Original subtitles

ENGLISH SUBTITLES yavass SUMMER 2015

Sorry I'm late, but I needed to put my emotions in order

I feel like I'm in shock

Do you prefer to go home or to a hospital ?

Where did you go to when you left the theater ?

The nearest cafeteria

I had a coffee, I fed my tamagochi (=digital pet), stuff like that....

Stop it ! "Oedipus Rex" is Sophocles' greatest play !

I could feel my brain frazzling, inside the theater

It wasn't just the play ! There were the sets, the lights, the colors...

I was struggling with Romanian. I lack vocabulary...

It was a Romanian theater group, they act in Romanian

If you stayed concentrated, language shouldn't be a problem

It broadens the mind

It was like a week in Mykonos with the Romanian dictator Ceausescu

A total nightmare

Sorry, but there is life after the "Return of the Jedi"

I'd prefer a P.D. Blues series any day...

OK, I'm sorry...

Wait !!

We publish science fiction, novels, short stories....

...anything to do with the Space

This is the Linguistics Faculty...

Yes, I know

Your students would love our books, to chill out

Linguistics counts in sci-fi

There's new words like droid and kryptonaut

Droid ?

I see your point....

Anyhow, you would be doing me a huge favor...

We're a new company and we have a bit of a cash flow problem

In fact, we're in the shit big time !!

OK, send me your catalogue. I'll put in an order

Great !!

Thank you !

For the seminar ?

Quick, it's about to begin !

Wait !

Where are you going ?

Back to kindergarten

15-letter words faze me

We haven't got that far

It's Paul's fault !

He's very into structuralism. We often argue about it

Sure, you can't mess with that

- I suppose, Paul is your.....? - Kind of, yes

Shame ! I imagined you with Luke Skywalker

Who ?

You're Princess Leia

- Princess who ? - Leia !!

You probably don't know her.

She's like me. She's not into structuralism either

Why did you follow me ?

I saw you go and.....

Watch out ! The last girl who chased me....caught me

Don't freak out, I'm teasing you !

I run too fast...

I caught up with you, though !

I can run fast too

Hey, princess Leia !

Coming back to Krypton ?

Krypton ? That's where Superman comes from

Princess Leia lives on Alderaan

What do they teach you at the university ?

I skipped interstellar civilization classes

You had the wrong teacher

No, Eva is not in.

I don't know where she is

I don't know when she'll be home, if at all....

...nor even if she's still alive

Most probably, she's dead

Good bye Miss

Is it always like this ? This was the 6th time

Yes, it is. On the 7th call, I win a cellphone

Just what you don't need

You're right. Fuck them !!

Is Eva in ?

No, she's gone to South America...

...changed sex and now she's called Diego

Can I come in ? Am I interrupting ?

No, of course not !

Sorry, but I have to get some sleep

Hold On !!

I'll call you !

Ready to go ?

Where have you been ?

I bet you were a nun in your previous life

I went to the club Marrakech with Omar Sharif's daughter

What a woman !

OK, Mrs. Sharif, come on down to earth

Clara is upstairs...

...waiting for you

You let her in ?

What did you expect me to do ?

And Marie, Caroline and the others are on their way

Shit !

You can change at the office

- Into what ? - I thought of that !

I need to sort my life out

This is a good idea, my porn star !

Give me this and let's get out of here

Are you kidding me ?

I just grabbed something from your wardrobe

You know that I never wear dresses

You look good as a girl

Yeah, give us a bit of glamour, for once !

It'll make a nice change

I look like I've been wrapped by the Bulgarian artist Christo

(=Christo wrapped with fabric the German Parliament in June 1995)

Stop looking, I'm hideous !

- It suits you ! Very glamorous ! - After a night in Marrakech...

Hey ! Shut up !

Are you Okay, beautiful ?

She's looking peaky

Pierre left me, that's it

Shit !

- I liked him ! - So did I !

Shame for both of us

But I might be pregnant. You too ?

Anyway, it serves me right

I should try being a lesbian

Easy ladies ! I didn't mean it

But you said it

Camille, Lily is my secretary. I get first refusal, okay ?

I have half shares in the company !

I opt out !!

It won't be either of you

I already told you, I don't do girls !

I can understand that

Judas ! Nobody asked you !

It's funny that you two never slept together

What about London ?

Is my flight booked ?

Camille is going. I need you Friday at the soccer club

I don't give a shit. I am going

Take Lily, she's straight for real

It won't work. They know I live with Eva

Exactly ! They'll think...

...you fuck your secretary and they'll make you captain

Just tell them... "Guys, I dig cock !"

Yeah, sure...very subtle...

...a great idea, really !

- I think so - Do you ?

All that kissing one another, after a goal ? Why don't you admit it ?

Do you ?

Of course I do !

Next time you ask your parents over....

...get Lily to play your boyfriend

It wouldn't bother me

Lily, I endure Nico to reassure my parents.

Any girl they meet.... will be my real girlfriend

And there's quite a choice

You haven't told them yet ?

The subject hasn't come up

El Rubio sir.....

...what does it mean for you to be standing here ?

An empty bullring....

...is nothing but sand. Nothing more

Sorry ! It's over for me, finished.

