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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:17,482 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪ 2 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,418 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 3 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,286 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 4 00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:24,256 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 5 00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,724 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 6 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:28,093 ♪ People spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪ 7 00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:30,729 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 8 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,366 ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ 9 00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:38,137 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪ 10 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,840 ♪♪ 11 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,341 [ Thunder crashes ] 12 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,177 CRYSTAL: [ Screams ] 13 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,812 Mommy! 14 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:50,215 Mommy! 15 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,551 He's gonna get me! 16 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,319 Honey, honey, who's gonna get you? 17 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,455 The president! I saw him! 18 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,190 He's gonna get me! 19 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,126 Crystal, the president isn't going to get you. 20 00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:02,294 But I saw him! 21 00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:03,829 See what I told you? 22 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:05,330 It's that liberal school she's going to, 23 00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:07,632 filling her head with all kinds of garbage. 24 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:10,836 Sweetie, the president is doing the best job he can. 25 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,671 Your liberal school is just trying 26 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,139 to convince you he's dangerous. 27 00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:15,474 But -- But, Daddy, he's gonna -- 28 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,675 Unh-unh. No "buts." 29 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,577 The president is in the White House, 30 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:21,346 not here trying to get you, okay? 31 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,815 Okay. All right. 32 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,284 We're having a talk with that school in the morning. 33 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,720 Goodnight, honey. 34 00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,258 [ Thunder crashes ] 35 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:40,599 ♪♪ 36 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:43,335 Hey! How are my approval ratings? 37 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,403 [ Screams ] 38 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,239 [ Thunder rumbles ] 39 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,673 REPORTER: And the latest reports are now saying 40 00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:50,442 that over a million Canadians 41 00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,611 were killed in the nuclear blast. 42 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,713 The bomb dropped by the U.S. President 43 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,748 took out the entire city of Toronto 44 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,251 and fallout is expected to kill thousands more 45 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,551 in the coming days. 46 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,591 Ike. 47 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,927 Ike, I'm sorry that I... 48 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,164 'caused a nuclear bomb to be dropped on Canada. 49 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,365 I was just -- 50 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,699 You know, I was just trying 51 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,601 to get shows that were toxic taken down. 52 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,537 You know, those shows can be really harmful. 53 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,405 Oh, stop being a victim. 54 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,574 Jesus Christ! 55 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,715 BOB: What I want to know is what gives you the right 56 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:33,852 to preach your political views to my children?! 57 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,321 Our daughter woke up with nightmares 58 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,623 that the president was going to get her. 59 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,625 Just because two liberals happen to be 60 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,227 principal and vice principal 61 00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:44,663 doesn't mean you can brainwash my kids! 62 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,565 Uh, we sort of have some bigger problems 63 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,933 right now, Mister, uh... 64 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,968 It's White. Bob White. 65 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,571 You've probably never even heard of our family, huh? 66 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:55,440 Well, the Whites have been here since the beginning! 67 00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:56,741 Not that it matters. 68 00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:58,510 'Cause no one cares about the Whites! 69 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,378 Sure, everyone else has problems, 70 00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:03,215 but does anyone ever ask the Whites how they're doing? 71 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,283 Mr. White, we assure you that we run the school 72 00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,319 in a very... professional manner 73 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,621 and don't let... personal emotions 74 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,823 get in the way. 75 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,758 Oh, sure you don't! 76 00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,260 You know how hard I had to fight 77 00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:16,795 to even get this meeting with you? 78 00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,997 "Oh, who wants to talk to the administration?" 79 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,665 "Oh, it's just the Whites?" 80 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,867 "Aw, who cares about the Whites? They're fine." 81 00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:25,937 Well, we've just about had it you... 82 00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:30,642 ♪ If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right ♪ 83 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,544 ♪ I don't wanna be right ♪ 84 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:36,481 ...and, damn it, we won't be ignored! 