Original subtitles

I'm back again.

Oh, what a pleasant Surprise, miss...

Brower. Remember?

Captain, he's at it again.

He is?

How consistent of him.

Harriet brower.

You remember. You arrested My husband last year.

We did, huh?

The tall man with The crazy eyes.

The nut with the gold.

Oh, yeah.

Of course.

Oh, yeah, he even sold You a gold coin, remember?

Vividly. It's gone down 28 bucks since I bought it.

What's the problem?

Too many speculators.

What is it that your husband Is doing, mrs. Brower?

He's going to war.

To war?

There's nothing in the papers.

I'm afraid you're not Making yourself clear,

Mrs. Brower.

You see, he started a Subscription to this magazine.

combat quarterly,

"The magazine of Professional mercenaries"?

For 25 years, he's been An appliance salesman.

Now all of a sudden, he Wants to be beau geste.

I don't understand, mrs. Brower.

Is your husband an Experienced soldier?

In 1948, he was in The national guards.

It didn't work out.

This is very interesting,

But I don't know if there's Anything we can do about it.

Last summer, he turned 50.

It was, like, everything Just went snap.

Uh, so why don't you Give sergeant harris

Some further information.

Possibly, we can help you.

Mrs. Brower, please, over here.

Thank you.

Hello.

Oh, hello.

Uh, yeah, hi. Uh, come on in.

Did I come at a bad time?

What are you doing here?

You forgot to give me the key.

Oh, yeah.

The way you shot out of bed,

I thought the room was on fire.

I was late.

Okay, well, I thought It would be easier

If I came to pick it up.

Uh... Pick what up?

The key.

Uh...

I could move a few of my Things over this morning.

I'll get that, barn. Hold on a second.

It's your phone.

12th precinct. Wojciehowicz.

Yeah?

Hi.

Hello.

I'm sergeant arthur Dietrich. Anybody helping you?

Yes.

That's a shame.

Yeah, I know where it is.

So are you a felon Or just visiting?

Hey.

Oh.

Barn, there's a Disturbance on 24th.

Okay, uh, you and I'll take dietrich.

Okay.

Let's go.

Stan?

Look, I'll be back in Just a couple minutes

So just make yourself at Home, have some coffee...

Wojo, don't you think an Introduction is in order?

Uh, yeah.

Uh, barney, this is, uh, nancy.

A man of a few words.

You don't have to tell me.

I guess I don't.

- wojo still out? - yes.

Uh, well, I'm sure he'll Be back very shortly.

Does everybody call him that?

Or is that just a private Joke between the two of you?

Uh, that's, uh,

Pretty much his Name around here.

Wojo.

That's strange.

Uh... So how long Have you known, uh...

Stanley?

We met a couple of months Ago in prospect park.

Ah. You jog, too?

No, I was just walking.

He was sitting on the Grass playing his flute.

Playing his flute?

He's pretty good, Don't you think?

Yeah, well, I'm sure he is.

He just started Hitting for no reason.

I had a right. He Put me through hell.

Can you stop yelling? This is an old building.

What have we got here?

That's frank mallory There, and this is nells finney.

We found them rolling Around in the gutter

In front of finney's business.

I was just trying To get a refund.

A refund?

Yeah, uh, finney here Owns a travel agency.

Jolly jaunt tours.

13 hours on a plane, Five hours in customs,

Two hours in a dirty taxi.

Mr. Mallory returned from A trip to europe this morning

That mr. Finney had arranged.

28 days of horror.

I told you it wasn't Our deluxe package.

Listen, my wife had Been planning on this trip

For 10 years.

It was gonna be the Honeymoon we never had.

We were gonna revitalize Our relationship,

And now she wants a divorce.

Did you know that?

Just take it easy. Take It easy, mr. Mallory.

- who's charging who? - it's mutual.

All right.

I'm gonna slide mr. Mallory Around here to your desk.

Here we go.

Wojo, you got mr. Finney.

Have a seat there, mr. Finney.

What's going to happen now?

Sergeant wojciehowicz Is gonna book you.

It's very ironic, isn't it?

How so?