You have fully recovered from your injury.

Why have you decided to stop ?

I have a wife....a daughter....

I quit for their sake

Above all, for my daughter

She was scared when I fought

She's very sensitive

And now, no regrets ?

Cut ! I hate going over all that.

I'm out of practice. Malou ! ?

I said it was a bad idea. Leave us be !

I hate coming back here

What are these dogs ?

We breed Afghans. It's less risky

My wife's idea. If I'd had my way....

Percy and Polly, our best pair. They'll mate soon

I'll give my daughter one, for her wedding.

She's getting married ?

She may well be

She has a longstanding boyfriend

I have an intuition.... I think.....

What do you think ?

I think they'll have a baby soon.

A mother is never wrong

I'd like to meet your father

Thanks a lot, Lily !

You said sexy, so I did sexy

Not porn star sexy ! I'm going to look really stupid

Who's your date ?

Lily...

Nico's girlfriend

The other one is in London. When the cat is away...

Cut it out !

I can see why you kept her hidden

I wish I had

Who's that ?

Our new nr. 9. Great ball skills.

I bet he has

Manuel !

This is Nico. Your partner in attack

I'm Lily

- Midfield or up front ? - I'm Nico's girlfriend

Occasionally at leat. Just joking !

- Stop it ! -We're so in love !

Give it a break !

You believe in that ?

You never know

- He's called Manuel - I know

He drives a van and plays offense

You may not be his type

Besides the fairy chromosome...

..there's also the jockstrap one. Take Batman...

Is Batman gay ?

All super heroes are gay !!

Magnum, James West, Richard Gere....

Richard Gere ain't gay ! He's Buddhist !

He's both !

Who's that ? Your parents ?

No, Eva's parents

I don't have a photo of my parents

I only know my mother. We see each other every Christmas.

There's no time for pictures

What does she do ?

It's complicated

She looks after people. A bit like Mother Theresa

Except she's not a Mother.... I mean she's not a Sister

How are you ?

Not bad

You have aged, haven't you ?

Does it bother you ?

Wrinkle up, if you want. I had mine removed.

Sorry...this is Nico, my son !

Yes, I have a son

We don't see each other much

We live apart, we lead different lives

But he's a good person

He's handsome and happy

He may even be married and have children

That's a point here....

Nico, do you have children ?

I know, I was due back 2 days ago....

..and but for a taller version of Kate Moss...

This is Tina, she's new

What do you say ?

And Kate Moss ?

How is she ?

Waste of time

I hardly went out at all

I hate clubbing

What's best about London....

...is relaxing in the tea rooms

...with a good book

Especially after a piercing

I didn't get one

Here, you'll like this

Tina has drawn the first lesbian manga

Very trash !

In the 23rd century...

..in Gaytham City...

..two lowlives, the Heterox Twins...

...aim to seize power and to outlaw....

..sexual deviance

Batlesbian is opposing their vile plans....

...and she fights to defend lesbian rights

That needs work

I love it !

Where's Jean-Pierre ?

No, not you

Akito, I have 3 orders for you, OK ?

15,000 China Steel at $ 80

Hold on a second !

How many are you in for ?

4,600 Korean Sat at $ 20....

Young lady, that hurts !

I must call my daughter. I may have a job for her

I have no idea what she's studying

But it doesn't matter

It's funny, she shares her flat with a room mate

Go on, answer it !

Your mother...

This is Camille

Camille ! The room mate !

No, she's asleep....

...as usual !

Me? I just pay the bills, if you get my drift ?

Mom, I'll call you later.

Are you crazy ? Tell her that we sleep together too, why not ?

I'm sick of her treating me like the house maid

Next time, I'll tell her !

Do that and I'll leave you

OK, drop it !

Are you busy today ?

I'm not sure...

Maybe, I'll write a film about Kirkegaard

A dialogue with his other self, who is in fact Nietzsche

...or perhaps Wittgenstein....

Or how about Popeye ?

Why don't you look for a job ?

You know....boring stuff that pays you money....

Don't start ! I'll be depressed all day, today !

I can't think of a job that I want to do

I need to find something that I really enjoy

Well, what do you enjoy ?

I love dancing.... I could be a dancer

Classic or modern ?

Both....

Don't you think that you need some training ?

Exactly, that's the whole problem !

OK, what else then ?

Peace ! I like peace !

I signed up against nuclear testing. I could join the UN

As a peacekeeper ?

Let's forget it for today

You're better doing nothing

I'll stick to aesthetics in Hegel' writing

You can sell it at the market

By the kilo....

Can you put the trash out, my love ?

Fuck you !

No, I won't do it !

All alone with them, I'll go crazy !

I'm through with acting the perfect son-in-law !!

Come on ! ?

You're as bad as he is.... Tell them the truth

Tell my father the truth ?

A bull fighter with a dyke for a daughter ? He'll kill me

We can't all have a mother like yours...

....out marching for gay pride !

Oh yeah ?

Your mother is on some Buddhist ashram....

...she won't mind having a gay son

Play it like Irak's Saddam... confront them !

- It didn't exactly work for him - He's not a lesbian !

