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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,600 This programme contains some scenes of a sexual nature. 2 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:11,800 Oh, Jill, I'm so glad we've married. 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,680 I could do this all day! 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,160 It's lovely, Glen. 5 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:22,240 - I don't know if you were planning on leading onto a normal sex game or something a bit more... - you know? 6 00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:27,080 I haven't really had much of any kind of intercourse. Normal's OK for me. 7 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,800 I thought we could try auto-erotic asphyxiation. 8 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,480 Is that involving a car? 9 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,520 It's a sort of strangling, but not actually. Oh. 10 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,040 Mm? OK. 11 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:41,560 The moment of your ejection is that bit nicer cos you can't breathe. 12 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:46,400 I do recall reading something similar about a Conservative MP with a Jaffa in his gob. 13 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:50,040 - Wanted something to snack on. - Half time at football. 14 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,400 Shall we give it a bash? Why not? 15 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,360 You're only young once, Jill. 16 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:03,240 I need to get you warmed up, haven't I, Jill? 17 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,280 You're very sexy in your top. 18 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,080 Jill! Jill! 19 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,320 Jill! 20 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:14,440 You caught me a bit off guard then! 21 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,760 Should have more of a run up to it. 22 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,640 OK. A bit of foreplay. Why not? 23 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,360 You've lovely long legs. You spider... 24 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,160 HE CHOKES 25 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,000 Hi, Sandy! 26 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,040 Hi! How is she? 27 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,120 Ahhhhh! 28 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,840 Ahhhhhh! 29 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,200 DOORBELL 30 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,960 Morning! 31 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,400 Oh! 32 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,760 Sue! 33 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,880 How's you? 34 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:17,000 Ah! Lovely to see you, Sue. 35 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,360 Jill, this is Vicar Arno. 36 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,720 Jill. 37 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,240 - So what brings you down here, Sue? - You hubby hunting? 38 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,200 I'm just... Just...staying for a while 39 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,320 to support Catherine. 40 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,600 Best friends. 41 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,640 We miss you, Sue. 42 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:38,240 Mum, I can't find my trainers. 43 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:42,000 They're right by your bed, I think, Bruce. OK. 44 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,040 Talk about skeletons, Cath. 45 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,080 He'll fill out. 46 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,040 I'm talking about sons I've never heard of coming out the woodworm. 47 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:57,120 Bruce was at boarding school down here so... 48 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,800 There's always one you love less. 49 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,800 Oops! 50 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:11,760 I'm just going to dash upstairs and have a quick shower. 51 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,920 I've got my appointment at Trees with Jacques. 52 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,640 So, excuse me. 53 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:23,560 Cathy - cappuccino would be nice. 54 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,680 Right. 55 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,280 How's Gordon, Sue? 56 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,320 He's dead, Jill. 57 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:36,800 I know. 58 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:43,320 It was Jill's fiance - Glen - that put Gordon in a coma. 59 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,320 Sorry, Sue. 60 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,120 It must be hard to forgive such a thing. 61 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,880 So, do you see any future for yourself, Sue? 62 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,840 Or are you going to call it a day? 63 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,440 I don't know really. 64 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,840 I just think I should hold onto my faith 65 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:07,120 and accept life as a useless, old widow. 66 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,880 Yes. 67 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:31,000 How many of those have you had, Sue? 68 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,640 Four. 69 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,800 Never get a husband as a fatty, Sue. 70 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,120 Big is beautiful. He would say that. 71 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,440 Ah, well - as long as you're not after Don. 72 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:53,760 Cos we all know deep down he's meant for someone else. I know. 73 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,440 It's wonderful. 74 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,800 Cath always loves being pregnant. 75 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,040 # Since you been gone Since you been gone 76 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,320 # I'm out of my head, can't take it... # 77 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,560 Sorry to bother you, Miss Floella. 78 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,960 I got you a sandwich. 79 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,640 Congratulations, Cathy! 80 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,080 Oh! 81 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,920 Gosh! Thank you! 82 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,240 Does Jacques know? 83 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,840 No. No. I haven't told him yet. 84 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,800 The daddy's got the right to know. 85 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:45,600 - Jacques' not the father, Jill. - It's Don's. 86 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,800 Don? 87 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:52,920 I'm assuming you had IBS, Cath, at your age. 88 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,800 Jill, 89 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,320 Cherie Blair had a child at 47. 90 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,400 I know. Have you seen it? 91 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:06,520 Sue, I really appreciate you not creeping up on us like a dog at a disco. 92 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:10,160 Just wiping off... It's a private conversation. 93 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,400 Are you sure you feel OK about it? 94 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,080 Yes. Fine. 95 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,680 It's just it's quite a big step, Cathy, 96 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,880 to bring a backward child into a broken home. 97 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:25,520 - Thank you, Jill. - You know, it's not too late to... 98 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,520 I mean, I do have contacts... 