Original subtitles

[bell ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

♪

- Today, I got divorced

by my husband, Iden Valentino.

We've been married for three years,

but as fate would have it,

he doesn't even know what I look like.

- Miss Lisa Sampson, I'm here on Mr. Iden Valentino's behalf.

Your three-year marriage contract with him

has come to an end.

These are your divorce papers.

You may keep this mansion as well as the $2 million

you previously borrowed.

Please sign.

♪

- Couldn't be bothered to show up to the wedding,

and now he can't show up to what is divorce either.

- Unfortunately, Mr. Valentino

has business in France at the moment.

- [laughs] Right.

You mean, frolicking about with his piece of shit

little girlfriend, Patricia Brown?

♪

- Right.

Um...

♪

I'm sorry. This is just--

If you could, um, just pass along a final message to him,

you know, for me?

- Sure.

- Could you--could you just tell him?

Like, in this exact wording.

- Okay.

He was so disappointing as a husband,

I'd have been better off marrying a goldfish.

♪

Got that?

- Goldfish.

You got it.

- [clears throat]

♪

- We're here.

♪

[bell dings]

[crowd cheering]

♪

- Today, I got divorced.

By my husband, Iden Valentino.

We've been married for three years.

But as fate would have it,

he doesn't even know what I look like.

[horse whinnies]

- Miss Lisa Sampson, I'm here on Mr. Iden Valentino's behalf.

Your three-year marriage contract with him

has come to an end.

These are your divorce papers.

You may keep this mansion,

as well as the $2 million you previously borrowed.

Please sign.

♪

- Couldn't be bothered to show up to the wedding,

and now he can't show up to what?

His divorce, either.

- Unfortunately, Mr. Valentino

has business in France at the moment.

- [laughs] Right.

You mean, frolicking about with his piece of shit

little girlfriend, Patricia Brown?

♪

- Thank you. - [sighs]

Um...

♪

I'm sorry.

This was just--

If you could, um, just pass along

a final message to him, you know, for me?

- Sure.

- Could you--could you just tell him?

Like, in this exact wording.

- Okay.

- He was so disappointing as a husband,

I'd have been better off marrying a goldfish.

[water splashes]

[bubbles pop]

♪

Got that?

- Goldfish.

- Got it.

- [clears throat]

♪

- We're here.

♪

We're here.

- You can't let loose, Lisa.

Plenty of fish in the sea.

♪

- I don't know about this.

- Girl, don't be hung over that scumbag.

He never even gave a single damn about you.

- [sighs] I'm still hopelessly in love.

But today, I have to let go.

- Yeah.

You're right.

That arrogant asshole isn't worth it.

♪

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- [sighs]

- [laughs]

- Someone spiked my drink with aphrodisiac.

♪

- Ooh.

♪

- Smash, I found my target.

Have fun, okay?

I'll meet up with you later.

- Wait.

♪

- Bye. - No!

Molly, wait.

♪

- [coughs]

♪

Oh, sorry.

Mm, I'm sorry.

♪

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I think somebody might have actually

drug my drink with-- - Oh!

- Ah.

♪

- Aiden Valentino.

My ex-husband.

♪

Aiden Valentino.

My ex-husband.

♪

- Whole family's bankrupt.

Brothers across seas chasing down some chick.

- How the hell you plan on paying us all that debt

your dad owes us?

- I think the only way she can repay us

is by breaking her bones.

- That sounds so bad.

- Hey!

Get away from her.

♪

Mind your business, unless you want your ribs broken too.

- Let's go. Let's go.

♪

- And that's how it feels to get your rib broken too!

Are you okay?

- Thank you.

- Yeah, of course.

- What's your name?

- Aiden.

- Thank you, Aiden.

- Don't mention it.

♪

- I've had a crush on you for five years

and married for three.

My husband.

You don't even know who I am.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

- Maybe this can be our departing gift.

[sighs]

Then it's goodbye forever.

♪

[cell phone buzzing]

[sighs]

Wonderful, the mistress calls.

♪

- Hello?

- Who are you?

- Aiden Valentino is still asleep.

Who is this?

- Why do you have my boyfriend's phone?

♪

- Boyfriend?

He was my husband until yesterday.

- Aiden's been calling me "babe" and "battle knight."

So who do you think I am?

- What? I-I didn't-- but never.

Who is this?

♪

- You're pretty average.

Payback for not showing up for the divorce.

♪

That is for cheating on me.

Scumbag ex-husband.

♪

- Can I help you?

♪

- Do you--do you want this?

- I-I really don't want any more tickets.

I'll let it on eBay if you don't want it.

- Well, this looks almost brand new.

- Yeah.

- Wow, thank you.

♪

- Oh, there's a cute little puppy sticker.

- Thanks.

♪

♪

- Just average.

Just average.

♪

Where are any of my clothes?

- Jake, I need a new phone.

- Yes, sir.

- Find out who spiked my drink.

- Yes, sir.

- And more importantly,

you need to find out the woman

who was in my room last night.

- Will do, sir.

Also, today is your first day as CEO

of a new company you just acquired.

We best start heading out.

- Ah, right.

- By the way, as per the agreement three years ago,

Attorney Jones has filed the divorce papers

for you and your ex-wife.

- Oh.

Did she say anything?

- Um, the missus said, um...

"You are such a disappointment as a husband

that I'd rather marry a goldfish."

- Rude.

♪

- Apologies.

- Her words, not mine, sir.

- Like the girl from last night.

♪

[tires screeching]

♪

- Chop, chop, okay, the new CEO's about to arrive.

Let's make sure everything looks neat and orderly.

- [sighs]

Stupid ex-husband, making me late.

- And sore.

- You were never late.

- Had a party in last night?

- No.

- Well, that's not my style.

- I heard the new CEO just came back from Europe,

and he's drooling hot and ultra-rich.

Whoever married him would be so damn lucky.

- Lucky?

You think he interested in one of us?

- Okay, don't be delusional.

He's probably old and bald.

- Oh, you're right.

What are you two babbling about?

Okay, the CEO's about to be here.

We need to go. He's here.

- I was just--

- Oh, my God, what's happening?

Get up, go, go, go, go!

Everybody look sharp. Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

♪

- Okay, smile, smile, smile.

Thank you.

[laughs]

♪

- Ooh.

♪

♪

- Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing.

[clears throat]

♪

- Please don't tell me he recognizes me from last night.

♪

- It is important to maintain a professional image.

Next time this happens,

don't bother coming to New York.

♪

- Okay, he doesn't recognize my face,

but not even my name?

- [whispers]

- Did he even read the divorce papers he sent me?

Wait, but that means I can keep this job

if he doesn't realize it's me, right?

- Her hair smells kind of nice.

Reminds me of the girl last night.

Um, let her know that I'd like her to be my secretary,

please. Thank you.

♪

- Mr. Valentino has chosen you to be his secretary.

- What?

I-I'm an engineer.

I'm an engineer.

- Hey, hey, hey, stop. - Is he out of his mind?

[arguing]

- Shh.

Mr. Valentino, this'll be your new office for the time.

- [sighs]

♪

Okay.

♪

- I'm still not quite sure that I understand, sir.

Why have an engineer be your secretary?

- Are you telling me how to do my job?

- No.

Just curious.

M-Ms. Brown was saying that she couldn't reach you on the phone,

so she's requesting that you pick her up tomorrow.

- [gasps]

Oh! Whoa!

- [gasps]

- Oh! Whoa!

♪ I know you're feeling laid back, but it's getting late ♪

♪ Last call is on the way ♪

♪ Pick your poison, I can pay ♪

♪ I've been eyeing you the entire day ♪

♪ Justifying my disdain ♪

♪ I could ride this high for days ♪

♪ Here's to hoping you relate ♪

- Coffee or tea?

- Coffee.

♪ I hate it if all this conversation went to waste ♪

- I'll get that right away.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, and next time, knock.

It's basic etiquette.

[air horn blows]

- Of course, Your Majesty.

♪

[knocking]

♪

- Ugh! Have you lost your goddamn mind?!

♪

[door creaks]

[footsteps]

You said coffee?

- Coffee, please.

- Yeah.

Sorry.

I'll go get the coffee.

- She wants my attention.

♪

- Hmm.

- I was gonna walk in there,

and I was gonna say, "I quit."

And then I was going to slap him!

And then...

[knocking]

- Miss Sampson,

the boss wants to see you.

- Okay.

♪

- Your coffee, sir.

