Original subtitles

We've got to stop the invasion.

- It could wipe out - everything we know.

- You know - it's a spitball fight,

Not an alien invasion.

- Can I just play - the way I want to?

- Fine.

- Now see if you can spot - the enemy.

- They're in the lobby.

- This year's gonna be great.

We're recording our third album,

I have cooler hair,

- and we're about to announce - our huge summer tour.

- Yup!

- As long as we all - stick together,

Nothing can stop

big time rush.

Now let's destroy Carlos.

- Give me your straw.

- Gross! - What are you gonna do with it?

- I'm gonna save - this lost planet

- With an action-movie-cool - slide move thing.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

- Both: - Gustavo's gonna kill him!

- With one direction, - the wanted,

- And three new boy bands crossing - the Atlantic

With hot new albums

and huge U.S. summer tours.

It's a new British invasion

that will surely leave American

boy band big time rush

in the dust.

Or should I say big time who?

- ? Make it count, - play it straight ?

- ? don't look back, - don't hesitate ?

- ? what you want, - what you feel ?

- ? never quit - and make it real ?

? If you want it all,

lay it on the line ?

? it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ?

- ? Make it count,

play it straight ?

? don't look back,

don't hesitate ?

Why aren't you guys

at the studio?

- Both: - We're being invaded!

- And nice dance sort of.

- I wasn't dancing.

I'm cleaning.

And now i'm... I'm cleaning

the back hallway.

- Enough with the spitballs.

- The British - are not actually invading.

- Oh, really?

- Have you seen this month's - pop tiger?

We're nowhere on the cover,

- and besides one "d" - and the wanted,

Look who else is invading

our great land:

Hair 3,

colorful pants.

Don't forget Simon Cowell's

next boy band.

- Don't panic.

We are in here.

Here's Logan's adorable

"call me" poster.

- It's cute.

- And James,

who will work for hugs.

- I will!

- Okay, so that's 2 of ours

to 18 of theirs.

How did this happen?

- Simon Cowell.

He manages all of these bands

and has an army helping him.

- Gustavo, on the other hand, - does everything himself.

For a man his size,

he's spread very thin.

- We need a new manager.

Katie, be our new manager.

- Can't.

Monthly leases ended yesterday,

and I am going downstairs to see

if any girls my age moved in.

I love you guys,

- but you're not girls - who I can talk about boys with.

- Huh!

We can talk about boys.

- Yeah.

- And we do not need - a new manager.

- But statistics do show

- new managers reinvigorate - lagging companies.

- Smart talk.

- And it looks like - you're outnumbered.

- Tell him where you stand, - invasion buddy of mine.

- I'm on this side.

- Oh, you just made - a big mistake.

Huh!

- Okay, I don't know

what we're doing here.

- We are going back

to rocque records

to see how Gustavo,

our manager,

plans on handling

this invasion.

- Hey.

- You guys want to go - to the pool?

- Not a good time, ladies!

- Trying to stop - an invasion here!

- As one "d" and the wanted - launch their summer tours

In Boston and Atlanta,

we will launch ours in D.C.,

thus protecting the capitol.

- But the next night,

they advance to Richmond

and Baltimore.

- So we fall back

to Kansas City.

- But that's when hair 3,

colorful pants...

- And s.C.N.B.B. Start

their tours.

- Then all of the bands move

into the interior cities...

- Which means...

- You're surrounded.

- Are you here to help us - or make us feel bad?

- Yes.

And the American-British

music rivalry is nothing new.

- When the Beatles invaded - in the '60s,

They wiped out Elvis

and the American rock scene.

So we retaliated

with the dance sounds of disco.

- Then they launched - a new wave offensive

- That washed away - our dance rebellion

And rendered

all my white suits useless.

But grunge brought america back.

- And although their angst-filled - lyrics made me sad,

It made me money.

- Right, so you want us - to fight off the invasion

With everything we've got.

- Close.

