Original subtitles

AND FINALLY, THE TOP LIBERTY MILLS SCHOOL SCANDAL OF THE WEEK:

THE HONOR SOCIETY CLAIMED THAT THEIR CAR WASH WAS A HUGE SUCCESS.

HO HO HO!

IT WASN'T.

Recorded voice: Oh, yeah!

THIS IS WEBMASTER X SIGNING OFF.

RORY... YOU DO DRUGS?

NO.

FOR A SECOND THERE THIS ALL MADE SENSE.

I'M SHOOTING A SEGMENT FOR MY WEBCAST.

WEBMASTER X... THAT'S ME.

YEAH. YOU KNOW, I WAS GONNA CALL YOU "LOSER,"

BUT YOU SAVED IT WITH THE ARM THING.

- SO HOW MANY HITS YOU GET? - THAT'S THE THING.

I'M KIND OF HAVING TROUBLE BUILDING A FOLLOWING.

MMM. YOU THINK IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE REPORTING ON CAR WASHES

IN A MONKEY MASK?

DUDE, YOU GOTTA SPICE THINGS UP

IF YOU WANT TO GET PAYING CUSTOMERS.

PAYING CUSTOMERS? NO, MY WEBSITE'S FREE.

HA HA! NOT ANYMORE, PARTNER.

STEP ASIDE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M RIGGING YOU UP A PAY WEBSITE.

THAT'S RIGHT. I NEED SOME QUICK MONEY FOR AN INVESTMENT THAT WENT SOUR.

WHAT'D YOU INVEST IN?

THE PISTONS BY THREE.

I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE BET ALL OF NEXT SEMESTER'S TUITION MONEY,

BUT COME ON! BY THREE!

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE DANCE THIS WEEKEND. AREN'T YOU?

YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE THE BEST EXPERIENCES AT SCHOOL DANCES.

THE LAST ONE I WENT TO, I SPENT MOST OF THE NIGHT

WITH MY FACE IN THE TOILET.

YOU WEREN'T DRINKING, WERE YOU?

NO, BUT I THINK THE SENIOR HOLDING MY HEAD DOWN WAS.

YOU KNOW, CAN'T WE JUST GO SEE A MOVIE INSTEAD?

JEREMY, DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY,

BUT HOBBITS ARE STUPID.

SEE, IF YOU'D JUST READ THE BOOK FIRST...

HONEY, STUPID.

HOBBITS ARE NOT STUPID.

HEY, SHE'S GOT A NAME, OKAY?

HI, I'M BETH DOYLE! AND YOU MUST BE...

WEIRD GIRL. TOO MUCH ENERGY. CAN'T DEAL WITH IT.

OH HI, BETH.

HELLO, MRS. HENNESSY.

OUR FAMILY WON THIS CAKE AT CHURCH FOR GOSPEL TRIVIA.

THANK YOU. ANYWAY, WE CAN'T EAT IT BECAUSE IT HAS GLUTEN IN IT.

OH, BETH.

IS YOUR MOM TRYING TO FATTEN ME UP?

ACTUALLY, YES. SHE THINKS NOW THAT YOU'RE SINGLE,

YOU'RE A DISTRACTION TO DAD.

WELL, THAT'S SUPER.

HI, KERRY. HI, KYLE.

HI, BRIDGET. HI, LATEST.

LATEST?

OH, SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU SHE'S HAD OTHERS,

LIKE MY BROTHER DONNY?

AND HE WAS HANDSOME AND SENSITIVE AND SMART...

AND HE HAD PECS THAT LOOKED LIKE THEY'D BEEN CARVED OUT OF MARBLE.

SHOULD YOU BE TALKING ABOUT YOUR BROTHER LIKE THIS?

OH, IT'S OKAY. WE'RE ALL ADOPTED.

ANYWAY, SHE DUMPED DONNY AND BROKE HIS HEART

LIKE EVERY OTHER GUY SHE'S EVER DATED.

