All language subtitles for Barney Miller - S6EP11 - The Dentist 1080p_iris2

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:04,847 - I was sort of dozing... - mm-hmm. 2 00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:09,786 When suddenly I felt A hand on my body. 3 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,354 Yeah? 4 00:00:11,378 --> 00:00:13,556 - caressing... - mm-hmm. 5 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:16,225 Fondling. 6 00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:19,229 I opened my eyes a little. 7 00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:22,487 I'm sure I saw him touching me. 8 00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:25,968 Is this your regular dentist? 9 00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:29,539 No. It was only my Second appointment. 10 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:32,309 He was well Recommended by a friend. 11 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,533 She said he did wonderful work. 12 00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:39,271 I just assumed she was Talking about dentistry. 13 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:44,688 I... Have... Had it! 14 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,323 Morning, harris. 15 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:48,591 Barney, I'm telling you, I'm beginning to wonder 16 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,760 How anything ever gets Done in this country. 17 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,929 I was beginning to Wonder that myself. 18 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:55,965 Incompetence is epidemic. 19 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,700 For example? 20 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,636 Barn, look at this. 21 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:03,005 That's supposed to be the Cover for "Blood on the badge." 22 00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:06,242 I mean, the publisher sent That over for approval? 23 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:08,311 Sure eye-catching. 24 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,946 Barney, look at it. 25 00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:14,885 I mean, the title is... It's Hemorrhaging all over my name. 26 00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:18,721 Graphics are a bit less Than subtle, I grant you that. 27 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:22,658 I mean, you try and write a Sensitive, contemporary book, 28 00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:26,662 And some morbid cretin Pours a pail of blood all over it. 29 00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:28,999 Harris, the title Does suggest... 30 00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:33,103 Barney, look at this Photograph of me. 31 00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,905 I mean, first of all, It's in black and white. 32 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:40,009 I mean, I look all grainy. The lighting's all screwed up. 33 00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,078 You don't smoke a pipe. 34 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,080 Oh, that. 35 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:48,751 Well, you know, sometimes In a pensive mood, I kind of... 36 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,444 I think I feel one Coming on now. 37 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:55,747 Captain? 38 00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:58,495 That's miss evelyn swofford. 39 00:01:58,519 --> 00:01:59,519 Miss swofford? 40 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,767 She thinks her dentist Took advantage of her 41 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,501 While she was under the gas. 42 00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:06,535 Oh, you're kidding? 43 00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:09,873 Sort of oral high jinks. 44 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,741 All right, this Is captain miller. 45 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,442 Miss swofford. 46 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,911 I feel so embarrassed. 47 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,013 Oh, please, there's No reason to. 48 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:20,350 Oh, you mean, this has Happened to other women? 49 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:23,753 Uh, actually, you're our first. 50 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,121 I am? 51 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,724 I'm afraid this is a whole New category of crime, 52 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,358 As far as we're concerned. 53 00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,661 You don't think they'll Name it after me, do you? 54 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,797 I don't think you have To worry about that. 55 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,464 Dietrich, do you need miss Swofford for anything? 56 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,665 No, I don't. 57 00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:39,235 Uh, we'll check into it 58 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:40,503 And let you know If anything turns up. 59 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:41,805 Thank you. 60 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,439 Take care of yourself. 61 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:44,707 I'll run a check on the doc, 62 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,565 See if he has a record of Any prior swoffordings. 63 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,203 Bye again. 64 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:56,474 Yeah, I know. I got it. 65 00:02:58,211 --> 00:02:59,689 Barn, there's a disturbance 66 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,557 At a coffee shop over On west broadway. 67 00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:03,048 Uh, you and harris. 68 00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:08,331 Harris, come on. We got a call. 69 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,454 Yeah, sure. 70 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:11,801 What's this? 71 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,825 Yeah. Do you believe that? 72 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,073 I like it. 73 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,597 It's kind of messy, but it Sure gets your attention. 74 00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,835 Yeah. That's true. 75 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,737 Who's that guy with the pipe? 76 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,442 Oh, man. 77 00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:49,732 - morning. - morning. 