Original subtitles

Anything interesting?

Just reading this Article on salt.

Oh?

The seasoning or the treaty?

- the treaty. - oh.

How do you feel about it?

Are you for it or against it?

Well, it's a pretty Complex issue.

But I think a lot of people

Would like to see the End of the arms race...

Salt won't do that. Even Its proponents agree

That it'll give the United states and russia

The theoretical Ability to accumulate

Almost 20,000 Nuclear warheads...

More than twice The current total.

Well, it could slow it down.

That's true. I think the Bottom line on any treaty

Is whether compliance Can be verified.

Well, that's Certainly an aspect.

Take the issue of telemetry Encryption, for example.

The soviets are saying

That the encoded Stream of binary bits

Are irrelevant To u.S. Verification.

We're demanding access To a portion of the stream.

You are familiar with The term pedantic?

Yes.

You know, klnowledge Is a wonderful thing,

But it really isn't necessary To overwhelm people with it.

Sometimes a little feigned Ignorance can be very handy

In day-to-day Social intercourse.

Gotcha.

Mistake.

Just keep moving, beatty.

Give me a break. I've been sick.

What do you got?

I don't know. I think It might be social.

Knock it off.

Captain, this is joseph beatty.

He tried to sell me These. Uppers, most likely.

How was I supposed To know he was a cop?

I thought you people Had height requirements.

Sit down over there.

That doesn't bother Me anymore, sir.

Nor should it, levitt.

Uh, sir, you, uh, think I Look "Street" enough?

Uh, yes,

I-I can certainly Picture you in the street.

Thank you, sir.

I'll send these to the lab.

Yes, harris?

I may never wear denim again.

What do you have?

Uh, this is, uh, louise myers.

A man with a camera Approached her in the bar

At the greenwich hotel.

He said he was a Professional photographer.

With vogue.

He told her he wanted to Get some pictures of her,

Said he was fascinated by Her "Unique bone structure."

Then he insisted that She go across the street

Into the park with him.

The light was better there.

Anyway, when he found An isolated spot with her,

He grabbed her Purse and jewelry.

He wasn't from vogue.

I would seriously doubt it.

I mean, I'm usually Much more careful.

It's just that he Had a way about him.

I mean, he was... He was quite Attractive and very sensuous.

I mean, different Than you and me.

We'll have you look At some pictures.

Maybe we'll get lucky.

Harris, would you Get some mug books?

Oh, for you and her, sure.

All right, look, you... You Just go sit down, all right?

Thanks.

Oh, I got another one.

What's the problem?

Come here.

He... He's being belligerent.

Hi.

He... He's got no I.D.

I cannot get a name out of him.

I've been talking at Him for over an hour.

I'm captain miller.

Nice to meet you.

Yes, and you're mr., uh...

It's worth a try.

What's the charge?

Uh, assault and Disorderly conduct.

He's just asking to Get himself hurt, barn.

He was scolding a bunch Of pimps over on 8th avenue.

They were debasing the harlots.

He talks like that a lot.

We're gonna find Out who you are.

If you're trying To hide something,

We'll find out if you're wanted.

That's why I'm here.

Just sit down.

Thanks.

Well, it's a challenge.

Is the coffee fresh?

Damned if I know.

Okay, we're going in the cage.

Look, can't you bend a little?

I mean, one little Conviction for pushing.

I could go in for life.

You should have thought of that

Before you started Peddling death.

Come on, I'm talking eternity, You're giving me clichés.

Better late than never.

Hmm?

Are all criminals ugly?

Well, it's not a prerequisite.

Although it helps.

I'm never gonna Find him in here.

Let's just keep a Good thought, huh?

Do you have anything On wayward gentlemen?

In hard-cover or paperback?

Sooner or later, we're Gonna find out who you are.

You really want to know?

I'm not busting my Chops for nothing.

All right.

"All right" what? You gonna tell me?

Sure.

I need your full name.

Jesus christ.

J-e... Now, look it!

You might think that You're real funny,

But I'm getting a Little bit fed up with...

Ah-choo!

God bless you.

You don't mind, do you?

Know who he says he is?

I give up.

Jesus christ.

The famous one?

And I think he really means it.

Well, this should Really break up our day.

A real fruitcake, huh, barn?

A real fruitcake.

He's got a good Look for it, though.

Want some, uh, tea? Coffee?

Do you have wine?

Afraid not.

Thanks anyway.

Yeah, sure.

I'm jesus christ.

Ron harris. Nice to meet you.

Hey, I'm back.

So am I.

See what I mean?

Look, uh...

Just call me jesus.

- have a seat, jesus. - thank you.

I'm sure you can appreciate The difficulty we're having

In accepting this Just on your say-so.

Of course, but I am Christ, and I am back.

For any particular reason?

The parousia.

