All language subtitles for All.o CC

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

MAN: (ON TV) Meanwhile,
work goes on for the Brits

who relocated to the Costa.

Running a bar in the sun
is the classic British dream.

It can easily
turn into a nightmare,

but Gary and Cherry
from Macclesfield

have made it work.

The Bamboo Bar is a success.

(PEOPLE SHOUT
INDISTINCTLY ON TV)

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(EXHALES SOFTLY)

(YAWNS)

(FRIDGE WHIRRING)

(FIRE ALARM BEEPING)

(BEEPING CONTINUES)

(ALARM CONTINUES BEEPING)

(CAR HORN BLARES)

(THE POWER OF LOVE
PLAYING ON TV)

(SINGING) Ay, ay, ay, ay

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Feels like fire

I'm so in love with you

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

(SINGING STOPS)

(DOOR OPENS)

Hello.

Hello.

I saw you looking at me
from the street.

I've seen you a bunch of times

coming and going
with your head down.

One day, it'll be
for real, that alarm.

- (CHUCKLES)
- ADAM: Hmm.

We're basically
the only ones here.

Can you fucking believe that?

I mean they haven't got
security guards yet.

I'm Harry.

Adam.

How do you cope?

With, with what?

Listen.

(LOW RUMBLING)

(CHUCKLES)

It's so quiet.

I mean, London's out there

but we can't hear
a fucking thing.

(SIGHS)

(CLICKS TONGUE)
I play music, right,

but it's worse when it ends.

Yeah, I even got
one of those, um,

white noise machines, right?

But it's like there's someone

in the corner of the room
whispering about me.

I mean, we can't even open,
the windows, but I guess

they don't really want us
to jump.

It's bad for business.
You know,

bodies broken on the concrete.

I mean, who's gonna move in
then? (CHUCKLES)

Drink?

It's Japanese.

It's meant to be
the best in the world,

but I, I couldn't tell you
why, so...

- No, thanks.
- Okay, um...

Okay. How about
I come in anyway?

If not for a drink,

then for whatever else
you might want.

Um...

I don't think
that's a good idea.

(CHUCKLES) Do I scare you?

No.

We don't have to do anything
if I'm not your type.

(SOFTLY)
There's vampires at my door.

Huh.

(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC
PLAYING ON RADIO)

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

- (CLATTERING)
- (UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

- (MUSIC ON RADIO FADES OUT)
- (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

(LIGHTER CLATTERS)

(SIGHS)

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
ON PA)

(TRAIN RUMBLES PAST)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHILDREN
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

(LEAVES RUSTLING)

(INSECTS CHITTERING)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(BOTTLES CLINK)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SCREECHING RECEDES)

Hi.

Hi.

I bought something strong
for a night like this.

No thanks.

Shall we go?

- (LIGHTER CLICKS)
- Go where?

Home.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

She's gonna be
over the moon to see ya.

Guess who I found
loitering in the park.

WOMAN: Is it him?

Oh, yeah, it's definitely him.

Look in his eyes.

Yes, it is you.

Hi.

Hi.

Don't just stand there.
Get yourself inside.

DAD: So,
where are you living now?

Not around here, I'm sure.

ADAM: Uh...
I'm, I'm in London.

MUM: Fancy.
DAD: Whereabouts?

MUM: Do you live by yourself?

DAD: Do you own
your own place?

Uh, yeah, it's just a,
it's just a flat.

What did I tell ya?
What did I tell ya?

I told you he'd be doing well
for himself, didn't I?

Can't be cheap living up there
in the smoke.

And what is it that you do?

- I'm a writer.
- And what did I tell you?

No, no, no.

I'm not particularly rich
or anything. Not really.

Well, I always knew
you'd be creative.

And what kind of writer
are you?

You know how I love,
um, Stephen King.

Carrie, Cujo,
Different Seasons.

No, no, no.
I'm not a proper writer.

I, I write scripts.

Uh, for film, TV.
When I have to.

(CHUCKLES) A writer.

God, this is
so bloody exciting.

If I knew the neighbors,

I'd run over
and I'd tell them right now.

I've always said that writers
know less about the real world

- than almost anyone else.
- MUM: Mmm.

What the hell would you know?

- (ADAM CHUCKLES)
- You can barely write

- joined up.
- That's true. But...

(MUM EXHALES)

A writer.

Our son.

DAD: We're very bloody pleased

to see you
doing so well, then.

Yeah.

Enough of that poofy shit.

- Our boy's back home.
- MUM: Hmm.

What are you puttin' on?

DAD: Oh, you'll see.

(THE POWER OF LOVE
BY JENNIFER RUSH PLAYING)

(DAD GROANS, EXHALES)

MUM: Oh, do you remember

your little red car
that you had?

You loved it and you wanted

to take it out
onto the main road,

and drive it
with all the big cars.

ADAM: Yeah. That's my
first memory, actually.

DAD: It was a Ford Granada
that hit him, wasn't it?

- No, it, it was...
- Yeah. It was.