The way different professions Use the same terminology.

If you say so.

I mean, I book People in my business.

You book people In your business.

It's very ironic.

Of course, around here, You don't need a reservation.

Book him.

I'll get up.

You're still here, huh?

Listen, I know that you Have lots of work to do,

So I'll just get going.

I'll see you.

Stan.

Yeah?

The key.

Oh.

Now, uh... The thing Is, this is the, uh...

This is the only key I got, you know, so...

I could have one made.

Would you hold your Horses for a minute?

The problem apparently Started two weeks ago

When the price of Gold began to drop.

It made him crazy.

He became withdrawn and moody.

Yes, I remember.

And then, suddenly, he saw that,

And he's got another Magnificent obsession.

She's talking about This little ditty.

"Attention, adventure seekers.

"Mercenaries needed now,

"Persons with military Or intelligence skills.

Make that big Money in overseas..."

"Hot spots."

"Brookburn enterprise At 740 west 44th street."

That's where he is right now.

Well, I'm still not convinced

That there's anything Illegal about this.

Well, we're coming To that, barn.

You see, apparently, Brookburn enterprises

Also supplies its Applicants with weapons.

Last week, he brought Home a bazooka.

Maybe you better check it out.

Okay.

Take a couple of Uniforms with you.

Right, barn.

Excuse me.

I'll, uh, I'll see you later.

Uh, where are you going?

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have Come in the first place.

Wait. Ho, ho.

Can't you just wait a second?

What for?

So that we can discuss it.

We discussed it In atlantic city.

We discussed it in the poconos.

We discussed it During the day, at night,

Standing up, lying down.

Shh.

You know, a guy needs a...

A little time to think Something like this through

Without having it Crammed down his throat.

Excuse me.

I've got to go.

Well, hold on a second.

Very nice to have met you.

Hey.

Hope it wasn't on account of me.

Okay, right this way.

I know, I know. I've Been here before.

Uh, he hasn't.

You get a big kick Out of this, don't you?

- I'm doing it for you. - I don't want you to!

Hey, hey.

You remember captain miller?

You can't stop Me. This is america.

You do remember mr. Brower.

Now I do.

A man has got a right To give his life meaning.

A man has got a Right to participate.

In what?

In the ebb and flow Of current events.

That's very conscientious Of you, mr. Brower,

But your wife is very Concerned for your safety.

I don't care what she told you.

I want you to Understand one thing.

I have thought this Thing over very carefully

And very calmly.

This is not the Act of a crazy man.

Look at the eyes, the eyes.

My eyes always look like this.

I've had pictures When I was a little kid.

Why don't you have a seat?

You're a very sick Woman, harriet.

Coming from you, That is a compliment.

Oh, really?

Mr. Brower, why don't You have a seat, huh?

Barn... This is charles dundee.

Colonel dundee.

Colonel, are you Presently in the army?

Several.

I take it you are the Commanding officer?

I'm captain miller, yes.

He's the main honcho over At brookburn enterprises.

I'm the president and Supervising officer

Of worldwide operations.

Got a room above a pizza Joint over on 44th street.

We like to keep a low profile.

You also like to keep A couple of firearms.

I've got a right to secure My place of business.

Barn, 36 assorted small arms,

14 heavy-caliber semi And automatic weapons,

56 pieces of assorted Pyrotechnics,

Two flamethrowers,

And an m-12 anti-tank gun.

Expecting trouble?

I keep it mostly for Sentimental reasons.

Oh.

According to your advertisement,

You run some kind Of recruiting agency.

We're looking for A few good men.

I see.

Is, uh... Is that one of them?

- brower is a good man. - mm-hmm.

You would send a 50-year-old Appliance salesman off

To fight in some guerrilla war?

You say "War" like there's Something dirty about it.

Must have slipped out.

Captain, war is the one Thing we can depend on

In a crazy, mixed-up, Uncertain world.

Why don't you have a seat

Over at sergeant harris' desk?

He'll get some further Information from you.

Thanks, barn.

Mr. Dundee.

Colonel.

I... I like her And all, but, uh...

It's not exactly like She's fresh off the vine.

