Original subtitles

What you looking for?

The point spreads on The football games today.

Even on thanksgiving?

They play anytime.

I can't find it.

Maybe it's not in there.

No, they're all here...

Uh, except the team That I put a bundle on.

Which team was that?

Alcorn state.

Alcorn state?

Never heard of it.

You're kidding.

No.

They're underdogs,

But they're playing Their archrivals,

And so I figure Anything can happen.

Alcorn state.

It reeks of Tradition, doesn't it?

Tradition's a possibility.

So, uh, I'll pick up some wine To go along with the bird.

Oh, that sounds delicious, yeah.

No, I don't have A favorite part.

Oh.

I thought you were Talking about the turkey.

All right, come On in. Get inside.

You can't arrest Me. It was my house.

I can do whatever I Want in my own house.

All right, what do we got here?

Ed gerrity... Stabbed his Brother-in-law with a fork.

With a fork?

Yeah, barn. They were Fighting over this.

You stabbed someone Over a turkey drumstick?

It's my drumstick from my turkey

Sitting on my table.

I paid for that Stuff. He didn't.

The bum hasn't Worked in two years!

What about the other guy?

They're patching Him up at the hospital.

He got stuck in the hand.

He's lucky I didn't have The electric carving knife.

I could saw through A log with that baby.

Bet you could.

All right, dietrich, book him.

Empty your pockets.

The bum deserved it.

Uh, barney,

You want me to check Him for prior forkings?

I'm sorry.

Oh, they're going to bring the Brother-in-law over, barney,

As soon as they Remove the weapon.

Whatever happened

To old-fashioned Thanksgiving, you know?

Your family and friends.

Your mother made A big roast turkey...

Stuffing, cranberries.

Spam.

Sorry.

You know, she'd form that stuff

Into little drumsticks.

I said I'm sorry.

What's the victim's name?

Powell. Paul powell.

And he ain't the victim... I am!

Him and my sister Have been living with us

For nine months.

You're a compassionate Man, mr. Gerrity.

He's a lousy bum. You know what he is?

A sculptor.

He's a lousy sculptor.

That's interesting.

What am I supposed to do,

Leave her out there To starve with him?

That's a familiar Pattern with artists,

Particularly the great ones.

Oh, yeah?

A lack of recognition and Appreciation of their work

During their lifetimes.

What?

In fact, most great artists Only attain acceptance

And notoriety After they're dead.

You almost forked Him into prominence.

Where at?

What do you got?

Got it.

A private, uh, Psychiatric hospital on 8th.

Three patients escaped.

Wonderful.

All right, wojo, you and, um...

I'll go with him, barney.

I'm bored.

Well, I hope this proves Entertaining enough for you.

Let's go, harris.

Yeah, right.

As a matter of fact,

I feel restricted by This whole continent.

I think what I've got to do...

I got to go abroad.

You got to get one.

How provincial.

Afternoon, gentlemen.

I have for you here

The latest Interdepartmental bulletins,

Communiqués, memos.

Oh, sir.

I would like to take This opportunity

To be the first to wish You and the men a very...

Happy thanksgiving, everybody!

Sir, I...

It's all right. You were first.

Thank you, sir.

Happy thanksgiving, dietrich.

Thank you, inspector.

Well, now, you're supposed To wish me the same...

That is, if you Got any breeding.

Of course, inspector.

It's just that I've never been

A strict adherent of the custom.

I'm an agnostic,

Hence the uncertainty of Who to thank specifically.

Well, maybe you wouldn't Have that trouble, you know,

If jerry ford was Still in the white house.

I didn't vote for mr. Peanut,

Don't go taking it Out on me, dietrich.

I mean, saying "Happy thanksgiving"

Is just the same as you Saying "Good morning.

Hi, buddy."

That's true.

So?

Happy thanksgiving.

Hiya, buddy.

Well, what brings you Down here, inspector?

I mean, holiday and all.

Oh, barney.

I just come down to wish The boys a happy thanksgiving,

And to thank you, barney.

Thank me for what?

