Original subtitles

- [maniacal laughing]

[drill humming]

- it's alive!

- [gobbling]

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group

- [gasp]

Eee!

- ha ha ha!

Eee!

- ha ha ha!

I have millions of these! Ha ha ha!

[beeping]

- oh, my god! Look at the time!

- the bags! Just grab the bags.

- oh! My hat. Where is my hat?

- oh, wait, wait. Wai-wai-wait.

I need to make this happen.

- there's no time. Are you kidding me?

No time!

[horn blows]

Oh, no.

Wait! No, please! Wait!

- well, that's Just great, steve.

My mother was so right About you being unreliable.

And now-- Now look at where we are!

- well, I, um...Uh...

- [panting]

Are we too--we are!

Come on. It's not that big a boat.

Just flip it o--aww!

We're doomed. We're doomed.

- aw, game over, man. Game over.

- you know what? I'm gonna build my own ark.

Yeah, and it's gonna be Better than noah's.

- [all talking at once]

- [snort]

[thunder]

- this sucks.

- ha ha ha!

You guys are gonna drown.

But we're a mermaid And a merman.

We can swim! Ha ha ha!

- [growl]

I hope you can also Asexually reproduce, [beep]Hole.

- crap.

- so you told them The wrong time on purpose?

- yep. God hates freaks.

- that doesn't sound like god.

- that doesn't Blah blah blah!

- well, then, why did you Let the pixie fairies on board?

- I did?

[thumping]

- aah!

Get back here, You little dust tosser.

[thumping]

[beeping]

- hmm!

Ha ha!

- [grunting]

- [sniffing]

- ha ha ha!

Goh!

- oh!

- kitty, my ipod's busted.

I'm gonna put my foot Right up steve jobs' ass.

- oh, hush, red. I'm blogging.

- in korea, you could Get a good blogging

For 5 american dollars.

- [laughter]

- oh, honey. Ha ha ha!

[telephone rings]

- kelso. - fez.

I just took your picture With my phone.

I just sent it to you.

- ooh, what a sexy photo.

It really captures My metrosexuality.

- ok. Who just text-messaged me That I'm a douchebag?

- [shouts]

- hi. I'm tv's topher grace.

As you've seen tonight,

The precious trappings Of our material-obsessed Existence

Become the sitcom fodder Of the future.

So, hey, please remember,

Try not to be such a douchebag.

Thanks for listening.

- bring out your dead!

- I'm not about to die for A cause I don't believe in.

- I don't--what can I tell you?

I mean, this is--it's bad!

- ohh. I sure am hungry.

These carrots are not mine.

But I'm hungry, so it's ok.

Yum, yum, yum, Yum, yum, yum, yum.

- who's eating my carrots?

- oh, dear!

- those carrots Are for robot thanksgiving.

- aah!

- I sure am glad I got you for christmas

Even though I wasn't good Every single day

And got a spanking sometimes When I was bad.

[neigh]

- aah!

- that's coming from the car-- The carrot patch!

[neigh]

- oh, ho, ho! Carrot stew... And princess, too.

- I want to be the robot!

- I'm the robot!

- you're dumb.

- I will save you, Princess britney.

- I will fight you.

- pow! Pow! Pow!

- you're dead. You're dead.

- nuh-uh. You're dead.

- [all talking at once]

- my daddy says "I love you" With his belt.

- mrs. Mcnally!

Mrs. Mcnally, Darryl made a fart.

- pow! Pow!

- quit it!

- I now pronounce you Husband, ro--wife, and robot,

- [kissing]

- [giggling]

- the end.

[fart]

- [laughter

[elephant trumpets]

[lion roars]

[thud]

[applause]

- I hear you're the guys to see About entering a race.

- not just any race.

- [snicker]

No race has higher stakes Than this.

- I want in.

- you got to pay If you want to play.

I haven't met the man yet

That I think Can handle this race.

- I don't scare easy.

- ha ha ha! - ha ha ha!

- [crowd murmuring]

[cheering]

[engines revving]

- let's stow away In the mach 5,

For it goes so very fast,

And we always Greatly assist speed

Whenever he runs into trouble, Which he always does, mm-hmm?

- chim chim.

[synthesizer music]

[tires screeching]

- better use the turbo boost.

- michael, wait.

I can only use my turbo boost Once per episode.

- well, I'm using it.

- it's important That I do not move

Because if I were to move, That would add to the cost.

So if I stay perfectly still, It will be preferable to moving

Because animation Costs money, uh-huh.

[tires screeching]

- gosh, golly, gee willikers, Ziminy jippity-do, batman!

Those policemen are pretty rude.

- robin, Law enforcement officers

Are the backbone of our society.

Mother[beep]S.

- yaaa-hoo!

- now that guy is gaining.

We're never gonna win the race.

I have to go to the bathroom. Will you buy me a soda?

My friend jimmy's dad Bought him a new skateboard.

I want a new skateboard.

This race is stupid.

- ooh! This'll fool Them duke boys.

[giggling]

- there's a detour, bo.

- yaaa...

[crash]

- oh.

Oh. My god.

- I don't believe In cheating, batman.

I believe in doing what's right.

- if you don't want A bat bitch-slap,

You'll launch the batnet And take down those cops.

- oops!

- aah!

- retract the line. Retract the line!

- no, no, don't retract! Don't retract!

- aah!

- aah! Get him off me!

[gibberish]

Oh, lord! Aah!

[howling]

- we're almost To the finish line, partner.

Oh.

- ha ha ha!

- mario, we're losing.

- it's time to use The blue tortoise shell, no?

- do it, you magnificent Stereotypical bastard.

- the blue tortoise shell Is mario kart race's Ultimate weapon.

It magically finds The lead car in the race,

And it takes it out.

Ha ha ha!

- [grunting]

Urk!

[sniff]

- [cheering]

- you're more man than me, Headless ponch.

- ooh!

- headless ponch. - headless ponch!

- as the winner, You receive this gift basket

From omaha steaks...

- awesome. Wonderful.

- and a $50 gift certificate From best buy.

- best buy! Woof!

- aww.

[crowd jeering]

- I'm in awe of headless ponch.

He's very attractive.

Headless pouch.

- headless pouch.

Ponch. Ponch. Ponch. Go.

- headless stick.

- ha ha ha!

- excuse me. I just farted In a very musical tone.

[shouting gibberish]]

- shut up! - ruff!

- I like being an american.

I like everything About being burt.

Being burt, Being burt, being burt.

Gosh, it's good.

[director's slate claps]

- [belch]

I want to show you something That I'm very proud of,

And it's gonna scare The living [beep] Out of you.

- ha ha ha!

- you will have to step back Just a few feet.

Print.

[fart]

Lunch.

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group

- stupid monkey.