Original subtitles

- Don't eat the cereal - out of the box.

- It's soy milk.

Whoa.

Cool motorcycle for sale.

- The good boy in me says, - "look away,"

But the bad boy in me says,

"hello."

- You know what?

I bet if we all pitched in,

we could buy it

and have the big-time ride

of our lives.

- Are you out of your mind?

If I ever see any of you

even think about getting

a motorcycle, I will...

- ? Make it count, - play it straight ?

- ? don't look back, - don't hesitate ?

- ? what you want, - what you feel ?

- ? never quit - and make it real ?

? If you want it all,

lay it on the line ?

? it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ?

- Ah!

- And the mama's boy in me says,

"run!"

- And you...

Put the helmet back.

- James?

Did you get a motorcycle?

- I, uh...

- I love motorcycles.

And that is one killer bike.

- Yep.

It's my hog.

- Huh.

I never pegged you

for the biker type.

- I guess there is more to - James diamond than I thought.

Oh, yeah.

We are gonna buy

the cool motorcycle.

- Sorry, b.B.

You guys are too late.

Hi, this is James diamond.

Yes, I'd like to buy your hog.

- Okay, mom said for us to put

all the groceries away.

And then...

You will pay for that!

- Hey. - I need your help.

- Anything you want, - you got it.

- I need you to teach me - how to drive a stick shift

For my role in

the Danica Patrick movie.

- I play a young Danica - before she does bad commercials.

- Oh. - Cool.

- No. - Why not?

- Because every time we try

and teach each other something,

we end up fighting.

A lot.

- No, we don't.

- Ow! - It's just over and under.

- This is so stupid. - Over and under!

- Men aren't supposed - to braid hair anyway!

- Ow!

- Well, that's not gonna happen - this time because...

It won't.

- Besides, the only car I know - that has a stick shift

Is Gustavo's.

- And if we so much as get - a scratch on it,

He would kill me.

- Well, I want to do this - race car movie

- Because I'm sick of doing - zombie movies,

And you're my boyfriend!

- I won't do it.

- Hey, - did you overnight rush ship

A huge package from Minnesota?

- No!

- Well, according to this,

you signed and paid $938

for it.

- McConaughey!

An old red wagon?

Who did this?

- Both: - Wagonie!

- Wait... did you guys forge - Gustavo's signature

- And use the studio's - shipping number for this stuff?

- No. - Yes.

- What?

- Logan's mom said that she was - gonna throw his old wagon out,

- And I said that that was like - throwing out

Our greatest memories.

- Ooh, like that one time we - broke our arms

On broken arm hill.

- And the one time that we both - got mild concussions

On mild concussion curve.

- Yeah, and don't forget what - happened on butt-chapped...

- we get it.

- And we're gonna restore

this once-proud monster

of the midwest

and take it for one more

glorious ride.

Whoo.

- Wrong!

- Because you're not - in fifth grade anymore.

You're in a huge pop band.

- Now get this red piece of junk - out of my studio,

Warm up your voices,

and get in the booth!

- We want to fix up wagonie.

- Out!

- Okay.

- Oh, tell me you didn't buy - that motorcycle.

- Lucy's into it.

- Super bad idea.

Mom is ballistic about

motorcycles,

and this is gonna end

so badly.

I literally can't even imagine

how badly this is gonna end.

- No. This is gonna end with

Lucy giving me bike kisses.

Hide.

- Wow.

That is some suit.

- Yeah, well,

this is some bike.

- Hey, we should go for a ride - sometime.

- How about when I get back?

- Seriously you will?

I mean, uh...

Cool.

I'll be back around 2:00.

- Starting a relationship with - lies is never a good idea.

- No lies. - Pre-truths.

- Pre-what?

- I told Lucy the bike was mine, - when it wasn't,

Then I bought it.

Pre-truth.

- And what about that going - for a ride lie,

- Because you've never ridden - a motorcycle.

Because we have two hours

to learn.

- Keep the bike balanced

while placing the kickstand

in the ride position.

- Whoa!

- Ignition.

- Doesn't the car need to be on?

- No, because we are going

to practice

- using the stick shift so you get - a feel for the gears

And so you don't get a scratch

on Gustavo's car.

- Well, aren't you the smart

driving instructor.

