Original subtitles

- hey, harris. - yeah?

If you were to travel Due south from detroit,

What do you think would be

The first foreign Country you'd hit?

I don't know.

I do.

Oh, uh, yeah. It Would be mexico.

Nope.

Nope.

Oh, then it's one of Those places below it.

Uh, costa rica, Nicaragua... It's canada.

He said south, dietrich.

Yes, but part of the Province of ontario

Juts underneath detroit, Making it due south.

That counts?

Oh, yeah.

- good morning, gentlemen. - good morning.

Hi, barney.

Hey, uh, that moustache Is starting to come in, huh?

Oh, yeah. I sure wish It would hurry up.

You just have to put up

With a few weeks Of looking grubby.

Grubby?

Oh, barney, I'm not Capable of looking grubby.

I beg your pardon.

You know, I've tried, Barn. I just can't do it.

- barney. - hmm?

If you left detroit And went due south,

What would be the first Foreign country you'd come to?

I wasn't planning on Taking any trips, nick,

I mean, what with all the work We've got to do around here.

Just a little riddle in a book.

Yeah, and I'm sure it's Very interesting, nick,

But, uh, I mean, uh,

We've got arrest Reports to wind up,

Uh, monthly inventories, Crime statistics to compile.

I would really rather that You devoted your energy

To those tasks.

I'm not on duty yet.

Oh.

I usually like to Come a little early,

Relax, have a little coffee,

Get my thoughts together.

I feel I have that right.

And you do, nick. You do. I apologize.

And when the clock strikes 9,

Barney, I'm a new man.

Fine.

You, uh, you any Good at those things?

I... They generally Drive me crazy.

Actually, I like to look At the answers first.

It gives me a better perspective

On the questions.

Oh, good morning, levitt.

Do you want to see me, sir?

Uh, yeah, I'm gonna need You to put together

A strength report on The manpower downstairs.

Why not?

We got a shortage as it is,

And with the 3-day Weekend coming up,

I just want to Make sure that, uh...

Levitt?

I'm right here, sir.

You all right?

Oh, just a little tired.

I've been working Extra duty, sir.

How long?

37 hours.

37?! Oh, my god!

I don't mind, sir.

I'm sure you did a lot of double Duty on your way up to captain.

I did my share, but not...

Probably had to make a Lot of personal sacrifice...

Well, certainly... Disappoint the wife.

I didn't mean that in The conjugal sense, sir.

Of course not.

I'll go work on the report.

Good idea, levitt.

I meant like missing dinner.

That's what I assumed you meant.

And here we are, mr. Adelman.

But I'm telling you, Really, there's no problem.

Step inside, please, will you?

This is none of Anybody's business!

Let's take it easy now. What have we got here?

I don't know.

I mean, uh, this is Mr. And mrs. Adelman,

And this is ana...

- schlesinger. - schlesinger.

At least, that's What their I.D.S say.

And what happened?

Well, I was over at East side terminal,

'cause I had to see someone off.

She lives in boston.

Well, she had to go to work.

Well, anyway, uh...

There was a disturbance On the next platform,

And I went over there, And mr. And mrs. Adelman

Are trying to drag miss Schlesinger off a bus.

Why?

I don't know, 'cause They're not talking.

What about miss schlesinger?

bitte, ich verlange Nach hause gehen.

That's about miss schlesinger.

I think it's german.

Really, we could Explain if you would just...

We cannot explain.

Yes, mrs. Adelman?

I'm sorry.

Look, I know my rights.

We don't have to say anything Until my attorney arrives.

All right, since nobody's Got anything to say,

Why don't we proceed With the, uh, booking?

Oh, my god.

Harriet, they're just Trying to scare us.

Would you have a seat, please, Mr. And mrs. Adelman, here?

Are we required to?

If you want to sit down, yeah.

Miss schlesinger?

Oh.

wie muss es mich Jetzt aufsetzen?

uh, setzen, ja.

Got it.

Barney, there's a man bothering A woman over in lafayette park.

Okay, you and dietrich.

Right.

Uh, dietrich, we got some Trouble over in lafayette park.

That's a little north of here.

I know where that is.

Nick, it's exactly 9:00.

