All language subtitles for 8 Simple Rules S02E13 Opposites Attract - Part 1.DVDRip.NonHi.cc.en

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,685 --> 00:00:05,716 HEY, LOOK WHAT THE VALENTINE'S DAY ELF BROUGHT YOU. 2 00:00:05,740 --> 00:00:09,269 THE BAG SAYS "CARWASH" ON IT. 3 00:00:09,293 --> 00:00:11,504 IT WAS ON THE WAY HOME. 4 00:00:11,528 --> 00:00:15,174 AUNT CATE, BE MINE. 5 00:00:15,198 --> 00:00:16,893 CAR FRESHENER. 6 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:19,178 WELL, YOU KNOW, C.J., NOTHING SAYS "BE MINE" 7 00:00:19,202 --> 00:00:21,431 LIKE "YOUR CAR STINKS." 8 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,933 AND BRIDGET? 9 00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:28,876 A GENUINE BOBBLEHEAD DOLL OF MR. WAYNE GRETZKY, HUH? 10 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,475 YOU'RE WELCOME. 11 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:35,395 AND WHAT DID THE ELF GET FOR KERRY THE ELF? 12 00:00:35,419 --> 00:00:38,953 SOME WATER... FROM FRANCE. 13 00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,658 SURE THEY'RE COWARDS BUT THEY DO MAKE THE BEST WATER. 14 00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:46,490 AND RORY, I'M SORRY. 15 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,809 THERE'S NOTHING IN THE ELF BAG FOR YOU... 16 00:00:48,833 --> 00:00:51,027 EXCEPT... 17 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,030 A POSTCARD OF TWO GORILLAS DRINKING BEER. 18 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:58,017 IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MUCH, BUT IT MADE ME LAUGH. 19 00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:01,037 TWO GORILLAS DRINKING BEER MADE YOU... 20 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,823 AHA HA HA HA! 21 00:01:03,847 --> 00:01:10,485 AND FOR MY FAVORITE GAMPY... SEA MONKEYS? 22 00:01:11,755 --> 00:01:14,640 THEY SAY PETS MAKE OLD PEOPLE LIVE LONGER. 23 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,156 FOR EVERY ACTION, THERE IS AN EQUAL 24 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,225 AND OPPOSITE REACTION. 25 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,626 WHEN YOU SIT IN YOUR CHAIR... 26 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,578 SO ANYWAY, I REALLY LIKE THE HIGH-RISE THONG, 27 00:01:25,602 --> 00:01:27,930 BUT ALL THEY SEEM TO MAKE THESE DAYS ARE THE LOW-RIDING KIND. 28 00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:30,133 - THAT IS SO TRUE. - I JUST HATE THAT... 29 00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:32,735 DO YOU KNOW, I APPRECIATE YOUR UNDERWEAR DILEMMA, 30 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,420 BUT I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE TEACHER. 31 00:01:34,444 --> 00:01:36,439 I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TOO. 32 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,141 ANYWAY, THE LOW-RIDING THONG DRIVES ME NUTS. 33 00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,860 - I CAN'T STAND THE WAY... - EXCUSE ME. 34 00:01:39,884 --> 00:01:42,963 - I'M TALKING. - NONSTOP. 35 00:01:42,987 --> 00:01:45,649 JEREMY, BRIDGET, IS THERE A PROBLEM? 36 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:46,899 - NO. - I'M FINE. 37 00:01:46,923 --> 00:01:49,319 - SCIENCE GEEK. - MORON. 38 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:52,572 OKAY, JEREMY AND BRIDGET ARE GOING TO BE LAB PARTNERS. 39 00:01:52,596 --> 00:01:58,561 AND KELLY AND JENNA, AND SCOTT AND SHARON. 40 00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:00,797 GREAT. YAY! 41 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,399 NOW WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER. 42 00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:05,218 YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND WE'LL BOTH GET As. 43 00:02:05,242 --> 00:02:07,320 YOU KNOW WHAT? KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND WE'LL BOTH GET Ds. 44 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,806 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 45 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:13,009 SO DID YOU SAY YOU'RE GETTING AN A IN THIS CLASS? 46 00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,277 YEP. 47 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,362 UM, HOW ABOUT ENGLISH? GETTING AN A IN THAT TOO? 48 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,864 "WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH." 49 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,766 NO NO, I ASKED, ARE YOU GETTING AN A? 50 00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:23,236 NO, IT'S "WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH," NOT "HOW ABOUT ENGLISH." 