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♪ I'm thinkin' 'bout the times you drove in my car ♪

♪ I'm thinkin' that I might have drove you too far ♪

♪ And I'm thinkin' 'bout the love that you laid on my table ♪

♪ I told you not to wander 'round in the dark ♪

♪ I told you 'bout the swans that they live in ♪

Gardner, he's coming.

Okay.

♪ Then I told you 'bout our kid now he's married to Mabel ♪♪

Almost, darling.

But not quite.

- He's coming. He's coming. - More ice! More ice!

- Okay. He's coming. - Oh, okay.

Hey, Phil.

Is this the appropriate wedding color, son? Black?

It's-it's perfect.

Well, I guess when a Groover marries, the world mourns.

Wait. Hey!

Line up. Hey, hey! Line up. Come on. Line up, okay?

- Okay. - Alright, alright.

Turn the music down. Turn the music down. Come on.

Oh, God! Come on.

All set. Are you ready? Okay. Okay, here they come. Shh!

Shh! Okay.

Three, two, one.

Surprise!

Mom, dad.

- Hi, folks! - Son.

We didn't mean to surprise you, we just thought we'd drop in

and see where you've been living for the past four years!

I'm glad you did.

Oh. You remember Dorman.

- My roommate Dorman? - Oh, yes, yes.

Aren't you the young man who is studying to be a--

A minister.

Minister, that's what I thought.

And this is Lester Griffin, the fifth Groover.

He just graduated summa cum laude in accounting.

Congratulations, Lester.

Well, I, uh, I guess we'll see you after boot camp.

- Lieutenant. - Ah, yes, sir.

Well, we'll see you, son.

- Bye, mom. - See you.

Bye, dad.

- Gardner! - What?

- Good. I hate that part. - That was my parents.

So they're from New Jersey, Phil. They've seen butts before.

There he is! Sneaking in the back door!

The husband!

You getting married, boy. Getting married.

Look, where have you been?

I promised Debbie I'd have you

in Dallas by tomorrow night. Okay?

You haven't packed. You're not dressed.

Speech! Speech!

Speech!

Quiet. Quiet.

Uh, the-- the wedding's off.

Shut up! Damn it.

Deb and I ain't getting married. I'm calling it off.

Waggener, that's great!

Oh, son, when did you come to your senses?

When I got this.

I've been drafted, Gardner.

Congratulations.

We're saved.

The Groovers are saved!

Hey. This has his orders on it.

Oh, we got another one, colonel.

Mine says the same thing, except right here

where it goes, "A review of your 2-S student deferred status

indicates that you have held the status for three years

without achieving academic advancement."

"Therefore, you are hereby ordered for induction."

This mean I get my fondue set back?

You dog!

Yeah! Yeah!

Philip! Philip! Philip, give me your keys.

- We're going somewhere. - Who's going?

We're going. Us. The Groovers. Now!

What, what about your car?

You're drinking it. Come on. Dorman.

- Whoo! Alright! - Dorman, get Lester.

You sold your car to throw a party?

But you didn't even graduate! What is this?

A farewell fandango for the Groovers!

Turn out the lights when you leave.

Innocent critters squashed

on the highway of life!

♪ It's getting late Have you seen my mates? ♪

♪ Ma tell me when the boys get here ♪

♪ It's seven o'clock and I wanna rock ♪

♪ Wanna get a belly full of beer ♪

♪ My old man's a drunker than a barrel full of monkeys ♪

♪ And my old lady she don't care ♪

♪ My sister looks cute in her braces and boots ♪

♪ A handful of grease in her hair ♪

♪ Oh don't give us none of your aggravation ♪

♪ We had it with your discipline ♪

♪ Oh Saturday night's alright for fighting ♪

♪ Get a little action in ♪

♪ Get about as oiled as a diesel train ♪

♪ Gonna set this dance alight ♪

♪ 'Cause Saturday night's the night I like ♪

♪ Saturday night's alright alright alright ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Well they're packed pretty tight in here tonight ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a dolly who'll see me right ♪

♪ I may use a little muscle to get what I need ♪

♪ I may sink a little drink and shout out she's with me ♪

♪ A couple of the sounds that I really like ♪

♪ Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike ♪

♪ I'm a juvenile product of the working class ♪

♪ Whose best friend floats in the bottom of a glass ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Don't give us none of your aggravation ♪

♪ We had it with your discipline ♪

♪ Saturday night's alright for fighting ♪

♪ Get a little action in ♪

♪ Get about as oiled as a diesel train ♪

♪ Gonna set this dance alight ♪

♪ 'Cause Saturday night's the night I like ♪

♪ Saturday night's alright alright alright ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Saturday Saturday Saturday ♪

♪ Saturday Saturday Saturday ♪

♪ Saturday Saturday Saturday night's alright ♪

♪ Saturday Saturday Saturday ♪♪

♪ Picante Como se llama Yo mama ♪

Tough it out, son. Tough it out.

