Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

-♪ some people stand In the darkness ♪

♪ afraid to step Into the light ♪

♪ some people need To help somebody ♪

♪ when the edge of Surrender's in sight ♪

♪ don't you worry

♪ it's gonna be all right ♪

♪ 'cause I'm always ready

♪ I won't let you Out of my sight ♪

-♪ I'll be ready -♪ I'll be ready

♪ whenever you fear

♪ oh, don't you fear

♪ I'll be ready

♪ forever and always

♪ I'm always here

♪ 'cause I'm always ready

♪ I won't let you Out of my sight ♪

♪ oh

♪ I'll be ready

♪ I'll be ready

♪ whenever you fear

♪ oh, don't you fear

♪ I'll be ready

♪ forever and always

♪ I'm always here

[rock music playing]

-hi.

[cheering]

♪ it ain't easy bein right ♪ it ain't easy workin overtime

♪ well I say you're funky

♪ and I know you think I'm fine

♪ just gimme something

♪ aw gimme something sweet

♪ I need a little action ♪ I need to wet my feet

♪ there's no need to Put up a fight ♪

♪ it can't be wrong if It feels so right ♪

♪ let's party on the weekend

♪ ooo let's give em some action

♪ let's party on the weekend time

♪ let's get a little crazy

♪ let's party on the weekend

♪ ooo I know you need just

-♪ a little bit of action -♪ let's party on the weekend time

♪ nothing wrong with having ♪ a healthy appetite

♪ nothing wrong with getting ♪ what you want

♪ after midnight

♪ let's party on the weekend time

♪ let's party on the weekend

♪ let's party on the weekend

♪ let's party on the weekend

-stephanie: okay, guys, Where do you wanna eat tonight?

-pierro's.

-oh, no, we had Italian last night.

-I like to eat at Pierro's every night.

-no, I'm kind of in the Mood for burgers and fries.

It's been that kind of a day.

-[scoffs] I know.

Can you believe it?

We're getting run ragged And mitch is basking

On some beach in the bahamas.

-he's not basking, He's on a case.

-yeah, following an heiress.

If she's basking, he's basking.

-you know, I told mitch and Garner they should've hired us.

I mean, you know We'd make great pis.

We're intelligent, we're Athletic, we're seductive.

-caroline's favorite Show is "Charlie's angels."

-oh, yes, yes, I Always pictured myself

As kelly, the beautiful, Sophisticated one.

-cj: I always Pretended I was farrah

And make my hair Really big and I'd jump

Out at my brother and I'd Go, hold it, lowlife, freeze.

-freeze.

-oh, boy.

-okay, steph, you can play, Too, you can be sabrina,

She's the smart one.

-why do I always have To be the smart one?

-oh, logan, come here, Come on, who are we?

-I've no idea.

-come on.

[stephanie laughing]

No, come on, stephanie, Do it, do it.

-no.

-keep doing it, please.

-she's the smart one.

-the three stooges.

-no.

-witches of eastwick?

-no!

-forget this, you Guys, look, I'm starved.

Let's go get dressed.

-we're charlie's angels, dummy.

-who?

-"Charlie's angels" was Classic television.

-yes, about three Beautiful private eyes

Who worked for some Guy named charlie

Who they never saw.

-he's always on the phone.

-but you knew it Was john forsythe,

So you pictured him In your mind any way.

-don't know, I didn't see It in tasmania. See ya.

-where are you going?

-meeting someone in my tower.

-[laughs] Excuse me, someone?

-no, it's a guy that I Know, we got mutual friends.

He called me and Asked me to meet him.

-uh-huh, have fun.

-bye.

-what was your Favorite episode?

-when they were in the circus.

-oh, I loved that one!

-I know and There's the trapeze.

-I liked the one where They were strippers.

-it's payback time, logan.

I've been waiting A long time for this.

First, I'm gonna get you, And then that stephanie.

What do you think, clint?

He's gotta ask Himself one question.

Does he feel lucky?

Well, do you, punk?

Go ahead, make my day.

[phone ringing]

-tower 16.

-tower 16? Tower 16?

Is that how we're going To play this, logan?

By the numbers, huh? [laughs]

-who is this?

-I got no respect, no Respect from anybody.

-what is this? What do you want?

-vengeance. -logan: what?

How'd you get through On this phone?

-I used to be an Electronics professor

Until an unfortunate Experiment with a lifeguard

Catapulted me into future shock.

