Original subtitles

[opening theme playing]

♪ some people stand In the darkness ♪

♪ afraid to step Into the light ♪

♪ some people need To help somebody ♪

♪ the edge Of surrender in sight ♪

♪ don't you worry

♪ it's going to be all right ♪

♪ because I'm always ready

♪ I won't let you Out of my sight ♪

♪ I'll be ready

♪ I'll be ready

♪ whatever you fear

♪ no, don't you fear

♪ I'll be ready

♪ forever and always

♪ I'm always here

[piano playing]

♪ because I'm always ready

♪ I won't let you Out of my sight ♪

♪ I'll be ready

♪ I'll be ready

♪ whatever you fear

♪ no, don't you fear

♪ I'll be ready

♪ forever and always

♪ I'm always here.

[dramatic drums]

-boy: oil, sunblock! -hey!

-hey, what can I get you?

-what do you have? Sun tanner, yeah.

Okay.

Thanks.

-hey! Come back here, hey!

Thief! Somebody stop him!

Hey! Lifeguard!

-come on, come on! -grab him, please!

-hey, man!

-he's getting away!

Do something!

[man cheers]

He took all of my money! Please, help me!

Everything is in there!

My whole life. -newmie, newmie!

[whistles]

Hold up!

Hey, man. -what's the deal?

-couple snatch and run guys!

Come on, let's go!

Over there!

-I got it!

-floor it, newmie!

-hang on!

-got to go faster, man!

-hang on! -all right!

-we got the angle!

-newmie: we're gaining!

-cody: get them, Newmie, get them!

-dude, we're stuck, man! -go to the harbor!

-I think we got them!

-man: come Through the railing!

Yeah, whoo!

-cody: go around, go around!

Go to the harbor, We got to block!

See them anywhere?

-no.

-where did they go?

Behind us, behind us!

-go, go!

-don't let them get away!

[cheers]

-good work, newmie!

Big bad purse snatchers, huh?

Book 'em, danno. Whoo!

-hey guys, good sets, huh?

-this is jason and max, they're 100 yard dash specialists,

And the money man there Is alex.

He's our high jumper.

Hey, what do you Say there, alex?

-all right, guys, Get me some money.

-atta boy. -gosh, you're lovely.

-hey, how's it going?

-good, we're trying To get sponsors

So these athletes can compete In the special olympics.

-really, how you doing so far?

-not good, we need more money.

-need more money, huh?

Well...

Hey, jenny mccarthy here At the mtv beach house!

Now, wait a second.

Hey, darling, what Are you watching?

-mtv. -mtv.

You need exposure, you need To spread the world fast,

Sponsors, you know, I got an idea.

I'll be right back.

-okay.

-yeah, jenny mccarthy, please.

-hey, jenny, it's mitch Buchannon, baywatch.

Yeah, how you doing?

I just saw you on tv.

Listen, there were A couple of kids

From the special olympics Athletes on the beach today,

And they're trying To raise some money

And bring awareness To their program.

And I was just kind Of wondering maybe

We could do something Together to help them.

-joey, that was you best time Yet in the 200 yard dash.

Amy, let's see, I'm going To have you do the long jump.

You're doing really well there.

-hey guys, listen up, We got a deal!

-what do you mean?

-we're going to be on mtv!

[cheers]

-all of us? -mitch: all of us.

-you're kidding.

-no, I'm not kidding, I just talked to jenny mccarthy,

And she said what about A competition between

The mtv beach house and the Baywatch lifeguards, right?

We get some sponsors And all the money

Goes the special Olympics athletes.

We call it beach blast!

[cheers and claps]

-mtv, mtv, mtv!

-yeah, let's hear it For cat on the loose!

-what's up, jenny? -we're going to kick butt!

-yes, we are.

I only have a few words For the lifeguards,

We're going to shut Them down, baby!

-right on, brother!

Dallas, babe, come on out!

-girl, you know I'm Ready for a fight, yow!

-yow, john sencio, Come here baby!

-I got a message for cody, Mr. Flat stomach.

You're just fronting, man.

The vjs, l kid, we're Representing, baby!

-yeah, we are!

All right, Last one, simon rex!

-all right, all right, I get to wrestle

With cat on the loose, right?

-oh, yeah.

