Original subtitles

Jonathan Hart.

He's a millionaire, self-made.

And this is his wife, Jennifer. She's quite a lady.

Oh, and that's me. My name is Max.

I take care of them, which ain't easy.

Because when they met, it was murder.

MAX: Gold, me hearties.

[MAX AND PIRATE CACKLING]

Gold.

Oh, yeah!

Stolen from my husband. He'll run you through for this.

[GRUNTS]

You're a larcenous blackguard,

and I'd love to get my hands on you.

Aye, and a fighting lady.

I'm not a lady when I fight.

A fiery wench.

♪ ♪

[GASPS]

[GRUNTING]

[SIGHS]

I prayed you'd come. Ah.

I'll only be a moment.

♪ ♪

Arr...

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[SIGHS]

Your sword has no equal, sir.

My lady, I can only do with what I've got.

MAX: If I can't have the gold, no one can.

No one. No one.

No! No!

No! No!

No! No!

No. No. No. No. No.

Darling...

Darling.

I hate to say this, but where am I?

We're in San Francisco in a hotel. Remember?

We're here for a charity auction, remember?

Remember me? I remember you.

[CHUCKLES]

I fell asleep. And had a bad dream.

Actually, it was going great until Max spoiled it.

Max? Yeah, we were on the Explorer.

Only it wasn't the Explorer. It was a pirate ship.

Really? Yeah. Max was the villain.

[CHUCKLES]

He was trying to steal our gold coins.

Oh.

He was absolutely bloodthirsty. Bloodthirsty? Max?

I was Errol Flynn. And you were...

Maureen O'Hara? Oh, I love Maureen O'Hara.

She was the only redhead who had the courage to wear pink.

You were wearing green.Oh.

And you were playing with my sword.

I was?

Is there any meaning in that, Dr. Freud?

Well, this I do not know.

However, what I do know is,

if we don't get dressed right now,

we will be late for our own charity auction.

I think I'm falling in love with my doctor.

[CHUCKLES]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Come in.

I had your suit pressed, Mr. H.

Oh.Hey.

Hey, look at all that fruit.

Oh, Junior. Ha, ha.

Help yourself, Max.

Blood oranges, my favorite.

What did I tell you?

[BELL RINGS]

Hey, Junior!

Now, don't you run Max ragged.

You know what they say about San Francisco, Max?

Once you've walked around it, you can lean against it.

Have fun.

And if they auction any Muggsy Spanier '78s,

snap them up. Who's Muggsy Spanier?

You gotta be kidding, Mrs. H.

He was only the greatest cornet player ever.

Really? Goodbye, Max.

Muggsy Spanier?

"Who's Muggsy Spanier?"

What's the world coming to, Junior?

♪ ♪

[BAND PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]

[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

Jennifer and I welcome you, all of our good friends.

As you know, this is a fund-raiser

for the Mission Street Orphanage,

which is a cause that is very dear to my heart.

So we hope you'll all bid on these wonderful auction items.

As an addition today,

we have this exceptional display of gold coins

which were recovered from a 16th century Spanish galleon

off the coast of Point Reyes

by Captain Daniels and his crew on the Explorer,

which is a flagship

for Hart Industries Oceanic Explorer Fleet.

It's my pleasure to introduce to all of you

Captain Jeremy Daniels.

Thank you.

[APPLAUSE]

And now, uh, we will open the silent auction.

And we hope that you will all open your pocketbooks

and your hearts for this great cause.

But, uh, please, no bidding on the gold.

Thank you.

[APPLAUSE]

You were beautiful.Ah.

And I cannot wait. Can't wait for what?

To open my heart and your pocket.

Hmm, I'll bet you're gonna be

looking for something heart shaped, huh?

How did you know that? You're famous for it.

Well, I would like to get some records

by Muggsy what's-his-name? Spanier? Muggsy Spanier?

You've heard of him? Sure.

So who was he? A cornet player.

"At the Jazz Band Ball," 1939, Bluebird label. Incredible.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

I must have led a very sheltered life.

Mm.

Captain, would you mind if my husband gets a picture of us?

We can pretend that we were at sea on the Explorer.

You really don't have to pretend.

One of the items up for auction this afternoon

is a working position on the next ExplorerVoyage.

Oh, heh.

I get seasick in a bubble bath, so...

Corla, your right.Oh.

Yeah. How's that?

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

♪ ♪

Perfect.

Not a Muggsy Spanier record in the catalog.

But there is a Victrola

that might have once belonged to Bugsy Siegel.

Keep looking, darling.

Oh, that's sweet.

[CHUCKLES]

Aren't those adorable kids?

Didn't you tell me you once had a sailor suit like that?

Just like that.Ah.

That's me.

Are you serious? Positive.

Well, then who's she?

Well, I don't know. But I sure would like to.

Darling, if we could find her,

she might be able to tell you something about your childhood.

Yeah, that might be something if we could locate her.

I was about three years old when that was taken,

just before they brought me to Mission Street.

Maybe someone at the orphanage donated it.

Maybe she donated it.

Oh, this is exciting.

Mysterious face from the past.

[SCOFFS]

♪ ♪

How are you gonna get these coins?

They'll be heavily guardedNot your problem.

The price is 12 million.

When and where? We'll let you know when.

You send your yacht back for us.

That way it'll be up to you to get us through customs.

Once we're safely out, you give us the money,

we give you the coins, then we disappear.

Okay? Good.

My yacht will be at your disposal.

A glass of champagne? Got a beer?

[CHUCKLES]

The auction inventory is here somewhere, Mr. Hart.

Ah, yes. Here they are.

We really do keep meticulous track of things here

at Salisbury and Salisbury Auctioneers. Now, let's see.

One locket, gold, heart-shaped, antique.

Oh, I regret to say this item has been reported stolen.

It disappeared before the silent bidding ended.

Oh! Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Salisbury.

We got so excited we just took it.

Took it?

You pinched an item to be auctioned?

Well, I, uh, didn't pinch anything,

but I had a good time anyway.

Um, heh, you say pinched, we say stolen.

In any event, we didn't do either.

Either? Either.

We didn't do one or the other.

You removed the locket from the auction

without contributing any legal tender for it.

What would you call that?

Well, we're perfectly willing to pay for it now

if you just tell us what the highest bid was.

Mrs. Hart, I don't think that would be, uh, cricket.

[CLEARS THROAT]

That's it. That's our bid.

Now can you tell us who donated the locket?

No, I cannot.

The locket in question wasn't donated to us here at S&S.

It was part of a lot given directly

to a Miss Elizabeth Logan. Do you know her?

Uh, it rings a distant bell.

She's worked for me for the past ten years.

Then I suggest you go and find Miss Logan, Mr. Hart.