51 00:02:23,260 --> 00:02:26,289 - I MEAN, MAYBE IF YOU SPOKE ENGLISH. - AND MAYBE IF YOU SPOKE... 52 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,790 REGULAR. 53 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,860 OKAY, HERE'S THE THING: 54 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,779 SEE, MY GRADES ARE JUST A WEE BIT LOWER 55 00:02:32,803 --> 00:02:34,681 THAN THEY NEED TO BE FOR ME TO GET INTO COLLEGE. 56 00:02:34,705 --> 00:02:36,399 - MMM, SHOCKER. - YEAH. 57 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,534 AND MY MOM'S TOTALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT ME GOING TO COLLEGE 58 00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,520 AS IF MY ENTIRE FUTURE RIDES ON IT, 59 00:02:40,544 --> 00:02:42,572 BUT LOOK AT ME. YOU KNOW I'M GONNA MARRY WELL. 60 00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,357 AND OFTEN. 61 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,575 THAT IS SO SWEET. 62 00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:49,062 SO YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING 63 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,281 IS MAYBE YOU COULD BE MY LAB PARTNER IN ENGLISH 64 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,532 AND IN SCIENCE. 65 00:02:52,556 --> 00:02:54,217 DON'T YOU MEAN YOUR TUTOR? 66 00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:56,202 WELL, TUTOR, LAB PARTNER... WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 67 00:02:56,226 --> 00:02:58,238 ABOUT 10 BUCKS AN HOUR. 68 00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,473 COME ON, YOU GET TO BE WITH ME. 69 00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:01,996 HMM... $15. 70 00:03:04,534 --> 00:03:07,547 THIS IS JUST GONNA BE THE MOST ROMANTIC VALENTINE'S DAY EVER. 71 00:03:07,571 --> 00:03:08,982 WHY IS THAT? 72 00:03:09,006 --> 00:03:11,084 WELL, DYLAN'S GOING TO PICK ME UP IN HIS CONVERTIBLE 73 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,702 AND SHOWER ME WITH GIFTS. 74 00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,587 I JUST LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY. 75 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:18,524 IT'S TOTALLY STUPID. 76 00:03:18,548 --> 00:03:20,676 IT'S A MADE-UP CORPORATE HOLIDAY. 77 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,595 THERE'S SO MUCH PRESSURE TO DO SOMETHING BIG 78 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,415 BUT EVERYONE JUST WINDS UP DOING SOMETHING MECHANICAL 79 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,250 AND ROTE AND WITH NO FEELING AT ALL. 80 00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:30,475 YEAH. AND THOSE LITTLE HEARTS TASTE LIKE CHALK. 81 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,573 I REMEMBER IN HIGH SCHOOL 82 00:03:33,597 --> 00:03:36,409 I NEEDED A DUFFLE BAG TO CARRY ALL THE CARDS I GOT. 83 00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,578 OH, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME? 84 00:03:38,602 --> 00:03:40,580 SURE, I MAY NOT BE MUCH NOW 85 00:03:40,604 --> 00:03:44,083 AS A RESULT OF SOME HARD AND, YES, QUESTIONABLE LIVING, 86 00:03:44,107 --> 00:03:46,853 BUT BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL I WAS BUFF, YOUNG AND TAN. 87 00:03:46,877 --> 00:03:48,621 GOOD LOOKING. YEAH. 88 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,289 I WAS THE MAN. 89 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:53,898 OH, YEAH? SHOW US THE PICTURE. LET'S SEE YOUR YEARBOOK. 90 00:03:55,719 --> 00:03:57,935 THE MAN WAS SICK ON PICTURE DAY. 91 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,370 GRANDPA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? 92 00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:06,806 - NOTHING. - NOTHING? 93 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:10,093 NO, THAT'S ONE OF THE GREAT THINGS ABOUT HAVING YOUR WIFE LEAVE YOU... 94 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,295 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A SINGLE THING ON VALENTINE'S DAY. 95 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,997 NOTHING, NADA, ZIPPO! 96 00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,133 WELL, IF YOU WERE GETTING GRAM SOMETHING... 97 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,285 OH, PLEASE, YOU CAN'T WIN THAT ONE. 98 00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:21,804 EVERY YEAR YOU GOTTA TOP WHAT YOU GAVE THE YEAR BEFORE. 99 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,507 YOU GIVE THEM FLOWERS? YOU GOTTA GIVE THEM MORE FLOWERS. 