Oh?

I mean, she never Walked the streets.

Oh. Sorry.

It's been, uh, Strictly... Telephone.

But that's all over with now.

I'm sure.

I don't know what it is, barn.

I mean, I... I always Seem to get hooked up

With the "Fallen women."

Yeah.

Remember wentworth?

She was a cop.

Yeah.

But she reminded me of a hooker.

It's like I need to think

That they need saving...

And I'm the only guy in The world who can do it.

Maybe it's... Maybe It's just that...

That you can see... Worthwhile qualities...

Vulnerability, Even spirituality...

That other people miss.

I asked her to move in with me.

I think I made a mistake.

Well, look, it's always tough

To make any kind of commitment.

I can't say anything To you other than, uh...

Go with your feelings.

That's the problem. My Feelings keep changing.

I mean, uh...

It's like, while, you know, We're fooling around,

I think, "Great, let's do Something permanent."

A few minutes later, I Start getting doubts.

Perfectly natural.

You know what my problem is?

I'm a prisoner of My biological urges.

Sorry to hear that.

I mean, it's like your sex life

Is running the whole show.

You remember what I mean.

Vaguely.

Well, I mean, you're Above all that now.

Not entirely.

Oh. Yeah, sure.

Approximate date you Purchased the weapon?

You ever consider it?

Consider what?

Merc work.

Merc work?

Half dozen places in africa.

You could name Your own ticket...

Angola, ethiopia, the congo.

No, thanks.

Why not?

I can't wear khaki.

How'd you let me miss that?

What?

The congo.

I've just about had It with your sarcasm.

You should be grateful You even got to go to europe.

Big deal. Everybody's Been to europe.

I haven't.

You're kidding.

I haven't been anyplace.

I thought you people went On these special junkets.

Sure, just take off, huh?

Who's gonna watch the store?

Oh, yeah. I know what you mean.

You people taking off

For london, rome, Rio de janeiro.

I'm stuck in a cold, filthy City in a box of an office.

I didn't realize...

I know you didn't realize it.

Staring all day At travel posters

Of cute little girls In native costumes...

Day after day staring

At that damn poster of greece.

Aren't they beautiful?

Rhodes, corfu, lesbos...

Warm, blue water, music, ouzo.

Take it easy, finney.

Oh, god.

I want to go someplace!

Harriet, the opportunities Are incredible.

Listen, a few years ago,

A band of mercs captured An island off africa.

They owned the whole Country. They were kings.

Oh, phil, if something Happens over there,

That solves your problems,

But I still have the rest Of my life to get through.

But, harriet, I Can do something.

I can affect something.

Oh, phil, I need you Here, not 5,000 miles away.

Well, all right, maybe I Don't have to go to africa.

Maybe I could go To the caribbean

Or south america Or maybe mexico city.

What are you going To do, commute?

Phil... I want you here.

I need you.

Don't do that, harriet.

What?

Turn me on.

Oh, barney, I, uh, finished Checking out the colonel.

He's got a collector's License for the weapons.

Oh, how about Brookburn enterprises?

Tacky, but it's legal.

Anything else you need, captain?

Not at the moment, colonel.

Thank you for your cooperation.

My pleasure. Ready, brower?

Look, uh, colonel, There's, uh...

There's been a change in plan.

I can't go with you.

Oh.

It's, uh... It's my wife.

She's unstable. I Can't leave her alone.

Well, that's too bad. It Would have been great fun.

Yeah.

But... There'll be Other chances...

Middle east, asia, cleveland.

Touch of humor.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks.

Don't mention it.

Phil?

Yeah.

Can we go?

Yeah, we can go.

Oh.

Oh, thank you so much.

Anytime.

Everyone. Oh, Captain, thank you.

Everyone.

Good luck, mr. Brower.

Be seeing you.

Yeah, I'll bet you Anything I'll be seeing you.

Captain, see you around.

Probably.

We're gonna keep a little Eye on your collection.

No problem.

Oh, uh...

You know, a man With your experience,

You'd be a major, easy.

Captain's plenty.

Anybody else?

- no. - no, no.

Stand easy, men.

