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1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,731
MOM, CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE ME
DRIVING? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?
2
00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:06,349
NO, HONEY. I'M MAKING DINNER.
3
00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:08,334
- BUT YOU PROMISED.
- I LIED.
4
00:00:08,358 --> 00:00:10,420
WELCOME TO LIFE.
5
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:14,090
LOOK, KERRY, COULD YOU JUST LET YOUR
DRIVING OBSESSION GO FOR TWO MINUTES?
6
00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:15,908
YOUR COUSIN C.J. WILL
BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
7
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:19,128
Bridget: EW!
8
00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:21,398
ALL RIGHT, EXCUSE ME.
9
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,616
IF THERE'S ANYTHING WE
HAVE LEARNED THIS YEAR,
10
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,769
IT'S THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY.
11
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,772
- AND C.J. IS FAMILY.
- EW!
12
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,326
- STOP IT!
- WHY SHOULD WE CARE
ABOUT SEEING HIM?
13
00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:35,828
WHEN WE WERE KIDS,
HE WAS A BIG, HUGE BULLY.
14
00:00:35,852 --> 00:00:37,580
HE STOLE MY ARMY MEN.
15
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,566
YEAH, AND HE TOOK MY
DEBBIE DOLL TO "ENTERTAIN"
16
00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:42,585
RORY'S ARMY MEN WHILE
THEY WERE ON LEAVE.
17
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:44,771
THEY HE BLEW 'EM
ALL UP WITH M-80s.
18
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,190
THE BOY IS A BAD EGG, CATE.
19
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,275
WHAT'S YOUR
PROBLEM WITH HIM, DAD?
20
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,094
I LOANED HIM MONEY FOR
HIS COLLEGE EDUCATION.
21
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,830
I DIDN'T KNOW C.J.
WENT TO COLLEGE.
22
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,082
HE DIDN'T.
23
00:00:56,106 --> 00:00:58,502
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S HIM.
24
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:01,621
NOW ATTITUDE
ADJUSTMENT, EVERYBODY.
25
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:03,790
C.J. IS MY SISTER'S SON.
26
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,942
SO THAT'S WHY WE
HAVE TO LIKE HIM?
27
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,667
NO, THAT'S WHY WE HAVE
TO FEEL SORRY FOR HIM.
28
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:11,998
I KNOW HE WASN'T THE BEST KID,
29
00:01:12,022 --> 00:01:14,007
BUT PEOPLE CHANGE.
AND HE'S BEEN IN THE ARMY.
30
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:16,775
I'M SURE HE'S GROWN UP A LOT.
31
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:20,623
- AUNT CATE!
- C.J.!
32
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,397
WHOO!
33
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:29,615
THIS IS IT? THIS IS
AS BIG AS WE GET?
34
00:01:29,639 --> 00:01:31,651
HEY, EVERYBODY,
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
35
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:34,871
YEAH YEAH, IT'S REALLY GREAT TO
SEE YOU TOO. CAN YOU TAKE ME DRIVING?
36
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,523
KERRY.
37
00:01:36,547 --> 00:01:39,142
IS THAT MY GRANDPA?
38
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,195
HA HA! IS THAT PAPA?
39
00:01:42,219 --> 00:01:44,336
GAGA, IT'S ME!
40
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:48,284
PLEASE, DON'T GET UP.
41
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,554
HOW'S THAT COLLEGE
DEGREE COMING?
42
00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:53,690
IT'S A FUNNY STORY. I DIDN'T GO.
43
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,892
BUT I AM PAYING YOU BACK.
44
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,127
IN FACT, HERE'S A
LITTLE DOWN PAYMENT.
45
00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:01,898
IT'S NOT DOPE MONEY, IS
IT? I DON'T TAKE DOPE MONEY.
46
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:04,584
- DAD. C.J., JUST MAKE
YOURSELF AT HOME.
- THANK YOU.
47
00:02:04,608 --> 00:02:06,536
I'M GONNA GO CHECK ON DINNER.
48
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,756
DON'T WORRY, GRANDPA, I'VE DONE
QUITE WELL SINCE I LEFT THE SERVICE.
49
00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:14,394
JOINED THE CARNIVAL,
RAN THE TILT-A-WHIRL.
50
00:02:14,418 --> 00:02:15,811
THE TILT-A-WHIRL?
51
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:17,647
OH, YEAH, IT TILTS, IT
WHIRLS, IT DOES IT ALL.
52
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:20,772
STRAP IN, WATCH 'EM HEAVE.
HERE WE GO, PEOPLE, LET'S PARTY!
53
00:02:24,261 --> 00:02:25,538
WHY THE STINK EYE?
54
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,691
YOU BLEW UP OUR TOYS.
55
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,800
WAR IS HELL, TINY. BUTCH UP.