Going back to the bullring, made me think

It means too much to me

You're not going back ?

Not exactly, don't worry

I was worried

This is pretty. Yours ?

You never wear it

I did once !

Jose is opening a bullfight academy...

We have to think big

I've found a farm with bullring...

...swimming pool, tennis courts....

I want to teach youngsters

You know, breeding dogs is not for me. I like bulls.

Then, paint the dogs black and skewer them....

Good thinking !

Do you mind ? !

And then, if ever you have a kid...

...Jose will teach him all he knows

- I am sterile - Really ?

Just a bit sterile

He's being treated

Aren't you, love ?

Hormone therapy

- Does it work ? - Amazing !

Soon, I'll be unstoppable

Change the subject, idiot !

So...let's have dinner tonight

Sure....

I'm sorry darling. I can't. I have a meeting

Cancel it !

It's important

Why don't you take a little Afghan dog in the meantime ?

A bitch maybe....

Whom is that one for ?

I can't tell you

This is impossible. I'm gonna tell them

What ?

Camille is right

It's silly posing as Mr and Mrs Straight

I know you, you'll chicken out

No ! You tell them !

You' re right !

This is impossible !

Nico has something to tell you

- Go on... - We're all ears

Well then....

The spare room is not just a spare room

It's Eva's room

Because you are sterile ?

It's no big deal...

No, it's not because I'm sterile

Every couple sleep apart at some time

It'll sort itself out

No, no...actually...

Eva and I.....we're not....

- We just couldn't tell them - I understand...

The idea of telling my folks make me ill

That's just an excuse

Where's your gay pride ? I can't do it for you

Some gay community !

If you're so smart, how did you tell Josepha !

Sha was preparing me for months...

...but you know how absent-minded I am

...never paying attention to anything...

In 11th grade....

..the teacher gave us a questionnaire with the million dollar question :....

"What do you want to be ?"

The next day, the principal called me

Camille had put "A Lesbian"

- What did you say ? - "Ah, a first for our family !"

My mom would have kicked me out

You were not into girls

I'm not into girls. I love you ! It's different

But...I am a girl !

Hence, you count as being into girls

It's true Ariane. Can't you show a little solidarity ?

People died at "Strangewall"....

Stonewall !!

- Sto-ne-wall !! - Nobody died !

Whatever ! Some must have died somewhere !

It's seems I am more militant than any of you

I can't tell them. They'll freak out !

They're a bit....extreme

Extreme ?

Very extreme .....

My dad is a keen genocide fan

It's simple, we must win their confidence

..soften them up with the best table silverware...

...good food, backround music...

...flowers on the table....

No !

No !

No !

Sounds like a good idea to me !

OK, I didn't say a word !

I said no ! I am reading

Why won't you trust me ?

Do you realize what you're asking ?

I know you

You need prompting

Nico and Eva's folks will be there too. Yours will have a shoulder to cry on

With my Ma to help, we'll drop the payload. Like Spock's body

Spock ? Spock who ?

The Wrath of Khan, Chapter 8, verse 5.

Spock comes back to haunt them and his body kind of whaps them

The Search for Spock, Chapter 3, verse 10

May I invite my parents ?

To tell them you're straight ? What a scoop ?

To see their reaction If I say I'm a dyke !

Go the whole hog !

Say you're dating a black dominatrix. They'll love it !!

I'm doing this for you guys

If you want to stay unhappy, it's fine with me.

No way !

I cannot invite my mother !!

She's working with lepers in Bangladesh

I have no way of contacting her

You're a hell of a group !

At least someone is positive about this

Have you thought of how we look.... ?

...to this stereotype of heterosexuality ?

Did I speak out of context ?

You always do that

That's why I love you

Unlucky you !

Yeah, unlucky me

What do you see in me ? What do I give you ?

That's not a good question

I do nothing all day, I just wait for you...

You talk, you make things happen

I'm not sure I can keep up

I do it all for you

But I never asked you to

Now, you ask me to choose between you or my parents

No, I did not

They'll make me choose

When I left my boyfriend for you, it was all new, exciting

I didn't realize what it meant

I never chose between that life and you

What's gonna be now ?

I'll do it ! It's time they knew !

And this way, I'll be forced to choose

This is Soraya

Nico !!

For Christ's sake !

Don't do that to me !

Sorry, did I scare you ?

No, it was an allergic reaction !

Hold on !! You're home already

You're alone, sleeping in my bed....

You must be really sick

I ran into Tina. She barely glanced at me

What's wrong with me ? Am I that ugly ?

Am I fat ? Do I have a beard ?

A mustache ?

Well, you ain't bad for a girl !

By the way.......

I invited my folks to Camille's dinner

You didn't ?

Yeah ! I'll hit them with it

Right between the eyes !

You might have told me

Invite your mother too !

No, she wouldn't come

Bait her !

Promise her an outbreak of the plague

Okay...

I'll show you who my mom is

Nico, that's Sara Manuel

-Thanks, I know.... - Hold on !

I'm a major fan of hers. She never had any children

Actually, she has one

That's me...

Seaside vacation

Skiing vacation

Look.....Look...

Me in her dressing room

We're buddies. Why didn't you tell me ?

