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1
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,554
It's monday. Why not?
2
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:25,935
Hello.
3
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,938
Hello.
4
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,474
Can you say hello? Hello!
5
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,998
- hello.
- hello.
6
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:37,047
We'll talk later.
7
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:38,648
Who's the jailbird?
8
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,084
- a little obvious.
- it's a little obvious.
9
00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:42,852
- morning, guys.
- hello.
10
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:47,157
Hey, I see you
Met, uh, crackers.
11
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,358
Crackers?
12
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,727
You thought I was obvious.
13
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,629
I take it crackers
Belongs to you.
14
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,130
Yeah.
15
00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:55,998
Yeah, I got him this morning.
16
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:58,235
He's kind of cute, ain't he?
17
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:01,671
I also take it he is not
A permanent addition
18
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,706
To our squad.
19
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,309
No, no, I'm gonna
Take him home tonight.
20
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:07,877
Yeah.
21
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,281
I, uh, saw him in a pet-shop
Window this morning,
22
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:12,749
And, uh...
23
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,785
I don't know, I just
Had to have him.
24
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,254
That's not surprising.
25
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:20,590
People have been fascinated
By exotic birds for centuries.
26
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,693
Chinese noblemen were so
Enamored of these creatures
27
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,895
They let them fly
Inside the palace.
28
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,698
Inspiration for egg-drop soup.
29
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,289
I'm walking.
30
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,004
I hope you and crackers
Will be very happy.
31
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,239
Oh, yeah.
32
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,808
I mean, I figure a bird,
You know, is no problem.
33
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,178
They don't get in your way.
34
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:44,013
They stay in their
Cage, you know?
35
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:46,883
And, well, they
Respect your privacy.
36
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:49,219
And they don't go
Trying to change you.
37
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,088
Don't talk back.
38
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:53,323
Not yet.
39
00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:56,826
Oh! What a beautiful morning!
40
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,829
Little hazy on the meadow.
41
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,898
Forget it.
42
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:04,668
You're in a good
Mood this morning.
43
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:07,838
Purpose is our nexus...
44
00:02:07,862 --> 00:02:11,641
The common thread that
Binds our lives as one.
45
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,943
You know who said that?
46
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,779
I did.
47
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,013
In here.
48
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:20,049
My book about us...
It's gonna be published.
49
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,618
Wojo: hey, all right!
50
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,053
You're kidding!
51
00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:24,487
Thank you, barney.
52
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:25,989
I mean, congratulations.
53
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,124
That's quite a breakthrough.
54
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,258
Yeah.
55
00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:30,960
Barn, if this book hits,
56
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,530
It's gonna mean a
Paperback deal...
57
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:38,501
A magazine serialization,
Movie version.
58
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,371
Of course, I'm gonna
Be working here
59
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:44,274
At least through
The end of the day.
60
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,274
I appreciate that.
61
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:46,876
No, no, I got it.
62
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,212
Barn? We got a jumper.
63
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:50,980
Some guy's trying
To leap off a ledge.
64
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,615
All right, uh, you and dietrich.
65
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:57,954
Wojo, is that your parrot?
66
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,789
Yeah, I just got
Him this morning.
67
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,625
Hey, hey, look, man, um,
68
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:05,495
I really didn't mean
To one-up your bird.
69
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,631
You know, with my book and all.
70
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,434
It's okay.
71
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,659
He didn't want to
Ruffle your feathers.
72
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,696
Maybe I'll do
Better on the ledge.
73
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:34,584
Particularly amusing section?
74
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,719
Yeah, it's about you.
75
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:38,220
Really?
76
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,990
Oh, it's not at
Your expense, barn.
77
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,226
It's just one of those
Clever things you say,
78
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,429
You know, when you want
Us to get back to work.
79
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,830
Good.
80
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,932
Then I don't have to come
Up with something new.
81
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,557
Uh, back to work.
82
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:58,908
What happened
To "Precinct diary"?
83
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,444
Oh, uh, the title?
84
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,047
Well, barn, they figured
It needed something
85
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,548
A little less academic,
86
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:07,817
You know, a little
More provocative?