And may I suggest what you can go and do, Mr. Salisbury?

Darling, um, that wouldn't be cricket.

Oh. Heh.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Sarah.

If anyone should find out about this,

I'll be thrown off the Explorer. It's a good ship, good job.

What? You want us to give you a 21-gun salute?

This is the provenance.

I made a copy of it in the Communications Room.

This certifies the authenticity of the coins.

They were newly minted.

They could be worth a fortune to a collector.

If someone had the provenance,

which would vouch for their authenticity.

It's all worthless without the coins.

I risked my job, my life for this.

Oh, don't worry. We're taking care of it.

Evan, why don't you take care of Mr. Jorgensen?

Anything new on the locket, Liz?

No, I'm sorry.

I didn't personally log anything delivered.

But I'll keep checking.

Well, Salisbury could be wrong.

Ah! Which one did you meet? Senior or junior?

I'd say, uh, senior. 65 or 70 years old.

No, that's junior.

An honest gentleman, but a penny or two short of a pound.

Well, he's not anymore. He just cleaned me out.

Listen, Liz, keep trying and call me back, will you?

Thanks very much. Bye.

How do you feel about a Silver Fizz and some lunch

at the Buena Vista? Oh, I'm not really very hungry.

Oh, neither am I. Neither?

Well, I don't feel like eating.

Even if we never find this mysterious lady with the locket,

why can't we just count our blessings

and be thankful for the way things are?

You're right.

I mean, here we are in this beautiful city.

We're together, we're not hungry,

we've got our health and we've got each together.

Who could ask for anything more?

♪ ♪

Hello? Yeah. Oh, hi, Liz.

Yeah. You did? Great. Give it to me.

Thanks very much.

We got a name. Who?

Al Goldberg. 8497 Grant. Great!

Grant.

[BELL CLANGING]

♪ ♪

Excuse me. Is Mr. Goldberg here?

Yes. I'm Ling Goldberg.

Welcome, welcome.

What is it? You look surprised.

Well, I must admit that I am.

[CHUCKLES]

If there can be a Goldberg named Whoopi,

why not a Goldberg named Ling?

No reason. LING: Exactly.

I don't even think Whoopi is her real name.

Mr. Goldberg, do you recognize this locket?

[CUCKOO CLOCK CHIMES]

Yeah.

Can you tell us where you got it?

Well, that's confidential information.

Discretion is the cornerstone of my business.

Ours too.

[CHUCKLES]

But we are obligated to our colleagues in personal income

to find out whether or not this locket

which you're probably going to deduct as a charitable donation

is actually worth what you say it is.

In fact, I'm quite sure

that they'd like to take a closer look

at all your deductions.Yes.

Heh, so, what is it? You two, you're with the IRS?

I, uh, got the piece a little over a year ago.

So lookit... You take this.

I don't know even if the address is still good, but...

We'll take it from here. Thanks very much.

Uncle Sam is proud of you.Yes.

Yes.

The combination codes were derived

from a primary default binary language

based on random number theory.

It was programmed specifically for this one task.

Unfortunately, they use symbolic logic

as opposed to non-symbolic logic to design the language.

And you've been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

Will you just tell us what to do?

Well, simply place the sensor over the keypad,

switch on, press this button when you're ready to scan.

The sequence generator will begin ramming numbers

until you crack the code. Should take about 10 seconds.

But the Hart Industry boys are not hackers.

So you may have to add about another 10 seconds there.

As soon as the numbers lock up, you're in.

All you gotta do is, uh, open the case.

Fantastic.

But, uh, how are you gonna get that close?

Well, there's something you don't know.

You, Professor Higgins, are a true genius.

And I can't resist genius.

Evan, I think the Professor earned

an extra share, don't you?

Sure. I'm loaded.

♪ ♪

[SILENCED GUNSHOTS]

STUART: No. Listen, I'm catering Danielle Steel's party.

Yeah, so you see, I'd like to send a very special bouquet.

Now, you're her favorite florist.

So just send what it is that she likes and bill me.

Uh, the card? Have it, uh, read,

"Deeply grateful for your continued support.

Stuart Morris, uh, Pacific Heights Cuisine Catering."

Okay, got that? Great. Thank you.

We are not catering Danielle Steele's party, and you know it.

You work too hard at working too hard, Stuart.

It's not work. I'm creating opportunity.

Greatness rubs off when you rub elbows with it.

You are some piece of work. You know that?

And you love every minute of it, admit it.

Hmm.

Um, do me a favor, Tib.

Don't forget to pack the remainder of that gateau

and carryall in a box. I have to take it over to Aunt Maureen's.

I promised her a little taste. No problem.

Hi. I'm Stuart Morris. This is my place.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I know you. I've seen you.

My name is Jonathan Hart.Heh.

Yes.

This is my wife, uh... Um, Jennifer.

Oh, yes. Of course. Okay.

Uh, well, we cater a lot of celebrities here.

Oh. Mm, looks delicious.

We haven't had lunch yet, have we, dear?

What can I offer you?

Some information. Okay.

Oh, about this. I'm sorry.

How did you get this?

We were told it belonged to you.

Actually it was my Aunt Maureen's.

And, uh, she sold some things to, uh, get some money

to help me open up this place here, I guess.

Uh, that's her there.Really.

Well, that's me. You're kidding.

Really? Oh.

Well, it doesn't look anything like you.

I shaved since it was taken.

[CHUCKLES]

My husband must've known your aunt.

We'd like to find out how.

Well, look, you see, my aunt,

she's, uh, she doesn't have a lot of, um...

Well, no one but me.

And, uh, I wouldn't want anything to upset her.

Well, neither would we.Heh.

Yeah.

Uh, okay. What can it hurt?

MAUREEN: The Golden Gate in the evening lights. Isn't it beautiful?

You know, it was opened in 1937, spanning 8970 feet,

suspended by two towers 740 feet tall,

500 feet from the tip of the tower to the traffic deck,

and then 750 feet down the sea. STUART: Aunt Maureen.

Stuart, what are you doing here? I'm in the middle of my talk.

My nephew Stuart, made in 1967, 6 feet, 170.

STUART: Hello. Hi.

Could you spare a couple of minutes?

I'd like to introduce you to a couple of people.

Yes, of course. Everybody back in the bus.

Head 'em up, move 'em out. Yahoo.

Uh, Mrs. Collier, I'm Jonathan Hart.

This is my wife, Jennifer. How do you do?

Now, you missed Haight-Ashbury and the Castro,

and this is the last stop on our tour.

Oh, no. They don't want a tour.

They'd like to show you something.

What can you tell us about this?

Well, this is my locket, isn't it?

Sure is, Aunt Maureen. Oh, of course.

Did I lose it? Thank you so much for bringing it back.