Because I never told anyone

When I was a kid....

I barely knew my mom. She was always on tour

I never lived with her

It was better this way

She's always avoided the press

And so, nobody knew that I existed

Now it's the same kind of thing

I don't want to....

...cause her hassle.... Sara Manuel's faggot son

Not easy to deal with

What about my dad ? The press will smell blood

When I think all the bullfights that I took you to....

...and not even an autograph by Sara in return

You really don't get it

Damn, it's clouding over

Don't worry, the house is on a positive magnetic filed

Stay just there !

Stand upright ! She's not just anybody !

The first person who will ask for an autograph, I'll report her....

...to the Christian Coalition

I'll be right there

Don't you like it ?

Did you marry a Gandhi son ?

It's the only way to shake off the paparazzi. They won't recognize me

In Bombay maybe...

It works....

I whisked past three of them at the airport

I am surprised you came

I wanted to see you. I missed you

I missed you too.

You're looking younger again

Take no notice. It's in our genes

My dear, a pleasure to meet you

I am Josepha, Camille's mother

Welcome ! My home is you home

These are Camille...Ariane....Eva

My mom

Whose flag is that ?

Our community's !

The colors of our local community....

But why the rainbow ?

The seven plagues of Egypt

A color per plague ! More or less....

I prefer to go in

You never know.... maybe they tailed me

Watch what you say or I'll lock you up in the cellar

But Camille, I was merely replying to a question !

How do you cope with her ?

She's like that because she's scared we're going to mess up

No chance

I lit 50 candles in church yesterday

I'll claim them as expenses, for the tax return

You found a saint for our cause ?

Of course, Lady Di !

Do I scare you now ?

You know I'm always scared of being watched

Can't you stop running for a few moments ?

You are allowed one weekend with your son, right ?

You're right. Fuck them !

Let me guess....

One of you is Nico's girlfriend....

Yes, me ! For four years now

It's true !

I feel almost part of the family. May I kiss you ?

Wow, I dreamed of doing that

Can you sign here ? "To Eva with love"..... or something ?

- I am Ariane.... - Cut it out ! Enough !

It's ok !

Ariane, aren't these your folks ?

Who are these people ?

Are we early ?

Not at all ! Welcome ! (...Who are they Camille ? )

Later....Be nice

I am Josepha d' Augeres

Nice to meet you

- Are you Camille ? - That's me

Thank you for inviting us

No sweat ! Lili is a pearl

You've brought out the sun

It was pure luck that we were touring the area

You're artists too ? How incredible !

What are you called ? Maybe I've heard of you

Diane & Tony !

Doesn't ring any bells. And I can never remember faces

Did you do Eurovision or something ?

No dances, festivals, fetes....

Diane sings and I play the piano

We're not exactly famous

Never mind, not everyone can be

But we get by okay

You must know Sara Manuel....

I mean Nico's mother

Yes, of course

I'm a big fan of yours....

Thank you

Are you trying to ruin it ? What got into you ?

No, I came to help

We can come out ouselves, thanks !

So, why haven't you ?

- Camille playing D' Artagnan - Give me that !

Complete, with mustache

Drop it !

Why tell your folks that you're are a lesbian ?

My parents are cool

I hope you're right

Maybe they'll cast the first stone

You had Big Jim too ?

You're busting my balls !

Do you want me to go ?

Beware Big Jim !

You mission is to dismantle a cluster of.....

...dyke fundamentalists

Long live the dykes !!

But he's unarmed !

What are you doing ?

Trying to sleep. I'm exhausted

Everybody is downstairs

I prefer to be alone

What's this ?

An old friend.....Big Jim

I saved him from the lesb....

From the girls

What are you going on about ?

Why didn't we go somewhere alone ?

Here ! Look......

Is that couple staying here, too ?

Yeah, their daughter is our secretary

Your secretary ?

We run a very liberal company

Eva and Ariane's parents are coming, too

You will all meet each other

It seemed like a good idea, right ?

Nico, what am I doing here ?

Do you remember buying me one for Christmas ?

You don't, do you ?

Missed !

Can't tempt you down ?

I wanna be alone, I said !

As you like.....

By the way... I wanted to tell you that....

I like.....I prefer men....

There, I said it !

That will make it less of a surprise later

Have a good rest !

Hi !

Who's doing that ?

No idea ! Do it again !

Come on, it's easy !

Still no idea !

It's Platini !

Platini played earlier....

I only know him

No one ? Eva ?

Mrs Francoise Sagan

Good one....very subtle...

Jose ? Stumped ?

Maradona of course !!

The famous Hand of God !

The 1986 World Cup. Argentina vs England

Two...zero.....zero....zero

- Try this one - Say Nico....

...is Sara Manuel really your mother ?

She's resting in her room she's tired

I'm a big fan

When can I meet her ?

Why are we here ? Are you getting married ?

Ask Nico...

He will mime it for you

-Nico is acting odd -He's just being his usual prick

Come on, do not hide yourselves away

Look who's here ! Jose Bailen ! El Rubio !

What are we doing here ?

Let me introduce Lili's parents

You are Diane and Tony !

Sorry ?