78 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:50,833 Can I help you? 79 00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,268 Are you captain miller? 80 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,637 No, I'm sergeant Arthur dietrich. 81 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:55,605 And you are? 82 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,274 Looking for captain miller. 83 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,298 Right. 84 00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:02,746 Uh, captain, there's Somebody to see you. 85 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,803 - oh, who? - very funny. 86 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,453 - captain miller? - yes? 87 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:14,758 Sergeant holly Scofield, manhattan south. 88 00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:16,292 Ah. 89 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,261 I've been temporarily assigned To the 12th as per your request. 90 00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:20,797 Right. Glad to have you with us. 91 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,365 I go where I'm told. 92 00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:25,702 We're glad anyway. 93 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,303 My temporary transfer orders, 94 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,038 Along with a copy Of my service record. 95 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:32,008 Seven years on the force, Three in plain clothes, 96 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,264 Various commendations. 97 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:35,612 Any cavities? 98 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:38,080 Two and an impacted Wisdom tooth. 99 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:39,381 Good, good. 100 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:43,052 Uh, you are aware of the Nature of this assignment? 101 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,188 I'm posing as a Dental patient, right? 102 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,223 Right, and we have Reason to believe 103 00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,325 That our dentist Might become a bit, uh... 104 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,449 Horny? 105 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,196 Allegedly, yes. 106 00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,765 Okay. 107 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:59,068 - no problem with that? - no. 108 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,770 You? 109 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,605 No. 110 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:05,608 - dietrich? - not me. 111 00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:08,277 Would you review the Complaint with sergeant scofield? 112 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,378 Sure, sure, sure. 113 00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:12,649 Hey. I'm arthur. Remember me? 114 00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:15,384 Want to sit over there? 115 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:17,419 Mr. Crichton, right this way. 116 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:19,689 After me, who will be next... 117 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:23,159 Whistlers, hummers, People who tap their feet? 118 00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,649 If necessary. 119 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,632 Barn, this is henry crichton. 120 00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:32,301 We picked him up at The hudson river café 121 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,037 For disorderly conduct And disturbing the peace. 122 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,172 That's an opinion. 123 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,207 He was seated at The lunch counter 124 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:42,078 Making annoying, crass, And obscene noises. 125 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,780 Who said that? 126 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,715 I did. 127 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,616 Barn, what it is, he's Making these sounds 128 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,319 Like they used to Do in gym class. 129 00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:50,786 You know, with Your hands like that? 130 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:52,388 Not like that. 131 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:55,558 Well, uh, just show him. 132 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,647 Check this out. 133 00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:06,602 Barn, can we put the Cuffs back on him? 134 00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,837 Uh, mr. Crichton, We get the point. 135 00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:10,673 This is no schoolboy vulgarism. 136 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,276 I am a trained musician. 137 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,877 He was serenading the room 138 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:17,446 With tchaikovsky's "1812 overture." 139 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,715 - it's a very difficult piece. - hmm. 140 00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:22,185 When he got to the Cannon sequence, 141 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:25,789 It apparently was too much For some of the less hardy diners, 142 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:29,692 So the manager asked him To stop and a scuffle ensued. 143 00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,495 He tried to make Me put on my mittens. 144 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:36,699 And he absolutely Refused to stop... Playing, 145 00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,867 So the manager is Pressing charges. 146 00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:43,773 Sir, my art is my life. 147 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,576 Well, we're going to have To book you, mr. Crichton. 148 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,044 - harris? - oh, barney. 149 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,578 I'll take it. 150 00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:51,280 I don't mind. 151 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,104 Come on over here. 152 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,056 Oh, no, no, 1:30 would be fine. 153 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,524 Excuse me. 154 00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:05,862 Yeah, I'm very grateful that The doctor could squeeze me in. 155 00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,664 Okay. See you in a little while. 