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1
00:00:01,685 --> 00:00:05,716
HEY, LOOK WHAT THE
VALENTINE'S DAY ELF BROUGHT YOU.
2
00:00:05,740 --> 00:00:09,269
THE BAG SAYS "CARWASH" ON IT.
3
00:00:09,293 --> 00:00:11,504
IT WAS ON THE WAY HOME.
4
00:00:11,528 --> 00:00:15,174
AUNT CATE, BE MINE.
5
00:00:15,198 --> 00:00:16,893
CAR FRESHENER.
6
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:19,178
WELL, YOU KNOW, C.J.,
NOTHING SAYS "BE MINE"
7
00:00:19,202 --> 00:00:21,431
LIKE "YOUR CAR STINKS."
8
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,933
AND BRIDGET?
9
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:28,876
A GENUINE BOBBLEHEAD DOLL
OF MR. WAYNE GRETZKY, HUH?
10
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,475
YOU'RE WELCOME.
11
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:35,395
AND WHAT DID THE ELF
GET FOR KERRY THE ELF?
12
00:00:35,419 --> 00:00:38,953
SOME WATER... FROM FRANCE.
13
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,658
SURE THEY'RE COWARDS BUT
THEY DO MAKE THE BEST WATER.
14
00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:46,490
AND RORY, I'M SORRY.
15
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,809
THERE'S NOTHING IN
THE ELF BAG FOR YOU...
16
00:00:48,833 --> 00:00:51,027
EXCEPT...
17
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,030
A POSTCARD OF TWO
GORILLAS DRINKING BEER.
18
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:58,017
IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
MUCH, BUT IT MADE ME LAUGH.
19
00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:01,037
TWO GORILLAS DRINKING
BEER MADE YOU...
20
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,823
AHA HA HA HA!
21
00:01:03,847 --> 00:01:10,485
AND FOR MY FAVORITE
GAMPY... SEA MONKEYS?
22
00:01:11,755 --> 00:01:14,640
THEY SAY PETS MAKE
OLD PEOPLE LIVE LONGER.
23
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,156
FOR EVERY ACTION,
THERE IS AN EQUAL
24
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,225
AND OPPOSITE REACTION.
25
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,626
WHEN YOU SIT IN YOUR CHAIR...
26
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,578
SO ANYWAY, I REALLY
LIKE THE HIGH-RISE THONG,
27
00:01:25,602 --> 00:01:27,930
BUT ALL THEY SEEM TO MAKE THESE
DAYS ARE THE LOW-RIDING KIND.
28
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:30,133
- THAT IS SO TRUE.
- I JUST HATE THAT...
29
00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:32,735
DO YOU KNOW, I APPRECIATE
YOUR UNDERWEAR DILEMMA,
30
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,420
BUT I'M TRYING TO
LISTEN TO THE TEACHER.
31
00:01:34,444 --> 00:01:36,439
I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TOO.
32
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,141
ANYWAY, THE LOW-RIDING
THONG DRIVES ME NUTS.
33
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,860
- I CAN'T STAND THE WAY...
- EXCUSE ME.
34
00:01:39,884 --> 00:01:42,963
- I'M TALKING.
- NONSTOP.
35
00:01:42,987 --> 00:01:45,649
JEREMY, BRIDGET,
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
36
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:46,899
- NO.
- I'M FINE.
37
00:01:46,923 --> 00:01:49,319
- SCIENCE GEEK.
- MORON.
38
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:52,572
OKAY, JEREMY AND BRIDGET
ARE GOING TO BE LAB PARTNERS.
39
00:01:52,596 --> 00:01:58,561
AND KELLY AND JENNA,
AND SCOTT AND SHARON.
40
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:00,797
GREAT. YAY!
41
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,399
NOW WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER.
42
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:05,218
YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST KEEP YOUR
MOUTH SHUT AND WE'LL BOTH GET As.
43
00:02:05,242 --> 00:02:07,320
YOU KNOW WHAT? KEEP YOUR
MOUTH SHUT AND WE'LL BOTH GET Ds.
44
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,806
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
45
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:13,009
SO DID YOU SAY YOU'RE
GETTING AN A IN THIS CLASS?
46
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,277
YEP.
47
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,362
UM, HOW ABOUT ENGLISH?
GETTING AN A IN THAT TOO?
48
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,864
"WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH."