56
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:38,351
"$1,000 OR A BIG SCREEN TV
57
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,303
OR A LAS VEGAS GETAWAY
58
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:43,406
IF YOU ATTEND ONE
TIMESHARE SEMINAR."
59
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,392
YEAH, I GUESS YOU GOT TO, UH...
60
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:49,011
CHECK OUT THAT TIMESHARE
AND BUY A CONDO...
61
00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:51,664
BY TOMORROW.
62
00:02:51,688 --> 00:02:55,401
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, COME
ON, LET'S SIT DOWN FOR DINNER.
63
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,103
I THINK I'LL PASS.
64
00:02:57,127 --> 00:03:01,741
BRIDGET, WELL, YOU
ARE REALLY REALLY...
65
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:04,294
RELATED TO YOU.
66
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:08,114
RIGHT, GOT ANY
FRIENDS WHO AREN'T?
67
00:03:08,138 --> 00:03:11,489
- CAN YOU TAKE ME DRIVING?
- NICE TRY, RAGGEDY ANN. NO, THANKS.
68
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,258
SO, C.J., YOU'RE REALLY
HERE 'CAUSE OF OUR DAD?
69
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,460
OH, YEAH, I LOVED UNCLE PAUL.
70
00:03:20,484 --> 00:03:22,862
YOU KNOW, HE WAS THE ONE WHO
DROVE ME TO THE RECRUITMENT CENTER.
71
00:03:22,886 --> 00:03:25,882
HE SAID, "JOIN THE ARMY. IT'LL MAKE A
MAN OUT OF YOU. IT WORKED FOR ME."
72
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,884
DAD WAS NEVER IN THE SERVICE.
73
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,275
YEAH... WAIT, WHAT?
74
00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:34,696
AUNT CATE, DO YOU
MIND IF I SAY GRACE?
75
00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,695
WELL, MY KIDS DON'T
USUALLY DO THAT,
76
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,731
BUT YEAH, THAT'D
BE A NICE CHANGE.
77
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:44,740
IT'S NICE WHEN PEOPLE
CHANGE, ISN'T IT?
78
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,859
EVERYBODY.
79
00:03:49,179 --> 00:03:51,240
DEAR LORD, THANK
YOU FOR THE FOOD
80
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:54,210
WE'RE ABOUT TO RECEIVE,
AND THANK YOU FOR...
81
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,646
I GOT TO TAKE THIS.
82
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,882
WHAT'S UP?
83
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,917
YOU DID NOT!
84
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,352
OH, MY GOODNESS.
85
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,926
AMEN.
86
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:12,078
IT LOOKS LIKE C.J. LEFT
WITHOUT KISSING ME GOODBYE.
87
00:04:12,102 --> 00:04:15,448
OH, COME ON, CATE. I'M
CRYING ON THE INSIDE.
88
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:17,867
IN A SECOND YOU'LL BE
CRYING ON THE OUTSIDE.
89
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,752
HE SPENT THE NIGHT IN HIS VAN.
90
00:04:19,776 --> 00:04:22,105
OKAY, EVERYONE,
I NEED YOUR HELP.
91
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,841
- IT IS CANDID PICTURE
WEEK AT SCHOOL.
- WHAT'S THAT?
92
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,493
IT'S WHEN THE YEARBOOK STAFF TAKES
YOUR PICTURE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.
93
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,378
THEY GIVE ME ADVANCE
NOTICE EVERY YEAR.
94
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:31,514
KERRY, YOU MIGHT WANNA
RUN A BRUSH THROUGH THAT.
95
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:34,034
SO I NEED HELP CHOOSING
MY CANDID POSES.
96
00:04:34,058 --> 00:04:36,352
MAYBE TOMORROW WE CAN
NARROW DOWN COLLEGES.
97
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,838
MOM, LET'S BE SERIOUS FOR,
LIKE, TWO SECONDS, OKAY?
98
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,862
ALL RIGHT, SO HERE IS ME
CHATTING WITH FRIENDS.
99
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:45,099
HERE IS ME STUDYING
FOR A TEST FOR FINALS.
100
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,953
AND HERE'S ME JUST BEING ME.
101
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,536
AND NOW DO YOU LOOKING MINDLESS.
102
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,472
- WHAT?
- YOU NAILED IT.
103
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:59,092
OH, IT'S COLD OUT THERE.
104
00:04:59,116 --> 00:05:02,145
YOU MIND IF I PLUG THIS IN AND BORROW
SOME ELECTRICITY FOR A LITTLE SPACE HEATER?
105
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,829
NO, HELP YOURSELF.
106
00:05:03,853 --> 00:05:05,815
CAN I BORROW A
LITTLE SPACE HEATER?
107
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,401
WHY DIDN'T YOU COME
IN THE HOUSE LAST NIGHT?
