Original subtitles

[opening theme playing]

♪ some people stand In the darkness ♪

♪ afraid to step Into the light ♪

♪ some people need To help somebody ♪

♪ when the edge of Surrender's in sight ♪

♪ don't you worry

♪ it's gonna be alright

♪ 'cause I'm always ready

♪ I won't let you Out of my sight ♪

♪ I'll be ready [I'll be ready] ♪

♪ never you fear [no, don't you fear] ♪

♪ I'll be ready

♪ forever and always

♪ I'm always here

♪ because I'm always ready

♪ I won't let you Out of my sight ♪

♪ I'll be ready [I'll be ready] ♪

♪ never you fear [no, don't you fear] ♪

♪ I'll be ready

♪ forever and always

♪ I'm always here.

[reggae music playing]

♪ say hello to these new vibrations

♪ make you wanna listen to my station

♪ all alone and I know your near me

-guess who's coming To our beach today?

-well, I will tell you.

For starters, We have three monster

Reggae stars shooting a video.

-guess who else is Coming to our beach today?

-enlighten me.

-special agent dudley dawson, United states secret service.

-special agent Dawson, this is...

-mitchell buchannon, 6'4", 193 pounds, divorced, ex-wife

Gail, one child, son, hobie, Rank lieutenant. Am I factual?

-very.

-well, life or death, That's my business.

One small screw up Can mean a huge accident.

That's why I do my homework.

-well, I guess I haven't done mine.

Why are you here?

-well, I need your help, Our president is going to

Be taking his daily jog On this beach today.

-our president?

-yes, does that Disgruntle you?

-disgruntle me? No. Surprise me? Yes.

-you are a loyal american?

-yes, I am a very Loyal american,

I just wanna know why our President chose this beach.

-because he can.

He's our president.

And I am his point man.

It is my job, should It become necessary,

To use my body As a shield to protect

Our commander in chief, oh...

Ten-four, tiger shark, we will Commence operation razorback.

On my mark...

On three, two, one, mark.

I will be usurping much of Your authority during the day.

I hope you won't be slighted,

It's a matter of National security.

Thank you.

-not even 9:30, this could Be one mother of a day.

-roger that, turtledove.

-ok, out of the way, Please, it's my turn.

Hopefully my make-up will set Before it starts to melt again.

-why can't the air conditioning Go out in the winter time?

-because that's when the Heating's gonna go out.

-oh.

-funny, it seems to me...

Is there anything Special about today?

-if you call getting a root Canal on your only day off

In two weeks special, Then today's pretty special.

At least the dentist will Have air conditioning.

Have a nice day.

-you too.

Birthday's Are for kids anyway.

Hey, what's up?

-gnarly rip current For starters.

-really, how bad?

-almost as bad as A zillion jellyfish

Reported all the way from Point doom to venice.

-great.

So what's with all the Bikers, do you know?

-oh, it's their annual Summer bbq and beach bash.

Bash in a fun-loving Sense, I hope.

-so, anything interesting Or exciting going on tonight?

-tonight? I'm just trying To get past today.

It's very hot, Hot, hot, hot, hot.

-man: hey man, Check this guy out!

[shouts of consternation]

-woman: you're Gonna kill someone!

-man: get outta here! You don't belong here!

-ok, I'm looking for a Ten-year-old boy named marcus.

I'm holding a jenny, Five years old, blonde hair,

And a 7-year-old boy who insists

His name is arnold Schwarzenegger, over.

Man, how come I get Babysitting detail?

[radios chattering And phones ringing]

-would you be mr. Madison?

-and would you be Mr. Parnell from the irs?

-I would, indeed.

-mr. Madison, the Internal revenue service

Agreed to come to you For your tax audit,

Out of deference to your job As a protector of our citizens,

But our appointment Was scheduled for 9:30.

Not 9:32.

-I'm sorry I'm late, but It's just two little minutes.

I mean, no biggie, right?

-really? We'll see.

May I examine your tax Receipts for last year?

-boy, how about this heatwave?

Yeah, I don't think it could Get any hotter, do you?