No, no, no.

Mr. Hart says the little boy in the locket is him.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Is it true?

♪ ♪

I can't believe it. My brother. My baby brother.

♪ ♪

You were such a beautiful child.

Friendly happy, always laughing.

Oh, here, Stuart. You do the honors.

And he had the cutest dimples.

And that little birthmark on your bottom.

[CHUCKLES]

I remember it vividly because you always hated to wear pants.

The only way I could get you to keep them on

was to bribe you with graham crackers and milk,

which you adored.

I still do.

I would put them on and you would pull them back off again.

Fortunately, he's outgrown that habit.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

I just can't believe that this can be happening.

I've dreamed of this moment for so long.

Now I just...

I don't know what to say.

You see? You didn't believe me.

I told you that I had a brother.

I've heard about Aunt Maureen's brother for years.

Ever since she married my Uncle Ernie.

We lost dear Ernie last year.

And then I asked Stuart to move in and keep me company.

How do you like that cake? Mm.

It's wonderful. Your shop?

Mm, oui. It's Gateau Imperiale.

Oh, heh. STUART: Heh.

Not as good as graham crackers, huh, Charlie?

Oh, I wish I had some in the house.

Yes, that's your middle name, Charles, isn't it?

You know, I wanted to call him J.C.,

but the nuns didn't like that.

They could never figure you out. You were smartest child there.

And you were always playing with that little dog

that used to always hang around the orphanage.

What was his name? Um... No. Marty?

I thought you said his name was Monty?

Mm-mm.Monty. That's right.

Yeah, that's right. That was the name of the dog.

My God, I haven't thought about that dog for years.

Well, this is all so incredible.

What do we do now?

Coffee. That's where.

Tell me, uh, what do you remember about our parents?

Well, we were both so young when we moved to Mission Street,

it's hard to remember much.

Daddy was killed in an accident in the Army.

And then suddenly, mother was alone...

no family, young,

worried sick about how she'd take care of us.

I'm sure that Mission Street

seemed the best idea.

- What happened to her? - I don't know.

I was adopted soon after.

My new family, the Gilbertsons, moved to Sacramento.

It crushed me to have to leave you,

but I always knew that we would find each other.

Oh, still as sweet as ever.

♪ ♪

I wish I could show you the files, Mr. Hart, but I can't.

But I've already seen them, Mr. Dillard, at the orphanage.

Before the fire. It was parochial then.

After it was burned, the files were sent here

to Social Services, and they were sealed.

Why was that? It's department policy

to protect the anonymity of the parents.

Personally, I think it's really a lousy idea.

Why shouldn't people be able to know their origins?

If it were me, it would be public record.

JENNIFER: Exactly.

Especially if you just met someone

who could possibly be your sister.

You must be thrilled. I am.

We think we were together at the Mission Street Orphanage.

It was all so long ago that it's hard to remember.

I was hoping the files could help us.

I could get in so much trouble for this.

I know who you two are.

I know this means a lot to you.

Follow me, quickly.

Okay. My supervisor is at lunch.

You have exactly until two o'clock.

Thanks, Mr. Dillard. Call me Andy.

Thanks, Andy.

Where shall we start? Uh...

Let's see. Well, here I am in the "H" file.

Oh, and that's me in the sailor suit again.

JENNIFER: Let me see this.

"Jonathan seems to be a cheerful little boy, always laughing.

He just loves animals,

especially the old stray who hangs around the grounds.

He has a healthy appetite. Not keen on vegetables.

Charlie...

Charlie won't drink milk without graham crackers."

Maureen really knew her stuff.

I forgot how detailed the file is.

Someone could learn a lot about me.

But the files have been closed.

No one was allowed to read them.

Yeah? We're looking at them.

Good point.

We don't even know if Maureen was in Mission Street.

There's one way to find out.

If you were in the H's, she'd have to...

She'd have to be in the G's.

Look at that.

Well, that's Maureen, all right.

♪ ♪

Ta-da. Your favorite.

Not a single Muggsy Spanier record in sight.

But a sister that you haven't seen since you was three.

Call me pisher, but that's some amazing finish.

What are you suggesting, Max?

I don't like playing the long shots.

You ought to should take a good look

when the odds are out of whack.

♪ ♪

MAUREEN: Isn't that beautiful? JENNIFER: Just like a painting.

They're here all the time, sunshine and fog.

My whole life's like that.

Some days I'm shrouded in fog, disconnected,

unable to see who I am or what I am.

And then other days, everything's clear.

I think I know the feeling.

Maybe it comes from being an orphan.

See that's why I could never leave this place.

It's so much a part of me.

But you've been to so many places, done so many things.

Well, I've also been very lucky.

Luck has nothing to do with it, Charlie, and you know it.

You and Jennifer have achieved so much.

Not just Hart Industries, but everything that you stand for,

everything that you do.

It's enough to make a sister proud.

Come on. Come on. Come on. There's more.

There's more.

Jonathan Hart? Yeah.

The Jonathan Hart is your uncle?

I can't believe it. You can't believe it?

I keep pinching myself.

But it all seems to add up though, you know?

I just hope that Maureen doesn't get her hopes up,

and then maybe... It's like a novel.

Right out of Dickens.

Or Danielle Steel, huh? Heh.

I bet you Uncle Jonathan has a lot of friends.

What do you think?

I guess it wouldn't be so terrible

having such a man for an uncle.

Yeah. I suppose I could stand it if I had to, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

[POLICE SIREN WAILING]

[CHATTERING OVER RADIO]

[OFFICERS GRUNTING]

♪ ♪

OFFICER: This is the guy from the Explorer.

[PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]

Hey, how about a toast to family old and new.

Cheers. ALL: Cheers.

I've been thinking.

The Explorerfinding something that Sir Francis Drake missed

is a great piece of local history.

And we thought that you might want to include that

on your tour. I could make the Exploreravailable to you.

Oh, Charlie that is a wonderful idea.

It is so exciting to revisit the past.

Sir Francis Drake sailed along the coast in 1574

aboard the Golden Hind,

plundering every Spanish ship he encountered.

Some scholars believe that he actually kept a journal.

But it was never found.

And to add to the excitement,

the gold coins that the explorer discovered

had actually been minted recently in Madrid

and put into circulation.

They were worth thousands then.

But today, worth millions.

Now the Spanish crown was planning to use those...

How did you, uh, find that out?

What?

All that information about the coins?

I didn't think that had been released to the press yet.

Well, you know, I can't remember where I had lunch yesterday,

but I know my history.

I've tried to learn everything about the past.

Ultimately, history teaches us who we are,

like you and me, Charlie.

That's what you always say, isn't it, Charlie?

So I have.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, Stuart.

We were wondering if you'd be interested

in catering a little reception for us.