-oh, all I got to say is, Cj., you're going down, baby!

-okay, them the Hunks from baywatch.

Let's meet 'em, you guys!

[siren blares]

-they're violating a bunch Of motor vehicle regulations

Being on the top of That thing and the back!

Oh, that girly little Ride they have.

-here they come, the them team,

The lifeguards of baywatch!

-hey, hey, hey, Get back cowboy!

-break it up, it's all About fun, fun only!

Mitch buchannon, The captain of the team!

-that's right, as you can see, I'm wearing a black armband

In memory Of the mtv loss.

-no! No way!

What's your name?

-hey, I'm donna and I'm Hungry for a vj sandwich.

-cody madison and young Jennifer, you are all mine.

-whatever!

-I'm jordan tate, and mtv, You guys are going down!

-oh, john, john, john!

-I'm newmie and I'm going to hate

To see parts of vj All over the beach.

-oh, no, hunk and Hunkets, one and all,

You guys, let's Hear it for them!

[cheers]

-jenny, let me talk to this Young lady over here, jordan.

So you saying if I was drowning You could really save me?

-absolutely, I'm a lifeguard, I swim for a living and you?

-oh, I'm going To the pool, baby!

-you got here going on, man!

So mitch, we got Some special guests.

The special olympic Athletes are here.

-as you know, all the Proceeds from this contest

Win or lose go to the Special olympics today!

We are honored to have The special olympic athletes!

Come on, give it up For the athletes!

Come on up here! Let's go, baby!

All the proceeds From this contest

Go to the special Olympics, come on in!

Okay, all right, let's give It up for the athletes!

-all right, you guys, Make sure you stay tuned

Because when we come back,

We're going to get Ready to rumble!

Don't go anywhere, yeah!

-baywatch, baywatch!

-pickled eel, very healthy.

-I actually don't think that Pickled eel is on my diet.

-oh, what diet is that?

-the earthling diet, cj.

[laughter]

-try it, you'll like it!

Well?

-mmmm!

-well, I have a big surprise!

-I don't think Anything could be

A bigger surprise Than that pickled eel!

-actually, it could've Been a problem,

But I like to think of Problems as challenges.

You want to tell her, cody?

-no, why don't you?

-cody got evicted.

-not evicted, asked Politely to move.

-come on, eat, you guys!

You want bread?

-mmm...

-yeah, cody's Landlord got her mother

To move into the apartment.

-oh, that's too bad, When'd you find out?

-today.

-where are you going to move?

-that's the surprise. Here!

-here, what do You mean, with us?

-yeah, we could split Everything three ways.

Just think of all the Money we're going to save.

What, we've had three People live here before.

-but we had three Girls before, cj.

Cody, cody is not a girl.

-so?

-so it's hard enough to live With one other person.

-we get along fine.

Don't we?

-yeah, I mean Maybe there might be

One of two things that you do

That I don't particularly love.

-like what? -nothing, never mind.

-no, no, cj, she's right.

I mean, you know everybody Has those little things

They do that drive Other people crazy.

-me, what could I do?

-well, I mean, if you insist.

Tea bags!

-tea bags? -yeah, tea bags.

Herbal, used, and oh, Yeah, in the sink.

That is gross!

-well, I could see how That could bother you.

-you do?

-but honey, I have no problem

Picking them up and Putting them in the trash.

-where they belong, thank you!

-are you calling me sloppy?

-cj, I don't think... -caroline: yes.

-well, at least I'm not a neat freak.

-oh, what, like me?

-who else color codes The vegetable bins

And puts the dairy products

In the refrigerator By expiration date.

-well, I just do that So you don't drink bad milk!

-I don't drink milk! -hey, hey, hey!

Well, I think we've made some Real progress here tonight.

-shut up, cody!

-ow.

-yeah, this is a great Place to practice.

The mtv beach house cliff Is just about this high.

-yeah, you see the Yellow flowers down there?

That ought to be about Where the swimming pool is.

-see the big boulder?

Why don't we target That as where

The mtv camera Is going to be.

-parachuting off city hall, Bungee jumping

Off that bridge, crashing A tv show prime time.

-nothing to do but do it.

So flash those pearly Whites for the camera,

And ready, Jenny, here we come!

Go!

I'm going for it.