-on the contrary, I have the feeling

The temperature is just Starting to climb.

-cody, we got a couple Of kamikaze jet-skiers

Strafing some Surfers off tower 18.

-let's go!

Hey, I'm sorry, Mr. Parnell, but it's my job.

I've got citizens to protect.

Be back soon And we'll finish this up.

[intense rock music]

-got it.

-male jetskier: man, here Come the lifeguards!

-yeah, let's get out of here!

-male surfer: Yeah! Go get'em!

-make them go!

[intense electric rock music]

-jetskier: split up!

Hit the marina!

-cut your engine!

Cut it now!

Grab on, take my bowline.

-cut your motor!

I said, shut it down.

You should learn how to listen.

-yes! That'll teach you!

-hold still.

Here, grab on.

-you keep drinking A lot of water, alright?

We're having a heatwave,

I mean, it's a real Scorcher out here.

Heat prostration can Really knock you out!

Alright.

-yeah, president's Reagan, bush,

Whenever they were In los angeles,

I was always on the Job, scanning the crowd,

Running alongside the limousine.

Always on guard, ready To lay down my life,

Or whatever it took.

-can I ask you a question?

-as long as it's not Classified information.

-aren't you hot in that suit?

-sir, I am on duty, I am patrolling my sector,

On guard for any kind Of sabotage or villainy.

-agent dawson, you're The only one on the beach

Wearing a dark suit and Dress shoes filled with sand.

We are having a heatwave.

Now, don't you think, if there Is any saboteur or villain

Out there, they're going to Know exactly who you are?

-mitch, the switchboard At headquarters

Is lit up Like a christmas tree.

First off, a bunch of gang Guys hassled a fisherman,

They made him jump off the pier.

-who's on it?

-well, barnet's responded, He made the rescue.

-yeah, were they armed?

-the gang guys, I don't know.

-were there any Kind of anti-american

Chants, signs, slogans?

-I don't know that either.

-what did they say To the fisherman?

-jump, I guess.

-where's newmie?

-he's on a call with cody.

Oh, and this lady Called in from malibu.

She said a kid crashed His hang glider

Into her swimming pool.

-sounds like A reconnaissance flight to me.

-I'm sure it was, The boy was 17,

And the lady was Sunbathing in the nude.

It's crazy out there, Mitch, and it's only 10:30.

-all right, call Dispatch, get them to run

The list of lifeguards, tell'em I want them all on the sand.

Tell'em it's okay To run overtime shifts.

-I want control Of the perimeter.

I want you to clear This beach now.

-you want me to tell 200,000 people to go home,

That the beach is closed?

-let me tell you something, My friend, any one of

These 200,000 people could Be a potential terrorist.

Need I remind you, our President is going to be jogging

On this beach at 16:30 hours.

-you watch a lot of Television, don't you?

-can you feel that, c.J.?

-uh-uh.

-well, I certainly hope not.

It took three shots of Novocaine to get you numb.

-I can't feel a thing.

-good.

[beeper rings]

-uh-oh, I gotta go.

-what?

-baywatch, code 3, Haffa go to work.

[metallic clanging]

-mom!

Dad!

Mom!

[whimpers]

-[mumbles with frozen mouth]

-what?

-[mumbles]

-I can't understand you, lady.

-yo mama, mama.

-oh, my mom?

I don't know, she's lost.

-[mumbles]

-what?

-come on.

[electric rock ballad]

[sneaky music]

[kid whining]

-dispatch, we've got A procedure question.

Mr. Schwarzenegger here says He needs to use the bathroom.

But if I go with him, What do I do with jenny?

Over.

-jordan: we're on our Way over to you, manny,

Just a little crowded.

Take arnold into the ocean.

Just kidding!

We're almost there.

-thirty yards south Of the rock jetty?

Okay, how far apart Are the contractions?

Contractions? You got A baby on the beach?

I'll send a call car to Notify st. John's hospital.

Wanna toss a coin? -I'll take it.

-295, this is samantha.

[siren blaring]

[woman screaming]

-ok, take it easy, Take it easy.