Interested? Heh, something simple.

You know, hors d'oeuvres and drinks,

for the Maritime Museum presentation.

Finger food is totally me.Good.

Oh, that's so exciting.Yes. Thank you very much.

It'll be fabulous, I promise.

I can arrange for everything, including the extra help

and the valet parking.

Security can take care of that.

Excuse me. Mr. and Mrs. Hart,

I'm a stringer for the Examiner.

My editor's planning a piece on the coin presentation.

How about a picture?

Oh.All right.

Where would you like us?

If I could have you come around here, sir.

Mr. Hart, could I have the other names at the table?

Oh, I'm Stuart.

S-T-U-A-R-T, not S-T-E-W-A-R-T, Morris.

And this is my Aunt Maureen Collier.

Any special occasion? This is a family reunion.

Mr. Hart and I have just discovered that we are...

Aunt Maureen, I don't know if we should say anything just yet.

Don't you agree? Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean... I hope I didn't...

Shall we let this man have his picture?

Okay. If everybody could just kind of squeeze together.

Now everybody say cheese.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Front page, Mrs. H.

Well, I guess everybody knows where we had dinner last night.

[PHONE RINGS]

Thanks.

Hello? STUART: Jennifer, its Stuart.

Hello, Stuart.

We were just looking at the picture in the paper.

Yeah. You look fabulous.

But it is not my good side. I've gotta get to a gym.

[CHUCKLES]

Listen, it was a great evening.

Jennifer, I don't know how to begin to thank you

and Jonathan. Aunt Maureen is floating on air.

Good. We had a wonderful time too.

Uh, listen.

I was thinking we ought to, uh, maybe get together

this afternoon to discuss the catering ideas.

Four o'clock? Four o'clock is fine.

See you then. All right, bye-bye.

[CHUCKLES]

Stuart set up a meeting

to discuss the arrangements he's made.

Very efficient.

And very convenient

the photographer was at the restaurant.

JENNIFER: Mm.Another long shot.

JONATHAN: Maybe not.

Liz, I'm gonna fax you some information on two people

we've met since we've been up here in San Francisco.

Will you have Russ Becker

do a background check on them for me, please?

Right.

Yeah. I'll call you back. Thanks.

♪ ♪

EVAN: "Jonathan and Jennifer Hart

enjoy an evening out with long lost relative.

Mr. Hart has just been reunited with his sister,

Mrs. Maureen Collier.

According to her nephew Stuart Morris..."

Let me see that.

Stuart Morris. Oh, how touching.

And he's going to cater the big event.

Suddenly it seems there are relatives coming and going

through the service entrance.

What does that mean?

I'll tell you later.

♪ ♪

Wait a minute.

Jennifer Hart's over there. Let's wait until she's gone.

Okay.

Hello! Hello.

♪ ♪

Harry.

Oh, Mr. Hart.

Welcome back to San Francisco.

How can I help you?

Ah, Jennifer got this locket.Hmm.

I wanted to get her a gold chain to surprise her.

Ah, we have lots of lovely ones right here.

Please.

These are beautiful.Mm-hm.

By the way, your nephew stopped by the store this morning.

My nephew. Delightful young man.

Couldn't say enough about you.

He mentioned my name? Oh, terribly proud of you.

And like you, he has excellent taste.

He looked at a lot of watches. But he selected a du Maurier.

That's a lot of watch.Yes.

It's a bit steep for a fellow just starting out in business,

but he fell in love with it,

so I worked out a schedule of payment.

That was very nice of you, Harry. Thank you.

Always a pleasure to accommodate another member of the family.

♪ ♪

I love your hat. Shiver me timbers.

Did you get the ID's? That's what's important.

Relax. They won't need them.

All you have to do is substitute our pictures.

Give me the list of names.

The list? I'm looking for it.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you, thank you, Stuart.

Couldn't have done it without you.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ ♪

Mr. H, I've been looking all over for you.

Captain Daniels called.

He said he might be a little late for the shindig tonight.

Did he say why? He said one of his sailors

had a little too much to drink,

slipped, fell in the drink.

The Harbor Patrol fished him out yesterday.

They needed the Captain to confirm the ID.

Well, thanks, Max.

I always dreamed about putting out to sea.

I guess every boy does sooner or later.

We've sailed a long way together, haven't we, Mr. H?

From the first time we met at the corner newsstand?

I'll say.

We still got a long way to go, don't we?

Bet on it.

You know, I got a lot to be grateful for,

living and working with the two of you.

Something bothering you, Max?

I'd do anything to see

that neither you nor Mrs. H gets hurt.

You've always taken wonderful care of me

ever since that first corner.

But there's nothing to worry about, Max.

I hope you're not setting yourself up for a fall.

I wouldn't want to see that.

You mean Maureen.

Look, Max,

maybe she's my sister,

maybe not.

But even if she is, and I accept her as someone new in my life,

I've already got all the family anyone could ever want.

Jennifer and you. I love you.

Darling! JENNIFER: Coming.

I'm back.

Hi. I had a really productive day today.

I finished my article and faxed it to the editor.

Finalized all the plans for the reception with Stuart.

Did 20 laps in the pool

and half an hour on the Stair Master.

What did you do? Nothing much.

Heh, slacker. Oh.

I bought this chain

because I thought you might want to wear the locket

to the presentation.Aw.

So I stopped by Harry Carlton's.

Thank you, darling.

Harry said that Stuart was in the store.

Really? He bought a du Maurier.

Nice watch.

I didn't know he was doing that well.

Well, he's doing something.

What do you mean?

He used my name to cut a deal with Harry.

Apparently, he made it be known that he's family.

Well, Stuart's young.

He obviously idolizes you and wants to be like you.

Let's just hope it doesn't happen again.

It already has.

Mr. Ganz, the manager, just told me downstairs

that Stuart applied for a membership at the health club.

And because there's such a long waiting list,

Mr. Ganz said he would help expedite things

as a personal favor.

Well, once is all right.

But twice is suspicious.Right.

I can't help thinking

how convenient all of this is for Stuart.

Like Max says, maybe we oughta shoulda take a look.

Maybe you oughta shoulda talk to Stuart.

I intend to, first thing tomorrow.

Good.

But tonight...

Um...

I was just thinking... Instead of going out for dinner,

we have something sent in, hmm?

Are you a slacker and a psychic?

Mm-hm. Heh.

It's your turn to call.

Room service! You're impossible.

You're tough, you know that? You're really tough.

Mmm...

He just completely lost his mind.

Now his real name was Joshua Norton.

But everybody in San Francisco knew him as Emperor Norton,

the first sovereign of the US of A.

And so this fine old Nob Hill residence

was one of his favorite haunts

She don't know us, squirt, so keep your mouth shut.