For having me to your home For dinner last christmas.

Well, it was our, Uh... Pleasure.

Thanks, barney. I mean it.

I really appreciate it...

Taking a lonely old Man in off the streets,

No place to go on a holiday.

We really loved it, inspector.

Loved having you.

Here it is thanksgiving, huh?

Time sure does fly.

I was thinking of taking a visit

Up at the nursing home,

You know, to see old brownie.

Well, I'm sure he'd Appreciate that.

Appreciate it?

Barney.

He can't tell the difference Between me and a lamp.

No improvement, huh?

Nah.

Just lays there like A sack full of jell-o.

He gurgles every now and then.

Oh.

Bring it in. Let's Come on in here.

A responsibility as a Professional nurse!

I cannot be everywhere At once, dr. Engels!

Everywhere, no. Somewhere, yes.

You can be somewhere At once, miss krewson.

There are not enough Nurses, for god's sakes!

Are there enough nurses?

I'd like to see some more.

Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let's just take it easy now.

Barney, this is, uh, dr. Engels.

He's the head shrink Over at the hospital.

Harris.

Barn, I mean, that's the way He refers to himself, huh?

Well, in an atmosphere Such as ours,

It helps relax the patients.

You see, humor is useful In treating neurosis...

All kinds of neurosis...

As is medicine, As is environment.

And, uh, barn,

This is miss krewson And mr. Bruger.

They were on duty when The patients escaped.

Don't say escaped! Not escaped!

Say "Wandered off."

After all, we're not a Prison or anything like that.

Three of them wandered off...

Right after locking These two in the closet.

You weren't hurt, were you?

Oh, they never touched us.

We were already in there.

Uh, we were checking The inventory.

They locked us in the closet.

Harris, you want To get a statement

From miss krewson, mr. Bruger?

Miss krewson, come on.

Doctor, if you'll Have a seat over here,

Detective wojciehowicz Will take your statement.

Barney? I think I'll be going.

Downstairs.

Oh.

Yeah, just for a minute.

I want to wish the uniforms

A happy and active thanksgiving.

Just wanted you to Know where I'll be,

In case you change your mind.

♪ hurrah for the fun ♪

♪ is the pudding done? ♪

♪ hurrah for the pumpkin pie ♪

Uh... Did, um, these people

Ever try to leave The place before?

Oh, no. Usually They're very tranquil.

There's no problem Controlling them.

But sometimes, now, They do trick us.

They don't take Their medication.

And then they become Very... Uh... Lucid?

Exactly.

Hey, when can I get out of here?

There will be no Determination, mr. Gerrity,

Till your brother-in-law Comes down

And makes a statement.

It'd be just like the bum to Press charges against me.

You stabbed him!

He annoyed me!

You know, it's likely you Won't be charged at all.

What?

90% of domestic assaults

Never reach the courtroom stage.

Yeah?

Statistics prove Your brother-in-law

Will let you out.

Good.

And within a week, Attempt revenge.

Hey, barn.

Disturbance in the Automat over on 10th.

What kind of disturbance?

Some guy's raising hell.

The automat on 10th? Why, that's near the home.

Yeah, he took his clothes off.

He's running around naked.

Charming.

That could be ducay!

He does that when He's threatened.

All right, dietrich, Go with wojo.

Better take bruger with you.

He's trained in Humane restraint.

Oh, yes.

And also can positively Identify the others.

Hey!

Am I gonna have a naked Crazy person in here with me?

No visitors.

Okay, miss krewson, here we go.

Oh, thank you.

You're so kind.

Thank you.

But I guess that Doesn't mean anything.

I beg your pardon?

Kindness...

I guess it just Doesn't mean anything.

15 years I worked With those people.

What do they do? They Lock me in a closet.

Oh, come on.

I mean, you know, They're not responsible.

They're insane.

If you say so.

And I have always Given to the insane.

I have always given to Anyone who ever needed me.

The halt... The Lame... And the blind.

You see, I have always believed

That it is better to Give than to receive.

Are you talking about The alcorn game?

No, nick.