Well, now, what do you boys want for breakfast? Barbecue?

Okay, chili.

Drafted, graduated,

disengaged.

Guess y'all know what this means, don't you?

We got to dig up Dom.

Open up, Philip.

You're not taking my car to Mexico.

Well, Dom's not in Mexico, son. He's on the border.

I know where he is.

Philip, do you mean to tell me that you'd let Dom

stay buried out there in that desert for a century,

a damn fossil for some post-historic nerd to find?

No, I mean to tell you that

we're not driving 400 miles in my car

just to go down there and dig him up.

But you swore you would, son. We all did.

Took a holy Groover oath. Remember?

Come one, Phil, we're dog meat.

This could be our last chance ever.

He's right, Philip, we're facing, we're facing

combat and questionable life spans.

You know, Philip, it's not like we're going after

some nameless piece of trash alongside the road. No, sir.

We're going after Dom, Philip, a dear bud we laid to rest

the very night the Groovers were born, is all I'm talking about.

Bonds and beers and the five of us, Philip,

driving down that long, lonesome highway.

I'm talking, talking about us

reliving the greatest chapter in Groover history.

Don't that mean something to you?

Ah...

Look, we had our fling, and it was fun, okay?

But we gotta get to Dallas by tomorrow night for his wedding.

Read my lips, Philip, okay?

He's not getting married.

He didn't back out yet.

Did you?

What'd she say?

Nothing. She wasn't home.

What?

She was at a kitchen shower, so I told her dad.

You called off your wedding

after talking to her dad?

Well, now that we got that out of the way, can we get going?

- Gardner, we gotta help him. - Philip...

I'm just as concerned about this as you are.

I mean, I spent $18 for this tux.

But it's done, son. It wasn't meant to be.

And Dom is waiting.

- Over, rover! - Ow! Uh...

Come on! Watch out!

We have to report to boot camp on Monday night!

Well, we'll be back tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night? We were gone a week the first time.

Flukes, Philip, Groovers got to expect

that kind of stuff every once in a while.

Hey! How about margaritas at Chata Ortega's?

We can see the donkey lady!

We could get diseases.

I swear, Philip, I don't know

why we bring you along sometimes.

It's my car, it's my money.

You know, next time we stop, may be I can get out and call Deb.

You know, just to sort of tell her in person.

She's been told, Waggener.

Just let it ride, son.

Give it a few weeks. Then write her.

♪ Too late baby now it's too late though we really did ♪

You ever have any regrets?

About what?

♪ Inside has died and I can't ♪

Certain women.

♪ Just can't fake it oh ♪

I never been serious about a woman in my life, son.

You know that.

♪ It used to be so easy livin' here with you ♪

♪ You were light and breezy and I knew just what to do ♪

♪ Now you look so unhappy and I feel like a fool ♪

♪ And it's too late baby now it's too late ♪

♪ Though we really did try to make it ♪

♪ Somethin' inside has ♪♪

That's dirt, son. There's no highway through here.

Dotted line means dirt.

I thought it meant shortcut.

You know what E means? Do you know what E means?

It means empty, douchebag! Like your head!

Well, I guess I'm just not officer material.

I guess not.

Where are we?

The ass of nowhere.

Give Lester a beer.

He doesn't need another beer.

The boy's facing life as an accountant.

He needs something.

I can't believe I let you talk me into this. This is stupid!

It's the stuff legends are made of, son.

What time's the wedding?

Texas is really ugly, you know that?

I mean, what could anyone

possibly like about this state?

I like the way it's shaped.

It's wild, Philip. Always has been, always will be.

- Just like us. - Ha!

Ha! Ho-ho-ho! Ho!

Can you imagine coming all the way out here

just to get killed?

You having second thoughts?

Yeah, I believe I burned all my bridges.

Well, buck up, bud,

because I think you did the right thing.

Yeah, that's what her father said on the phone.

"You're doing the right thing, Kenneth."

"I'm behind you all the way."

Always been in front of me till then.

Waggener, she's history, alright? She's history.

And the only way to get over a woman, unfortunately,

is you gotta get yourself another one.

So when Dom's dug up and our duty's done,

you and me, we gonna slide into Chata Ortega's and we are gonna

destroy a few brain cells and hunt up some horn-dog wom--

I mean, the guy's rich, Gardner. He could have made some calls.

Why should he?

It's your duty.

Yeah, well, I'm proud to be going.

- I am. - Aren't we all?

That's a train, boys!

Hey!

You, off the car!

Get off my car!