100 00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:27,443 AND NOT THE ONES FROM THE YARD. NO NO. 101 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,712 NO, YOU GOTTA PAY THOSE JACKED-UP STORE PRICES 102 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:33,466 FOR THE SAME DAMN FLOWERS EXCEPT THEY HAVE CELLOPHANE. 103 00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,768 AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON CANDY. 104 00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,687 DON'T WORRY. I GOT THE POINT. 105 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,471 YOU KNOW, YOU GET 'EM A BIG BOX OF CHOCOLATES 106 00:04:39,495 --> 00:04:41,691 AND IT'S LIKE, "HEY, WHAT'D YOU GET ME THAT FOR? 107 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,093 THEY'RE SO FATTENING." 108 00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,027 YOU GET 'EM A LITTLE BITTY BOX AND IT'S LIKE, 109 00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,013 "OH, SO YOU THINK I'M FAT?" 110 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,232 NOW JEWELRY IS THE WORST! NOW YOU... 111 00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:50,936 GRAMPS, GRAMPS? I GOTTA GO. 112 00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:56,739 NO, DYLAN, YOU SHUT UP! 113 00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,725 NO, YOU SHUT UP! 114 00:04:58,749 --> 00:05:00,393 DYLAN, YOU SHUT UP. 115 00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:02,812 OKAY, YOU SHUT UP. 116 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,664 OKAY, BYE. 117 00:05:04,688 --> 00:05:08,389 MY NEW BOYFRIEND SO GETS ME. 118 00:05:09,659 --> 00:05:11,804 MM-HMM. 119 00:05:11,828 --> 00:05:14,040 AHEM, ALL RIGHT, SO... 120 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:17,766 WHAT IS EURIPIDES TRYING TO SAY ABOUT WAR IN "THE TROJAN WOMEN"? 121 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,864 YOU KNOW, WHY AM I GETTING THE IMPRESSION 122 00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,533 THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN READ THE PLAY? 123 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:27,091 WELL, I KIND OF GOT AS FAR AS THE "TROJAN" AND STARTED TO GIGGLE. 124 00:05:32,215 --> 00:05:34,677 ALL RIGHT, BRIDGET, YOU HAVE TO LISTEN, OKAY? 125 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:37,931 NOW HELEN IS THE FACE THAT LAUNCHED 1,000 SHIPS. 126 00:05:37,955 --> 00:05:40,433 LET ME PUT IT IN YOUR WORDS: 127 00:05:40,457 --> 00:05:42,824 UM, SHE WAS, LIKE, TOTALLY HOT. 128 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,956 OH. 129 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:50,160 SO THAT'S WHY MEN WENT TO WAR FOR HER. 130 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:52,995 WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT ACTUALLY BRINGS UP AN INTERESTING POINT. 131 00:05:54,704 --> 00:05:56,849 DO YOU THINK THE WAR GOT STARTED OVER A WOMAN 132 00:05:56,873 --> 00:05:59,634 OR DO YOU THINK THE GREEKS WERE TRYING TO GET CONTROL OVER A WATERWAY? 133 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,927 CAN I USE A LIFELINE? 134 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:10,185 MOM, WHAT'S THE BEST GIFT DAD EVERY GOT YOU FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? 135 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:15,050 WELL, YOUR DAD AND I HAD THIS TRADITION: 136 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:18,555 HE WOULD GET ME MY FAVORITE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE, 137 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,358 AN AMAZING BOX OF CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES, 138 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,375 AND ONE RED ROSE. 139 00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:25,845 JUST ONE? DAD WAS CHEAP? 140 00:06:27,537 --> 00:06:32,185 NO. WELL... NO. 141 00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:34,653 IT'S JUST THAT WE DECIDED A LONG TIME AGO 142 00:06:34,677 --> 00:06:37,339 THAT A SMALL TASTE OF THE BEST OF SOMETHING 143 00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:40,793 WAS BETTER THAN A HUGE AMOUNT OF SOMETHING JUST SO-SO. 144 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,580 - THAT'S REALLY ROMANTIC... - YEAH. 145 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,986 AND CHEAP. 146 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,385 JEREMY, PLEASE DON'T GO! 147 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,304 I NEED TO STUDY. 148 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,189 BRIDGET, I HAVE MY OWN STUDYING TO DO. 149 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:54,990 ALL RIGHT? I'M NOT GONNA WASTE MY TIME 150 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:58,094 WITH SOMEONE WHO USES HER CELL PHONE LIKE IT'S PROVIDING OXYGEN. 