Original subtitles

Come on, officer.

I gave you all the Information already.

Mr. Ramsen, I need the License-plate number

On the stolen vehicle.

Ramsen 1.

All right.

You got two cars?

No.

Number 1 stands for me.

I see.

Listen, I don't Care about the car.

I care about the $20,000 worth

Of beautiful furs inside.

Yeah, I understand.

You were in the back Of the shop at the time.

Yes, and I carried the Furs out of the back,

Put them in the back of the car,

Went back inside To get my invoices.

I come out, and the Guy's jumping into my car

And pulls away.

You get a good look at him?

You're damn right. I Started screaming at him.

"Stop, thief! Get Out of my car!"

Like that.

He didn't stop, huh?

No, he just drove away.

And then...

He made this obscene Gesture at me.

Cheeky little devil, wasn't he?

Yeah, can you imagine that?

Here it is... Third Article this week.

Wonderful.

Just listen to this.

"A source requesting To remain anonymous

"Said that the merchants Would make their payments

"To a bagman who Would then split his take

With his fellow detectives."

If somebody's got something,

They ain't splitting it with me.

"Total payments were estimated

At over $170,000 annually."

How much is that Divided by four?

How can a paper get away

With printing those lies, barn?

It's freedom of The press, wojo...

Comes under the umbrella Of the first amendment.

Yeah, well, what about Bearing false witness

Against one's neighbor?

I said "Amendment." That's a commandment.

So?

- subtle difference. - I agree.

Look at that.

"One of the victims, who Refused to be identified, said

"That the bribery Kickback system

"Involved various Detectives in the 3rd, 12th...

27th, and 31st precincts."

"Requesting to Remain anonymous."

I'd like to find that guy And rip out his vocal chords.

Cops taking bribes.

Personally, I wouldn't care If the cops did take bribes.

Thank you.

I figure you got it coming.

You guys are out There risking your lives

Protecting us every day.

So, if you need a little...

Supplemental income,

- what's the harm? - mm-hmm.

Nice coat.

Hmm?

Oh. Hey. Thank you.

A gift?

So I busted this john On a lewd and lascivious,

And he says to me...

"Stereo is a big Improvement over mono."

Tell your boss I'm here.

Stereo is two.

One at each side.

Ah, never mind, For crying out...

Lieutenant scanlon.

Captain miller.

Somehow I felt it in my bones

That we'd be seeing you today.

Oh, this is going to be a Special day, though, captain.

This is mr. Sanders.

Now, mr. Sanders is a Consultant to the department.

- mr. Sanders. - how do you do?

It's a tough question Nowadays, mr. Sanders.

Yeah.

Well, as you know, captain,

I'm here to ask questions About certain allegations.

For want of a better word.

You want a better word? I Got a better word for you.

Scanlon, why don't You just get to it, huh?

What did I tell you About this guy, huh?

Bottom line.

Uh, captain, with the Help of mr. Sanders,

We're going to ask Questions about you

And your boys.

With the help of mr. Sanders?

Go ahead, tell him.

Captain, my firm has Developed a device

That, with the proper Execution, can measure a pattern

Of vocal stress and response

To a set of prepared questions.

Whoa. Are you Talking lie detector?

Lie detector?

You see, that's the first thing

That jumps into people's minds.

Well, what is supposed To jump into my mind?

Captain, the device Measures vocal stress,

That's all.

You know what causes Vocal stress, don't you?

Guilty consciences.

Am I getting warm?

Proponents of these devices

Believe there are certain Audible micro-tremors

In the voice

That under stress These micro-tremors

Are said to flatten measurably,

Thereby indicating The possibility of a lie.

Precisely.

Critics, however, refer To this as so much sheep dip.

- that's a lie. - prove it.

Uh, excuse me.

Are we required to Submit to this device?

Not if you think it might Make you look bad, no.

You could take the fifth.

Want to?

Hey, why don't you just Come ask us straight out?

Huh?

Harris, did you take any bribes?

No.

See?

Harris doesn't lie, so You can take your machine

And stick it up your Internal affairs.

Sanders.

Wojo, wojo. Nothing for wojo.

Harris, it's a letter From the new yorker.

Hey.

Rejection slip, I think.

How do you know?

Same envelope The others came in.

Very observant of you.

Oh, sir.

I just want you to know, sir,

That most of the uniforms In the building feel

That what's being written About you detectives

Is a bunch of baloney.

Thank you, levitt.

Tell the men we appreciate it.

Betting shows You a 3-to-1 favorite

For acquittal, sir.

Hang in there.

3 to 1.

How'd it go?

They couldn't break me.

Come on.

Barn, I mean, it was A little unsettling,

But all you got To do is stay calm.

Oh, god.

Wojo, I'm telling you. You do not have to...

Oh, I'm gonna be All right, barn.

Don't worry.

Have a seat, please, sergeant.

Go on, sit down. It's all right.

What am I supposed to do?