- Oh! Ah! Ah!

Jeez! Ugh!

Ooh! Okay.

All right.

- [moans]

- Oh, that's the--

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Lisa Sampson, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

- Do you need something from me, sir?

- Yes, I need you--

[sighs]

I need you to go shopping

to get a gift that serves as an apology.

Can you do that?

- Must be for Patricia Brown.

For that call I intercepted last night.

- God.

[sighs]

Scumbag.

- What?

- Uh, I'm just--

I'm celebrating

because an overly competent engineer

such as myself

am more than qualified

to tackle such a daunting task

of picking out gifts.

- Have we met before?

Have we met before?

- We slept together too, dummy.

- I don't think so.

I'm gonna go get your gifts now.

- Thank you.

- Oh, God, this is hot.

[exhales]

Jake, an ice pack.

ASAP.

And another coffee.

[upbeat music]

[farting]

- What is this?

- Looks like a piece of shit, sir.

I think it is intentional.

♪ ♪

- Lisa.

- Yes?

- Do you have a problem with me?

- What?

What are you talking about?

- Because you just landed a giant turd on my desk.

- Oh.

Okay, see, I'm an engineer.

So all I had was parchment paper.

♪ ♪

- You're just trying to get my attention, aren't you?

- Don't misunderstand me.

I simply thought that brown paper

would match Miss Brown's accents.

- And whoever said this is for Patricia Brown,

it's actually for...

- What's up?

- How many mistresses do you have?

- Ex-wife's name, Jake.

- He's buying gifts for me?

He's never gotten me anything

in the three years we've been married.

Maybe he does have a heart.

- Oh.

Your ex-wife is also named Lisa Sampson.

- You share the same name as my ex-wife.

- I'm literally her, dumbass.

- Huh.

Jake, can you get her my ex-wife's address

so she can send this to her?

♪ ♪

- Jesus fucking Christ. I know where I live.

I'll find the address.

♪ ♪

- Hmm, she wants to play.

♪ ♪

And I shall indulge her.

[chuckles]

- No, he literally did not remember

his own ex-wife's name.

- Forget his ass.

You had fun last night, didn't you?

Why don't we go again?

- No, I, um, I've got a headache,

and I don't want to drink.

- Go ahead.

- I don't--yeah, I don't want to drink.

Yeah, hey, hey, can I play that?

- So why don't you go to a business dinner

after this tonight?

- Uh, tonight I can't.

I have, um, got plans,

and I'm not drinking anyway, so...

- Perfect. You can be our designated driver then.

♪ ♪

- Um, no.

♪ ♪

- Hmm. Cheers.

♪ ♪

[glass clinks]

- Why won't she drink up?

This is disrespectful to our culture.

How am I supposed to do business with you people like this?

- Ask me nicely, and maybe I'll save you.

- [scoffs] Jerk face.

♪ ♪

- [sighs] How about this?

I ordered the oyster soup just for you.

It's wonderful for your...

health. [laughs]

I'm sure that your wife will be

very excited about it later tonight.

[giggles]

♪ ♪

[phone chimes]

[indistinct chatter]

[laughter]

- Hmm, slick, but gross.

- Hmm, maybe you should be my secretary instead.

- [coughs]

What are you doing?

- It's bad time.

I've got peanuts.

- You know about the boss's peanut allergy.

And how the hell would you know that?

- I mean, Mr. Valentino is the hottest bachelor in town,

so, you know, all the girls in the office

have been talking about it. [laughs]

- I knew it. She's interested in me.

♪ ♪

Please be mindful of social boundaries, Ms. Epson.

- Says the one who hires his ex-wife to be his secretary.

- Yeah, excuse me. Just a minute.

♪ ♪

[phone buzzes]

♪ ♪

Excuse me.

[indistinct chatter]

She's a good secretary.

I still don't understand why you wanted me to prank her for you.

- Because she pranked me earlier, so I want to prank her now.

- So she has a sense of humor.

Don't be so mean to her. - Mm.

- I was your college roommate for four years,

and even I didn't know about your peanut allergy.

♪ ♪

- Excuse me. Where are you going?

♪ ♪

- You're my driver.

♪ ♪

- Oops.

I better go check on my restaurant.

Your next meal's on me.

♪ ♪

- Your grandfather called.

- I'm sorry.

- Your grandfather called. - Mm.

- He's asking for you and Mrs. Valentino to come back

and have dinner with him now that you're back in the country.

- He doesn't know that we're divorced?

♪ ♪

- Your grandfather's health has declined.

Your ex-wife probably didn't want to disappoint him.

After all, it is her who's been taking care of him all these years.

♪ ♪

- She wouldn't have even gotten that marriage contract

from my grandpa if she didn't have allegedly run into him

to save him from an asthma,

not to mention the $2 million she got out of it.

So why wouldn't she be sucking up to him?

It's all for her own benefit.

- Well, someone has to be nice to your grandpa, Aydan.

♪ ♪

- Come on. Let it out.

- I should have just let him die.

Just eat his peanuts and die from his allergy.

And then rip up his $2 million check

and just throw it on top of his grave.

- Are you really gonna hide the fact that you're his ex-wife?

- What else am I supposed to do?

I waited for three years.

And for what? Some pitiful divorce gifts?

Which I had to buy and wrap myself?

I should just give it up.

- But you've been in love with him for so long,

and you gave up so much for him.

♪ ♪

- Samson,

Mr. Valentino is not happy with your lack of goodbyes tonight.

He wishes to get an explanation tomorrow.

- He's insane! I'm quitting!

- Yeah, yeah.

♪ ♪

- It's a kitchen frown! - Oh, my God!

- The Supermodel with the star! The one and only!

- The Michael model!

- Oh, my God! - Can you please let me go?

- It's a kitchen frown! - Oh, my God!

- The Supermodel with the star! The one and only!

- The Michael model!

Can you please let me go?

[screaming]

Thank you!

Oh, my God!

- He's earned his modeling career sky high thanks to your help.

- She broke her leg four years ago, saving my life.

I thought I'd give her a little something else.

♪ ♪

- Yeah, take this. - Thank you.

- I didn't think you were so much for the guy you love.

- Please be mindful of social boundaries, Patricia.

- Okay, well, I tried to call you two days ago

and some random woman picked up.

Who was she?

[car door slams]

- S--sorry, a puppy ran out from under the car, sir.

- Was it okay?

- Yeah, it's fine. It got out of the way in time.

- Ew.

- What? What's going on?

- I hit my knee. It's hurting.

- Hey, Jake, we might need to go to the hospital for this.

- No, no, no, no, no. You don't need to go to the hospital.

Annie's too far gone, and I'm just reminded of all the pain.

- Mm-hmm.

- But if you spend some time with me,

it'll feel better.

- Get in the car.

- [sighs]

- Letter of resignation.

- So Steven's covering for Anna while she's away.

I moved your 11 a.m. to 12,

and then lastly, uh, the board emailed today.

They said as soon as you make sure everything is in order here,

they want to transfer you to their new start up in three months.

- Mm.

- He's only gonna be here for three months?

That means I don't have to resign.

- What is that?

Your apology for leaving me at the restaurant last night?

- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.

- It's--it's--

- Okay, you get it.

- [gasps]

- ♪ Feedback, but it's getting late ♪

♪ Last call is on the way ♪

- You're always falling.

You know, falling for me will have severe consequences?

- Actually, I broke my knee a few years ago,

um, saving an ungrateful idiot.

- Mm-hmm. - And, uh,

I have 20/20 vision.

- And what is that supposed to mean?

- She's calling you ugly, sir.

And she's trying to say that she's not blind.

- [sighs]

♪ ♪

- Looks like the prey can embolden her.

She's special.

- If he thinks he can bully me into submission,

he's got another thing coming.

- Oh, and get me a file on Lisa Sampson.

- Wait for secretary, sir.

- Secretary, duh!

[cell phone buzzing]

- Hello. - Hey.

- Grandpa wants us over for dinner tonight.

- A family dinner tonight.

- Okay.

[playful music]

- I can't keep this secret forever.

- I cannot do it.

- There are other jobs in the world.

I'll lose this one and find another.

[knocking]

- Grandpa Valentino?

- Olga said you weren't feeling well.

- Oh, ow, ow.

I must have heard something.

- Sit, sit, sit, sit. Here. - I'll be all right.

You know, the doctor said it would be healthy

for me to have some distractions.