- Come on. We can hop it. - What?

Nothing's come down that road for two hours.

- You got any better idea? - What about my car?

Let's... We'll pick it up on the way back.

- Forget it! I know you. - Come on!

- Ugh! - Look, Philip.

This might be the only ride we get, so lighten up and we--

We're not leaving my car, and that's final.

Gardner, talk to me. Talk to me.

It's possible I got vapor lock on my brain,

but I just need to know, are you crazy?

Are you out of your mind?

It'll work, Philip.

You think this is a wise move?

Wait. I mean, it's a train.

Think! Think! Don't be big and stupid.

- Come on. - Gardner, Gardner.

Show some sense.

Oh, great. Great.

Yeah, Dorman!

Get the wheels straight.

That's a felony, you know that?

Yes.

We're all gonna die!

Didn't you hear me? I said we're facing imminent death!

It'll be just like water-skiing, Philip.

- Water-skiing? - Get in!

He did it. Run, son!

- Brake off? - Yeah.

- Neutral? - Check.

- I don't believe this! - It'll work, Philip.

Dorman, run!

Hurry!

Do you know how many pizzas I had to make to buy this car?

Hey.

How are we gonna stop?

First phone we get to, I'm calling the police.

Philip, can't let a little thing

like this stop the damn pilgrimage.

Sorry. We're getting off here.

That car's afflicted.

No, it just needs a little alignment hygiene.

Well, I hope y'all ain't in no hurry.

I can't fix it till in the morning.

- How come? - Because it's Saturday night.

My mechanic's gone honky-tonking.

My tools is in his truck.

Sorry, boys. A night in Marfa ain't so bad.

Motel's over there.

If you're looking for cheaper bunks,

there is a roadside park just up the highway.

Out by the old movie set where they shot "Giant."

- James Dean was here? - Yeah.

1955.

Listen, front-end alignment will run you 11.95.

Want me to do anything about that?

Yeah, if it's free.

I'll get you out of here early as I can tomorrow.

Better hurry if you want supper. Dairy Queen closes at 8:00.

May I take your order, please?

Give me three chili dogs and a malt.

♪ In the cool of the evening ♪

♪ When everything is gettin' kind of groovy ♪

♪ I call you up and ask you ♪

♪ If you like to go with me and see a movie ♪

♪ First you say no you've got some plans for the night" ♪

♪ And then you stop and say alright ♪

♪ Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you ♪

♪ You always keep me guessin' ♪

♪ I never seem to know what you are thinkin' ♪

♪ And if a fellow looks at you ♪

♪ It's for sure your little eye will be a-winkin' ♪

♪ I get confused 'cause I don't know where I stand ♪

♪ And then you smile and hold my hand ♪

♪ Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you ♪

♪ Spooky ♪♪

Come on now, this is what we've been waiting for.

It's not the same, Gardner.

- What's not? - They're jailbait.

Well, that never stopped us before.

We were jailbait before.

They're airheads, Gardner. Bimbos.

Little girls with little brains.

But we're not trying to expand their minds, Philip,

so don't get picky on me.

And so then, right after she had the baby,

they had to remove her utopian tubes.

No, no. No. That's fallopian, darling.

Fallopian? Those are books of the Bible, silly.

First and Second Fallopians.

So what do y'all wanna do now?

- Are you 18? - Oh, I know.

Let's shoot fireworks.

Oh! That is so neat! Would...

Would y'all like to do that, huh?

Well, only if it's neat.

We got tons of bottle rockets

left over from Christmas.

We just gonna pull off the road or what?

No. I think we'll go to my daddy's place.

Just, uh, what exactly

does your daddy do, Lorna, darling?

He's in the funeral business.

This is his cemetery.

Come on, y'all. Come on.

Come on. You'll get used to it.

Can't we just find a playground or something?

This has been my playground ever since I can remember.

See?

Lots of places to hide.

I ain't gonna ask what we're hiding from.

From each other.

It's no fun shooting rockets off in the air.

You gotta have moving targets.

Well, ain't that just a tad dangerous?

No. It's so neat!

- We'll choose up sides. - Okay.

Okay, me and Waggener and Phil.

Okay, y'all guys take the Garden of the Good Shepherd

and the Garden of Bliss, we'll go count to 100

while you hide, and then we'll come after you.

And no aiming for the face, and be real careful

'cause these things could go off and hurt somebody.

Come on! Oh!

We started!

- Gardner. - Come on, Gardner!

- Whoa! - Get Phil!

- Whoa! - Get him!

- No! - Ha-ha-ha...

Ha-ha...

Watch out!

Yeah!

Let's go, let's go.

Okay. Come on. God!

Hey, y'all watch out for those new graves.

They're not packed down yet.