BUT I'M SURE IT'LL BE DIFFERENT FOR YOU. GOOD LUCK.

YEAH YEAH YEAH.

HEY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON.

HI.

- HI. - IS CATE HERE?

I'M JUDY McKENNA WITH THE P.T.A.

YEAH, WELL THERE FOR A MINUTE I THOUGHT OUR MAILMAN

GOT A HELL OF A LOT PRETTIER.

IS THAT JUDY?

WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK? WHAT ARE YOU, A SCOTCH GIRL?

OH, JUDY, I'M SORRY I MISSED THE MEETING.

I FORGOT TO CALL BUT I HAD TO WORK LATE AGAIN.

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MISS A MEETING, CATE.

THEY ELECTED ME AN OFFICER?

CONGRATULATIONS, RECORDING SECRETARY.

HERE ARE YOUR MINUTES.

A BRANDY? HOW ABOUT A BRANDY, JUDY?

UH, DAD, SHE DOESN'T WANT A DRINK.

IS YOUR NAME JUDY?

THE MAIN THING THAT WE TALKED ABOUT

WAS HOW INAPPROPRIATE THE DANCING HAS BECOME.

SO THE P.T.A. HAS VOTED TO OUTLAW PROVOCATIVE DANCING.

WHAT WOULD THAT LOOK LIKE, JUDY?

DAD.

HAVE YOU SEEN SOME OF THE MOVES THAT THEY DO?

OH, I TELL YOU, THE KIDS TODAY...

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY GET THEIR VALUES.

GIN AND TONIC?

GIVE IT UP, CUSTER. YOU'RE, LIKE, 100.

CHARDONNAY FOR THE LADY?

I THINK I'LL BE GOING NOW.

OOH, YOU WANT ME TO WALK YOU TO YOUR CAR?

OKAY, SURE.

- WHAT A GENTLEMAN. - HA HA.

TAKE IT EASY, SCARLETT. I JUST NEED A RIDE TO MY DORM.

- HEY, GUYS. - HI, KERRY.

LOOK, THE P.T.A. HAS OUTLAWED SUGGESTIVE DANCING,

- SO WATCH IT AT THE DANCE. - WHAT?

THAT'S RIDICULOUS. DANCING IS A FORM OF EXPRESSION.

THE FIRST AMENDMENT PROTECTS ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DANCE LIKE...

THIS OR... OR LIKE THIS.

UH... CATE, CATE, CATE!

STOP. OKAY?

I USED TO HOLD THAT IN MY ARMS.

KERRY, STOP IT!

LOOK, IT'S JUST A NEW RULE. OBEY IT.

IT'S NOTHING TO GET ALL WORKED UP ABOUT.

YEAH, EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

OOH, I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY!

I AM GONNA DANCE HOWEVER I WANT.

- I JUST THINK YOU'RE MISSING THE IMPORTANT ISSUE HERE. - WHAT?

BETH DOYLE WAS MEAN TO ME.

I MEAN, I HAVE REAL FEELINGS FOR JEREMY.

BRIDGET, GET OVER IT. YOU'RE FICKLE.

SURE YOU'RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH JEREMY,

BUT YOU WERE ALSO MADLY IN LOVE WITH DONNY

WHEN DAMIAN CAME ALONG.

DAMIAN?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- HEY. - HEY.

SO WHAT TIME DO YOU WANT ME TO PICK YOU UP ON SATURDAY?

SHE'S SPOKEN FOR!

YES, I AM SPOKEN FOR.

SO UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU EVER...

TO CALL ME AT THIS PHONE NUMBER.

AND IF THIS NUMBER IS BUSY,

THIS PHONE NUMBER.

AND IF THIS NUMBER IS BUSY, THIS CELL PHONE NUMBER.

AND IF YOU EVER COME TO THIS ADDRESS

ON OAKDALE AVENUE, WELL, YOU'LL BE STEPPING

INTO SOME VERY HOT WATER, MISTER.

AND I MEAN HOT.