Oh, yeah.

It's a subtle Difference, I agree.

We're going downstairs For pictures and prints now.

Will you follow me?

Come on.

Captain, is all this Really necessary?

Well, mr. Adelman, considering The lack of information,

I'm afraid we don't have Too much flexibility.

But you won't let Her go, will you?

We have no reason to Hold miss schlesinger.

But she can't leave here!

Ana, ana, listen to Me! You stay here.

schwere und nach Deutschland zu werk.

no deutschland!

Why not, mrs. Adelman? She cannot leave!

- why not? - because!

Because she is carrying my baby!

That's real big of her.

Miss schlesinger's pregnant?

See, we made an arrangement

To adopt miss schlesinger's Child as soon as it's born.

I see.

I take it this arrangement

Was made outside The normal channels.

Oh, yeah, we tried those Places for five years.

And they're completely Out of babies,

So we've been waiting For her for how long?

Four months.

Four months, and so she... Oy.

You all right?

Yes, I'm fine.

It's just that the fourth Month is usually the worst.

I see.

Especially in the morning.

Captain, this is a Binding legal agreement

For her baby, paid in full.

You can't buy a baby.

We got a receipt.

Um... Look, mr., uh, adelman,

I don't speak any german,

But it's become apparent That miss schlesinger

Is having second thoughts About this arrangement.

Now, until we can Clear matters up,

We'd appreciate Your cooperation, so...

You know, we tried for 15 Years to have our own baby.

It was a waste of time.

Okay, mr. Mcdowell, Right inside here, please.

I didn't mean anything Personal. It was academic.

Hey, look, whatever you say.

What have we got here?

Oh, this is henry mcdowell...

Disorderly conduct, Lewd behavior...

I'd like a chance To reply to that.

You'll have your Opportunity, mr. Mcdowell.

What happened?

Well, according to a Miss adrian fontana,

Mr. Mcdowell Approached her in the park

And began making lewd Suggestions and/or requests.

And the nature of Those suggestions?

Oh, I wrote some Of them down, barn.

She called me a Pervert. I'm a scholar.

There's no reason You can't be both.

I take it miss fontana Is pressing charges.

Well, she's gonna sit In a hot tub first, barn.

Then she said she'd come Down and make out a complaint.

I was just doing Research on my work.

What work is that?

I believe he's Referring to this.

My dictionary is going to Be a complete compilation

Of obscenity and profanity In the english language.

Yeah, it's damn heavy, too.

I just wanted to survey The reaction of people

To certain vulgarisms.

I'm afraid we're gonna need Some information anyway,

Mr. Mcdowell.

Sergeant harris?

You want to come Over here, please?

I've been working On this for 10 years.

I'm only up to the letter "S."

Why don't you just take a seat?

Strength report You requested, sir.

That was fast.

It's the only way I can work, sir.

You seem to have Gained a lot of energy.

You catch a nap or something?

No, but I feel fine.

Guess you just got Your second wind.

Okay.

Levitt, is the mail here yet?

Oh, yes, I forgot. I'm sorry.

Be right back. Don't go away.

Excuse me.

Wonder where he got those pills.

What was that?

Oh, hey, forget that, barney.

Okay.

- barn. - yo.

That's philip kubrick. He's the adelmans' lawyer.

He's the guy that Engineered this whole thing.

I'm gonna pick him up... Creep.

Uh, wojo, just, Uh... Just talk to him.

He's, uh... We don't even Know if he's broken any laws.

Barn, you can't Buy and sell people.

It says so in the united States constitution.

And I'll bet it's the Same in new york.

Wojo... I'll check it out.

Okay, mr. Mcdowell, come On, got to put you in the cage.

Obscenity has been a Part of people's lives

Since language began.

Yet people are so Completely ignorant about it.

Well, mr. Mcdowell, I Feel fairly safe in saying

I've heard just About everything.

Slutzer.

Come again?

Slutzer.

It's a term of derision From the celtic,

Denoting someone who's Unusually fond of animals.

Oh, yeah.

I guess that's where We get "Shepherd" from.

You may be in a lot Of trouble, mister.

So may you.

Mr. Kubrick!

What the hell is going on here?