These stiffs got no manners at all.

Sorry, friend.

Ah!

I'm not sure I can do it, Gardner.

I'm not sure I can go.

Then don't.

It's not quite what I expected.

They shot "Giant" here?

Can you imagine?

James Dean walking around right out here.

Pass me the classifieds there, would you, bud?

All that ink's bound to be warm.

Great. This is the worst.

This is the worst ever.

Now, if it would just rain...

See that star?

Off that peak?

That was our star.

Me and Deb.

To talk to when we were apart.

Quit it.

I wonder if the night's like this in Nam.

You'll find out soon enough.

Looking forward to it, ain't you, Philip?

To serving my country? Yeah. I am.

There are other countries, you know?

What?

There's Canada.

You are the most irresponsible person I have ever met.

Well, somebody had to be.

Ah! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Snake! Snake!

- Snake. It's in my pants. - What?

- Snake. - Don't rile him up, Philip.

Damn. It-- it's a snake. Oh...

- Well, what kind is it? - It's a rattler.

It's moving! It's moving. Oh...

A lizard.

Well, it felt like a snake.

No, no. It felt, felt like a rattler.

God, I was having a nightmare!

Well, get used to them.

Alright, 20, 21,

22, 23 and 50.

And five for the go-juice.

And much obliged for that body job. That is first-rate work.

The other way, bud. Remember?

It's lefty loosey, righty tighty.

Another hundred miles and we're there, boys!

Dom. Ortega's.

- How about some breakfast? - Where'd you get the money?

The birthday present from the girls.

It's not your birthday.

- Yeah, well, it's gonna be. - You stole that money.

Just like you stole my car.

What is your problem?

I mean, here we are, embarked on what is probably

the greatest epic adventure of all time, and all you can do--

Nobody cares about epic adventures anymore.

Philip, we...

We came out here to try and forget some things. Alright?

So why won't you let us?

And there's nothing wrong with going nowhere, son.

It's, it's, it's a privilege of youth.

Well, we're not youths anymore, Peter Pan.

You're only 18 once.

Like you're only a virgin once, and then it's over.

Like the Groovers.

Well, I sort of like to think of us as an institution, bud.

Over!

You know, some-- someday, Philip, when you're old...

Hey.

Hey, hey, where are you going? I'm, I'm not even rinsed off!

- No more quarters. - God!

I think you're trash, Gardner.

I think you're slime.

Selfish, worthless, irresponsible slime!

What do you think about that?

I think freedom of expression's a wonderful thing.

Oh! Turn my car around now!

You're a bullshit artist.

And that's all you're ever gonna be 'cause when life gets

too complicated, you just take off, run away!

Well, make the most of this one, asshole,

'cause it's the last time you're gonna push me around.

Find some other jerk and go

chasing after rainbows and chasing after--

Will you shut up? Just shut up! God, I'm sick of your mouth!

Nobody made you come on this trip, you pompous little whiner.

Just like nobody made you room with us for four years!

You wanted to.

But it's always bitch, bitch, bitch

about Dom or dinner or whatever, 'cause that's all

you're good at! Well, I'm sick of hearing it.

You're a pain-in-the-ass fellow who doesn't like anything.

So either kill yourself and do us all a favor,

or shut the hell up!

I guess I should have expected as much

from a guy who chickens out on his own wedding.

That's right, coward.

It wasn't the draft. It wasn't her parents.

You just got scared and ran off like him.

And now you're down here pretending

all this crap is still fun!

Afraid to admit that she was the best thing

that ever happened to you because deep down inside,

you know you blew it!

You little wimp, I had to! Don't tell me...

- Take the wheel. - No, you bastard!

Goddammit!

- Philip! - Come on. Come here.

- Quiet. Quit it! - Stop it.

- Quit it. - Ah! Ugh!

That's it, Philip. Now that's it. You win.

We're going home.

Thanks to you, Dom don't mean shit anymore.

Dom never meant shit.

You know, Philip, you talk tough, you act tough,

you march a bunch of weenies around a... field,

but the fact of the matter is, son, you are an ROTC colonel

because that's all you ever could be.

And now look at you,

anxious to run off and get yourself martyred,

hoping somebody's gonna love you for it.

You're pathetic, Philip.

I don't know how else to say it. You're just pathetic.

And that is the only reason

any of us ever had anything to do with you.

We never really liked you, son.

We just felt sorry for ya.

I'm, I'm not a weenie.

Dorman, turn us around.

We gotta get this little weenie back

to his stupid little, worthless war.

Now you listen to me!

Not everyone gets a college education

just handed to 'em, you know?

That uniform is my ticket to some kind of a future.

And I'm giving my notice right now.

I'll take on anybody, anything,

anywhere, anytime...