I'm afraid I'm not Familiar with that term.

You will be.

Uh... Dietrich.

Oh, are you talking to me?

Uh...

Do happen to know What the parousia is?

Yes, I do.

Well?

I don't want to be pedantic.

Dietrich!

"Parousia" is the term Used in the new testament

For the second coming of christ

In which he'll judge Those left on earth

And then end the world.

Is that what you had in mind?

We've already had the apostasy.

The desertion of Faith and moral values,

Worshipping of the antichrist

In the form of materialism And carnal pleasures,

The presence of global Famine and regional wars.

It's said when all those Things come to pass,

Christ will reappear On earth and then bingo...

Judgment day.

Uh, thank you.

I can't hold a grudge.

Well, this is all Very, uh, revealing,

But, uh...

I'm afraid we're still Gonna have to book you.

How?

I mean, if he keeps this up...

Do the best you can.

Next of kin?

It's a bit complicated.

Uh, yeah.

I mean, after the Concert, I figure we,

Uh, you know, we head Back up to my place.

Well, I'll make us a Little dinner, and, uh...

I got a bottle of '71 beaujolais I might be persuaded to open.

After dinner?

Well, I got a couple ideas.

Uh, backgammon.

Yeah, well, uh, you know how To play backgammon, right?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah.

Uh, look, I've got to go now.

Yeah, I'll get back to you. Bye.

How's it going, woj?

Well, I'm sort of Finished with his booking.

Oh, you get a Statement from him?

13 pages.

Well, he has been Gone a long time.

It's sort of, uh...

Wojo's epistle to The manhattanites.

I'm gonna take him down For pictures and prints.

Fine.

Let's go.

Got it.

Barn, a call from dispatch.

There's a man with a camera Just tried to mug a lady

Over in the pierce hotel That could be our man.

Was he good-looking?

Take, uh, levitt.

Like that?

Afraid so.

Be careful. He can Be very persuasive.

Uh-huh.

Uh... Captain? daily News on the phone.

Wants to confirm that We're holding jesus christ.

How did they find out about him?

Oh, uh, I thought it would make

A cute human-interest Story, sir.

Oh, yes, I can see Where "God arrested"

Might pique the Public's curiosity.

No, I'm afraid I... I Have nothing to add.

No, I have not.

But believe me, if I do,

You'll be the first To hear about it.

You're most welcome.

He wanted to know if I Witnessed any miracles.

It's a slow news day.

You got another reporter at 8-2.

The word of god gets around.

Well, I'm... I'm gonna have To put you in the cage now.

Sorry to put you To so much trouble.

Oh, it's okay.

You people have been Much nicer than last time.

Uh... New regulations.

Hey, come on. What are You putting him in here for?

Just shut up.

Some kind of test To see if he's violent?

You behave yourself.

How you doing?

Oh, oh.

Ohh.

Just stuff all over me.

Yeah, it's messy work.

You know, I-I know The guy's a fruitcake,

But I can't help feeling Like I'm betraying him.

Listen, don't let it get to You. You're just doing your job.

My job?

Yeah.

I'm gonna go wash my hands.

There's certainly Precedent for it.

So, what happened To all your friends?

Those guys who used To tag along with you?

The apostles?

Gone fishing, huh?

No, they're dead.

Yeah, right.

Of course, I have been thinking I might need a new hand or two.

Oh, hey, I would love to help You out, but can't you see?

I'm booked up for The next 40, 50 years.

That's too bad.

Unless, of course,

You'd like to work one Of your miracles for me.

You know, like the time when You made all those sandwiches?

How about it?

All right.

Yeah?

Hey.

Hey, did you hear that?

Jesus is gonna fix it for me,

So why don't you just let Me out right now? Come on.

Sit down and shut up.

Infidel, huh?

Hmm?

I, uh, checked, uh, Missing persons and,

Uh, the mental Institutions and hospitals.

So far, zilch.

Well, the man just didn't Magically appear on 8th avenue.

Probably not.

Better call bellevue.

Bellevue?

Yeah.

You know, uh, Barn, um, you know,

When you think about It, uh, the whole...

The whole basis of Christianity is that...

Is that when the world Gets so screwed up,

Christ is gonna reappear And, uh, judge everybody,

And then the world will blow up.

Well, I mean, the way Things are today...

There's no reason That couldn't be him.

Wojo, this is really Not my area of expertise.

Oh, god. You're jewish.

That's not what I meant.

- I just forgot, barn. - it's okay, wojo.

I don't even know Why I brought it up.

Wojo, it's okay!

I mean...

It's not something that Comes up on the job every day.

Right.

Right, I mean, it's not Like you're ever leaving

To go to synagogue or, uh, Big on observing the holy days.

Well, I do... In my way.

Well, but you Never wear the hat.

I have one!

I'm not criticizing, barn.

