVING YOU, SHE WAS WR-WR-WR...

[ COUGHS ] SHE WAS WR-WR-WR-WR--

SHE WAS WR-WR-WR-- SHE WAS A BITCH!

>> BUT AGAINST ALL ODDS...

>> I GOT CUSTOMERS WHO NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM!

>> AL, THIS IS MY OFFICE.

>> WELL, SOME PEOPLE NEED TO TAKE A [BLEEP] IN YOUR DESK, SO

OPEN THE DOOR.

>> DON'T YOU EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN'T DO

SOMETHING, OKAY?

>> ...HE ROSE ABOVE IT ALL.

>> YOU WANT SOMETHING, YOU DO IT.

PERIOD!

>> ARTHUR FONZARELLI IN...

"THE PURSUIT OF HAPPY DAYS."

>> AND COMING AT YOU NOW IS "GET 'EM, THEY'RE DIFFERENT" BY

THE NAZIS!

>> ♪ I WILL ASS-RAPE YOU WITH A PITCHFORK ♪

>> DUDE, WORKING FOR THE MANDARIN SURE IS SWEET!

>> WELL, I TELL CHICKS I WORK FOR DR. DOOM.

HOW ARE THEY GONNA KNOW?

[ FOOTSTEPS CLANGING ] OH, GREAT, HERE COMES IRON MAN!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

SHOULD WE SOUND THE ALARM HERE?

>> AH, HE'S STILL A WAYS OFF.

[ CLANGING CONTINUES ] OH, MAN, DID YOU SEE THE GAME

LAST NIGHT?

>> OH, YEAH [BLEEP] KNICKS!

[ FOOTSTEPS CLANGING LOUDER ] >> I TELL YOU, THIS HEADQUARTERS

WAS A GREAT BUY.

>> YEAH, ALL WE HAD TO DO WAS PULL UP THE BERBER CARPETING,

AND WE CAN HEAR IRON MAN COMING A MILE AWAY!

[ FOOTSTEPS STOP ] [ METAL CRUNCHING AND SCRAPING ]

WHOA!

>> WHAT THE HELL?!

>> OH, HE'S IN THE AIR DUCT!

>> THAT'S A NEW ONE!

>> SHOULD WE TELL THE MANDARIN?!

>> WHAT?!

>> I SAID, SHOULD WE TELL THE MANDARIN?!

>> WHO'S DARREN?!

>> Both: AAH!

>> OH, MY GOD!

>> YOU'RE ON TOP OF MY SPINE!

GET OFF OF ME!

>> GOD, PLEASE, GET OFF!

>> I CAN'T!

I CAN'T GET UP!

>> YOU'RE CRUSHING US!

>> HANG ON, I'LL USE MY ROCKET BOOTS.

>> Both: NO!

AAH!

>> OH.

HEY.

[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT'S UP?

>> YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOUR HOUR!

YOU GO NOW!

>> NOW BACK TO VH1's TOP 100 FINAL EPISODES EVER,

THE LATEST IN OUR LINE OF "TOP 100 SOMETHING-SOMETHING

WHATEVER" CRAP PROGRAMMING.

"THE FACTS OF LIFE" WEREN'T ALL ABOUT NATALIE'S STRETCH MARKS OR

JOE'S EXTRANEOUS SEX ORGAN.

SOME FACTS WERE HARSH INDEED.

>> OH, GIRLS, DON'T LOOK SO DOWN.

THIS CHAPTER IS OVER, BUT A NEW CHAPTER IS RIGHT AROUND THE

CORNER.

>> WILL IT BE A CHAPTER FILLED WITH RAW COOKIE DOUGH?

[ LAUGHTER ] >> TO NEW BEGINNINGS!

[ GULPING ] >> I-I FEEL GROSS.

>> WHY, DID YOU LOOK IN A MIRROR?

>> I FEEL DIZZY.

[ COUGHING AND CHOKING ] >> YES, MY LOVELIES, NOTHING

WILL TEAR US APART.

YES, WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER.

[ LAUGHTER ] AAH!

[ CHOKING ] [ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]

>> REMEMBER EDDIE MURPHY'S FOX SHOW, "THE PJs"?

ME NEITHER!

[ SIREN WAILING ] >> WHAT ON EARTHA KITT?

WHITNEY HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

IF THEY ASK, YOU'S MY SISTER.

>> YOU MEAN, "BROTHER."

>> WHAT? YOU AIN'T GOT NO URKEL.

[ BOING! ] DOH!

VIVICA A. [BLEEP] >> WHEN "MORK AND MINDY" ENDED

AFTER FOUR SEASONS, THE SHAZBOT REALLY HIT THE FAN.

>> YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, MISS McCONNELL.

>> OH, NA-NU NA-NU.

>> OH, THEY'RE CUTTING INTO ME.

THAT'S NOT A -- OH, I'M GONNA NEED THOSE!

DON'T TAKE THOSE!

HEY, HEY, YOU'RE TAKIN' -- AR, AR, AR, DOWN, MR. HAPPY.

OH!

[ FLATLINE ] [ LAUGHTER ]

>> "THE INCREDIBLE HULK" WAS A RATINGS BEHEMOTH, BUT EVENTUALLY

DAVID BANNER WALKED OFF INTO THE SUNSET FOR THE FINAL TIME.

ON A RELATED NOTE, BILL BIXBY WALKED OFF INTO THE SUNSET FOR

THE FINAL TIME ON NOVEMBER 21, 1993.

HIS BAT WAS CANCER.

FOR 10 SEASONS, "THE LOVE BOAT" STANK.

IN THE FINAL EPISODE, "THE LOVE BOAT" SANK.

>> WILL YOU GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP, CAPTAIN?

>> THAT WATER LOOKS COLD, GOPHER -- FAR, FAR TOO COLD.

SEE YOU IN HELL [BLEEP] [ LAUGHTER ]

>> HELP ME!

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP ME!

AAH!

>> OH, THIS IS LOOKING BAD.

AAH!

>> OH, NO!

>> COMING UP ON VH1's "TOP 100 FINAL EPISODES EVER"...

>> IT WASN'T A CHICKEN!

IT WAS A BABY!

[ LAUGHTER ] >> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK

BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK

BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪

♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK

BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-GAWK! BAWK.

BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-GAWK! BAWK.