Well, Philip.

O... Okay.

I'd have done it if we had the money.

You looking for something?

Yes, I am.

I'm, uh, looking for the head jumping bean.

Some guys are looking for you.

Oh-ho, good morning to you. Good morning to you.

Quite a day for jumping, isn't it? Gardner Barnes.

Your name, sir?

Uh, Truman Sparks.

Well, it's nice to meet you, Truman.

Your wife tells me that you're in charge around here.

Oh, no. She ain't my wife.

She... Trelis is just my old lady.

- You know? - Yeah.

Well, Truman, you ever heard

of the "Milwaukee Daily Moon?"

Well, these gentlemen and I are on the travel

and entertainment staff of that illustrious newspaper

and we are in the midst of a research tour.

Our action-adventure editor over there, Mr. Hicks,

well, he wants to take a jump course today

so he can accurately depict the delights of skydiving

of Wild West in his column.

Hey, far out. He wants to do that today?

No, sir. He wants to do it right now.

And this is gonna be in a paper?

Truman, we are talking

big dollars. Big dollars.

In fact, you think any of this land here

could be available for resort development?

- R-resort? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lot of potential. Lot of potential.

And since this, uh, series gonna be a free Godsend

to the local economy, we are hoping maybe that you could,

uh, reciprocate a little on the lesson.

- Truman. - Huh?

- On the lesson. - Oh. Hey, yeah.

No, no problem. We'll work something out.

Not gonna be a problem? Good.

- Then let's get to it. - Okay.

- Mr. Burns. - Out you go!

Okay, field marshal, let's go.

He's scared of heights, remember?

Well, most weenies are.

Ah!

Hey, pretty excited, isn't he?

Oh, the man absolutely thrives on danger.

Now listen, we need to counsel with him for a minute

about his editorial approach.

So why don't you go on inside,

you get things strung up, alright?

We'll be in right after you, okay?

Okay.

Let him up, Dorman.

Pretty mean, aren't you, Phil? Pretty mean character.

Well, prove it.

Alright, I will.

- But on one condition. - Anything you say, weenie.

No, you've got to swear it, in case I'm not here.

- Consider it sworn. - Me, too.

If I do this, you got to swear you won't dodge the draft.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You gotta swear you won't

skip off to Mexico with him!

Okay.

I know you better than you think.

- Let's do it. - Hey, real gung-ho, huh?

Oh, he can hardly wait to get started, can he?

Okay, Mr. X, come on in, sign a release, and we'll go for it.

A re... A release?

Yeah, just the form says

you won't sue me if you get killed.

What?

Okay, now you'll be coming out here and you'll be doing

a stable fall facedown, frog-modified.

Now out here comes the static line 'cause

it goes, like, from this to here, see?

And as the pilot chute will open, and it'll pull

the bridle out, then the main canopy will be open,

see, because they're all connected.

And then you'll be down here and you'll be

looking up here for the WDI indicator.

And you're also gonna check for Mae West.

And if that's not there, then you need to check here

for four panels and a hole.

Then when you come down, you're gonna find the P, you're gonna

land over here and you're gonna get in this position,

except, you don't wanna do that

because that means you're in trouble.

So what you wanna do is you wanna get right here

and then you're gonna come around here and you're gonna

fold up and you're gonna do a toggle and jettison.

And always watch the horizon, okay?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. No.

No. Hold it. Hold. You screwed up again, man.

You gotta stay clear of this static line, dude,

or, or you're gonna get your head tore off.

Okay, now this time I want you to go ahead

and jump off the strut and arch back onto this mattress.

Yeah, right. A good, hard arch. Okay?

Let's do it one more time like I showed you.

Okay, you're inside the plane. I cut the engine.

You reach your hands outside the door.

Step out on the wheel, dangle a foot and arch!

Arch! Arch! Arch!

Arch!

Oh, wow, he, uh, he missed the mattress.

You guys might wanna help him adjust the straps a little.

Ah...

Now the chances of having a malfunction

are one in a thousand, Mr. Hicks.

It's only, like, one in a thousand.

So I-- I don't even want you worrying about it.

See, I used to rig chutes in Nam, man.

And I repack these babies every week.

So, I mean, even if something should go wrong with your

main chute, you still got the old belly reserve here.

So, you know, you get two shots at that mother, right?

- That's right. - Okay, now.

We're gonna go through it like I showed you.

Now you're out on the wing and you're looking at me. Here.

Come on. You're looking at me and I give you the signal to go!

Oh, good, well, now you're arching like crazy and you're

counting, it's a 1001. It's a 1002. There's nothing happening!

When you get to six, you look up over your shoulder.

It's a screamer! It's a screamer! Cut away! Cut away!

