Original subtitles

It's alive!

Do you mind?

I-16.

Cowa-bingo, dudes!

♪ senior mutant ninja turtles ♪

♪ senior mutant ninja turtles ♪

♪ senior mutant ninja turtles ♪

♪ mutants in a wheelchair ♪

Dude, this prune pizza Is bodacious.

Oh, no, I just Cowabunga'd In my pants.

Barf-a-rooney!

I hope you're wearing Adult undergarments.

Are you?

It depends.

♪ senior mutant ninja turtles ♪

♪ heroes wearing diapers ♪

Dudes, where's Splinter?

Hey, what are you doing?

Looking for shredder. No, not here.

♪ senior mutant ninja turtles ♪

♪ heroes touching nurses ♪

Look what I found In my old stuff --

My old skateboard!

Dude, let me see that!

Cowabunga!

♪ senior mutant ninja turtles ♪

♪ dealing with life changes ♪

I think you'll enjoy

"Million dollar baby," Miss dunst.

Yeah, I hear Really good things --

My favorite part is When hilary swank Gets paralyzed

And clint eastwood takes Her off life support.

Thanks.

Aah! Hee hee!

According to my spidey sense, You owe me a kiss!

Get it? It's like the movie

That you were in.

Hey, buddy. Are you okay?

Hey, can you Hear me?

Buddy?

Dude.

I told you It would be special.

Well, we're going Down the river on this one,

Though the odds of that Inside straight are--

Oh, and there's his tell! That'll cost him.

Announcer: there's A new detective cleaning up

The streets of san francisco.

This fall, Rick schroeder is...

With the help of his Faithful driver, tan wang.

Man on radio: ricky, We've got a robbery on market.

It's rick. Tan wang, let's roll.

Tan wang, the noise!

Damn it, wang, the noise!

Woooooo! Wooooooo!

No crook can escape Shaw's wheels of steel.

Oh, I'm not done With you yet, punk.

Wang, throw it In reverse.

Beep, beep, beep.

Don't look down!

Whoo-hoo!

Hold on tight!

Detective rick shaw!

We like action movies. They're really fun.

Then, after the movie, We come home

And I like to turn My wife upside down

And stick a banana, An apple, handi-snacks,

And a stick of string cheese In her, like this.

[ giggles ]

[ moaning ]

We liked jackass the movie 'cause we like pranks.

Sometimes I fill up billy here With horse crap,

Light him on fire, put him On the neighbors porch,

Ring the doorbell, And they stomp him out.

Their shoes smell Like horse poo.

Yo, yo, yo, dawg, what was The last movie we saw?

Sense and sensibility, Kid.

Yeah, that joint was Hot to death, son.

Yeah, we sneaked some 40s up in that bitch,

Like this.

Sometimes I go To scary movies mit hans

And I get very nervous And start to hyperventilate,

So I blow in and out of hans, Like zis.

Hans!!!

Fan-dingo.Com --

Why not add a dollar to The price of your movie ticket?

You suck, scott norwood!

You [beep] Jerk.

[ giggling ]

Oh, girls, grow up.

Ooh!

Did you say your Prayers, timmy? I sure did, mom!

Good boy, son. Sleep tight.

Uh, dad, Is the cat outside?

Yes, he is, timmy.

[sighs] Good.

Aaaaaah! Aaaaahh!

What is it, son?

I thought I told you To get the [beep] Outta here!

Stupid cat!

Computer: I don't like it When you touch me like that.

Excuse me, What year is this?

Uh, 2006?

2006?

[chuckles] Oh, man.

Good luck, Buddy!

B-rabbit, you're on!

Ehh, I told you, daffy, My name is bugs.

No, your m.C. Name Is b-rabbit.

We've gotta appeal To today's kids.

No longer looney tunes, We're lizzooney tizzunes.

Real hip-hop, dawg.

Sufferin' succotash!

Ehh, I'm nervous, daffy!

Listen, brother, You gotta get out there!

And don't choke again!

Ehh, which way is the stage?

Just look at the sign.

Get ready for the rap battle Of the century.

First, let's have a hand For dj bacon bits.

P-p-p-p-put your hands In the air

Like you J-j-j-j-ust don't care!

Alright, our first Challenger tonight

Hails from 8 carrot road.

Put your hands together

For b- rabbit.

[ scattered cheers And applause ]

And first on the mic tonight

Is the reigning champion,

The m.C. Hunter,

Elmer phudd with a p-h.

I'll get you, wabbit!

Yo!

I'm taking you to school. Call me the professor.

You're sexually confused 'cause you're a cwossdwessa.

You wike to kiss men, And that's weal funny.

Call up hugh hefner, You're a gay boy bunny.

You're wost on this stage, You need a map, junkie.

You made a wong weft turn At albuquerque.

One mo'! One mo'!

I'm a pimp 'cause my hunting Apparel's hot, son.

I do a dwive by on your hole With my double bawweled Shotgun.

Now, hold on a second, mac!

It's not wabbit hunting Season yet.

See?

Ok, your turn, b-rabbit.

Ehh, yo!

Uh, yo...

Audience: choke! Choke! Choke!

[ nervous laughter ]

Man: aw, you suck!

Yeah, yeah.

I know that you call me A wascally wabbit.

You say your r's like w's, That's a really bad habit.

It's room not womb, Trees not twees.

You replace so many r's I thought that you was chinese.

You're so stuck on yourself I'll call you elmer's glue.

I got you some coffee. One lump or two?

Two?

I only dress like a girl To prove that you're gay.

Would you like a kiss, handsome?

Weally? Okay.

Elmer packs phudd, You heard what I said.

He's so bald, I'll put A hare on his head.

I'll sit down on your head Just like I was the thinker.

Hmmm. [farts]

Ain't I a stinker?

Holy toledo!

B-rabbit wins!

B-rabbit wins!

[crying] I'm a disgrace.

Yo, b-rabbit, It's me, dr. Dre.

Ehh, what's up, doc?

Ain't nothing But a g thing, baby.

I'd like to offer you A record deal.

You gon' go down in history As the first grey mc.

Th-th-th-that's all, bitches.

♪ chicken clucking ♪

Captioning provided By turner studios