151 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:07,103 WHAT? 152 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:11,441 BRIDGET, YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GUY IN YOUR ROOM. 153 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,092 I AM TRYING TO GET INTO COLLEGE. 154 00:07:13,116 --> 00:07:15,683 DID HE SAY HE COULD GET YOU INTO COLLEGE? 155 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:21,133 SO WHAT ARE YOU AND KYLE DOING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? 156 00:07:21,157 --> 00:07:23,503 OH, WE'RE GOING TO THE MOVIES. IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 157 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:26,339 YOU KNOW, KERRY, THIS IS YOUR FIRST VALENTINE'S DAY WITH A BOYFRIEND 158 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,990 INSTEAD OF A STUFFED ANIMAL. 159 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,742 YOU MIGHT WANT TO LIGHTEN UP AND ENJOY IT. 160 00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:32,378 IT'S TOTALLY STUPID. IT'S A DAY THAT EXISTS 161 00:07:32,402 --> 00:07:34,797 TO POINT OUT WHO HAS SOMEBODY AND WHO DOESN'T. 162 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,433 AND IT MAKES THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T FEEL AWFUL. 163 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,987 OH, KERRY, IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THEM ANYMORE. 164 00:07:41,011 --> 00:07:43,173 THAT IS THE PAST. AND THIS YEAR 165 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,491 YOU'LL BE GETTING A VALENTINE CARD THAT YOU DIDN'T MAIL TO YOURSELF. 166 00:07:45,515 --> 00:07:47,632 I'VE NEVER MAILED... 167 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:53,249 AND KYLE IS GOING TO WINE AND DINE YOU 168 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,718 AND SHOWER YOU WITH PRESENTS. AND BY THE END OF THE NIGHT 169 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,821 YOU ARE GONNA FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS. 170 00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:01,557 WELL, I GUESS FEELING LIKE A PRINCESS JUST ONCE 171 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,342 - WOULDN'T TOTALLY SUCK. - MMM. 172 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:08,681 IT'S DYLAN. PROBABLY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT TO GET ME FOR VALENTINE'S. 173 00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:10,800 HI, DYL. I LIKE DARK CHOCOLATE, 174 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,719 ANYTHING GUMMY AND... WHAT? 175 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:17,439 WHAT? OH, WHATEVER. 176 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,141 BYE. 177 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,811 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. HE JUST HAD TO CANCEL. 178 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,031 - WHY? - SOMETHING ABOUT APPENDICITIS. 179 00:08:25,055 --> 00:08:26,900 APPENDICITIS? THAT'S AWFUL. 180 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:30,658 YEAH, AND ON VALENTINE'S DAY! WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN TO ME? 181 00:08:31,895 --> 00:08:34,724 KERRY, I LIVE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY. 182 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:38,928 I MEAN, IT'S A DAY SET ASIDE FOR BEAUTIFUL GIRLS. 183 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:42,414 SO YOU DON'T THINK THAT UNATTRACTIVE PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE? 184 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,872 OH, KERRY, THAT'S NOT LOVE; THAT'S COMPANY. 185 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,625 HI, GRANDPA. 186 00:08:52,649 --> 00:08:55,350 DID YOU NAME YOUR SEA MONKEYS YET? 187 00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:59,598 C.J., WOULD YOU COME OVER HERE FOR A MINUTE? 188 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,055 I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 189 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,976 WHERE'S THE CANE? 190 00:09:07,097 --> 00:09:08,796 THROW IT OVER THERE. 191 00:09:15,505 --> 00:09:19,235 YOU KNOW, C.J., IT REALLY HURTS MY FEELINGS 192 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,503 WHEN YOU MAKE JOKES ABOUT ME BEING OLD. 193 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,389 REALLY? 194 00:09:23,413 --> 00:09:26,109 GRANDPA, I FEEL TERRIBLE. 195 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,510 I THINK I NEED TO DRINK SOMETHING TO FEEL BETTER. 196 00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:32,665 OR... OR YOU COULD DO ME A LITTLE FAVOR. 