[siren blaring]

-hey, there's no hang Gliding off these cliffs.

-hey, sorry, officer, We didn't know.

-I swear I saw those lifeguards Eating tons of donuts.

Hey, does it hurt having to Suck your gut in that hard?

-what size girdle, Is that velcro?

-watch it, that's my man.

-oh, diver darling, I'm a diva, get it right.

-diva, come on!

-you know, let's Just let them be.

They need some work, they Need to work on the push ups

And some sit ups.

We'll go off and Kind of moderate.

-hey, donna, are we still Going out tonight or what?

-good luck! -yeah.

-hey everyone, jenny mccarthy Here at the mtv beach house.

The sun shining And we're having fun

And it's been beach Blast all week long.

Us versus them, Who do we got over here?

Cat, cat, come on Over here, honey!

Ooh, look who she's with.

Hi, honey, are you excited To play on our team?

-I can't wait, I'm so excited.

-who are these hunks You got with you?

-these are my bookends.

[laughs]

-wow, not bad for bookends.

Okay, honey, I'll see you later.

-all right.

-listen, dallas, I know We work together and everything,

But I think we could Go grab a movie,

Maybe we can get together, You know, hang out.

-hey, guys, I'm going to catch You later, see you tomorrow!

-man: all right, see you Later, dallas, take care.

-mitch, hi.

You don't remember, do you?

-remember what?

-sorry, it's been A really long time,

I-I can't expect you To remember.

-no, it's okay, Give me a hint.

-no, it's all right, It's actually really lame.

It's really stupid.

-no, come on, it's got To be important, what?

-no, tomorrow we're Going to kick your butt.

That's what I got To say, see you!

-first of all, all you Have to do is walk out

Here on this Wonderful log, right?

-okay.

-you get to the middle, You going to take

This punchy stick, And you're going

To defend yourself, okay?

-okay.

-and whatever you do, you Don't fall in the water.

You got it, can you do it?

-of course I can do it.

-all right, hey, if I win, think We can go for a little swim?

-we'll see.

-good time, but We'll beat you here

With the iced tea by nine And a half seconds, sorry.

-that's not one of The beach blast games.

-oh, no, but it's one of My personal favorites.

-bad kitty! -I know.

-hey, it's water Jousting time, whoo!

Oh, oh, oh, There goes simon.

Yeah, she wins it!

All right, here we go!

Donna faces The new challenger,

Bill bellamy or buffalo bill!

That's what I like to call him!

Come on, billy, Do it for mtv!

Oh, no, oh no, yes!

Baywatch goes down!

Newmie is going to Get him right now!

Oh, god, oh god, Bellamy goes in!

Mtv down!

Katana, the mtv us team Is getting ready

To face newmie on them Team for baywatch!

Come on, kat woman, here we go!

They're coming close! -come on, kitty!

-jenny: newmie, newmie has Got the right stuff, I think!

Get him in the Butt, that's right!

Oh, god, He got her in the butt!

There we go, yeah!

That's right, Kat woman does it!

Mtv rules!

We got sencio versus cody!

There's been a lot Of friction going on

Between those two!

Uh-oh, sencio is doing Some flat talking!

Oh, they bow to each other!

[both screaming]

We got two comedians On our hands!

Uh-oh, uh-oh, oh no!

They both go in, right on!

-hey, not bad for a wimp, man!

-yeah, man!

-hey, mitch! -hey.

-april 9th, 1986.

-april 9th, 1986, Now what does that mean?

-well, you're Going to have to go

To the way back machine And think about it.

-april 9th.

-hey, I'm with a group Of winners right now.

The special olympic Athletes will be

Passing out the medals To the champions

Of the beach blast games,

But we all know who That's going to be, right?

Who's going to win?

Mtv, yeah, mtv, You got it, honey!

-mtv. -whoo!

Hello everyone, it's Time, so get ready for

Big glove boxing!

[crowd cheering]

-all right, I got one, one, Two, two, three, three!

♪ baby it's a party when it comes to blows -and the winner is mtv, yeah!

