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Robot chicken 38 Lust for puppets

Robot chicken 38 Lust for puppets

[thunder] >> hee hee hee!

[whirring] >> it's alive!

[whirring] >> it's alive!

[captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group]

>> come on, team, You really rock!

Check it out, I have a-- >> aah!

>> my revenge shall be eternal!

Argh!

>> ha ha ha!

Montezuma, there shall be no Revenge.

>> revenge.

>> [farts] >> ha ha ha!

>> happy birthday, calvin.

>> wow!

A real tiger.

I can't believe you got me A real live tiger.

>> ok.

>> native americans would be More plentiful if they hadn't

Traded their land for casinos.

>> well, cowboys never even Existed.

They're just a masculine image Campaign purported by marlboro.

>> I think something's wrong With our son.

>> this is so [bleep].

>> yeah.

>> who are you talking to?

>> to hobbes, my pet tiger.

Can't you see him?

>> hmm.

That's just a stuffed animal.

>> no, it's not.

He's real.

Get him, hobbes.

>> [growl] >> [screaming]

>> blood is everywhere.

The vicious tiger Shows no mercy.

>> I see.

[electrical crackling] >> aah!

>> this is for the best.

Give him these pills Every two hours.

>> hobbes?

Hobbes?

Ahh...

>> psst, calvin.

>> hobbes!

>> calvin, your parents Don't believe.

We have to kill them.

[chainsaw running] >> son, did you do this?

>> me?

No.

My tiger did.

He's a bloodthirsty monster.

>> ok, you're coming with us.

>> fasten your seatbelt, hobbes.

We're going to mars.

Wow!

Mars is amazing.

Mars is amazing.

Mars is amazing.

>> ♪ look around No one's ever gonna

Knock you down ♪ [music stops]

>> so this is your two weeks, Then?

I see.

["Pop goes the weasel" playing] [music stops]

[click] >> huh.

Ha ha!

[telephone rings] Hello.

Grandma!

Oh, I'm sorry!

No.

I must have misdialed!

[horns honking] >> revenge!

[fart] Yes, yes.

Ha ha!

>> cameron!

>> dammit!

Not a moment of peace.

>> you would be justified in Passing me the bread.

>> it's old, honey.

I just wish that they-- >> babe?

>> I'm afraid it's very serious.

In your career, have you ever Had contact with a brand of

Movie makeup called prolactin?

>> I don't know.

What is it?

>> it's used to make fake semen.

>> oh, crap!

>> well, at any rate, your body Is now 99% cancer.

You have less than a day To live.

[click] >> d-d-don't worry, baby.

I'll find love again.

>> thanks.

>> baby, is there anything Special you want to do before

You, you know, kick it?

>> as a matter of fact, There is.

>> oh, that's all right.

Ok.

I thought maybe we'd cuddle.

[doorbell rings] >> yes?

>> that's for making lucy liu Cry on the set of charlie's

Angels, bill murray.

[doorbell rings] >> yes?

>> for giving me cancer with Your fake semen, ben stiller!

>> I was just an actor.

That stuff gave me cancer, too!

>> well-- That's for having cancer!

[doorbell rings] >> yes?

>> where's john rutter?

I'm gonna hit him in the nuts For blackmailing me over those

Topless photos!

>> you'll have to go visit him In prison!

>> oh, yeah.

I won that case.

Ha ha!

When does he get out?

>> 4 years from now!

[sobbing] >> you win this rounds,

John rutter's nuts.

Come on, plenty of cameron For everybody!

That's right, people.

Closer.

You're gonna want a really good Photo of this.

Burn in hell, You [bleep] Clowns!

[ka-boom] Didn't the dead paparazzi get a

Memorial, too?

>> yeah.

It's right over there.

>> argh!

Ahh...

>> ok, mrs. Milano, Just one more big push.

[baby crying] [babies crying]

[growling] >> dinner's ready, boys.

Chili time.

Straight from new york city.

>> new york city?

[gunshots] Actually, it's pretty good.

>> are you guys excited to meet My fiance frank?

>> I can't wait, sweetie.

>> I'm not ready to see my baby Get married.

[doorbell rings] >> frankie!

>> [roaring] >> lord, it's a monster!

[gunshot] >> dad, don't shoot!

That's my fiance.

>> oh, sorry about that.

Nice to meet you, frank.

>> [roar] >> so, frank, what's your line

Of work?

>> [roaring] >> what the hell does

That mean?

>> honey, be nice.

>> honey, watch out!

[gunshot] >> argh!

>> dad, he was just trying to go To the bathroom.

>> right.

Sorry, frank.

Toss the ball around?

[buzzing] >> [screaming]

>> he's going crazy!

[gunshot] >> dad, a beehive fell

In his pants.

He's already in pain.

>> oh, man, s-sorry again there, Frank.

That's, uh, that's my bad.

>> rarh.

>> you know, I am really taking A liking to this frankie guy.

>> [grunting] >> what the hell is that?

>> [grunting] >> you monster!

What are you doing To my daughter?

[gunshot] >> dad, we were having sex!

>> oh, man, so sorry about that.

Terrible misunderstanding.

I--I feel awful.

Apologies all around.

Carry on.

>> oh, honey, I'm so proud of You finally coming to terms with

Our daughter marrying Frankenstein.

>> frankenstein?

He's jewish?

[gunshots] >> ride my ass.

Quite the bargain.

Good time for the-- Hey, get the kids!

Get the kids.

It's a family affair.

Sir, sir, do right by your kids.

>> woohoo!

[disco music playing] >> revenge!

[fart] >> woohoo!

Woohoo!

Woohoo!

>> so what have you guys Been up to?

>> got a new bell yesterday.

>> ooh, a new bell.

>> loving it.

Really cool jingle.

>> aah!

>> oh, whoa!

>> oh, no, mario, the bridge, She's a-closed.

Which way should we go?

[tire blows out] Oh, look at that.

We got a flat tire.

>> look, a repair garage.

I'll pull in there.

Ah, mama mia!

Luigi, we got a pimped out ride.

>> we need a-some coins, mario.

We have no money.

>> leave a-to me!

>> mario!

Are you ok?

>> oh, look, it's a turtle.

>> what are you doing?

You just killed my turtle.

>> oh, my god!

I'm-a so sorry!

>> hey, what's going on here?

>> luigi, let's get out of here!

Look, luigi, it's the princess.

Princess, you must a-come With us.

>> I'll suck your [bleep] For 50 bucks.

>> princess!

>> do you accept coins?

>> come on, a princess, We got the gold.

>> uh-uh, naw, That's my princess.

[gunshots] >> I'm a-hit.

What is this?

>> that's blood, baby.

>> oh, mario, we need to find You some mushrooms

So you can heal.

>> I know just the guy.

>> this is some really good [bleep], man.

>> ha ha!

Hoo hoo!

Wow!

I feel really good!

Look at the pretty colors!

[siren] >> cheese it!

It's the fuzz!

>> ha ha!

I feel so funny.

Look, there's coins everywhere.

I'm-a rich!

>> mario, no!

>> ha ha ha!

>> you go, mario, go!

>> hoo hoo!

>> I think I should-a drive!

[siren] >> police!

Put your hands in the air!

He's got a wrench!

Take him down!

>> no!

[gunshots] >> ah, mama mia!

He's a-marinating In his own ragu!

You killed my brother!

You sons of a bitches!

You'll never take me alive, you Mother--

Oh hoo!

Oh hoo!

>> mmm...

Raccoon city sounds lovely.

[horns honking] What?

What?

[screaming] [chickens clucking]

[captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group]

[captioned by the national Captioning institute

--www.Ncicap.Org--]