Original subtitles

- you know what I mean? - I know what you mean.

I've been waiting half an hour For someone to wait on me!

One of our detectives Is on vacation, okay?

We're just a little Short-handed.

If you'll have a seat, I'll Be with you in a minute.

I just got to book this guy.

I can't wait here all day!

Ma'am, I got a criminal here.

12th precinct, wojciehowicz.

What did he do?

Uh, he tried to Stick up a market.

Degenerate!

I don't feel that Way about you, ma'am.

Uh, could you call Back in an hour?

I'm going to book you now.

Hey. Sure. I can Appreciate that.

Thanks.

You got your job, I got my job.

Full name.

Loftis, milton l.

♪ love, love ♪

♪ lovin' you, baby, All night long ♪

♪ love, love, love ♪

♪ lo-o-o-o-ve... ♪

Uh... Is, uh, anyone Helping you?

No, and I've been waiting For over half an hour.

Oh, well, someone Will be along soon.

♪ lovin' again, again ♪

You picked a great Day to be late.

Oh, how are you, wojo?

You look like you've Been up all night.

You moonlighting again?

Uh, no.

It, uh... As it happens, I Had a social engagement

Which lasted longer Than I had anticipated

Or could possibly Have hoped for.

- congratulations. - yeah.

Meanwhile, I've been trying To handle things here alone.

Oh, yeah? Where's, Uh, where's barney?

I had this guy,

So barney had to go out On a call with dietrich.

Oh, I thought we were Getting some extra help.

Yeah, but it's not here Yet, so, uh, in the meantime,

Do you think you might take Care of miss jacobs there,

Who's getting kind of surly?

Oh, yeah. Sure.

It just requires a Little special knack

With the older types.

You know what I mean?

Miss jacobs? Hi.

I'm detective harris.

If you'll have a seat Right over there,

We'll be right with you.

Both of you?

Uh, no, I meant me.

Then say what you Mean, for heaven's sakes.

Get over there and Sit down in that seat.

Right there. Let's go.

Morning, fellow detectives.

Morning, levitt.

Good morning, levitt.

Anything going down?

Not much, levitt.

I, uh...

I suppose I should take Sergeant yemana's desk.

I suppose.

This thing go up any higher?

Okay, ma'am.

The, uh, problem?

I want that smut Shop closed down.

Well, ma'am, I'm gonna need A little more information.

Could you give me an address?

125 christopher street.

And, uh, the name of The establishment?

The monroe gallery.

But, ma'am, that's An art gallery.

So?

It's still got smut In the windows.

Ma'am, the type... Don't.

It, uh, ma'am, it has a very Distinguished reputation.

It also has very filthy Paintings of naked women

Lying around on sofas.

One filthy picture After another.

Well, ma'am, I mean,

There are many people Who admire such works.

To me it's filth.

Well, you know, the Saying, "One man's meat is"...

Strike that.

12th precinct, wojciehowicz.

Uh, yeah, yeah, I can hold.

Barney's been shot.

What?! Where?

I don't know. The Dispatch just called it in.

They put me on hold.

- what happened... - I don't know.

Harris: yes, ma'am. I'll hold.

All dispatch knows Is he was shot.

Uh, I'm trying bellevue now.

I feel so helpless.

Uh, woj, look, man. He's... He's gonna be okay.

First time in a month He goes out on a call,

This happens.

Yeah.

I talked to kogen.

They haven't heard Anything downstairs.

Yeah, he's talking to Bellevue right now.

If he needs blood, I'm available.

I'm also willing to Donate certain organs.

Oh, please, levitt.

Call st. Luke's, all right?

Right.

I'll call mercy general.

I meant that about the organs.

Sure.

Morning, harris.

Barney!

Levitt. Hey, looks nice.

- barney... - barney, what happened?

I mean you're all Right. What happened?

We ran into a Robbery in progress

At, uh, kottiman's deli.

Uh, dietrich is on the way Down to manhattan south

With a couple of suspects.

Barney, dispatch Said you got shot.

I did.

That's it?

Well, I mean, it Was just a graze.

Uh, I went into st. Luke's emergency.

They patched it up.

I was just calling there, sir.

You were calling hospitals?

Well, they told Us you were shot.

We were prepared for the worst.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Listen, now, you know,

It was just a Communications foul-up.

I hope I didn't cause You any undo anxiety.

- oh, no. Nothing. - anxiety? Pbht!

Well, it was pretty painful.

Oh, yeah, sure. Look at it.

I'll bet it was.

Listen, harris, I-I-I...

I mean, I didn't mean to, You know, cause any...

Who's that?

A miss jacobs.

Um, she wants us To slap a padlock

On the monroe art gallery Down on christopher.

Everybody's a critic, huh?

Yeah, she was offended by some Of the paintings in the window.

Let me see what I can do.

Good morning, ma'am. I'm captain miller.

It's the most disgusting Display of filth I've ever seen.

A lot of filthy naked people.

Excuse me a minute. Excuse me.

Did you check out the gallery?

No, barney.