99 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,960 Linda who used to work on a farm. 100 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:33,760 I won't tell anyone. 101 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,000 No! No! 102 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:38,920 No! I don't want to do that! 103 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,920 No - Linda would do it. 104 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,680 Sue! 105 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:49,160 Just celebrating Cathy's forthcoming er... 106 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,000 the little one. 107 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,480 Praise be! 108 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,640 Praise be! 109 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:04,760 Maybe slip some pants on, Cath, so the baby doesn't get the wrong idea. 110 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,680 Got to go, Cathy. 111 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,200 OK. 112 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,000 Golly gum drops! 113 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,560 Do you know anything about that, Jill? 114 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,360 Don't know, Cath. 115 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,360 I mean, Sue was piling in them biscuits. 116 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:36,080 Maybe the vicar, you know, in his country... 117 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,640 Mustn't get cross. 118 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,920 Don's moved back in, which is... 119 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,840 He says I've got to relax and chill. 120 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,760 MUSIC BLARES 121 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,280 TYRES SCREECH 122 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,160 There we are then. 123 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:31,360 - I will have to ask you for �46.50. - I'm sorry, but... 124 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,760 OK. 125 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,240 For the petrol. 126 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,200 Cleaning bill, Cath. 127 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,640 Oh. Sorry. 128 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,520 Cathy, 129 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,640 don't worry about petrol. 130 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,280 Oh, thank you, Jill. 131 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:50,120 We'll square up later, otherwise it just gets nasty. 132 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:56,080 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 133 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,560 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. 134 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,320 And stretch! 135 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,280 Cathy, keep up! 136 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,280 Leg yaaawwwwwwwwnnn! 137 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:13,440 Papa's doing something that he shouldn't 138 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,960 on the lawn. 139 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,800 Split trumpet! 140 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,240 Split trumpet! Split trumpet! 141 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,400 And pig! 142 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,480 Rolling the sausage. 143 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,200 Hey! Good to see you dripping. 144 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,520 Oh, goodness! 145 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,120 Bit out of shape? 146 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:41,920 Mm, no. 147 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,360 I'm... 148 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,720 I'm pregnant, actually, Jacques. 149 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,160 I hope that's OK. 150 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,760 Hey, your age needn't be an issue. 151 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,000 Pippa was 45 when she birthed my first. 152 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,360 Seeing that head emerge from the yoni... 153 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,200 Well proud moment. Yes. 154 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,480 No drugs. No. I... 155 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,000 Cos usually I was stoned out of my box. 156 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,000 Goodness! 157 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,280 Are you OK? 158 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:28,200 # Saying I love you 159 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:32,600 # Is not the words I want to hear... # 160 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,440 Agh! Jill, 161 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,800 I'm going to have to go. Cath will be wondering where I've got to. 162 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:47,320 Please stay with me, Don. I've got a pot of ravioli in my bag. 163 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,240 Sounds great, Jill, but... 164 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,480 I've got to go. 165 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:55,000 - Please stay, Don. - We could share some meaty cushions. 166 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,520 Hm. 167 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,720 Ow! 168 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:02,200 Sorry, Don. It's my diabetes. 169 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,040 Please. 170 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,320 I just want to share some love with you, Don. 171 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,440 No strings. 172 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,640 And I'm not talking about tampons, Don. 173 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,240 Good. 174 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,720 Oh, Don! 175 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,280 Look... 176 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,400 I'm sorry, Jill, but... Oh! 177 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,040 Jill?! 178 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,400 God! 179 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,280 SHE SHRIEKS 180 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,120 Oh, God, Don! Please stay with me. 181 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:49,360 Please stay with me just till I pass over. 182 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,440 Jill, look, I don't want to. 183 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:58,320 And even if I did, I'd never leave a pregnant woman. 184 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,480 RELAXING MUSIC PLAYS 185 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,880 Sorry, Cath. 186 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,960 Sorry. Did I wake you, Cathy? 187 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,680 Yes. 188 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,360 Sorry. 189 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,920 Oh, Cath. What is it? 190 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,440 I was looking at birthing pools for you on the internet. 191 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,200 Thank you, Jill. 192 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:48,120 And I found something, Cath. 193 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:51,160 Please don't look, Cath. 194 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,640 Ugh! 195 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,240 Oh! 196 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,080 I know. 197 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,040 But how...? 198 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,240 Oh! 199 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,680 I don't understand. 