All right. So we will be back on the bus in 15 minutes.

Next stop, Coit Tower.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Oh, look at that.

Hello, sweetheart.

Are you having a good time?

Oh. You're not feeding him sourdough bread, are you?

Thank you for coming, Max.

How did you know who I was?

Well, Jonathan and Jennifer mention you quite a bit.

You're very important to them. And Freeway too.

I wasn't a hundred percent sure it was you

until I saw you feeding him and talking to him

like he understood everything.

He does, mostly. Well, maybe so.

But I got a little suspicious

when you started explaining how the cable cars work.

I don't blame you for wanting to know more about me, Max.

I would like to know more about you too.

We have so much in common. We do?

Like what? Like Jonathan.

He's been so important to both of us all of our lives.

The only difference is that you've been with him

and I haven't.

You know, I gotta admit, you're not the person I expected.

What did you expect?

I don't know.

But whatever it was, you ain't turning out to be it.

Well, that is a compliment.

♪ ♪

Okay, so put the box on the bar

and make sure you don't drop any chocolates. And smile.

Michelle, let's put those in the recycle bins, please.

Johann, smile in there.

Tibby, I need you back inside, huh?

All the champagne needs to go on the back bar

and please hurry. Good God, that's cold.

Back in the oven now.

Don't let me catch another morsel coming out cold

unless it's on ice.

Honey, everything is going fine.

Why are you so nervous? Nervous, heh?

Tibby, why should I be nervous? Have you seen the guest list?

It's only a who's who of the Bay Area.

My entire career rides on this night.

Stuart, the reception is gonna be wonderful.

I promise. Okay, right here.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming. Nice to see you.

Russell Baker said to give you this.

Now, it's on Stuart.

It's nothing you don't already know.

It's school records, business licenses, that kind of thing.

Nothing on Maureen? Not yet.

Tell him to keep trying, will you, Liz?

Okay.

Hello.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

JENNIFER: Nice crowd.

Certainly some of the most generous people in town.

That should mean a lot of support

for the Maritime Society. It better.

I called in every marker I practically have

to create this turnout.Heh.

Ooh, the hors d'oeuvres look delicious.

I thought it was a great idea of Stuart

to put the waiters in pirate costumes, didn't you?

Speaking of pirates, when are we going to finish it?

What? The dream.

What dream? The dream where I saved you

from the villains and we sail off in the sunset together.

[CHUCKLING]

I'd like to have that last part come true.

Maybe that could be arranged. Chocolate?

Oh, isn't this exciting?

It's like Sir Francis Drake and the pirates are here,

and we're part of it. Nice fantasy.

You know, when he was a little boy,

he used to pretend all the time.

He would always be the swashbuckling hero,

saving the girl at the last minute.

Oh, you see that couple over there?

They were on one of my tours. I gotta say hello. Bye.

♪ ♪

Don't move.

Easy. Easy, slick.

Do what I tell you, all right, chief?

Go ahead.

[WHISTLES]

All right!

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

Don't look back. Keep moving forward.

That's it. Keep moving. That's it.

Come on, gramps. You got a hitch in your get-along?

That way.

What are you? Deaf?

Anyone looks back, it gets worse.

Over there, stupid. What do you think you're doing?

I haven't the foggiest. You can't do this.

You'll ruin everything. I didn't know that!

[SCREAMS]

That's a nice watch.

Here, take it.

Thanks.

No, no. No, no, no.

Don't shoot him.

What was that?

[SCREAMS]

Pass it back.

Come on. Come on.

Mostly inherited anyway.

♪ ♪

Hey, you.

Most of you people have the money.

Look like Macy's window. Come on.

♪ ♪

There you go. Right in the bag, stupid.

Hurry up!

Drop it! Come on.

What about you, chrome dome? Put it in here.

Get over there.

All right, keep looking the other way.

Nobody look back if you want to end like the caterer over there.

[BOTH GRUNT]

[GUNSHOT]

How do you feel, Horatio?

All right. Try a waltz.

Just grab a partner and rub bellies.

[CROWD SCREAMS]

What?

Call the paramedics.

♪ ♪

Oh!

[SIREN WAILING]

Stuart, you're so brave.

Oh, my God, you could've been killed.

This wonderful evening ruined, ruined.

They're taking him to the hospital to X-ray

in case he has a concussion.

How are you? No, I'm fine.

I'm fine. My tattoo was more painful than this.

By the way, it's heart-shaped.

What is it, darling?

It doesn't make any sense. What?

It appears that they never touched the case.

Why wouldn't they?

Open it up, will you, Jeremy?

Nobody plans a robbery this bold

and then ignores the thing of most value.

Darling!

What? Ghirardelli Chocolate!

I'm not gonna make any statement

on behalf of Hart Industries just yet.

Jeremy, cooperate with the authorities,

but also get a hold of Russ Becker

and have our security check into this right now.

Right. All right.

How long have you been awake?

Uh...

I never went to sleep.Oh.

I called the hospital.Mm-hm.

Stuart doesn't have a concussion,

but they're gonna keep him for a while

for observation. And how's Maureen?

Maureen. Max took her home.

She's doing fine.Mm.

I suppose you've looked at this a hundred different ways.

Ah.

And it all comes back to the same thing.

Which is?

Which is it had to be an inside job.

Those coins just can't be fenced on the street.

Somebody had to have a buyer.

They've been working on this for a long time.

The question is who?

I trust Jeremy completely. And Liz.

And everyone at Hart Industries.

Yeah. So that leaves the guests,

the catering staff and Stuart.Hmm.

Now I know he got hit on the head

when he tried to stop the robbers from leaving,

but it still could have been a part

of a very clever cover-up. Clever and painful.

Maureen knew a lot about those gold coins, didn't she?

Yes.

Those people come into our lives,

and suddenly all this happens.

Tsk.

Coincidence or con?

♪ ♪

Special gold plated, but not antique.

Oh.

You certainly could have fooled us.

Nice work.

Designed by a young San Francisco craftsman

who specializes in faux antique pieces.

Very talented.

You see his initials stamped on the back.

I thought that was a hallmark.

His personal signature and the tip-off.

Do you know the artist? Mm.

Could you find out when he made that piece?

Ah, I'll give him a call right now.

Thanks very much.

I've got the funniest feeling in my stomach.

Really? You're not laughing.

It's that humorless

"I've got a feeling we've been had" sick feeling.

He remembers the locket very, very well.

Sold it to a young man.

Whose name was? Didn't get the name.

He paid in cash.

You know that feeling you were just talking about?

Mm-hm. I think its contagious.

What are you looking for?

Tibby, you scared the stuffing out of me.

I didn't hear you come in.

Um, I can't find the hiring list for the Explorerparty.