I never did get to Finish the report.

Everything went Crazy around here.

Why?

You got shot.

Oh, right.

Uh, look, get on the Phone to the art gallery

And find out what the hell it is

They've got in that Window anyway.

Sure, barn.

Captain, are you going to do Something about this or not?

Sergeant harris is gonna Get some further information,

And then we'll find out.

Quite frankly, I'm not too Sure there's anything we can do.

Why, you close down dirty Bookstores and massage parlors!

That's only after Obscenity has been proven.

This stuff is obscene. Take my word.

I'm afraid we can't do that.

I mean, you're talking About art works

That are protected by Numerous court decisions.

Yeah, well, we appreciate Your cooperation.

Uh, barney?

Uh, ma'am, why don't You just have a seat?

Relax.

I, uh, I spoke to the manager,

And, uh, they've got some pretty Hot stuff going on over there.

They've got some renoirs, Some gauguins, uh, nude scenes.

Nothing that could Be termed, uh...

Participatory? No.

Ma'am, what we have is a Perfectly reputable art gallery

Exhibiting some, Uh, admittedly frank

But perfectly Acceptable artworks.

Bull hooey!

Miss jacobs, there Is a vast distinction

Between a delicate renoir nude

And a pornographic picture.

What's that, sir?

One is art and One is, uh... Not.

That's very logical, sir.

Thank you.

All right!

I know some people Enjoy these things,

But let them do it in private.

Do they have to flaunt them?

Set them up so that everyone Is forced to look at them?

Is that fair?!

Ma'am, all I can suggest

Is that you walk on the Other side of the street.

Feisty little mother.

I was speaking Biologically, of course, sir.

Oh, hi, liz.

Hi, ron.

How are you?

- I'm fine. - good.

Hi, liz.

Hi, stan.

Hi, liz, hi.

What brings you down?

Well, I-I was just in The neighborhood,

And so I-I thought I'd Stop in and say hello.

Hello.

I hear you got shot.

Oh, it was, uh... How did you, uh...

St. Luke's called. Uh, Something about insurance.

Liz, it was a scratch.

Nothing... A paper cut Would have been worse.

Liz, I-I...

I'll be in my office.

Hold all calls?

- did I say that? - no, sir.

Screen them.

Yes, sir. Screen them.

I think I'm beginning to Understand his subtleties.

It is such a minor Injury it is embarrassing.

Then why didn't you call?

I couldn't dial?

I didn't call because I didn't Think it was important enough

And I didn't want to upset you And I know you would get upset,

So I didn't call.

So what happened?

A holdup in kottiman's deli.

Some kid with a Gun... A teenager.

He was so scared, Holding that gun.

I'm sure he didn't want To fire the damn thing.

Sounds like a lovely boy.

All right, you're Right. I apologize.

No, you're right. You Have a right to know.

I should have called.

I should have called.

I know you don't Want to be protected.

I know you don't want to...

I know you feel you Can handle anything

As long as you know the truth.

Oh, barney, I just hate it

When you try to anticipate me.

Oh, for god's sakes.

It's getting worse and worse!

There are fewer and Fewer of you out there,

And there are more And more of them.

It just seems that way.

Well, I-I-I really Wonder sometimes

What it would be like To live somewhere else.

Such as?

Such as... Long island.

Long island.

- connecticut. - uh-huh.

Sweden.

Sweden?

It's very law-abiding There this time of year.

We talk about it, and We talk about it, liz.

Well, but nothing Ever seems to happen!

I have a responsibility here!

Well, sometimes, barney,

I really don't know How much longer...

I-I don't know how much Longer things can go on like this.

What kind of things?

I don't know.

I don't know. I'm... I'm just rambling.

Liz, I'm okay. I'm okay.

Well, if you say so.

Everything's fine.

Okay.

Okay, everything's fine.

Got it. We're on our way.

Disturbance. Guess where, harris.

Yeah?

The monroe gallery, Christopher street.

Oh, okay. Let's get it.

Right.

Hi.

Liz.

Liz?

Listen, why don't we think about

Going somewhere this weekend?

Sure, sure. Anything you say.

We'll talk about it When I get home, huh?

Okay.

- bye. - bye.

Bye.

Was that mrs. Miller?

Yeah, yeah.

The past tense Was unintentional.

Okay, miss jacobs.

You, uh, remember the Detective squad room?

If you'll have a seat Right over here, please.

This is more than just Vandalism, you know.

This is an assault.

All right, I am obligated To ask, what happened?

Well, barn, apparently, After leaving here,

Miss jacobs went back Down to the gallery

And threw a bottle Of shoe polish

All over one of the paintings.

I'm entitled to my opinion!

And, um, this is mr. Levant.

He's one of the Owners of the gallery.

Why do I get all the crazies?

I'm not crazy, smut-peddler!

Hold it down! Hold it.

Excuse me, sir. Where Should I put the painting?

Down.

Thank you, sir.

Look at it... Desecrated, ravaged!

All right, we'll try And straighten it out.

What can we "Straighten out," captain?