87
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,152
"Blood on the badge"?
88
00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:12,922
Catchy, huh?
89
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:16,459
Oh, barn, did you, uh...
90
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,817
Want to take a look
At the dedication?
91
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,905
"To captain miller.
92
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:32,709
"Written with all
The... Admiration
93
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:38,715
Befitting a respected superior
And a truly good friend."
94
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,418
That's really nice.
95
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:45,955
Which is why I really
Hate to bring this up.
96
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,091
Release?
97
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,392
Yeah, barn, it's
Just a formality.
98
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:53,029
You know how publishers
Worry about lawsuits,
99
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,031
Libel, defamation
Of character...
100
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,322
Just silly little
Things like that.
101
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,404
I'll be in my office.
102
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:03,294
I'll hold your calls.
103
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,877
Leave me alone! What did
You have to stop me for!?
104
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,379
I wasn't drawing a crowd!
105
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:10,914
It's a fickle city.
106
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:13,249
I didn't ask anybody
To save my life!
107
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:15,918
We don't require
An invitation, mr., uh...
108
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:16,953
Walter elkins.
109
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:17,954
Mr. Elkins.
110
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,255
Yeah, uh, barn?
111
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,823
He was on a 12th-floor ledge,
112
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,626
And he was screaming and
Waving a telephone around.
113
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,227
That's when we yanked him in.
114
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:26,295
A telephone?
115
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:27,997
I couldn't take it anymore.
116
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:31,267
I mean, my job... It
Finally just got to me!
117
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,637
Mr. Elkins works as a
Volunteer on a suicide hotline.
118
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,739
Really?
119
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,374
Until now.
120
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,277
All day, all night,
They never stop calling.
121
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:42,679
"I'm so depressed, walter!"
122
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,813
"Nobody likes me, walter!"
123
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,448
"I'm such a schlump, walter!"
124
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,450
- mr. Elkins...
- walter.
125
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:51,053
Walter... The last
Straw was the lady.
126
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,223
She calls every
Day. The same junk!
127
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:57,494
"Life is pointless.
The world is sick.
128
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,229
People are better off dead."
129
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:04,433
I finally realized...
She's right.
130
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:08,270
Come on, things are
Never as bad as they seem.
131
00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:12,408
Don't you think I've said that?
132
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:16,879
Uh, have a seat
Over there, mr., uh...
133
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,449
Dietrich, you want to, uh...
134
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:20,639
Sit down over there, walt?
135
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,844
Look alive!
136
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,628
Might as well call bellevue.
137
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,229
Yeah.
138
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,897
It's crazy, though, huh?
139
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:35,865
I mean...
140
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,867
Guy wants to help people so bad
141
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,602
He ends up needing help himself.
142
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,270
Hmm.
143
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,172
Unfortunately,
144
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:47,877
A little compassion can
Often lead to a lot of sorrow.
145
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,679
That's pretty good.
146
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,414
Appropriate.
147
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:55,106
A lot better than "Things
Are never as bad as they seem."
148
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,044
I'll call bellevue.
149
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,995
Photographs, fingerprints.
150
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,164
You're wasting your
Time on a dead man.
151
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,032
It's a slow day.
152
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,334
They've already drained
Me of every human feeling.
153
00:08:12,358 --> 00:08:15,038
I'm... I'm a zombie
154
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:18,708
Just trudging around
On instinct alone.
155
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,032
"Night of the living dead."
156
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,480
What?
157
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:24,881
Classic horror film
158
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,916
Where the dead come
Back to haunt the earth,
159
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,519
Eternally condemned
To sustain themselves
160
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:32,110
By the eating of human flesh.
161
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,592
You don't scare me.
162
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,849
I'm still gonna kill myself.
163
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,385
Bon apetit.
164
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:43,700
- say, arthur.
- yes.
165
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,367
- you got a minute?
- sure.
166
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:48,237
I, uh, I assume you're
Familiar with this.
167
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,972
Yeah, it's a standard
Release form.
168
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:51,674
Yeah, everybody's
Got to sign one.