200 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:11,800 I mean, I've done that one, that one, I had a go at that one as well. 201 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:16,440 I was just saying to Sue that Don's been fine 202 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,760 and really quite attentive. 203 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,840 Where is he now, Cathy? 204 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,520 Be out there somewhere filling up on porn like an elephant on buns. 205 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:31,400 NO, no. He's at the hospital having a...a minor operation. 206 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,240 Oh, my God! Is he having his face shortened? 207 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,120 No, Jill. He's... 208 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:41,280 ..he's having a vasectomy. 209 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:23,760 Aren't you supposed to hit it or something, Jill? 210 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,920 Do you want me to have a go, Jill? 211 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,080 Right. 212 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,360 Do we put it in the front bottom or the back bottom, Jill? 213 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,960 Linda! 214 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,600 Right. 215 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:18,280 - Oh, my God, Linda! - Get her steak and kidneys! 216 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:30,800 OK, Jill. No, me, Linda! 217 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:35,320 - Sorry, are you hungry, Jill? - Would you just tip it in there?! 218 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,400 Right. 219 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,160 Steak going in. 220 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,680 Onion going in. 221 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,080 Pea going in. 222 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:55,680 Kidney going in. Want a bit of mash with that, do ya? 223 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,080 Just tip the bloody plate up there! 224 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:17,960 - What kind of images? - I think it might be helpful if you could describe some of the images you saw. 225 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,400 Er... 226 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,760 Well, um... 227 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:30,280 The woman was...lying on a bed... 228 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:35,240 Mm-hmm. And her legs...were open... 229 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,840 Mmm. And, er... 230 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,120 Naked? 231 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,960 Yeah. Ha, ha, ha! 232 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,280 Er...and...um... 233 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,400 There was...gaffer tape, 234 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:53,480 taping up her...um... 235 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,320 vulva. 236 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,320 Right. 237 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:04,200 And there seemed to be... a thermometer sticking out of her...vagina... 238 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,280 entrance... 239 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:13,440 Um...and her arms were bound 240 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,520 from the elbow to the wrist. 241 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,360 And her breasts? 242 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,880 Were they bound? 243 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,400 They had something round them. 244 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,800 Popping out? No? Bursting? 245 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,720 Well, they looked pretty sore! 246 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:36,160 And some of the girls, you know... they were very young. 247 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,640 They really were very young, 248 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:42,360 and...what upsets me is... 249 00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:47,080 I wouldn't mind dressing up as a school girl... 250 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,440 with...the right person. 251 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:57,600 Often men who use pornography 252 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,200 are frightened of women. 253 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,640 The power of the vulva. 254 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,720 Are you frightened of your vulva, Catherine? 255 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,880 Um, not at the moment particularly. 256 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:18,000 With some guys, it's not a question of, "Am I gonna eat pussy?" 257 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,920 it's more a question of, "Is pussy gonna eat me?" 258 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,080 Yeah. 259 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,120 You feel like sex on the ground floor, Jill? 260 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,360 No...I... 261 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:37,480 SHE LAUGHS 262 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:42,080 I thought today, Glen, we could go feed the ducks. 263 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,760 Oh! I don't mind getting cosy in the long grass, Jill, 264 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:51,040 but I'd rather stay away from the water, I'm a wee bit frightened of it. Really? Yes. 265 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,800 Been known to pass out in the bath! 266 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,840 Once slipped under the water 267 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,840 and came to on the hearth rug in front of Stars On Sunday 268 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,880 with Daddy pumping up and down in front of me. Oh, dear. 269 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,240 Pumping water out of my lungs. Oh! 270 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:11,720 These days I tend to have more of a cat wash, just under the arms and downstairs 271 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,920 and sometimes my face. 272 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,960 - You can't swim, though? - No, can't swim. 273 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,960 Gotta be careful round water! 274 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,520 Gotta be careful round the ducks, then. 275 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:27,680 - Very dangerous, the ducks. Yeah? - Yeah, they can break your arm. 276 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:31,120 - Break your knee soon as look at you! - Ha, ha, ha! 277 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:34,200 Hello, ducks! Come on, Mr duck! 278 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,080 - They're all out today. - Wanna have a little go? 279 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,920 I'll stand well back. 280 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:45,760 - All right. - We can settle up for the bread later, Glen, otherwise it just gets nasty. 281 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,440 It's a lovely scene, Jill, isn't it? 282 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,160 Like something from a catalogue! 283 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,760 You in your mushroom! 284 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:59,600 - Ahh! I feel all safe now. - So do I. 285 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,920 You should be the other way round, mind! 286 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,720 Ha, ha, ha! 287 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,160 - Why, you little...! - Almost had me in there! 288 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,600 Think I've had enough of the ducks for today. 289 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,440 Oh, just a bit of horseplay! Oh! 290 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:13,560 Maybe a little more! 291 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:14,960 Oh! 292 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,000 THEY BOTH LAUGH 293 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,280 Aaargh! 