197 00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:33,799 SURE. WHAT DO YOU NEED? 198 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,101 WELL, I WANT YOU TO BUY ME SOME DRUGS. 199 00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:38,955 IS THIS A STING? 200 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:42,875 NO NO, IT'S MEDICATION FOR MY HIP. 201 00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:45,227 OH. COOL, RIGHT. OKAY. 202 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,331 WHY DON'T YOU GET A PEN AND IF YOU COULD WRITE IT DOWN ON A... 203 00:09:49,406 --> 00:09:51,333 PIECE OF PAPER. 204 00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:54,409 "ACETYLSALICYLIC ACID"? 205 00:09:55,978 --> 00:09:58,724 - ALL RIGHT, I'M ON IT. - HEY, THANK YOU, SON. 206 00:09:58,748 --> 00:10:01,844 THE THING OF IT IS IT'S ON BACK ORDER RIGHT NOW 207 00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,513 AND THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN GET IT IS CANADA. 208 00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:07,050 WHAT? 209 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,736 DUDE, I'M NOT GOING TO CANADA FOR YOU 210 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,821 ON VALENTINE'S DAY. 211 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,956 I'LL NEVER MAKE IT BACK IN TIME FOR LAST CALL 212 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,364 AND THAT'S WHEN I GET GOOD LOOKING. 213 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,222 ALL RIGHT, OLD YELLER, I'LL GO. 214 00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:27,820 I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I CAN. 215 00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,277 THANK YOU, SON. 216 00:10:30,413 --> 00:10:32,163 WHAT A TOOL. 217 00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,275 - HEY, HONEY. - HEY, MOM. 218 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,775 OH... OH MY GOD. 219 00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:52,678 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS. 220 00:10:52,702 --> 00:10:56,048 - WELL, I... - RORY, THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING 221 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,568 ANYONE HAS EVER DONE FOR ME. 222 00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:00,503 HONEY, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 223 00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:05,108 THANK YOU, REALLY. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. 224 00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,415 OH, RORY! 225 00:11:14,291 --> 00:11:16,574 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MOM. 226 00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:26,345 HEY, ROR. 227 00:11:26,369 --> 00:11:27,863 HEY, MISSY. 228 00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:29,198 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 229 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,806 WOW. THIS IS SO COOL. 230 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,679 I HAVE TO TELL YOU, KERRY, 231 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,998 THIS IS THE BEST VALENTINE'S DAY EVER. 232 00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:48,851 THAT IS SO SWEET. 233 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,920 SO DO YOU WANT TO EXCHANGE GIFTS NOW 234 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,672 OR DO YOU WANT TO WAIT FOR LATER? 235 00:11:52,696 --> 00:11:55,508 HA! GOOD ONE. 236 00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:57,643 THANKS. 237 00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:59,678 YOU KNOW AND TO THINK, LAST YEAR 238 00:11:59,702 --> 00:12:01,897 I BOUGHT YOUR SISTER ALL THAT STUFF. 239 00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:04,722 I MEAN, I AM SAVING, LIKE, SO MUCH MONEY. 240 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,789 SO WHAT MOVIE DO YOU WANT TO SEE? 241 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:13,642 THERE'S THE LOVEY-DOVEY SANDRA BULLOCK MOVIE. 242 00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:17,196 YEAH, I WOULD HAVE DEFINITELY GOT STUCK SEEING THAT ONE LAST YEAR. 243 00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,048 BUT NOT THIS YEAR. 244 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,617 I LOVE GOING OUT WITH YOU. 245 00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:24,837 YEAH, I LOVE GOING OUT WITH YOU TOO. 246 00:12:24,861 --> 00:12:28,140 "NIGHT OF THE GORY DEAD CORPSES." 247 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,663 ONE, PLEASE. 