169
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,578
It's, you know,
Just a formality.
170
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:56,045
No, thanks.
171
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,480
Hmm?
172
00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:59,616
I don't want to sign it.
173
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,383
Oh, what's the matter?
174
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:04,620
Oh, you, uh, want to
Read the manuscript first?
175
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,756
No, I'm sure it's fine.
176
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,492
Then why won't you
Sign the release?
177
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:13,029
It's personal. I'd
Rather not discuss it.
178
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,465
Hey, look, man, if
You don't sign it,
179
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,157
You know, I'm gonna have
To cut you out of the book.
180
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,425
Okay.
181
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:26,275
Yeah, well, um, you know,
It would be no great loss,
182
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,978
But, uh, I got some
Publishers waiting.
183
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,069
Oh, that's too bad.
184
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:36,685
Well, I signed it.
185
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:37,709
Thanks.
186
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:43,392
I don't know how
Personal he gets.
187
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,161
I've just been kind of
Skimming through it.
188
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,229
But, uh...
189
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:51,935
I have already come across
A few references to me that...
190
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:57,941
A less liberal-minded person
Might consider unwarranted,
191
00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,976
Even libelous.
192
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,412
You? He generally
Refers to you as the...
193
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:07,049
"The captain's lovely lady."
194
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:09,373
No, I wouldn't sue
Over that, either.
195
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,324
Uh... Liz?
196
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,560
I'll get... I'll
Get back to you.
197
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,495
Yeah, I'll call you back.
198
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,419
Wojo?
199
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,367
He's dead.
200
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,668
In the cage?
201
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:27,993
Where else?
202
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,562
Wojo!
203
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,511
Not him.
204
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,580
Crackers.
205
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,871
Oh, thank god.
206
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,360
One minute he's chirping away,
207
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:55,052
And the next minute
He's flat out on his back.
208
00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:59,702
What does that mean?
There's no warranty?
209
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:02,560
Well, you sold me
A defective bird.
210
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,863
I don't know what went wrong.
211
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:11,914
No, he didn't say
Anything before he died.
212
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,684
No, I didn't abuse him!
213
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,919
I didn't even get him
Out of the squad room, I...
214
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:19,021
The squad room.
215
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,190
Yeah, that's
Right, 12th precinct,
216
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:22,592
Right around the corner.
217
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:25,027
Listen, I want... Hello?
218
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:26,217
Hey!
219
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,099
Pbht!
220
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,267
No refund.
221
00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:34,771
He told me to stuff it.
222
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,161
Taxidermy's one option.
223
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:41,978
Well?
224
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,015
Well, what?
225
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,650
What are you gonna do with him?
226
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:50,085
You can't just
Leave him lying there.
227
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:52,622
What, you want me to dump him?
228
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,123
Well, I mean...
229
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,125
I know I only had
Him a few hours, okay,
230
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,160
But I did get kind
Of attached to him.
231
00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,528
I'm sure you did, but...
232
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,931
I'd feel funny just
Throwing him in the garbage.
233
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:04,600
I'm not suggesting that.
234
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,035
He's too big for the toilet.
235
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,103
Wojo!
236
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:10,239
You don't have to make
The final arrangements
237
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,506
This very minute,
238
00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:13,575
But I would appreciate
It if you would make him
239
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:14,910
A little less conspicuous.
240
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:15,934
Gotcha.
241
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,084
Can I help you?
242
00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:26,622
They told me downstairs that
Mr. Elkins would be up here.
243
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,557
Yeah, he's over there.
244
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,626
May I speak to him?
245
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:31,928
Sure you can.
246
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,952
Oh.
247
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,759
Walter?
248
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,506
Hmm?
249
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,642
I don't understand.
250
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:49,912
How could you have
Done something like this?
251
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:53,182
It goes against
Everything you've ever said,
252
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:58,020
Everything you believe in.
253
00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:00,189
Who the hell are you?
254
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,459
I'm myrna dunbar.
255
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,261
So?
256
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,731
We were talking on the
Telephone earlier today.
257
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,733
Oh, god.