Uh, pull the D rings! Oh, God! Oh, shit!

Forgot, you're gonna burn in. Tuck and cover!

Tuck and cover! Hit the reserve! Hit it! Look out!

You're gonna burn in, man. Come on!

Look out! Here comes the ground! Let it go!

Oh, oh...

Uh, you gotta be cool, dude.

Now you do that in the real thing, and you're gonna bounce.

- Bounce? - Oh, yeah.

You see, when, when somebody makes the big drop,

they don't really spatter, they just, they just kind of

bounce, like, about ten feet.

All around here, you don't 'cause the,

the landing zone's real soft.

I, although I did know one case where a guy

left a crater, kind of like a meteorite.

Did he burn when he entered the atmosphere?

Oh, no. I-- I don't think so.

Okay. He's got this down. We ready to suit him up?

Oh, sure thing, Mr. Burns.

Test one.

Test two.

Okay, you're all set, man.

I'll be talking you down on this thing.

Hey, is something the matter, dude?

Okay, look, if it'll make it easier, I, I'll take a chute out

and jump first so as you can watch how it's done.

Oh.

Oh, God. What a space cadet I am, huh?

Well, I can't do that.

I-- if I do that, who's gonna land the plane?

Oh, God.

That was a joke, son. It was a, it was a bad joke.

There she is.

What a beaut.

Yeah, I painted her myself.

Slow year, huh?

- Looks fast, Truman. - Yeah. It's the stripes.

- Yeah. Well, I like those, man. - Trelis painted those.

She's real talented. Watch your heads now.

We don't need that.

Oh, hi, Hazel. No, no flight today.

Oh, say, Truman, I ain't sure,

but I think I just hurt your plane.

Oh! Oh, no, man. Don't worry.

That thing's coming off all the time.

You know, I'm always meaning to fix this thing.

I just never have the time, you know?

There we go. That baby's as good as new.

Mr. Hicks!

Oh, here he is.

There he is.

- You all set? - Oh, he's raring to go.

Oh. Hey, uh...

How come you guys ain't writing any of this stuff down?

That's a good point, Truman.

You take good notes, Philip.

Hop in, dude.

That's one small step for a Groover, boys!

One giant leap for weenie-kind!

Whoo!

There he is, boys!

I think he's really gonna do it.

Ain't this fine?

Vicarious entertainment.

Courtesy of Phil Hicks, weenie extraordinaire.

Oh, that Phil, he's something.

Hey!

Which one of you geeks grabbed the wrong chute?

Who's got my laundry?

I guess you do this kind of stuff all the time, huh,

being an action-adventure editor and all.

Hey, hey did you ever spearfish for sharks, man?

It must be a real rush, huh? Just...

Just you and a great white, one-on-one.

What do you mean he doesn't have a radio on the plane?

He never needed one before.

Well, that's against the law, ain't it?

Trelis, honey, listen to me, listen to me.

You don't understand. We gotta get him down.

We gotta get him down.

- We gotta stop him, Trelis. - Quit worrying.

He's got one good chute and my laundry.

You think he's gonna remember any of that emergency stuff?

- Would you? - Oh, God Almighty.

We gotta stop him, boys. We gotta stop him.

We gotta, we gotta do something. We gotta send him a signal.

- How, smoke signals? - Burn his car.

No, no! Something else. Something else.

I got it! I-- I got it.

We'll, we'll spell "Don't jump" on the ground.

With what?

Hey, you don't mind if I fire up, do you?

You know, you might wanna take a couple of hits in

before you go out the door.

It makes the trip down real interesting.

Quick, son. We need you to be an apostrophe.

No, no, no! It's not gonna work!

It's too small! It's too small. He's not gonna understand it.

- Well, we're out of clothes. - Come on, Gardner, think!

Come here, boys!

You know, there aren't many dudes

left around who'll go for it.

I mean, that's what it's all about, isn't it?

I mean, it's like the man said,

"It's better to go like this than in some senseless tragedy."

I mean, I'd rather burn in at 200 miles an hour

and have some laughs than to eat it in a car accident.

I mean, that's a really dumb way to go.

Oh! Hey, I got to tell you about my dream!

You're gonna get into this, man. This is great! No, really.

You see, like the one thing I wanna do before I join

the cosmos is to hang-glide off of Mount Everest. Yeah.

But wait, this is the best part. It's naked!

Yeah, man.

♪ Born to be wild ♪♪

Yeah, we're almost there, buddy. The drop zone's dead ahead.

Hey, man, what a drag.

Oh, look, boys, plane's coming.

I mean, where do you guys get off?

Biodegradable soap don't come cheap, you know?

Hey, look. Hey, your buddies wrote you some kind of message.

This is great!

Like, it's not enough you already botched one load, huh?