Some great-grandchildren, perhaps?

Some great-grandchildren, perhaps?

Then I could run around chasing after them.

- Mm-hmm.

- Doctor says it's good exercise, Lisa.

- [laughs]

How about some tea?

- That would be lovely. - Okay.

- Wait. Where's Aydin?

- Um...

Aydin and I...

- Sir, Mr. Valentino Jr.'s car

has arrived in the driveway.

- Well, finally.

Let's go get him, my dear.

- Okay.

[door opens]

[door closes]

- Sir, Mr. Aydin is a bit busy at the moment,

so he told me to bring you this new pet first.

- I get to live another day. Yes!

- Tell me, where is he?

- He's, um--he's helping Miss Brown

with her physical therapy.

- Ugh. Brown, who's a bitch again?

- Ah, hat boy.

Have a goldfish.

- I guess I did swap him out for a goldfish.

- Oh.

Oh, gosh.

Yeah. Ah.

- Ah.

- Aydin, can you open my leg? - Yeah, yes.

- And you just really stretch my glute.

Wider? - Yeah.

- Open it. More. - It's open.

- More. - Okay.

- [grunts]

- Excuse me, sir, but your grandfather

insists that you join him.

- Okay, yes, I think I should go.

- Why? No. Where are you going?

I thought you wanted nothing to do

with your scheming ex-wife.

[door opens]

- Hey, Grandpa. How are you?

Um, I think I'd just come in and check up on you.

- What are you--

- Oh, you remember I exist, do you?

You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

Hell, you missed Lisa.

She just left.

Even the tea is still warm.

You'd rather fly around the world

with that dang mistress of yours

and spare one glance at your wife.

- Grandpa, it's not like that between me and Patricia.

- Don't you mention her name in this house.

Go explain to your wife.

- Actually, there's something that--

- What? - I said--

- Do you have any idea

how she's been taking care of this family

this entire time?

She takes me to all my doctor visits.

Even this tea.

She makes the blend all herself.

- Okay.

This tea isn't bad.

- You could be drinking this every day.

- Grandpa, it's average, okay?

Did you at least like the goldfish that I brought you?

- Gave it to Lisa already.

You can't bribe me with pets.

I want a human great-grandchild.

Now go home, and don't you come back

unless you bring Lisa with you.

- Okay, Grandpa.

[laughs]

- Hey, where you going with my tea?

- It's not bad.

- Hey, girl, what's wrong?

- Is your dad still a veterinarian,

and do you know how to take care of a goldfish?

- Yes and no. But, girl, you got a goldfish?

- I got a goldfish. - Oh, is it a goldfish?

[clears throat]

I'll have a tea today.

- Order up. One pipe and hot tea.

- I don't know if the diminished brain capacity

is from all the hair gel absorbing into his scalp

or from Fumi getting himself every day with body spray,

but either way, you look like a feral dog,

and you smell like one too. How's that for tea?

- Make sure it's hot!

- What? Not enough work for you to do?

Got enough time to chit-chat with one of your guy co-workers?

- You know, I don't think I'm actually very good

at this whole secretary thing, so maybe I should--

- Oh, don't cut yourself short. You make a nice cup of coffee.

Not a bad cup of tea, either.

- It tastes just like the tea from last night.

So, tell me, what did you put in it?

- It's just an herb blend. - Mm.

- I didn't realize you liked tea so much.

- I did?

- I'm so glad I didn't know you were supposed to be here.

- First time seeing the mistress in person.

She's pretty.

But stupid and mean.

- I have to go shopping. Why don't you come with?

- Mm. I'm a bit busy today.

Here, why don't you take the card, Lisa?

Take her shopping. Thank you.

You two have fun.

You like them stupid, don't they?

- Take a photo of me holding this,

and then we can just throw it out after.

[camera shutter clicking]

Did you just roll your eyes at me?

[laughs]

I can tell you want Iden.

I sent you here to serve me.

I can spot a gold digger from a mile away.

- Is that because you spend so much time

looking at yourself in the mirror?

- I'm gonna swat away all the flies surrounding Iden.

Flies among turtles.

- Are you calling him a piece of shit?

'Cause I'd be happy to pass on that message.

- Hey, what is going on? - [gasps]

She hit me!

I love technology.

Uh, she hit me, actually. The security cameras never lie.

Anyway.

As if I haven't watched enough real short shows

to know how to deal with bitches like you.

- Did you hit her? - No!

She's lying.

- Thank God that shithead ex-husband

didn't take the house and heart to whip it.

- Son of a...

I can relax after a long day.

[phone buzzing]

- What is it, shithead ex-husband?

- Wait, what did you just call me?

- Oh, uh, Mr. Valentino, what's--what's up?

- Look, I'm a bit drunk,

so I'm gonna need you to come pick me up

at, uh, the 7th Heaven Bar.

- What? - Yeah.

- Wait, 7th Heaven? No way I'm going.

- Ugh!

Should've told me, what the hell.

Ugh!

- Hey.

You're cute.

- Thanks. - Wanna dance?

- [clears throat] - You're drunk.

How about I take you home?

- No, Lisa's coming to pick me up.

- Oh, I don't think Lisa's coming anywhere.

- Hey, can you get up?

- Hey, ever heard of first-come, first-served, ugly Betty?

If he's not coming home with me,

he's definitely not coming home with you.

- Okay. - [laughs]

Um, you know what? Let's bet on it.

If he comes home with me, you pay his tab.

But if he goes home with you, I'll pay yours.

- Deal.

Should've checked the mirror before leaving the house, loser.

- Great.

- Mm.

- Wanna come home with me?

- Uh, yes, that sounds good.

- What, is he blind?

I'm clearly the hot one.

- Okay.

- Ooh. Thanks for picking up the tab.

- Good? - Mm-hmm.

- Why don't you call Jake?

Or Miss Poopypants?

- What? Are you jealous?

- My God. How can he be this hot?

- Mr. Valentino.

Mrs. Valentino?

- Please sign.

- Oh, sorry. Former Mrs. Valentino.

Oh!

I get it.

Sorry for interrupting. Carry on.

- Rich guys.

Only starts dating her after the divorce.

Hey.

No money for us lawyers.

- So?

Mrs. Valentino.

- Okay, um...

I admit it.

I'm... your ex-wife.

[dramatic music]

[clears throat]

- Okay, okay.

- Oh.

[coughs]

Just kidding, I'm good.

- Okay.

- Oh.

That's nice.

- You look the same as you did five years ago.

I bet you think I skimmed my way into this marriage.

When I found out that your grandfather wanted me to marry you,

I was so excited I couldn't sleep.

Whatever.

- Wait, wait, wait.

Your hair smells so nice.

But not as nice as Lisa Sampson's tea.

But why, why does she always yell at me?

- I don't yell at you!

- Well, then tell me.

Why do you play so hard to get?

- Oh, my God.

I'm so confused.

- Okay.

You were drunk, and now you're drunk.

Are you messing with me, Ida Valentino?

- Mrs. Sampson!

Hey, look, don't be like all those gold diggers on the TV dramas

that are just trying to sleep their way to the top.

It's...

I'm sorry, are you okay?

- Don't assume the worst of me.

- Is money all that you care about?

No, I should have left you at the club.

Don't call me after 5 p.m.

- Shit.

I fucked up.

- Got files for you.

- Hey, I got your favorite pastry.

- They are quarterly budget reports from the finance department.

They need you to signatured immediately.

- Okay, I just want to talk a little bit about last night.

- Okay.

- How's your shoulder?

- Mr. Valentino!

I found the mystery woman that you spent the night with at the resort.

- What?

No, I mean, all I can see is silhouettes here, Jake.

How am I gonna see who it actually is?

- Thank God it's just a silhouette.

- It may just be a silhouette.

But I have a feeling that she'll come up very soon with a positive pregnancy test

asking Mr. Valentino to pay child support.

- Stop with the overreactive imagination. Take it back.

- No way am I pregnant.

- Samson, you're back.

- What?

- Your back and the back of your hair look identical to the woman in this video.

- Identical is a strong word, don't we think?

- Jake, I need a moment alone with Lisa.

He can't prove anything if I just deny it.

- Take off your blazer.

- What?

- You heard me. Take off the blazer.

- That's an HR violation, actually.

- Well, if that was you and the security camera, I can go to HR.

Now take off the blazer.

- Stop, stop.

- Lisa, ignore him.

- What's the problem?

The blazer. We take off the blazer.