♪ so turn it up, bring it on Ya know that it's good for the soul ♪

♪ wanna take you higher Than you've ever been ♪

♪ and in the morning look like What the cat dragged in ♪

♪ we're doing this thing Called rock and roll ♪

♪ it's a beach party baby Out under the sun ♪

♪ it's a beach party baby Gonna have some fun ♪

♪ it's a beach party baby Out on the waves ♪

♪ it's a beach party baby Throw the rules away ♪

♪ that's the name of the game This summer day ♪

-mitch, wear this For good luck.

-okay!

Thank you. All right, let's go!

♪ it's a beach party baby Out under the sun ♪

♪ it's a beach party baby Gonna have some fun ♪

♪ it's a beach party baby Out on the waves ♪

♪ it's a beach...

-at the end of the first Period of competition,

The lifeguards have 45, Beach house is 38, boo-whoo!

♪ it's a beach party baby It's a beach party baby ♪

♪it's a beach party baby

♪ it's a beach party baby It's a beach party baby ♪

♪ it's a beach party baby

♪ that's the name of the game This summer day ♪

-this is great.

It is isn't it?

-it's only been 10 minutes, But so far so good.

-I'm glad caroline came around.

-yeah.

-it'll be great, won't it?

-it's going to be Fantastic, baby.

[door slams]

[door slams]

[basket slams]

-I... I found your New green sweatshirt.

You left it in the washer.

-oh, thank you, caroline.

-see, I didn't know that, So I...

I washed it with my whites.

What, what happened To the electricity?

-oh, we're a month Behind, aren't we?

-what, no, no, no, We got a final notice bill.

-did you pay it? -did I pay it?

I wrote the check, I put The stamp on the envelope,

You just had to mail it.

-I didn't see it!

-cj, what do you mean You didn't see it?

I left it right on The kitchen counter.

-near the old Stack of newspapers?

-no, I don't leave old Newspapers hanging around.

-I did, it must be Under the old newspapers.

-no, no, no, I... I threw them out in the trash...

Along with the old tea bags.

[door slams]

-bad dog.

-roof.

[crowd cheering]

-okay, girls, you all set?

Okay, one, two, three, go!

One, two, three, go!

[huffing]

-hold on, let me Tell you something.

Cj and I had A real special time

On the dance floor last night.

-you were out dancing with cj?

-yeah, man, what do You think of that?

-that's nothing, Jenny mccarthy and I

Were out at malibu until Six in the morning.

-wait, my little j? -jenny mccarthy!

-stop talking trash.

-yeah!

-stop talking trash. Let's go, baby, come on!

-okay, take it Out on the course!

-one, two, three, go!

-super sencio, man, I'm in the triathlon!

Oh, jeez, hey look, rough Beat, you're going down!

-all right, sugar bumps, lucky For you I'm a gentleman.

-you just take care Of yourself, gentleman.

-I will. -take your marks. Get set. Go!

-ow, god!

-good thing your Head was there!

Whoo!

Yeah!

-this is a workout for me.

-oh, ah!

-hey, look out!

-you're going down!

-hey, let go of me!

-hey, get off me, That's cheating!

-loser!

-hey, wait up, I'm Going to win this race!

-hey, good feet, says you!

Keep dancing, twinkle toes, Two can play that game!

-whoo!

-hey, come back here!

-hey, you're no gentleman!

That's okay, Because I'm no lady!

-oh, hey, that's not fair!

-oh!

-come here, oh, You're in danger!

-whoo!

Yeah, whoo, victory!

-mitch, you're the man.

-thanks.

-are you ready? -hey, I was born ready.

-kind of extreme, Dropping in uninvited.

-extreme is my middle name.

-go, go!

Go, guy!

[suspenseful music]

Go!

-here I come!

Let's do it!

[suspenseful music]

-okay, everyone, Please gather around!

Please gather around, we're About to announce the winner

Of the beach blast mtv games!

And the winner is, baywatch!

You're right!

[cheering]

Baywatch, come on up!

The special olympic Athletes will be presenting

You with medals!

Okay, please present the medals

To the baywatch winners!

Winners saluting...

-whoo, baywatch, Baywatch, baywatch,

Baywatch, baywatch!

[suspenseful music]

-man: you're too close!

Go!

Oh, oh, pull it back, ah!

-I can't, I'm gonna to fall!

[woman screams]

-newmie, cody, jordan, come on!

-you guys, this is Not a beach blast game.

This is the real thing!