When was the last contraction?

[woman screams Through her teeth]

Whoa, that would be it.

[woman screaming]

-chris, jenna, bring The ob kit out here.

-you need any help? I'm Field qualified for first aid.

-no, dudley, I think We got it covered.

The new look is much better.

[woman gasping]

What's your name?

-it's anne. -hi, anne, how are ya doing?

My name is mitch, and this Is jenna, and this is chris.

-I'm gonna have a baby!

-now, don't worry, We've done this before.

Now, we're going to cut Your bathing suit off.

Keep breathing, keep breathing.

Whoa, it's already Crowning, huh?

It's anxious to get a tan!

Ok, on three, I want you to push.

One, two, three. Push!

[woman screams]

Oh, there's the head!

Come on, keep pushing!

One, two, three. Push!

Come on, almost out!

He's coming! He's coming!

Push! Push!

He's almost here, I mean...

She's here!

You got yourself a little girl.

-it's a girl.

[baby crying]

-chris, get some smelling Salts for special agent dawson.

-ok, yeah, I think I got All of the stinger out.

Now, you aren't allergic to bee Stings or anything, are you?

Good, 'cause these things Can get real big, real fast.

Then anaphylactic shock Sets in and...

Don't worry about it. You're gonna be fine.

-lady, lady, lifeguard!

There's a man's head In the trash can!

It's all gross, Get it out, please!

-it's just a head, There's no body.

Someone must have Cut up the pieces

Like with a knife and Like, I can't stand it.

Over there! It's so gross!

It's over there.

It's right in that trash can.

[scary music]

[groans]

-morning!

-morning.

-are you ok?

The rip current is Very strong today.

You've got to be careful, ok?

Hello.

Hi.

-hi! -what's your name?

-willa, what's yours?

-jordan, is there Something wrong?

-I'm lost.

-well, let's see If I can help you.

-first aid is Right down in there.

They'll cool off that Sunburn for you two.

-thanks.

-enjoy your honeymoon.

I'm back.

So how's it going?

-not well, mr. Madison.

-is there a problem? -several.

Let's start with a problem.

Granted, your vocation is A professional lifeguard,

However listing sunblock

As a business expense Is not granted.

-no? -no.

-I thought you... -you shouldn't have.

Shall we continue Down our list?

-boy: put your Clothes back on!

-boy, oh boy, oh boy.

-alright, excuse me, Excuse me, please.

Let me through.

Hi!

-huh? Oh, hi.

-what are you doing?

-showering.

-could you just Grab this please?

-but I'm not drowning.

-just do it quickly, Discretely, thanks.

Ok, come on, show's over.

Thanks, bye.

You're the man from the Garbage can, aren't you?

-yeah.

I like to think of it as a Mobile home with an ocean view.

-well, sir, you can't Just do this, you know?

-no? -uh-uh.

What's your name?

-fella.

You know, when people say, "Get outta here, fella."

And "Fella, we don't like you."

That's the fella fella.

It saves introductions.

-right, fella, you're gonna Have to keep your clothes on

Or I'm going to have To call the cops, alright?

-yeah?

-right.

Oh, perfect.

Um, we'll just trade!

Nice and easy, on the Count of three, alright?

One.

Two.

Three.

-girl: lifeguard! Lifeguard!

-uh, what next?

-you see her anywhere?

-nope.

-man: hey, lifeguard!

[honking horn]

-driver: whoo-hoo!

God, I love the beach.

Hey, girls!

I'm going to catalina!

Whoo-hoo, catalina girls!

[engine struggling] -did you see that guy?

-he's lost, watch him.

-wash him?

-I said, watch him.

-what?

-woman: loser!

-driver: whoo-hoo!

[laughs]

-oh, hi! What?

Ah, come on, ah, come on now.

Wait, I'm going to catalina!

You wanna go?

We could run aw-- whoa!

What, oh hey, come on, what?

-great, good luck!

-what's up?

-I'm starving, this Day's been a nightmare!

Too busy to eat!

Who's your pal?