OKAY, YEAH, I ADMIT, I MAY HAVE BEEN DRAWN TO

DAMIAN'S "DEVIL DAYCARE" ATTITUDE

BUT JEREMY AND I CONNECT AT A WAY HIGHER LEVEL.

WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON. WE TALK ABOUT BOOKS...

THAT HE'S READ.

BESIDES, I HEARD DAMIAN MOVED AWAY.

SO YOU HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR DAMIAN AT ALL?

I AM SO OVER HIM.

GOOD.

'CAUSE I HEARD HE JUST MOVED BACK.

AND FINALLY, WE HAVE A WEBMASTER EXCLUSIVE.

BRIAN MUNSON AND MEGAN GIBBS

PLAYED A LITTLE TONSIL HOCKEY LAST NIGHT.

YES, THE SAME BRIAN MUNSON

WHO DATES MEGAN'S BEST FRIEND ASHLEY COOKE.

MEGAN, "YOU GOT SOME 'SPLAINING TO DO!"

SIGNING OFF, THIS IS WEBMASTER X.

NICE. MUCH BETTER.

A LITTLE "COSMO GIRL," BUT I LIKE IT.

SO WHO'S YOUR SOURCE?

I GOT IT FROM BRIDGET'S DIARY.

WHOA.

WAIT A SECOND.

YOU WENT INTO YOUR SISTER'S ROOM, STOLE HER DIARY,

AND BROADCAST IT ON THE INTERNET?

WELL, YEAH.

DUDE, PRETTY SOON YOU'RE NOT GONNA NEED ME.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

HMM? OH, I'M WORRIED ABOUT CHEMISTRY.

OKAY, LOOK, I KNOW DAMIAN IS IN BACK IN TOWN,

AND YES, WE HAD GREAT CHEMISTRY, BUT IT'S SO OVER.

NO, I MEANT I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY CHEMISTRY TEST.

BUT THANKS, NOW I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOUR OLD BOYFRIEND INSTEAD.

KERRY, GET THAT.

I'M BUSY. LET THE MACHINE PICK UP.

Hey, it's Damian.

I've been looking for you...

and dreaming about you.

Sorry I missed you.

Well, I gotta go meet up with my posse.

Call me.

BRIDGE, DAMIAN CALLED.

WELL, I GOTTA GO.

NO, JEREMY, WAIT, IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS.

HOT GUYS LEAVE MESSAGES FOR ME ALL THE TIME.

NO, SERIOUSLY, I GOTTA GO MEET UP WITH MY POSSE.

OOH. CHESS CLUB?

OH, I GET IT: THE NERD GOES TO CHESS CLUB.

ROCKET CLUB?

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

HEY, I'M WATCHING THAT.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? A HAWK TRY TO SCOOP YOU UP AGAIN?

I'M LOOKING FOR SOME NEW DANCE MOVES,

YOU KNOW, TO TICK OFF THE MORALITY POLICE.

REALLY?

WELL...

WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO THE MASTER OF DANCE-ASTER?

ALL RIGHT, DON'T BEG. YOU'LL GET TO SEE A FEW.

START OUT WITH A LITTLE "THRILLER."

THAT'S A FUN ONE. THEN YOU GO INTO A LITTLE M.C. HAMMER

TO SHAKE IT UP A BIT.

STOP! STOP!

THEN YOU GO MISSY ELLIOTT JUST TO GET A LITTLE NASTY.

♪ OOH! ♪

C.J.?

- C.J.? - HEY!

HI. SO IF ANYONE ASKS YOU TO DANCE LIKE THAT,

YOU SAY NO. I MEAN, THIS IS SERIOUS. YOU SAW "FOOTLOOSE."

HEY, I GOT YOUR BACK, AUNT CATE.

THANKS, C.J., BUT WE GOT IT COVERED.

SO GRANDPA AND I ARE GOING TO CHAPERONE THE DANCE.

YOU'RE CHAPERONING THE DANCE? WHY?