156 00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:10,133 Can I help you? 157 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,935 No. 158 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,769 This is my desk. 159 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,961 Oh. Sorry. 160 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:21,277 You know, you really Shouldn't read this sort of trash. 161 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,835 Oh, I don't. I write it. 162 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,072 Captain? 163 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,186 I've got a 1:30 appointment. 164 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,821 Oh, fine. You two have met? 165 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,988 Oh, we chatted. 166 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,323 - wojo? - yeah? 167 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,192 Sergeant wojciehowicz, This is sergeant scofield. 168 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,827 She's going to be with us On temporary assignment. 169 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,096 Oh, good. 170 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,199 Uh, good to have you with us. 171 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,634 And, uh, it's nice To see a friendly... 172 00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:47,003 I'm leaving now. 173 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:50,239 Uh, fine. Don't forget to, uh... 174 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,308 I'll arrange a Backup downstairs. 175 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,443 Good, uh, anything Else you need? 176 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:55,478 Yeah. 177 00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:58,181 I'd like to brush my teeth. 178 00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,804 Oh. Thanks. 179 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,355 It was nice meeting you all. 180 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,379 Goodbye. 181 00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:13,985 We supposed to be here When she comes out? 182 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:23,339 Hey, look, this book is a Serious piece of literature. 183 00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:27,643 You've got it packaged like A pound of ground round. 184 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:28,977 Yeah. 185 00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:31,481 Well, look, I want Those ghouls in graphics 186 00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:33,449 To make some changes. 187 00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:34,684 Man, what do you mean, 188 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,652 There's some christmas Books ahead of me? 189 00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,978 You can bloody up frosty The snowman some other time. 190 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,294 - scofield check in yet? - nope. 191 00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,895 Maybe she'll drop us a card. 192 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,064 Excuse me. 193 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,532 I'll forward it. 194 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,300 All through the ages, 195 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:55,104 The great musical Innovators have been ridiculed. 196 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,905 Yeah, I got to put You in the cage. 197 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,642 Schubert, stravinsky, Tchaikovsky. 198 00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:02,178 Listen, what you Do is real cute, 199 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,447 But it doesn't Make you a genius. 200 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,249 Cute? 201 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,751 This is art, buddy! 202 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,354 Pbht! 203 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:14,523 That's pretty good. 204 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,714 Thank you. 205 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:25,100 Hi. 206 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:26,435 Hello. 207 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,770 I'm back. 208 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,306 You can come all the way in. 209 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,141 Oh, sure. 210 00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:34,699 Ah, ah, how'd it go? 211 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:37,613 Hi. 212 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,216 I'm back. 213 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,018 Maybe you better sit down. 214 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,452 Could I sit down? 215 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,889 - uh, come on in my office. - okay. 216 00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,424 Is it much farther? 217 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,148 We'll be there very soon. 218 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:56,232 Okay. Just sit Down, take it easy. 219 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,101 Just relax for a little while. 220 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,103 - I'm fine. - just take it easy. 221 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,204 I'm fine. 222 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:02,871 - you sure? - uh-huh. 223 00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:05,040 Okay. 224 00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:06,042 What happened? 225 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:07,632 He filled these two... 226 00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:11,814 And then he checked My wisdom tooth. 227 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,482 That's it? 228 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,384 I may need a root canal. 229 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:18,654 I meant, other than Dental problems. 230 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,056 His hands never left my mouth. 231 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,758 You're certain? 232 00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:27,663 I mean, maybe with the Gas, something happened? 233 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,066 Nothing was moved. 234 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:34,292 And I stayed alert for any Sensation, but it never came. 235 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,642 Well, we gave it a shot. 236 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:43,979 I think that, uh, your lady 237 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:49,685 Was just a little Overstimulated by the gas 238 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,888 And... Imagined that the Doctor's feelings were mutual. 