You guys are totally uncool.

My flour!

What a pisser!

"Go on."

Hey, those guys don't let up, do they? Here, take a look.

- Whoa! Oh! - Ah...

He's coming, you guys! He's coming!

I don't know what you guys are on, but you can't handle it.

Uh, ma'am. Uh, wait. Ma'am, no.

- No, Trelis. - No, ma'am. Whoa.

- We're gonna need that. - Trelis, no, wait.

Ma'am, wait.

Okay, man. Get ready!

Just keep your distance, Mac.

Ma'am, we need that laundry just a few more minutes.

Listen, I ain't kinky. I ain't into that stuff.

Okay, dude, out you go!

Remember, I wanna see a good, hard arch!

What am I doing out here?

Go!

Whoa!

Hey, man, you gotta let go!

Don't get sick, man. I, I can't land with you like that!

Sorry, dude!

A whole washday shot to hell.

Wow, what a bummer.

Hey, Mr. Hicks, guess what!

Uh, don't get upset, man, but there's something

I gotta tell you.

Uh, your parachute didn't open, man!

Mr. Hicks!

Please, sweet Jesus, make his brain work.

Hit the reserve, son. Hit it.

Mr. Hicks? Hey, listen, dude.

If you're into playing it close, that's cool,

but we're talking mega malfunction here.

Can you hear me, Mr. Hicks?

Come on, Phil! Hit it!

Why don't you turn your volume up just a tad?

I said, your parachute didn't open, man!

What?

Okay, dude, no problem. Just, just wanted to keep you posted.

Now, why don't we pull on that old reserve, huh?

It's on your belly, man.

It's a silver handle on your belly.

Your stomach. Your tum-tum.

Pull the handle on your stomach!

Pull the handle on your stomach!

Pull the handle on your stomach!

- Philip! - Whoo-hoo!

- Yeah. - Whoo-hoo!

Oh, hey! Alright! Way to go, Mr. Hicks!

Now get those legs together and get ready to land!

- Yes! - Whoo-hoo! Hoo!

Alright! Yeah!

- Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Alright! - Whoo-hoo!

- Whoo-hoo! Yeah! - Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

- Ha-ha-ha... - Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

- Yeah, son! - I knew you would make it.

- Whoo-hoo! - You made it, son! You made it.

Yes, you did. Philip. Listen to me, son.

Philip, I didn't mean a word of it. Not a word.

Way to go, Mr. Hicks!

That's a great recovery, man. I wanna shake your hand.

Say, he's got a pretty good grip on that thing, doesn't he?

Wake up, son. Wake up. It's all over.

Philip, forgive us.

We'll never badmouth you again, bud.

Angels!

No, son, it's us! You made it! You're alive!

And you're going down in the annals

of Grooverdom for this one, bud.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Yeah!

Ho-- ho-- hold on. Wait a minute. Hold it right there.

You get a free picture with your first jump.

Okay.

Oh, listen, uh, I hope

you guys ain't gonna be too sore about this little screw-up.

Oh, no, no, no. Accidents will happen, Truman.

Yeah, well, see, I, I don't wanna get no bad press

or nothing.

Okay, hold it, hold it.

I think you're gonna like this one.

You're gonna wear that thing out looking at it so much, Philip.

Weenies are like that.

Thanks for letting us finish this thing.

It's the last one.

How far is the border?

Oh, it's about three-four miles that a-way.

Think he's still there? Dom?

Yeah. It don't all change.

This place did.

Remember when you were 16, 17, looking ahead?

How you knew the next couple of years, they'd be great?

Just knew it.

I don't feel that way no more.

I'm not going with you, Gardner.

I swore.

I know.

How about you? What's after Mexico?

I ain't too worried about that.

You know, you could request a duty assignment in Germany.

We got a lot of bases there.

Maybe I could help you out.

Well, thank you, bud,

but, uh, I just can't chance that.

Anyway, you know me, gotta roam, gotta bird-dog,

gotta cross females and fences.

And if you'd all just come with me, you'd see.

Well, then...

let's go dig that rascal up.

That's it.

Hello, bud.

Ah...

Here's to us, by God!

To us and that

and privileges of youth!

Here's to us and what we were.

And what we'll be.

And what we'll be.

Was it worth it?

Yeah. It-- it was.

No, it wasn't.

I blew it.

Goddammit, she loved me, and I blew it.

Maybe it never would have worked, but at least

I should have tried.

I should have tried! Goddammit, I blew it!

You ever been in love, Philip?

- I don't know. - Of course you know.

You ever, you ever thought you loved a woman, you loved her.

That's all love is, mostly.

Thoughts.

Help me here. This boy's got to get married.

- Yeah? Yes? - Well, of course she said yes.