Oh. Sorry.

If you want it, all You have to do is ask.

That is all I have ever Required of anybody...

At any time.

Oh, I see.

You ask, I give.

Is this coffee too hot?

Huh?

Oh.

You know, locked In that closet...

That's the thanks I get.

Poor kenny. He was so scared.

Kenny?

Kenny... The big attendant.

I see.

Confinement in that... That small area...

And forced up against Each other in that...

Hot, torrid closet.

He needed me.

He asked and... I gave.

Do you have some water?

It's over there, by The fire extinguisher.

Thank you.

May I help you?

Yeah, I-I'm paul powell.

Yes?

Ah, the brother-in-law.

You mean the bum. He's arrived.

- hello, eddie. - hello, bum.

Eddie, h-how could you do Something like this to me?

It was easy, believe me.

I would rather that you Had stabbed me in my heart.

Sue me. I missed.

Okay, now, we're all Gonna go into this room.

Into this room.

Into this room?

You sure you don't want us To go into some other room?

No. I want you to Go into this room.

You're a weird kid.

Move inside.

Don't anybody crowd me, Or my pants are coming off.

Big deal!

I mean it.

You ain't got nothing we Haven't all seen before.

Right?

Or a reasonable facsimile.

What are you asking him for?

We could all get a pneumonia.

The automat was a mess, barn.

This guy was running around Without any clothes on,

And the old guy here

Was throwing food All over the place.

Hold it. Just hold it.

Doctor, you did say They were harmless.

Oh, absolutely.

At worst, they're Recalcitrant children.

Hold it! Hold it! Whoa, Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Let's hold it down.

I'm captain miller.

Uh, we're gonna try to Solve whatever problems

Seem to have come up.

In the meantime,

We're gonna make you as Comfortable as possible.

Well, you got a Toilet in this room?

Certainly, mr., uh...

Biederman. Rudolph biederman.

Biederman.

Wojo, would you Accompany mr. Biederman?

Yeah. This way, mr. Biederman.

Miss rather shoved her arm

Through one of Those glass windows...

Tried to grab one of the cooks.

They were out of Turkey sandwiches.

I was just trying To get his attention.

Uh, would you have A seat, miss rather?

Certainly.

It's no more than I deserve.

Now I'll go in that room,

And you stay in this room, hmm?

Yeah, yeah, sure. All right.

Weird kid.

Nakedness is truth!

Clothes are a lie!

Off the rack, yeah. Come on, sit down.

You can't fool anybody With your clothes on.

- remember hitler? - um, vaguely.

Who would have Believed him in the nude?

Without his uniforms,

It would have been Impossible for him to lie.

Or to spend any time At berchtesgaden.

Freeze your buns in the alps.

Uh, barn?

The manager of the automat

Said they might want To press charges.

Didn't you tell them they Were mental patients?

He said he doesn't Like to encourage

That sort of thing.

Very compassionate.

Well, uh, here's His phone number.

All right, I'll take care of it.

Captain? I confess.

I murdered my husband.

- I beg your pardon? - an aberration, captain.

Ana, your husband Is still alive.

You only imagined That you murdered him.

Baloney!

Ana, he left you For another woman!

Ask him if he's seen him lately.

Have you seen him lately?

Are you gonna believe her or me?

Would you have a Seat, miss rather?

We'll, uh, we'll look into it.

Alcorn state.

A-l-c-o-r-n.

You got a score?

Nothing-nothing, Last time I heard.

- yeah. - barney.

Uh, need anything from The market, barney?

I'm going down to Pick out a baby turkey.

No, thanks.

Just a little one, you know.

About a pound, pound and a half.

You can't get too much On a hot plate, you know?

Right.

Not like them big suckers My grandmother used to cook.

Ah, those days are gone forever,

I guess, huh, barney?

Yep.

Grandma's gone.

Grandpa's gone.

It's all over, barney.

Uh, yeah, um...

May I speak with The manager, please?

This is captain miller Of the 12th precinct.

Would you ask him to Call me when he comes in?

Thank you.