Now it's time to return The favor, logan.

[phone zapping]

-who the hell are you?

-I'm your worst Nightmare, absolutely.

[evil laughing]

[explosion firing]

I'll be back, logan. You can count on it.

[boat engine roaring]

[knocking on door]

-stephanie: I'll get it.

So, who's winning?

-who do you think? Miss Gamblers anonymous over here.

-gin! -caroline: what?

Wait, can I just see This for a second.

-logan, what happened?

-the arson squad Just left the beach.

My tower was rigged to Incinerate with me inside it.

Did you tell them about That crazy phone call?

-yeah, they found out Where he patched in.

They said whoever did it Was an electronics expert.

-well, that's what He said he was, right?

-right, before Lifeguards catapulted Him into future shock.

Whatever that means.

The question is, was he After logan in particular

Or lifeguards in general?

-I'm sure he's after Logan specifically.

-logan, is there anyone you Know that might have reason

To, you know, get back at you?

-the short list, hon.

--you do have a tendency To make enemies.

-yeah, but none that would Want to roast me alive.

-obviously that's not true.

I mean, from the sounds of Things, all those voices,

Maybe there's a whole Group that's after you.

-I think you should work The switchboard tomorrow.

At least until The arson squad and the police

Come up with something.

-wish mitch was in town.

I'd hire his agency As bodyguards.

-wait a second, hire us.

Come on, guys, we're Charlie's angels.

-freeze, mister.

-cover him, jill.

-spread 'em!

-ignore them, that's what I do.

-I'll call you later.

-I'm sure the police will Find the maniac who did this.

-I hope so.

-take care. -logan: see ya.

-you know, I hear they're Making a movie version

Of "Charlie's angels."

-oh, really? Who's gonna play them?

-I don't know, But we'd be perfect.

-both: freeze!

-come on, you guys, cut it out.

-relax, sabrina.

[caroline laughing]

[buzzing]

-baywatch?

-I'm gonna make You an offer you can't refuse.

-what?

-hey, Rocky, how do you make

A lifeguard disappear?

-look, I don't know who you Are or what you're doing,

But you're interfering With lifeguard operations.

[buzzing]

-mayday, mayday! We're sinking, help!

-yeah, where? In your bathtub?

-the Boat capsized. Two!

Two in the water.

Can't hold on, help! Please!

-what is the Location of your boat?

Can you give me a landmark?

-outside Marina channel.

Two, three miles, please hurry!

-logan: scarab rescue one From canine 295, come in.

-295, this is scarab one.

-received a mayday from A capsized boat two to three

Miles outside of the marina.

Two victims possibly In the water.

-stephanie: we're on our way.

-hey, just be advised, This could be a crank call,

I've been getting them all day.

-roger, thanks for The alert. Let's go!

-all right, it's the real deal.

Yeah, there's two in the Water and neither is moving.

-okay.

You get the one on the left.

Okay, go!

-what the? It's a dummy!

-caroline! Let it go!

[coughing]

Caroline!

Come on, let's get You to the boat.

-what happened?

-looks like we were Targets, too, like logan.

-ah, jeez, miss piggy, it Looks like they are breathing

A welcome sigh of relief.

-hold this.

-that's because you're an Unqualified, incompetent,

Amateur bunglar, frog.

Ah, can it there, pig, or You'll end up like crispy bacon

With the other lifeguards.

-caroline: who is he?

-stephanie: I don't know, But we better find out.

-caroline: he was Watching us like

We were his entertainment.

-well, now, we know He's not just after me.

-why would some mad Man be after lifeguards?

-because he blames Us for being locked up

In a state mental institution.

-what, you found out who it is?

-jack ripley.

-that nut who held You and me hostage

In my tower last year?

-yes. He escaped from Camarillo three weeks ago.

Apparently, he's been Vowing to get even

With the lifeguards Who put him there.

-yeah, but we Didn't put him there.

The court found him Criminally insane.

-he blames us.

The police want us To stay off the beach

For a little awhile, at Least until he gets caught.

-whoa, you're gonna Let some nut case keep

You guys off the beach?

-well, if we're on the beach,

The public could be in danger.

I think it's a good idea, We should probably stay away

Just for a bit.

[logan sighing]

-are you sure you don't want One of us to stay with you?

-oh, you guys, Don't worry about me.

I gotta catch up on these Reports. Go to work.

-I hate being so Docile about this.