Captain, I checked mallory And finney for priors.

They're both clean.

Fine, gentlemen, we have No reason to hold you.

Want to hold each other?

Huh?

Who is charging whom?

Well, if it's all Right with you,

I just want to get out of here.

Good. Mr. Mallory?

I just want to get to bed.

I'm starting to hallucinate.

Fine.

Let them loose.

That's an interesting Tactic you use.

What's that?

Whenever we have assault cases,

You always put the two Combatants in the cell together,

Give them the Opportunity to reconcile.

Thank you.

Or beat the hell out Of each other again.

Well, I have faith In human nature.

I figure two intelligent adults,

Given the opportunity...

I better get them out of there.

Yeah, hello. Uh, is nancy there?

Oh, yeah, right.

Well, then I'd like To leave a message.

Tell her, uh...

Tell her stan Will be home at 6:00.

Stan.

She can bring her stuff Over any time after that.

Right. Thanks.

Why not?

Good luck.

Thanks.

Hey, barn?

What did you think of her?

Well, we only chatted briefly,

But... What I saw, I liked.

Yeah.

She's pretty special.

She must be.

You never played Your flute for us.

No, she's not a... A Permanent guest there.

She's just, uh, there a lot.

Okay, then just give Me the bar, all right?

Yeah, hello?

Uh, just a minute.

You got a blonde There at the bar?

She's about 5'7".

She's got blue eyes, nice build,

Name is nancy.

I got your message.

Never mind.

Where you been?

Been calling all over.

Yeah, I know.

Uh, come on in.

Thanks.

Here, I'll get your stuff.

You got a lot of stuff.

Nice.

Here. Hmm.

Have a seat.

I'm okay.

I'm sorry about what Happened this morning.

It really doesn't matter.

Well, uh, do I get The grand tour?

Yeah, sure. That's the kitchen,

And in there's the bedroom

And, uh, bathroom.

And this is?

Family room.

Come on, sit down.

I'll help with that.

I know it ain't much.

Oh, I like it.

It's you.

Rumpled but comfortable.

Well, it's got possibilities.

Well...

Here I am.

Yeah.

Did you eat dinner yet?

No, I haven't.

Want to go out?

That's all right, I can Stay in and fix something.

Sure, why not?

Well, I might as well start

Getting the hang Of your kitchen.

Well, there's not that Much to get the hang of.

Where do you keep your food?

Uh, I haven't had a chance To go shopping recently.

Come on, let's just go out And get a pizza, all right?

Or chinese.

Well, if you want to Go out, we'll go out.

Yeah, right. Uh...

Okay, I just thought, you know,

Since you hadn't had Anything to eat... Uh...

Well, sit down.

You know, we usually Don't have this much time.

Usually grab a bite to eat,

Whip up to the hotel Room, and that was it.

I enjoyed it.

Oh. So did I.

I just meant that we Never had much of a chance

To talk about things, you know,

Find out about each Other's interests.

Yeah. Uh...

I like hockey.

That's interesting.

There's a game on right now.

Well, please put it on.

It ain't, uh, that great a game.

When do you take the gun off?

I don't know. No, Uh, particular time.

Whenever the mood strikes you?

I-I don't really, Uh, think about it.

What, does it bother you?

I don't believe in them.

I don't think they're necessary.

Well, what good's A cop without a gun?

The police in london Don't carry guns.

Maybe they can't afford it.

You know, they're not Doing too good over there.

I just meant that it would be Nice if no one had to use a gun.

And anyway, I Think men like them

Because it's a macho Thing, you know?

Psychologically speaking,

It's like having Another male organ.

What?

That's right.

Where'd you... Hear A... Dumb thing like that?

A psychologist told me.

And you believed him?

Psychologists don't lie.

Not lying is part of their work.

Trouble is, you don't know When somebody's putting you on.

Maybe.

I mean, I guess he Really got you there.

I guess so.

What did you go see a Psychologist for, anyway?

I didn't.

Came to see me.

What time is it?

9:12.

I guess I better go Unpack my things.

Hmm?

Oh, yeah, uh...

The, uh... Closet's In the bedroom.