108
00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:11,203
- SOMEBODY LOCKED THE DEADBOLT.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
109
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,327
YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T
YOU GUYS CATCH UP
110
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,783
WHILE I MAKE BREAKFAST?
111
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:24,984
WELL, C.J., WHEN ARE
YOU GONNA BE LEAVING?
112
00:05:25,008 --> 00:05:28,821
- DAD.
- NO, WHAT I MEANT WAS,
113
00:05:28,845 --> 00:05:31,965
HOW LONG IS IT GONNA BE BEFORE
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE HERE ANYMORE?
114
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:36,178
YOU LEFT IN A HURRY LAST NIGHT.
WHAT WAS THE BIG EMERGENCY?
115
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:38,664
I HAPPENED TO SCORE
THE LAST TWO TICKETS
116
00:05:38,688 --> 00:05:40,933
FOR THE AEROSMITH
CONCERT THIS WEEKEND.
117
00:05:40,957 --> 00:05:43,118
YOU WALKED OUT ON KATE'S DINNER
118
00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:45,438
TO GET A COUPLE OF TICKETS
TO A ROCK AND ROLL SHOW?
119
00:05:45,462 --> 00:05:48,747
I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED, BUT I
ONLY GOT TWO TICKETS, ALL RIGHT?
120
00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:52,762
MOM, I'M NOT FEELING WELL.
121
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,347
I'M NOT GONNA GO TO SCHOOL.
122
00:05:54,371 --> 00:05:56,348
OH, HONEY, YOU ALL RIGHT?
123
00:05:56,372 --> 00:05:58,868
YOU KNOW, THERE'S A
STOMACH THING GOING AROUND.
124
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,827
YEAH, OH, MY STOMACH.
125
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,692
I'LL JUST HAVE MY
EGGS IN MY ROOM.
126
00:06:06,716 --> 00:06:09,262
WHERE'S THE TABASCO?
127
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,964
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S GOING ON?
128
00:06:10,988 --> 00:06:14,366
NOTHING I CAN TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
129
00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:16,903
RORY.
130
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,124
HE'S GOT THAT LOOK AGAIN.
131
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,392
HE NEEDS A GUY TO TALK TO.
132
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,400
ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO.
133
00:06:27,337 --> 00:06:30,616
HE NEEDS A GUY TO TALK TO TODAY.
134
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:34,042
- DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU SEE THAT?
- I KNOW, DAD.
135
00:06:38,949 --> 00:06:40,999
- HEY, MAN.
- HEY.
136
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,149
I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE
DONE WITH THE PLACE.
137
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,401
LET ME GUESS... GIRLIE MAGS
BEHIND THE HEADBOARD?
138
00:06:49,425 --> 00:06:50,687
NO.
139
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,527
YES.
140
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,526
LISTEN, I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE
141
00:06:56,550 --> 00:07:00,162
SINCE THE WHOLE ARMY MEN...
142
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:02,331
BUT IF YOU EVER WANNA TALK.
143
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:05,918
THERE'S THIS GIRL MISSY WHO'S GOT THESE
EYES THAT MAKE ME FORGET HOW TO WALK.
144
00:07:05,942 --> 00:07:07,082
AND WHEN I'M AROUND HER...
145
00:07:07,106 --> 00:07:09,102
EASY, MARY, LET'S SKIP
THE WALKS ON THE BEACH.
146
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:13,325
KEEP IT SURFACEY. OKAY,
SHE'S HOT, I GET IT. CONTINUE.
147
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:14,661
SHE'S GOT THE PRETTIEST EYES...
148
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:17,129
UH-UH... STEADY.
149
00:07:17,153 --> 00:07:19,498
AFTER WE GOT DONE
STUDYING LAST NIGHT,
150
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,218
WE WERE SAYING GOODBYE
ON HER FRONT PORCH
151
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,721
AND I THINK SHE MIGHT
HAVE WANTED ME TO KISS HER,
152
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,639
AND I CHOKED. I SUCK.
153
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:29,475
DUDE, YOU EVER TRY TO KISS A GIRL AND
SHE WHIPS HER HEAD BACK REAL QUICK?
154
00:07:29,499 --> 00:07:32,812
THAT IS THE WORST. IT'S
HAPPENED TO ME, LIKE, 5,000 TIMES.
155
00:07:32,836 --> 00:07:35,397
THEY WOULD RATHER CRACK THEIR HEAD
AGAINST THE CEMENT WALL BEHIND THEM
156
00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:37,133
THAN HAVE YOUR
GROSS LIPS TOUCH...
157
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,858
OKAY, MARY, MY STORY.
158
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:44,724
SEE, I'VE KISSED GIRLS BEFORE.
159
00:07:44,748 --> 00:07:48,194
I'VE JUST NEVER
KISSED A GIRL THAT WAY.
160
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:53,716
YOU KNOW, WITH THE... DUDE.