49
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,766
NO NO, I ASKED, ARE
YOU GETTING AN A?
50
00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:23,236
NO, IT'S "WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH,"
NOT "HOW ABOUT ENGLISH."
51
00:02:23,260 --> 00:02:26,289
- I MEAN, MAYBE
IF YOU SPOKE ENGLISH.
- AND MAYBE IF YOU SPOKE...
52
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,790
REGULAR.
53
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,860
OKAY, HERE'S THE THING:
54
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,779
SEE, MY GRADES ARE
JUST A WEE BIT LOWER
55
00:02:32,803 --> 00:02:34,681
THAN THEY NEED TO BE FOR
ME TO GET INTO COLLEGE.
56
00:02:34,705 --> 00:02:36,399
- MMM, SHOCKER.
- YEAH.
57
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,534
AND MY MOM'S TOTALLY FREAKING
OUT ABOUT ME GOING TO COLLEGE
58
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,520
AS IF MY ENTIRE
FUTURE RIDES ON IT,
59
00:02:40,544 --> 00:02:42,572
BUT LOOK AT ME. YOU
KNOW I'M GONNA MARRY WELL.
60
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,357
AND OFTEN.
61
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,575
THAT IS SO SWEET.
62
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:49,062
SO YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING
63
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,281
IS MAYBE YOU COULD BE
MY LAB PARTNER IN ENGLISH
64
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,532
AND IN SCIENCE.
65
00:02:52,556 --> 00:02:54,217
DON'T YOU MEAN YOUR TUTOR?
66
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:56,202
WELL, TUTOR, LAB PARTNER...
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
67
00:02:56,226 --> 00:02:58,238
ABOUT 10 BUCKS AN HOUR.
68
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,473
COME ON, YOU GET TO BE WITH ME.
69
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:01,996
HMM... $15.
70
00:03:04,534 --> 00:03:07,547
THIS IS JUST GONNA BE THE MOST
ROMANTIC VALENTINE'S DAY EVER.
71
00:03:07,571 --> 00:03:08,982
WHY IS THAT?
72
00:03:09,006 --> 00:03:11,084
WELL, DYLAN'S GOING TO
PICK ME UP IN HIS CONVERTIBLE
73
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,702
AND SHOWER ME WITH GIFTS.
74
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,587
I JUST LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY.
75
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:18,524
IT'S TOTALLY STUPID.
76
00:03:18,548 --> 00:03:20,676
IT'S A MADE-UP
CORPORATE HOLIDAY.
77
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,595
THERE'S SO MUCH PRESSURE
TO DO SOMETHING BIG
78
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,415
BUT EVERYONE JUST WINDS UP
DOING SOMETHING MECHANICAL
79
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,250
AND ROTE AND WITH
NO FEELING AT ALL.
80
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:30,475
YEAH. AND THOSE LITTLE
HEARTS TASTE LIKE CHALK.
81
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,573
I REMEMBER IN HIGH SCHOOL
82
00:03:33,597 --> 00:03:36,409
I NEEDED A DUFFLE BAG TO
CARRY ALL THE CARDS I GOT.
83
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,578
OH, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
84
00:03:38,602 --> 00:03:40,580
SURE, I MAY NOT BE MUCH NOW
85
00:03:40,604 --> 00:03:44,083
AS A RESULT OF SOME HARD
AND, YES, QUESTIONABLE LIVING,
86
00:03:44,107 --> 00:03:46,853
BUT BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL I
WAS BUFF, YOUNG AND TAN.
87
00:03:46,877 --> 00:03:48,621
GOOD LOOKING. YEAH.
88
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,289
I WAS THE MAN.
89
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:53,898
OH, YEAH? SHOW US THE PICTURE.
LET'S SEE YOUR YEARBOOK.
90
00:03:55,719 --> 00:03:57,935
THE MAN WAS SICK ON PICTURE DAY.
91
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,370
GRANDPA, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?
92
00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:06,806
- NOTHING.
- NOTHING?
93
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:10,093
NO, THAT'S ONE OF THE GREAT THINGS
ABOUT HAVING YOUR WIFE LEAVE YOU...
94
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,295
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A
SINGLE THING ON VALENTINE'S DAY.
95
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,997
NOTHING, NADA, ZIPPO!
96
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,133
WELL, IF YOU WERE
GETTING GRAM SOMETHING...
97
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,285
OH, PLEASE, YOU
CAN'T WIN THAT ONE.