It was racing green.
Do you remember that?

MUM: Mmm.
DAD: It, it, flung you

like a rag doll.

You went
so high up in the air.

- I'll never forget it.
- Oh, but you were fine, though.

You were fine.
You had a couple of bruises.

I think they thought
I was exaggerating

when I took you in.

What about
that one Bonfire Night

when you lost it?

You remember
that Bonfire Night?

How old were you? Six?

MUM: No, he was not.
He was older than that.

DAD: Well,
when the fireworks went off,

poor boy, started screaming
and howling.

I had to carry him
all the way home.

- ADAM: You did?
- Yeah.

You fell asleep on my shoulder.

I don't remember that.

DAD: You were, you were
really beside yourself.

You were really
having a hard time,

and I was trying,

we were just trying to get you
to enjoy the fireworks.

And you didn't...

MUM: You've always been
a sensitive boy, haven't you?

ADAM: Maybe.

Are you still afraid
of fireworks now?

ADAM: (CHUCKLES) No!

MUM: Do you know
who you sound like?

You sound just like my mother.

He does.

- Doesn't he? You noticed that?
- DAD: Yeah, no, he does.

MUM: You did say
something earlier.

DAD: Yeah. It's when,
it's when you said,

it's when you said,
"I'm not a proper writer."

MUM: Say it again.
DAD: Go on.

MUM: Say it again.
ADAM: Don't make me say it.

MUM: Say it.
DAD: Come on. Just say it.

MUM: Say, "a proper writer,"
again.

ADAM: Like Nan or like me?

DAD: No. Say it like you.
MUM: "Like Nan or like me."

- DAD: Say it like you.
- (MUM LAUGHS)

It's so bloody lovely
to see you again.

ADAM: Yeah.

Weren't sure if we ever would.

Here you are.

Here I am.

Come back soon, hmm?

One of us will be in.

Hmm?

Please.

Yeah, I will.

Good.

(MUM SHIVERS)

- Let's go in, eh?
- Night.

- Good night, sweetheart.
- Good night, son.

Night.

(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

- Hello.
- Hi.

I'm really sorry
about the other night.

Oh, that's all right.

Don't worry about it.

- (ELEVATOR THUDS)
- See ya.

See ya.

I actually do like whiskey
if you want, um,

wanna have a drink or...

(ELEVATOR DOORS CLOSE)

(EXHALES)

(CLOCK TICKING)

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

(BUILD BY THE HOUSEMARTINS PLAYING
ON RECORD PLAYER)

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

MAN: (SINGING) Clambering men
in big bad boots

Dug up my den, dug up my roots

Treated us
like plasticine town

(PEN CLICKING)

They built us up
and knocked us down

From Meccano to Legoland

Here they come
with a brick in their hand

Men with heads
filled up with sand

Let's build...

Let's build a house...

ADAM: Hi.

(MUSIC STOPS)

HARRY: Hello.

- Hi.
- (ELEVATOR DINGS)

(CHUCKLES) Hi.

- Do you wanna come in?
- HARRY: Sure.

ADAM: Do you want a drink?

Yeah, what have you got?

Uh... I got vodka
and some beer.

I got some weed
if you prefer that.

Yeah, weed's better.

I'm off alcohol...

Do you like living here?

ADAM: I think
I'll like it more

when people move in.

If people move in.

You got friends nearby?

No, not really.

Do you?

No, not really.

Most of my friends
have moved out of London.

Wanna have gardens
for their kids,

and they want to be near
the grandparents

so they can look after
the kids.

HARRY: I'm guessing
you didn't want to move too?

Uh, no.

What am I gonna do in Dorking?

It's not for people like me.

I'm just checking.
You are queer, right?

- (BOTH CHUCKLING)
- Yeah. Yeah.

- HARRY: That's good.
- (CHUCKLES)

Or gay.

- Right.
- Queer, I'm not...

I can't get used
to calling myself queer.

- It was always such an insult.
- Hmm.

It's probably why
we hate "gay" so much now.

I mean, it was always
like, um,

(CHUCKLES) uh
"Your haircut's gay,"

or "This sofa's gay,"

"Your trainers are gay,"

"Your schoolbag's gay."
(SNORTS)

Yeah.

Queer does feel polite,
somehow, though, you know.

It's like, um...

I don't know, it's like

all the dick sucking's
been taken out.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Yeah. I'm assuming
you're not with anyone.

I never see you with anyone.

- No.
- No.

You often single?

- Am I often single?
- Mmm-hmm.

Uh...

I suppose so. Yeah.

- Are you?
- Yeah.

Yeah, but not
for want of trying.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

How about I kiss ya?

Yeah, all right.

(BOTH MOANING)

ADAM: Ooh! (COUGHS)

- (CLEARS THROAT) Sorry.
- No.

- You all right?
- No. Yeah, yeah.

- Just haven't done...
- (LAUGHS)

I haven't done this
in a while.

I have to remember to,
remember to breathe.

- Okay.
- Yeah, yeah. It's okay.

Okay.