161
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:57,170
DON'T... DON'T DO THAT.
162
00:07:57,194 --> 00:07:59,188
THERE'S THIS DANCE COMING UP.
163
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:02,024
I FIGURE AT SOME POINT, I
MIGHT HAVE TO, YOU KNOW...
164
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:05,211
DUDE, WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
165
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,931
KEEP THE TONGUE IN
OR I WALK, ALL RIGHT?
166
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:12,118
IT'S JUST, I DON'T
WANNA DO IT WRONG.
167
00:08:12,142 --> 00:08:14,137
IT'S A LOT OF PRESSURE.
168
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,772
C.J., YOU'VE GONE OUT
WITH A LOT OF GIRLS, RIGHT?
169
00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:19,275
OH, YEAH, LOTS...
170
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:23,195
CARNY GROUPIES, CARNY
GROUPIE WANNABES.
171
00:08:23,219 --> 00:08:25,214
YOU KNOW, KISSING'S
LIKE ANYTHING ELSE.
172
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,900
IF YOU WANNA GET GOOD, YOU GOTTA
PRACTICE. LOTS AND LOTS OF PRACTICE.
173
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,852
YOU'RE PRETTY SMART, C.J.
174
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:33,122
WELL, YOU KNOW, THEY DON'T
LET JUST ANYONE IN THE ARMY.
175
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,480
REALLY? I HEARD THEY DID.
176
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,378
WHAT?
177
00:08:39,402 --> 00:08:41,497
JEEZ, BRIDGET, WHAT IS IT?
178
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,916
YOU FINALLY REALIZE IT'S
ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE?
179
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,951
MY GOD, I KNEW IT.
180
00:08:45,975 --> 00:08:48,354
THERE IS A HUGE VOLCANIC GROWTH
BREWING AT THE END OF MY NOSE
181
00:08:48,378 --> 00:08:51,040
JUST SEVEN HOURS BEFORE
MY CANDID PICTURE DAY BEGINS!
182
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:54,944
JUST COVER IT...
WITH A SKI MASK.
183
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,163
NO, I NEED MEDICINE. WE
HAVE TO GO TO THE DRUGSTORE.
184
00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:59,966
SOMETIMES YOU CAN OUTSMART
THEM WITH A PREEMPTIVE STRIKE.
185
00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:02,668
- WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR?
- 'CAUSE IT'S DARK
AND I'M SCARED.
186
00:09:02,692 --> 00:09:05,504
AND I NEED YOU TO BUY IT, BECAUSE I
CAN'T BE SEEN GETTING ZIT MEDICINE.
187
00:09:05,528 --> 00:09:07,073
SO LET'S GO, COME ON.
188
00:09:07,097 --> 00:09:09,380
- NO. NO.
- PLEASE. PLEASE!
189
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:13,379
OKAY, I WILL GO WITH YOU ON
ONE CONDITION: I GET TO DRIVE.
190
00:09:13,403 --> 00:09:17,250
NO NO, YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR
LEARNER'S PERMIT. IT'S TOO RISKY, NO.
191
00:09:17,274 --> 00:09:19,619
YEAH, SO IS BEING PHOTOGRAPHED
LOOKING LIKE A DALMATIAN.
192
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,275
I TOLD YOU, YOU HIT A POLE.
193
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,260
I LOOKED. I SWEAR I
DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.
194
00:09:28,284 --> 00:09:30,329
'CAUSE IT WAS DARK. I CAN'T
BELIEVE I LET YOU DRIVE.
195
00:09:30,353 --> 00:09:33,299
- MOM IS GONNA KILL US.
- LADIES.
196
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,184
- HI.
- HELLO.
197
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:38,568
YOU KNOW, YOUR MOM WILL NEVER NOTICE
THAT DENT IF YOU STAND THAT WAY FOREVER.
198
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:44,732
WHOA! NO, YOU DIDN'T.
199
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,433
PAINT SCRAPE, DIFFERENT
COLOR, NERVOUS TEENS.
200
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:53,152
OBVIOUSLY, YOU DID THIS
SNEAKING OUT LAST NIGHT.
201
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:56,288
BRIDGET, HE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
202
00:09:56,312 --> 00:09:59,758
- YOU DROVE. YOU LET HER.
- PROVE IT.
203
00:09:59,782 --> 00:10:02,328
SEAT'S WAY UP, MIRROR'S
WAY DOWN, BEEN THERE.
204
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,947
I'M SO IMPRESSED, MR. CARNY MAN.
205
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:06,983
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
NEXT, GUESS MY WEIGHT?
206
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,818
101.
207
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:12,822
WHY WHY WHY?
208
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,429
WHAT COULD IT BE?
209
00:10:15,999 --> 00:10:21,047
AHHH... HELLO, MY
LITTLE RED FRIEND.