You are Diane and Tony !

Right !

Do you remember them ?

August, last year.... In that little village...

They were playing...

Right ! It was lovely ! We stopped to listen

You sang our song

Really ? Your song ?

From when Jose and I first met....

I was 16 and he was... he was El Rubio....

He came over as that song was playing...

I thought you met in an airport....

Correct ! The speakers played the song...

Even so, it was terribly romantic !

Won't you sing it for us ?

A little romance wouldn't go amiss

Go on !

They're ready for anything now !

Even your tattoo

- Which one ? - The coba on your thigh

How do you know about her tattoo ?

I must have mentioned it

The same gorgeous voice !

Bravo for your success !

You know that it means nothing !

You know each other ?

We started out together

You did ? You and....you ?

We sang in the same band....

...but then our paths separated

You never mentioned it

No, that's true....

Why should I ?

Why should she ? It was irrelevant

That's right !

Even so....

If I had sung with Bob Marley, I would have said....

How are you doing, Bob Marley ?

What did I say ?

Mom, wait !

What is it now ?

Are you avoiding me ?

Because I told you I'm gay ?

What was that for ?

For thinking that I'm stupid !

You could have told me earlier. Were you scared I'd disown you ?

What was I to think ?

We never talk !

You never asked me where I live or whom with !

You're so self-obsessed !

It's true I admit it !

It's your turn now ! Make sure it's a good one !

What ?

Slap me ! I deserve it as much as you did !

Come on ! It will do me good !

Yeah, it will ! Go for it !

Remember, I'm your mother !

Really ? And I am your son

You should try it too ! It does wonders for the skin

I left Nico with my mother and went to Italy

Soon after, I had a contract

I had no time even for myself

I tried contacting you

I wrote letters and called, but I never got a reply

I had no address. I was always moving

You know, the first time that....

...I heard you on the radio...

....I was pregnant with Lili

- I got a real shock ! - I'm sorry !

I meant a pleasant shock

Like a thrill

Yes, a real thrill

If you run, you can still make it

OK, you got me ! Call the cops !

- Come down ! - No !

Why run away without telling anyone ?

I left a note !

What if I talk to them ?

Would you do that for me ?

Enough already ! Get down here !

They might disown me

Find more liberal parents, from the Left....

They're here ! What do I do ? Blurt it out ?

They'll accuse you of preaching from the rooftop

My husband

The mustache gives him a slightly sly air

Indeed !

Excuse him ! He's not very good in company

I wrenched him away from his students

I am at ease only with them

I run a strict educational system..

...based on early 20th century English military boarding schools

Your students are lucky that you didn't go even further back

What do you teach them ?

Mapping the human genome

More specifically, the c-DNA structure

Nice !

Explain what it means !

With a little thought, it's simple

The reverse transcriptance of retroviruses....

...enables us to copy RNA as complementary DNA...

Whence....c-DNA

But of course ! How silly of me !

A friend of mine could get you a job

Based in Frankfurt, dealing with satellites

Satellites are the future !

And overseas experience looks good on your CV !! Good money too !

Not yet though ! I have to finish the "Education" section first

What would she do in a satellite ?

Whatever she wants !

She'd become a professional woman like me

She must not rely on her husband

Fat chance !

With all her degrees, she will find a job !

How about getting them drunk ?

Don't you have one of these funny cigarettes ? A joint ?

- How is it going ? - Great ! The Pope's gonna marry us

Only the best for Sara Manuel's son !

You just have to book him early

And Castelbajac to design his robe. His...

..his chasuble....

...his vestments. With lots of bright colours....

...and taken in slightly, at the waist. Right, darling ?

Of course darling !

We could have it in a bullring, with a bullfight afterwards

Without the kill, though !

We could do the music. We're not expensive

I mean, if we are not booked already somewhere else

Yes, it'd be good to put some work their way

Agronomics is big at the moment at the stock exchange

I can get Danone shares at $ 200...

....from my friend Akito

A sponsor could be useful for the reception

Remember what we agreed...

We start with Ariane, then Nico and then Eva, to finish

What about me ?

Yeah, what about Lili ? She can begin

No, you begin ! Lili does not count

- I've already done it - Sorry ?

I told her earlier, upstairs

Don't look at me like that. I didn't kill anyone !

We guys are always a step ahead of you girls

Oh, really ?

If there's a gay-lesbian war, it will be your fault

Yes Ma'am !

The balls-buster and his wife are OK

The matador and his wife seem OK, thank God

Damn !

Goodness gracious !

I can't put these two together

Then again....whereever I put him....

Never mind, that's the way the cookie crumbles...

You're on my left. It's not customary, but it soon will be

I took the liberty of sitting you not with your husbands...

...because I wanted to sit old friends together

Gnocchi salad for starters.... I hope you like it

I know you're all wondering why you're here

- ...and you'll soon find out - No, hold on !

Is there any left ?

We are beautiful, we are proud, we are lesbians !

My mom Josepha and I....

...wanted to put you into our life

We love each other very much....

..even though I am not what she expected

Nonsense darling

But because she is my mother....

...she loves me how ever I live my life

For Christ's sake !

Sorry !

Can we go on ?