I want you to surrender.

- It's time to ditch - the boy bands

And find music's next big thing.

We can't surrender.

- Sure you can.

Just wave these.

- From now on, this studio - and its resources

Will be used solely to find

the next wave of music.

Sorry, boys.

It's over.

It's been fun,

but it's over.

- We're not waving these!

- You are!

- I can fix this.

I'm a mega songwriter,

producer, and manager.

I'm a triple threat!

- Or maybe you're spread - too thin.

- What?

- Maybe we need a new manager...

With fresh ideas that

invigorates things and stuff.

- Oh, okay, yeah.

You know what?

You guys go out

and find a new manager

- that'll bring some fresh ideas - to the band

- To help defeat - the British invasion.

- You don't have a problem - with that?

- I have a big problem

with that!

Enjoy your new manager,

because I quit!

- Okay...

- Oh...

- Guys!

- He did say to go out

and find a new manager.

- Not the way - you're thinking it!

- Hey, Katie, I got to take out

a wasps' nest.

Do you want to shoot off a can?

- This stuff sprays, like, - 30 feet.

- No, thanks.

I'm about to meet my future bff.

- And no offense, - but it's time for me

- To start hanging out with girls - and talk about boys,

Not wasps.

- Oh.

Well, okay.

- I'll see you later, - I guess.

- Check-in time.

Bring on the bffs.

[Indistinct chatter

[and cell phones ringing]

Who are all these guys

and where are my potential bffs?

- These are businessmen,

- because I am turning - the palm woods

Into a business residence.

No more pool parties,

t.p.'d palm trees,

and no more headaches.

Here's your free Wi-Fi password,

your complimentary

continental breakfast,

and hot water is

in the bathroom.

Have a palm woods day.

- I just do not think - we need a new manager.

- Alan sharp was the force

- behind america's - greatest boy bands,

From new kids

to backstreet to 'nsync.

- We don't need help.

I am prepared to fight

this invasion on my own.

- Is that a ten straw?

- Try 12.

- Okay, we will meet with him.

But remember,

this is not a real invasion.

- Gentlemen,

this is an invasion,

and it is real.

These British boy bands are

like a hot boy bomb,

and they're coming

to blow you off the map

- unless you got - a more powerful weapon like me,

Alan sharp.

Would you like a tiny water?

- Little sparkly, - not too hard on the tummy.

- Oh, it's just that Gustavo's

the only manager

that we've ever known.

- Yeah, and we're reluctant

to rush into anything.

- You sign with me today,

I will unleash a barrage:

TV appearances,

viral videos,

moon advertising

that'll rocket big time rush

back to the top.

- I'm ready to fight - for you, fellas.

Question is,

are you ready to fight

- for the life - of the American boy band?

[Indistinct chatter

[and cell phones ringing]

- Come on, come on, come on.

I need your help.

- Ohh.

- I thought you didn't want - to hang out anymore,

'cause I can't talk about boys,

which I totally can.

- This is not the time for that,

- 'cause the palm woods - has been invaded.

Invaded?

- What is it? - Wasps?

Rodents?

Businessmen.

- No! - No ax.

- Okay, so all we have to do

is sign right here

and big time rush has

a new manager.

- Not so sure. - I don't know.

- What?

Getting a new manager

was your idea.

- The water was very tiny.

- You said sharp was the best - in the business,

And look around you.

- I don't see anybody else - riding up on a white horse

Trying to save us

from the invasion.

- Did you say "horse"

or "horsche"?

- Well, well.

If it isn't big time rush,

American boy band about

to be destroyed by the brits.

Let me guess:

- You just met with - a past-his-prime manager

Whose only solutions for you

were TV spots

and moon advertising?

- He was a bit vague.

- Allow me to give you - some specifics.

One sold-out summer tour,

- two sports cars - for each of you

In case one gets dirty,

$3 million advance

for your next cd,

and four guys whose dreams

all came true because of me,

Mitchell gold.