210
00:10:21,071 --> 00:10:23,682
WOW, OKAY.
211
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,602
IT'S NIGHT, TEENAGE
GIRL FINDS A ZIT,
212
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,771
AND A DOOZY AT THAT.
213
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,773
MOM WON'T LET YOU OUT THIS LATE,
214
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,375
SO IT'S MIDNIGHT RUN TIME
FOR A LITTLE BENZOYL PEROXIDE.
215
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,311
KERRY, YOU GET TO DRIVE,
216
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,830
BUT YOU HAVE TO BUY THE ZIT CREAM
'CAUSE PAMELA HERE CAN'T BE SEEN
217
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:40,883
BUYING THAT KIND OF GOOP. SHOULD I
KEEP GOING OR HAVE YOU HEARD ENOUGH?
218
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:42,852
WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO DO THAT?
219
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,954
IN THE ARMY STUDYING
AERIAL PHOTOS.
220
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,873
IN A SPLIT SECOND
I HAD TO DECIDE...
221
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:50,715
WEAPON OF MASS
DESTRUCTION OR JUST A DUDE?
222
00:10:53,002 --> 00:10:55,920
HI, WHAT'S EVERYBODY
DOING OUT HERE?
223
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,153
OH, NO!
224
00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:03,572
WHAT HAPPENED?
225
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,341
I DON'T NEED THIS.
226
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,777
- MOM...
- WE...
227
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:11,230
- I DID IT.
- Both: HE DID IT.
228
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,616
- YOU?
- YEAH.
229
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,768
SORRY, IT WAS LATE LAST NIGHT.
230
00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:18,421
THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY. I
DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO UNPLUG MY VAN
231
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:21,674
SO I BORROWED YOUR CAR. I FOUND
IT THAT WAY IN THE PARKING LOT.
232
00:11:21,698 --> 00:11:24,443
AND THEY CALL IT A
GENTLEMEN'S CLUB.
233
00:11:24,467 --> 00:11:26,417
C.J.
234
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,635
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
235
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:35,371
- WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
- COME ON, YOU'RE FAMILY.
236
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:38,675
BLOOD IS THICKER THAN...
OH MY GOD. IT'S SCARING ME.
237
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:45,698
MOM.
238
00:11:45,722 --> 00:11:48,750
I NEED YOU TO SIGN THIS.
I'M KIND OF IN TROUBLE.
239
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,892
WHAT IS IT?
240
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,426
"IMPROPER DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
241
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,934
IN THE HALLS WITHOUT A PASS"?
242
00:12:01,604 --> 00:12:03,716
DID YOU KISS MISSY
IN THE HALLWAY?
243
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:06,902
IT WASN'T MISSY.
IT WAS ROBIN RADEL.
244
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,538
SHE'S ALWAYS KIND
OF HAD A CRUSH ON ME,
245
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,889
PLUS I NEEDED THE PRACTICE.
246
00:12:10,913 --> 00:12:13,642
YOU NEEDED PRACTICE KISSING?
247
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:16,586
YOU'RE A 14-YEAR-OLD BOY.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD.
248
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:19,998
C.J. TOLD ME I SHOULD PRACTICE
KISSING LOTS OF OTHER GIRLS
249
00:12:20,022 --> 00:12:23,352
SO I'D BE GOOD WHEN I
FINALLY GET MY HANDS ON MISSY.
250
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:27,457
GET YOUR HANDS ON...
C.J. TOLD YOU THIS?
251
00:12:27,481 --> 00:12:29,842
YEAH.
252
00:12:29,866 --> 00:12:32,361
WELL, DID HE ALSO TELL YOU
THAT YOU'D BE HAVING A MONTH
253
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:34,413
OF SATURDAY DETENTIONS?
254
00:12:34,437 --> 00:12:36,381
- WHAT?
- MM-HMM.
255
00:12:36,405 --> 00:12:38,250
RORY, GIVE ME A MINUTE.
256
00:12:38,274 --> 00:12:42,026
I LOVE THAT C.J. I'M GONNA
SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS.
257
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,975
LOOK, DAD, WE HAVEN'T
HEARD C.J.'s SIDE
258
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,677
OF THE STORY. AND WHEN WE DO,
259
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:52,298
THEN WE CAN WRING HIS
SCRAWNY LITTLE NECK.
260
00:12:52,322 --> 00:12:54,833
IT'S ONE THING TO GIVE SOMEONE
THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT,
261
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,668
BUT I CANNOT STAND WHEN A MEMBER
262
00:12:56,692 --> 00:13:00,122
OF MY OWN FAMILY IS
LYING STRAIGHT TO MY FACE.
263
00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:04,960
SHE WAS JUST PRACTICING
HER SCARED POSE.
264
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,480
GOOD ONE, BRIDGE!