248 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,868 YOU KNOW, AT FIRST I THOUGHT THE PLAY WAS REALLY ROMANTIC, 249 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,636 BUT THEN THE END IS SO SAD. 250 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:44,073 IT'S LIKE EURIPIDES IS SAYING WAR IS BAD. 251 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,507 WOW. 252 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,509 YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THE PLAY. 253 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:50,012 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT AS DUMB AS YOU LOOK. 254 00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:51,697 THANK YOU. 255 00:12:51,721 --> 00:12:54,733 AND YOU'RE NOT AS DULL AS YOU LOOK. 256 00:12:54,757 --> 00:12:57,987 WELL, LOOK AT YOU: A GRAMMATICALLY-CORRECT INSULT. 257 00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,289 - SHUT UP. - YOU SHUT UP! 258 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,125 - NO, YOU SHUT UP. - NO, YOU SHUT UP. 259 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:05,344 HELLO, BRIDGET, JEREMY. 260 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,396 HEY, JENNA. 261 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:11,122 WELL, I'M GONNA GO FIND OUR WAITRESS; SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH OUR SHAKES. 262 00:13:12,509 --> 00:13:16,472 WELL, DON'T YOU TWO MAKE A CUTE COUPLE? 263 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,391 OH, ME AND JEREMY? 264 00:13:18,415 --> 00:13:20,860 NO NO, YOU DON'T THINK WE'RE TOGETHER-TOGETHER. HE'S MY TUTOR. 265 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,028 OH, REALLY? WHAT'S HE TUTORING YOU IN? 266 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,963 LOVE? 267 00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:27,750 WE WERE STUDYING AT MY HOUSE AND WANTED TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT. 268 00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:30,102 I'M TOTALLY GOING OUT WITH DYLAN WHO'S GOT APPENDICITIS. 269 00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:31,520 YEAH, RIGHT, BRIDGE. 270 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,222 I AM. HE WAS GONNA TAKE ME OUT ANYWAY, 271 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,358 BUT I WAS LIKE, "DYLAN, YOU CAN'T DRIVE YOUR CONVERTIBLE 272 00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,693 WITH YOUR GUTS HANGING OUT." CALL THE HOSPITAL. HE'S THERE. 273 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,228 I'M JUST TEASING. 274 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,547 I PROMISE I WON'T TELL ANYONE YOU'RE HERE. OKAY? 275 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:45,356 OKAY. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 276 00:13:48,144 --> 00:13:50,856 WELL, OUR SHAKES ARE COMING... 277 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,247 SOMETHING ABOUT THE MACHINE BEING BROKEN. 278 00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,529 THAT TWO-FACED LIAR. 279 00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:59,098 NO, I THINK SHE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH. 280 00:13:59,122 --> 00:14:00,799 THE MANAGER'S BACK THERE WORKING ON IT. 281 00:14:00,823 --> 00:14:03,302 SO WHERE WERE WE? 282 00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:05,587 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU WERE PRETENDING NEVER TO HAVE NOTICED ME. 283 00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:07,256 WHAT? 284 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,792 CAN WE JUST STICK TO THE STUFF THAT'S GONNA BE ON THE TEST? 285 00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:12,010 WHY? YOU KNOW THE MATERIAL BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS. 286 00:14:12,034 --> 00:14:14,012 YOU CAN GO BACK TO TELLING ME TO SHUT UP AND STUFF. 287 00:14:14,036 --> 00:14:15,915 - OKAY, SHUT UP. - NO, YOU SHUT UP. 288 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,716 DO YOU HAVE TO TALK SO LOUD? 289 00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:20,091 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 290 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,444 OH, I GET IT. 291 00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:31,564 YOU DO? 292 00:14:31,588 --> 00:14:34,667 YEAH. YEAH, IT'S PRETTY CLEAR. 293 00:14:34,691 --> 00:14:37,953 WELL, I GOTTA GO. 294 00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,955 MY GIRLFRIEND'S WAITING 295 00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:42,408 AND MARCHING-BAND PRACTICE JUST GOT OUT. 296 00:14:42,432 --> 00:14:46,501 I GOTTA GO MEET HER. WE'RE GONNA GO SHOPPING FOR XYLOPHONES. 