I mean, we know what Charlie's angels would do.

-that's right, they Would track down clues,

Find jack ripley's Lair and then nail him.

-right and nearly Get themselves killed In the process.

-wrong, they would use Their wits and their skills

To escape danger, Apprehend the criminal

And save the person in jeopardy.

-where's logan?

-he's staying on matt's boat, He thinks it's safer there.

-look, you guys get to Work, okay? But be careful.

Remember, we're not Charlie's angels.

-[sighs] I know, But what if we were?

Are you logan fowler?

-yeah, I'm logan fowler, why?

-hi, I'm kelly garrett.

-oh, hi, I'm jill munroe.

-I'm sabrina duncan. Townsend detective agency.

--charlie sent us to help you.

-come aboard.

-charlie: hello, angels, I Trust you're filling logan in

On this situation.

-of course, charlie.

-you told us logan was An old friend of yours,

So we're here to help Him any way we can.

-charlie: I Appreciate it, angels.

I wish this reunion Were taking place

Under happier Circumstances, logan.

-me, too, charlie.

-charlie: are you still Wearing that lucky ring

Around your neck?

-wouldn't be caught without it.

-good, the Angels will watch over you

Until we can put jack ripley Back where he belongs.

-thanks, charlie.

-keep in mind, Angels, that jack ripley

Is unpredictable And extremely dangerous.

-oh, we know, charlie.

He's a mechanical wizard With a section eight

In the military.

-that's right, he booby trapped

His own unit's headquarters.

-a delusional schizophrenic With multiple personalities.

-charlie: I'm sure You'll charm all of them

Into submission, sabrina.

You're in capable hands, logan.

-what about you, charlie?

-don't worry about me, angels,

I'm in capable hands too.

[laughing]

[boat horn blowing]

-ahoy! I'm afraid You're in my slip.

Would you mind moving your boat

So I could put mine Where it belongs?

Thank you very much.

-it's him!

-freeze!

-now is that any way To greet an old chum?

-cut your engines and put Your hands in the air, mister.

-do what she says.

-both hands or just this one?

Let me tell you something, Darlings, you know,

You three look marvelous, Absolutely marvelous.

-drop it, ripley!

-you talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?

There's nobody else around Here, who you talkin' to?

-I'll count to three!

-oh, archie,

They got guns!

-one.

-oh, jeez, there lady, Would you tell them to put

A sock in it over there?

Let me tell you something, Darlings, forget about him.

I am the one who has really Lost his head over here.

-kelly: what is it?

-jill: look out, it's a bomb.

-smokin'.

-hit the water, gang!

-what can I say? Some like it hot.

I feel the forces with me, luke.

[breathing heavily]

Cato, cato, This is inspector clousseau.

Where are you, cato?

[screeching]

My name is bond, james bond.

007, license to kill.

They say the safest place Is between a door jam.

Welcome to california. [chuckles] Just kidding.

Ah, a treadmill, perfect.

-so, you're saying logan Hired private detectives?

-oh, no, not exactly.

-actually a friend of his sent Them over to protect him.

-well, good, I hope they Can catch that maniac.

-girls, I'd like you To meet the angels.

This is stephanie, Cj, caroline

Meet sabrina, jill and kelly.

-it's a pleasure to meet you.

-nice to meet you.

-so, what's your plan For catching ripley?

-oh, we're going Undercover as lifeguards.

-any way we can help?

-oh, yes, how do You wear your hair?

Up or down for rescues?

-up if we have time.

-are you sure you're Qualified to be lifeguards?

-college swim Team, cpr training.

-advanced first-aid and Paramedics expertise.

-licensed to perform Open heart surgery.

[laughs] Just kidding.

Actually, I grew up on the beach

And I always fantasized About being a lifeguard.

-oh, really?

I always fantasized about Being a private eye like you.

-it's a very Rewarding profession.

-especially when you Put criminals away Where they belong.

Well, we better get to work.

-I guess we'll see You on the beach.

-thanks for the tip.

-bye.

-follow me, ladies.

-what is with those hairstyles?

-I think they're sexy.

-I think kelly's stunning.

You know, she's beautiful Yet sophisticated.

-well, I guess she's okay,

But sabrina's obviously The smart one.

Anyway, we better Get back to work.

-caroline: smart, since when Did brains get you anywhere?

-you'll find everything You need in here.

-thank you.

-thank you.

-oh, this must be for us.