- Okay, so first,

second,

third,

fourth,

and up and over for reverse.

- I like this driving lesson.

We get to hold hands

and not one fight.

- We make a great couple.

Use the clutch, not the brake!

- Kelly!

Have you seen my keys?

- I'm afraid to go in there.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo.

Cool noise, right?

- What is this?

- It's a wagonie restoring - super shop.

- I said no wagons!

- Gustavo,

as Logan and I

face the responsibility

and maturity of adulthood,

we've decided we don't want to.

- This is more than a red wagon.

It's a...

A time machine

- to take us back to the year - 2000-and-fun.

Whoo!

- Okay, tell me the studio - didn't pay for all of this too.

- It didn't.

- But it did.

- Well, if rocque records paid

for all of this,

then Gustavo rocque owns that,

and I'm taking it away.

- But...

- come on, really?

- Careful.

Well, there she goes.

- The last piece of our innocent

yet dangerous childhood.

- Now to second. - You're doing it again.

Yelling at me doesn't help.

You yell at me all the time.

You're gonna make me crash!

We are a terrible couple.

- No, we're not.

We just, you know, fight

a lot.

- Well, it hasn't been - a smooth ride lately,

And we're kind of stalled.

- And maybe we're feeling...

Neutral about things.

- So should we break up?

- I don't know.

Should we break up?

- But don't you feel like

- sometimes we're - moving backwards?

- We're not moving backwards.

We're just...

We're moving backwards.

We're moving backwards.

- The wheel is locked.

- Start the car. - Start the car.

Start the car.

- I'm trying to start the car.

Where is the emergency brake?

- You're gonna hit a pole!

- We're gonna scratch - Gustavo's car!

Pull the brake up!

- I'm trying to brake up!

- We got to brake up!

I think we just broke up.

- How to brake.

- Think I'm getting

the hang of it.

- So I've been trying to imagine - how this thing ends,

And here's what I got.

- Lucy gets on the bike, - you admit you can't ride,

- She laughs, - doesn't kiss you,

- And then my mom kills you - for buying a motorcycle.

- Or you actually go for a ride, - you crash,

She slaps you for lying,

- while on the ground badgers - arrive and eat your jacket,

And then my mom kills you

for buying a motorcycle.

- Not lying, - pre-truths,

- Because I still have time - to learn.

- Wrong again, because it's been - two hours,

And here comes Lucy.

- Wait. What?

- Hey.

I'm ready for that ride.

- Hey.

Yeah, about that ride...

- Let's go.

- Okay.

Let's go!

- Well, are we going or not?

- Uh, yeah...

Yeah... no, we're going.

I just... i need to check

the thing and, uh...

- James!

Those motorcycle parts

you ordered just came.

You know, the ones

to bore the heads

and increase the air fuel mix

for Max hog power?

- Oh, right!

Those parts.

- Oh.

So instead of 3.7 seconds,

I can take you from zero

to thrill in 1.5.

- A man who's good with tools.

Okay, Mr. Diamond.

I will wait for that ride.

- Whoo! Good thing I ordered - those parts.

- It's empty, genius.

- Right.

Hey, thanks for saving me.

- I didn't save you. - I saved her.

- And everyone else out there - from you.

And I figured out how

this is gonna end.

- You tell Lucy you had to sell - the bike

Because mom would kill you

if she found out

you bought a motorcycle.

- Fine. - I'll sell the bike.

Pre-truth.

- So this is what it's like

to be just friends.

- Yeah, it's a little weird.

- How about we order - separate popcorn?

- And I'll pay for my ticket.

- You know what?

- This might be the best breakup - ever.

- You know what else

just friends do?

- What?

- Teach each other how to drive - a stick shift

- So one can get a movie role - that's not a teen zombie movie.

- Of course.

And since we don't have all that

boyfriend/girlfriend pressure,

we won't fight.

- No fighting.

- Told you so!

- Doesn't help me when you yell!

- Stop the car! - Stop it!

- It stopped. - Just do it.

- And it's going!

- You're the worst just friend - ever!

- Ah!

- Okay, after the beat,

I need you guys to give me

a "yeah!"

Both:

Yeah.

- Okay, like it or not,

you are professionals,

and you have a job.