- It's okay.
- You all right?

ADAM: Uh-huh.

Yeah.

(HARRY GRUNTS)

(MUSIC BUILDS)

(HARRY CHUCKLES)

(ADAM CHUCKLES)

(HARRY CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

HARRY: Is this you?

Afraid it is.

You were cute.

I hate my photos.

I was a fat kid.

Right, but,

when you're a fat kid,
no one asks

why you don't have
a girlfriend.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

We'd have been friends
for sure, though.

Bunked off football
to spy on the boys.

Is this your dad?

Yeah.

He's handsome.

Yeah.

I'm... I'm trying to write
about them at the moment.

Is that what you do?

ADAM: Yeah.

HARRY: How's it going?

ADAM: Uh, strangely.

I don't see my dad much.

Do you, do you see yours, no?

No, they died.

Just before I was twelve.

HARRY: Both of them?

Yeah. Yeah, car crash.

Not the most original
of deaths.

(CHUCKLES)

I'm really sorry.

No, thanks,
it was a long time ago.

Yeah, I don't think
that matters.

Well.

I'd like to see you again.

Yeah, okay.

I could stay
the night if you...

How about, actually,
better idea...

Not tonight. Yeah?

No, no. I would like to s...

- No, you...
- I would like...

- you don't need to explain.
- to see you again. I'm just...

Okay?

- (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
- ADAM: Okay.

Thanks.

(TRAIN COMPARTMENT CLATTERING)

(RAIN PATTERING)

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Sweetheart, you came back.

Of course I came back.

Jesus, you're sodden.

Come on, take it all off.

No, I'm, I'm not taking
my clothes off.

Don't be silly, it's only me.
Come on, arms up.

I'll put them
in the dryer.

It's just me today.
Is that all right?

- Yeah, of course it is.
- Good.

There's so much
I want to know.

I want to hear everything.

Right, go on.
Upstairs, get changed.

My goodness.
This is so exciting.

(CHUCKLES)

(SNICKERS)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

MUM: Suppose nothing's gonna
fit you anymore, is it?

- Nope.
- (MUM CHUCKLES)

Yeah. Well, I brought you some
of your dad's things instead.

- Okay.
- (CLICKS TONGUE) Oh, Look.

Come on,
take these off as well

and I'll put them in
to dry with the rest.

- Uh...
- (MUM SIGHS)

Oh, will you
take them off, Adam?

Honestly.

(CHUCKLES)

God, look at you.

What?

You were just a boy.

And now you're not.

No.

You look totally different,
but it's still you.

Well, I thought
you'd be hairier.

- Like your dad.
- (CHUCKLES)

Okay, sorry.

(MUM CHUCKLES)

I like a hairy chest, myself.

ADAM: (CHUCKLES) Okay.

Christ, you know
who you remind me of?

Uh, who?

You look just like my dad.

Really?

MUM: Hmm.

How I remember him anyway,
when I was a little girl.

God, isn't that mad?

It's like seeing you both at
exactly the same time.

(TIMER DINGS)

(GASPS) Oh.

I've made your favorite.

Well, I hope
it's still your favorite.

I'll just go
and pop the kettle on,

and then
you can tell me everything.

(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

Delicious.

MUM: Good.

Now, your dad
told me not to ask,

and I don't see
a wedding ring,

so I'm presuming
you're not married,

but have you got a girlfriend?

Hmm?

I'm picturing her
with brown hair,

not too skinny.

Smart, obviously.

Well?

Well, what?

MUM: Do you?

I don't have a girlfriend. No.

That's a shame.

I don't have a girlfriend
because I'm not into girls,

(CLEARS THROAT) into women.

What'd you mean?

I mean...

I'm gay. (CHUCKLES)

As in homosexual?

As in that, yeah.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Since when?

Uh, since a long time.

How long?

Forever.

You don't look gay.

Well, I'm not sure
what that means.

It means what it means.
You know what it means.

(ADAM CHUCKLES)

Well, bet you're glad

you don't know
the neighbors now.

Hmm. I must admit
I'm a bit surprised.

Not really sure
what I feel about it.

What, you didn't, didn't think
it would be a possibility?

No, of course not.

What parent wants to think
that about their child?

No parent that I know.

Well, I'm very okay
with it, so.

But aren't people nasty
to you?

Um, no, no.

No, things are different now.

What, so they aren't nasty?

Not out loud, anyway.

Well, does everybody know?

I mean, are you open
about it? I mean...

I don't know, down
the High Street at WHSmith's?

Well, it depends on the,
on the street.

Yeah. Everybody knows,
everyone's fine.

Well, don't you want
to get married and have kids?

I can have kids.

Men can marry. Women, too.

What, to each other?

- Yeah.
- Why?

What do you mean "why"?

Well, isn't that like having
your cake and eating it?

So, do you want to get married
and have kids?

I don't know.
It wasn't a possibility

for such a long time.

So, I didn't think
it was worth the effort

of wanting to get married
and have kids.

(CHUCKLES)

MUM: Huh.