-ah!

[man screams]

-woman: Help! Over here! Help!

-there's a real life Rescue going on right now.

The baywatch lifeguards Are swimming out

Into the ocean to Save the two victims.

-I'll unhook him.

-get his head up!

[gasps]

-let's get him in, Get his legs up!

-the baywatch lifeguards Have reached the victims

And they are bringing Them to shore right now.

-donna, make sure We're clear!

-okay!

-they'll probably Have to do cpr!

We should go over there And find out, come on!

-careful, careful!

-let's put them down.

-no pulse. Begin cpr.

-one, two, three, Four, five, breathe!

One, two, three, Four, five, breathe!

One, two, three, four, five!

-you guys, are they alive?

-breathe, one!

[coughing]

[cheering and clapping]

-yeah, that's fine.

Okay, okay. Yeah, thanks.

[slow jazz music Playing over speakers]

-man 1: yes'm, gilligan, You were right!

This is a lot bigger Inside than it is outside.

Man 2: told you!

Man 3: get to bed, little buddy, Lot of work to do tomorrow.

[ball bouncing]

-can you turn it down, please?

-it was a great day At the beach house!

[ball bouncing]

-can you turn That down, please?

-why don't you turn it down?

-this is my favorite show!

-cj, I was in here first!

-yeah, well you're supposed To be on a date right now.

This is a special.

-what difference Does that make?

It didn't work out, I'm here, so what?

Why do you have To be louder than me?

-speak up!

-you didn't tell me that, How am I supposed to know?

-caroline!

-what!

-hey!

[whistles]

-what? -I can't hear!

-yeah. [tv and radio turn off]

Where?

We're on it! Pool fire in the marina.

Dispatch is calling the Whole roster, let's go!

-cody: I don't know about You guys, but I'm beat.

-who put an empty Bag of potato chips

Back in the cupboard?

-"We're scolding The lousy tilfi"?

Can you decipher this Message please, caroline.

It's in your handwriting.

-"They're holding The blouse until five."

-"They're holding the Blouse until five"?

I've been waiting for that Blouse for three weeks,

Thank you very much, Now they probably

Sold it to somebody else! Why didn't you tell me?

-I did tell you, it's written There in plain english.

Oh, god!

No drinking from The carton, you slob!

-my boyfriend is not a slob.

-fine, why are You defending him?

I think you've known Me a little bit longer.

-hey, hey, let's just Hold it for a minute.

Guys, we just saved Four lives together.

I think we should be Able to live together.

-yeah, really.

-yeah.

-no, no dribbling in the house!

-and keep the toilet seat down!

[laughing]

-oh, group hug.

-candy gram!

-whoo. Hey, mitch, What's up? What's this?

-mail gram.

-mail gram, hmm.

-I checked the old Incident report.

On april 9th, 1986, A little 14-year-old girl

Was pulled from A rip current by tower 12.

-14-year-old girl With a braces

And a body like An ironing board.

-well, some things do change.

[laughs]

Do you know, I found That drawing in my tower,

I kept it on my bulletin Board in my office

All these years and I never knew Who it was from.

How come you never signed it And let me know it was you?

-are you kidding me?

I had a humongous crush on you.

I was embarrassed!

-how about now?

-what, am I embarrassed or Do I still have a crush on you?

[laughs]

Give me a pen, I'll sign it for you.

Okay, how about your back?

-well, that concludes Our beach blast week

For the mtv beach house.

We lost, but that's okay, Isn't it, john?

-well, they used an illegal Amount of sun tan lotion,

Those darn lifeguards, But it's for a good cause,

So it's all right.

-jenny: exactly, and they're In pretty good shape.

-yeah, they cheated and I want a rematch, jenny.

I'm not having this, This is not enough for me.

-oh, simon, you're Such a bad sport.

You almost had it out With one of the lifeguards.

-well, they made us Look a little sluggish

With all those jelly Donuts and stuff.

I'm cody, I got A flat stomach...

-surprise!

-oh, my god, yay!

-okay, wait, we have A special message

From carrie and the Special olympics athletes.

-thank you very much

For having us on tv.

We love you!

[cheers]

-mtv, mtv!

-thank you so much, guys!

-mtv, mtv, mtv!

[cheering]

[closing theme playing]