Take off the--

- I'm not staying invited!

What's going on here?

You're trying to steal my boyfriend.

- Hey, that's enough, Patricia.

- Jesus.

- I'm hit.

We're coming on our date, right?

- Great, I'm gonna leave.

- And you're coming with us.

- What?

- I can't.

I've got a fish to feed at home and I don't want it to go belly up, so I--

- Is your damn goldfish more important than me?

Your boss.

- The goldfish was gifted to me by a very special man.

- Well, you're on the clock.

So it's either your job or the goldfish.

- Aydin, you don't need a third wheeler.

- Patricia.

- Fine.

I'll go.

But that's overtime.

So you're gonna pay.

- Yeah.

- Oh my god, Aydin.

Did you see that new film I got started?

Okay, there's this character, an evil queen, and she reminds me so much of your schemey ex-wife.

- Thank you, my friend.

- Of course.

On the house.

- Cheers.

- Oh no!

Looks like I got you all wet.

I guess you gotta go home and change.

Bathroom!

Sorry.

Schemey queen coming through.

Anyway, the production was eh.

My coverage, eh.

They really should have put a higher budget.

I just, like, I'm really confused.

Like, clearly didn't know what she was doing.

They didn't give me enough bronzer.

I just, whatever.

But you know me, I'm like--

- Don't think your dumb tricks will win over Aydin.

And who are you to tell me this?

His mistress?

- He loves me!

- Ah!

- What are you gonna do?

Hit me?

- Ah!

- Bingo.

- You asked for it.

Mistress is getting slapped.

- Hey, what is with all the noise?

- Huh?

Aydin, she slapped me!

- And why would you do that?

- Because.

Because I'm a super duper evil conniving and scheming little bitch.

- I don't think I can't fire you.

- Yes, fire her!

You can't.

Because I am firing you.

For my life.

- You can't do that.

- I just did.

- No, hey.

If I was you, I would take that back!

- You can't do that.

- I just did.

- You.

If I was you, I would take that back!

- Aydin, my leg.

It's hurting again.

- She just fired me.

She just fired me!

- Lisa, can you please bring me in here a tea?

- Okay.

- Mmm, mmm!

Oh!

Oh my god, this tea sucks!

What is this?

- Samson left, sir.

Remember?

Do you want a new one?

Or do you want a coffee instead?

- No, no.

I don't want to take that away.

- Yes, sir.

(spits)

- Oh, god.

- Boss doesn't like your blends.

- Do you know how many different combinations

of tea leaves, temperatures, and techniques

the former secretary tested and formulated

just for Mr. Valentino's palate?

- Yeah, that's true.

Ever since the new CEO arrived,

all she would do is carry tea leaves.

- Prepared to make any combination

any time his little heart desired.

- Such a thoughtful secretary.

And such big shoes to fill.

How are we ever gonna find a replacement?

- Spill the tea.

Did she get fired for trying to seduce the boss?

- Was that pun intended?

Or unintended?

- Careful not to get fired.

- Unintended, right?

- I thought so.

(clears throat)

(clattering)

- She's always so cold to me on the surface,

but deep down,

she actually really cares about me.

- What's this?

- Your ex-wife ordered a ball gown.

The shop owners send both items here by mistake,

so I'll make sure this gets sent back to her address.

- Okay.

- I would put your suit in the executive closet,

but Samson still has the key.

- Just hire her back.

- I mean, I don't get it.

When you fire somebody, they take the key.

That makes no sense.

- I thought she was the one that fired you.

- Be glad I don't have a cat.

Otherwise, this fish would already be dead.

LOL.

- Is this the goldfish that she got?

Whoever got that for her is lame.

- Oh.

It's a cute puppy.

I like puppies too.

- Going out tonight.

Time to find a cute daddy for my puppy.

- Who are you going out with?

No, it's...

It's probably best just to be nice.

Let me just...

Cute puppy.

- Period.

- Yeah, that's fine.

- What?

- Are this hard to get strategies?

Is this going too far, Lisa?

- Jeez, Jake, what are you doing?

- Why does it seem like you're more interested

in getting her attention than it is the other way around?

- How long have you been standing there?

- It's time for the events, sir.

- Okay.

[dramatic music]

[suspenseful music]

[indistinct chatter]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪ ♪

- Your ex-wife ordered a ball gown.

- My schemey ex-wife is here.

She better not say anything bad about me.

- Oh, these appetizers look good.

- Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

- You--what are you doing here?

- It's none of your beeswax.

- Oh.

- I don't work for you anymore.

And you made me drop my appetizer.

- Who are you here to meet?

Throwing this much skin,

trying to look so appetizing?

Fishing for a new husband?

- I'm definitely not fishing for you.

- You are always so difficult.

- And where am I supposed--

- Mr. and Mrs. Valentino.

♪ ♪

I'm Nicole. I'm the nurse at the hospital.

- Mrs. Valentino?

Oh!

♪ ♪

- What-- - Oh.

Oh, my mistake.

Excuse me.

- Yeah, it's fine.

- Yeah, it's fine.

♪ ♪

- Did I get the wrong person?

I see her at the hospital all the time

with Mr. Valentino Sr.

- This is the file you wanted on Lisa Samson.

- Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

- The secretary.

I-I haven't looked at it.

I find it a bit, um, creepy

to hire a private investigator to look into your coworkers.

- But she's married.

- I heard she just got divorced.

Is that why she's so hot and cold with me?

She's not ready for a new relationship?

♪ ♪

- Mr. and Mrs. Valentino.

- Your ex-wife ordered a ball gown.

- Looks like we need to pay my ex-wife a visit.

Let's go. - Sir.

♪ ♪

[playful music]

♪ ♪

- This is the house you left your ex-wife

after the divorce, sir.

- Oh.

[dog barking]

- Tam, you literally shit where you eat.

Just like him.

Surrounds himself with that piece of brown turd model.

[dog barking]

But--but you're a good boy.

Can't say a thing about that drunk face.

- She's talking about you, sir.

- Oh, that's way too rude.

- I thought you were here to see your ex-wife, sir.

- That's not her.

- Then who are you here to see?

- I can't tell whether I'm happy or disappointed

it's not that Lisa.

[birds chirping]

- Let's go.

[footsteps]

[playful music]

♪ ♪

[footsteps]

♪ ♪

- Is he here to see me?

[birds chirping]

[car engine revving]

- Mm.

- You're back?

I just walked your dog.

- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

- Can you believe that I ran into my shithead ex

twice in one night?

[knocking]

I don't understand why you just can't admit to him

that you're his ex-wife.

He's the one that owes you an apology.

- Okay, you're right, but I just...

♪ ♪

I don't know. I thought it would be a clean break.

Now...

I mean, he's always got my poopy pants hanging around.

- That's true, but he's a two-timing scumbag.

And we don't bother with scumbags.

Scumbags don't live in our head rent-free.

[laughs] You're right. - No.

- Okay, cheers to that. - Yeah.

[glasses clink]

Hey, now I'm back on the market.

- Yes, you are.

[both laugh]

[whistling]

- Mm.

♪ ♪

[whistling continues]

- What do you want?

- Samson, Mr. Valentino would like to kindly invite you

back to be his secretary.

[phone beeps]

[phone beeps]

- Are you gonna call her?

- Almost there, sir.

- Okay, keep him waiting.

- Samson, Mr. Valentino would like to kindly invite you

back to be his secretary.

[phone beeps]

- [screams]

- Samson, are you all right?

[phone beeps]

♪ ♪

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Give me the phone, give me the phone.

Lisa, Lisa, hey, can you hear me?

Talk to me.

- Uh, Mr. Valentino,

a girl who has self-respect doesn't do takesies-backsies.

So, bye!

- No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Lisa, what if I were to tell you

I can give you your own independent project?

In exchange, you come back and work for me,

secretary, for a month.

- Is he serious?

It would take years to get my own project as an engineer.

- So how does that sound?

Oh, and not to mention, it'll be good for your career

and the pay raise.

Maybe I can finally give back the $2 million check

and call it even.

All right, deal.

- [chuckles]

Well, hold on, hold on.

I thought you said no takesies-backsies a moment ago.

- Yeah, but there's a condition.

You know, if I don't feel like I'm being taken advantage of,

then it's open for discussion.

- Well, all right, then.

I will see you tomorrow.

- See you tomorrow.

[claps]

[clears throat]

♪ ♪

- Your tea.

- Welcome back, Lisa.