Stuart, you know what?

You're involved in this robbery, aren't you?

What?

Why would you even think something like that?

Because I know you, and you've been acting weird.

Just trust me, okay?

Tibby, just give me a little bit of time,

and I'm gonna straighten this whole thing out.

Now listen to me.

Do you remember that couple that left the store?

They came in just after Jennifer Hart left that day?

Do you remember them at all? Yes, I do.

You do? Mm-hm.

Well, did you notice anything about them?

Anything at all?

No, they...

They walked out of here and got into a taxi

that was waiting for them. A taxi. What kind?

Do you remember the name of the company?

Bay Cities maybe. Bay Cities.

Uh, Morey Albert, please.

Tell him it's Stuart Morris calling.

It's very important. I need to trace a fare.

SARAH [OVER PHONE]: We waited half the night.

Where the hell are you? We had a deal.

SUIT [OVER PHONE]: We hit rough weather.

We won't be in until tomorrow evening.

Yeah? Well, we're not sitting here forever.

SUIT: No. Just until I arrive.

Unless you want to call the whole deal off

and have the San Francisco police get a call.

Damn! Nobody does business honestly anymore.

Well, I'll kill the dirty, rotten son of a bitch.

Oh, right, right!

He's out at sea, and we're sitting here.

You can just picture him to death.

What about...

What I meant was, when I get a hold of him.

If we get a hold of him.

We have 12 million dollars worth of stolen coins.

What? You think we're just gonna drive across the border?

No. Without that block-long tub to get us out of here,

we're stuck.

We'll get a boat somewhere.

And go where? I don't know.

Somewhere out of the country where it's safe, you know.

He is our only buyer.

Without him, this stuff is worthless.

And I am not about to just sail off to Rio

so that I can wind up working some day job in Ipanema,

thank you very much. No, go back to the houseboat and we wait.

♪ ♪

Ah!

Well, it looks like the IRS enjoys visiting

asset reallocation centers.

Asset reallocation centers?

That is the politically correct name for pawn shops these days.

We're trying to improve our image.

So who isn't? Heh, it's the '90's.

JENNIFER: We want you to tell us about this "antique."

Oy vey, the Focatta locket again.

I wish I'd never seen it.

So, what else is there to know?

The truth.

It's a faux antique. That means fake.

Yes.

It was made by a local craftsman.

Heh, well, it's a fake nothing.

It's a real copy. It was sold recently.

You said you had it in here over a year ago.

I embellished. Arrest me.

That could be arranged, Ling.

All right, all right.

Look, a fella comes in here and offers me 300 dollars

to donate the locket and some junk to a charity auction.

To benefit the Mission Street Orphanage?

That was the one.

He writes his address on the back of my business card

and says if anybody should ever come in

and ask about the locket, I should send them over.

You showed up.

What's his name?

He didn't give a name.

♪ ♪

But you know, he struck me as being the kind of fella

that to get somewhere,

he would take three steps out of his way

when one step in the right direction

would have been a lot smarter.

BOTH [IN UNISON]: That's the one.

JENNIFER: It's been an interesting day so far.

JONATHAN: I'll say.

JENNIFER: Goldberg certainly had Stuart pegged.

Yeah. And Stuart certainly had us pegged.

How could he have known I would find

that locket at the auction?

Well, your penchant for heart-shaped things

is well-known. Even Jeremy said so.

Stuart knew that you'd look at the locket

and see the pictures. And show it to you.

Yeah. And if you didn't take the bait,

he was no worse off than when he started.

And if you did, we'd trace it to Goldberg.

Who'd take us to Stuart.Yeah.

Who'd take us to Maureen,

who'd say that I was her long-lost brother.

Which brings us to the part that bothers me.

That your sister isn't your sister?

No. It just brings up memories of how lonely I was

when I was at Mission Street.

Then I met Max and all that ended.

Then you came into my life,

and I felt that I had all the family I ever needed.

♪ ♪

Until now?

You're still all the family I ever needed.

[JUNIOR BARKING]

Hey, Junior.

Ooh, coffee. Great, Max. Thanks.

I'm happy to report

that Maureen is as clean as Junior's plate.

She's got a little nest egg,

and she helps other gentlemen across the street.

What are you talking about, Max?

I did a little snooping after I took her home.

Guess what I found out?

Maureen was at the Mission Street Orphanage

the same year you were, Mr. H.

And she had a brother.

I'm beginning to feel like a yo-yo.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hart suite. Russell Becker.

Thanks, Max. Yeah, Russ?

Are you sure?

No kidding?

No. I never would've guessed.

Anything on the coins?

Yeah, well, keep the pressure up.

Yeah. Thanks.

Russ, uh, checked out Stuart.

Tsk, no records, no reputation, no rumors.

JENNIFER: Hmm.

Guess who he had coffee with yesterday?

Who? JONATHAN: Andy Dillard.

Oh.

The accommodating Mr. Dillard from Social Services.

♪ ♪

Hey, what brings you guys back here?

We have friends in common. More than friends. Family.

You know my nephew, Stuart Morris?

You're related to Stuart? I've known him for years.

I haven't seen him in such a long time.

Really? Then who were you having a cappuccino with

yesterday on Fillmore Street?

Shall we cut to the chase?

I don't know what you mean. I... I...

Do you see this locket?

It's a fake.

Stuart had it planted because he knew we'd find it.

And we're pretty sure that you gave him the files

so he could copy the pictures.

JONATHAN: You want to tell us or do you want to tell the police?

First of all, this was not my idea.

A couple of months ago, I told Stuart

that I had come across your file, the Jonathan Hart.

I was more curious than anything.

But, you know, Stuart, right,

talks me into letting him see it.

How much did he pay you?

He got me an autographed jersey from Joe Montana.

[JENNIFER LAUGHS]

I bet he signed it himself. I'll bet.

Next thing I know, he's talking about this wild scheme

to get you to believe that his aunt is your sister.

And she's not.

ANDY: Not that I know of.

And then with all the publicity about the coins

and your arrival at the Mission Street Auction, right,

he starts thinking that this scenario,

idiotic as it may sound, is possible.

He keeps saying it's his big break.

Is Maureen really his aunt? Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

You see, she was in the orphanage too.

And had spoken for years about having a lost sibling, right?

Now, Stuart goes in there

and starts feeding her information about you,

your background, your life, and convinces her

that it was something she told him about her brother.

The next thing you know, Mrs. Collier is believing

everything that comes out of his mouth.

Stuart's very persuasive, you know.

He could sell you a very well-known bridge.

It won't be the one from Brooklyn.

Hmm.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

♪ ♪

[DOOR OPENS]

Well, good help is hard to find.

Isn't that the truth?

You mind telling us what you're doing here?