258
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,068
Schizo myrna?
259
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,170
Right.
260
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,106
We were having that
Nice conversation.
261
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,741
Then, suddenly,
I heard a scream.
262
00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:24,881
And then they told me you
Tried to jump off the building.
263
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:27,738
Was it something I said?
264
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,694
You want a cut of the royalties.
265
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,029
Is... Is that it?
266
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,053
Excuse me.
267
00:13:42,688 --> 00:13:45,001
What is it with him?
268
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,303
He say anything to you?
269
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,759
My bird died.
270
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,444
It always happens.
271
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:56,545
Everything's going great,
272
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:58,447
And something's
Got to screw it up.
273
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,516
Problems?
274
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:03,652
Dietrich. He won't
Sign the release.
275
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,321
And I thought wojo
Would be the problem.
276
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,623
That's certainly
Dietrich's prerogative.
277
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:10,292
I, myself, am having
A few difficulties...
278
00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:11,960
If he doesn't sign it, barney,
279
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,563
I'm gonna have to write him out.
280
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,799
That's one solution.
281
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:18,890
Barn...
282
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,738
This is not easy for me to say,
283
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:26,876
But dietrich makes
Two of my best chapters.
284
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,578
Sorry to hear that.
285
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,214
What is it you want of me?
286
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:35,317
Well, I-I thought
You might, you know,
287
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:37,353
Have a few words with him.
288
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:41,023
Oh? And say what?
289
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:44,961
You know, the usual stuff.
290
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:49,732
You mean possibly
Offer him some of my, um...
291
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:53,502
"Unique mixture of compassion,
Logic, and perspective,
292
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:55,237
"Ladled out in liberal
293
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:58,340
And occasionally
Ponderous portions"?
294
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:01,877
Barney, you're up to
That chapter already?
295
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,413
Just caught my eye.
296
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:05,914
Barn, what I meant was...
297
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,717
Why don't you tell
Dietrich what you told me...
298
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,653
Perhaps he'll sign.
299
00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:15,123
I suppose.
300
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:17,014
Then that'll leave only one.
301
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:25,856
What did you do with the bird?
302
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,595
Is that today's paper?
303
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,910
I didn't read it yet.
304
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:44,453
Is someone going to get that?
305
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:45,542
I am.
306
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,195
Nobody answered.
307
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:55,965
Nobody ever knocks.
May I help you?
308
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,500
They told me
Downstairs I could find...
309
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,102
Hey!
310
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,470
Him.
311
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,038
What are you doing here, huh?
312
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,173
Come over to pawn off
Another dead parrot?
313
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:07,409
Please, don't raise your voice.
314
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,744
I only came to settle.
315
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:09,879
Oh, yeah?
316
00:16:09,903 --> 00:16:11,246
Whoa, whoa, what's
Going on here?
317
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,649
This is the crook that
Sold me a defective bird.
318
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,984
Wojo. Let's cut the insults.
319
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:18,421
Let him do what he wants.
320
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,356
Verbal abuse I can take.
321
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:24,493
But a dissatisfied customer
Makes for very bad business.
322
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,962
What's this?
323
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,030
The money.
324
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:31,734
$225... It's all yours.
325
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:35,203
Now I'll just show myself out.
326
00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:36,639
Hey, wait, wait, wait a minute.
327
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,407
It's not enough?
328
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,008
Yeah, sure.
329
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,710
No, whoa, whoa, whoa.
330
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,813
Oh, you'd like a few more
Dollars for the inconvenience.
331
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:45,848
I understand.
332
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:47,116
No!
333
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,384
Oh, you want another bird!
334
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:50,986
Or maybe you'd
Rather have a bunny?
335
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,788
Hold it, hold it,
Hold it, hold it.
336
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:55,891
Mr., uh... Tragash,
Samuel tragash.
337
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,793
Mr. Tragash, I'm captain miller.
338
00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,728
A pleasure.
339
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:03,298
There seems to be some
Misunderstanding here.
340
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,000
What's to be misunderstood?
341
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,736
He's entitled to the
Money. He should have it.