Oh. (MUMBLES)

(WATER RUNNING)

- You okay?
- Hmm, I'm fine.

Sure?

(EXHALES) I suppose I never
did know what was going on

in that odd little head
of yours.

You were always running away.
Do you remember?

Yeah.

MUM: There was that time

that you got as far
as the train station,

but then you'd lost your money

and so you couldn't buy
a ticket.

Do you remember that?

ADAM: Yes, it was
Granny's five-pound note.

Yeah, that was it.

Where were you hoping to go?

Don't know.

London, I guess.

MUM: London?

God.

Oh, there was that time
that you got as far as

the bottom of the garden,
but then you cut your thumb

on an old milk bottle
and you came running back up

all sheepish with blood
all over your shirt,

and you were banging
and banging

- on that window to be let in.
- Yeah.

There it is.

Just.

(ADAM SNIFFLES) Hmm.

They say it's a very lonely
kind of life.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

They don't actually
say that anymore.

MUM: So, you're not lonely?

If I am, it's not because
I'm gay.

Not really.

Not really.

Oh, God. And what about
this awful, ghastly disease?

I've seen the adverts on the,
on the news, and the,

and with the gravestone.

Should I be worried
about that?

No. Jesus.

Everything's different now.

Everything's different.

Well, I guess
I wouldn't know about that.

Your clothes will be dry now.

You should take these
flapjacks with you,

if you want.
I won't be eating them.

(TRAIN WHOOSHING)

(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

(ADAM GRUNTS)

(SHOES THUDDING ON FLOOR)

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

What's wrong?

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

I'm okay.

I just got a bit of a chill.

Hey, you're hot.

Yeah.

I was just, I was just...

I just got caught in the rain.

Okay.

Well, why don't I run you
a hot bath?

My nan says
there's literally nothing

a hot bath couldn't solve.

I don't really like baths.

Fuck off.
Who doesn't like baths?

(WATER RUNNING)

You don't need to be shy
around me.

Yes, that's easier said
than done.

(HARRY CHUCKLES)

Would you like me
to close my eyes?

- Yes, please.
- Okay. (CHUCKLES)

Better?

- Yeah.
- HARRY: Hmm.

HARRY: Been thinking
about you all week, today.

ADAM: Hmm.

HARRY: Was thinking about

watching crappy TV with you
on a Friday night.

HARRY: Eating take-away
on your sofa.

Watching all the episodes
of Top of the Pops

from before I was born.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

HARRY: Yeah. I thought
about something else, too.

Thought about fucking you.

- Yeah?
- HARRY: Yeah.

Or you fuck me.
I don't really care which.

Are you into that?

Yeah.

It's okay if you're not.

We all don't need
to be into fucking.

Well, I wasn't
for the longest time,

for obvious reasons.

HARRY: Obvious reasons?

I thought that
if I fucked anybody, I'd die.

It's probably pretty difficult
for you to imagine, isn't it?

HARRY: A little.

(HARRY MOANING)

(MOANING)

ADAM: Yeah. Come on.

(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

You said the other day
you don't see your dad much.

Yeah.

What about your mum?

Yeah, same.

How come?

They know you're queer?

Yeah, course.

- ADAM: Are they okay with it?
- Yeah.

They're okay.

I mean,
they're really old school.

Probably less okay
than everyone's meant to be.

Yeah. But they got used to it,
sort of, it's just,

they don't say too much.

You could say that I have

drifted to the edge.

Or right up to the edge, almost.

Over the edge.

What's that mean?

I'm edge of the family.

My sister and her kids,

and my older brother
who just got married,

they've all, they got
this spot in the center.

But it's okay.

ADAM: Why is it okay?

Because,

I don't go home much.

Does that make you sad?

Um. No, I think
it's just inevitable, really.

Why?

(CHUCKLING)

Um... (INHALES)

I've always felt like
a stranger in my own family.

And then,

coming out just puts a name

to that difference
that's always been there.

So, in the end,

it's not really
anyone's fault.

Hmm. What's wrong?

It's funny.

Things are better now.
Course they are,

but doesn't take much to make
you feel the way you felt,

back there again,
skin all raw.

Am I still hot?

HARRY: Just a little.

You wanna stay the night?

(HARRY CHUCKLES)

(TREES RUSTLING)

(INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION)

(DOORBELL RINGING)

DAD: Sure she won't be long.

It's okay.

Just wanted to talk to her.

Yeah, I know you do.

This was
your granddad's favorite.

I never really liked it much
at the time,

but it's grown on me.

If you wanna see your mum
really lose her shit,

go ahead and break
that bloody thing.

(I DON'T WANT TO SET
THE WORLD ON FIRE PLAYING)

Come on then, lad.
Sit yourself down.

MAN: (SINGING) I don't want

To set the world on fire

I just want to start...

Well, she told you then?

Was scared
you wouldn't come back.

But you know
what your mum's like.

You know, don't be, don't be
too disappointed in her.

No, I'm not.

Yeah, she just needs

to rearrange
some things in her head,

and all the stories
that she's built up.