It was me proposing for him, wasn't it?

- Was she mad? - It's okay.

I blamed it all on you.

- What? - Philip, it's okay.

- I think she knows better, son. - Okay.

Alright, now, for once in your life,

for once, for once in your life, just do what I tell you to do

and we might pull this thing off.

- Yes, sir. - Okay.

Okay, are we gonna take him to Dallas?

No.

Her family'd kill him. Besides, it'd be boring.

- Yeah. - She's gotta come here.

How?

Give me that dime.

There's only one human being that can do it on time.

♪ Get your motor runnin' ♪

♪ Head out on the highway ♪

♪ Looking for adventure ♪

I-35 to loop 635,

uh, south to Band-Aid.

Band-Aid?

♪ Take the world in a love embrace ♪

♪ Fire all of your guns at once and explode into space ♪

♪ I like smoke and lightnin' ♪

♪ Heavy metal thunder ♪

Oh. Oh, Cleveland.

♪ And the feeling that I'm under ♪

You. Hey, you! Yeah.

Terminate that flight path immediately

and follow me into Love Field.

Now! I'm not telling you twice.

♪ Explode into space ♪

♪ Like a true nature's child ♪

♪ We were born born to be wild ♪

♪ We can climb so high ♪

♪ I never wanna die ♪♪

What are you doing?

Us? Oh, we're just setting up for a wedding reception.

- Here? - Yup. A big one, too.

Champagne, roast duck, the works.

In fact, catering trucks ought to be here any minute.

You feel free to stick around now.

There gonna be plenty for everybody.

Oh! Napkins.

I forgot to order the napkins.

You know, it's always something.

Hell, I got napkins.

Do you?

♪ Get your motor runnin' ♪

♪ Head out on the highway ♪♪

Hello?

Who? Just a moment.

Are you Mr. Barnes?

- Well, yes, I am. - Telephone.

Thank you, sir.

Hello? Yes. Yes.

Oh, no. No.

Well, well, how am I supposed to--

- Talk about your rotten luck. - What happened?

No champagne. Truck flipped over in Fort Stockton.

Broke every damn bottle.

What'll we drink?

Say, you all drink beer?

Well, yes. On occasion.

- Hi there. - Hi.

- You mind if I cut in? - Sure.

Thanks a lot.

Lord, I wish we'd ordered beans instead of caviar.

I'll go right home and fix a batch.

- You don't have to. - No problem. No problem.

I hope they're bringing a lot of tables on that catering truck.

There's a slew of tables at the schoolhouse.

Well, I wonder if we might borrow a few, just in case.

I reckon. My son is principal.

Say, you looking for me?

Ed. The butcher.

Oh. Ed, this is so embarrassing.

No, sir, never do it, never cater another party

with those people, I tell you.

You folks are so kind.

- Why, thank you. - You're welcome.

We lost the band!

Mayor.

Yeah, I heard.

That's a shame.

You know, there's some fellas here in town

that can really cut a mean--

Well, the hell of it is the band

was bringing the decorations, too.

See, they were bringing our tree lights.

- Everything. - Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry you had to hook those extensions up for nothing.

This thing was coming together so nice too.

Hm. Well, tree lights, huh? Hm.

Waggener. Waggener.

Wake up.

Get handsome.

Truman, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

No, look, I-- I owed you one, Mr. Burns.

And here she is.

Don't I know you?

You used to.

Thanks.

Here. Best man's got to dance, too, you know?

Hey! How about a fandango?

Keep it.

Have fun!

Where's Gardner? Where's Gardner?

He's not here.

Well, listen,

I'm gonna try and catch a ride with somebody.

It's been real.

Call me sometime. Arthur Andersen in Dallas.

Gardner didn't say goodbye.

Neither will I.

Dorman?

Goodbye, friend.

Have a nice life.

♪ Come down off your throne and leave your body alone ♪

♪ Somebody must change ♪

♪ You are the reason I've been waiting so long ♪

♪ Somebody holds the key ♪

♪ Well I'm near the end ♪

♪ And I just ain't got the time ♪

♪ And I'm wasted and I can't find my way home ♪

♪ Come down on your own and leave your body alone ♪

♪ Somebody must change ♪

♪ You are the reason I've been waiting all these years ♪

♪ Somebody holds the key ♪

♪ Well I'm near the end ♪

♪ And I just ain't got the time ♪

♪ Oh and I'm wasted ♪

♪ And I can't find my way home ♪

♪ But I can't find my way home ♪

♪ But I can't find my way home ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ But I can't find my way home ♪

♪ But I can't find my way home ♪

♪ Still I can't find my way home ♪

♪ And I ain't done nothing wrong ♪

♪ But I can't find my way home ♪♪