239 00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:55,123 You're probably right. 240 00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:58,094 I mean, you know, nitrous oxide 241 00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:04,267 Does have an... Arousing effect... 242 00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:05,890 On many people. 243 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,995 Well, we gave it a shot. 244 00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,337 - nice picture. - hmm? 245 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,452 Your family? 246 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,655 Maybe you better sit down. 247 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,224 Just... Just take it easy. 248 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,047 Here you go. Okay, just... 249 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,429 You're quite good-looking. 250 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,453 Just... 251 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,832 Uh, yes, dietrich? 252 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,301 You want me to come back later? 253 00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:39,468 What is it? 254 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:40,836 Got a call from Dr. Gesslin's office. 255 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:41,904 For me? 256 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,607 He made a move on a Lady after scofield. 257 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,342 Huh. 258 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,211 He did it to somebody else? 259 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:50,045 Just take it easy, Just take it easy. 260 00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:51,947 But I gave him Every opportunity. 261 00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,148 I'm sure you did. 262 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:55,150 I mean, I try to be An attractive target, 263 00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:57,720 Eat right, exercise every day. 264 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,355 And it shows, it shows. 265 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,989 Uh, you and harris. 266 00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:02,658 What about me? 267 00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,260 You're beautiful. 268 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,763 All right, just sit Down. Take it easy. 269 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:08,953 Just sit down. 270 00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:36,848 Wojo. 271 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:39,928 It's him. 272 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,598 I figured that out for myself. 273 00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,500 It's kind of pretty. 274 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,834 Well, for what it sounds like. 275 00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:49,572 Uh, mr. Crichton, Mr. Crichton, do you mind? 276 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:52,340 Oh, you don't like classical? 277 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:53,709 Well, I can do show tunes. 278 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,077 Mr. Crichton, 279 00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,913 It's not a question of Your choice of material. 280 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,950 Mr. Crichton, it's just That certain sounds 281 00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:04,520 Are subject to Individual tastes. 282 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,224 - so? - so cut it out! 283 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,497 Look, really, you're Making a horrible mistake. 284 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,599 - get over it. - I dropped a gold filling. 285 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:17,933 I was just looking for it. 286 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,335 You know what gold Goes for these days? 287 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,137 - tell him. - I'm captain miller. 288 00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:23,539 Oh, that mrs. Palmquist. 289 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,808 She'll say anything To get attention. 290 00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:30,746 Very sad case... Widow, Lonely, bad gums. 291 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,782 Doctor, this is not the First complaint we've had. 292 00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:35,784 Captain, this is an Occupational hazard. 293 00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,587 Medical men get accused of This sort of thing all the time. 294 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:41,324 I mean, how many complaints Have there been before this, huh? 295 00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:42,591 Five, six? 296 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,259 One. 297 00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:48,263 Oh, that's not so bad. 298 00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,799 Technician walked in on Him. Caught him red-handed. 299 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,156 That was lavoris. 300 00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:55,804 Harris is getting Their statements. 301 00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,841 I'll take the doc's. You Want to have a seat? 302 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,176 Hey, what's she doing here? 303 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,211 I never laid a hand on that one. 304 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,346 No one said you did. 305 00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,715 I swear I didn't touch her. 306 00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:09,217 All right, they heard You the first time. 307 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,253 This is sergeant scofield. 308 00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:12,755 She's a policewoman. 309 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,090 Hmm. 310 00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:18,561 Have a seat, doc. This won't hurt a bit. 311 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,484 After you. 312 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,589 You okay? 313 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,771 I'll just write up my report. 314 00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,227 You can use this desk. 315 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,309 - hi. - ah, how'd it go? 316 00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,378 Oh, fine. 317 00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,346 I got statements From the receptionist, 318 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,749 The nurse, the Technician, and the victim. 