So, tell me,

did you block me?

♪ ♪

- [chuckles]

No.

No, definitely, definitely not block you.

- Did you know that you get extra loud

and animated when you lie?

- Did he hire me back just to torment me?

- Sir, we found out who drugged you.

- Who was it?

- Frank Dunst, the CEO of your rival company.

- Looks like we need to pay him a visit, then.

You're coming with me. Let's go.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Frank Dunst, the CEO of a rival company,

should be right inside.

- Why are we back here again?

♪ ♪

- Does he know that I'm the woman he spent the night with?

Bathroom!

♪ ♪

- Let's go.

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

Oh, my.

Iden Valentino.

- [chuckles]

- What can I do for you, chick?

♪ ♪

- Is that one of your goons?

Did he drug me on his own, or was it by your order?

♪ ♪

- Oh, hello, pretty.

♪ ♪

- Can I be frank?

- [chuckles]

- I would love that, Frank.

- Hello, pretty.

- Well, you got some nice rooms on the floor above us.

How about I give you a tour you won't forget?

- [laughs] Respectfully, no.

- [laughs]

Did I mention that I own this place?

- Oh, really?

- Mm.

- Well, in that case...

♪ ♪

- [grunts]

- You're gonna regret this!

♪ ♪

I'll show you real pain.

I'll show you real pain.

- Hey!

- [grunts]

- [grunts]

- [grunts]

- You okay?

- [grunts]

Don't you know who I am?

Frank Dunst is my brother-in-law.

- You idiot!

- [grunts] - Hey!

♪ ♪

If I recall correctly,

your wife is an only child.

And it's so heir to the Maple Fortune.

- So how do you suddenly have a brother-in-law?

And he doesn't look like part of the Maple family at all.

Are you cheating on your wife with his sister, sir?

- What do you want, Iden?

- Hmm.

The North Point Project.

I'm interested in this.

The North Point Project.

I'm interested in that.

- A hundred billion dollar project.

- That's right.

- [sighs]

All right.

I will withdraw my bid for it.

- And I also want an apology to my secretary now.

♪ ♪

- I'm sorry.

And I apologize on behalf of this--

- [grunts] - Idiot!

- My subordinates are all highly competent.

Unlike yours.

That's why I, as their superior, protect them.

- [grunts]

- Let's go.

♪ ♪

- I, um...

I wanted to thank you for saving me.

And, um...

Would you have done the same if it were a different girl?

- Nobody bullies you except for me.

- No one's allowed to bully me except you?

I'm sorry, what kind of sadistic line is that?

- Are you talking shit about me inside of your head again?

- [scoffs] No.

No, no!

I'm--I--I'm not!

[static]

[soft piano music]

♪ ♪

- Do you dance?

- Oh, um... [chuckles]

No, um, not anymore.

I mean, not--just not anymore.

♪ ♪

A gift.

From the company, not from me.

♪ ♪

[soft piano music]

- You really don't remember me anymore?

♪ ♪

- I do.

♪ ♪

No, he's so out of it.

I don't have anything left to do to you.

♪ ♪

- [screams]

- Oh, my God! - No, no!

Are you okay?

- Uh, I can't see.

I can't see.

- [grunts] - [screams]

- Oh, my leg!

- [grunts]

- [grunts]

- You two!

- Call the police! - Call the police!

- Mr. Valentino!

- We have to get you to safety.

- One second.

- [gasps]

- Here.

This is my family heirloom.

Come find me.

We really have to go.

- [grunts]

- [groans]

♪ ♪

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- How do you know I like dogs?

- He pays attention to me.

♪ ♪

- Ryan!

- Lisa!

- Mm-hmm.

- Hi.

Here, let me get this.

♪ ♪

- This looks good.

- Yeah, for tonight.

- Oh.

Okay.

I got us tickets to Sea Spawn Lake next weekend.

- What?

♪ ♪

- I left them at the office.

♪ ♪

- I knew you wanted to go out with me.

♪ ♪

- Wait, Lisa.

Why aren't you with the Valentinos

for the holidays this year?

- Because that jerk-faced ex-husband

didn't want to see me at all.

- Has that Iden Valentino been mean to you?

- No.

No, it's--it's great.

I mean, his grandpa loves me, okay?

And, like, he got me a designer purse.

- If it wasn't for my evil ex-girlfriend

who blackmailed me for $2 million,

she wouldn't have had to agree to that marriage contract anyway.

It's not my fault.

- No, it's not.

Hey, it's okay.

Ryan, it's not your fault.

♪ ♪

Why do you have a picture of Patricia Brown

on your dartboard?

- Is that what this criminal calls herself now?

You know, she's hiding from her crimes.

- She's the ex-girlfriend who blackmailed you?

She's the ex-girlfriend who blackmailed you?

That's why we owe $2 million?

- Lisa, don't get caught up in this anymore, okay?

Just--just live your happy marriage life.

That's all I want for you.

You've already done too much for me.

[cell phone buzzing]

[cell phone buzzing]

♪ ♪

- Grandpa Valentino's in the hospital. I have to go.

- Will you be back for dinner? - I don't know.

[cell phone beeping]

♪ ♪

Thankfully, Olga got your grandpa in time.

Iden Valentino, even if he doesn't want to see me,

he should still see his grandfather for the holidays.

♪ ♪

- What the hell are you doing here?

- He was with her again?

♪ ♪

- You're like a leech, huh?

Can't get rid of you.

- I haven't even started with you

about ruining my brother's life.

- What, I didn't slap you hard enough last time

so you came back for more?

- [sneezes] - [screams]

- Name your price.

- How much to get you away from Iden?

How much for you to leave Iden alone?

- One million?

- I'll pay you one million dollars to leave Iden alone.

That should be plenty for a peasant like you.

- Is that how much Iden Valentino is worth to you?

What a joke. - Five million.

- [scoffs]

Five trillion dollars.

Couldn't buy my love for Iden Valentino.

What do you know about Iden anyway?

He's allergic to peanuts.

He loves seafood and his evening runs.

Everyone thinks he's a cold, calculated businessman,

but he actually has a lot of soft spots, including puppies.

He's a dog person like me,

and if he sees a dog on his evening runs,

he will stop just so that he can play with it.

I will seduce Iden from you.

He's mine.

- Yeah!

- Iden.

- [clears throat]

- Awkward.

- What a confession, Lisa.

I didn't know you feel that way about me.

- Okay.

- Mrs. Valentino.

Oh, I mean, actually, what do I call you?

I'm Nicole. I'm the nurse at the hospital.

- Lisa. Lisa's totally fine.

- Oh, yeah, okay. - Thank you.

- I hope everything's okay.

- Yeah, yeah, no, sorry. I'm just a little tired.

- Oh, it's good to see you again.

- Yo, you too. You look great in your scrubs.

- Hi, baby. Hi.

- Grandpa.

- How you doing?

- Hi. Yeah.

Remember Lisa Sampson?

How about some sweet revenge?

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Jake, can you get Lisa in here? Thank you.

- You called for me?

- My God.

How can he be this hot?

- Can you please tie this tie for me?

- I--I don't know how to tie a tie, actually,

so you should have Jake help you out with that.

- Well, you are already in here,

so why don't you give it a shot?

- Fine.

[sighs]

- Just a little squeeze.

♪ ♪

[squeaks]

- You're not too good at this, are you?

- Mm-mm.

- I guess you have no one else to practice on.

- Well, do you have a lot of girls who tie your tie for you?

- No.

You're actually the first.

- Right.

I've got--I've got work, too, so, you know.

- Why were you at the hospital last night?

[dramatic music]

- I go for physical therapy sometimes.

- You have an injury?

- That's why I don't dance anymore.

- No reaction.

He really doesn't care.

I wasn't stalking you, by the way.

- Mm-mm. Sure.

- I mean it.

Like, all the stuff I said at the hospital,

that was just nonsense, you know?

I only said it 'cause your little girlfriend

was accusing me of trying to seduce you,

so I just--I just wanted to piss her off.

- Mm-mm.

So you didn't mean anything that you said?

- No.

No, of course not. I'm a professional.

- Yeah. Professional indeed.

I knew it.

- Thank you. Yeah, um...

I'm mindful of social boundaries.

- Right.

That'll be all, Ms. Samson.

- Yeah, I've--I've got--I've got work to do.

♪ ♪

- [scoffs]

- Sorry, Samson, but the boss said

these need to be done by tomorrow morning.