-poor cj, so sad.

-what's sad, jill?

-well, she'd be Such a pretty girl

If she knew how To style her hair.

-I think caroline Is just adorable.

-yeah, she's nice, But I think stephanie's

Obviously the smart one.

This must be cj's.

-oh, this must be stephanie's.

-thank you.

-well, I hope it fits.

Oh, I'm so excited we Get to be lifeguards.

-everything excites you.

-I know, I can't help it, I just love adrenaline.

-you love everything, jill.

-I know, I can't help it.

-well, I think we Should split up.

Jill, you take the truck And patrol the beach.

Kelly and I will keep an Eye on stephanie and logan.

-I will keep an eye on logan.

-remember, we're not here to Mix business with pleasure.

-when have I ever done that?

-how about every case?

-excuse me, jill, you're The one who uses her looks

To catch a man.

-and you don't?

-of course, I do, I'm just A lot less obvious than you.

-it's gonna take More than our looks

To catch a jack ripley.

He is cunning, clever And worst of all, violent.

-no, no, no, no. He is clever, cruel,

And worst of all, deadly.

-oh, no, no, no.

He's maniacal, irrational, And worst of all, handsome.

-jill, I say worst of All violent and kelly

Says worst of all deadly and You say worst of all handsome?

-I know my weakness.

-well, control yourself.

-what do we know About this jack ripley?

-well, we know That when he was 9,

He was bit by a rabid dog.

Before he was cured, he Became demented and deranged.

Then, something he Saw split his ego

Into a hundred personalities.

-what?

-a performance by rich little.

-[gasping] -yes,

His deranged mind Just couldn't handle

All those celebrity Impersonations.

-what a horrible way To be driven insane.

-how do you think we Should handle him, girls?

-cautiously.

-I know, what if I wait Until he imitates tom cruise

And I pretend I'm nicole kidman?

-I don't think that's Going to stop him, jill.

-I could smile.

-as captivating At that may be, jill.

I think this will prove To be a lot more effective.

Freeze, mister!

-jack ripley is not going To be easy to capture

Even with our guns And our smiles.

Aside from his ability To disguise himself,

He's also an electronics expert.

So, jill, so you better Check out that truck

Before you take It out on patrol.

-don't worry, I'll go through It with a fine tooth comb.

-what do you think? Should We carry our own purses?

-these lifeguard bags Are a bit cumbersome.

-I think our Purses will be fine.

-do you think We'll still be able

To pass as real lifeguards?

-of course, no one is even Going to be able to tell

That we are undercover angels.

-well, I guess We should get changed.

-good thinking, kelly.

-I love this job.

-while jill's Patrolling the beach,

I'll keep an eye On headquarters.

-good thinking, I'll stay with logan

And make sure he's okay.

-let's go.

-so what do you think?

Do we look like real lifeguards?

-you both look great.

-wait, don't touch those Controls, keep running.

-why?

-just keep running.

Kelly, I need A flashlight and a mirror.

-what's going on?

-sabrina: it's Been tampered with.

-tampered? What do you mean?

-just keep running, whatever You do, don't slow down.

That's a pressure Sensitive switch.

-and a motion fly wing.

-an accelerator mechanism.

If you slow down Or try to get off,

The mechanism will be triggered.

-triggered to do what?

-you'd rather not know.

[beeping]

-what was that?

-it's speeding up.

[breathing heavily]

-keep running.

We gotta figure This out and fast.

[breathing heavily]

-it's speeding up again.

-kelly: hang in there, Logan. Keep running.

-it must be One of these two wires.

-whichever one you Think you should cut,

Cut the other one.

-that's what he Expects us to do.

-no, not if he expects That's what you'd expect,

He'd expect.

You gotta cut the one he Doesn't expect that you'd cut.

-unless he expects Us what we'd expect

And he did the opposite.

-can't look back, Which wire to choose?

Dead while you win, Alive while you lose.

-not if he'd expect what You'd expect he'd expect.

You have to do the opposite Of what he'd expected

You'd suspect he'd do.

-do something and hurry.

-maybe I should Just cut both wires.

-he'd never expect that.

-what if he did?

-whoa!

-are you okay?

-I'm fine. -sabrina: good.

Okay, logan, you Stay here, okay?

We'd better make a quick change.

-good thinking. -where are you going?

-well, he must be Somewhere nearby.

Jack ripley never puts on a show

Without being somewhere In the audience.

