Original subtitles

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boys Phyllis this is my kind of Saturday

nothing to do just relax and no choice

for anyone how about that Tom all right

dad

huh oh no Laurie tell me that princess

doesn't need her bed cleaned princess

wants her bed cleaned oh there goes the

day all the weekend Fred by the time I

washer and you clean all the dog hair

out of the plumbing don't worry dad lori

and i have found the answer it's

Williams flea free stay clean pet bed

and cut

how was that was that okay that time

well the princess seems to be getting it

Lassie oh yes Tom yes uh the rest of you

need to relax a little bit more a

Phyllis d

I'm sure we paying you guys six thousand

dollars Phyllis your first line the word

is it not her ah and we're supposed to

relax relax but don't fall apart Keith

hmm could we see you for a moment oh

yeah excuse me excuse me I knew it I

knew it wasn't good well I think it's

your first line that's throwing us all i

said was all right yeah but you're all

right with it all right it needs to be

all right Maury Tom Megan well we're not

gonna do this unless we can have fun

doing it but mama I already told all my

friends I was gonna be on TV plus we

agreed to do this because it was

supposed to be fun so let's have some

fun Megan I mean how often does a whole

family get to work together and that's

why they hired us because we're supposed

to be the typical happy american family

I know I was one who got is this job

remember I was one who suggested they

recreate our kitchen I was the one the

casting director spotted on the street

well lass he's the one the casting lady

saw on the street you just happened to

be on the other end of the leash

I'm going to get a drink okay meet you

mm-hmm Fred at Phyllis now I I don't

want to get you all uptight but it just

isn't perfect now of course that's

because you're you're not actors I

thought that was the whole point I mean

you wanted your average American family

edit there's nobody more average than us

Fred you're depressing me oh

come on smile because tomorrow morning

you get new dialogue oh whoa like I

thought you said that we were gonna wrap

this thing up in two days well you know

after all the time and after it we've

spent we'd like to get it perfect we

both have jobs which I for when I'm

going to lose if I don't get back to it

oh gee I really wish I could promise you

to finish but well take a look at your

contract I've got you for the duration I

really can't take off more than two days

well of course if you can't you can't

yeah I'm sorry we're gonna have to get

another family no wait you need a whole

new family if mom can't do it you could

just hire a new mom Megan uh-huh

if your mother goes so do I ok folks

what's it gonna be how would a single

parent family that's today how about a

childless couple that's very big today

Megan dad it's nothing personal but what

about the contract don't we honor the

contracts we make yes in our contracts

at two days well the contract guarantees

us two days after that it's their option

I read the fine print I don't think I

can do well if you can't you can't but

don't talk to me call my lawyers

okay I'll call my boss Oh what troopers

now listen just relax take a deep breath

and now we're going to do the original

dialogue and I want you to speak it as

naturally as you can but exactly as it's

written okay

with feeling and passion and sincerity

Reagan we're not doing Hamlet here we're

doing doggy bed

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after so you really love this bed Lassie

this is your favorite possession oh

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great

Lassie it's flea free and you'll rise oh

yeah this is better a real house and a

real ceiling

let's rehearse tomorrow's lines beggin

we said that we'd go back tomorrow we

did not say that we would rehearse

tonight I was just trying to help you

hmm i think you should read your line

like this once a week just replace the

Handy disposable bed liner I

think that lassie found something that's

disposable to

Lassie ah Megan

we have to talk

what about about your behavior today

what do you mean all this was supposed

to be the family doing something

together

but you were ready to dump mom me or

anybody as long as they kept you I

didn't mean it that way yes she did at

that moment you meant exactly what you

said but once that she didn't have time

to do it and besides this could be a

great opportunity for me acting can be

my career Megan if you want to be an

actor will back you a hundred percent

but don't do it by walking over

everybody that loves you I know I'm

sorry I didn't mean it

it's just that this is really important

to me

okay let's rehearse these lines

you start

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now we'll when you say so we found a

better way think about punching no we a

little more

don't really want to talk about punching

anything right now okay Megan I was just

trying to help don't all right

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well lassie

lassie don't mention this to anybody but

I want you to know that I enjoy

directing you more than any other actor

I know well you're no trouble you're not

temperamental and unlike one actor i

know you have never bitten your director

oh

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thank you very very much you're very

polite very helpful ah

and you work for dog biscuits

places everyone okay let's now pick it

up with friends line now princess won't

have to smell

and

action

now princess won't have to smell like

pine scented doctors are phone um Keith

could I just try it once just like a

normal person like now princess won't

have to smell like a pine scented

doctor's office yeah no no Fred if we

wanted that actors studio stuff we would

have gotten Brando we want you we want

you big we want to sell the product

that's what the agency wants big big big

okay hungry

action hmm now princess won't have to

smell like a pine scented doctor's

office and these can damage the

environment but we found a better way

Williams flea free stay clean disposable

liners all the magic is right here in

the downy soft comforter and you can

throw the old liner into the trash

because it's biodegradable come on

Princess your bed is ready

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Wow this will ms pet bed really looks

great for pet care that's hassle-free

it's Williams flea free stay clean pet

bed

okay cut oh how was that oh good good

but not perfect oh

we can do it better

take five okay everyone take five

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you know you folks have an outstanding