Look, I know what you two did,

and you're not gonna get away with it.

You stole my employees list, put your pictures on the ID's

and used me to steal Jonathan Hart's coins.

Do you have some proof?

Me. I'm the proof. I recognized you two.

Sit down, Stuart.

No, I don't think so.

Excuse me. Yeah, excuse me.

[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS] Let's go over things.

We were working for you. You hired us.

I did not. I never even met you

until that day you came in and stole the address list.

Well, can you prove that?

Look, Jonathan Hart knows everything. Okay?

He knows who you are and where.

But he sent you here alone?

Hmm, I wonder what he'd do

if we told him that we were gonna kill his nephew.

Heh, he's not my uncle.

Wasn't that you in the paper, in the picture with him?

Uh, see, you don't understand. It was all a con.

I, uh, convinced him that my aunt was his sister.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

You don't believe me?

I swear to God it's true. He is not my uncle!

But you told him all about us anyway,

and he believed you? Hmm?

Heh, you know, Stuart, I just don't believe any of this.

I think that you're up to your aspic in lies.

And I think that the best thing for us to do

is just to hang onto you for a while.

After all, we're not killers.

[PHONE RINGS]

JENNIFER: Hello?

TIBBY: Oh, hello, Mrs. Hart?

It's Tibby. I work with Stuart.

Um, I need to speak with you and your husband. May I come up?

By all means. Have the front desk show you up.

Okay, thank you.

Darling, we have an unexpected guest.

I'm so sorry to bother you, Mrs. Hart, but it's Stuart.

I'm afraid he's gotten himself involved in something,

and I'm very worried.

Well, uh, why don't we begin

by your telling us about the locket?

What locket?

How about something to eat?

No, thank you. I am not hungry.

I meant us, you idiot.

Heh. You cook, we eat.

I will not. You will.

SARAH: Make yourself useful.

We've got a long night ahead of us.

We could use some cuisine.

Watch him. I'm going down to the rental office.

Yeah, yeah.

TIBBY: I just can't believe he did this.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

He's always scheming.

But I never thought he would do anything like this.

Then you don't know anything about this locket?

No, I swear.

I believed him, just like you did.

He didn't even tell his aunt. She believes him too.

She wasn't involved?

Absolutely not. Nothing.

What makes you think Stuart wasn't in on the robbery?

Everything seems to be connected.

TIBBY: Mr. and Mrs. Hart, you have to believe me.

Stuart would never hurt anyone. I know him.

It's just that he tries so hard to make things happen.

And sometimes it doesn't always work.

I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

He, uh, lied to us. He lied to all of us, Tibby.

What he did was wrong, if not illegal.

I know. We have our whole future planned out together.

You two, of all people, should be able to understand that.

♪ ♪

Okay. Uh, I want you to taste this.

I want to see if there's enough salt in it.

And, uh, I can't taste it for you.

Right.

Thank you, doll.

♪ ♪

This is not bad.

[EVAN GRUNTS]

[YELLING]

What's the matter? Too spicy?

[GROANING]

♪ ♪

You moron!

Why don't you invite the rest of the neighbors to join us?

What is the matter with you?

Hey! Hey! Give me your boat! I got these people chasing me!

Get out of here! Come on!

[PANTING]

He'll go straight to the cops.

Hell, no. He'll have a tough time

proving he didn't hire us to work for him.

No, no. He'll go to the Harts.

Yeah. What are we gonna do?

Exactly what we were going to do.

We wait for the Canadian.

The Harts will go to the cops.

Not if we have Mr. Hart's long lost sister.

[SPITS]

You are disgusting.

MAUREEN: It was originally called Fort Winfield Scott.

And it was completed in 1861

to forestall any possible Confederate sea attack

during the Civil War.

Now, you've experienced its rooftop ramparts

and the dim corridors and the echoing stairways.

I think you'll agree with me that Fort Point

would make a wonderful hide and seek playground

for the child in all of us.

Well, this concludes our tour. Your coach will take you back.

I have my own car. And I will say goodbye.

Thank you. Thank you.

I hope you had a good time. Have a safe journey home.

Excuse me.

Mrs. Collier, would you mind taking us back inside?

Oh, the fort is closed. I know it's fascinating,

but you'll have to come back tomorrow.

No, no, no, no, no.

Come on. Come on, come on.

Twice in one week.

This is really getting out of hand.

♪ ♪

This whole thing started so simple,

and it just got out of control.

It was just a simple little con?

No big deal? Happens every day?

No one was supposed to get hurt.

I never wanted anything except to get nearer to you.

You know, get to know you.

So you could rob us?

No, no, no, no. Never that.

I mean, you're Jonathan and Jennifer Hart.

And, uh, I just wanted a chance to, uh, be a part of your world

and get my foot in the door. That's it.

It was a beautiful plan.

And it worked just as it was supposed to.

Well, it'll look good on your resume.

I know you don't have any reason in the world

to trust me... JONATHAN: Not one.

But I'm telling you the truth.

You haven't told the truth since the day that we first met.

It backfired.

These people saw our picture in the paper,

and then they used me to get inside.

Didn't you recognize these people during the robbery?

Something was familiar, yes. But I wasn't sure.

And then I got knocked out.

Those people would've killed me today if I hadn't escaped.

Well, if you're not the inside man, then who is?

♪ ♪

Jeremy, Jonathan.

You went to identify a sailor in your crew, didn't you?

Well, what did you find out about him?

See what you can find on him.

Call me. Thanks.

♪ ♪

[PHONE RINGS]

Jonathan Hart.

Jonathan. Listen, you, uh, were right.

He worked in the ships' records. He had access.

He could easily have copied the provenance papers.

And he received a letter about two days before

they found him floating in the harbor

setting up a meeting to sell the provenance to someone else.

Well, thanks, Jeremy. Send me a copy of that letter.

And see what else you can find out.

I'll get it right off.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

SARAH: Jonathan Hart, please. Uh, one minute.

I think it's them.

♪ ♪

Hello, this is Jonathan Hart.

Jonathan, I have someone here who'd like to speak with you.

Who is it?

This is your sister's personal secretary. Please hold.

[WHISPERS] Speaker on.

All right. Make it good, honey

Jonathan, I'm all right.

Would you tell Stuart and Winfield Scott

that no one has attacked, but I'm afraid that they might.

And I'm afraid the Confederates may come from the sea.

All right, get her out of here.

Come on, looney tunes.

What a charming sister you have.

A bit off the wall, but... You hurt her...

There's no reason to hurt anyone.

We just need you to be patient a little while longer.

Don't call the police, don't try to find us,

and don't try to stop us.

If you do, sis takes the fall.

Maureen will be all right.

They'll hold her until they try to get away.

But if anyone tries to stop her...