And instead of refinishing

an old red wagon,

we need to finish this album

and get ready to go on tour

all summer long.

Got it?

- We got it. - We got it.

- Count us down. - We'll get it this time.

- All right, let's try something - different.

- After the beat, - I'll go to the basement,

- You'll get me some coveralls - too,

And together we'll fix up

your stupid wagonie.

- Both: - Yeah!

- Yeah, somehow I imagined this

ending way worse than this.

- If you've got that - "for sale" sign,

- Don't even bringing it out, - missy,

Because this biker boy...

Ow!

Well, there goes my only shot

at getting a date with Lucy.

- If she dates you, - it should be the real James...

Who can be amazing,

by the way.

Not the lying biker James

who's a danger to society.

Ooh!

Are you selling the motorcycle?

- Yes.

- Give us a sec to get some cash - from the atm.

- And by atm, I mean - the coin-filled pillowcase

Under my hammock.

- Oh. - Hey, James.

So I was thinking about

that ride.

- Hey, Lucy, about that ride...

- Instead of just going

for a ride,

maybe you could, I don't know,

take me on a date on it.

- A date?

- Yeah.

You can drive me on the bike.

Out of sight.

Make you feel all right.

- Both: - Why, it's wagon lightning.

- You guys have no idea how all

of this stuff works, do you?

- Nope.

- Got any suggestions?

We did it!

Yeah!

- No, I did it.

You idiots have been singing

for the last two hours.

- Never mind that, - because it's time

To take the ride of our lives.

- And all it's missing

is a dangerous hill.

- But we're in the heart of L.A.

- Where are we gonna find - a hill?

- Down shift on the hill.

- You know, the more I think - about it,

The more this script stinks.

- Do the zombie movie.

- Well, I dated this girl once,

and we broke up,

but I still like her.

- Oh, that's a tough one.

Well, as your friend,

- I'd say it was a real stupid - move letting each other go,

- I say, "let's go."

- Hey, you're doing it. - You're driving a stick!

- And not a scratch on it.

- We should break up more often!

- No!

- Hey, Mrs. Knight.

I'm here to meet James.

- Oh.

- They're going on a date.

Their first date.

- Well, come in.

- Although I'm not really sure - where he is right now.

- Oh, I'm sure he's just - a little nervous

- But getting ready to get - the big night in gear.

- All right, diamond,

you got this.

Just, you know, drive around

the parking lot a couple times

and then pick up Lucy.

Okay.

Now to put it in gear...

- 7:00, - right on time.

- Yeah, the date's off.

- I knew I couldn't have - imagined

How bad this is gonna end.

I mean, who could

have predicted this?

- We must have gone up, what, - two flights of stairs

To pull this off?

- I'm gonna kill him!

- This is not a hill;

it's a parking garage.

- It's an L.A. hill. - Now push.

- No!

- There is no way you will make - that turn.

- Oh, you mean the parking lot

lamp pole pass?

- Besides, - crashing is the best park.

- Okay, one last ride,

and then we are going back

in the recording studio.

- You know, we'd get there - a lot faster if you...

- Both: - Give us a push!

- Fine.

- Carlitos, you ready? - Yeah!

- Three, two, one.

- Both: - Blast off!

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- Oh!

- Turn! Turn! - Next turn!

Whoo!

- We didn't crash!

Whoo!

- Both: - What was that?

- Hey, it's wagonie.

- Both: - Whoo-hoo!

- Is that my car?

- No.

Yes.

See you later.

- I hate you dogs!

- Not a scratch.

- Nope.

- Ahh!

- You're gonna pull a muscle.

- I'm running all the way back - to the palm woods.

- Get back here!

- Stay back!

I have to end the show!

Sorry we hit you

and crushed wagonie.

- Don't be sorry.

It was the greatest crash

of our lives.

- Wagonie would have wanted - to go out that way.

- And it looks like James

had an interesting ride.

- Don't worry.

Maintenance will be up shortly.

- Hey, so what did you end up - doing with that motorcycle?

- I made him sell it.

To who?

- ? Step it up, - get in gear ?

- ? go for broke, - make it clear ?

- ? make it work, - get it right ?

? Go and make your luck

with the life you choose ?

? if you want it all,

lay it on the line ?

? it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ?

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