Well, first, we're going to Determine your stress pattern.

I'm going to ask you a series

Of seemingly Innocuous questions,

And I want you to Answer truthfully.

So just try and relax, All right, sergeant?

Okay.

All right. Is your Name "Wadjawitz"?

No.

- sergeant... - what's all that noise about?

Try and relax.

You appear to Be very, very, uh...

I'm high strung.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I, uh...

My mother always Says I'm high strung.

Oh. Do you like your mother?

What kind of garbage Is that supposed to be?

Sergeant, this is Only for testing.

Yeah, well, just leave My mother out of it!

I was only trying...

Take it easy. Take it easy.

Go on, sit down.

Yeah, right. Got it.

You're in luck, mr. Ramsen.

I am?

Uh, barney?

A patrol car recovered Mr. Ramsen's vehicle

With the furs and The suspect in it.

- I'll go pick him up. - good.

I don't believe that.

There's a lot of That going around.

I mean, isn't it rare somebody Gets caught that fast?

Extremely rare, mr. Ramsen. You're a very lucky man.

Yeah.

I'm almost blessed.

That damn machine Is calling me a liar.

First it said I didn't Like my mother.

What?

Yeah, and then it starts Beeping its buns off

Every time I say I'm Not taking bribes.

I believe there are Definite patterns...

I got a definite pattern For you and your machine.

Anyway, I'm talking to My captain in his office.

Come on.

Gotcha.

Legally, this does Not mean a thing.

It doesn't?

No.

However...

Any results of any tests

Can be entered into any report,

Simply because you Volunteered to take the test.

But I didn't volunteer For anything.

I told you you Didn't have to take it.

But if I didn't take It, I'd look guilty.

That's called volunteering.

Barn, if that goes on my record

That I wasn't telling the truth,

You know, that I'm a liar, That I can't be trusted,

I've had it as a Law-enforcement officer.

That's true.

It is?

I mean, I wasn't expecting You to agree with me here.

You and me got Unfinished business.

Seeking the truth?

Right on.

Scanlon. It's all yours.

Soup's on.

Dietrich.

Yo.

You're up.

But only if you consent.

I insist.

This one you got to watch.

All right, come on. Get inside.

Hey, man, these are Legs, not wheels.

That's him. That's the one Who made the obscene gesture.

I'd do it again if I could Get these cuffs off.

Hey, look, pellegrini. Cool it.

Hey, I'm hostile to society. What do you expect?

What have we got here?

Mario pellegrini.

He's a self-proclaimed Antisocial.

This is captain miller.

Oh, another Authoritarian figure.

Pleased to meet you, big shot.

Oh, hey, he's tough.

He doesn't intimidate... Rough customer.

And don't forget stupid.

He ran a red light

And got caught with The car and the furs.

Hey, I got convictions on My record like burglary,

Dealing drugs, assault With a deadly weapon.

You expect me to obey The rules of the road?

Put this thing Somewhere, will you?

Hey, dillinger, in the chair.

Come on.

Where do you want these?

Anybody?

Take them downstairs.

Put them in the trunk of my car.

Levitt, levitt. Put Them on yemana's desk.

Yes, sir.

I'm sorry, mr. Ramsen,

But these have to Be held in evidence.

Yeah, yeah, captain. I'm a small business man.

This is practically My whole inventory.

I can't afford to Lose the impulse sales.

Impulse sales?

Birthdays, anniversaries,

An executive gets a Secretary in trouble...

It makes an excellent Shower gift.

Official procedure, sir.

Levitt, first thing We have to do

Is check it against The invoices.

Captain, that's not necessary.

I...

Official procedures.

Exactly.

Have a seat, mr. Ramsen.

These things are heavy.

Very heavy.

Must be rough On the little minks,

All this stuff on ther backs.

I bet they're glad when They get it shaved off.

I want to tell him.

Your real name is?

Arthur p. Dietrich.

And the "P" stands for?

I was never told.

Where were you born, sergeant?

It's hard to remember.

It was long, long ago...

In a galaxy far, far away.

Hey, I'm only kidding.

I know you are.

Yeah, that's the problem.

Let's get down to the filth.

Now, let's forget About the middle names

And the galaxies.

There were supposed to Be some changes in the pulse.

Well, fix the damn thing!

Tell me something.

Was there anything On your mind today

That was particularly Upsetting you,

I mean, that might have Caused this kind of...

Results?

No.

Nothing more than usual.

Such as?

Well...

Such as stuff I Normally think about.

You know, what am I Gonna have for lunch,

How's my mother getting along,

Whether or not we're Gonna have a nuclear war.

- levitt: sir? - yeah.

It all checks out... 20,000 Bucks' worth of hair.

It's hard to imagine.

What the hell are You talking about?

Look, I may be a no-class Punk, but I got a sense of value.

That stuff is junk.

Say, mr. Ramsen,

Mr. Pellegrini Seems to be an expert

In these kind of things.

