Original subtitles

Something the matter?

No, no. I was just Looking at you.

Oh.

Oh, I was just trying to come Up with somebody to play you

In "Blood on the badge."

Play me?

In the movie.

There's gonna be a movie?

Well, I mean, you know, the Deal hasn't been finalized yet,

But my people are Talking to their people,

So I figure I should be Ready with some casting ideas.

Oh.

So I got a preliminary List of possible barneys.

Who you got so far?

Well, there's eli wallach, Rip torn, jason robards.

Charles nelson reilly?

No, no. That's for dietrich.

Oh.

Still mad at him, huh?

Mail call.

Harris.

Ah, thanks.

Captain, guess who Called this morning.

My daughter rachel.

So, what did she say, smart guy?

She'll be by about 12:00.

Oh, good.

Little rachel coming down, sir?

Yeah.

Can't remember the Last time I saw her.

You've never seen her.

Yes, that's true. I was Speaking collectively.

But I appreciate you Throwing it up in my face.

Don't mention it.

So, I guess she finally Graduated from hubert.

That's hobart.

Hobart... Of course. A fine institution.

I considered Applying there myself.

Oh?

But I became a cop instead.

Really?

Regardless, I'm sure you Must be very proud of her,

What with her being the Fruit of your loins and all.

Do you have my mail?

Yes, sir. It's addressed To the top banana.

Thank you.

I'll be downstairs In a pool of blood

If you need anything else, sir.

No, wojo's not here yet.

Figured that was the question.

12th precinct. Sergeant dietrich.

Yeah.

Okay.

Alarm just went off, Bender's sporting goods.

All right, you and, uh... Wojo.

I'm late.

I noticed. You're On with dietrich.

I got a real good Excuse. Want to hear it?

Not really.

Okay, I'll use it next time.

Uh, barn, I got a couple Leads on that davenport case.

I'm gonna check them out.

I came up with Another possibility.

Yeah?

Roy scheider.

I was leafing through The book, and...

Oh. For the movie.

Yeah.

For you.

Yeah.

Roy scheider, huh?

Yeah, he's a good actor.

Yeah.

He's already played a cop.

Mm-hmm.

He can dance.

Well, I'm not so sure he'd Want to slide across this floor.

But I'll certainly put him down.

Just a thought.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Arnold ripner. Always a pleasure.

Sorry, arnold, pickings Are a little slim this morning.

For your information, Captain, I already have a client.

Oh?

Joseph rubio.

You arrested him this morning On suspicion of burglary.

Not me. I haven't Done a thing all day.

Excuse me.

I'm afraid you're Misinformed, arnold.

We're not holding A joseph rubio.

- in you go, rubio. - it beats dying.

I happened to Witness it from my car.

You tuning in on Police calls again?

I'm not too proud.

Hi. We're home, bruno.

Am I on some kind Of a list or what?

This is joseph rubio.

He broke into the back of Bender's sporting-goods store.

Allegedly.

Who's the jerk?

He's my lawyer.

Right?

Arnold ripner. I'll have You out of here in 45 minutes.

The question is, Why'd we cuff bruno?

You tell me.

The charge is Reckless endangerment.

He had this set up Behind the back door,

Had it rigged so if Somebody came in the door,

They get an arrow in the head.

Just trying to save you Guys some paperwork.

Rubio's lucky he's short.

2 inches taller, we would have Had sweetbread shish kebab.

I didn't like saying that.

I got a right to Protect my store.

Yeah, but...

I tried everything else... Alarms, guard dogs.

I even rented cobras,

But they never come When you call them.

This is against the law, bender!

Yeah, I could have been killed.

Bender: so?

So?

So what we have here Is a flagrant violation

- of mr. Rubio's civil rights. - barney: all right.

Not to mention the Resulting mental anguish

And the loss of self-esteem.

I mean, this man May never rob again.

So sue me!

We are.

For what?

Your store, your home... Everything you've got!

Arnold, it sounds like a Lovely piece of litigation,

But we got to Book the man first.

Do you mind?

Fine.

Thank you.

Dietrich, you want to...

Bruno, let's do the apple trick.

You think I might get Some money out of this?

I hope not.

Thanks for the thought.

Captain, I'll be Returning shortly

- with a bail ticket For mr. Rubio. - fine.

And a subpoena for mr. Bender.

I got your subpoena right here!

Goodbye, arnold.

Is that harris?

Oh, that's that book He published last year.

"Blood on the badge."

Cute title.

What's it about?

It's sort of a day-to-day Journal about the squad room.

Do you mean sort Of a real-life account

Of happenings in this office, People who have come in here?

Something like that.

Goodbye, arnold.

I'll be back later.

Go chase an ambulance!

Thanks.

You know, you just Can't insult some people.