297 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,017 - THANK YOU. - YEAH. 298 00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:54,322 SO IF YOU JUST WANT TO PAY ME, I'LL GET OUT OF HERE. 299 00:14:57,264 --> 00:15:00,048 DOUBLE. IT'S A HOLIDAY. 300 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,520 HERE. THESE ARE FOR YOU. 301 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,573 OH, RORY, THIS IS SO SWEET. 302 00:15:14,597 --> 00:15:17,777 AREN'T THESE THE SILK FLOWERS FROM THE BATHROOM? 303 00:15:17,801 --> 00:15:22,653 UH... WOMEN. 304 00:15:25,108 --> 00:15:27,119 RORY! 305 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,271 WAIT HERE ONE SEC. 306 00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:29,772 OKAY. 307 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,858 UM, HONEY, ABOUT THESE GIFTS... 308 00:15:32,882 --> 00:15:34,877 YOU KNOW, THE CIDER AND CHOCOLATE... 309 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,929 I REALIZED I MADE A MISTAKE. 310 00:15:36,953 --> 00:15:38,931 MAKE SURE THEY GET TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNER. 311 00:15:38,955 --> 00:15:41,500 NO, MOM, THEY'RE FOR YOU. YOU KEEP 'EM. 312 00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:45,720 UM, HONEY, THOSE SILK FLOWERS FROM THE BATHROOM, 313 00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:47,845 THEY'RE REALLY EXPENSIVE. 314 00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:52,984 GET 'EM BACK. 315 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,818 HERE, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 316 00:15:59,842 --> 00:16:03,506 OH, RORY, THIS IS SO ROMANTIC. 317 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,275 THANK YOU. SHOULD I GET US TWO GLASSES? 318 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,027 OKAY. 319 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,546 HEY, THIS IS USED CHOCOLATE! 320 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,798 WHAT? 321 00:16:12,822 --> 00:16:15,150 YEAH, SOMEONE ATE LIKE HALF THE BOX! 322 00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:17,341 SORRY. 323 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,277 ISN'T A SMALL AMOUNT OF SOMETHING REALLY GOOD 324 00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:28,581 BETTER THAN A WHOLE LOT OF SOMETHING THAT'S ONLY SO-SO? 325 00:16:28,605 --> 00:16:32,167 SOUNDS LIKE A FANCY WAY OF SAYING "CHEAP." 326 00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:35,543 - BUT I... LET ME... - I'LL JUST SEE YOU MONDAY. 327 00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,667 I TOLD YOU. 328 00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:50,986 LOOK AT THE BOUQUET THAT GIRL HAS. 329 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,689 THEY'RE SO GIGANTIC SHE CAN BARELY WALK. 330 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:57,175 YEAH. FOOL PROBABLY SPENT LIKE 50 BUCKS ON THAT. 331 00:16:57,199 --> 00:17:00,012 I DON'T NECESSARILY THINK HE'S A FOOL. 332 00:17:00,036 --> 00:17:01,747 DUMB CORPORATE HOLIDAY. 333 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:04,750 - FLOWER FOR THE PRETTY LADY. - NO THANK YOU. 334 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,752 GOD, KYLE! 335 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,387 WHAT'S WRONG? 336 00:17:08,411 --> 00:17:10,239 WHAT'S WRONG? 337 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,357 IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY. 338 00:17:12,381 --> 00:17:14,994 EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, PEOPLE ARE BEING SHOWERED WITH GIFTS 339 00:17:15,018 --> 00:17:17,862 AND HAVING THE BEST, MOST ROMANTIC NIGHT OF THEIR LIVES, 340 00:17:17,886 --> 00:17:20,182 AND YOU MAKE ME BUY MY OWN TICKET TO A MOVIE 341 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,406 WHERE PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE ARE LITERALLY VOMITING. 342 00:17:24,226 --> 00:17:26,788 YOU SAID YOU HATED VALENTINE'S DAY. 343 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,891 I KNOW. I DO. 344 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:33,612 THEN STUPID BRIDGET GOT ME ALL EXCITED ABOUT IT. 345 00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,698 NEVER MIND. JUST TAKE ME HOME. 346 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,265 WHAT? NO. 347 00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:39,635 NO. LOOK, OKAY? 348 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:42,320 I WASN'T GONNA GIVE YOU THIS UNTIL AFTER MIDNIGHT 349 00:17:42,344 --> 00:17:45,107 BECAUSE THEN IT WOULDN'T BE VALENTINE'S DAY ANYMORE, 350 00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:48,165 BUT YOUR OWN SPECIAL DAY. 351 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:52,597 WELL, YOU LOOK SO SAD, SO... HERE. 352 00:17:52,621 --> 00:17:54,649 WHAT IS IT? 353 00:17:54,673 --> 00:17:56,590 OPEN IT. 354 00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:11,133 OH MY GOD. 355 00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:14,470 THESE ARE ALL OF OUR EMAILS. 