Thank you.

The stuff is almost worthless...

Mismatched skins, used material.

Some of the stuff Isn't even mink.

You're a liar!

Mr. Ramsen?

Captain, he doesn't know What he's talking about.

There's no labels In these things, sir.

The labels go on last. I Didn't even have time yet.

Mr. Ramsen, did you call Your insurance company yet?

Before I came in Here? Of course I did.

Do you think it's possible... Now, I'm just speculating...

But do you think it's possible

That you might have Accidentally picked up

The wrong invoices?

What?

What are you talking About, "Wrong invoices"?

I feel...

I feel foolish.

I thought you would.

Oh, captain?

In a minute, scanlon.

Look.

Mr. Ramsen, for Some strange reason...

The word "Fraud" seems To pop into my head.

White-collar Crime makes me sick.

Down, dillinger.

Captain...

I made a mistake.

I made a simple, honest mistake.

You're in luck, mr. Ramsen.

I mean, not that You're required to,

But we happen to have in My office a little machine

That measures...

Captain, I'm gonna Go down to my shop.

I'm gonna get you the Right invoice right now.

You do that, mr. Ramsen.

And in the meantime, we'll Call your insurance company

Just in case you Happen to forget.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Uh, gentlemen...

Did I mention my policemen And firemen's discount plan?

Oh, yes, I did.

I did. Goodbye.

Oh, captain... It is time.

All right.

Put this stuff in The property room.

Yes, sir. And, sir... Good luck.

Psst!

I got 20 on the nose.

Here, take this.

Come on.

Let's get started.

Sorry to disappoint You, scanlon.

I beg your pardon?

I am not volunteering To take this test.

You must be joking.

You seem to be missing The point, scanlon.

I never joke with you.

I take you very, very seriously.

Hey, wait a minute.

You don't want To take this test,

It's all right with me.

It will be duly Noted, of course,

Along with any kind of Reason by way of explanation

That you may want to Enter into the record.

My reason?

Yeah.

Failure of sergeant Wojciehowicz.

You see, I know he's Telling the truth.

Ergo, the machine is inaccurate.

That's not true!

Sorry, mr. Sanders.

I know you put a lot Of time and effort...

Time and effort? What about...

What about body and soul,

Uh, knowledge, sweat?

What about love?

Don't you go weird On me, sanders.

It doesn't work.

It works!

Of course it works, And it works damn good.

Scanlon, you're not here

Because of any concrete Evidence you may have

Against me or my men.

You're here on a witch hunt.

Wait a minute.

You're accusing me of a Personal vendetta or something?

You may not be fast, Scanlon, but you're accurate.

The only reason that I am here

Is because of specific Charges against this squad.

I mean, I am not here

Out of any personal Distaste I may have

For you or your men.

You shut the hell up!

I apologize, inspector.

There does seem To be an argument

For the accuracy Of this machine.

Of course there is.

Now, wait a minute.

Now...

What in the hell are You trying to pull, miller?

Nothing.

It's just that along with Sergeant wojciehowicz's results,

That last assessment By this machine

Will also go into the record.

Picks up on malice of Forethought. Very discerning.

Oh, absolutely.

Now, just wait a minute.

One thing goes into the record,

Everything goes into the record.

All right.

It's all right with me.

Harris, you called?

Oh, right.

Pictures and prints For mr. Pellegrini.

My pleasure. This Way, pellegrini.

Hey, uh, don't you Want to handcuff me?

I mean, what if I try to Escape or something?

Levitt will just shoot You down like the others.

Right.

Are you kidding me?

Hey, talk about bitter...

You are an amateur Compared to that man.

Thanks, harris.

You're welcome.

Let's go.

Gentlemen, lieutenant Scanlon has a few words

He would like to say to us.

Lieutenant scanlon, The floor is yours.

Oh, yeah?

Well... It appears...

Would you speak up A little bit, please?

It appears that We have a problem

With the machine.

It isn't... Worth doodley-squat.

Functioning Properly at this time.

Well, now, lieutenant...

Isn't that right, mr. Sanders?

I think it's possible...

That it's not functioning Properly at this time.

And?

And that's all there is to that.

Uh, excuse me, gentlemen.

Lunch on me tomorrow.

Move it, move it.

Yeah, yeah.

Gentlemen.

Come on.

Lieutenant scanlon, Always a pleasure.

T.K.O., miller. It's Not a knockout.

I'll see you around.

Oh, yeah.

I'll see you around.

Sanders.

Sergeant dietrich...

There's something I Just don't understand.

When you were in there

And you said you were Born on another galaxy,

The machine said you Were telling the truth.

Well, if your theory is correct,

Perhaps it proves that the Micro-tremors in the voice

Can be consciously Controlled by some people.

Or... You were Telling the truth.

No, that's ridiculous.

I was born october 23, 1947,

Saint mary's hospital, Allentown, pennsylvania.

It needed to be said.