Original subtitles

- Dogs, with the increased

boy band competition

and instant entertainment news,

it is more important than ever

to avoid bad press

and scandalous photo ops.

Like that!

- What? - We can't go jogging anymore?

- I'm competing against this! - This takes work!

- No!

- Because I want you guys - to think of ways

To get us good press

and back to the top!

- Ooh!

- How about "James diamond - dates Taylor swift"?

- Oh, how about... - Pbbt!

- 'Cause the last thing - big time rush needs right now

Is to get swifted.

- Swifted?

What is "swifted"?

- It's what you call it - whenever you date Taylor swift,

Do something stupid,

- then she writes a hit song - telling the entire world

That you're a total jerkface.

- Which will ruin

your sweet and cute reputation

and destroy the band!

- Got it.

- No jogging, - no Taylor swift,

And no scandals.

- You guys!

- Your old friend - Lucy stone

- Just came out - with her first cd,

- And everyone is raving - about it.

- Awesome! - Good for her. - That's awesome. - Great.

- Yeah, wait till you hear her

hot new single that dropped

you dumped me for her.

It's about how Kendall

dumped Lucy for Jo

and is a total jerkface!

- Oh, no.

I've been swifted.

- ? Make it count,

play it straight ?

- ? don't look back, - don't hesitate ?

- ? what you want, - what you feel ?

- ? never quit - and make it real ?

? If you want it all,

lay it on the line ?

? it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ?

? You kissed me

in an elevator ?

? then you said,

"see you later" ?

- Okay. - That song could be about anyone.

- Swifted?

Really?

- You couldn't go out - and punch old ladies instead?

- I'm telling you, the things

she said about me in this song

didn't happen.

Okay, here's what happened:

Whatever people think happened.

- This song

is gonna be huge.

And if people think that you

dumped america's new pop

Princess,

your fans are gonna dump you!

- Okay, we need to go find Lucy

right now and see if she's still

hurting and see if she'll go out

with me.

- Try again.

- Okay, we need to go find Lucy - right now

- And make sure she says the song - is not about Kendall.

- Okay, according to this, - she's at colossal studios today

- Casting for - her new music video...

Elevator kisses.

- Huh?

- Ah, move out!

- Okay! - Go, go, go, go, go!

- Let's go! - Come on, guys!

- Ahh!

Stop!

E! News...

TV, web,

and instant mobile update crews!

- How did they get here - so fast?

- Because they're the fastest - entertainment news team

In the world.

And I hate them!

- And I don't want you - talking to them

Until you talk to Lucy.

Now, take the back door!

- I'll go with him,

- 'cause I really want - to make out with Lucy.

- Hmm? - Try again.

- I'll go with him, - 'cause I work out,

- And I can help him - fight off the press.

- Come on! - You... oh!

- Don't worry, Gustavo.

I can handle these guys.

- Don't worry, Gustavo.

I can handle Carlos

- so he doesn't do - anything scandalous.

- All right! - Let's do this.

- Right.

- There they are! - Oh, oh, oh! There they are!

- Is Lucy stone's new single - about Kendall?

- Why is Kendall - such a jerkface?

- Is everybody in big time rush - a jerkface?

- We have no idea - why anyone would think

This song is about Kendall.

- Okay, okay, just stay here

and do nothing.

- He's a great dancer! - He's caring!

- He's very... he's very... - He smells good!

- Yeah. - He loves animals, okay?

- If he sees a cat, - he's gonna pet it.

- He's got a nice shoe size. - He... he's wholesome.

He's caring.

He loves his mother.

He loves my mother.

- Yeah, he's a good listener.

- He's, uh, kind. - He's responsible.

He's an upstanding citizen.

He can stand up...

Stands up all the time.

- Responsible!

- He is a friend - to the whales.

- You know, he got a... - A 650

- On the verbal section - of the...

- die!

- Carlos hits old ladies!

- Big time rush - are big time jerkfaces.

- Carlos is worse than Kendall!

- We have a story! - No!

- Not true at... at all... - Ugh!

- Bah!

Bah!

- I-I-I saw the whole thing!