Yeah. She'll soon realize
it's not actually about her.

What about you?

What about me?

What do you think?

Well, I mean,
it was hardly a shock.

I always knew
you were a bit tutti-frutti.

Couldn't throw a ball
for shit,

no matter how many times
I tried to teach you.

- Jesus.
- Couldn't for shit.

Couldn't do it.

You make me sound
like a horrible cliché.

Well, can you throw a ball?

- Not at all.
- Well, there you go.

(ADAM CHUCKLES)

(DAD CHUCKLES)

To set the world on fire...

Would you have liked me
to have known?

I don't know.

I would hear you crying
in your room after school.

Did the boys bully you, then?

Not just the boys.

What would they do?

Oh, call me a girl,

ignore me,
refuse to play with me,

stick my head down the toilet,

flick drawing pins in my face.

Christ's sake.

Yeah. Well, you know,

kids are little cunts,
aren't they?

(CLEARS THROAT)

And that one desire is you

And I know...

So, why didn't you
come into my room

if you heard me crying?

Why didn't you tell me
what was happening at school?

You know, you answer me first.

Be honest.

I just didn't want to think
of you as the kind of boy

that the other lads
would pick on.

And I knew that
if I was at your school,

I'd probably
have picked on you too.

Yeah, I think I always
probably thought that, anyway.

Probably why I didn't tell you

what was happening to me
at school.

Set the world on...

Well...

Fire

(DAD EXHALES)

I just want to start

A flame...

- (MUSIC STOPS)
- You know, when she told me,

it did make me think about all
the jokes that we make,

and, you know,
we did impressions

of your English teacher,

when he went around
with his limp wrist.

(CHUCKLES)

You told me
not to cross my legs,

like a woman over,
and over, and over again.

Did I?

ADAM: Yeah, I still...

Still think about it
every time I cross my legs.

I have good memories, too.

DAD: Yeah, I hope so. Fuck.

I hope so.
I hope you did. (CHUCKLES)

Remember you used
to love decorating the tree.

(DAD CHUCKLES)

That's...

ADAM: You were crazy
for it, every year.

And you'd always let me, um,

put the fairy
on top of the tree.

The fairy. I did.

(CLOCK TICKING)

(DAD SOBS)

I'm sorry I never came
in your room

when you were crying.

No, really, it's okay.

DAD: No, it's not okay,
though, really, is it?

- It's not.
- Dad. Dad, I get it.

It was, it was so long...

(SOBBING)

(VOICE BREAKS) It was
so long ago. Stop!

(SOBS)

Can I hug you now?

Yeah, please.

(SNIFFLES)

(SNIFFLING)

DAD: You're all right, son.

You're all right.

(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

(HARRY CHUCKLES)

ADAM: After this,

I wanna go out.

You,

- and me...
- (HARRY MOANING)

- ADAM: ...together...
- (HARRY CHUCKLING)

ADAM: ...into the world.

(I WANT A DOG BY PET SHOP BOYS
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

MAN: (SINGING) My dog
will bark at any passers-by

Oh, you can get lonely

I want a dog...

- What do you want to drink?
- Uh... A pint.

Thank you.

Sorry.

Whoops, sorry.

Sorry.

Ah fuck.
I've missed this feeling.

I can't hear ya.

Do you dance?

If I'm wasted enough.

Then let's get wasted enough.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

C'mon.

HARRY: Yeah.

ADAM: Where'd you get this?

HARRY: Found it in my wallet.

Fuck knows
how long it's been there.

(SNIFFS)

(ADAM SNIFFS)

I think that's ketamine.

- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.

Have you done it before?

No.

- Will you look after me?
- I'll do my best.

- Okay. That'll have to do.
- Okay.

(DEATH OF A PARTY BY BLUR
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)

MAN: (SINGING)
The death of the party

Came as no surprise

Why did we bother

Should have stayed away

Another night

And I thought well well

Go to another party

And hang myself

Gently on the shelf

(INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION)

Another night

And I thought well well

Go to another party

And hang myself

Gently on the shelf

Another party

And I thought well well

Go to another party

And hang myself

- (MUSIC GOES OFF TUNE)
- (TEMPO DROPS)

(SCREAMING)

(MUSIC FADES OUT)

(MAN ON TV
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

MAN: (ON TV)
...for the next 30 minutes,

some surely good tunes
coming your way.

Like down here, we have

at number four,
The Pet Shop Boys

and You Were
Always on My Mind.

(ALWAYS ON MY MIND BY PET SHOP
BOYS PLAYING ON TV)

(FIRE CRACKLING)

- (DAD GRUNTS)
- MUM: Adam.

What's wrong?

Oh, you're really hot.

No, he's really hot.

What?

Now, here you go.

Come on.

Squeeze in,
squeeze in, squeeze in.