98
00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:21,804
EVERY YEAR YOU GOTTA TOP
WHAT YOU GAVE THE YEAR BEFORE.
99
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,507
YOU GIVE THEM FLOWERS? YOU
GOTTA GIVE THEM MORE FLOWERS.
100
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:27,443
AND NOT THE ONES
FROM THE YARD. NO NO.
101
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,712
NO, YOU GOTTA PAY THOSE
JACKED-UP STORE PRICES
102
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:33,466
FOR THE SAME DAMN FLOWERS
EXCEPT THEY HAVE CELLOPHANE.
103
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,768
AND DON'T GET ME
STARTED ON CANDY.
104
00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,687
DON'T WORRY. I GOT THE POINT.
105
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,471
YOU KNOW, YOU GET 'EM
A BIG BOX OF CHOCOLATES
106
00:04:39,495 --> 00:04:41,691
AND IT'S LIKE, "HEY, WHAT'D
YOU GET ME THAT FOR?
107
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,093
THEY'RE SO FATTENING."
108
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,027
YOU GET 'EM A LITTLE
BITTY BOX AND IT'S LIKE,
109
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,013
"OH, SO YOU THINK I'M FAT?"
110
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,232
NOW JEWELRY IS THE
WORST! NOW YOU...
111
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:50,936
GRAMPS, GRAMPS? I GOTTA GO.
112
00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:56,739
NO, DYLAN, YOU SHUT UP!
113
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,725
NO, YOU SHUT UP!
114
00:04:58,749 --> 00:05:00,393
DYLAN, YOU SHUT UP.
115
00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:02,812
OKAY, YOU SHUT UP.
116
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,664
OKAY, BYE.
117
00:05:04,688 --> 00:05:08,389
MY NEW BOYFRIEND SO GETS ME.
118
00:05:09,659 --> 00:05:11,804
MM-HMM.
119
00:05:11,828 --> 00:05:14,040
AHEM, ALL RIGHT, SO...
120
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:17,766
WHAT IS EURIPIDES TRYING TO SAY
ABOUT WAR IN "THE TROJAN WOMEN"?
121
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,864
YOU KNOW, WHY AM I
GETTING THE IMPRESSION
122
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,533
THAT YOU DIDN'T
EVEN READ THE PLAY?
123
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:27,091
WELL, I KIND OF GOT AS FAR AS THE
"TROJAN" AND STARTED TO GIGGLE.
124
00:05:32,215 --> 00:05:34,677
ALL RIGHT, BRIDGET, YOU
HAVE TO LISTEN, OKAY?
125
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:37,931
NOW HELEN IS THE FACE
THAT LAUNCHED 1,000 SHIPS.
126
00:05:37,955 --> 00:05:40,433
LET ME PUT IT IN YOUR WORDS:
127
00:05:40,457 --> 00:05:42,824
UM, SHE WAS, LIKE, TOTALLY HOT.
128
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,956
OH.
129
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:50,160
SO THAT'S WHY MEN
WENT TO WAR FOR HER.
130
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:52,995
WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT ACTUALLY
BRINGS UP AN INTERESTING POINT.
131
00:05:54,704 --> 00:05:56,849
DO YOU THINK THE WAR
GOT STARTED OVER A WOMAN
132
00:05:56,873 --> 00:05:59,634
OR DO YOU THINK THE GREEKS WERE
TRYING TO GET CONTROL OVER A WATERWAY?
133
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,927
CAN I USE A LIFELINE?
134
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:10,185
MOM, WHAT'S THE BEST GIFT DAD
EVERY GOT YOU FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?
135
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:15,050
WELL, YOUR DAD AND
I HAD THIS TRADITION:
136
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:18,555
HE WOULD GET ME MY
FAVORITE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE,
137
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,358
AN AMAZING BOX OF
CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES,
138
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,375
AND ONE RED ROSE.
139
00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:25,845
JUST ONE? DAD WAS CHEAP?
140
00:06:27,537 --> 00:06:32,185
NO. WELL... NO.
141
00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:34,653
IT'S JUST THAT WE
DECIDED A LONG TIME AGO
142
00:06:34,677 --> 00:06:37,339
THAT A SMALL TASTE OF
THE BEST OF SOMETHING
143
00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:40,793
WAS BETTER THAN A HUGE
AMOUNT OF SOMETHING JUST SO-SO.