He never touched her!

- I was just - swatting a bee away.

- It's okay.

- They are gonna look - at the footage

- And realize that - you were just helping her,

Not hitting her.

Right?

- Tonight on e!,

- big time rush's - Carlos Garcia...

Slaps a granny?

- Don't miss the shocking details - tonight at 8:00.

- You know, that does look like - he's hitting her.

I think!

- Why are we at the palm woods?

- Pretty sure Lucy - is not casting her music video

In the lobby.

- Because first - Jo needs to hear

That the lyrics

from Lucy's song

- "he said he's glad she's gone - and I'm his Ms. Moving on"

Did not come from these lips!

- Hey! - I just heard Lucy's new song.

- And you're mad.

Here.

- Yeah, I'm mad...

Mad at her.

No one swifts my man!

We have to find Lucy,

- get her to say - the song is not about you

- Before every fan-girl - turns against you.

- So you're not mad at me...

- And I can return - these $50 earrings.

- Oh, no, I'll take 'em.

- And I'll take the chocolates

- and give them to Lucy - so we can eat 'em...

After we make out.

- Try again.

- And I'll take the chocolates - and give them to Lucy

So she says the song

is not about you.

Then we'll make out.

- Try again.

- I'll stay here

- so I don't screw up things - with my make-out quest.

Bye, buddy.

- Bye.

- Okay, I'll bite.

What's the problem?

- We're not allowed to jog - anymore!

- My make-out quest - has ended!

Kendall got swifted!

- And this is some weird - fruit flavor!

- You left out - "Carlos slaps grannies."

Sounds like big time rush

- is in the middle - of some big time scandals.

- Yeah, which is why you need

to help me get some good press

so everyone will forget

those bad btr scandals.

- Okay, how about you teach - aqua aerobics

At our overcrowded prisons?

- Mm, what else you got?

- You promise to donate

all future earnings to...

Save the koalas.

- And what have they ever done - for me?

How about you sing a duet

with brit pop Princess

Cher Lloyd?

She's recording in L.A.

- Mm-hmm. - Small problem.

- I might have lit off - some fireworks

At a party once

and might have sort of

blown up her car.

So a duet's never gonna happen.

- Doesn't have to happen.

- People just have to think - it happened.

- Okay, let's do another take,

- but could you turn my vocal up - a tad more?

And watch the levels close.

- ? I feel like - I'm on top of the world ?

- And send.

- ? I feel like - I'm on top of the world ?

- And more - in big time rush news

As these photos were leaked,

showing James diamond

lending his vocal

to the new Cher Lloyd single.

It should be Cher-riffic.

- Okay,

which one of these actors

looks like the bad boyfriend

you wrote the song about?

Just pick one.

- Not bad.

Mm, eyebrows too small.

Hmm, he's close.

Not tall enough...

Wait.

- Hey, Lucy.

- Can we, uh, talk about - your new song?

By the way,

- these guys - look nothing like me.

- Kendall, Kendall,

there's Lucy!

- Now's your chance. - Come on.

- Okay, well,

I called e! News,

and they do make me furious,

but they are also fair.

- And we can explain

- that Carlos was helping - the old lady,

Not hurting.

- Oh!

- No, stay away - from that granny.

- But she dropped her purse!

- That is her problem, - not ours!

- I know, but she can't - pick it up.

- Fine. Fine.

I'll help her, okay?

Hello, ma'am.

Let me help you with that.

Here you go, ma'am.

- Oh, thank you. - Of course.

- Oh! - Oh!

- Oh, okay, okay! - Get your footing!

- Oh, okay, oh, okay! - You got a strong grip, lady!

- I got you! - There we... i got you!

Okay, careful.

- Oh!

- They saw you pick up the purse, - right?

- They saw you were helping, - right?

- Oh! - I...

- Tonight at 8:00 - on e!,

We have exclusive footage

of btr's Logan Mitchell

robbing an old lady.

- Yeah, I don't think - they saw him pick up the purse.

- I can't believe - I'm singing a duet

With Cher Lloyd!

- I can't either,

- because it didn't - actually happen.