MAN: (SINGING) Little things
I should have said and done

I never took the time

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

(SINGING)
Maybe I didn't hold you

All those lonely, lonely times

And I guess I never told you

I'm so happy that you're mine

If I made you feel second best

I'm so sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind

BOTH: (SINGING) Tell me

Tell me that your sweet love
hasn't died

Give me

One more chance
to keep you satisfied

Satisfied

(DAD VOCALIZING)

Okay, get together.

Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready?
I'm gonna press it.

Okay, it's going.

All right, we have to be quick
'cause it goes off in a sec.

It's about 10 seconds.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

- Here we go!
- Merry Christmas. (CHUCKLES)

- Merry Christmas!
- Go...

MAN: (SINGING) You were
always on my mind

Tell me

(MUSIC SLOWS DOWN,
GOES OFF TUNE)

Is this real?

MUM: Does it feel real?

Yeah.

There you go, then.

ADAM: For how long, though?

I can't answer that.

I suppose we don't get
to decide when it's over.

ADAM: You're not
going out now, are you?

MUM: (ECHOES)
Where would we go?

The Walsh's.

MUM: The Walsh's?

The Walsh's.

ADAM: No, no. Wait.

Promise me you're not
gonna go out now.

MUM: I promise.

We're just gonna be asleep
next door.

Promise. (ECHOES)

All right?

Get some sleep.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(SIGHS)

ADAM: No.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

MUM: What is it, sweetheart?

I can't sleep.

Well, do you wanna get in?

- Can I?
- 'Course, you can.

(DAD GRUNTS)

Still smells the same in here.

You'd creep in here
night after night,

saying you couldn't sleep.

You're always scared
of something.

Murderers breaking in,
or rabies,

or nuclear war.

Do people still get rabies?

- No.
- Oh!

I was desperate
for you to grow up

just so I could get
a good night's sleep.

(CLOCK TICKING)

Sorry.

What are you sorry for?

I'm the sorry one.

I should've relished you
driving me bananas.

Where did you go?

You know, afterwards.

I lived with Granny.

She took me to Dublin.

Yeah, I thought so.

Why didn't you live
with his lot?

Why didn't you live
with Granny May?

They said
she was too heartbroken.

About what?

Well, she'd lost her son.

Oh, I see.
But my mother was fine

about losing
her only daughter?

No, no.

She was not fine.

I just can't believe that she

got to look after you
and I didn't.

Are any of them
still around now?

No.

Guess they wouldn't be,
would they?

And how did you get on
over there with Mum?

Did you manage to fit in
better at school?

I made sure I did.

I hate that we weren't around

when you needed us most, sweetheart.

And I hate even more

that I wasn't there
before that, not really.

No, that's not true.

Come on. Well, I was hardly
Mother of the Year, was I?

But I like to think that

I would've got better at it
in time.

You know, given time.

You know,
when I was a teenager,

or even later,
into my twenties,

I used to plot it all out.

What'd you mean?

What we might've done together

in intricate detail.
Trips to the Whitgift Centre

birthdays,

trips to London,

The Planetarium,
the London Dungeon.

Oh, I always wanted
to go there.

(CHUCKLES)

- I know.
- (CHUCKLES)

There were holidays

that we might've gone on
together.

Did we make it to Disneyland?

We did.

When I was 14.

- It rained nonstop.
- Oh!

And they shut down
Space Mountain.

And we fought every day.

Why did we have to fight?

Because that's what everyone
did with their parents.

They fought and bickered

and pretended that they

were ruining
each other's lives.

Did we make up?

No, we didn't need to make up.

We were together,

so,

so it didn't matter.

You okay?

- (SOBS) No.
- DAD: You're okay, son.

You're okay.

What are you doing here?

You're not supposed
to be here.

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

(GRAVEL CRUNCHING)

(CAR DOOR OPENS)

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

(PHONE RINGING)

(GASPS)

(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
ON PA)

(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)

(COUGHING)

(BRAKES SQUEALING)

(SCREAMING)

ADAM: Mum? Mum?

- (YELLS)
- (HARRY SHUSHING)

(ADAM BREATHING HEAVILY)

You're okay.

You're okay.

(ADAM SOBBING)

- What day... What day is it?
- Sunday.

Why is it...

How come... How...
Why is it still Sunday?

HARRY: You kept screaming out
for your parents

over and over again
in the club.

And then,

I didn't know what to do
so I just,

took you back here and lay
with you till you fell asleep.

(ADAM BREATHING HEAVILY)

HARRY: You looked so scared.

I am.

HARRY: Hey, come here.
Come here.

Hey, come here.

- (SHUSHING)
- (ADAM GROANING)

I'm here. It's okay.

(ADAM CRYING)

(ADAM CONTINUES CRYING)

You're okay.

ADAM: I was sleeping
in their bed

the night they went out.

I was meant to go with them.

To Christmas drinks
at the Walsh's.

Around midnight, um...

Two police came to the door.
A man and a woman.

He had really beautiful,
kind eyes,

and this thick, dark stubble.

Looked like
it had been drawn on.

The car skidded
on black ice. (SIGHS)

Both of them
had been drinking.

