Original subtitles

I'm brad laneer,

Legal representative of Federated paper company,

A division of mcmillan chemical.

Say again?

I'm brad laneer,

Legal representative of Federated paper company...

Hmm. You make toilet paper.

Yes, we do.

Your desk sergeant downstairs...

How come you can never Get a roll started right?

I mean, you always got To scratch and claw at it

Till it ends up in shreds.

Is there a captain miller here?

Yeah. Uh, barney?

You people really ought To do something about that.

I'm in the legal department.

I really don't know anything About that end of the business.

Uh... Oh, crudity, man, crudity.

Yes, I'm captain Miller. Can I help you?

Uh, this is mr. Laneer, barney.

He's with the, uh, federated Toilet paper company.

Just paper... Federated Paper company.

We're a division of Mcmillan chemical.

They do make toilet paper, But they don't brag about it.

He's their attorney.

One of them.

There are 57 of us.

57? That's a lot of lawyers.

Well, we're a big firm.

Oh.

Bet they got enough to Keep you busy, too, huh?

Oh, yeah.

What can I do for You, mr. Laneer?

The problem is a gradual Erosion of respect

For the free-enterprise System, and consequently,

The increasing attacks Upon the corporate entities

That are the backbone Of that system.

I would say that's out of Our jurisdiction, mr. Laneer.

How about vandalism and theft,

Offices ransacked, files rifled?

That's more like it.

Well, I was giving you a Broader overall picture,

Bringing in the Social implications

From a jurisprudent Point of view.

I see.

Have a seat, mr. Laneer.

Thank you.

How long has it been going on?

Uh, a week... A week and a half.

Do you have any Idea who it might be?

He calls himself the hawk.

The hawk?

That's the name that He scribbles on the wall

Every time he does One of these things.

Is this yours?

Uh, no.

Sounds to me like you've Got a crusader on your hands.

Probably protesting Corporate corruption,

Environmental pollution.

Pollution?

Today he put a stink bomb

In our air-conditioning system.

Our whole building Smells like an open sewer.

I can still smell it.

Uh, nick, I think Your coffee's ready.

Very funny.

Oh, you're right.

You have anybody You can think of

Who might have a Personal motive,

Somebody who has a grievance,

A grudge against the company?

No one in particular.

But, um, we have Managed to put together...

At least our computer Has put together...

A list of people who Might have some reason...

I mean, in their Own warped minds...

For wanting to get Back at our company.

How many names You got on this list?

Oh, about 2,300.

Hmm. That's more than santa has.

There's a lot of Disturbed people out there.

Whew!

I should say so.

Just come right, Come in, come on.

Hi, barn. Got a robbery victim.

Where?

Right there.

Found her sprawled In the street.

Some creep came along And knocked her down,

Took one of her bags.

Okay, come... Come in.

She's one of those Shopping-bag ladies.

They live out there. They don't have a home.

They live in the Street or in an alley.

She's been living In that doorway

Right next to Cotterman's liquor store.

You all right, ma'am?

I'm captain miller.

We'll do what we Can to get your...

Property back.

I think she's deaf.

What?

I think she's deaf.

What are you whispering for?

I think she's dumb, too.

I mean, she can't talk.

I know what the word means.

All right. Do what you can.

Get whatever Information you can.

We're going over there.

Sit down.

All right, mr. Laneer,

If you'll just step this way

And give the rest of your Statement to sergeant harris.

Kept trying to get her to Talk to me on the way over here.

I finally figured Out she was deaf.

She talks.

Whenever I go to cotterman's,

She's always there,

Discussing, uh, the Weather, current events.

Who to?

Mostly the pigeons.

You know, studies Done on these women

Have found that, often, They're wholly unresponsive

To outside overtures.

They exist totally in Their own fantasy land.

It requires a subtle and Psychological approach

To get through to them.

Well, then why don't you try it?

Hey, lady?

Lady?

I gave it my best shot.

Okay, then, date of birth?

How old are you?

Come on, when were you born?

Problems, wojo?

Well, so far, the only Thing I've been able

To get on the report is "Sex."

Very good.

Barn.

I can get through To her, I know it.

It's just a matter of a Little time and patience.

Uh, at the moment, wojo,

You've got an attempted Escape in progress.

Wait, hold it. No, wait.

I'm not done yet.

Come on. Just...

Go and sit down, all right?

I mean, uh, I'm not Trying to hurt you.

I'm trying to help you.

Just her way of saying "Thanks."

Ah, so anything stolen?