85 00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:38,250 I'm sorry. Is anyone else hearing 86 00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:41,786 "(If Loving You is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right" 87 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:43,555 Uh, no. Mr. and Mrs. White, 88 00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:46,324 we promise that we will not let anything happen 89 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:50,962 that might bring the integrity of this school into question. 90 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:53,799 Guess that's all the Whites can hope for these days. 91 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,374 [ Thunder crashes ] 92 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:16,321 Hey! 93 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:17,689 [ Screams ] 94 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:18,957 How are my approval ratings? 95 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:21,426 It's the president! [ Screams ] 96 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:24,829 Wait, come back! What's wrong?! 97 00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:27,332 Still no word from the president 98 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,434 as his 'Splatty Tomato' approval rating 99 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:32,704 drops to an unprecedented 3%. 100 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,673 This puts the president four points below 101 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,542 "Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature." 102 00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:39,544 Meanwhile, the Canadian Prime Minister, 103 00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:42,647 Justin Trudeau, called upon Canadians to stand strong. 104 00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:46,017 Make no mistake, America. 105 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:48,553 If you do not hand over your president, 106 00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:51,056 there will be war the likes of which you have never seen. 107 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:54,059 Canadians will rise together. 108 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,861 I call on all Canadians here and abroad 109 00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:59,397 to stand with their country. 110 00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:02,067 The U.S. President must answer for his crime. 111 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:05,503 And only Canada can bring him to justice. 112 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:11,076 ♪♪ 113 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,712 [ Shudders, whimpers ] 114 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:16,481 There, there, Tweek. Everything is gonna be okay. 115 00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:19,551 I saw what I saw, Craig! You have to believe me! 116 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,486 What's going on? 117 00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:23,421 Tweek's having a panic attack. 118 00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,724 It was real! He tried to get me! 119 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:26,725 Who did? 120 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,494 The president! 121 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:32,597 It's just your imagination, Tweek. 122 00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,866 It's not his imagination. 123 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:37,135 I saw him, too. 124 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,737 You saw the president? 125 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,939 Out by the quarry, but I didn't believe it. 126 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,774 I said, "How could this be --" 127 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:45,110 The president? I saw him, too. 128 00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,579 He had a blue suit and an orange face. 129 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,581 He kept asking me, "How are my --" 130 00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:52,150 TOKEN: "How are my approval ratings?" 131 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,819 I saw him, too. 132 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,855 Dude, isn't this all really familiar? 133 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,156 I saw something just like this 134 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,592 on that show called "Stranger --" 135 00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:03,461 "Stranger Things." 136 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:07,098 "Stranger Things" is the show. I saw it, too. 137 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,901 But wait, isn't "Stranger Things" just like that movie -- 138 00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,603 Just like that movie "It." 139 00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,505 You saw it, too? 140 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,607 Yeah, I saw it in the theater. 141 00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:18,410 I saw "Stranger Things" and "It." 142 00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,080 Jesus. 143 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,649 I don't think anyone's imagining anything. 144 00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:26,551 I think the president is here. 145 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:27,986 You kids get inside somewhere. 146 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:31,489 I have to warn the town. 147 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:32,957 Ugh! 148 00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:36,494 [ Indistinct chatter, shouting ] 149 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,029 All right, people. People, please. 150 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,565 We need everyone to try and stay calm. 151 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,133 How can we stay calm when the president's 152 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,835 out there scaring our children?! 153 00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:46,471 Look, we all want the president out of here. 154 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:48,206 It's just a matter of how we do it. 155 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,642 I know you all want to get rid of him. 156 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,210 That's not true. 157 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,845 The Whites still support the president! 158 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,114 Oh, for fuck's sake, White, he's running around 159 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,583 eating our pets and terrorizing our kids! 160 00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,518 You think Hillary would have been any better? 161 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:01,653 [ Shouting, booing ] 162 00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:02,887 MAN: Just sit down, Bob! 163 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,989 I'm just sayin'! I'm just sayin'! 164 00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:07,592 Listen, everyone. I have a team right now 165 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,227 that's trying to locate the president, 166 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,962 and I'd like you to hear from Officer Bright, 167 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,864 who's leading the search. 168 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,000 Hey, folks. We know you're all concerned, 169 00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,570 but I want to assure you that we are doing everything we can 170 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,005 to track the president down and have him safely removed. 