Go on with what ?

I love Camille how ever she lives her life

As my daughter, I respect her homosexuality

Camille loves women

I love Camille

...and I love whom ever she loves

Thanks mom !

My pleasure, anything for you

How does any of this concern us ?

I asked you here to tell you that I love Camille....

...more than the whole world...

We live together three years now...

...and we want to grow old together

I would like you to be with us

- I prefer girls too ! - Hold on....

It's my turn now, Lili

You said you'd pass....

- Are you a lesbian too ? - No, a sympathizer

Actually...I'm the other way round

- You fuck lesbians ? - No....men !

Get a grip, Jose !

Try and keep up !

Eva, don't say a word !

...I know

I'll say it anyway !

Yes ! I am a lesbian, lesbo, dyke.....

There !

I like women

...and I'm proud of it !

You don't know how happy I am to tell you that

Gnocchi anyone ?

No one ?

Ariane, we are leaving this instant

This is your last chance, I warn you

You don't get it

This is your last chance, not mine

Hello ? Ah Akito....

How are you ?

56 thousand.....?

This isn't a good time

I'm not interested

No, very bad timing....

I said I am not interested.....

Shit, for Christ's sake !

They're pain in the ass with their Dow Jones !!

OK, where were we ?

I'm lost....

If you like women... why do you sleep with Nico ?

Stop it Malou ! Open you eyes ?

Think of the pain you're causing us !

- What pain ? - "What pain" ?

We raised you, we loved you...

For 15 years, I risked my life for my family

All that for what ?

For a filthy dyke !

I hope you're proud of yourself

How could you ?

For us it doesn't change anything

It makes no difference....

I'm glad you can accept it

Come on Lili !

I listen to reggae, I am anti-Nuclear...

I have a Che poster

I vote for the Left.... this has to mean something

I voted for the Left too

You did ?

That's right, I voted Jospin

My daughter is still a lesbian

They're homosexuals, so what ?

They are not fascists !

- You didn't vote fascists, right ? - No !

See ? Where's the problem ?

It could happen to anyone

Certainly not !

Not in our family ! We are not sick !

This makes me sick !!

Do you think I don't know ?

I know what you are feeling

I felt the same

I wanted something else for Camille

We all have dreams for our children

I imagined her married to a nice young man

...with kids around me...

I had to face up to it. My dreams were not...

...her lesbian dreams...

It's much better this way

Make an effort ! Please !

Oh damn, shit !

Come on !

Stop it !

No one is going anywhere

We'll overcome this little hiccup

You call this a hiccup ?

How ridiculous !

If Camille's mother understands, so can we

We're not more stupid that the others

There's nothing to understand !

Your daughter is not well

Her cDNA has been contaminated by some sort of a parasite

A kind of....

...genetic anomaly

I should loathe you

..but somehow I cannot

That's normal ! You always stand by your man

Are you sure ?

He had mistresses..... How many ?

No, I'll tell you later. Bye Mummy

It's not my uncle. He was single but only slept with women

Stop it ! You're being pathetic

Maybe it comes from nobody

Wait ! I had a cousin who went to Ibiza with a girlfriend....

Mom ? It's me again

Do you remember Anita ?

Right, the one who went to Ibiza...

What happened there ?

Of course....

Joints and acid, that's all

Did she and her...You know ?

You don't know....sexually

She was what ?

Great !

A real nympho.... She fucked all the males....

Don't worry. I'll tell you later. Bye Mom.

It's not from my family. I'm sorry

What do you mean ?

- WE are normal ! - So, it comes from my family ?

Why not ? Your sister never liked bullfighting !

That's got nothing to do with it

It does not come from my side

My sister has nothing to be ashamed of !

Nor have I, you know !

We didn't mean that

We just thought, there has to be a reason...

For someone as famous as you.... Having a son who is....

I mean....like Nico.....

What does is change ?

It brings me closer to my fans

They're brave to tell us. I should know that.

Do you agree ?

I'd hate to embarrass you

I don't care. I have nothing to hide.

Me neither

Well...Diane and I... we used to be together

Sorry ? Together ? In what way ?

Together....together...

We were in love with each other. That's all

That's all ?

I had Nico already. And Diane's parents came between us.

That's right. So I went off and had Lili....

...and a good time with Tony

Now, it's just a memory

The best memory of my life

For me too. By far the best.

There's no point hiding it. Especially now, Lili.

So....whose turn is it now ?

Put a sock it it, Nico !!

What's goin' on here ?

First my daughter... a lesbian....OK...

Then, my wife. Where is it going to stop ?

Don't be so narrow minded. After all, you voted for the Left...

What about Che Guevara ? Think of him !

Che can go to hell ! His wife and daughter are not lesbians

Actually....I lied

I don't like girls. I just wanted to see how you'd react

Hold on ! Are you trying to be funny ?

You see ? Things are getting better. It's just your wife

Really ?

I have to call my mother. There could be a knock-on effect

Why did I say that ?

We warned you !

You can't make a lesbian without breaking some eggs.

What ?

I'm just trying to relieve the tension

Camille, lend me your car

- Why ? - I'm going for a drink

With a bit of luck, I'll collapse in the gutter.....