319 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,016 That was fast. 320 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,151 Well, yeah, barn, you know How people like to talk. 321 00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:44,853 I mean, they just Ramble on and on, 322 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:49,191 Using entire sentences when One well-chosen word will suffice. 323 00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:51,616 - so? - I won't stand for that. 324 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:59,368 By the by, barn, I've got to Get some new photographs, 325 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,303 You know, for the book cover, 326 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:02,605 So I was wondering 327 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,173 If maybe I could leave Half an hour early today. 328 00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:08,933 Oh, uh... No. How was that? 329 00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:16,052 You know, maybe I wouldn't Be doing this sort of thing 330 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:18,720 If I got a little respect. 331 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,578 I need your full name. 332 00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:26,517 Richard p. Gesslin... Dds. 333 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,932 But oh, no. All I Get are wisecracks. 334 00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:33,201 "Maybe you'd better Gargle, dr. Gesslin." 335 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:35,305 "Take a little off The side, dr. Gesslin." 336 00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,407 Business address? 337 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:42,366 A half hour ago, it Was 1542 sixth avenue. 338 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,548 You got to understand. 339 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:48,050 It's hard for me to meet people, 340 00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:50,386 Make social contacts In the normal way. 341 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:51,753 It's not surprising. 342 00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:54,123 People tend to socially Ostracize dentists 343 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:56,492 Because they associate Them so closely 344 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,759 With pain and discomfort. 345 00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:59,303 - right. - ow. 346 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,228 Not so easy, is it? 347 00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,313 Yeah. 348 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:20,349 Uh, crichton's got no priors, 349 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,084 So I'll just issue 350 00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:23,752 A desk-appearance Ticket and let him go? 351 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:24,776 Fine. 352 00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,090 Barney, he isn't that bad a guy. 353 00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:30,326 No one said he was. 354 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:33,261 Well, I know you don't Care for him personally. 355 00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:35,964 I have nothing against him. 356 00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:40,269 Guess I'm just thinking about The way you snapped at him. 357 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,171 Wojo, it's not the man. 358 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:46,007 It's what he does that I Find very, uh, annoying. 359 00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:50,379 But what he does Is... Is all he's got. 360 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:54,750 I mean, he's retired. He's Got no family or friends. 361 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,574 I wonder why. 362 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,812 He said some nice Things about you. 363 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,963 Seven years of college, 364 00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:10,098 Five years establishing A good practice, 365 00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:12,935 All down the spit sink. 366 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,136 Come on, I got to Put you in the cage. 367 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,639 I deserve it. 368 00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:21,899 I violated a sacred trust, Degraded my profession. 369 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,102 In here, doc. 370 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:29,973 Oh, boy. 371 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,243 Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. 372 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,284 Hi. 373 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:41,752 Good afternoon. 374 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:44,855 What are you in for? 375 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:49,427 For creating a disturbance... 376 00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:53,675 With these. 377 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:54,865 Me too. 378 00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:59,357 Okay, crichton, You're getting out. 379 00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,784 I can't pay bail. 380 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,953 I'm giving you a Desk-appearance ticket. 381 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,054 Huh? 382 00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:07,322 - they're free. - yeah? 383 00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:09,391 But you got to show Up on the day specified. 384 00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:10,859 Yes. 385 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,950 Come over here. I Got to write you up. 386 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:30,212 You know, I'm the only person In the world who does this. 387 00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:35,383 When I die, they'll Bury these with me. 388 00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:36,407 Right. 389 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,180 You've got the Perfect hands for it. 390 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:50,554 Large palm area, Thick, meaty fingers. 391 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,825 You're probably a baritone. 392 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:08,116 You knew I was a cop, right? 