They're gonna kill her. Maybe we should call the police.

No. Scare those two and they'll kill her for sure.

He's right. Our best bet is to find Maureen ourselves.

What if we bargained with them? Offered to let them go?

No. They're not gonna leave a witness.

Oh, my God! I am such a fool!

MAUREEN: Jonathan, I'm all right.

Would you tell Stuart and Winfield Scott

that no one has attacked, but I'm afraid they might...

Darling, shut that off. Who is Winfield Scott?

What did she mean about no one attacking yet?

They already got her?

SARAH [OVER RECORDER]: There's no reason to hurt anyone.

We just need you to be patient a little while longer.

Don't call the police, don't try to find us,

and don't try to stop us.

If you do, sis takes the fall.

That's it.

A fall from where?

♪ ♪

Wait a minute. I got it! From the top of Fort Point!

They're gonna throw her off the fort.

That is Aunt Maureen's last tour stop.

That's where they grabbed her.

And it used to be called Fort Winfield Scott.

It was built as a citadel in case

of Confederate attack from the bay.

Come on.

JONATHAN: You too, genius boy.

What are we gonna do? "We" aren't gonna do anything.

I don't want to take you with us,

but I don't trust you to leave you here.

Oh, but you can trust me, sir.

I got my aunt into this.

I'll do anything to help you get her out.

You can do me one favor. You just name it, sir.

Don't call me, sir. Heh, yes. Hmm.

[PHONE RINGS]

Tibby. Hello?

Yeah. Hey, Russ, make it fast.

I'm just on the way... Yeah.

What? Are you sure?

All right.

Yeah, uh, send those copies out then, will you?

And, uh, thanks, Russ.

All right, we'll wait until dark.

Then it'll be safer to take her with us.

EVAN: All right. I have my rights.

This is a violation of the Geneva Convention.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When this is all over,

you can file a complaint with the U.N.

You see anything?

Some birds doing strange things.

Look down, you idiot!

[SIGHS]

I don't expect the Harts to just sit by and wait

where their dear sister's concerned. Come on.

You're not afraid of heights, are you?

No. Should I be?

♪ ♪

All right. You better let me go alone.

I'm not letting you out of my sight.

Besides, they're liable to be watching.

I just hope we haven't made a terrible mistake.

Well, if we have, I'm gonna throw myself

off the top of the Fort if I have any strength left.

Don't worry. I'll help you.

Hey, Stuart! Stuart!

I've gotta do this!

Jonathan.

[SIGHS]

Tibby, if I'm not back in 20...

Oh, never mind. You saw the movie.

MAUREEN: Help! Help! Help!

Uh, uh, uh, let's not make this

any more difficult than it already is. Okay?

It'll all be over in a few hours.

Right now we are going over here.

We are going to sit and wait.

Now... sit.

[GRUNTS]

♪ ♪

Evan! Evan!

[EVAN AND STUART GRUNTING]

Stuart!

All right, Stu, I hope you believe in reincarnation.

MAUREEN: Jonathan!

[MAUREEN CRYING]

Ah, Mr. Hart. Hold it.

[GRUNTS]

All right. Enough dancing for the day.

Shut up, you old battle ax! Hey! Hey! Look, look, look!

Whatever you get for the coins, I'll give you more.

Are we supposed to believe you'd buy back your own coins

and just let it go at that?

I'm only interested in my sister's life.

She's the only family I've got.

I've waited all my life to find her. Don't do this.

I don't care about the coins or the money.

I'll pay you anything you want. Honest.

Sorry. We'd have to trust you and wait

while you got the money. No, no.

We'd better go back to the original plan.

Hey! Ugh! Here!

[MAUREEN YELLS]

Okay, I got the gun.

[ALL GRUNTING]

Oh!

[GROANING]

JENNIFER: Darling.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way.

What? In my dream,

it was all so easy. And I was the one that saved you.

Heh, heh. Well, you'll get another chance tonight.

And with all this fresh air, you're gonna sleep like a baby.

Jonathan, I don't know what to say.

Stuart, that is a refreshing thought.

[CHUCKLING]

[GRUNTS]

♪ ♪

[BELL CLANGING]

♪ ♪

STUART: I am so, so sorry.

Can you forgive me?

I just wanted to be someone special.

Oh, Stuart, you are special.

If you don't believe it, just look to your left.

I'll be there to remind him if he ever starts to wonder.

Well, to think I almost had a brother like you.

I wished so hard for you, for him.

I think in my heart,

I realized that I never would find my brother, but...

that's why I tried so desperately to believe.

There's nothing wrong with wanting a family, Maureen.

And I got what I wanted.

Even if it was just for a little while.

It's more than I had a right to expect.

JONATHAN: No, it's not.

You should expect everything.

You deserve it. Especially this.

Oh, my God. You didn't... JONATHAN: I did.

Sometimes it pays to have connections.

Right, Stuart?

You found him?

This is incredible!

Can this be true that I found my brother?

[CAR HORN HONKING]

And he's right on time.

Although his name is not Charlie anymore, either.

STUART: Mr. Hart, I just want to say

that it doesn't matter what his name is.

He couldn't possibly be as wonderful as you, sir.

And far as I'm concerned,

you're the most important person I have ever been close to.

♪ ♪

Hello, Maureen.

JENNIFER: Oh, my God.

Hello! Excuse me, Jennifer, Jonathan.

Hello, Uncle Don.

You must be Stuart. Yes!

Are you as nervous as I am?

Uh, more.

TRUMP: We've got a lot of catching up to do.

Let's get into the car.

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, this is my girl, uh, fiancée, Tibby.

Hi, Tibby. Hello, Mr. Trump.

Okay, inside.

All right.

Jonathan, I owe you one.

Thank you very much, Donald. Take care.

[DOOR CLOSES]

♪ ♪

STUART: So, Uncle Donald.

Uh, you don't mind if I call you uncle, do you?

No. I've got a few ideas I'd like to run by you.

Or we could do lunch. On me, of course.

Max! You got that little item I asked you for?

Sure thing, Mr. H. Filled it up too.

[BARKING]

JENNIFER: Hey! Ha, ha, ha!

Oh, darling.

From my heart to yours.

♪ I left my heart ♪

Darling, do you think we should take Tony Bennett's advice?

What's that?

Leave our heart in San Francisco?

Heh, well, it would be a good excuse to come back.

[BELL CLANGS]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Whoa!

Now, let's go see if we can go finish that dream.

JONATHAN: Do I get to do any swashbuckling?

JENNIFER: You never know. JONATHAN: Oh.

♪ When I come home ♪

♪ To you ♪

♪ San Francisco ♪

♪ Your golden sun ♪

♪ Will shine ♪

♪ For me ♪

♪ ♪