265
00:13:07,504 --> 00:13:10,799
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
266
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,569
KERRY, SHE KNOWS. SHE KNOWS
EVERYTHING. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.
267
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:16,989
- I HAVE TO CONFESS
EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.
- YOU ARE BEING HYSTERICAL.
268
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,030
- SHE KNOWS WE WRECKED THE CAR...
- BRIDGET!
269
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:24,947
OW!
270
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:28,250
CALM DOWN, BRIDGET.
YOU'RE BEING PARANOID.
271
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:29,918
NO, I AM NOT. DIDN'T YOU
HEAR HER DOWNSTAIRS?
272
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,338
SHE SAID I CAN'T STAND A
FAMILY MEMBER LYING TO MY FACE.
273
00:13:32,362 --> 00:13:34,256
LOOK, IF MOM KNEW
WE TOOK OUT THE CAR,
274
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,525
WHY WOULDN'T SHE JUST
COME OUT AND SAY SOMETHING?
275
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,844
BECAUSE SHE IS TOYING WITH US.
276
00:13:38,868 --> 00:13:42,865
SHE WANTS US TO COME CLEAN,
BUT ALL WE KEEP DOING IS LYING.
277
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,772
AND OW!
278
00:13:50,847 --> 00:13:52,897
HEY HEY, COME ON IN, MAN.
279
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,268
GRAB A SEAT ON THE BED.
280
00:13:58,788 --> 00:14:00,566
I OUGHTA MESS YOU UP, MAN.
281
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,518
IT'S REALLY HARD TO BE TAKEN
SERIOUSLY ON THIS STUPID BED.
282
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:05,404
YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
283
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,757
THIS ISN'T FUNNY. I TOOK
YOUR STUPID ADVICE
284
00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:09,541
AND KISSED ROBIN RADEL.
285
00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:10,876
OH YEAH, HOW'D IT GO?
286
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:13,545
SHE SAID I OPENED
MY MOUTH TOO WIDE.
287
00:14:13,569 --> 00:14:15,530
ROOKIE MISTAKE.
288
00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:17,382
SHE SAID IT WAS LIKE
STICKING HER FACE IN A BUCKET.
289
00:14:17,406 --> 00:14:20,118
- IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY...
- THE POINT IS...
290
00:14:20,142 --> 00:14:22,170
BUT THEN MISSY FOUND
OUT I KISSED SOMEONE ELSE
291
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:24,123
AND TOLD ME I COULD
FORGET ABOUT THE DANCE.
292
00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:27,209
SHE SAID SHE WOULDN'T KISS ME
IF I WERE THE LAST GUY ON EARTH.
293
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:30,862
RORY, "I WOULDN'T KISS YOU IF
YOU WERE THE LAST GUY ON EARTH"
294
00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:34,066
IS A RITE OF PASSAGE. EVERY
GUY HEARS THAT AT SOME POINT.
295
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:36,969
IT'S LIKE, "YOU'RE
OLD AND GROSS.
296
00:14:36,993 --> 00:14:39,738
FERRARI DOESN'T MAKE VANS.
297
00:14:39,762 --> 00:14:42,024
SO HELP ME, GOD,
TAKE ONE MORE STEP
298
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,893
I'LL BASH YOUR HEAD
IN WITH THIS ROCK."
299
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:47,913
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. NOW MISSY WILL
PROBABLY HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE
300
00:14:47,937 --> 00:14:50,037
AT THE DANCE AND
FORGET ALL ABOUT ME.
301
00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:55,071
COME HERE. LOOK, RORY,
302
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:58,574
I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY THAT
THAT HAPPENED TO YOU, PAL.
303
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:01,343
BUT I KINDA GOTTA GET MOVING.
304
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,512
WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT MISSY?
305
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,264
CAN WE TALK ABOUT
IT AFTER THE CONCERT?
306
00:15:05,288 --> 00:15:07,282
OR ACTUALLY MAYBE,
IN A COUPLE DAYS?
307
00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:09,284
'CAUSE TONIGHT'S
GONNA BE REALLY GREAT
308
00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:12,604
AND THIS CONVERSATION SEEMS LIKE
IT'S GOT "BUZZ KILLER" WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.
309
00:15:12,628 --> 00:15:15,063
BUT I'M GONNA SNAG YOU A
LIGHT STICK. HOW ABOUT THAT?
310
00:15:24,106 --> 00:15:26,636
RORY.
311
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:29,327
COME ON, MAN, WE'LL TALK
ON THE WAY TO THE SHOW.
312
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,133
- WHERE'S RORY?
- HEY, AUNT CATE.
313
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,818
WHERE'S RORY?
314
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,837
HE'S COMING. HE'S IN THE VAN.
315
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:48,624
YOU TOLD RORY THAT HE
COULD GET A GIRL TO LIKE HIM
316
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,327
BY PRACTICING KISSING
ON ANOTHER GIRL?