342
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,238
Makes sense.
343
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,875
But didn't you tell
Sergeant wojciehowicz
344
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,176
You didn't give refunds?
345
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,044
Oh, that was before.
346
00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:17,279
Before what?
347
00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:21,538
Before I knew he was a
Preferential customer.
348
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,922
Mr. Tragash, does this
Have anything to do
349
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:28,624
With the fact that
Sergeant wojciehowicz
350
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:29,892
Is a police officer?
351
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:33,996
Heavens, no, that's
Just a happy coincidence.
352
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:37,332
So you just thought it over
353
00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:40,569
And decided it was the
Right thing to do, right?
354
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:41,971
My very thoughts.
355
00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:45,373
Just somehow I'm
Getting the impression
356
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,776
That you think if you don't
Give sergeant wojciehowicz
357
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,912
That money, something's
Gonna happen to you.
358
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:52,448
Oh, that's ridiculous.
359
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,182
Sure is.
360
00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:56,674
Mr. Tragash, have
A seat, will you?
361
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,281
There are people who
Know I've come here.
362
00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:09,932
You're the one person
Who's kept me going
363
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:12,001
These last few months.
364
00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:15,237
And now you try
And kill yourself.
365
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,772
I feel responsible.
366
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,441
Oh, it's nothing to do with you.
367
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:22,344
Not at all?
368
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,447
Don't worry about it.
369
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:26,314
I worry about everything.
370
00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:27,582
I know.
371
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:30,185
I mean, there's so
Much desolation...
372
00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:32,577
I'm really not in
The mood, myrna.
373
00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:40,729
I was just reading this
Article about the boat people.
374
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:41,997
Oh, please!
375
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:45,901
When I think about those
Poor people drifting
376
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:48,504
Like flotsam and jetsom...
377
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:49,838
Nobody wanting them.
378
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:50,973
Don't do this.
379
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,475
I can't help realizing
380
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:55,310
The meaninglessness
Of our existence,
381
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:58,313
The utter emptiness
And desolation of life.
382
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,783
Myrna... The inevitable doom...
383
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,773
Oh, for god's sakes, hang up!
384
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,222
Just relax a
Moment, mr. Tragash.
385
00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:08,691
I'll get you a cup of coffee.
386
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,292
Look, I can see you
Fellows are busy.
387
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,061
I'll just get out of your hair.
388
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:13,195
Take just a moment.
389
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:14,329
I'm only making problems.
390
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:15,463
Would you wait a minute?
391
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,499
I'll show myself out.
392
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:19,001
- freeze!
- oh, god!
393
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:23,872
Mr. Tragash, we just
Can't let you leave like this.
394
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,508
Exactly how do you mean that?
395
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:30,212
I mean under a completely
Mistaken impression.
396
00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:33,382
Oh, really?
397
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:37,686
Look, I know how
You guys operate.
398
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,054
Hmm?
399
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,590
A citation for this,
A citation for that,
400
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:44,426
A little rough stuff, and
The next thing you know,
401
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:46,628
I'm out peddling pencils.
402
00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:48,029
You're crazy!
403
00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:49,231
Okay.
404
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:50,465
Mr. Tragash,
405
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,802
Have you even had any
Experience like that before?
406
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:57,672
I mean, have any of my men,
Or anyone from this precinct,
407
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:01,310
Ever harassed or
Brutalized you that way?
408
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:04,246
Well, no.
409
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:09,051
But you see, I moved to
The city only recently.
410
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,952
From where?
411
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:12,588
Philadelphia.
412
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:16,024
- oh!
- oh!
413
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,527
And the way he yelled
At me on the phone...
414
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,962
But I always do that!
415
00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:23,532
I mean, I wasn't
Yelling at you as a cop.
416
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:26,134
I was yelling at
You as a person.
417
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,970
I see.
418
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:32,073
We just want to be treated
Like human beings around here...
419
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:34,008
Not any better
And not any worse.
420
00:20:34,032 --> 00:20:36,545
- really?
- really.
421
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,247
Then I'll take back the money.