171 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,208 Since the president was given a splatty tomato, 172 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:26,044 he's become very desperate and very dangerous. 173 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:29,113 If you see the president, do not approach him. 174 00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:31,483 Do not try to reason with him. 175 00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:34,586 Most importantly, remember that this is the president, 176 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,921 so you cannot shoot him. All right? 177 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,157 You can't even talk about shooting him. 178 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,725 Don't even... 179 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,662 do any coy satirical takes on shooting him. 180 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,065 Okay, good. 181 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,766 What we're trying to do here 182 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,802 is just get the president to go away. 183 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:53,104 We're gonna be handing out padlocks like this one 184 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,973 so everyone can lock up their garbage. 185 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,775 If we don't feed the president, hopefully he'll just move on. 186 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,244 Are there any questions? 187 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,913 Can we talk about a friend shooting him 188 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,215 if it's in a sort of a sarcastic way? 189 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,217 No, no, no. Now, it's - it's just best 190 00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,586 to avoid that kind of talk altogether. 191 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:09,954 Remember, they can do to you 192 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,256 what they did to Kathy Griffin. 193 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,124 Made her not funny for 30 years? 194 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,792 That's right. 195 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,594 So best thing is just lock up your garbage 196 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:19,598 and see if we can get the president to go away. 197 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:24,936 Jesus. 198 00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,271 Now kids are going missing. 199 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,972 We're all gonna be missing soon! 200 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,542 [ Exclaims ] 201 00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,110 Kyle! 202 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,246 It's my fault. 203 00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,782 Ike went to go take matters into his own hands. 204 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,050 I have to find him. 205 00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,985 We'll help you. 206 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,587 We'll all help you. 207 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,289 Guys, this could be really dangerous. 208 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,924 You're not going. 209 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,692 You promised tonight we'd have a date night. 210 00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,594 Darling, this is a little more pressing than date night. 211 00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:51,796 Oh, great. 212 00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,032 So, Kyle's stupid brother goes missing, and I get fucked. 213 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,768 How come I'm always the one getting shit on around here? 214 00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,703 I don't need anyone to go with me. 215 00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,305 Oh, what's the matter, Kyle? 216 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,673 Don't want me around because you had the hots for me 217 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,675 and I shut you down? 218 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:07,011 I would never have the hots for the person you are now. 219 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,313 STAN: Come on, you guys. 220 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,214 Look, we all know what we're supposed to do now. 221 00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:12,650 We all saw "It" and "Stranger Things." 222 00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:14,752 We need to get our backpacks and go out to woods 223 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:17,589 and save the town from evil to some kick-ass '80s' music! 224 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:23,127 ♪♪ 225 00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,629 Hello, joining us for lunch today? 226 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,130 Uh, yes. 227 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:27,865 We are here with our student of the day 228 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,233 to reward him lunch 229 00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:30,301 with the principal and vice principal. 230 00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:32,036 We have a reservation. 231 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,805 Okay, last name? 232 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:34,839 Woman. 233 00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,941 First name. 234 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:39,043 Strong. 235 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,712 Oh, yes, Strong Woman, here we are. 236 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,914 We have a nice booth set up for you. 237 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,251 We can't keep doing this. 238 00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:49,020 People are gonna see through it. 239 00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,622 Is it my fault that I found 240 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,290 the most amazing, perfect, beautiful woman... 241 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,324 at work? 242 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:55,727 Nobody will understand. 243 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,995 Maybe they will. 244 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,830 We're co-workers who are in love. 245 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:01,199 You really that's going to bother people? 246 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,936 Well, should we order now? 247 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:19,250 [ Whistles softly ] 248 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,184 RANDY: What are you doing, Bob? 249 00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:22,053 Aah! 250 00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:23,988 Have you been putting food out for the president? 251 00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:25,690 No, I was just, uh, 252 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,425 taking these finger sandwiches to the trash. 253 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,328 We all agreed not to feed him so he'd go away. 254 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,664 We didn't all agree! You all agreed! 