317
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,780
I TOLD HIM TO PRACTICE,
BUT I MEANT, LIKE,
318
00:15:54,804 --> 00:15:56,965
ON HIS HAND OR IN THE MIRROR,
319
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,901
ON PLUSH TOYS.
320
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,686
YOU KISS PLUSH TOYS?
321
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,505
NO, YOU KISS PLUSH TOYS.
322
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:06,808
YOU KNOW, C.J., I
GAVE YOU A CHANCE
323
00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:10,512
BECAUSE I THOUGHT
MAYBE YOU HAD MATURED.
324
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:13,849
BUT IT'S BECOME PRETTY OBVIOUS THAT
WE WERE JUST ANOTHER PLACE TO CRASH
325
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:16,033
WHILE YOU FOLLOWED
AEROSMITH ON THEIR TOUR.
326
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,193
I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA
HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
327
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,533
WOW. OUCH.
328
00:16:27,803 --> 00:16:29,253
SOME BIRTHDAY.
329
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,252
NOW ASK HIM FOR MY MONEY.
330
00:16:33,276 --> 00:16:34,886
Cate: DAD, PLEASE.
331
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:37,389
- HI, MOM.
- HI, MRS. HENNESSY.
332
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:41,026
HI, MISSY. DID I TELL YOU
YOU COULD GO TO A CONCERT?
333
00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:43,779
- I DIDN'T. I WENT
TO THE SCHOOL DANCE.
- WHAT?
334
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,998
RORY WAS SO CUTE. HE
CAME IN, BROUGHT ME A ROSE.
335
00:16:46,022 --> 00:16:47,955
I FELT JUST LIKE
"THE BACHELORETTE."
336
00:16:49,626 --> 00:16:52,504
C.J. DROVE ME THERE. I
WAS TOO SCARED TO GO IN.
337
00:16:52,528 --> 00:16:54,539
THEN HE CONVINCED ME I SHOULD.
338
00:16:54,563 --> 00:16:56,108
WHEN I GOT THERE,
SHE LOOKED SO PRETTY
339
00:16:56,132 --> 00:16:58,612
- I GOT BUTTERFLIES
IN MY STOMACH.
- STEADY.
340
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,648
RIGHT.
341
00:17:02,672 --> 00:17:05,384
- SORRY YOU MISSED
YOUR AEROSMITH CONCERT.
- THAT'S COOL, MAN.
342
00:17:05,408 --> 00:17:09,071
- YOU DIDN'T GO?
- ANYWAY, I'M GONNA
WALK MISSY HOME.
343
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:11,456
HEY, DON'T YOU TWO TAKE
FRENCH CLASS TOGETHER?
344
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,592
SHUT UP!
345
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:17,078
WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
GAVE UP YOUR CONCERT.
346
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:18,652
IT'S NO BIGGIE.
347
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:23,869
WOW, THESE ARE
REALLY GOOD SEATS.
348
00:17:23,893 --> 00:17:25,253
YEAH YEAH.
349
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,539
NO, I MEAN INCREDIBLE SEATS.
350
00:17:27,563 --> 00:17:30,492
YES, THANK YOU.
351
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:32,478
YEAH, WELL, IT HAS BEEN
FUN. WHY DON'T YOU DROP BY
352
00:17:32,502 --> 00:17:35,253
WHEN YOU CAN STAY
A LITTLE LONGER?
353
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,969
LOOK...
354
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:44,123
I MAY HAVE WORN OUT MY
WELCOME HERE A LITTLE BIT,
355
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,141
AND I'M SORRY.
356
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:48,143
AND I DON'T WANNA SOUND CHEESY,
357
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:51,597
BUT I JUST ALWAYS WANTED
358
00:17:51,621 --> 00:17:54,650
TO BE A PART OF A
FAMILY LIKE YOURS.
359
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,319
I JUST KIND OF LIKE
HANGING OUT WITH YOU GUYS.
360
00:17:57,343 --> 00:18:00,322
- OH.
- WELL, THAT WAS
KIND OF SWEET.
361
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,613
YEAH, CAN YOU TAKE ME DRIVING?
362
00:18:04,233 --> 00:18:06,411
I'M SORRY. THAT
JUST SLIPPED OUT.
363
00:18:06,435 --> 00:18:07,946
THAT REALLY WAS SWEET.
364
00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:09,698
NOW WAIT ONE DAMN MINUTE HERE.
365
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:13,068
BEFORE WE ALL SOFTEN
UP LIKE A BUNCH OF PANSIES,
366
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,621
YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE
AND YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH.
367
00:18:15,645 --> 00:18:17,873
WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG
368
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:20,609
TO COME PAY YOUR RESPECTS
TO YOUR UNCLE PAUL?
369
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:24,335
AND, C.J., BE HONEST FOR ONCE.