Dad was killed right away,
but they took Mum to, uh,

Saint Mary's in Croydon,
and she died a few days later.

Did you get to see her?

What'd you mean?
To say goodbye?

Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

No.

My granny thought
it would be too scarring.

(ADAM SNIFFLES)

Mum went through
the windscreen

and she lost an eye,

so she was pretty fucked up.

Jesus.

Yeah.

I went looking for that eye.

I don't know why. Didn't want
anyone else to find it.

Thought it would be
on the side of the road.

(CHUCKLING)

Staring up at me.
"Hi." (CHUCKLES)

I did find a tiny piece

of the windscreen glass, though.

In my head,
it had blood on it,

but maybe that's not true.

The nurse said
that Mum woke up

just before she died.

She must've been so confused.
Can't hardly see and...

Dad wasn't there,
I wasn't there.

I can't even begin
to imagine how you felt.

How lonely you must've been.

Yeah, but, like,
I'd always felt lonely,

even before.

This was a new feeling.

Like...

a terror,

that I'd always be alone now.

And then, as I got older,
that feeling just,

just solidified.

Just a...

Just a knot here all the time.

And then losing them,

it just got tangled up
with all the other stuff,

about being gay,

and just feeling, like,

the future doesn't matter.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Mmm-hmm.

I know how easy it can be
to stop caring about yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Adam.

Will you come with me?

(CHUCKLES)

Where to?

Just let me show you.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Whose house is this?

My parents'.

Yeah. Who lives here now?

It's okay. Don't worry.

Hello?

Adam.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

ADAM: Hello?

- Where are they?
- HARRY: Who?

ADAM: Hello?

HARRY: Who?

ADAM: My parents.

This is our house.
This is our kitchen.

This is our wallpaper.
That's our table where we had

fish and chips
every Friday night,

so my mother could pretend

we were still Catholic.

Adam I want to go home.
Let me take you home.

- This is my home.
- No, it used to be.

- It's not anymore. Adam!
- Mum?

- Dad?
- Adam, listen.

Let me take you home.

You go home!

You go home. I'm not going.

ADAM: Where are they?

Where are they?

(BANGING ON DOOR)

Mum?

- Adam, stop it.
- Dad?

(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)

ADAM: Can you see them?

Let me in.

Please.

Please let me in.

Please let me in.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

DAD: He has to stop now.

He has to get on
with his life.

He can't keep coming here.

We're not allowing him
to get on with his life.

MUM: I think
we are helping him.

DAD: No, we're not.
It's not normal.

- It's not...
- Why didn't you let us in?

Where is he? Is he here?
Is Harry here?

MUM: No.

We did see him, though.

But I wanted you to meet him.

I know, but I don't think
this works like that.

Looked like
a handsome fellow, though.

Is he your special friend?

Do you mean my boyfriend?

Is he my boyfriend?
You can say it.

Okay. Well,
is he your boyfriend?

Um... Uh, I don't know.

Are you in love with him?

(ADAM CHUCKLES)

Why is that so strange?

I don't know, I've never been
in love before, so...

Not really.

So, this...

I don't know if this is it.

MUM: Sweetheart.

Well,

he certainly seems to care
about you a whole heap,

in my not so humble opinion.

Do you think you'd like
to be in love with him?

Yeah?

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

- Son, I think we...
- No.

Don't say it.

- Please don't say it.
- No, we have to.

We have to.

Um...

Me and your mum,

we think that it's best you
don't come visit us anymore.

All right.

You're just gonna keep coming
and coming, I know you are.

And we can see
what this is doing to you.

It's not doing anything to me.

Yes, it is.

It won't let you move on.

Okay, well, I'll come less.

I'll come once a year.
I'll come at Christmas.

Come on, lad, we...

You have to have known

that this wasn't
gonna last forever.

I'm not asking for it
to last forever.

I'm just...

It hasn't been long enough.

Hasn't been close
to long enough.

I know, but it never could be,
could it?

Hey, listen.

I've got an idea.

How's about...

How's about we go
to your favorite place

in the whole
bloody world, huh?

I'm sure it's still open.

It's the next best thing
to Disneyland.

It's fucking cheaper too.

(ADAM LAUGHING)

- What do you think?
- (ADAM SIGHS)

(ENGINE WHIRRING)

(IF I COULD SEE THE WORLD
(THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD) PLAYING)

WOMAN: (SINGING)
If I could see the world

Through the eyes of a child

What a wonderful world

This would be

There'd be no trouble...

ADAM: Uh, can I get
the "family special", please?

SERVER: That's a lot of food.

That's okay.

Not really very hungry.

- No, me neither.
- No.

Hey, I wanna ask you
something.

- God, no, don't ask.
- No, no, I'm gonna ask him.

- Was it quick?
- Oh, Jesus.

- I told you not to ask.
- You're the... You wanna know.

Yeah, but what if it was slow
and horribly painful?

Yeah, but what difference
does it make?

It makes a big difference.

ADAM: It was quick.

- Was it?
- ADAM: Yeah.

For both of us?