255 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,732 Nobody asked the Whites how they felt! 256 00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,768 Nobody cares what the Whites have to say! 257 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,369 Bob, come on. 258 00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,338 You have to know it's not safe to have him here. 259 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:42,740 In 2003, Hillary Clinton admitted 260 00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:44,208 to taking funds for her foundation 261 00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:46,044 from foreign diplomats! 262 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,012 What's that got to do with anything, Bob? Come on. 263 00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:49,847 It's fucking true! 264 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:52,917 Bob, if Canada finds out the president is hiding here, 265 00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,986 they are going to nuke us. 266 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,754 He needs to go. 267 00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:59,057 Hillary wouldn't have been any better. 268 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:02,026 Give me the finger sandwiches. 269 00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,795 Fine! 270 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,730 Go ahead and take the White's sandwiches! 271 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:08,132 They've taken everything else! 272 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:12,837 [ The Chicago Bears' "The Super Bowl Shuffle" plays ] 273 00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,939 ♪ We are the Bears shufflin' through ♪ 274 00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:17,108 ♪ Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you ♪ 275 00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,243 ♪ We're so bad we know we're good ♪ 276 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:21,746 ♪ Blowin' your mind like we knew we would ♪ 277 00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:24,082 ♪ We're not here to start no trouble ♪ 278 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,917 ♪ We're just here to do the Super Bowl shuffle ♪ 279 00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,385 Dude, this is '80s' music? 280 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,887 Yeah. It's Pandora. '80s channel. 281 00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:31,789 Well, just skip to the next song, man. 282 00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:33,057 We're trying to get psyched to destroy evil. 283 00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:35,259 We need better '80s' music than that. 284 00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,829 ♪ Gloria ♪ 285 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:41,399 ♪ You're always on the run now ♪ 286 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:45,436 ♪ Running after somebody ♪ 287 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:49,073 ♪ You gotta get him somehow ♪ 288 00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,775 ♪I think you've got to slow down ♪ 289 00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:53,444 Heidi. Honey, what are you doing? 290 00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:55,179 This is the place -- 291 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:59,150 This is the place where I ended it all, remember? 292 00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,952 This is where I threw my phone off the bridge 293 00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,954 and quit Twitter for good. 294 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,256 I was so different then... 295 00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:08,793 so naive and hopeful. 296 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,195 Yes, honey, now, can we get going, please? 297 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,998 I'm sorry! I'm trying to have a moment here! 298 00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:17,301 This is where our whole relationship started, asshole! 299 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,237 Yes, it's very touching, sweetheart. 300 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,972 I love you so much. 301 00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:23,274 [ Quietly ] I'm sorry about this, you guys. 302 00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:26,844 I remember feeling like I had nobody. 303 00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,479 Skinny bitch. 304 00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:31,783 We need to keep going, guys. 305 00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,920 Don't tell me you haven't gotten the President out of here. 306 00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:37,789 We haven't gotten the President out of here. 307 00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,357 And there's some worse news. 308 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,292 A bunch of kids have gone missing. 309 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,528 -What? -I think we have to assume 310 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:45,997 that the President has... eaten them. 311 00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:47,532 [ Cries ] 312 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,333 Why are you here talking to me 313 00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:51,335 instead of trying to find the President?! 314 00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:54,405 Don't worry, we're close. He's out in the woods somewhere. 315 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,041 And we've set up a fox trap. 316 00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,876 A fox trap? 317 00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:01,345 [ Mouse squeaking ] 318 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:05,183 [ Insects chirping ] 319 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,284 [ Mouse shrieks ] 320 00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,019 [ Thud in distance ] 321 00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,229 Oh, Fox News... 322 00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,931 They'll listen to me. 323 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,933 They'll get my side of the story right! 324 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:26,571 [ Imitates bird call ] 325 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,306 It's a trap! 326 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,507 What? 327 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:34,512 It's a Fox trap, Mr. President! 328 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,581 Oh, thank God for the Whites... 329 00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:45,022 ♪ Hold on to the nights ♪ Ike! Ike?! 330 00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:50,261 ♪ Hold on to the memories ♪ 331 00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:53,431 Dude. Come on! This is not kick-ass '80s music! 332 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:56,434 "Hold On to the Nights" Richard Marx. 1988. 333 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,636 Do we really need music? 334 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,905 Yeah! Craig just has the wrong stuff. 335 00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,607 Forget your Pandora. I'm doing Spotify. 336 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,475 '80s music. 'Kay. There. 337 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,879 ♪ I've got Pac-Man fever ♪ ♪ Pac-Man fever ♪ 338 00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:09,247 Oh, yeah. That's better. 339 00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,215 Can we go please?! 