WELL, BECAUSE I WANT TO STAY MORE INVOLVED.

AND JUDY COULD USE AN EXTRA HAND.

YES, I WAS CALLING DAMIAN BACK.

IT WOULD BE RUDE NOT TO.

EVERYONE KNOWS I ALWAYS RETURN MY MESSAGES.

STOP GRILLING ME!

YOU STILL LIKE HIM.

NO, I JUST WANTED TO HEAR HIS VOICE...

AND THE GUITAR.

- WHAT GUITAR? - YOU DON'T HEAR...

OH MY GOD.

KERRY, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? I'M SO MIXED UP.

I'M WITH THIS FANTASTIC GUY AND THEN DAMIAN HAS TO COME BACK INTO MY LIFE.

AND SOMEONE STOLE MY DIARY.

BRIDGET, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT YOU'RE FICKLE.

I AM NOT. IN FACT,

I'M ONLY THINKING OF JEREMY STARTING NOW.

OKAY, STARTING NOW.

DUDE, WE'RE WAY DOWN ON HITS.

AT THIS RATE, I'LL NEVER GET OUT OF DEBT.

THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

I'LL HAVE TO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE AND MOVE BACK IN HERE.

THAT'S MY PROBLEM.

DON'T PANIC, AWKWARD STAGE.

THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING JUICY IN BRIDGET'S DIARY TO GET OUR CUSTOMERS BACK.

LET'S SEE.

"TODAY OUR COUSIN C.J. CAME TO STAY WITH US.

HE'S, LIKE, TOTALLY CREEPY AND SMELLS LIKE MOLD."

BLAH BLAH BLAH... "I SO HATE HER."

BLAH BLAH BLAH... "I SO LOVE MY HAIR."

"TODAY ASHLEY HEARD ABOUT MEGAN KISSING BRIAN MUNSON.

ASHLEY'S SO UPSET, SHE'S GONNA KICK MEGAN'S ASS AT THE DANCE TONIGHT."

HAY HOO HEE HEE!

OH MY GOD, BINGO. THAT'S IT.

WE BROADCAST A LIVE CHICK FIGHT ON THE INTERNET...

WITH THIS LITTLE BABY.

- WHERE'D YOU GET THAT? - IN THE ARMY.

THEY LET YOU TAKE STUFF WHEN YOU LEAVE.

YOU KNOW, COMBS, DUFFEL BAGS...

MILLION-DOLLAR TOP-SECRET SPY CAMERAS?

BOOTS, TRAIL MIX. YEAH.

ALL WE GOTTA DO IS GET THIS

INTO THE DANCE SOMEHOW.

COME ON, DAD. WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR THE DANCE.

- I'M COMING. I'M COMING. - GRANDPA?

WAIT. I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

WELL, THANK YOU, RORY.

KIND OF SISSY OF YOU, BUT THANK YOU.

NO, THANK YOU, GRAMPYCAM.

UGH! LOOK AT ALL THESE LEMMINGS.

I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE THESE PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY

LISTENING TO THE P.T.A.

THERE'S NO BUMPING, NO GRINDING...

AND NO CHICKEN DANCE.

WHAT COWARDS.

HI, GUYS.

WHAT?

HONEY, I AM SORRY THAT YOUR GRANDFATHER AND I ARE CHAPERONES.

AND I'M SORRY, KYLE, THAT IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR YOU

TO PUT THE MOVES ON MY DAUGHTER.

HEY, YOU'RE JUST DOING YOUR JOB,

AND I'M DOING MINE.

OKAY, KYLE, I'M NOT KIDDING.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY NEED THIS CANE.

IT'S JUST A WALKING STICK.

OH, IT'S NICE. MAY I SEE IT?

OH, SURE. SURE.

SO ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?

YES, I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I AM.

MM. WELL, THEN SAY IT.

- DON'T MAKE ME. - YES. SAY IT RIGHT NOW. COME ON.

OKAY. THIS DANCE IS BETTER THAN THE BATTLE OF MORDOR.