- He says, um...

- If she loves working so much,

then I'll give her twice the work.

She'll be thanking me.

♪ ♪

- Twice the work.

Does he know I have a real job?

I'm only his secretary,

and he's already torturing me this much?

Imagine what he would do

if he found out I was his despised ex-wife.

[sighs]

[phone ringing]

♪ ♪

- Mr. Valentino?

Mr. Valentino?

I'm here with those files that you asked for.

Holy shit, this place is nice.

[door opens]

♪ ♪

- You done touching?

- Yeah, uh, why--why--why are you naked, perv?

- [chuckles]

You break into my house,

and you start touching on my body,

and you call me a perv.

Interesting.

- You asked me to bring these files over to your house.

- No, I don't need those anymore.

- He just loves tormenting me.

- But now that you're here,

why don't you join me for a drink?

Cheers.

- Cheers.

[glasses clink]

♪ ♪

- That's okay.

I'm not really drinking right now anyway,

and, uh, I've--I've really overloaded with...

stuff for the rest of the night, so...

I'm just gonna leave the files here

in case you need them, and, um...

Yeah, I'll head back.

- Well, hold on, wait one second.

I mean, it's late. I'll give you a ride home.

- Oh, no, no, that's okay.

I have a ride arranged, so...

- Okay.

- See you later?

- See you.

- I bid you good eve, sir.

♪ ♪

- It's a pool. - It's a pool.

- Yeah, that was my next guess.

- Yeah.

[phone beeps]

[dog barking]

- Mm-hmm.

[chuckles]

Why do rich people always live in places without a service?

[sighs]

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, how am I supposed to get a fucking Uber right now?

[siren wailing]

[gasps]

[grunts]

[gasps]

You.

What are you doing here?

♪ ♪

[gasps]

That's for trying to steal Aiden from me.

And after tonight, he's never gonna want to touch you again.

Because we're covering up your face.

♪ ♪

- This was my family heirloom.

Couldn't find me.

- Where did you get that necklace?

♪ ♪

Where did you get that necklace?

- Oh, this?

This is a token of Aiden's love.

- Jealous?

You better enjoy your last few moments not being Scarface.

♪ ♪

- Don't come near me.

I'm--I'm Aiden Valentino's wife.

You don't want to mess with me. You don't want--

- Quit bluffing.

You were just his secretary last week.

- [grunts]

[both grunting]

- Don't. Don't.

[both laughing]

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't.

- Hey!

Hey!

- [grunts]

[both panting]

- You okay?

- What took you so long?

[sobbing]

- Dump his body at the Maple residence.

Tell Charlotte Maple that her husband is cheating on her.

- Let's see how Dunst can afford his vermin

without his wife's money.

- And Patricia Brown, too.

- They--they kidnapped her, too?

- No, she was working with the men who hurt me.

- No, no, no, you must be imagining this.

We didn't see her when we came in.

- I didn't.

- What? - Listen to me.

- Look, look, I know you guys are at odds,

but--but she wouldn't do this.

- Fine.

Thanks for saving me.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Look, look, I'll take you back.

Come on, I'll take you back.

- No, no. - Okay?

Lisa!

- [sobbing]

♪ ♪

- Lisa!

I'm sorry!

Please, I just want to talk for a second.

Lisa, please!

♪ ♪

Lisa!

♪ ♪

- [gasping]

♪ ♪

- Ryan.

Four years ago, I borrowed my necklace.

Patricia Brown stole it.

- She ransacked the house.

It must have been her.

I'm sorry, sis, everything is my fault.

Is this necklace important to you?

Can--can I get you another one?

♪ ♪

- [sighs]

♪ ♪

- I thought you said you're not drinking anymore.

And you finished a whole bottle yourself?

What's going on?

♪ ♪

- I got kidnapped.

♪ ♪

- So that piece of crap Brown

took your necklace to pose as you,

your husband's actual savior?

- No, get this.

She's also the one who framed Ryan

for her hit-and-run,

and that's why we owe the $2 million.

- That bitch.

She did everything to get closer to Aydin.

- Yeah. - You've got to do something.

- Like what?

♪ ♪

- He believes her completely.

And if I had any evidence at all,

I wouldn't have had to sign the marriage contract.

She's got the necklace.

Like, I don't even think I can call him a scumbag anymore

'cause he thinks that she's me.

- Take your man back.

- Take my man back?

- Yeah.

[phone buzzing]

- It's Aydin.

- Mm.

- Hello?

This is the Irish Pub.

This lady is drunk.

Please come and pick her up as soon as possible.

- What was that?

- Uh, you know-- - Now what?

What are we gonna do?

- Well, now we're gonna go to the Irish Pub

and get you changed.

- We're gonna go to the Irish Pub?

- Uh-huh, yes, we are.

Come on.

[phone ringing]

- Hey, I have a couple.

There's--oh, just hang on.

- You're the most cars in the world

than anybody else.

- There you go.

All righty.

Let's get this seatbelt on you.

There, boom, okay.

- [laughs]

- All right.

- Mm. - All right.

Oh.

You actually look sweet when you're asleep.

Because when you're awake,

you're like a tiger always chewing me out.

- [meows]

- Oh.

- I'm gonna eat you up.

- Yeah.

Yeah, we can get something to eat.

[car horn honking]

- [grunts]

Hey, go on, just take a nap.

I'll drive.

[car horn honking]

- Okay.

[car horn honking]

- Oh, uh, Lisa, where do you actually live?

[car door opens]

- Lisa.

[car horn honking]

- Okay, I'll just take you back to my house.

[car horn honking]

[car door closes]

[car horn honking]

[car horn honking]

[car horn honking]

Okay, there you go.

And I'm taking you to my place

just because, frankly, I don't know where you live.

And I'm not gonna do anything wrong.

[car horn honking]

Be mindful of social boundaries, Ida.

Don't do anything stupid.

She's under the influence.

I'm just gonna go.

- Okay.

- Wait, Lisa.

[car horn honking]

Please be mindful of social boundaries, okay?

[car horn honking]

[car horn honking]

[car horn honking]

Lisa, if you go any lower,

then I'm gonna have to cut your pay in half.

[car horn honking]

[upbeat music]

Lisa!

Oh!

[panting]

If I knew that you were gonna be like this,

I would have left you to your own devices.

♪ ♪

My, oh, my.

Samson?

Did you two spend the night together?

- Jake, where are my morning meeting notes?

- Got 'em.

♪ ♪

[giggling]

- That's right.

Take your man back.

♪ ♪

- Hmm.

- I made you coffee.

- You know how I prefer tea now, right?

- But this is my special coffee.

- Okay.

♪ ♪

Yeah, it's pretty good.

- You've got, um, foam...

on your lips.

- Well, why don't you...

♪ ♪

Why don't you quit all the bells and whistles

and go make me a normal tea?

♪ ♪

- Jake liked my latte art.

- Oh, you made Jake latte hearts?

- Uh, no, his--his was a leaf.

Only you got the heart.

I made you lunch, too.

- You made me lunch? - Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

- So, do you need to take a break?

- No time to break, Olga.

Patricia Brown says I'm his divorcee

and needs you to take up with his secretary.

I have to stop at all costs.

Onward, Olga, onward!

♪ ♪

- Dave and I last year.

You got it?

- But, sir, what if they're in a meeting?

- Doesn't matter. Onward, Olga, onward.

[door opens]

[door closes]

- That right there.

♪ ♪

Grandpa.

- What is it, Dad?

- Don't mind me.

Come by to visit sometime for dinner.

- Okay, Grandpa, will do.

♪ ♪

- Come on, Olga.

♪ ♪

- It seems like Grandpa likes you.

- I--I seem a bit fast, though, sometimes.

- Hmm.

♪ ♪

[snaps fingers]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- You dare steal a kiss from me?

♪ ♪

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- Mr. Valentin?

♪ ♪

- Jay, this better be very important,

or I'm cutting your pay in half.

What is it?

- Miss--Miss Brown just called.

♪ ♪

- [sighs]

♪ ♪

- Hey.

- She needs you at the police station right now.

- The police station?

♪ ♪

- Sorry you had to come get me like this, sis.

- Why would you go stalking Patricia Brown?

You know that is a crime, Brian.

- Why am I not surprised?

You two are siblings?

Trailer trash ass family.

- You ruined my life.

- Hey, Brian, stop. Don't.

- Blame your own stupidity, not me.

- Do you even know who I am?