144
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,580
- THAT'S REALLY ROMANTIC...
- YEAH.
145
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,986
AND CHEAP.
146
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,385
JEREMY, PLEASE DON'T GO!
147
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,304
I NEED TO STUDY.
148
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,189
BRIDGET, I HAVE MY
OWN STUDYING TO DO.
149
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:54,990
ALL RIGHT? I'M NOT
GONNA WASTE MY TIME
150
00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:58,094
WITH SOMEONE WHO USES HER CELL
PHONE LIKE IT'S PROVIDING OXYGEN.
151
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:07,103
WHAT?
152
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:11,441
BRIDGET, YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GUY IN YOUR ROOM.
153
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,092
I AM TRYING TO GET INTO COLLEGE.
154
00:07:13,116 --> 00:07:15,683
DID HE SAY HE COULD
GET YOU INTO COLLEGE?
155
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:21,133
SO WHAT ARE YOU AND KYLE
DOING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?
156
00:07:21,157 --> 00:07:23,503
OH, WE'RE GOING TO THE
MOVIES. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
157
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:26,339
YOU KNOW, KERRY, THIS IS YOUR
FIRST VALENTINE'S DAY WITH A BOYFRIEND
158
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,990
INSTEAD OF A STUFFED ANIMAL.
159
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,742
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
LIGHTEN UP AND ENJOY IT.
160
00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:32,378
IT'S TOTALLY STUPID.
IT'S A DAY THAT EXISTS
161
00:07:32,402 --> 00:07:34,797
TO POINT OUT WHO HAS
SOMEBODY AND WHO DOESN'T.
162
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,433
AND IT MAKES THE PEOPLE
WHO DON'T FEEL AWFUL.
163
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,987
OH, KERRY, IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE
NOT ONE OF THEM ANYMORE.
164
00:07:41,011 --> 00:07:43,173
THAT IS THE PAST. AND THIS YEAR
165
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,491
YOU'LL BE GETTING A VALENTINE CARD
THAT YOU DIDN'T MAIL TO YOURSELF.
166
00:07:45,515 --> 00:07:47,632
I'VE NEVER MAILED...
167
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:53,249
AND KYLE IS GOING
TO WINE AND DINE YOU
168
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,718
AND SHOWER YOU WITH PRESENTS.
AND BY THE END OF THE NIGHT
169
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,821
YOU ARE GONNA
FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS.
170
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:01,557
WELL, I GUESS FEELING
LIKE A PRINCESS JUST ONCE
171
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,342
- WOULDN'T TOTALLY SUCK.
- MMM.
172
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:08,681
IT'S DYLAN. PROBABLY WANTS TO
KNOW WHAT TO GET ME FOR VALENTINE'S.
173
00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:10,800
HI, DYL. I LIKE DARK CHOCOLATE,
174
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,719
ANYTHING GUMMY AND... WHAT?
175
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:17,439
WHAT? OH, WHATEVER.
176
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,141
BYE.
177
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,811
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
HE JUST HAD TO CANCEL.
178
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,031
- WHY?
- SOMETHING ABOUT
APPENDICITIS.
179
00:08:25,055 --> 00:08:26,900
APPENDICITIS? THAT'S AWFUL.
180
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:30,658
YEAH, AND ON VALENTINE'S DAY!
WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN TO ME?
181
00:08:31,895 --> 00:08:34,724
KERRY, I LIVE FOR
VALENTINE'S DAY.
182
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:38,928
I MEAN, IT'S A DAY SET
ASIDE FOR BEAUTIFUL GIRLS.
183
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:42,414
SO YOU DON'T THINK THAT
UNATTRACTIVE PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE?
184
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,872
OH, KERRY, THAT'S NOT
LOVE; THAT'S COMPANY.
185
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,625
HI, GRANDPA.
186
00:08:52,649 --> 00:08:55,350
DID YOU NAME YOUR
SEA MONKEYS YET?
187
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:59,598
C.J., WOULD YOU COME
OVER HERE FOR A MINUTE?
188
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,055
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
189
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,976
WHERE'S THE CANE?
190
00:09:07,097 --> 00:09:08,796
THROW IT OVER THERE.
191
00:09:15,505 --> 00:09:19,235
YOU KNOW, C.J., IT
REALLY HURTS MY FEELINGS
192
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,503
WHEN YOU MAKE JOKES
ABOUT ME BEING OLD.