dog

yeah we love her a lot huh it's not a

better dog than Lassie

I've become very attached to her myself

I suppose everybody says this about

their dog but with lassie it's really

true she is one of the family lassie you

are a wonderful dog a great dog that's

why it's so hard to say this I hit

myself but Lassie you're fired

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Helen let me get this straight you're

firing lassie you're replacing lassie

with a cocker spaniel that's not just a

cocker spaniel this is money in the bank

it looks like a dog to me

yes but not just a dog it's the dog now

we have a memo here from the advertising

agency which says that research has

shown the American Kennel Club says the

cocker spaniel is the most popular dog

in the world yeah but he's not ours all

wrong is Lassie I can't imagine will

with another dog you've heard the

expression of boy and his dog there they

are yes but the agency wants a boy in

the number one dog now research shows

that the Kali is 23rd in popularity

behind the basset hound the Chow Chow

even the Rottweiler

don't care what they say lassies number

one I know how you feel but Rusty's a

train performer I know you're not gonna

have any trouble that's right I won't

cuz I won't be walking with him if Flass

he goes we go no we don't that's

unprofessional

it's tough but actors get higher than

actors get fired that's showbiz

don't look at me

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well I'm ready when you are

d honey you can't work all day and all

night

but believe me I understand how will

feels dad megan is flipping out

ok honey uh I'm gonna have to call you

back she says I can't quit what are they

gonna do ban me from acting forever good

if they're stupid enough to replace

Lassie with the cocker spaniel who cares

who needs them I'm afraid Megan's right

dad was supposed to be us in that

commercial and off that last you want

the McCullough's I

understand how you feel will but we have

to honor the contract right the six

thousand dollars I guess if we quit now

we'll have nothing to show for it

nothing in the college fund it's not

about money I'm a contractor I deal with

contracts all the time but I've never

broken one I don't think you should get

all worked up about it but lassie seems

to be taking it all right glassy

and rusty seems like a nice little dog

yeah I guess besides means a lot to your

sister okay dad maybe lassie doesn't

care now I

just hope she doesn't see us on TV the

cocker spaniel

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one more time timer oh

okay what is it and the magic is right

oh okay and the magic is right here in

the downy soft comfort pad and you can

throw the old liner into the trash

because it's biodegradable mom last year

sorry last he keeps staring at me lassie

always stares at you she likes you

Tommy let's take that last line again

Xiao en we want to make it perfect uh

Phyllis lead him into it sure and you

can throw the old liner into the trash

because it's biodegradable come on

Francis your bed is ready

can we have a moment sure

hey why don't you go get a cold drink

okay oh come on lastly let's go eat a

dog biscuit

mm-hmm

not you

all right

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Christopher what are we gonna do I'll

tell you gonna do you were right and I

was wrong about what about this

commercial we're gonna forget the whole

thing good we can't I mean what will I

tell all my friends and what about the

six thousand dollars in case you haven't

noticed we could make more than six

thousand dollars selling the blood that

will is spilling here yeah why don't you

worry about your brother a little okay

but why does then someone worry about me

you seem to be doing a pretty good job

of that all by yourself

folks we need to talk you bet we do this

isn't working nope this isn't working

we'll just you just can't work without

lassie well he's not going to have to so

much for the Kennel Club's poll on the

popularity of American dogs see a

director needs a vision not statistics

lassies back in thanks to you me yep a

boy and his dog remember you were right

will and lassie have something very

special I think I can get that on film I

know I can all right let's try it

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what I'm trying to tell you and I'm

sorry Megan but I've decided to shoot

just a boy and his dog

you

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I

don't know what to say

dad please don't try to make me feel

better I've already been through this

all with mom just go ahead and say it

I'm sorry not that I

love you

know

what

what everybody's dying to say that's

showbiz

Megan the director just told me I'm

sorry it's a rotten deal I guess I

really made a jerk of myself hey no

argument here Hey

well

it's up to you now

you and lassie are you kidding me out of

here wait a minute you don't want to do

it now hey they don't you guys I feel

just as bad as when they dumped Lassie

hey don't worry about me I've had more

fun pouring some mint well it bothers

Megan right now I feel awful

terrible

but if you don't go ahead with this I'll

feel even worse I'll feel like you

didn't do it because of me

like it was my fault

they're not gonna use the rest of us I

guess it's their loss and

if I can't brag about myself

at least I can brag about my brother

what do you say Lassie

well it's ok Lassie

black

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go on okay

mom i see

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well now i know what to say what I'm

proud of you

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okay let's shoot it

last note they say it's not over until

it's over I remember will we don't want

it so big you know we want real human

being maybe we can just something for

Megan

let's roll okay listen this is it

and

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action hmm

taking care of my dog is a big

responsibility but she's worth it and

one great help i've discovered is

williams all right fitbit last year

where you going cut cut what is it now

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lassie get back in there nicely there

waiting for you

what's wrong now what does she want

Megan

um she won't do the commercial unless

Megan des too

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we have got a brilliant idea

Lori you get in there oh I can make this

work I could make it wonderful come on

Meg

come on what are you waiting for on one

condition what is it anything my name

isn't Lori and my brother's name isn't

tom i'm meghan in he's will perfect

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and our dog's name is in princess she's

lassie

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you