340 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:14,085 ♪ I've got Pac-Man fever ♪ ♪ Pac-Man fever ♪ 341 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,387 ♪ I'm going out of my mind ♪ 342 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,421 ♪ Going out of my mind ♪ 343 00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:18,890 Kyle: Here it is. 344 00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:21,225 [ Door creaks opens ] 345 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:22,960 Ike? 346 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:24,996 Wait a minute... 347 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,164 Isn't this the place you brought me before? 348 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:28,399 The place you said your friends smashed your phone 349 00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:29,634 and computer...? 350 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,069 I remember I felt so bad for you. 351 00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:34,438 We used to sit in the park and talk for hours. 352 00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,374 How come we never do that anymore? 353 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,209 Oh, fuck. Here we go. 354 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:39,577 Here we go what?! 355 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,545 You used to be so nice to me. 356 00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,080 You used to be nice to me! 357 00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:44,582 I tried! 358 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,183 But then you started rolling your eyes 359 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,286 every time I tried to talk to you! Ughhh... 360 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,587 He's not here either. 361 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,188 Dude, maybe your brother 362 00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,456 Didn't even go looking for the President. 363 00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:54,525 You don't understand Canadians. 364 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,061 They're fiercely loyal to their country. 365 00:14:57,096 --> 00:15:00,564 When Canada is attacked, they all join in the fight. 366 00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:09,206 ♪♪ 367 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:17,481 ♪♪ 368 00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:25,990 ♪♪ 369 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,428 Randy! Randy! 370 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:31,662 What? They got him! 371 00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:33,531 They found the President! 372 00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:38,169 We found his hideout. There. 373 00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:42,006 [ Eerie whispering ] 374 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,041 Someone's gotta go flush him out. 375 00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:45,376 I'll be ready to trap him. 376 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:46,444 I'll do it. 377 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,645 Hey, hey! 378 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,513 Just remember he's been eating animals 379 00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,716 and living like a monster. Just... 380 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,452 prepare yourself for what you're about to see. 381 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:58,056 [ Insects chirping ] 382 00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:07,264 Oh, my God! 383 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,567 What the -- Principal and Vice Principal...? 384 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:10,634 I told you we couldn't hide. 385 00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,169 But... 386 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:13,738 But you two work together -- [ Gags ] 387 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:17,541 You two work togeth-- [ Vomits ] 388 00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:20,311 [ Vomiting continues ] 389 00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:22,546 Hey, what the hell's going on?! 390 00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:24,048 They're together! 391 00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:25,583 Who's together? 392 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:28,419 The Principal and the Vice Principal! 393 00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:32,390 They can't be together! They're co-workers! 394 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,225 [ Vomits ] 395 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:37,194 Wait, wait. You mean he's actually her superior 396 00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,497 and they were in there -- [ Gags ] 397 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:43,234 [ Vomiting ] 398 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:49,573 Who would want to put their penis in a co-worker?! 399 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:51,509 [ Gags, vomits ] 400 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,411 [ All vomiting ] 401 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,213 ♪ Playing with the Queen of Hearts ♪ 402 00:16:56,248 --> 00:16:58,349 ♪ Knowing it ain't really smart ♪ 403 00:16:58,384 --> 00:17:01,552 ♪ The Joker ain't the only fool ♪ 404 00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,421 ♪ Who'll do anything for you ♪ 405 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,189 Oh, my God! Look! 406 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:07,058 ♪ Laying out another lie ♪ 407 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:08,559 These are Ike's toy binoculars! 408 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:09,727 He was here! 409 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,295 Ike! 410 00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,230 I remember this place too... 411 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:16,400 This is where you brought me on Halloween. Remember? 412 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,169 [ Sarcastically ] Yes, darling, wasn't it romantic? 413 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,770 No! It wasn't romantic. 414 00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,440 There was a witch and you had me dress up like Gretel and... 415 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,775 [gasps] you were trying to get me killed! 416 00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:27,178 Sweetheart, you made me late to the pumpkin patch, remember? 417 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,080 I was hurt. -You were hurt! 418 00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:31,115 You were the victim. 419 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,384 I'm glad you understand. 420 00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:36,153 Who turned you into this, Heidi? 421 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:38,089 Shut up! Skinny-ass bitch! 422 00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:40,791 You don't know anything! 423 00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,827 Heidi, I think spooky walk in the woods 424 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,495 is making you lose it a little bit. 425 00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:45,496 Stan: Guys! 426 00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:56,607 I'm seriously dehydrated and starving. 427 00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:57,808 I'm pretty sick of this shit, 428 00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:00,178 so you better-- Aah! 429 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:06,117 Have we already done a search of this area? 430 00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:07,818 Maybe Heidi went there with her boyfriend! 