No, not so far as we could tell,

But he turned over Tables, broke test tubes,

And destroyed the products We've been working on.

And what products are those?

There's all sorts.

There's antifreeze and Roach killers and soft drinks.

You make soda pop, too?

Yes.

Now put that back.

That's police property.

Gee!

What'd you do with my baseball?

Come on, my Baseball, where is it?

I think I have it.

Oh.

Well, give it back to me.

Hey, nice move.

Oh, well, thanks.

I, uh, I used to, uh, Pitch a little in school.

Had a 1.6 earned run average.

Used to bat .420.

No kidding.

Yeah. Had an offer From the mets.

And you wound up with A toilet-paper company?

Yeah, well... You Know how mothers are.

Yeah.

We through here?

Uh, yeah. Uh-huh.

Oh, hey, captain?

I've given your office All the information I can.

Now the rest is Gonna be up to you.

Uh, look here... Do you Make the kind of soda

That comes in Those pop-top cans?

- is there anything else? - nope.

Yeah, look, what I want to Know is how come them suckers

Is always snappin' Off in your hand,

And then you end up With a bunch of junk

And no way to get at it?

Just something that Had to be said, barn.

Afternoon. Manpower reports.

I'm sure you could use Some more help up here,

But that's another subject.

I'll take a look.

Wojo: look, you got To talk sometime.

I mean, you want to back There out on the street?

What'd she do?

Hooker.

Thought so.

Uh, barney?

Uh, barney, I got a Couple of possibilities

- on our hawk. - oh, good, what have you got?

Oh, uh, it's just some, uh,

Some guys who have Been, uh, busted before

For harassing corporations... You know, power companies.

Sad case.

Yeah, barney.

They're such tragic cases, Those ladies, you know?

And you see them All the time, you know,

Sitting in doorways all alone.

Those tacky old dresses.

Looking at you like a lost dog.

- I know. - yeah.

Barn, you know, they can Really blow your whole day.

She's picking Through that trash.

Why are they always Picking through the trash?

Nick, would you Keep an eye on her?

- sure. - thank you.

Would you care For a cup of coffee?

Everybody says that.

She still won't talk, huh?

I tried everything but Putting a gun to her head.

Got any identification on her?

Like a driver's license?

Like a social security Card, a letter, anything?

She's got a tattoo.

Where?

On the palm of her hand.

What's it say?

Mother.

That's it?

No, there's more, but It's covered with dirt.

Dietrich: captain?

Dispatch just got a call From, uh, mcmillan chemical.

Somebody's out on the Ledge of the 40th floor.

Doing what?

He's writing on the Side of the building.

Oh, he's not a jumper?

Unless it's a suicide note.

You and nick.

- let's go, nick. - okay.

Geez. You call this coffee?

Who asked you?

And, uh, the guy Was, uh, about 25,

And he was about My height, right?

Yeah, but not your build.

He was skinny.

Not enough meat on him.

Right.

Never did like skinny men.

Like chewing on a bone.

I got to know how old you are.

61.

I turned 45 in '61.

45 in '61.

61...

That's 61.

Yeah.

Right.

Me and my late husband

Went on a cruise to Bermuda that year.

Uh, last permanent address?

I'm saving up to Take another trip.

Maybe next winter.

That sounds nice.

Want to go?

Uh, me?

Uh... No, I got to work.

They're the ones You want to arrest!

They're the ones Who ought to be in jail!

Don't arrest me, for God's sake. I'm on your side.

Just take it easy.

This is mr. Alvin Trager, captain.

This is our hawk?

Uh-huh. He's a window Washer for the building.

And I seen it all...

The midnight conferences, The secret shreddings.

They're all maniacs! Just take it easy.

Never in my whole Life have I seen

Such obscenity and Filth on a building.

How long you been out of town?

That's evidence.

That's proof of how They're poisoning us.

These are the property Of mcmillan chemical,

And we'd like them back.

You're killing us With your chemicals.

Hey, hey, I'm just a lawyer.

They're killing us With their lawyers, too!

Take it easy.

It's evidence, mr. Laneer. It's been impounded.

But, uh, everyone's Rights will be respected.

In the meantime, why Don't you have a seat,

And sergeant harris will Help you swear out a complaint.

I want to fill out A complaint, too!

Dietrich will be Glad to help you.

Have a seat, mr. Trager.

You heard about the dvcp?

The men who worked in the Plants where they make it?

Now they find out They can't have children.

They're all sterile!

Take it easy, will you?

Doesn't anybody care?

How would you Like to be impotent?