WOW, I MUST LIKE YOU A LOT.

I MEAN, I NEVER SAY ANYTHING DISPARAGING ABOUT THE "RINGS."

WHOO.

I NEED PUNCH.

WOW.

HE'S SO CUTE.

YOU'RE SO INTO HIM.

YEAH.

DAMIAN.

BRIDGET, IT'S JUST A MOTORCYCLE.

IT'S DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT'S DAMIAN'S MOTORCYCLE.

DAMIAN'S OUTSIDE.

BRIDGET, HE WANTS TO SEE YOU.

WELL, IF HE WANTS TO SEE ME, WHY DOESN'T HE JUST COME INSIDE?

HE SAYS TOUGH GUYS DON'T DANCE.

THEN WHY DOESN'T HE JUST LEAVE?

HE SAYS TOUGH GUYS DON'T LEAVE.

DOESN'T HE KNOW I HAVE A BOYFRIEND?

HE SAYS TOUGH GUYS DON'T CARE.

AND IF YOU WANT MY OPINION...

KYLE, PUNCH... NOW.

- HEY, NO GIRL'S GONNA... - NOW!

RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, KERRY, COVER FOR ME.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, OKAY?

BRIDGET! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE JEREMY HERE?

I HAVE TO SEE DAMIAN TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NOTHING THERE, OKAY?

I OWE IT TO JEREMY. I MEAN, IT WOULD BE UNFAIR

IF I DIDN'T GO OUT AND SEE DAMIAN RIGHT NOW...

UNFAIR AND INCONSIDERATE.

WOW. JEREMY'S A LUCKY LUCKY GUY.

I HOPE I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING FOR DAMIAN, BUT I HAVE TO MAKE SURE.

BRIDGET, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

NOWHERE! GOD, WILL EVERYONE JUST GET OFF MY BACK?

YOU'RE STILL HERE? DO YOU KNOW WHO'S WAITING OUTSIDE...

FOR YOU... ON A MOTORCYCLE?

DAMIAN?

YOU ARE LIKE SCARY SMART.

JEREMY, I CAN EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS.

NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN.

TOUGH GUYS DON'T WAIT AROUND FOREVER.

- KYLE, GO! - BUT WAIT, THIS IS THE GOOD PART.

LOOK, BRIDGET, IF THERE'S SOMEONE OUTSIDE THAT YOU NEED TO TALK TO,

YOU KNOW, GO AHEAD.

BUT JUST REMEMBER,

YOU KNOW, SMART GUYS DON'T WAIT AROUND FOREVER EITHER.

OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, SMART GUYS WILL WAIT AROUND A LITTLE BIT LONG THAN TOUGH GUYS.

BRIDGET?

BRIDGET?

YEAH?

YOU OKAY?

YES.

LET'S GO DANCE.

SURE.

WHAT IF THIS CHICK FIGHT DOESN'T HAPPEN?

THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO YOUR CLASSMATES

WHY YOU MADE 'EM PAY TO SEE YOUR GRANDPA GO TO THE BATHROOM FIVE TIMES.

OH, HERE IT COMES!

OH, CHICK FIGHT!

IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE.

Jim: You enjoying the dance, Miss McKenna?

Oh, yes, Jim. Please call me Judy.

WHAT'S HE DOING? GRANDPA, TURN YOUR BODY!

YOU'RE MISSING IT! OH MY GOD.

IT'S EITHER MISS McKENNA OR THE BATHROOM.

Girl: You skank! You stole my boyfriend!

Let go of me!

THEY'RE MISSING THE WHOLE FIGHT.

I'M NOT GIVING THE MONEY BACK.

Oh my God, look at the way that girl is dancing.

Jim: Get over here. That's... KERRY!

THIS COULD WORK.

KERRY, KNOCK IT OFF!

KERRY!

EXCUSE ME. KERRY, KERRY, KERRY!

WELL, EXCUSE ME, BUT WHY IS MY DAUGHTER DANCING ON A CELL PHONE?