...and lovely Tina will rescue me

- I'm coming with you - Me too

- You're joking - I wanna go

Try behaving like adults

That's right. I'll drive

- You never go out ! - I changed my mind

- I'll come with you - No !

You'd leave me here, all alone ?

It's your fault too !

Before, something held me back

Now, I can breathe on my own

Thanks to me, right ?

Yes, but when I couldn't breathe it was because of you. See ?

It's just that..... I don't know how to say this....

Do not interrupt me, OK ?

It was you holding me back

It's maybe better that we split

No way....

I won't do it

I am leaving you. I have to.

It's now that the oxygen mask falls down, right ?

You don't need one

I'm really sorry !

Where are you going ?

To town

You mean to places where your kind....

Correct. Girl bars. And tonight....

.....I'm getting my fill.

Sorry to be so direct but....

..do you enjoy sleeping with women ?

Sure, why should it be different ?

Because it is different ! It's not a man holding you

There has to be something missing

Desire. A man is physical, sensual...

A woman too.

But it's not the same. Don't you see ?

Men have a dick, did you know ?

Mom !

You can't take it away from them

We can walk without crutches too

Ariane, hurry up !

Wait ! I'll come with you

Choose 3 cards and focus on your daughter

No ! This one...

..this one....and this one

Now, Eva....

Girls make great son-in -laws !

They never moan about being bald....

- Funny ! Death ! - What ?

Don't worry ! It means the end of a circle, like tonight...

What actually bothers me, is...

How can I put it ?

It disgusts me. Two women together, it's...

....isn't ?

A dick in your mouth is no better !

No, but....

Since I was little, I was always told it is dirty

That.... it is not normal

Malou, people also said...

..the the World is flat, that Jesus changed water into wine....

...that Martians have webbed feet...

...the Chinese drowned their children...

If we didn't forget what we were told as kids....

...we'd still be sacrificing virgins to the sun god

The hunging man !

Is this good ?

It means there's no going back !

Shit !

I wanted grandchildren so bad !

She's just lesbian, not sterile !

The wheel of fortune ! Good sign for children

As for the gender of the father...

Do you have by chance the same plastic surgeon with Cher ?

You'll need him too one day

What if Camille were right ?

Maybe we'd better act as grown ups

If you want to vomit, the WC is on the left

I think I'll be OK

Scotch on the rocks, large...

Hi !

Do you work here ?

I'm helping Lola. She's an ex

- One of my exes, too - She said so

How's things Lola ?

I heard a lot about you

All bad, I suppose

No, one person did have something good to say

Should I believe her ?

Go with the majority

This is very gay !

Exactly the word I would use

-Ariane, I'd like a drink - What would you like ?

A disinfectant... make it double !

My wife will get her back on track

I won't be able to look my friends in the eye

The bullfighter's daughter... a dyke !

As for the Press....

...I can see their headlines now

If she refuses to change her ways, I will cut her off

...not a single cent...

Unless she accepts to be treated in a clinic

But can it be treated ?

I've studied this matter...

There is a homosexual gene in the brain...

You only have to de-activate it

It probably involves surgery, like a tumor

Like a cyst ?

You will see... they will be cured

We'll find a good clinic

Sorry, but I won't harm my duaghter

Don't mope !

This shop is full of girls

But I want the one in the window

Sorry...

- I know, not for sale ! - That's correct

Whom are you staring at.... your woman ?

No, my mom

- Eva is as good as a virgin - Almost....

May I buy you a drink ?

No, no...I'm waiting for my...

You find me attractive, right ?

The first time that a boy offered me a drink, I had a soda...

So, the same now but... with lots of vodka and gin

She has a different girl every night

Listen ! No one knows Eva better that me, OK ?

We live together !

...and if it wasn't for me, she would never leave her room

Right, Lili ?

That's true. She forces herself

Are you OK ?

Fine !

Much better now !

I was getting a bit hot

If I felt uncomfortable, I would have left, trust me.

It's just all a bit new, you see ?

Do you see, my darling ?

Am I interrupting ?

This....this is my daughter...

Come on, don't be glum !

Taste my osso buco, I'm sure you'll like it

With all due respect, you can sit on your osso bucco !

Perhaps you'd prefer a salad... from my garden ?

It seemed so simple

I had a wife that I loved... and she loved me

...unreservedly

But in fact, she loved someone else

Diane chose to be honest with you. Take it as a sign of her love

Saying nothing would have been a sign of her love

It's certainly easier to block your ears

You think this is easy for me ?

I spent 20 years with a woman who is not what she seemed

And I misunderstood my daughter for 10 ears

Can I still face her ?

Which is harder ?

Fighting a bull or accepting Eva for what she is ?

I'm warning you now !

I will not be another notch on your bedstead !

You will not cheat on me !

I cannot stand people who lie or who are unfaithful

You don't know half of it !

I snore and I can't cook !

I sleep in my socks

And then...there's this too !

- What are you doing ? - A fresh start !

Not bad. What's next ?

That was my address book

- Careful... - What ?

- It had your keys in it - Shit !

At least, you won't be tempted to give them to someone else

I blocked you out of my mind. It was easier this way

And now ?