431 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,687 She would have called by now. 432 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,388 I just talked to the McKormicks. 433 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,224 They haven't seen Tweek or Craig since yesterday. 434 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,762 Randy! 435 00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:20,264 Did you find anything? 436 00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:25,269 Sharon...I-I... 437 00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:27,805 What is it? What did you find? 438 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,341 The...There's... Ugh... 439 00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,543 Tell me! You have to tell me! 440 00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:39,183 Oh, God. What did you see?! 441 00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:40,885 You don't want to know. 442 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,320 You have to tell me! I can take it! 443 00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:45,322 Did you find our son's arm? 444 00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:49,727 Did you find him torn apart? What?! 445 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:54,498 The Principal and Vice Principal are, like...together. 446 00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:57,602 [ Vomits ] Aww! 447 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:03,641 [ High-pitched horn blows ] 448 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:09,480 ♪♪ 449 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:15,319 ♪♪ 450 00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:16,954 It's the President! 451 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:20,891 ♪♪ 452 00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:23,194 Ike! Kyle! 453 00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,196 Stan, you're okay! 454 00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:26,564 Yeah, we're okay! 455 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,200 We got him. We got the son of a bitch. 456 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,834 Get back! 457 00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:35,306 Everyone back! Do it now! Get over here, family! 458 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:38,776 Bob, for the love of Pete, our country is about to go to war! 459 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,244 You wanna know where there's a war?! 460 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:41,845 There's a war on Christmas! 461 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,480 Nobody cares about that! 462 00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:44,882 'Cause guess who loves Christmas. 463 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,617 The Whites! 464 00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:48,619 At least this man's trying to save Christmas! 465 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,287 [ Muffled ] That's true! 466 00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:52,389 He's not saving Christmas, Bob. 467 00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:53,557 He's running around, scaring your kids, 468 00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:55,392 and shitting in the woods. 469 00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:58,495 [ Sighs, sobs ] Come on, Bob. 470 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,431 What's best for your daughter? I mean, really? 471 00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:05,703 HEIDI: You piece of shit! This was all your fault! 472 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,905 You controlled me and manipulated me 473 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,807 and turned me into this! 474 00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:12,343 Baby, put down the gun, sweetheart, okay? 475 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,412 I used to be kind. I used to be caring. 476 00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:20,718 But then you -- you... 477 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:23,721 No. Not you. 478 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,724 Me. I did this. 479 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:30,894 I let being a victim become a way of life. 480 00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:34,331 If you always make yourself the victim, 481 00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:36,934 you can justify being awful. 482 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,736 Eric... 483 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,337 I'm sorry. 484 00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:42,339 I'm breaking up with you. 485 00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:44,642 Honey, don't be ridiculous. 486 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,777 I've been ridiculous. 487 00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,580 I have to learn to stop feeling sorry for myself. 488 00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:51,949 Heidi, you are not breaking up with me. 489 00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,818 Yes, I am. It's over. 490 00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:57,021 I'm afraid I can't let you do that, sweetheart! 491 00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,556 Step back! I'll do it! I swear to God! 492 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,292 It's not gonna work this time, Eric. 493 00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:03,327 You break up with me, I will kill myself! 494 00:21:03,362 --> 00:21:04,595 The choice is yours, Heidi! 495 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,829 Come on, everybody! 496 00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:07,831 "Eric, we don't want you to die." 497 00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:09,533 I'm sorry. 498 00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:10,801 You can be the victim. 499 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:11,835 I can't. 500 00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:13,671 Heidi! 501 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:15,806 Heidi, I'm gonna do it! Here we go! 502 00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,675 Heidi?! Are you seriously -- 503 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:21,011 [ Screams ] 504 00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,946 MAN: He broke free. 505 00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:25,949 The president is on the loose again. 506 00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:28,485 He'll be even more desperate now. 507 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,454 It's going to get worse. 508 00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:32,823 We can't destroy him, can we? 509 00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:35,392 I don't know. 510 00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:37,328 I guess... 511 00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:38,729 it's up to the Whites. 512 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:48,038 ♪♪ 513 00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:54,679 ♪♪ 514 00:21:55,714 --> 00:21:57,548 [ Gags ] 515 00:21:57,583 --> 00:22:01,085 [ Vomiting ] 516 00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:06,824 Who would want to put their penis in a co-worker?! 517 00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:08,125 [ Gags, vomits ] 518 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,660 [ All vomiting ] 37160

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