- Ah, but remember,

- it's not about - what really happened;

- It's what people think - happened.

Thud!

- James!

- I think Cher - found your address and is mad.

- Hey, duet partner!

- I... i bet you have - a ton of questions,

- So let me start by saying, - uh, one,

It is great to see you.

And, two...

- Wait!

I can't run very fast

in these heels!

- You know, - it's pretty presumptuous of you

- To assume that - you dumped me for her

Is about you.

- It's not?

- No, of course it is.

- Look, - I know you may hate me,

But if you swift me,

you're swifting

the whole band,

and they don't deserve that.

- I don't hate you,

and I love the guys,

so don't sweat it.

- I won't say - the song is about you.

- Great!

Thank you.

- Okay, let's go.

- The song is great, - by the way,

But it's not exactly

accurate.

- Hmm, how so?

- Doesn't matter. - Let's go.

- Well, I didn't dump you - for Jo

Because we were never

officially going out.

- We weren't?

- We really should be going.

- Well, no, because

it was more like half a date.

- Yeah, well, there's no rhyme

for "half a date."

- "Have to wait."

Boom.

- Okay. - Rhyme this.

- See you - at my press conference,

- Where I tell the entire world - that the song is about you

- And that - you're a total jerkface.

- Oh...

This just in:

Lucy stone

- is holding a press conference - tonight at 8:00 P.M.

- Where she will reveal - the identity

Of the dating jerkface

she sings about

in her new hit single.

- So Kelly and I decided

it would be a great idea

for us all to get together

and have a little recap.

And let's start with...

I said no scandals!

- Uh, well, Lucy did agree

to say her song wasn't about me.

- But then - he said something stupid,

- And now she's telling everyone - at a press conference.

- Fix it before e! News

airs tonight at 8:00!

- Yeah, meanwhile, we'll be - dealing with Logan and Carlos'

Two granny scandals.

- Technically, - we should count that

As one large granny scandal.

- Hmm, yeah, technically...

- Why can't you guys - be more like James?

He got a duet with Cher Lloyd.

- James!

I know you're in there

recapping!

- Ah, duet, scam...

- Open this door right now!

- We should leave now.

- Quick! - The secret passage!

- Go! Go! Go! - Go! Go! Go!

- Go, go now!

- Go! Go! Go! - Go! Go! Go!

- Come on! - Come on!

Fix those scandals!

- This... is all your fault.

- Cher's here.

- Hello, James. - I'd like a little word with you.

- Cher, I'm so sorry - for crashing your song,

- But big time rush - are caught in some scandals,

- And you and me singing together - would fix those scandals

- 'cause you're cool - and awesome...

Please, not the face.

- Calm down!

I guess there's no harm done.

But after my video shoot

today,

- I shall be releasing - a statement

Saying that you and I

- were just messing around - for the cameras

And there is no duet.

- I like it. - Smart.

- Cheerio, darlings!

- Ready to crash - Cher's music video?

- So the only way to fight - celebrity scandal

Is to counter bad press

with good press.

- So we record footage

of us helping an old lady

across the street.

- Then we send the footage - to e! News,

And big time granny scandal

is over!

- I hate all of you.

- Let's go, granny g.

Guys...

I need to see your faces.

- Oh...

- Where did he go?

Gustavo?

- Where did he go?

- Let's face it.

- This scandal is bigger - than we are,

And we're gonna need some help.

- Okay, here's what you do.

- First, you need some ant spray - and a burlap sack.

- Stop right there.

- Just get back together - with Lucy.

She'll forgive you.

Cancel the press conference.

And I'll date Jo.

- No!

- All right, - forget about the ant spray

And the burlap sack.

- Now, how long can the two of you - hold your breath?

- Stop it.

- I disguise myself as Lucy,

say the song

is not about Kendall,

then tell the whole world

- to watch Camille Roberts' - amazing performance

Still campin'.

- What? - I could use the exposure.

- Well, that's it.

I'm getting swifted.

- Lucy's gonna say it's me - at her press conference,

- And my reputation - will be destroyed.