294 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:25,040 - No, no, help! I can't swim! - Jill, help me! 295 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:29,360 HE GASPS AND SHOUTS 296 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,560 LOUD SNORING 297 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:52,520 Thank you. I am still not pregnant, Linda and it is your fault. 298 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,840 Give Me Joy In My Heart 299 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:16,080 Bruce! Evening prayers are on TV! 300 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,600 OK! > 301 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,560 MOANING > 302 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,440 Ah ha ha! 303 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,760 GROANING CONTINUES > 304 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,600 KNOCK AT DOOR 305 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,800 Come in. 306 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,680 Hi, Bruce. How's you? 307 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:45,960 Fine. 308 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,800 Nice to see you, to see you nice! 309 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,400 Lovely. 310 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,720 I used to be a model, Bruce. 311 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,520 A model what? Glamour model. 312 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,960 I've actually brought you my calendar, Bruce. 313 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,680 I'll just show you a couple of pictures. 314 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,560 Um...that's me February. 315 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,360 Bent over a pony. 316 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:17,680 Um...November. 317 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:21,680 Just having a little shower with an orang-utan. 318 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,880 And then my favourite, 319 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,600 dancing with an ostrich, December. 320 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,080 Cos I'm actually a very attractive woman, Bruce. 321 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:38,560 I've actually been assaulted on more than two occasions. 322 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,880 Pick a colour. 323 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,400 Green. 324 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,200 G-R-EEN. 325 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:55,760 This Love by Maroon 5 326 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,040 # I was so high I did not recognise 327 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,720 # The fire burning in her eyes 328 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,520 # The chaos that controlled my mind 329 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,120 # Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane 330 00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:25,760 # Never to return again 331 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,040 # But always in my heart... # 332 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:32,440 - Bruce? Do you like my dancing? - Not really. 333 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,600 # This love has taken its toll on me 334 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,800 # She said goodbye Too many time before... # 335 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:39,920 MUSIC STOPS 336 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,240 That's good. 337 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,000 It's a really good picture, Bruce. 338 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,400 Is it a little piggy? 339 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,440 It's Mum. Oh. 340 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:03,880 Have you ever done life drawing, Bruce? I dunno. 341 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:07,680 It's things like fruit, you know, like apples, 342 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,760 bananas, sometimes pineapples. 343 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,360 And naked ladies. 344 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,520 Apparently, Linda, Bruce would like to paint you, 345 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,560 so I'd like you to go over there, take all your clothes off, 346 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,240 and leave him with these tissues. 347 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,800 In case he starts crying? 348 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,280 I spy with my little eye... 349 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,440 Something beginning wiiiiiiith... 350 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,520 Lamp. 351 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,160 Lampshade? 352 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,280 No, lamp. 353 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:53,480 It's my go, now, cos I just won that one. See? Yeah, OK. 354 00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:59,240 I spy with my little eye 355 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,400 something beginning wiiiiiiiith... 356 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,080 Crayon. Crayon. 357 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,360 - Jill said I gotta give you these. - Thanks. 358 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:46,280 I'm looking specifically for pants, Linda, there's bound to be something on pants. 359 00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:51,640 I got some, Jill! 360 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,360 - Yeah, they look yellow. Yellow? - His Dennis is yellow? 361 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:04,200 - What's that, Jill? - It's an ultraviolet scanner, Linda, for stains. 362 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,000 SCANNER BEEPS 363 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:12,000 - Oh, my God! Look at these sheets! - Absolutely covered! 364 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,880 Oh! Smells funny, Jill. The sperm's very strong at their age, Linda. 365 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,520 They're like angry little mackerel. 366 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:23,160 Don't worry, Jill, we'll get it in! Every last drop. 367 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:32,480 - sLinda! - I'm a very accommodating person, but that sheet is a king-size. 368 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,240 Sorry. 369 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,320 It's all over my hands now, Jill. It's all sticky. 370 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:49,000 Well, put your hand up there, Linda, it only stays alive for 32 seconds! 371 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,480 Jill? 372 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,520 I can't get it out! 373 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,360 I think it's stuck! 374 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:06,440 Linda, we'll have to chop your hand off! 375 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,560 CAR APPROACHES 376 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:14,720 THUD 377 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,720 Oh, I think that's the lot of it. 378 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:35,000 Oh, it was terrible down there! 379 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,600 I saw all sorts. 380 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,560 I thought I saw a monster. 381 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:44,120 But I remembered everything, Jean, about that night. 382 00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,680 About what Jill did that night. 383 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,400 She's trying to frame me, Jean. 384 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,640 And I'm really quite... 385 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,080 FROG RIBBITS 386 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,240 ..Cross 387 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,480 I'm pregnant. Aaaargh! 388 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,840 - Are you in any pain? - Absolutely riddled. 26763

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