-his name's mikey, He can't find his parents,

So I'm gonna go help him.

-I'll help you In just a minute.

Come to me, You gorgeous sandwich, you.

-girls: hey, hey!

-ugh, the nightmare continues.

-this is capshaw, tower 12,

Requesting backup For porta-potty fire.

-alright, I'm gonna go help her.

Stay here, don't move.

[girls shouting for help]

-open the door, mikey.

-come on, man, that's Not funny, open the door.

-my sandwich, don't you Dare, you little brat!

Open up!

-come on, open the door!

[scoffs]

[ominous music]

-hey, you need a ride?

You look like you were losing Steam a little bit, huh?

Fella?

-uh-huh.

-well, it's a good thing that Fishing boat called you in.

What are you doing Out here so far?

-swimming for heaven.

-it's a pretty long swim.

-not bad one way.

-you live in trash cans, You take showers on the beach,

And you know what?

I feel sorry for myself because

I think everyone Forgot my birthday.

You can't give up, fella.

You just can't, you always Gotta hold on to some hope.

-hope is highly overrated.

-well, I've been holding On to it all my life,

I'm not about to give up now.

Come on, why do you Think I'm trying

To haul your butt out Of this water, huh?

I mean, I could Just let you drown.

-why didn't you?

-because I happen to think That your life is worth saving.

So, I'm not going to Let you give up today.

Uh-uh, not on my birthday.

Are you ready?

Grab on, I'm Bringing you in, ok?

-ok.

-the minister, the groom, And the blushing bride.

You know, you Should have cleared

Your little stunt With baywatch,

Before you decided on An underwater wedding.

And you, what are you Doing here anyway, huh?

You charged into a bad situation And made it even worse.

-they could have Been terrorists, An underwater attack.

The beach was covered, I was just offering help.

-don't.

Operation razorback Is your business,

And I'll help you because He is my president,

And this is my country And you asked me to,

But from now on operation Lifeguard is over,

On my mark, three-two-one, mark!

-he's pretty angry, huh?

-rodger, dodger, knucklehead.

[electronic power ballad]

♪ come try if you want it

♪ live life all your own

♪ know why you got it ♪

♪ so high in the zone ♪

♪ everyone has got their reasons

♪ but they've come here to win

♪ ohh

♪ live fast play hard

♪ one chance when it's all about the grind ♪

♪ think fast be strong

♪ outlast cause it's all about the grind ♪

♪ some lie some trusted

♪ ask why you will see

♪ this time you're busted ♪

♪ the crime a spree

♪ everyone has got their demons

♪ that they fight from within

♪ ohh

♪ live fast play hard

♪ one chance when it's all about the grind ♪

-who you holding now?

-I've got a 9-year-old african American girl here with me.

Her name is willa, She says she's lost,

She's wearing a Multi-colored swimsuit.

-great.

-found jenny's mom.

Still got carrot top And schwarzenegger.

-one, two, three, Four, five, six, seven.

-mom: make sure you get their Backs and their shoulders.

-excuse me, but, how many Kids do you have here?

-eight.

-wow, that's a handful.

It must be hard To keep track of.

-yeah, sometimes you turn your Back on them for a second and...

-yeah...

And you have an 8-year-old Son named mikey, right?

-well, yes, how did you know?

-lucky guess.

-well, he's right over...

Mikey?

Where's mikey?

-baywatch headquarters, This is capshaw speaking.

I found mikey's family.

[sirens blare]

[cheering]

-agent 1: sector 1, clear.

-agent 2: sector 2, Clear, heading your way.

[triumphant music]

-president: yeah, thank you.

-agent: this is Neptune, everything

Is clear sailing out here.

-so, you got beaches like This up in washington?

-oh, nothing like Southern california.

-hi, hello, how are ya?

[girls chatting]

[intermittent beeping]

[faster beeping]

-hey, hey! Over here!

I think it's a bomb.

-this is newman at 14.

I got this guy With a metal detector,

He's about 20 yards From my tower.

He's found something Buried in the sand.

He thinks it's a bomb.