- Well, since she swifted you,

why don't you just kanye her?

- Great idea!

- What's the caveman - talking about?

- Kanye west - blocked Taylor swift

From speaking onstage.

He just kept talking,

- and she could never - get a word in.

- So we get into her

press conference

and keep her from swifting me.

- And how are we gonna do that?

Okay, everybody.

Picture this...

- ? Now, picture this - first kiss ?

- ? Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, - whoa-oh ?

- ? girl, - can you picture this? ?

- ? Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, - whoa-oh ?

- ? whoa-oh, whoa-oh, - whoa-oh ?

- ? girl, - can you picture this? ?

- ? Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, - whoa-oh ?

- ? girl, - can you picture this? ?

- James!

- ? Girl, - can you picture this? ?

- Okay, Lucy's press conference

is in 20 minutes.

Let's just hope the other guys

get rid of their scandals too.

- Did you guys get the footage?

Bus!

- Do people think that you're nice - to old ladies?

Bus!

- The only thing - that people know

Is what e! Showed them

- because that's the only footage - of Carlos' bee slap

And Logan's purse snatch.

- Agh!

Wait.

Security cameras.

- Go! Go! Go! Go!

-They might have the angles

that show what really happened.

- And then we can send it to e!

Come on.

Come on!

This just in:

New footage that proves

big time rush

is actually helpful

- and not hurtful - to old ladies.

All: Yes!

- But big time scandals - still remain

As the world waits

for pop Princess Lucy stone

to announce the identity

of the jerkface boyfriend

in her song.

Is it Kendall knight?

We have all the details

tonight at 8:00 P.M.

- Whoo!

- Kendall couldn't stop - the press conference!

- Ah! You're supposed to be - hiding from Cher.

- James, get up.

- Please, Cher, - not the face.

- You're lucky, - you cheeky chipmunk.

- Come again?

- Yeah. Come again?

- Well, it turns out

- my director loved the video - with you in it.

And he released

a cut of it online

without my approval.

But the fans loved it,

and we got

10 million hits online.

See?

- Cool. - Okay, well, I've got to run.

- I've got to see my director - in the hospital.

- Why is he in the hospital?

- Well, like I said,

he released the video

without my approval.

- And I've got to run too.

- Lucy's about to Taylor swift - my best friend!

- How do you live with them?

- It's so hard.

- Rumors have been swirling

- as to who my song - you dumped me for her is about

And whether or not

it's Kendall knight.

- And I'm here now - to tell you all the truth

And to answer

all your questions.

- Yes, candy canderson,

scandalicious magazine.

Can you name every star

in the universe?

And go.

- Um...

- I was thinking the questions - would be more about the song.

- I have a question.

Can you see me when I do this?

'Cause I can't see you.

- Yes, I can see you.

- Uh...

Uh, do you think banana bread

- makes an effective bait - for monkey fish?

Also, I have

18 follow-up questions.

- Buddha Bob.

- Yeah. - Uh, no!

- You're busted!

Quick. Hide.

- The question I want to answer

is who the guy in my song is,

- and, in fact, - he is sitting right...

- what if...

You were wrong

about the jerkface in your song?

- Maybe he was just

really confused

and never meant to hurt you

and is the coolest guy I know.

- Maybe you should date

James diamond instead

and make out with him.

I mean...

Help us.

- Okay.

The song

you dumped me for her

is really about...

Not Kendall knight.

It's a combination

- of a few different guys - I've known.

I had one kiss

and half a date with Kendall.

And it was very sweet.

It was great

to see all of you again.

And thanks for coming.

- So after all the hoopla,

it turns out

that Lucy stone's smash,

"you dumped me for her"

is not about Kendall knight,

who is not a total jerkface.

Yes!

- I got to say,

- that was really nice of Lucy - to do that.

Both: Agreed!

- And it was really nice of you

not to get mad at me.

Those lyrics were

kind of hurtful.

- True.

- I mean, it's not like Lucy

is living here

to keep reminding us.

- Hey, guys.

- I'm moving back - into the palm woods.

- Okay.

- Cool.

Both:

She will be mine.

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