193
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,389
REALLY?
194
00:09:23,413 --> 00:09:26,109
GRANDPA, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
195
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,510
I THINK I NEED TO DRINK
SOMETHING TO FEEL BETTER.
196
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:32,665
OR... OR YOU COULD
DO ME A LITTLE FAVOR.
197
00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:33,799
SURE. WHAT DO YOU NEED?
198
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,101
WELL, I WANT YOU TO
BUY ME SOME DRUGS.
199
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:38,955
IS THIS A STING?
200
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:42,875
NO NO, IT'S
MEDICATION FOR MY HIP.
201
00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:45,227
OH. COOL, RIGHT. OKAY.
202
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,331
WHY DON'T YOU GET A PEN AND IF
YOU COULD WRITE IT DOWN ON A...
203
00:09:49,406 --> 00:09:51,333
PIECE OF PAPER.
204
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:54,409
"ACETYLSALICYLIC ACID"?
205
00:09:55,978 --> 00:09:58,724
- ALL RIGHT, I'M ON IT.
- HEY, THANK YOU, SON.
206
00:09:58,748 --> 00:10:01,844
THE THING OF IT IS IT'S
ON BACK ORDER RIGHT NOW
207
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,513
AND THE ONLY PLACE
YOU CAN GET IT IS CANADA.
208
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:07,050
WHAT?
209
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,736
DUDE, I'M NOT GOING
TO CANADA FOR YOU
210
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,821
ON VALENTINE'S DAY.
211
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,956
I'LL NEVER MAKE IT BACK
IN TIME FOR LAST CALL
212
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,364
AND THAT'S WHEN I
GET GOOD LOOKING.
213
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,222
ALL RIGHT, OLD YELLER, I'LL GO.
214
00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:27,820
I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I CAN.
215
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,277
THANK YOU, SON.
216
00:10:30,413 --> 00:10:32,163
WHAT A TOOL.
217
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,275
- HEY, HONEY.
- HEY, MOM.
218
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,775
OH... OH MY GOD.
219
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:52,678
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS.
220
00:10:52,702 --> 00:10:56,048
- WELL, I...
- RORY, THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING
221
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,568
ANYONE HAS EVER DONE FOR ME.
222
00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:00,503
HONEY, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
223
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:05,108
THANK YOU, REALLY. FROM
THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
224
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,415
OH, RORY!
225
00:11:14,291 --> 00:11:16,574
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MOM.
226
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:26,345
HEY, ROR.
227
00:11:26,369 --> 00:11:27,863
HEY, MISSY.
228
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:29,198
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
229
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,806
WOW. THIS IS SO COOL.
230
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,679
I HAVE TO TELL YOU, KERRY,
231
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,998
THIS IS THE BEST
VALENTINE'S DAY EVER.
232
00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:48,851
THAT IS SO SWEET.
233
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,920
SO DO YOU WANT TO
EXCHANGE GIFTS NOW
234
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,672
OR DO YOU WANT
TO WAIT FOR LATER?
235
00:11:52,696 --> 00:11:55,508
HA! GOOD ONE.
236
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:57,643
THANKS.
237
00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:59,678
YOU KNOW AND TO THINK, LAST YEAR
238
00:11:59,702 --> 00:12:01,897
I BOUGHT YOUR
SISTER ALL THAT STUFF.
239
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:04,722
I MEAN, I AM SAVING,
LIKE, SO MUCH MONEY.
240
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,789
SO WHAT MOVIE DO
YOU WANT TO SEE?
241
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:13,642
THERE'S THE LOVEY-DOVEY
SANDRA BULLOCK MOVIE.
242
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:17,196
YEAH, I WOULD HAVE DEFINITELY GOT
STUCK SEEING THAT ONE LAST YEAR.
243
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,048
BUT NOT THIS YEAR.
244
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,617
I LOVE GOING OUT WITH YOU.
245
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:24,837
YEAH, I LOVE GOING
OUT WITH YOU TOO.
246
00:12:24,861 --> 00:12:28,140
"NIGHT OF THE GORY
DEAD CORPSES."
247
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,663
ONE, PLEASE.
248
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,868
YOU KNOW, AT FIRST I THOUGHT
THE PLAY WAS REALLY ROMANTIC,
249
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,636
BUT THEN THE END IS SO SAD.
250
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:44,073
IT'S LIKE EURIPIDES
IS SAYING WAR IS BAD.