I don't know what to think. It's all flooding back

For me, it never went away

What are we going to do ?

I'm jealous of you !

Don't worry ! I won't tell anyone !

Camille, I hope you won't piss against the housewalls....

..with your drinking buddies...

Your girl leaving you, is no excuse to piss on the housewalls

Have a bit of lesbian pride !

I'm going to fetch her !

Oh, shit ! My car !

I can lend you my mountain bike

You can take my car, if you want

The white Jaguar, out front

Jose, you're a real buddy !

In 2 years, you never went out alone ?

Nor cheated on her, ever !

- What about her ? - No ! I don't think so

I'm leaving

You're very pretty !

- I don't know.... - Yes, you are !

- Hi ! - This is Juan, my brother

- Haven't we met before ? - Well...maybe...

What are you doing ?

Can't you go somewhere else ?

No, my place is taken

- And I threw my keys away - Where is Ariane ?

- In the bar with her mother - And Lola was hitting on her

When you stir the shit, you need a giant spoon

Did you have any problem starting my car ?

- Eva ? - Hi dad !

Ah, you are with a friend !

What's goin' on ?

Camille is going to fetch Ariane

Ma'am, with all due reaspect...

..we should end this now...

As soon as my wife returns....

Sir, with all due respect, you are busting my....tits !

Return to your room and wait for her there.

And what about my wife ?

Anyone seen her ?

All these men losing their wives ?

For God's sake, if you were less stupid....

...you'd see why they stick together

Aren't you going to introduce us ?

Sure, of course

- Tina - Jose - Malou

Pleased to meet you !

Excuse me, but....

...I need a good night's sleep

Me too. Good night

Good night

So....what did you talk about ?

Nothing. We haven't seen each other for a long time, you know...

We talked about the old times

When you disappeared, I thought you and her were....

You know what I mean ?

Absolutely

So ?

So...what ?

So, nothing happened ?

Which would bother you more ?

That I' made love to her....?

...or that I just desired her ?

Both actually

No, nothing happened

Absolutely nothing

Come back to my place later

- I'd rather not.. - Oh, come on....

Fuck off, back to her

Nothing happened !

A half hour later, you'd be in bed with her

Get lost !

And you have seen Eva's tattoo. Leave me alone !

The cobra on her thigh

- What am I doing here ? - You love me !

Sorry ?

And I love you too

I don't know what came over me earlier

I felt kind of delirious

Caught between the discovery of myself and our collective coming-out

You know what I mean ?

No, not really...

You're a real bitch !

I love you and there you are, swapping spit with some dog

She's not a dog and I wasn't swapping spit...

And you're very beautiful when you're angry

You think so ?

Hysterical jealousy suits you

- Like Medea ? - Medea ?

Fox Mulder's first wife. Madly jealous of Dana Scully

Mulder was never married

Which episode ?

Video exclusive

Don't ever do that to me !

I can't possibly go on like this

I need a hair cut

- Is that all ? - For now, yes

Well ? Where is your daughter ?

Where she belongs. In Camille's bed. Where else ?

You don't plan to stay here, right ?

Where would we go ?

Home ! The three of us ! To thrash this out under a normal roof !

You're hurting me !

Don't say another word, or I'll leave you

You'll never see us again !

You'll be rid of us at last..... or vice versa

Have you gone mad as well ?

I warned you !

Where are you going ? Stay here !

- I'll sleep here - Excuse me ?

-Which side do you prefer ? - Left

Me too

But I can change

Good morning !

All is well then....

Ariane, your mother slept with me.... a divorce is in the air

What ?

I hope you know what you're doing ?

Please leave !

I hope you're proud Ariane

Of all that you have done !

-It will give time to think - Maybe not

Hard luck for him

Have you thought it over ?

You know what they will say...

It will be headline news...

..and after 6 months, they will find something else

Anyway, they can say what they want. I don't care

I am not losing you again

Me neither

It's easier for me. I'm not leaving anyone

You know, he took it very well

...or pretended to....

I think he's still a bit dazed

Are you sure you're OK ?

What do you think I am ?

After all, I listen to reggae

We talked all morning

He's getting over it

Aren't you ?

I just have to get used to it That's all

We may have separated anyway, one day

Why not now ?

We both have good times ahead of us

We simply won't see them together

I'm a bit jealous

You're gonna be happy right away

...whereas I am...

Stop it ! I don't like it when you're sad

Unless I find me a man !

Why not after all ?

Fred and Tony !

That would look good at a dance

Hold on ! Max ! Yeah, Max is better

Max and Tony, that has a ring to it

Where is he ? I can't leave without seeing him

He's disappeared

- Have you tried his home ? - There's no answer

Lili, have you seen Nico ?

He didn't want to say goodbye. It doesn't matter

What did you do this week end ?

Nothing special. I saw my mom

To introduce your secretary to her ?

No. To tell her that I'm gay

By the way Manuel, I think you should know....

..I'm absolutely infatuated with you

I think I am in love with you

Dedicated to my ex-colleague and friend Catas in Barcelona. Yavass

ENGLISH SUBTITLES yavass SUMMER 2015