- What do you mean?

- Do you know who you stole that necklace from

four years ago?

- What do you--

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- Hey. - Hey, what is going on?

- Aiden, they're harassing me.

- She's dating Aiden Valentino now?

- You know what? You know what?

- Hey, hey, stop.

- Hey, hey, stop.

- Don't hurt him.

- I apologize on his behalf.

- You're apologizing to me for him.

- He's never known you to back down on me before.

- Why are you apologizing to him?

- Do you want to end up back in there?

- He's cheating on you.

- Let's go.

- Come on, Aiden, they're disgusting.

- Aiden, I knew you'd save me

from those trailer trash siblings.

- Wait, what?

They're siblings?

- Brian?

- Oh, my gosh, Brian, you suck.

- Yeah, they're both losers.

- Wait, Aiden, how am I supposed to get around?

- Lisa, wait, wait!

Lisa!

- Someone decided to go back into trouble.

- It's--

- No, no.

Leave behind your cheating husband.

Miss Samson, for ditching work without cause,

I require an in-person explanation at my office.

Stat?

- Yeah, he's got issues.

- Divorce him already.

Why are you still with him?

- We're already divorced.

- Oh, you're good.

I mean, if it wasn't for my blunders in the first place,

you wouldn't have had to marry him.

- It's not about that.

- But now you're free, right?

So I can set you up on some blind dates?

- Yeah, please don't.

- Why not?

Come on, everybody asks me about you.

- Oh, I'm sure.

- You're bound to meet one good one out of the bunch.

- Brian.

- Come on, please?

For me?

- For you?

- For me?

- Coming by later to check out

some of the wiring in this room?

- Yeah, I think we could widen the room,

make more space, easily for a couple units a week.

- Budget reports from the past month

from the finance department.

- Thank you, and I would--

- Is that a new skirt, Samson?

You going on a date later?

- Excuse me.

Hi, Queen's Restaurante?

7 p.m.?

- Thank you.

- Can't wait.

- You know, I'm so happy that Samson

decided to go on this date.

You know, getting back on the dating scene

is kind of exciting.

Gosh, and she had that new skirt.

The way that she was talking with that guy on the phone,

she must have been pretty excited.

She must be successful.

- I need a table at Queen's Restaurante,

because we are treating some friends to dinner tonight.

- What friends?

- I have friends.

- Yeah, that's me.

- Oh, great.

- I look better in real life, though, huh?

So, Ms. Samson, I hear you are a divorcee,

which I think is very hot, and, you know, I'll tell you.

If it wasn't for my aunt's next-door neighbor's

brother's cousin,

I would not be doing this blind date crap.

- We don't have to do this again.

- Ah, no, no, no, don't worry about it.

Don't play hard to get already.

Just, you know, relax, enjoy your meal.

It's all good.

I will tell you,

I make $3,000 a month.

I can afford to get you a nice meal.

It's all good.

- There's really no need.

- Ah, forget about it.

Listen, I have a very spacious,

300-square-foot studio apartment

that I lease if you get my drift.

When we's a married,

you don't gotta worry about work or nothing.

I can give you an allowance, like, I don't know,

$200 a month, something like that.

What do you think about that?

- Yeah, I make six figures.

I'm an engineer.

We could go buy a Tesla when we're done here.

- Come on, you're joking with me.

- No, I'm really not.

Yeah, your meal's on me.

- Ah, listen, don't mess with me, lady.

Look, I know that you are divorced,

but you think you can do better than me?

Get out of here.

What the hell is this?

We didn't order nothing?

What, are you trying to bum a meal off of me?

- Mr. Sumtree.

- Hello, Lisa.

I own half the restaurants on this side of town.

Mister, the bill for this table

has already been paid for

by Ida and Valentino.

For this table has already been paid for

by Ida and Valentino.

He says Miss Samson deserves only the best.

[laughs]

- What the hell kind of name is Ida?

- Let me know if you find out.

- Ha.

- Thanks.

- Okay, fine.

Then I'm gonna eat.

With Lisa gone, your bill is $1,250.

- Dude. - What?

- Real funny watching you get embarrassed again, isn't it?

- Hey! - No, you and Mr. Sumtree again, huh?

- You kiss me and you go on a date with another guy.

How is that fair? - What, and you're any better?

Patricia Brown feels like something happens,

and so then you swoop in and immediately take her side.

- So what's the jealousy about? - Anything.

- Okay, fine. - Hey, hey!

You okay?

Look, there's nothing between Patricia and I.

It's only because she saved my life four years ago--

- You can't hear this.

- I'll make sure everything matches code.

Oh, also, if you plan on remarrying Miss Samson,

you would need to make sure-- - Wait, wait, hang on.

Remarry?

- Yeah, I saw you two together the other night.

- The other night? I don't-- - At 7-7.

- Here are those copies you ordered.

- Mrs. Valentino!

You hired your ex-wife as your secretary?

- My ex-wife?

Lisa, please tell me that this is just another misunderstanding.

- No. I am your ex-wife.

- So I'm just the real joke here?

The fool chasing you around, running around, saving you.

Have you been playing me this whole time?

- No. - I mean, even the nurse called you Miss Valentino.

I even went to your house, and I saw another woman.

- Okay, if you had cared about me even one tiny little bit,

you would have known what I looked like.

You didn't even know my name.

- So this is just revenge, then. - On who? Myself?

- Lisa Samson. - Aiden Valentino!

- Oh, okay, so I can't even have a coffee now?

I mean, how could she be my skinny ex-wife?

- What's wrong?

- What's wrong? What do you do every day, Jake?

I asked for a file on Lisa Samson. Where is it?

- My first secretary, sir. - You tell me!

- I already gave it to you!

- Not seeing anything in here. - It's right here.

- You found it.

- Huh. Paradise Villa Number 12.

That's the same address as Lisa...

Shit. Shit! Shit!

- I'm gonna kill you, Jake!

You...

- Just look on the bright side, sir.

Lisa Samson is at least not this skinny, conniving gold digger that you described her as.

- I've never described her as that!

- But why did she need to hold back for this entire time?

Perhaps she was looking for an opportunity to uncover your dark secrets

so that she could extort you for more money.

- Jesus! Lisa isn't like that!

- Okay.

She's a Russian spy.

- That's gotta be it! - Overactive imagination again, Jake.

- I don't wanna talk about that.

- Sir, you never know.

We've only really known her for about a month.

- I know my Lisa.

She's not like that.

- Lisa.

- Phew.

Are those flowers for Lisa Samson?

- Sure are.

- Oh!

What are you doing, sir?

- Those flowers are ugly. I need ten fresh bouquets from the Netherlands. Now!

- More for me.

- Hey, hey, hey, Lisa, um, why don't I just give you a ride home?

- No, thanks.

- Grandpa Valentino!

- Lisa, come back tonight with Iden for dinner.

I will not rest until you do.

I will not rest until you do.

- The car's ready, sir. - Thank you.

- Thanks for the ride, Mr. Valentino.

- Anytime.

- Sir, you asked me to call your grandpa.

You knew that Lisa would for sure say yes?

- I knew she respects my grandpa too much. She couldn't say no.

- But you always said, um,

she always knew to suck up to grandpa to manipulate him.

- That's a pretty trick.

- So do you plan to pursue Lisa Samson for reals this time?

- No, who said anything about pursuing her?

I thought I'd just give her a chance, since she likes me.

- Thank you, Olga.

Cheers.

We're all finally here together as a family.

- Cheers.

Oh, and we'll be coming back to visit you, grandpa.

Together.

- That's fantastic.

Why don't you two stay the night then?

- Yeah, we'd love to.

- Honey, why don't you try one of these grapes?

I know how you like them.

Grandpa's watching.

- Oh, there you go.

- Mmm.

- Mmm.

- If you want to fill me up, you can do that.

All night long.

If you want to fill me up, you can do that.

All night long.

- I'm no longer hungry, actually.

Thank you so much for dinner.

- What are you doing still eating?

This is your chance.

Go!

Go!

- I think some grandchildren are in play, Olga.

Cheers.

Thirsty, aren't we?

- Cheers.

- Wasn't this the wedding gift that Molly got me?

There is literally nothing here.

What am I supposed to wear to bed?

- What are you looking for?

- Nothing.

What are you doing here?

- Doing you.

- Perfect.

Is it to make Grandpa happy?

Unless you want to sleep on the floor tonight?

- Uh, no way.