-newmie, keep everyone away,

I'm going to alert The bomb squad.

-no, it's too late for That, take me there now.

Come on, Let's go, hurry! Go!

[sirens]

-hurry up!

Don't touch it!

It's a bomb, man, come on!

-give him some room.

-move back, move back.

Alright, I want You to move back.

Way back, move way back.

[siren blaring]

Ok, hold it, just stay there.

-he's on his way.

[heavy, audible breathing]

[crowd cheering]

[crunch sound]

-agent: get the Tuna back in the can.

We've got a beached Whale on a live torpedo.

Repeat, get the tuna Back in the can.

-newmie: ok, please don't Come any closer, just stay back.

-hey, hey! Stop!

-get back! Get back!

-it's not a bomb! -what?

-it's my intergalactic warrior. -huh?

-I'd forgotten Where I'd buried him.

You broke it, you big jerk.

[crowd laughing]

-dudley, the president's safe.

-he is? -yeah, let's go.

-ok.

-jerk.

[melancholy music]

-what a jerk.

[spaceship noises]

-thanks very much, Mr. President,

I really enjoyed the jog.

-so did I, mitch, you run a Real quiet, relaxing beach here.

-well, some days are A lot busier than others.

-yeah, same thing in my job.

If you ever get to washington, We'll run my route.

-look forward to it, sir. Thanks again.

-ok.

[siren blares]

[crowd cheering]

-yeah, thanks for the loan.

-hey, no problem. You know what?

Why don't you keep These as a souvenir?

-no, this is a day I don't Wanna remember, actually.

Mitch, I got a little Confession here,

Remember I told you About presidents bush

And reagan being in los angeles, How I protected 'em?

I didn't protect 'em,

I kinda just stood around Their cars, y'know?

When they were in meetings, Went off to the airport,

Watched air force one.

This was my first chance to do

Something really big And I screwed it up.

-you didn't screw it up.

-that wasn't even A bomb, mitch, come on.

It was a toy, It was a stupid toy.

-yeah, but you Didn't know that.

When you dove on it, Covered it with your body

To protect the president Of the united states, You did not know that.

-yeah, you're right.

-that took a lot of guts, More than most people have.

-you think so? -yeah.

-you really mean that? -absolutely.

-hey, you know, I've got a nephew,

Maybe I could use These after all.

Thanks a lot, Mitch, I'll see ya.

-ok. Hey, dudley, Tell your nephew,

When he wears those, not to Wear black shoes and socks.

-that's a roger wilco, pal.

-roger.

Phew.

-oh, don't worry, we'll Take care of everything...

-willa!

I've been looking everywhere For you, sweetheart.

Thank god, you're ok.

Is this your dad?

-yeah.

-thank you for taking such Good care of my little girl.

-sure, it's my job.

-willa told me She got lost on purpose.

-why?

-she wanted to spend Some time with you.

You see, my daughter Didn't realize,

That she could grow up And become a lifeguard

Until today, Until she saw you.

So thank you.

-thank you.

-from both of us.

-hi! -hi.

Fella?

Is that you?

-I didn't recognize me either.

It's actually arthur.

Listen, I just wanted To stop by to thank you

For saving my life This morning.

And also to thank You for reminding me

Of what hope is Really all about.

Oh, I got you a little...

Happy birthday, caroline!

And I hope you get Everything you wish for.

Bye.

-you have ten working days To pay the penalty, mr. Madison.

Make the check out to the Internal revenue service.

It's been a pleasure.

-so, you gonna take C.J. Out tonight?

-oh, no, no, no.

I can't afford to go out For at least ten years.

-so, what are you gonna do?

-go home, lie down, maybe cry.

-oh, poor baby.

Well, at least today's Finally over, right?

-you can say that again.

[sirens blare]

-we got a boat fire!

Multiple victims, Six or seven kids in the water.

Get in. -let's go.

Let's go, newmie.

[siren blares]

-where are they?

[suspenseful music]

Where are they?

[giggling]

-surprise!

[party noise-makers]

-yeah! -yes!

-we love you, baby!

[closing theme playing]