You want some Coffee, mallet head?

Two sugars.

You know, this is the third Time I've been arrested.

It's pretty weird for A law-abiding citizen.

Not really.

A lot of people you Wouldn't think of as criminals

Have gone to prison rather Than compromise their beliefs.

Oh, yeah?

Socrates, thoreau, gandhi.

You remember jim garner In "The great escape," huh?

Krauts couldn't Keep him in prison.

Yeah, but now he's got to Take lip from that snotty broad

In those camera commercials.

She ain't even his wife.

What's the point?

Can I help you?

No, I don't think so.

Hello.

Hello.

Can I do something for you?

I'm here to see captain miller.

Well, I'm younger.

He's upstairs. He'll Be down in a minute.

You want to sit and wait?

Thank you.

I haven't done anything yet.

Would you like some coffee?

No, thanks, wojo.

Barney: hi.

Well, hello.

You remember my daughter rachel.

Apparently I didn't make Much of an impression on him

The first time around.

Well, it has been, What, five years

Since you were here, you know.

Right, just before I left for school.

I remember fish was here.

- yeah. - and nick.

And, wojo, you were Wearing your karate outfit.

Well, I'm over that now.

So, what brings you down?

Oh, I'm meeting mom At bloomingdale's,

But I stopped by to see if you Wanted to have dinner with me.

Tonight?

Yeah. Reservations for 7:00.

I got tour command. I Won't be relieved till 10:00.

I understand.

You sound just like your mother.

Uh, barn, I'm, uh, free tonight.

You want me to cover for you?

Oh, thanks, but...

Well, then I'll take her out.

You want to go with me?

6:30 okay?

Great.

Bye, daddy.

I'll try to have Her back by sunday.

Harris: uh, barn?

- huh? - I just ran down those leads.

No luck.

Fine.

Sergeant harris.

I'm still here!

Captain, you might Want to hear this.

Sergeant, this is for you.

Oh, one of your fliers?

No, simply a notification Of impending legal action.

Say again?

Arnold drake ripner Vs. Ronald nathan harris

And bass and marshall Publishers, limited,

Publishers of "Blood on the badge,"

For libel, defamation Of character,

Unlawful use and Usurpation of likeness,

Seeking punitive and Subsequent damages

In the amount of $5 million.

You are out of the movie.

What's it all about, arnold?

I'm suing sergeant harris.

What about me?

Get a lawyer.

He libeled me in that book. He's gonna have to pay.

Hey, you realize, of course,

You're gonna get Absolutely nowhere

With this pathetic hodgepodge Of legalistic mumbo jumbo.

Is that right?

Yes, 'cause I'm gonna shoot you!

Harris.

Barney, look, don't Worry about it.

He really can't sue me. I Changed his name in the book.

He was totally fictionalized.

So?

So, as such, my book is Protected from any legal action.

That's a good point, arnold.

It was until bindram vs. Mitchell.

Who?

In which the supreme Court let stand

The 1979 decision of a California appeals court,

Which awarded a $75,000 Judgment to the plaintiff

For his libelous, even Though fictionalized, inclusion

In the defendant's work.

You believe this guy?

Look, arnold,

This book was published A year and a half ago.

Isn't that a little Late for a lawsuit?

I didn't even hear About the book

Till you showed it To me this morning.

Excuse me.

Give me that.

That's from newsweek, December 1979.

Did you tear this Out of a library copy?

You think old Rip-off's got a case?

Who knows?

No one, really.

Listen, wojo, about...

About rachel, I've been Giving it some thought.

I, uh...

I think it would be... Wise

If we kind of... Held off on it.

Held off?

Yeah.

You... You mean that you Don't want me to take her out?

Fine.

Everyone's talking.

There could be Nuclear holocaust.

Well, I say, if There's gonna be one,

Let's have it and move on.

For a lunatic, you Make pretty good sense.

Move over, scum.

I'm real sorry, harris.

Arnold, this means nothing.

No?

Well, in the first place, It hasn't been established

That the character In question is even you.

Character in question Has been referred to

As "A shyster attorney," "A parasitic lowlife,"

And "A bespectacled cretin."

Who else could it be?

I've already underlined A dozen passages

Describing despicable And unscrupulous behavior

That my own mother Would recognize.

Arnold, look, before You proceed any further,

I think you should know That my publishers and I

Will be retaining the best Lawyers money can buy.

Same here.

Hey, look, you Four-eyed sleazeball!

Page 57.

Hey, back off, 'cause if you think

I'm gonna let anybody Blow this movie deal,

You've got another think coming,

And you better get it quick!

Hold it! Hold it!

Hey, what's with Charles nelson reilly?

You still mad at me?

Look, this is a personal Matter between the two of you.

I would appreciate it

If you would settle It on your own time.