Kelly, let's go.

[breathing heavily]

-thank you very much, I'm Here all week. Try the veal.

Thank you, thank you.

-there he is!

We'll never catch him on foot.

-no, but we can Catch him on that.

Come on, sabrina.

-good thinking, kelly.

-what's happening, baby?

You wouldn't happen to be going

To heartbreak hotel, would ya?

-no, but I'd be happy to Drive you back to the hospital

Where you can get help.

-no, thank you, very much.

I'm afraid "Jailhouse rock" was Never one of my favorites.

You happen to see "Viva las vegas," baby?

-yeah.

-then, you know I Can handle myself

Behind the wheel, don't ya?

[jill screaming]

-excuse me, sir, We need to borrow that.

It's an emergency. It's a matter of life and death.

-hey, that's not mine.

-there.

-where are you going?

-now if I were To tell you that,

It wouldn't be A secret, would it?

-sabrina: bring me closer.

-the promise of Two little people going after

A hill of beans in this Crazy mixed up world.

Here's looking at you, Sweetheart. [laughs]

-are you crazy?

-crazy, crazy? You Want to see crazy?

I'll show you crazy! [laughs]

-freeze, mister!

-what are you? Goofy?

Kill us all! We're gonna crash!

[sighing]

-end of the line, jack.

-it's over.

-well, nancy told me There'd be days like this.

And that's the way it is. I'm going back to camarillo.

-you really are angels. You saved us.

-it's all in a day's work.

-we're just doing our jobs.

After all, We're charlie's angels.

[phone ringing]

-caroline.

Caroline? Hey, get the phone.

-oh, yeah, of course.

-thanks.

-hello? Yeah.

Wow, are you positive?

Well, thank you, thank You very much for calling.

-stephanie: what Was that about?

-looks like we Don't have to worry

About jack ripley any more.

Three eyewitnesses saw him Boarding a plane to brazil.

-well, at least they'll Be out of our hair.

-hey, can you imagine us with Hair like charlie's angels?

-no.

-well, I can.

-well, at least we can Go to the party after work

And not worry about anything.

-bye. -bye.

Charlie's angels. [laughs]

-hey, any of you Guys seen logan?

-well, I saw him When we first got here

But I haven't seen him lately.

-ladies and gentlemen, Please focus

Your attention on the curtain.

The magic show is About to begin.

-I didn't know there was Gonna be a magic show.

-I love magic.

-so does logan, I wish he was here.

-let's go over There. Thank you.

-thanks.

-ladies and gentlemen, Please welcome

The master of escape And illusion, raja wansey.

[applause]

-thank you, thank You very much.

I hold in my hand an Authentic straight jacket

From the state mental hospital.

In a moment, you will witness An effort to cheat death.

An impossible escape From a watery grave.

Should the escape Prove un-doable,

I insist that no one Make a rescue attempt.

Thank you.

-don't you think That's strange?

-what?

-that he actually mentioned That the straight jacket

Was from a state Mental hospital.

-oh, stephanie, What are you getting at?

-well, ripley escaped from one.

-come on, three people saw Ripley board a plane to brazil.

-I know, I know, I Know, but an illusionist

Can make people see things That don't really happen.

-and Now the tent drop.

-something is wrong here.

Logan.

Cj, caroline, that's logan down There in the straight jacket!

-are you okay?

-he's okay, let's go.

-you have learned Well, grasshopper.

You know, peg, You fight like a girl.

You wouldn't hit a man With glasses, would you, lady?

Lady, no!

-hasta la vista, baby.

-jack: I tell ya, I get No respect from anybody.

-so, where are we gonna eat?

-oh, I can't go To dinner tonight.

-neither can I. -why? Where are you going?

-they're holding open auditions For the "Charlie's angels" Movie.

-we're gonna show them that We're the real thing.

-well, what about me?

-well, what about you?

I thought you weren't Into the "Charlie's angels."

-well, I'm not, I mean, I wasn't.

I don't know, I guess, I think I'd make a pretty good angel.

-you think so, huh?

-yeah, just ask jack ripley.

-caroline: oh, really?

-really.

Freeze, mister!

[laughing]

-ladies, There's a phone call for ya.

-who is it?

-I don't know, some Guy named charlie.

-stephanie: excuse me!

-caroline: sorry!

-charlie? Is that you?

-charlie: Yes, angels, it's me.

I think I may have Another case for you.

[theme music playing]