Well, she was leaving.

She was taking the baby And going back to germany.

I told you, ana, nein deutschland.

Hey, hey, hey!

Let's just take it Easy, mister, uh...

That's philip kubrick.

Mr. Kubrick, I'm captain miller.

And I'm an attorney.

I found him in his apartment Building, which he owns,

Over on madison and 23rd.

That's around the block from me.

Place is full of pregnant girls.

Of course, I don't Get out that much.

Is that illegal?

Barn, you got to see this place.

He's got it set up Like a dormitory...

Bunch of rows of beds like He's waiting for them to hatch.

Oh, sergeant, that's really A rather crude metaphor.

Well, if you're Gonna make an omelet,

You got to break A couple of eggs.

Captain, am I being charged With breaking the law?

Yes! This one!

Uh, which law is that?

Uh, that's the new york State adoption code.

What section have I violated?

Well, it's kind of tricky.

Captain, this is Really ridiculous.

Um... Counselor, uh...

We obviously have a situation Here that you are involved in,

And until we can sort it out, We'd like your cooperation.

I have nothing to hide.

Then why don't you just Park it right over there?

Wojo: he's trying To do something.

They said you Wanted to see me, sir.

Uh, yeah, levitt, uh...

Do me a favor. Wait in my office.

I'll be in in a Minute. We can talk.

Regarding what, sir?

Levitt, just go in my Office and sit down.

- sit? - yes.

All right, but with your Permission, I may just pace.

bitte, ich habe doch...

ich habe gen keine Gesetze verstossen.

We still haven't got Anyone who speaks german?

No.

Nick, why don't you Try a delicatessen

Or a german restaurant?

Yeah, there's a spot Two blocks down...

Little argentina.

bitte, lassen sie Mich doch gehen?

etwas mir werden.

du musst nicht zu schwer. Alles werden ordnung sein.

- wirklich? - ja, ja.

You speak german?

Well, I dabbled.

Would you mind dabbling With miss schlesinger?

I could try.

Uh... Talk to her, huh?

Uh, yeah. All right, here.

gute filme kuerzlich einsehen?

nein.

What'd you ask her?

"See any good movies lately?"

Levitt, I wanted... I wanted...

Uh... Levitt, I-I wanted to Talk to you alone because I...

I know how important it is To you to be a police officer

And how eager you are to Advance in the department.

Am I being laid off, sir?

No, levitt.

Oh, just your sense Of humor, I see.

Levitt, I'm talking about

The use of narcotic Stimulants on the job.

I don't know what You're referring to, sir.

Levitt.

I just took one.

Spare me the details.

It was just that I was Falling asleep on my feet.

If you feel that way, just Check out and go home!

No one's asking You to kill yourself!

Respectfully, that's Easy for you to say, sir.

You're a captain of Remarkable abilities, talents.

You command Respect and authority.

- levitt... - I'm not through yet, sir.

I realize the only thing I have Going for myself is endurance.

Levitt, I... Can understand That sometimes it appears

That progress is coming Painfully slowly, but it...

It is coming.

You think so, sir?

Well, you're a good cop.

You shouldn't have to depend On artificial aids to do your job.

- yes, sir. - good.

I won't wear them again.

What?

The lifts.

Fraeulein, you Signed an agreement!

It's as simple as that.

Blow it out your ear!

Was that "Blow It out your" what?

I didn't hear it, but I Think it'll come up again.

Okay, okay, all right!

Let's hold it Down! Hold it down!

Put a lid on it!

I got 'em talking.

All right, let's do it One at a time now, huh?

bitte, ich verlange Nach hause gehen.

She says she just Wants to go home.

Uh, miss schlesinger, uh,

Why don't you just Have a seat over here?

Just... Just take it easy.

Now, it says in the new York state adoption code

That it's illegal For an attorney

To accept a fee For supplying a baby!

And I didn't receive a cent.

We gave you $5,000!

We will talk about that later!

$5,000?

Mr. Adelman is a Little confused.

The fee was not for Procuring a baby,

But simply for services Rendered in finalizing an adoption.

There's research, paperwork, Postage, et cetera, et cetera.

Of course.

Mr. Adelman, is that the Way you understood it?