251
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,507
WOW.
252
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,509
YOU ACTUALLY
UNDERSTAND THE PLAY.
253
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:50,012
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT
AS DUMB AS YOU LOOK.
254
00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:51,697
THANK YOU.
255
00:12:51,721 --> 00:12:54,733
AND YOU'RE NOT AS
DULL AS YOU LOOK.
256
00:12:54,757 --> 00:12:57,987
WELL, LOOK AT YOU: A
GRAMMATICALLY-CORRECT INSULT.
257
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,289
- SHUT UP.
- YOU SHUT UP!
258
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,125
- NO, YOU SHUT UP.
- NO, YOU SHUT UP.
259
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:05,344
HELLO, BRIDGET, JEREMY.
260
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,396
HEY, JENNA.
261
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:11,122
WELL, I'M GONNA GO FIND OUR WAITRESS;
SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH OUR SHAKES.
262
00:13:12,509 --> 00:13:16,472
WELL, DON'T YOU TWO
MAKE A CUTE COUPLE?
263
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,391
OH, ME AND JEREMY?
264
00:13:18,415 --> 00:13:20,860
NO NO, YOU DON'T THINK WE'RE
TOGETHER-TOGETHER. HE'S MY TUTOR.
265
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,028
OH, REALLY? WHAT'S
HE TUTORING YOU IN?
266
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,963
LOVE?
267
00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:27,750
WE WERE STUDYING AT MY HOUSE
AND WANTED TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.
268
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:30,102
I'M TOTALLY GOING OUT WITH
DYLAN WHO'S GOT APPENDICITIS.
269
00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:31,520
YEAH, RIGHT, BRIDGE.
270
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,222
I AM. HE WAS GONNA
TAKE ME OUT ANYWAY,
271
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,358
BUT I WAS LIKE, "DYLAN, YOU
CAN'T DRIVE YOUR CONVERTIBLE
272
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,693
WITH YOUR GUTS HANGING OUT."
CALL THE HOSPITAL. HE'S THERE.
273
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,228
I'M JUST TEASING.
274
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,547
I PROMISE I WON'T TELL
ANYONE YOU'RE HERE. OKAY?
275
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:45,356
OKAY. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
276
00:13:48,144 --> 00:13:50,856
WELL, OUR SHAKES ARE COMING...
277
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,247
SOMETHING ABOUT THE
MACHINE BEING BROKEN.
278
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,529
THAT TWO-FACED LIAR.
279
00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:59,098
NO, I THINK SHE WAS
TELLING THE TRUTH.
280
00:13:59,122 --> 00:14:00,799
THE MANAGER'S BACK
THERE WORKING ON IT.
281
00:14:00,823 --> 00:14:03,302
SO WHERE WERE WE?
282
00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:05,587
OH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU WERE
PRETENDING NEVER TO HAVE NOTICED ME.
283
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:07,256
WHAT?
284
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,792
CAN WE JUST STICK TO THE STUFF
THAT'S GONNA BE ON THE TEST?
285
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:12,010
WHY? YOU KNOW THE MATERIAL
BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS.
286
00:14:12,034 --> 00:14:14,012
YOU CAN GO BACK TO TELLING
ME TO SHUT UP AND STUFF.
287
00:14:14,036 --> 00:14:15,915
- OKAY, SHUT UP.
- NO, YOU SHUT UP.
288
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,716
DO YOU HAVE TO TALK SO LOUD?
289
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:20,091
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
290
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,444
OH, I GET IT.
291
00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:31,564
YOU DO?
292
00:14:31,588 --> 00:14:34,667
YEAH. YEAH, IT'S PRETTY CLEAR.
293
00:14:34,691 --> 00:14:37,953
WELL, I GOTTA GO.
294
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,955
MY GIRLFRIEND'S WAITING
295
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:42,408
AND MARCHING-BAND
PRACTICE JUST GOT OUT.
296
00:14:42,432 --> 00:14:46,501
I GOTTA GO MEET HER. WE'RE GONNA
GO SHOPPING FOR XYLOPHONES.
297
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,017
- THANK YOU.
- YEAH.
298
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:54,322
SO IF YOU JUST WANT TO
PAY ME, I'LL GET OUT OF HERE.
299
00:14:57,264 --> 00:15:00,048
DOUBLE. IT'S A HOLIDAY.