IT'S AN INTERNET FEED. IT'S WEBMASTER X!

BUT WHO IN GOD'S NAME IS FILMING THIS?

Jim: HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS DOING?

OUCH! DAMN CARNATION KEEPS SHOCKING ME.

RORY, YOU ARE SO DEAD.

DUDE, YOU ARE SO DEAD.

OOH, THEY CAN GET AN ITTY-BITTY CAMERA IN THERE?

I'LL BE DAMNED.

WELL, I GUESS IF THEY CAN GET A SNAPSHOT OF MY COLON...

SO, KERRY, ABOUT THIS DANCING...

MOM, I'M SORRY. I'LL NEVER DANCE LIKE THAT AGAIN.

OH, NO NO NO, I WAS GONNA SAY

I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE SUCH A GREAT DANCER.

YOU KNOW, I DID THIS SO THAT I COULD BE MORE INVOLVED.

BUT YOU DO REALIZE THAT THEY WILL NOW NEVER

LET ME CHAPERONE A DANCE AGAIN.

THANK YOU.

SO I HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME TONIGHT.

ACTUALLY, IT KIND OF SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE SOMEPLACE ELSE ALL NIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? DAMIAN WAS OUTSIDE AND I DIDN'T GO OUT TO SEE HIM.

I STAYED WITH YOU.

WELL, THAT'S ONE INTERPRETATION.

ANOTHER IS THAT YOU STAYED WITH ME BECAUSE HE LEFT.

OH, POTATO POTATO.

LOOK, ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT WE'RE TOGETHER NOW.

LET ME JUST ASK YOU ONE QUESTION,

AND I SWEAR I'LL NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN:

DO YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR DAMIAN?

I THINK I JUST GOT MY ANSWER.

NO, WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

LOOK, BRIDGET, YOU DIDN'T GET ON DAMIAN'S MOTORCYCLE TONIGHT.

BUT ANOTHER NIGHT, ANOTHER MOTORCYCLE.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

YOU CAN'T TELL ME HOW I'M GONNA FEEL.

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT GIRLS, OKAY?

BUT I DID SEE THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE

WHEN YOU FOUND OUT DAMIAN WAS OUTSIDE WAITING FOR YOU.

I MEAN, YOU NEVER GAVE ME THAT LOOK.

OH, NO?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GIVING YOU THAT LOOK.

NOPE, THAT'S NOT IT.

THAT'S NOT IT EITHER.

LISTEN, BRIDGET, BEFORE YOU CAN BE IN A REAL RELATIONSHIP,

I THINK YOU HAVE SOME STUFF YOU NEED TO WORK OUT.

THIS IS NOT HOW BETH DOYLE SAID IT WOULD END.

AND STAY AWAY FROM RORY!

I'M SORRY! BUT CAN I STILL BRING MY LAUNDRY BY TOMORROW?

I'M KIDDING. I'LL SEE YOU AT DINNER.

HEY, ARE YOU OKAY?

JEREMY DUMPED ME.

OH. I'M SORRY.

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I'M ALL ALONE. I'VE NEVER BEEN ALL ALONE.

OH NO, HONEY. NAH.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE. COME HERE.

MOM, THAT'S DAMIAN.

GET OFF, GET OFF! GO GO GO!

- RIGHT NOW! GET OUT! - GEE, THAT DIDN'T TAKE LONG.

HEY.

HEY.

I THOUGHT TOUGH GUYS DON'T WAIT AROUND FOREVER?

WE DON'T. LET'S GO.

WHAT'S WRONG?

I DON'T HEAR GUITARS ANYMORE.

OH, NO?

THERE'S NOTHING SEXY ABOUT A HARD-BOILED EGG.

THERE IS IF YOU'RE DEATHLY ALLERGIC.

GOOD NIGHT, DAMIAN.

GOOD NIGHT, JEREMY.

I THOUGHT SMART GUYS WAITED AROUND.