We never stay over, so I always sleep in the bed.

Why should I get the floor now?

- Well, we can both sleep in the bed.

I don't mind it.

Well, we can both sleep in the bed.

I don't mind it.

Fuck.

Jake?

- Lisa, is Mr. Valentino there?

- This better be good, Jake, or you're not getting your bonus this year.

- Mr. Norton had a sudden change in plans

and will be leaving town tomorrow afternoon.

That means that we will have to move his meeting up to tomorrow morning,

so you and Lisa will need to do some O.T.

- Thank you.

[knocking]

- Not even gonna cover the important stuff.

[gasps]

[gasps]

[sobs]

[sobs]

- Good night.

Leave me a boy or a girl.

Leave your dad, he can accept you.

You should tell him.

You should tell him.

- Hi.

- Patricia, you can't keep sneaking up on me like that.

What are you doing? - Okay, well,

I found a new doctor. Will you come with me?

- No, I don't have time to go to the doctor's office today.

- Okay.

Well, if Dr. Richards can fix me up,

this'll be the last time you ever have to deal with me. Please?

- Okay, yes, let's go.

- Oh, no.

Lisa! You're pregnant?

Whose bastard baby is this?

- You're pregnant?

Who's the man? - Oh.

- You're pregnant? Who's the man?

- You wouldn't want to shake the baby.

The father wouldn't like that too much.

- Lisa, is there somebody else?

Is there somebody else?

- I could ask you the same.

- Ah! I did my leg, it's hurting.

I need to go to the doctor now.

- Let's go.

- That's Lisa. Should we give her a ride?

- No need. - No?

Sir, she's gonna get sick like this. - Start the car.

- Ivan Valentino, you're a dick!

You're a dick, that's all you'll ever be!

- I don't want to end up with that baby, baby.

- So as of the reports that I sent over to you guys from Robert,

our numbers are up from last time this year,

thanks to Mr. Valentino's efforts here.

So we have a...

- Sorry, I'm late. - No excuses.

- Hey, hey.

(soft music)

- Do you have a fever, Lisa? - Fine.

- Look, anyone that's late is still excluded.

Go outside and get some rest.

I don't want you getting anyone else in this office sick.

- Fine.

- See you later, girl.

(sighs)

- Mr. Valentino.

My letter of resignation.

My letter of resignation.

- You've always wanted to do your own independent projects, right?

Focus on that.

Give your secretarial duties to Tom,

and take some time off.

Go to the hospital, okay?

- What do you mean?

- I mean...

you don't really intend to have that baby, right?

- You don't get to decide what I do with my body or my baby.

- You really love that man that much?

- That's none of your business.

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To Mr. Valentino ♪

- Blow out the candles, Grandpa.

- Yay!

I'll go cut the cake.

- I can celebrate my birthday with the both of you together this time.

If only by next year,

we could add a little bundle of joy.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Is she pregnant?

- Lisa.

(Lisa sighs)

(Lisa sighs)

- It doesn't feel good, does it?

(Lisa coughs)

- Stop! - What?

You'll carry somebody else's child, but won't even let me touch you.

What the fuck is even that, huh?

(Lisa grunts)

- I've had enough of your penance.

- Screw the fuck up.

(children screaming)

- Hello! - Wait a minute.

- Look, everyone, it's your slutty secretary.

- Did you know she actually tried to sleep with the boss,

but now she's pregnant with some random stranger's bastard baby.

Do you even know who the father is?

- Okay.

(Lisa screams)

- If you want to expose me, she lied about my brother and--

- Hey! Her scar is fake!

You're a fraud!

And to think I believed in you all this time.

- Stop it.

- You ruined me!

(Lisa screams)

- Hey! Lisa, Lisa, Lisa! - I didn't!

- Are you okay? Are you okay?

- I didn't! - Jake, call an ambulance now!

- I didn't! She's faking! She fell by herself!

She's a lying bitch!

- She's suffering from high fever and physical trauma.

It doesn't look very stable for the fetus.

- I'll try my best.

- Well, I guess we can have more in the future.

But, doctor, can you just save them both?

- I'll try my best.

- I'll be right back.

- Okay.

- It's brown.

- You know what to do.

You know what to do.

- The patient is in a critical state. We need to operate now.

- Well, what's going on?

Lisa Sampson doesn't have a scheduled operation.

She doesn't need one.

- If you want to keep your job, you better keep your mouth shut.

- Mr. Valentino, you have to save Lisa.

- What's happening?

What's happening?

Where am I?

- We've had some complications. We need to operate on you.

- No, this isn't right.

Who are you working for? Stop! No! No! No! Stop!

No! No! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

No, I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant with Aiden Valentino's child! Stop!

- Lisa!

It's okay. I got you. Lisa, Lisa. Hey, hey, hey.

You're okay.

- Murderer.

- Jake, let's go.

Sit him down.

So, tell me, Doctor, or I'll get your license revoked.

- It was...

It was all Patricia Brown.

She blackmailed me.

And forced me to operate on Lisa Sampson.

And...

- And what?

And what?

And forge x-rays of her broken leg.

Patricia Brown's leg is actually perfectly fine.

So I switched her x-rays with someone else's.

- I checked the database.

It looks like he swapped Patricia Brown's x-rays with Lisa Sampson's.

So that means that Patricia has been lying to me this entire time.

It means that Lisa...

Lisa!

What did she tell you?

- Patricia, stop. You don't want to do this.

If you push me off, if you push me off,

they'll send you to prison for murder.

If you push me off, they'll send you to prison for murder.

- I don't think so.

I think it'll just look like a suicide out of shame for having a bastard baby.

- I saved Aiden. And he will believe me.

- Why? - Because I have the necklace.

- No! Give it back!

- You blackmailed my brother for two million dollars.

You can have it back for my dead body.

- That'll have to work. - No.

Patricia, stop. No!

[screaming]

- Lisa.

- This is all your fault.

- It's okay. Okay.

- Lisa.

Lisa, please forgive me.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Patricia Brown, famous supermodel, is arrested for attempted murder.

- Finally! Justice is served.

[phone ringing]

- Hey, Ryan.

- Sis, did you see the news?

Patricia Brown will finally rot in prison for all her crimes.

- Yeah, I saw.

- Also, that ex-husband of yours, he's been coming over every day after work.

- Why?

- He asked me about you. You know, your childhood, your dreams.

He knows you're the girl he saved in college now.

And he also paid off all our debts.

You know, this house was a gift from Grandpa.

I never even came in it all these years.

Now I can't even enter it, even if I wanted to.

- Let's go.

- Oh, it's from Aydin.

For you and the baby.

- More maturity gifts again?

As if we can't get those things ourselves.

- I'm gonna go get 'em.

[music]

- Lisa.

Lisa.

Did you know that your brother is a total drill sergeant?

He had me doing tours all day just so I could get a couple more details about you.

And now I have some serious respect for housewives.

- Is that what you came here to tell me?

- No, I, um...

Lisa.

I was blind and dumb and a horrible husband to you.

And I know how disappointing and hurtful that can be.

And I neglected you, and I'm sorry about that.

But I promise you, I will be better.

Will you please give me another chance?

- What about the baby?

You said it was a bastard child.

- I know, I...

Will you please come with me?

- That's...

That's Odette's costume. - Mm-hmm.

- From Swan Lake. - Yeah.

I know you broke your leg to save my life.

But I will get the best doctor in the world to tend to it.

So you can dance on the world stage again.

And...

Next time you won't have to buy a ticket.

You'll be performing, and I'll be on the front row.

- Did you steal these off my dolls?

- And, uh, about the baby.

Whatever you decide, I'll respect your decision.

And I'll love it all the same, even if we have kids later.

- Sir! Wait, wait!

- Jake, do you want to get fired? What are you doing?

- Just listen. - That's the woman!

She gave me this phone before she left the resort.

Take it, sell it on eBay if you don't want it.

- Maria had just retired from that job after that day

and then went on a trip.

That's why it took so long to find her.

- This is my old phone.

So you're the mysterious woman this whole time.

My God, that means that I'm...

- The baby is yours.

- Oh.

Well, what are you waiting for, punk?

Put a ring on it before she runs away again.

- [laughs]

- I never gave you the proposal that you deserved.

Let me try again.

Will you marry me?

Will you marry me?

For real this time.

- Yes. - Yes?

- Yes. Yes, I will marry you.

Again.

[laughs]

[applause]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[BLANK_AUDIO]