We're talking about a Piece of art, not a tv set.

A painting is a singularly Unique, irreplaceable expression

Of one person's most Intimate perceptions.

I understand...

And that frame cost 70 bucks.

I take it you are Pressing charges.

As a matter of principle, yes.

All right, miss jacobs,

If you'll accompany Detective harris.

I'm afraid we're gonna Have to book you.

- someone had to do something! - ma'am.

Mr. Levant, if you'll have A seat right here, please.

Levitt, do you want to Get some information

From mr. Levant?

Interesting work.

Yeah, uh-huh.

You see how the subtle Shadings of light and dark entwine

To create a naturalistic Yet eloquent symbol

Of the woman eternal?

Nice body, too.

Oh, yeah.

Loftis: hey.

Don't blame yourself.

What?

My wife walked out On me two years ago.

My wife hasn't walked out on me.

Suddenly one day She says... Mr. Loftis...

"Milt, I can't Handle it anymore."

That's not Necessary, mr. Loftis.

When we got married, She knew what I was.

I mean, I told her Right up front

What it would be like.

The lousy hours... Late evenings...

Temporary separations... And she agreed.

Right?

Well, didn't your wife agree?

Yeah.

Uh, barn?

I, uh, got all the pertinent Information on miss jacobs.

What do you want Me to do with her?

I don't know.

I know how you feel.

All right, let me See what I can do.

Yeah.

Mr. Levant.

If miss jacobs agreed to Reimburse you for the painting,

Would, uh, would you Consider dropping the charges?

That's fine with me. I'll Need a check for $1,100.

I don't have $1,100.

That's unfortunate.

Look, can something be done

To, uh, to restore the painting?

Yeah, I suppose so, but It's not a cheap process.

I don't want it restored.

Miss jacobs, if this Painting can be restored,

Mr. Levant may agree To drop the charges.

What would it cost?

It's hard to say.

I said no!

Miss jacobs, are you Just being difficult

Or is there something About this particular painting

That, uh... Disturbs you?

Um... When was This thing painted?

I believe in the late '30s.

Lovely woman.

It's you, isn't it?

Well...

I can understand that modesty...

It wasn't meant For public viewing.

Don't you understand?

It was a very personal thing.

Oh, do whatever You want with it.

I... I don't care. It's Not important anymore.

Mr. Levant, in view Of the circumstances,

Don't you think You can find it, uh...

Find some way of absorbing The cost of restoring...

Absorb the cost?!

Don't you think she's Contributed enough

To the painting?

Yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

Mr. Levant has agreed to Restore the painting himself.

You're, uh... You're free to go.

I want the painting.

That'll be $1,100.

I told you I don't have That kind of money.

I'm sorry.

Mr. Levant, now, wait.

Prices in the art world Are not carved in stone.

They are negotiable, Are they not?

Yeah, I suppose.

Why don't you make him an offer?

$20.

Oh, god.

Uh... Make her a counteroffer.

$900.

$21?

This is ridiculous!

I'm sure you two will Eventually agree on a price.

Levitt, do you want to help Them down with the painting?

Mr. Levant, thank You... Yeah, yeah.

Miss jacobs, goodbye.

Goodbye, captain.

Professional curiosity.

You were lovely.

Well, what do you say?

$700.

$23.

The frame alone is worth $70!

Get your coat.

I've got your bail ticket.

There, you see? The System really works.

Harris and dietrich Check out already?

Uh-huh.

Listen, you might As well cut out, too.

Yeah, I was gonna go after I Dropped loftis off but, um...

Okay, fine.

Well, I don't have to go now,

You know, if you Feel like talking.

Yeah, no hurry, barney.

Go home.

All right. I'll, Uh, I'll see you.

Good night, mr. Loftis.

You take it easy. I mean it.

Thank you.

- okay. - oh.

Hey, lady, give him a break.

I mean, you knew what You were getting into

When you married him.

Come on, come on.

Who are you?

Just a friend of barney's.

Let's go.

Good night.

I came back to, uh... Clarify my position.

Oh.

That, uh, might be nice.

You know all those Things I said earlier

About wanting to Be somewhere else

And so on and so on?

And so on.

Well, I... I meant it.

Oh?

I know how important This job is to you.

But?

But...

Excuse me, sir, I... Oh.

Excuse me, mrs. Miller.

I, uh, I worked up the Manpower request,

And I gave it to kogen.

Fine, levitt.

If there's nothing Else, I'll be checking out.

No, no, there's nothing else.

Except to say I am very Pleased with your work today.

Thank you, sir.

He's a remarkable man.

I guess you know that.

Just thank god We didn't lose him.

Levitt!

I meant, may the Force be with you.

Good night, sir.

Thank you, levitt.

You know, in Situations like this,

One really must Have a sense of humor.

Or else one must move to sweden.

Sweden?

Uh, just an expression, levitt.

Just an expression.

Oh, you mean like the country?

Same spelling, Different meaning.

Oh.

Well, good night.

Good night.

I love you.

I love you.

Wait for me, will you?

I always have.