300
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,520
HERE. THESE ARE FOR YOU.
301
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,573
OH, RORY, THIS IS SO SWEET.
302
00:15:14,597 --> 00:15:17,777
AREN'T THESE THE SILK
FLOWERS FROM THE BATHROOM?
303
00:15:17,801 --> 00:15:22,653
UH... WOMEN.
304
00:15:25,108 --> 00:15:27,119
RORY!
305
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,271
WAIT HERE ONE SEC.
306
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:29,772
OKAY.
307
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,858
UM, HONEY, ABOUT THESE GIFTS...
308
00:15:32,882 --> 00:15:34,877
YOU KNOW, THE CIDER
AND CHOCOLATE...
309
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,929
I REALIZED I MADE A MISTAKE.
310
00:15:36,953 --> 00:15:38,931
MAKE SURE THEY GET TO
THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNER.
311
00:15:38,955 --> 00:15:41,500
NO, MOM, THEY'RE
FOR YOU. YOU KEEP 'EM.
312
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:45,720
UM, HONEY, THOSE SILK
FLOWERS FROM THE BATHROOM,
313
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:47,845
THEY'RE REALLY EXPENSIVE.
314
00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:52,984
GET 'EM BACK.
315
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,818
HERE, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
316
00:15:59,842 --> 00:16:03,506
OH, RORY, THIS IS SO ROMANTIC.
317
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,275
THANK YOU. SHOULD I
GET US TWO GLASSES?
318
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,027
OKAY.
319
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,546
HEY, THIS IS USED CHOCOLATE!
320
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,798
WHAT?
321
00:16:12,822 --> 00:16:15,150
YEAH, SOMEONE ATE
LIKE HALF THE BOX!
322
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:17,341
SORRY.
323
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,277
ISN'T A SMALL AMOUNT OF
SOMETHING REALLY GOOD
324
00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:28,581
BETTER THAN A WHOLE LOT OF
SOMETHING THAT'S ONLY SO-SO?
325
00:16:28,605 --> 00:16:32,167
SOUNDS LIKE A FANCY
WAY OF SAYING "CHEAP."
326
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:35,543
- BUT I... LET ME...
- I'LL JUST SEE YOU MONDAY.
327
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,667
I TOLD YOU.
328
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:50,986
LOOK AT THE BOUQUET
THAT GIRL HAS.
329
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,689
THEY'RE SO GIGANTIC
SHE CAN BARELY WALK.
330
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:57,175
YEAH. FOOL PROBABLY
SPENT LIKE 50 BUCKS ON THAT.
331
00:16:57,199 --> 00:17:00,012
I DON'T NECESSARILY
THINK HE'S A FOOL.
332
00:17:00,036 --> 00:17:01,747
DUMB CORPORATE HOLIDAY.
333
00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:04,750
- FLOWER FOR THE PRETTY LADY.
- NO THANK YOU.
334
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,752
GOD, KYLE!
335
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,387
WHAT'S WRONG?
336
00:17:08,411 --> 00:17:10,239
WHAT'S WRONG?
337
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,357
IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY.
338
00:17:12,381 --> 00:17:14,994
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, PEOPLE
ARE BEING SHOWERED WITH GIFTS
339
00:17:15,018 --> 00:17:17,862
AND HAVING THE BEST, MOST
ROMANTIC NIGHT OF THEIR LIVES,
340
00:17:17,886 --> 00:17:20,182
AND YOU MAKE ME BUY
MY OWN TICKET TO A MOVIE
341
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,406
WHERE PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE
ARE LITERALLY VOMITING.
342
00:17:24,226 --> 00:17:26,788
YOU SAID YOU HATED
VALENTINE'S DAY.
343
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,891
I KNOW. I DO.
344
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:33,612
THEN STUPID BRIDGET GOT
ME ALL EXCITED ABOUT IT.
345
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,698
NEVER MIND. JUST TAKE ME HOME.
346
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,265
WHAT? NO.
347
00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:39,635
NO. LOOK, OKAY?
348
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:42,320
I WASN'T GONNA GIVE YOU
THIS UNTIL AFTER MIDNIGHT
349
00:17:42,344 --> 00:17:45,107
BECAUSE THEN IT WOULDN'T
BE VALENTINE'S DAY ANYMORE,
350
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:48,165
BUT YOUR OWN SPECIAL DAY.
351
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:52,597
WELL, YOU LOOK
SO SAD, SO... HERE.