Hey, I'm not much Of a catholic, either.

I haven't been to Mass in three years.

Yeah, there are Some people that, uh...

People like you and me...

Who are just not geared For institutionalized,

Organized ritual.

We, uh, we put more import on How we conduct our daily lives

And how we deal with Our fellow human beings

Than we do on formal gesture.

Got your speech all ready, huh?

Okay, you want to Step inside here, please?

Of course.

That's him.

No.

Barney!

Got him.

That's him?

That's our sensuous thief?

Feel better, huh?

You're beneath contempt!

I was hoping to see You again, louise.

Hey. Hey.

Captain, this is gilbert letier.

He approached a waitress In the hotel coffee shop

And made the same proposal That he did to miss myers,

And then...

She became suspicious, And he ran out of the shop.

We apprehended him in The hotel elevator, sir.

Thank you.

Miss myers, uh, can you Make a positive identification?

Is this the man That, uh, robbed you?

- a waitress? - miss myers, please.

Yes, that's him.

Have a seat, please.

We'll type up a Statement to that effect,

And you can sign it.

Happily.

Harris, you want to, Uh, take care of mr., uh...

Letier.

It's french. My father Was a legionnaire.

None of that.

Take a seat.

I'll, uh, tag this, sir.

Good.

Sir, a reporter was looking At the blotter, downstairs.

I... I happened to mention it.

Levitt, anything that Happens in this room

Is privileged information.

Yes, sir. I apologize.

I guess I was just, uh...

Thinking about the People's right to know.

Well, that's certainly A, uh... Consideration,

But in the future, should Another "Cute" story pop up,

I'd appreciate it if you Were a bit more circumspect.

Understood?

Sit on it, sir.

I beg your pardon?

The story... I'll sit on it, sir.

You do that.

Place of birth?

Newark.

The french section.

Oh, of course.

Date of birth?

Hey!

Oh, I... I'm sorry. I... I was distracted.

June 12, 1922.

Occupation?

Photographer.

Please.

Well, I was.

So what happened?

My pony died.

Yes.

Bellevue says They're ready for him.

Okay, why don't you deliver him?

Take him over.

Sure.

I finished reading The statement.

Uh-huh?

May I have a pen?

My pleasure.

Louise, I sincerely hope My inexcusable behavior

Doesn't keep you from pursuing a Career in professional modeling.

Just stop it, please!

No, really... I'm nobody's fool!

I live alone, too.

You want to sign Right there, please?

Something the matter?

It's just that gilbert Really seems to be sorry.

Come on. Don't do that.

I know, but he...

I had to type all that, louise.

Is there a problem here?

She's changing her mind.

Miss myers, is this the Man that mugged you?

Yes.

You're gonna sign that Statement to that effect?

I... I don't know What I should do.

I... I'm biased, louise.

Miss myers...

If you don't sign That statement,

Not only will my men have Wasted a great deal of time,

But mr. Letier will be free To go back out on the street

And possibly do the same Thing to some other woman.

And if you don't Sign that statement,

You may never see him again.

Thank you, louise.

Goodbye.

See you in court.

Looking forward to it.

Yes, but I don't understand.

Yes.

Yes.

No, you're the experts.

Sir?

That was the lab.

They finished analyzing The drugs from beatty.

And?

It was baking soda.

My god, you're kidding!

- any warrants out on him? - no, sir.

Turn him loose.

But it was a good bust.

It happens, levitt.

Beatty.

Come on. Let's go.

Where are we going?

To the hospital.

I'm not sick.

I know.

We're going anyway.

Here we go, barn.

I see.

I guess I'll be seeing Some psychiatrist.

Uh, yes, more than likely.

Do you think I'm crazy?

Well, I would hesitate To use that word,

But, uh...

I can envision a situation Where someone seeing

All the suffering and Injustice in this world

Might want to end it so badly That he could convince himself

That he is actually someone Capable of doing just that.

Or not.

Say, barn, uh, since It's almost 6:00,

How about if I check out And drop him on the way home?

Okay, fine. Goodbye.

Look forward to Seeing you again, captain.

I hope under more Pleasant circumstances.

We'll see.

How about this, captain?

Yeah, we're through.

All right. Sign this, And get out of here!

You betcha.

You were very lucky This time, beatty.

Obviously, your supplier Was ripping you off,

But I wouldn't count On that luck all the time.

Where did you say You were sending him?

Bellevue.

Thanks. Bless you.

One down, 11 to go.

I take it that's, uh,

A humorous reference To the 12 apostles?

Something like that.

And I'm sure you're prepared

With many more Biblical allusions?

Yeah.

Unfortunately, it's Almost check-out time,

So I'm afraid we're just Gonna have to forego them.

I guess so. I'll see You tomorrow, then.

Okay.

You doing anything for supper?

Gotcha.