Fine.

We need plants.

Why?

I'll have to move your Shirts to one side, okay?

Yeah, sure.

Stan?

Yeah.

Can I have one of your drawers?

Yeah, w-w-w-whatever you need.

I'll have to move Your underwear.

I'm gonna put it on.

Put what on?

The hockey game.

Oh.

I like the bed.

Nice and firm.

Hey, I'm going out.

Out? Why?

Get some chinese food.

I'll be back in 30 minutes.

Well, I don't care Much for chinese food.

Well, I'd like some Chinese food.

Oh.

I mean, you can't Watch a hockey game

Without chinese food.

I've heard that.

- I'm back. - hi.

Sorry I took so long.

I decided...

Wh... What did you do?

Oh, I just straightened Up a little.

I threw out all The old newspapers,

And I hung up your clothes.

Well, how am I going To find anything?

I just put them up on hooks.

Yeah, but the way I had Things organized, like...

Uh, never... Never mind.

I set the table.

You see, perfect etiquette.

Salad fork, regular fork,

Soup dish on plate.

Uh, I got pizza.

I thought you were Getting chinese.

No, all the decent Chinese places are closed.

I think it's something The president just did.

Good.

I guess we won't Need all of these.

Oh, no, no. Hey. Uh, leave them.

It looks nice. Come on.

Here you go.

Hey, that's a big pizza.

Well, I usually eat a whole one.

You know, I mean...

You don't eat... Just Eat as much as you...

It's gonna be all right.

Want a beer?

No, I made some tea.

I had tea?

I had some in my purse.

Oh.

Well, uh, help yourself.

Tv announcer: what a shot.

You don't mind if I turn back On the hockey game, do you?

No, go ahead.

Good pizza.

You know... About the Only thing I know about you

Is the kind of food you like.

Uh-huh.

You like everything.

So that's not even anything.

I mean, I don't know Where you were born

Or where you grew up

Or what kind of Books you like to read.

I don't know much About you, either.

That's true.

So we're even.

Want some garlic bread?

No, thanks.

You know, you'd think with Two people in our situation,

They might be a little Curious about each other.

Mm-hmm.

Isn't there something You'd like to know about me?

Nothing in particular.

Where I was born?

My political affiliations?

My favorite color?

How'd you get started hooking?

Turquoise.

Hmm?

Turquoise... It's My favorite color.

How'd you get started hooking?

Why?

You wanted me to Ask you a question.

That's what I'm curious about.

It's hard to explain.

Take your time.

Rangers are dead anyway.

It's 5-2 in the last period.

Look.

I would... Just go out with men.

We'd have a nice time,

And the next day, they Would send me something.

You know, flowers, candy,

Tv sets, toaster ovens.

Uh-huh.

Most of the time With the sales slips,

So if I wanted to,

I could return Them for the money.

Uh-huh.

After a while, I...

I just got tired of going back And forth to department stores.

So after a while, they Started giving me cash.

And you never Suspected anything.

Look, it wasn't like I took on Everybody that came my way.

I only went out With men I liked.

How'd you know you liked them?

They had to be a certain type.

Yeah, like what?

Good sense of Humor... Nice build...

Light eyes, fair.

There must be hundreds Of guys like that.

There are thousands.

Hi.

Looks real nice.

Just something I bought.

Don't think I've seen you, uh, Wearing anything like that.

Well, I-I sort of figured

This was sort of A special occasion.

Listen, I could take it off.

No.

I don't mind it.

I'm flattered.

Game still on?

Yeah.

What's the score?

Uh, 97-103, knicks.

It's basketball.

I guess if you wanted, you Could watch a game 24 hours a day.

Probably.

Hey, all right!

You don't know anything About basketball, do you?

No.

Or hockey.

Sorry.

Oh, that's okay.

I'm just... Feeling You out, you know?

I'm going to bed.

Okay, uh, I'm gonna, uh, Watch the rest of the game.

Is there any more on after this?

No, after this is just, You know, movies.

Okay.

I'll be in the bedroom.

Mm-hmm.

In the bed.

Yeah.

I'll see ya.