352
00:17:52,621 --> 00:17:54,649
WHAT IS IT?
353
00:17:54,673 --> 00:17:56,590
OPEN IT.
354
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:11,133
OH MY GOD.
355
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:14,470
THESE ARE ALL OF OUR EMAILS.
356
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:17,323
YOU MADE OUR EMAILS INTO A BOOK?
357
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,308
YEAH.
358
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:24,796
THIS IS... SO
INCREDIBLY ROMANTIC.
359
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:28,005
AND I AM SUCH A GOOD WRITER!
360
00:18:30,325 --> 00:18:31,703
IT WAS SO CLOSE.
361
00:18:31,727 --> 00:18:33,839
I MEAN, MY REPUTATION
COULD HAVE BEEN RUINED.
362
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,725
WHAT WAS I THINKING GOING OUT WITH
JEREMY IN PUBLIC ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
363
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,494
WELL, MAYBE YOU JUST ASSUMED...
364
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,829
WHEN HE SAID HE HAD TO MEET HIS
GIRLFRIEND, I THINK THEY BELIEVED HIM.
365
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,816
WELL, IT WAS REALLY NICE OF
HIM TO MAKE THAT UP FOR YOU.
366
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,433
YEAH, I THINK HE MADE IT UP.
367
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,870
I MEAN, THE GUY CAN'T ACTUALLY
HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, RIGHT?
368
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,170
I MEAN, CAN HE?
369
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:50,372
MMM.
370
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,708
A SMART, CUTE, THOUGHTFUL GUY
371
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,728
WITH A BRIGHT FUTURE
GETTING A DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL?
372
00:18:55,752 --> 00:18:57,546
I DOUBT IT.
373
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:00,632
YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M GONNA CALL
HIM AND THANK HIM FOR WHAT HE DID.
374
00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:02,167
YOU'RE GONNA CALL HIM?
375
00:19:02,191 --> 00:19:03,952
WELL, IT WAS NICE. DON'T
YOU THINK IT WAS NICE?
376
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,420
I MEAN, HE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH.
377
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,839
MMM. SOUNDS TO
ME LIKE YOU LIKE HIM.
378
00:19:07,863 --> 00:19:10,425
LIKE "LIKE HIM," LIKE HIM?
379
00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:13,512
NO. NO WAY. NO.
380
00:19:13,536 --> 00:19:15,263
MMM. WHATEVER YOU SAY.
381
00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:18,534
NO. NO WAY!
382
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,269
WELL, HAVE YOU CALLED DYLAN YET?
383
00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:24,306
WHY WOULD I CALL HIM AND
RUIN MY VALENTINE'S DAY?
384
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,626
WELL, HONEY, HE'S LAID UP IN
THE HOSPITAL WITH APPENDICITIS.
385
00:19:27,650 --> 00:19:29,962
HE AIN'T DOING SO
GOOD RIGHT NOW.
386
00:19:29,986 --> 00:19:32,531
"WELL."
387
00:19:32,555 --> 00:19:33,716
WHAT?
388
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,872
HE AIN'T DOING SO WELL.
389
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:44,543
- GOOD NIGHT, MOM.
- GOOD NIGHT, HONEY.
390
00:19:44,567 --> 00:19:48,531
THAT WAS VERY NICE... IT WAS
REAL NICE WHAT YOU DID TONIGHT.
391
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,882
IT WAS REAL NICE WHAT YOU DID...
392
00:19:50,906 --> 00:19:52,567
REALLY NICE?
393
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:55,309
SUPER NICE. IT WAS
SUPER NICE WHAT YOU DID.
394
00:20:04,587 --> 00:20:06,164
HELLO?
395
00:20:06,188 --> 00:20:08,672
HELLO?
396
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,625
HELLO?
397
00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:20,879
GRANDPA, DON'T ANSWER THAT.
398
00:20:20,903 --> 00:20:22,419
OKAY.
399
00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:25,734
HELLO?
400
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,236
HEY, IT'S C.J.
401
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,971
ACETYLSALICYLIC ACID?
402
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:34,147
YOU SENT ME ALL THE WAY
TO CANADA FOR ASPIRIN?
403
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:44,419
C.J., THE PAIN IN
MY HIP IS STILL HERE,
404
00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:47,828
BUT NOW THE PAIN IN
MY ASS IS IN CANADA!
29722
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