Here's my card.

Call me if you need me.

And you do.

- Can you believe that guy?

Both: You mean our new manager?

- What? - No, he's not.

Both: Yes, he is.

- Both: - We're going with sharp.

- Oh, well, we're going - with big-water guy.

- Well, I don't like - the big bottle...

- I'm so tired of this...

- We want to get - to the top, okay?

- You've got to stop doing that!

- Uh, walking into the apartment

while you dance weirdly?

- I'm cleaning.

- And why are you - all standing there like that

Separated

with your arms folded?

Are you fighting?

- We are fighting

a British invasion,

and they're doing it wrong.

- No, we're doing it right.

- Yeah.

Oh, our new manager

just got us

- on the daily show - With Jon Stewart.

- Ah! - I want to be on that show.

He would love me.

- Well, you can't,

and he wouldn't.

- Ohh, look at that.

- Our new manager just landed us - featured vocals

On a new Gavin degraw single.

Ha!

- We are going to be singing - the national anthem

At Dodgers stadium.

- Saturday top 40.

- Pop tiger cover shoot.

- Are those 12 straws?

Both: 16.

- Don't!

- You guys know you can't fight - a British invasion

If you're having a civil war.

- Hey. - Can you guys hit the pool now?

- Not a good time, ladies.

- Fighting a civil war here.

- Ugh!

- Don't follow us.

- You don't follow us.

- [Indistinct chatter - and cell phones ringing]

- I figure each businessman - we get rid of

Equals one potential bff

I can talk about boys to.

I can talk about boys.

- Stop it.

- Now, if there's one thing - businessmen hate,

It's annoying kids.

So I'm gonna play

a little dodgeball in the hall.

- But look at 'em. - They travel in large packs.

- [Indistinct chatter - and cell phones ringing]

They might not even notice.

- Keep quiet. - I've got to get closer.

Darn it!

- This is the daily show

with Jon Stewart.

- Welcome to the daily show. - My name is Jon Stewart.

Tonight, big show

with a big-time visit

from big time rush.

About an hour or so ago...

- Hey, guys, I got here - as fast as I could.

- Good. - Now get them off the show.

- I can't do that. - They're not my clients.

- Well, then, sue them, - 'cause this makes us look bad.

And I never look bad.

- Don't worry.

- You're going to sound great - featured on that hot new single,

So come on, let's go.

- Not yet.

- From big time rush,

please welcome Kendall

and Carlos.

- Uh...

Big time rush, everybody.

We'll be right back.

- Thanks, Gavin.

- I think this song - is gonna be huge.

- Quiet, Mitch. - Right.

Quieting down.

- Okay, guys, when you sing, - I want you to imagine

A cool breeze, okay,

just blowing in your face.

One, two.

One, two, three.

- Ah! - Not the face!

- I will have revenge!

- That was terrible.

Somebody call colorful pants.

- And now singing

our national anthem,

from big time rush,

Kendall and Carlos.

Both:

- I hate you!

- Hey, everyone, it's Logan - and James from big time rush,

And we are guest-hosting

Saturday top 40.

Coming up next is

a brand-new hit from... oh, no.

- He started it!

- Put them on the floor!

- He started it!

- Okay, all right,

that is enough!

- We booked so many great jobs - for you guys...

- And you ruined them all.

- Yeah, well, I'm not so sure - you're managing us very well.

- Managing you?

I want to destroy you.

- Okay, we're sorry.

- No, no, no. - You are not sorry.

You are an idiot.

- You forgot to say "pretty".

He's a pretty idiot.

- Thank you.

- Look at yourselves.

- You're has-beens - before you're even 20.

- Okay.

That's a little harsh.

- Your careers are over.

Well...

In that case...

You're fired.

- You've got a lot of nerve!

- Heard you on the radio

this morning.

And it was really bad.

- Before you say anything,

we just fired our managers.