Huh?

Good morning.

Oh, hi.

I made some coffee.

Okay.

What time is it?

A little after 6:00.

In the morning?

That's right.

Well... See ya.

What are you doing?

Just leaving.

Why? What happened?

Nothing happened.

I had a very quiet night.

Well, hey, I fell asleep Watching television.

Yeah, I know.

I waited up for you.

I kept thinking,

"He'll be back in a Couple of minutes

Right after 'charlie chan.'"

Well, it wasn't that Great a mystery, you know?

I figured it out, and Then I guess I fell asleep.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

It gave me a little Time to think.

About what?

About all this.

Well, what about it?

What about it is...

This is not a very good idea.

Well, I'll be seeing you.

Hey, hey, ho, wait a minute.

I mean, what, you get Your nose out of joint

'cause I didn't carry on like Some john on a quickie weekend?

Thanks.

I needed that.

All right, freeze!

I mean, hold it.

I mean, uh, you can't go now.

Why not?

Because you hid my clothes.

I won't be able To find anything.

Sorry, I didn't mean To confuse you.

Yeah, well, you don't just Walk into somebody's home

And make everything nice.

It won't happen again.

See you.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah. Hi, barn.

Really?

Well, guess I kind Of lost track of time.

Uh, barn, I got a sort Of personal crisis here.

Uh, listen...

I'll be in... I'll be right in.

No, no, no, no, no. I'll be in.

Uh, thanks, barn,

But, um, there isn't Anything you can do.

Yeah, I appreciate that.

Barn, could you make it quick?

Uh, I'd kind of like To keep the line open.

Yeah, right. Okay, bye.

How you doing?

Fine.

And yourself?

In the pink.

So, you got my message?

Yeah, everybody Told me you called me.

Well, good.

Everybody told me it Was official business.

Not exactly official business.

I just wanted you to Know it was important.

Well, I'm here.

Come on in.

What for?

I just want to see you again.

Why, can't you find your shirts?

They'll turn up sooner or later.

I'm sure.

I thought that, uh...

You might want to Take another shot at it.

You know, uh, start All over and, uh...

Try it again.

Oh, I don't know.

Well, why don't you Just, uh, stay a few days

And think it over?

I really don't think You want me here.

Why? 'cause I watch some Ball games on television,

And, uh, I sleep on the couch?

No. Because I think we Do fine in atlantic city,

But I really don't think We're gonna make it here.

We can make it here if We go a little slower,

I mean, establish a Few ground rules.

- ground rules? - yeah.

Such as?

Such as, uh, simple, Ordinary things

Like not messing with The other guy's clothes.

All right.

And no redecorating Without mutual consent.

All right.

But no watching tv after 11:00.

Okay.

But no plants until we know If we're gonna last or not.

No plants?

All right, no plants.

Oh, but how about keeping a lid

On snide remarks about Former occupations?

S-sure.

I guess I should unpack.

You can do that later.

I got to go.

What?

I'm an hour and a Half late for work.

Oh.

This has nothing to Do with you, believe me.

I believe you.

It's some kind of conspiracy.

I keep trying to make It to work on time,

And every day, Something new happens.

My psychologist said That habitual tardiness

Is an expression of ego, a Calling attention to oneself.

Yeah, he was full of Fascinating things, wasn't he?

Uh...

Hey, you forgot your gun.

No offense.

Tv announcer: what a shot.

Shower's free if you want it.

Thanks.

It's pulsating real good.

Really gets your blood flowing.

Uh-huh.

Score still 3-2?

4-2.

Okay, then... I'm Gonna go to bed.

Okay.

You coming?

The game's still on.

Yeah, but you can read about It tomorrow in the paper.

I'm just trying to learn.

I want to be able to Share in your interests.

I got other interests, Too, you know?

I'll be there in a little while.

Oh, nice shot!

Oh, beautiful! Beautiful!

Mm-hmm.

You know, uh, when You really think about it,

It's kind of silly, a bunch Of grown men on skates

Chasing some big checker around.

That's number 18.

Do you know who number 18 is?

No.

He's good.

I'm gonna take another shower.