Mmm-hmm.

MUM: No, you don't seem sure.

Don't be fibbing now.

It was quick.

It was really quick.

Well, okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but that's a relief,
isn't it? Of sorts.

It's been playing on my mind,
that has.

What do you think
we should say

to each other? (CHUCKLES)

Not sure I have much wisdom
to share.

I don't know, maybe,
Adam being older,

should be sharing some
with us.

Maybe we shouldn't
say anything.

Maybe.

Although, I will say
that getting

to know you has made us
very proud, son.

I haven't done anything
to be proud of.

- I've just muddled through.
- No, but you got through.

Some tough times, I'm sure,

and you're still here.

That's what we're proud of.

Yeah.

Dad?

DAD: Hmm?

Stay. Stay. Stay a bit longer.

DAD: No,
I don't think so, son.

MUM: Love you, darling.

You do?

Sometimes, I wasn't so sure.

Whatever problems we had,

I'm glad we got to be together
at the end.

Me too.

Now, I...

I know I was never good
at saying it.

I just couldn't
get the words out.

I do love you very much.

Somehow, even more,
now that I know you.

It's important
that you believe me.

I do.

(VOICE BREAKS)
And I love you very much.

Dad?

(PATTING ON HAND)

Dad, did...
Dad, did you hear that?

MUM: (SOBS)
Oh, Adam, are you there?

I can't see you.
Why can't I see you?

I'm here, Mum.

MUM: Oh, there you are.

I can feel you.

Skin's lovely and warm.

Now, you listen.

You promise me

that you're gonna try
with this Harry boy.

Yeah.

I'd have liked him. I know it.

He might need a bit
of taking care of, mind you.

He's got such a sad face.

- Do you hear me?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I hear you.

That's good.

I hope you
make each other a bit happier.

Such a kind and gentle boy.

- SERVER: Enjoy.
- Thank you.

(ADAM EXHALES)

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

(BEEPS)

(TV STATIC BUZZING)

(BUZZING STOPS)

(DRIPPING)

Harry?

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

(COUGHING)

(DOOR RATTLES, OPENS)

What are you doing down here?

I came to find you.

Why are you here?

I... I said goodbye to them,
so I came to see you.

(HARRY EXHALES)

(HARRY GROANS)

- It's okay.
- HARRY: It's not okay, though,

is it?

I was so scared that night.
I just needed to not be alone.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I was too scared

to let you in.

I'm in there, aren't I?

- Let's just go upstairs.
- No, no, no.

I just need you
to tell me, okay?

Because I can smell it.
I can...

taste it in my throat.

(EXHALES)

How come no one found me?

Where was my mum and my dad?

- I found you...
- (VOICE BREAKS) I know,

but I... Adam,
I don't want you

to see me like that
in there. It's...

You're not in there.
You're not in there.

You're not in there.

You're here.

You're here.

You're here.

With me.

Let's just go upstairs.

(HARRY CHUCKLES)

I saw her, you know.

Your mum.

Your dad, too, at the house.

They saw you, too.

They did?

Mmm-hmm.

My dad says
you're a handsome fellow.

(HARRY CHUCKLING)

Hmm.

ADAM: They'd have loved you.

They both would.

That's good.

Did you get to say
what you wanted to say?

I don't know,
but I got to be with them.

HARRY: It's good
that you were all together.

Yeah.

I'm scared.

I know.

But I'm here with you.

HARRY: Don't let this
get tangled up again.

Okay, come on.

Okay.

(GRUNTING)

(EXHALES)

It's so quiet.

Never could stand
how quiet this place was.

Will you put a record on?

- What would you like?
- You choose.

(THE POWER OF LOVE PLAYING)

"I'll protect you
from the hooded claw."

"Keep the vampires
from your door."

MAN: (SINGING)
Ay, ay, ay, ay

Feels like fire

I'm so in love with you

Dreams are like angels

They keep bad at bay,
bad at bay

Love is the light

Scaring darkness away, yeah

I'm so in love with you

Purge the soul

Make love your goal

The power of love

A force from above

Cleaning my soul

Flame on, burn desire

Love with tongues of fire

Purge the soul

Make love your goal

I'll protect you
from the hooded claw

Keep the vampires
from your door

When the chips are down
I'll be around

With my undying,
death-defying love for you

Envy will hurt itself

Let yourself be beautiful

Sparkling love, flowers
And pearls and pretty girls

Love is like an energy

Rushin' an' rushin'
inside of me, eh

The power of love

A force from above

Cleaning my soul

Flame on, burn desire

Love with tongues of fire

Purge the soul

Make love your goal

This time we go sublime

Lovers entwine, divine, divine

Love is danger,
love is pleasure

Love is pure,
the only treasure

I'm so in love with you
Purge the soul

Make love your goal

The power of love

A force from above

Cleaning my soul

The power of love

A force from above

A sky-scraping dove

Flame on, burn desire

Love with tongues of fire

Purge the soul

Make love your goal

I'll protect you
from the hooded claw

Keep the vampires
from your door