Is it because I'm not jewish?

What?

That's it, isn't it?

In the office, wojo.

Go ahead.

Hey, miller, you jewish?

You people got one Hell of an air force!

So, uh, what's going On with your lawyer?

I don't know.

He's supposed to be suing you,

And all of a sudden He's suing that guy.

For what?

I don't know. Some Book he wrote.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, you tried to kill me.

We can still talk.

It's just that I have a policy

Of keeping work And home separate.

I mean, otherwise, it can Get kind of complicated.

So it's, uh... Nothing personal.

It's just, uh... Just a policy.

That's a crock.

Huh?

Come on, barn, if you Think I'm not good enough

To take your daughter Out, just tell me.

Wojo.

I know that you don't have A very high opinion of me.

I mean, intellectually.

That's stupid!

See?

Wojo, this has nothing to do

With whether you're good Enough or smart enough.

What's left?

Uh, woj, you know sometimes

When you're, um... Late For work in the morning?

It's 'cause I'm not punctual?

It's more the reason You're not punctual.

Oh, you mean 'cause I sleep around a lot.

Uh, you do seem to Jump into relationships

Rather easily, yes.

So, you figure that the First time rachel and I go out,

We're gonna end up In the sack together.

That does seem to be a Pattern with you, yeah.

Well, you're probably right.

But, barn, look, even If something did happen,

It's not like it would be a New experience for her.

Huh?

Well, she's 22, right?

Just turned 22 last month.

Come on, barn.

She's been away at College for four years.

Well, what do you think They do up there... Study?

Just because a child is Free from parental guidance

Does not mean she's gonna Go wild all of a sudden.

She went to europe Last summer, right?

Yeah, a couple of months.

Well, there you go.

Yeah, it's just Some silly business

About defamation Of character, libel.

Yeah, I know you're really Gonna want to fight this thing.

Hmm?

Well, yeah, he could In all likelihood prove

That it was, in fact, he.

Yeah, it could be construed As an unflattering portrayal.

Hey, I only wrote it.

You published it.

Look, come on. Your Name is on the lawsuit, too.

Oh, what are you Gonna do, sue me?

Well... Well, get In line, buster!

Hey, am I in that book, too?

I'm leaving now.

Can I sue you, too?

Fine.

Where you going?

Just away.

Listen, harris, you cannot Run away from this thing.

Look, if you put your Hand on me one more time,

I cannot be responsible For your teeth.

Give him a shot. You'll feel better.

You here for the fight?

What's going on here?

Dad?

I'm back.

Hi, there. How you doing?

Can we go now?

Well, I'm not too sure.

There's three guys with guns In a supermarket on bleecker.

There may be hostages.

Okay, that's all of us. Break out some weapons.

Harris, I want a flight Of uniforms backing us up.

Hey, dad. You're not going, too.

Oh, don't worry about it, honey.

Uh, but don't tell your mother.

We'll do it another time.

Sure.

Great.

- barney. - yeah.

- the cars are all out front. - fine.

Ripner: harris?

Don't think getting killed Gets you off the hook.

- I can sue your estate. - eh!

Thank you, levitt.

Listen, stay up here And look after things.

Sir? Hooker?

That's my daughter!

I wasn't asking for myself.

Come here often?

- here you go. - thanks.

Anyway, the point is, I've Been at the 12th almost 5 years,

So I think I've earned the right

To a permanent Assignment up here.

Have you talked to My father about it?

I've mentioned it once or twice.

He always manages To sidestep the issue.

You know, when I really wanted Something from my father,

I used to climb up on his Lap, put my arms around him,

And whisper in His ear "I love you."

It may be worth a shot.

Is he gone?

Where's daddy?

Oh, daddy's coming.

Everything go all right?

We won.

What happened?

Nothing at all... Just a Couple of scared kids

Holed up in the Back of the store.

We took them down To juvenile. That's it.

I'm gonna tag their machine gun.

Thank you.

Take care of those Weapons, and you can go home.

Uh-huh.

See you early in The morning, barn.

So, is dinner still on?

I think we blew our reservation.

Why don't you try Donatello's on christopher?

You can generally Get a table there.

Is that okay with you?

Yeah, that's good. Let's go.

Bye, dad.

Bye-bye.

I'll see you tomorrow, carl.

- pick you up at 8:00. - okay.

Well, I'm going home now.

Listen, how'd it End up with ripner?

Oh, we worked everything out.

I'm gonna give him $5 million...

And he's gonna spend it.

I'm really sorry.

I mean, I had the Book under my arm.

Barney, hey, look, Don't worry about it.

It's really not your fault.

I mean, if you hadn't told him,

He would have found it Out from someone else.

Yeah, that's probably true.

Of course, you can Kiss off roy scheider.