356 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:17,323 YOU MADE OUR EMAILS INTO A BOOK? 357 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,308 YEAH. 358 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:24,796 THIS IS... SO INCREDIBLY ROMANTIC. 359 00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:28,005 AND I AM SUCH A GOOD WRITER! 360 00:18:30,325 --> 00:18:31,703 IT WAS SO CLOSE. 361 00:18:31,727 --> 00:18:33,839 I MEAN, MY REPUTATION COULD HAVE BEEN RUINED. 362 00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,725 WHAT WAS I THINKING GOING OUT WITH JEREMY IN PUBLIC ON VALENTINE'S DAY? 363 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,494 WELL, MAYBE YOU JUST ASSUMED... 364 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,829 WHEN HE SAID HE HAD TO MEET HIS GIRLFRIEND, I THINK THEY BELIEVED HIM. 365 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,816 WELL, IT WAS REALLY NICE OF HIM TO MAKE THAT UP FOR YOU. 366 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,433 YEAH, I THINK HE MADE IT UP. 367 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,870 I MEAN, THE GUY CAN'T ACTUALLY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, RIGHT? 368 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,170 I MEAN, CAN HE? 369 00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:50,372 MMM. 370 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,708 A SMART, CUTE, THOUGHTFUL GUY 371 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,728 WITH A BRIGHT FUTURE GETTING A DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL? 372 00:18:55,752 --> 00:18:57,546 I DOUBT IT. 373 00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:00,632 YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M GONNA CALL HIM AND THANK HIM FOR WHAT HE DID. 374 00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:02,167 YOU'RE GONNA CALL HIM? 375 00:19:02,191 --> 00:19:03,952 WELL, IT WAS NICE. DON'T YOU THINK IT WAS NICE? 376 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,420 I MEAN, HE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH. 377 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,839 MMM. SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU LIKE HIM. 378 00:19:07,863 --> 00:19:10,425 LIKE "LIKE HIM," LIKE HIM? 379 00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:13,512 NO. NO WAY. NO. 380 00:19:13,536 --> 00:19:15,263 MMM. WHATEVER YOU SAY. 381 00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:18,534 NO. NO WAY! 382 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,269 WELL, HAVE YOU CALLED DYLAN YET? 383 00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:24,306 WHY WOULD I CALL HIM AND RUIN MY VALENTINE'S DAY? 384 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,626 WELL, HONEY, HE'S LAID UP IN THE HOSPITAL WITH APPENDICITIS. 385 00:19:27,650 --> 00:19:29,962 HE AIN'T DOING SO GOOD RIGHT NOW. 386 00:19:29,986 --> 00:19:32,531 "WELL." 387 00:19:32,555 --> 00:19:33,716 WHAT? 388 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,872 HE AIN'T DOING SO WELL. 389 00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:44,543 - GOOD NIGHT, MOM. - GOOD NIGHT, HONEY. 390 00:19:44,567 --> 00:19:48,531 THAT WAS VERY NICE... IT WAS REAL NICE WHAT YOU DID TONIGHT. 391 00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,882 IT WAS REAL NICE WHAT YOU DID... 392 00:19:50,906 --> 00:19:52,567 REALLY NICE? 393 00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:55,309 SUPER NICE. IT WAS SUPER NICE WHAT YOU DID. 394 00:20:04,587 --> 00:20:06,164 HELLO? 395 00:20:06,188 --> 00:20:08,672 HELLO? 396 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,625 HELLO? 397 00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:20,879 GRANDPA, DON'T ANSWER THAT. 398 00:20:20,903 --> 00:20:22,419 OKAY. 399 00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:25,734 HELLO? 400 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,236 HEY, IT'S C.J. 401 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,971 ACETYLSALICYLIC ACID? 402 00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:34,147 YOU SENT ME ALL THE WAY TO CANADA FOR ASPIRIN? 403 00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:44,419 C.J., THE PAIN IN MY HIP IS STILL HERE, 404 00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:47,828 BUT NOW THE PAIN IN MY ASS IS IN CANADA! 29722

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