- I'm surprised - they lasted this long.

- So what do we do now?

- I don't know!

I'm scared!

- This is bad.

- I posted online that the rooms - would be available at 1:00,

- But the businessmen - are still here.

- Well, haunting their rooms - didn't work,

- And neither does - the wasp spray.

- Then there's only one thing - left to do.

- Hey, I thought you said - no axes.

- I'm not gonna use it - on them.

You're going to use it to kill

the palm woods' free Internet.

- That might actually work.

- Oh, no.

The Internet is down.

It can't be down!

No!

Please, calm down, everyone.

- We'll have the Internet - back up shortly.

Don't leave me!

I hate teens!

1:00 P.M.

Check-in time.

Wait.

Where are all the girls?

- Well, there are no girls,

but that kid's kind of a looker.

- Nah. - Too much hair.

What about backpack boy?

- Well, it's really beat up,

so he's either really smart

or very clumsy.

Both: Clumsy.

- Sorry for blowing - you off earlier.

- I guess you can talk - about boys.

- You got that right, - girlfriend.

- ? Make it count,

play it straight ?

- Well, that was horrifying.

- I actually thought - she was getting better.

- Ehh. - Ehh.

- I don't care - what you guys think,

Because I am having fun.

And when the last time

any of you guys had fun?

- How are we supposed - to have fun

- When a foreign army - of boy bands

- Is about to invade - our great land

And capture all our fans?

- Well, that is not

gonna happen,

because, uh,

this is america,

- and we invented - the boy band!

- Right!

From the platters

to the Jackson 5

to new kids to backstreet

to you guys.

- Okay.

So what do we do?

- Well, I will tell you

what we're gonna do.

What are we gonna do?

- What are we... - What do we do?

You... you... you... you do it

like nobody's around.

You dance and you sing

like no one is watching,

because that's what's

in your hearts.

- Keep going.

- You write songs because

that's what you love doing,

- not because you're trying - to top Simon Cowell.

And you guys,

stop worrying

about cd and ticket sales

and remember why

you got into this:

To be together and to do

something you'll never forget.

- What about Griffin?

- I'll take care of Griffin.

- Huh.

- Well, I guess we didn't need - a new manager.

- We just needed a momager.

- Ooh, looks like I walked

into a music video moment.

All: Yup!

- ? 'Cause you're laughing - so hard tonight ?

? Playing air guitar,

all right ?

? At the top

of your lungs about ?

? all our favorite songs

so loud ?

? Get a little bit

rock 'n' roll ?

- ? so throw your hands - in the air ?

- ? come on - and make this count ?

? Whoa, so put your hands

in the air ?

- ? come on - and waste no time ?

? It doesn't really matter

if it's wrong or right ?

? we can do it

like nobody's around ?

? Get a little bit

rock 'n' roll ?

- ? so throw your hands - in the air ?

- ? come on - and make this count ?

? Whoa, so put your hands

in the air ?

- ? come on - and waste no time ?

- ? it doesn't really matter - if it's wrong or right ?

? We can do it

like nobody's around ?

- Okay, you've convinced me.

- I don't want big time rush - to surrender,

And I like the song.

- ? We can do it - like nobody's around ?

- ? we can do it

like nobody's around ?

- ? we can do it

like nobody's around ?

- All right,

that was Gustavo saying

we just added dates

in Portland, Phoenix,

- and an extra night - in New York.

- All right! - Perfect.

- Okay, now,

what about him?

- No, guys.

I'm fine.

- Yeah, well,

so is blondie Jones.

- Huh.

- Guys, we don't need

to talk about boys.

- We know, but who better - to talk about them than boys?

- Ah, ah! - You're right.

- Okay, okay, all right.

What about blue shirt boy?

- Looks like your type.

- Hey, there's one!

- Look at... come here! - Come here!

You in the ugly shorts!

- Yo, ugly shorts! - Over here!

- Ugly shorts!

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