393 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,451 No. 394 00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:14,390 Well, then, just for my Own professional curiosity, 395 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:15,791 What was wrong with me? 396 00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:16,847 Nothing. 397 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,362 Just didn't turn you on, huh? 398 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,698 Not your type? 399 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:26,402 Hey, I... Really find You quite appealing. 400 00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,837 I like you very much. 401 00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,795 Well, you certainly have A funny way of showing it. 402 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,579 The thing is, I, uh... 403 00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:41,016 I never touch a woman On the first appointment. 404 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,019 Oh, really? 405 00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:46,187 I... I deal with a very Classy clientele. 406 00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:47,589 I respect that. 407 00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:50,426 And I was going to have You back for a follow-up. 408 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,290 You had your chance, pervert. 409 00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:58,133 Listen, I have been getting The runaround all day. 410 00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:00,436 Now, are you people Really interested 411 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,300 In publishing this book or not? 412 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,597 I am sick of hearing About christmas! 413 00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:11,146 Look, until you People can find the time 414 00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:15,717 To give my book the attention And respect it deserves, 415 00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:18,642 Let's just say we stop The presses indefinitely. 416 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,725 No, no, no, no, I Got a better idea. 417 00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,915 Let's say I call you. 418 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:36,126 I think they've Sweated long enough. 419 00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:46,448 No, no, not so tense. 420 00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:48,584 You're not cracking nuts. 421 00:21:48,608 --> 00:21:50,318 I'm doing the best I can. 422 00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:51,787 Oh. 423 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,222 Just relax. 424 00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:57,848 Try and let a little Air in right... There. 425 00:21:59,185 --> 00:22:01,362 Mm-hmm. 426 00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:02,964 Hmm. 427 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,900 Yes! 428 00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:07,068 Much better. 429 00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:10,406 Uh, you got your ticket Now, okay? You can go. 430 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:11,974 Oh, yes, well, now, 431 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:14,943 Don't forget Everything I've shown you. 432 00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:17,946 And remember to practice Every day, every day, 433 00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:20,148 - every day, every day. - right. 434 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:23,118 And take care of those hands. 435 00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:24,920 Wear gloves when it's cold 436 00:22:24,944 --> 00:22:26,988 And a little baby oil at night, 437 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:31,314 And, uh... No sex. 438 00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,888 Tough choice. 439 00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:46,408 Uh, yeah, that sounds Pretty good to me. 440 00:22:46,432 --> 00:22:49,211 Fine. 441 00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:50,979 Look, I'm certainly glad 442 00:22:51,003 --> 00:22:54,282 We could resolve these Little problems amicably. 443 00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:55,538 Yeah. Bye. 444 00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:58,987 Did you straighten him out? 445 00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:01,923 Um, yeah, we came to a Mutual understanding. 446 00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:04,225 They're going to Publish the book, 447 00:23:04,249 --> 00:23:07,162 And I'm going to stop calling. 448 00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:08,597 Good. 449 00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:11,733 Do you get to keep the pipe? 450 00:23:11,757 --> 00:23:12,923 Hey. 451 00:23:16,996 --> 00:23:18,807 Crichton is gone, huh? 452 00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:20,408 Um, yeah. 453 00:23:20,432 --> 00:23:23,278 I appreciate that. 454 00:23:23,302 --> 00:23:25,280 - captain. - hmm? 455 00:23:27,272 --> 00:23:28,484 I'm going. 456 00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:30,152 Fine, all right. 457 00:23:30,176 --> 00:23:32,354 Here's my report, such as it is. 458 00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:34,656 - okay. - sorry it didn't work out. 459 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,458 Well, listen, we caught the man. 460 00:23:36,482 --> 00:23:38,059 You certainly contributed. 461 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:39,616 Thanks. 462 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:44,900 Well, nice working with you all. 463 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:45,924 Yeah. 464 00:23:51,129 --> 00:23:53,107 Listen... 465 00:23:53,131 --> 00:23:56,411 I want to apologize for the Personal remarks I made earlier. 466 00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:58,247 It's really not necessary. It's perfectly all right. 467 00:23:58,271 --> 00:23:59,981 No, it's not all right. It Was very unprofessional. 468 00:24:00,005 --> 00:24:02,817 Look, you were Under the anesthetic. 469 00:24:02,841 --> 00:24:04,920 Yeah, I was talking gibberish. 470 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:05,976 Fine. 471 00:24:07,312 --> 00:24:09,358 - but I meant what I said. - uh, goodbye. 472 00:24:09,382 --> 00:24:11,727 No, I really do think You're quite good-looking. 473 00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:13,027 Uh, keep in touch. 474 00:24:13,051 --> 00:24:14,062 Don't you? 475 00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:15,764 - mm. - oh, yeah. 476 00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:16,920 See? 477 00:24:23,328 --> 00:24:25,796 Oh, I got it. 32403

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