422
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:39,981
- thank you.
- you're welcome.
423
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:41,605
Good day, gentlemen.
424
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:48,891
Something went wrong there.
425
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:52,461
I don't mean to depress people.
426
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:57,132
I guess it's just a gift I have.
427
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:59,067
Sure.
428
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:03,471
You know, whenever
I call the hotline,
429
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:07,509
I always ask for
You, specially...
430
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:10,378
Even if I have to wait.
431
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:13,348
I'm flattered.
432
00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:18,586
And sometimes I call
433
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:22,412
Even if I'm not depressed.
434
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:26,251
Really.
435
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,664
Just to talk to you...
436
00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:35,704
Because I think you have
So many appealing qualities.
437
00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:37,706
Yeah?
438
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:41,043
I mean, I think you have
439
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:44,079
A wonderful sense of the ironic.
440
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:47,215
Like this, for instance.
441
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:50,574
Thanks.
442
00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:55,212
Walter, we're going soon.
443
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,495
They're taking me to bellevue.
444
00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:03,287
Oh, they have a very
Nice brunch there.
445
00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:08,692
Anyway, uh...
446
00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:14,009
I want to apologize for
Yelling at you before.
447
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:18,468
Actually, I really
Appreciate you coming down.
448
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:23,251
I guess I better go now.
449
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:24,408
But...
450
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,358
Here.
451
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:31,393
What is it?
452
00:22:31,417 --> 00:22:32,760
My phone number.
453
00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:36,664
I mean, if you're ever
Feeling really down,
454
00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:38,466
You can call me.
455
00:22:38,490 --> 00:22:42,737
I'm usually there... 24 hours.
456
00:22:42,761 --> 00:22:45,740
I'll remember that.
457
00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:47,876
Goodbye.
458
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,133
So long.
459
00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:53,215
Remember to behave yourself.
460
00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:56,451
Don't do anything I'd do.
461
00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:59,554
That's my sense of the ironic.
462
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,398
Nice lady.
463
00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:11,021
Yeah.
464
00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:14,402
Who knows?
465
00:23:14,426 --> 00:23:17,705
When all this blows over,
Maybe I'll give her a call.
466
00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:20,408
Yeah, it would be a
Good jumping-off point.
467
00:23:20,432 --> 00:23:23,434
Hey, listen, as long as
We're all being ironic.
468
00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:27,215
Taking him over
To bellevue, huh?
469
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:30,952
Yeah, fascinating
Character if you do a sequel.
470
00:23:30,976 --> 00:23:32,154
Uh, dietrich?
471
00:23:32,178 --> 00:23:33,188
Yeah.
472
00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:36,091
I...
473
00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:37,915
I need you.
474
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:41,196
For my book.
475
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:42,664
Oh, really?
476
00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:46,834
You do lend a certain texture
And wit to the narrative,
477
00:23:46,858 --> 00:23:50,205
And, uh... In fact, man...
478
00:23:50,229 --> 00:23:51,940
Your character's
One of the best things
479
00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:53,741
In the whole damn book.
480
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:56,044
That's very nice
Of you to say...
481
00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:57,812
Finally.
482
00:23:57,836 --> 00:23:59,314
Hey, look, man,
483
00:23:59,338 --> 00:24:03,685
Sometimes I get so wrapped
Up in myself and my own goals,
484
00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:05,787
I-I-I tend to just, you know,
485
00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:08,990
Forget about other people's
Needs and expectations.
486
00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:09,992
So where do I sign?
487
00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:11,181
Oh, right here.
488
00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:16,864
Well, I see you gentlemen
Have come to an accord.
489
00:24:16,888 --> 00:24:18,200
Uh-huh.
490
00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:20,202
It's better when
Personal differences
491
00:24:20,226 --> 00:24:22,070
Can be settled directly
492
00:24:22,094 --> 00:24:25,006
Without the need for
Third-party intervention.
493
00:24:25,030 --> 00:24:28,243
Yeah, you get to avoid all
That "Ponderous" advice.
494
00:24:28,267 --> 00:24:30,000
Just quoting.
33160
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