Original subtitles

It's alive!

[ howls ]

Shut up, down there.

I'm trying to sleep!

Ooh, la-la.

Look at me, I'm a lady.

[ laughing ]

[ sigh ]

My clothes are soft, But they're not huggably soft.

Leave it to me. Aah!

Being huggably soft Is my business

And business is good.

They are soft.

And so are you, cuddles.

Very, very soft.

Uh, um,

Where are we going?

I need Your softness.

[ both grunting ]

This is a no-no.

A big no-no.

Don't fight it.

[ moaning ]

You might wanna Clean yourself up.

Good as new!

Yeah, Good as new.

My, you're just So huggably soft.

No, no, not really That soft.

Stop!

This isn't right!

Cuddles brand fabric softeneer,

When your clothes have to be Huggable, rapably fresh.

I don't want Your sandwich.

Did you finish That marketing proposal? Nope.

I told you To give it to me today.

I could have sworn You said thursday.

No, I said wednesday.

I don't think so. Thursday.

Wednesday, douche bag. Thursday, ass face!

Wednesday, You [ expletive ] Idiot!

What is going on here?

We're having A fight about the due date Of the marketing proposal.

Well, then there's Only one way tosolve it.

Computer: fight.

Stapler.

Stapler.

Post it, post it! P-p-p-post it!

Finish him!

You know that proposal Was due on wednesday, jim.

Thursday, nancy.

Hot water.

Sexual harassment.

Lawsuit, lawsuit.

Letter opener.

Ryu from Street fighter?

I didn't know You worked here.

I don't, but that proposal was Definitely due on wednesday.

Fight.

I'll get Right on it.

Mail, Mr. Griffin.

Excellent, next year's funding's Come through.

One dollar?

What do we do With one dollar?

We're going back to basics, That's what.

T minus five

Four, three, two,

One.

♪ monkeys in outer space ♪

♪ protecting the freedom Of the human race ♪

♪ four fingers on his hand ♪

♪ freedom across the land ♪

♪ protecting the united states ♪

♪ we owe our freedom To these primates ♪

♪ many died Along the way ♪

♪ in fact, they all did ♪

♪ but that's okay ♪

♪ monkeys in outer space ♪

♪ protecting the freedom Of the human race ♪

♪ monkeys in outer space ♪

♪ they're easier Than humans to replace ♪

♪ a human life Is a terrible waste ♪

♪ that's why we shot Monkeys into space ♪

♪ we used all the monkeys That we could find ♪

♪ 50 dead monkeys, Huge step for mankind ♪

♪ monkeys in outer space ♪

♪ protecting the freedom Of the human race ♪

♪ monkeys in outer -- ♪

Yeah, do the do!

Mr. President, your vitals All check out fine.

There is just one thing.

Your mido-chlorian count Is extraordinarily hight.

Does that mean That I'm one of them,

What you call 'em, now, Jedis?

[ laughs ]

Oh, not tonight.

I'm tired, honey.

You're not tired. You want to have A threesome.

I'm not tired. I want to have a threesome.

Get me condi.

Oh, sorry, dubya.

Big mac attack. Whoo-hoo!

Hey, hey! Whoa, What's the dilly?

[ laughs ]

Sabre Beats rock.

What the hell?

Who dares disturb My slumber?

Who dares question My daring...

Of his dare...

Jerk.

It is I! I who freed the slaves,

I who -- Boring.

Let's fight.

If you strike me down, I shall become --

Wait a minute, Let me finish!

That'll teach you, George washington.

Jenna, get over here Right now.

I am your father!

That's not true!

That's impossible!

My real father would Let me go clubbing

As late as I want!

You little -- Ow!

Oh, no! Baby, I'm sorry.

Aah!

You suck!

No!

What -- Was it just a dream?

Mr. President, We still haven't found

Any weapons Of mass destruction.

You have found weapons Of mass destruction.

Uh, hi.

We haven't.

You have.

I don't know What you're doing.

Bring me a taco. Yes, sir.

Heh heh heh, Tacos rule.

[ man whistling ]

Excuse me, Could you please help me?

Oh.

Is everyone ready for more Of those uproarious bloopers?

Audience: yes!

Who let the dogs out?

It's time to raise the roof

With these mishaps On the lassie set.

Timmy's in the well? Let's go, lassie.

Aah, aah! Get him off!

Get him off, Get him off!

Timmy's in the well? Let's go, lassie.

[ screaming ]

Timmy's in the well? Let's go, lassie!

[ screaming ]

Boy, that guy Really had it rough.

[ crickets ]

Speaking of spaying And neutering,

Bob barker was accused Of sexual harassment.

Here's a price is right blooper.

All right, Big spin.

[ screaming ]

If you think that's The only time things got

Awkward on a game show, Here's some feud for thought.

Marjorie.

Susan.

Matthew.

Uh-huh.

A later host Of the family feud

Would hang himself.

Britney spears' chaotic Shocked the world

With its private moments And low ratings.

Here's some scenes that were Too chaotic, even for upn!

We famous, baby, Yeah.

Ha ha ha!

No, baby, I'm famous.

And you're only famous Because I'm famous.

Ha ha ha, Yeah, yeah.

[ both laughing ]

Oh, baby.

Stupid.

You wouldn't think nicholas cage And michael jackson

Have anything in common,

But they both poked their heads Into graceland,

And they both had Their skulls on fire.

Here's a ghostrider outtake.

Okay, nick. Are you ready?

Yeah, let's do it. Okay, here we go.

Did anyone teach him To ride a motorcycle?

Anyone?

Who didn't masturbate

To hulk hogan's Bulging biceps in the 80s?

Let's see what he's up to now In hogan knows best.

Let me ask You something, brother.

Who wants peas?

The hulkster said, Who wants peas?

Hulk-a-mania's running Mild, brother.

Do you like watching Stupid people get injured?

So did fans of mtv's jackass.

The network begged viewers Not to try this at home,

But of course, they did.

Here we go!

Yeah!

Go!

Aah!

[ laughing ]

Yeah!

[ laughing ]

That's all for today! Hope to see you next time

For even more Side-splitting bloopers!

Captioning provided By turner studios

♪ [clucking] ♪