What the hell, barney?

I mean, holidays are For the kids, right?

That's right.

Burns you up, though, don't it?

Well, someone once said,

"Youth is wasted on the young."

Yeah.

Mickey rooney, I think it was.

This way, mr., uh, biederman.

Sure.

You got a son?

No.

Well, don't get one.

When they grow up, They have you committed.

Your son had you committed?

Yeah, they said I made Too much noise when I eat.

I got to ask you A few questions.

I'm 82 years old, Engels is out of his mind,

And the place is a dump.

That's not true, sergeant.

We have a reputable staff

And a very well-run Organization.

You won't let me watch Tv or eat by myself.

You throw your food.

Well, it stinks!

Anyone in his right Mind would throw it.

Isn't that so?

I suppose.

You see?

Sergeant, the first Rule of psychiatry

Is not to reinforce Deviant behavior.

Oh, sit on it, engels.

Don't encourage him.

Uh, captain? Captain?

I'm not gonna sign This complaint form.

I want to have my Brother-in-law released.

I'm delighted to Hear that, mr. Powell.

Nick, turn gerrity loose.

I'll tell you why.

I'm sure you have your reasons.

Why are you letting me out?

Uh, powell decided Not to prosecute.

Why?

It's my way of saying thank you.

For what?

For letting me live in Your house for so long.

For allowing me to Concentrate on my work.

For all that food you Gave me in the past...

Without stabbing me.

Don't try to make Me feel guilty.

I won't.

You'll have to sign For your property.

Listen, eddie,

I've never been able To give you one thing.

Let me do this for you, huh?

No strings!

Absolutely no strings.

Sign here.

12th precinct, yemana.

Yeah. Barney?

Thank you.

Captain miller here.

Here's your turkey.

What did I tell you?

He let me go. You were right.

And within the week?

Come on, eddie.

Let's go home.

Thank you.

Right.

Dr. Engel, I just spoke to The manager of the automat.

He says he's not Gonna press charges,

So you can take your People back to the home.

I don't want to go back there!

Nobody understands me!

Calm, calm, calm, people!

It's time to ride the big bus!

Oh, boy. A big bus.

Goody, goody, goody!

We gonna ride in the big bus!

Don't encourage them. Don't encourage them.

I don't care what anybody says.

It's healthier to Live without clothing.

- you're right. - you agree?

Studies have shown That as a group,

Nudists are less frustrated Than people who wear clothes.

Their blood pressure is lower,

And, in general, their Outlook is much better.

Then why do you wear clothing?

Got to wear a badge.

Right.

Okay, ducay, let's go.

Closet nudist.

Don't be abusive.

I enjoyed being here.

Uh, well, uh, I Enjoyed having you.

I meant that figuratively.

No, uh, literally.

You better make That figuratively.

This way, mr. Biederman.

Dietrich, would accompany Mr. Biederman downstairs?

Some thanksgiving.

Happy thanksgiving.

And a happy Thanksgiving to you, too.

Thank you.

Do you think my Husband is still alive?

Well, no one has Reported him missing.

Oh.

What about my father?

What about your father?

There's a good chance That I killed him, too.

Well, we'll check in to that.

I appreciate that.

Transference.

Simple transference Of hostile objectives.

Oh, god. It'll take Years to unwind this one.

Well, good luck.

I don't believe in luck.

I believe in science, damn it!

Happy thanksgiving.

That's easy for you to say.

I think I'll be, uh, Shoving off, barney.

Right, inspector.

First, I want to wish You a warm, wonderful,

And happy thanksgiving, barney.

Uh, to you, too.

Thanks.

Oh, and give my Heartiest felicitations

To the missus and to Your lovely children.

Why don't you do it yourself? - 00.

With all the traffic And everything, barney,

I was thinking 7:30.

7:30 will be fine.

See you, barney.

♪ oh, the weather Outside is frightful ♪

♪ but the fire is So delightful ♪

♪ and since we've No place to go ♪

♪ let it snow, let it Snow, let it snow ♪

It's snowing outside.