370
00:18:27,156 --> 00:18:29,089
I WAS ASHAMED.
371
00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:34,457
HE WAS THE ONLY GUY
WHO SAID I'D BE SOMEBODY.
372
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:37,058
AND I NEVER WAS.
373
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,678
I ALMOST CALLED HIM ONE TIME
WHEN I WAS RUNNING THE TILT-A-WHIRL,
374
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:42,747
BUT ALL THE PARENTS FREAKED
OUT 'CAUSE I WAS DIALING
375
00:18:42,771 --> 00:18:46,167
INSTEAD OF PAYING
ATTENTION TO THEIR KIDS.
376
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:49,205
I'LL GET OUT OF YOUR HAIR.
377
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,890
WHERE YOU GONNA GO?
378
00:18:50,914 --> 00:18:53,008
THOUGHT I MIGHT SEE MY PARENTS.
379
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,827
I THOUGHT THEY
WEREN'T TALKING TO YOU.
380
00:18:54,851 --> 00:18:57,167
I MEANT FROM A DISTANCE.
381
00:18:58,922 --> 00:19:00,766
I CAN RE-UP IN THE ARMY.
382
00:19:00,790 --> 00:19:03,356
OH, WAIT, THERE'S A WAR.
383
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:06,789
TECHNICALLY, I DON'T
KNOW WHERE I'M GOING,
384
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,180
SO I'LL BE FINE.
385
00:19:10,866 --> 00:19:15,180
ALL ALONE, ME AND MY
LITTLE SPACE HEATER.
386
00:19:15,204 --> 00:19:18,333
THAT'S MY SPACE HEATER.
387
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:19,974
C.J., WAIT.
388
00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:23,822
LOOK, THE TRUTH IS
389
00:19:23,846 --> 00:19:26,307
THIS FAMILY DOESN'T REALLY KNOW
390
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,693
WHERE IT'S GOING EITHER.
391
00:19:28,717 --> 00:19:33,571
SO WHY DON'T YOU
STAY A LITTLE WHILE?
392
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,125
IN THE DRIVEWAY.
393
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,708
ALL RIGHT, UNTIL YOU
CAN FIGURE STUFF OUT.
394
00:19:43,732 --> 00:19:46,294
CAN I HAVE THE KEY
TO THE DEADBOLT?
395
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,080
NO.
396
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,732
YOU KNOW, C.J.,
397
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,969
I HAVE TO SAY IT IS SO
NICE TO SEE THE REAL YOU.
398
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:57,022
BUT THERE'S ONE THING WE
VALUE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD.
399
00:19:57,046 --> 00:19:58,240
IT'S THE TRUTH.
400
00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:01,109
HONESTY HONESTY HONESTY.
401
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,896
OKAY, MOTHER, STOP IT. JUST
STOP YOUR MIND-GAMES RIGHT NOW.
402
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,015
- WHAT?
- NO, BRIDGET, SHUT UP!
403
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,884
I DID IT. I PUT THE DENT IN
THE CAR. IT WAS MY FAULT.
404
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,386
- NO!
- YES!
405
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,788
YES, I HAD TO GET
ZIT CREAM ONE NIGHT
406
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,706
AND SHE WOULDN'T GO WITH
ME UNLESS SHE COULD DRIVE.
407
00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:16,775
SO SHE GOT THE DENT IN THE
CAR AND THEN C.J. CAME OUT
408
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,593
- AND HE TOOK
THE BLAME FOR US.
- WHAT?
409
00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:21,729
OH, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.
410
00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:24,899
THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME
TO BE HONEST. GOOD NIGHT.
411
00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:26,718
WAIT ONE MINUTE.
412
00:20:26,742 --> 00:20:29,772
YOU SNUCK OUT AT
NIGHT AND YOU DROVE?
413
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:32,424
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A LICENSE.
414
00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:34,076
AND YOU COVERED
FOR THE WHOLE THING?
415
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:37,412
ALL RIGHT, OKAY. EVERYBODY,
MASS GROUNDINGS.
416
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:40,054
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!
417
00:20:42,258 --> 00:20:44,475
OH, YOU MEAN THOSE
TWO? THAT'S COOL.
418
00:20:48,031 --> 00:20:49,980
AND YOU JUST ASKED HIM TO STAY.
419
00:20:56,656 --> 00:21:00,140
WELL, I... WELL...
420
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:10,946
WOW, RORY,
421
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,998
WHERE'D YOU LEARN
HOW TO KISS LIKE THAT?
422
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,650
MY COUSIN.
423
00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:16,801
YOUR COUSIN? EW!
424
00:21:16,825 --> 00:21:19,371
WAIT, NO. IT'S
NOT LIKE IT SEEMS.
425
00:21:19,395 --> 00:21:21,646
MY COUSIN'S A GUY!
32097
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