Oh, no, thanks.

Hey, barney.

You should have seen What he was doing up there.

He was spray-painting a letter On each one of the windows.

It was like a giant, Filthy crossword puzzle.

People love word games.

I copied it down, you Know, for the evidence.

Thank you.

We caught him, uh, before He was quite finished.

You can see that He was in the middle

Of a 7-window word on The 39th floor, across.

Very good.

I'll, uh, fill it in myself.

They're murderers. Don't you understand?

They're fouling Everything they touch...

The rivers, the Oceans, the sky itself!

The man is out of his mind.

We are one of the most

Ecologically responsible Companies in this whole state.

Every living thing you See is covered with filth

And stinks of contamination!

He's just speaking Figuratively, mrs. Hirsch.

Barn, I can't let her go Back there out on the street.

Wha... Wha... What's she Gonna do when winter comes?

I thought you were Taking her to bermuda.

I ain't going to bermuda.

Wojo, I've got just As much compassion

For the lady as you do.

But I have respect for Her as a person with dignity

And the right to choose The way she wants to live.

It's just that I...

I feel like, uh, if I could help her,

It would make up for it.

Make up for what?

Well...

I guess it has, sort of, To do with my mother.

You know, I mean, I Caused her a lot of pain.

Wojo, we all do... Growing up.

No, I'm... I'm talking About at birth.

I weighed 11 1/2 pounds.

My mother was in Labor for 13 hours.

Wojo, that's not your fault.

Of course it is.

Nick: barney?

We got a problem.

Another step, And I'll drink this.

I was taking him to the cage. He grabbed it off nick's desk.

What is it?

Another fine poison

From the kitchens Of mcmillan chemical.

Take it easy, Mr. Trager. Take it easy.

Mr. Laneer, is it possible

That what mr. Trager Is holding is poisonous?

Of course not.

You're sure?

Well, I mean,

There's millions of Chemicals in the lab.

You're not sure?

I don't know.

My death will be The ultimate proof.

Aah! Don't move. I'll swallow.

I'm not moving. Nobody's moving.

Afternoon mail, gentlemen.

Not now, levitt.

Have I come at a bad time, sir?

Mr. Trager's threatening To kill himself.

I better hold the Mail for a while.

- good idea. - just hang loose.

Pardon the expression.

Mr. Trager, this is not Gonna accomplish anything.

You can't do that.

Why not?

Because it doesn't Belong to you.

Lawyers... You're Worse than all the rest.

Look, you don't Have to be abusive.

Mr. Laneer, please.

I hate lawyers!

Well, don't blame Me. Blame my mother.

The two of you, Now just cut it out.

Mr. Trager?

Give me the tube.

Sure.

Wojo, call bellevue. We're Gonna need an ambulance.

Harris, dietrich?

Yeah, barn?

What is it?!

Doesn't matter. I'm as good as dead.

You're not gonna Die in my squad room

If I got to squeeze That stuff out of you.

Sit down!

Dietrich, get some water. Maybe we can dilute the stuff.

Uh, barn, they need To know what it is.

What is it?!

Food coloring!

It's food... Coloring.

With red dye #2.

I'll be dead from Cancer in 30 years.

It'll be on your head.

Put him in the cage.

Right. Come on.

Uh, captain, look. I've Signed the complaint.

Is there anything else?

That's it, mr. Laneer.

You know, I, uh...

I really do enjoy Being in the law.

I'm sure it has its rewards.

'cause, you know, baseball... What can you expect?

Hopefully you make the Majors, maybe be in a series.

But you see, on the Other hand, in law,

You can go all the way and End up on the supreme court.

You know, respected, Revered, influential.

That's true.

Of course,

Warren burger will never Be on a bubble-gum card.

That's true, too.

Yeah. Well, goodbye.

Well?

Well, what?

Do I go now?

Just...

Yeah, you can go now.

Listen, now, wait a minute.

You, uh, you take Care of yourself.

Uh, dress... Dress warm,

And, uh, remember to eat.

Yeah.

You, too.

Good luck, mrs. Hirsch.

This here belongs to you.

Uh, katie.

Uh, keep it.

You know, it can be A sort of a, uh, uh...

Keepsake?

Yeah.

But no bermuda?

No.

Are you still working on that?

I almost had it all,

But I'm stuck with this Word across the 42nd floor.

I thought I knew every Dirty word there was,

But nothing seems to fit.

Whatever it is, it's Probably something

That only a twisted and Demented mind would come up with.

Any ideas?

It fits.