You don't have to say a thing.

There's the Attorney/client privilege.

That's to protect the client.

No, it goes both ways.

Mister, uh... Mr. Adelman... Captain...

I-I guess I was Just a bit confused.

I mean...

Uh, uh, dietrich,

Ask her if he gave her any Money to give up her baby.

habt der kubrick geld gegeben

und das kind auf zu geben?

nein, ich will nicht sagen.

She doesn't want To say anything.

She just wants to go home.

I take it that means

She has no intention Of giving up her baby.

und du hast nicht die Absicht das kind auf zu geben?

nein, es ist mein baby!

She says... I think I got that.

I assume that means She has no intention

Of pressing charges Against the adelmans.

wollen sie gegen die Adelmans ab zeige erstatten?

nein.

Okay, tell her she's free to go.

But, captain... Mrs. Adelman.

Well, is she sure she Knows what she's doing?

I mean, ana, it's a baby.

You know there's Feeding and there's

carrying And changing.

It's gonna be all Right, harriet.

Really, it's gonna be all right.

Come on.

danke.

danke schoen.

No problem.

Uh, dietrich, you want to take Miss schlesinger downstairs,

Make sure she gets in a cab?

Ana...

Ana... Oh, uh...

Would you tell her, please,

That we would like to Keep in touch with her,

That maybe when The baby is born,

Maybe you'll send Us a little note?

Yeah, we'll give him a Little present or something,

You know, for his birthday.

And tell her this is My business address,

And she can mail To that address.

And if the baby needs anything At all, anything, she's got it.

Tell her.

uh, sie wollen kontakt halten.

I cut it for time.

ja, das mag ich.

auf wiedersehen.

Yeah, wiedersehen.

kommen, wie gehen jetzt.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, miss schlesinger.

Dietrich... Thank you.

I'll be back in a winzig.

Captain, will you be requiring Anything further of me?

No, mr. Kubrick. You can go.

Barn...

Uh, but, uh, I'd like You to know that

We're going to keep an Eye on your operation,

That a copy of sergeant Wojciehowicz's report

Will be sent to the District attorney's office.

Wonderful. Is There anything else?

No, that's all.

Uh, barn. I, uh, Checked out mcdowell.

Any priors?

Uh-huh.

Ms, phd.

What about miss fontana?

She's still in the tub.

No telling when She's getting out.

We can't keep the poor Man in there indefinitely.

Call her up, and if she won't Come down, turn him loose.

Right, barn.

May we go now?

Yeah, sure.

Okay. Come on, harriet.

Yeah.

Oh, captain?

- goodbye. - goodbye.

Sorry for the trouble.

Good luck, mrs. Adelman.

Luck has nothing to do with it.

Look, we'll find some Way. I promise you.

Sure.

Have you considered In-vitro fertilization?

What?

It's a new procedure

Where an ovum is fertilized Outside the woman's body

And then replaced in the womb.

By who?

There are several men Qualified who could...

Forget it!

What do you mean?

A-are you talking about Something like a test-tube baby?

Let's go, harriet.

No, just wait a minute, Harold. You just wait a minute.

What are you saying?

Are you saying that Maybe it is possible

That I could have My very own baby?

It's possible.

Harold, did you Hear what he said?

Look... Did you Hear what he said?

I'm not crazy about the idea.

Can we at least talk about it?

- it's not natural. - why?

Laboratories, Test tubes... Pyrex.

It's my own personal preference.

- goodbye. - goodbye.

- you listen to me. - no.

No, you listen to me.

- why? - because.

Well, it appears miss Fontana's gonna be be a no-show,

So we're gonna turn you loose.

Oh, that's very Kind of you, officer.

Thank you.

Here you go. Don't Forget your dictionary.

Oh, thank you, captain.

I know my work seems Strange to some people,

But obscenity provides An important release

For hostility and anger

That otherwise might be Expressed more violently.

I guess you just have to Be careful where you use it.

Yes.

That's a shame, isn't it?

Good luck.

You know, it's interesting...

I've never been able To find an obscene word

That began with the letter "Z."

Zelda.

I guess you had to be there.

Uh, if you want me, I'll be in my office.

Okay.