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1
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[suspenseful music plays]
2
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[woman yells]
3
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[struggling grunts]
4
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[man grunts]
5
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[woman screams]
6
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[vase shatters]
7
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[woman yelling]
8
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[man grunts]
9
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[Randy Newman's
"It's a Jungle Out There"]
10
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♪ It's a jungle out there ♪
11
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♪ Disorder and confusion everywhere ♪
12
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♪ No one seems to care
Well, I do ♪
13
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♪ Hey, who's in charge here? ♪
14
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♪ It's a jungle out there ♪
15
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♪ Poison in the very air we breathe ♪
16
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,329
♪ You know what's
In the water that you drink? ♪
17
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:47,542
♪ Well, I do, and it's amazing ♪
18
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,795
♪ People think I'm crazy
'Cause I worry all the time ♪
19
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,964
♪ If you paid attention
You'd be worried too ♪
20
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:58,177
♪ You better pay attention
Or this world we love so much ♪
21
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♪ Might just kill you ♪
22
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,892
♪ I could be wrong now ♪
23
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,227
♪ But I don't think so ♪
24
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:09,147
♪ 'Cause it's a jungle out there ♪
25
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♪ It's a jungle out there ♪
26
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:19,824
It's been three months.
How are you holding up?
27
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,994
Well, I've made a decision.
28
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:24,704
Good.
29
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,457
When she comes back,
I'm not gonna pay her
30
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,626
for the weeks she missed.
31
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,419
I have to draw the line.
32
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:32,879
I'm docking her pay.
33
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:37,467
Adrian… Sharona is not coming back.
34
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,302
Oh, she'll be back.
35
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,637
Believe me.
36
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,806
I… I think I know her
a lot better than you do.
37
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:50,271
Didn't she sell her house?
38
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,522
Yes.
39
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,275
And she moved back to New Jersey.
40
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,778
Yes.
41
00:03:56,861 --> 00:04:00,531
And she remarried her ex-husband.
42
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,913
I'm not sure I like
where you're going here.
43
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,707
Adrian, Sharona
is moving on with her life,
44
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,126
and if you loved her,
you'd be happy for her.
45
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:19,217
She wasn't just my assistant.
46
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,469
-I know.
-When she found me,
47
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,137
I was drowning.
48
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,848
-She saved my life.
-I know.
49
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,017
I know. I was there.
50
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:31,104
Well, you're a doctor.
51
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,940
Can't you make her come back?
52
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:35,233
What would you like me to do?
53
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:38,653
Fly back to New Jersey and drug her,
54
00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,113
bring her back here?
55
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,243
No.
56
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,161
But thank you.
57
00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:53,209
She's pretty smart. She'd probably escape.
58
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:57,171
Adrian, you were lucky to know her.
59
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,923
And I know you'll always be grateful,
60
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,842
but it's time for you to move on.
61
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:04,178
You've gotta start looking
for your new assistant.
62
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,888
-Impossible.
-Yeah, well, that's what you said
63
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,640
before you found Sharona.
64
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,600
But, Adrian, you've got to start looking.
65
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,353
Your new assistant is out there somewhere.
66
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,277
God help her.
67
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,945
I've been a registered nurse for 14 years.
68
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,572
These are my references.
69
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:29,579
Your staple's… crooked.
70
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,622
I've been voted California
Nurse of the Year
71
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:32,957
-three years in a row.
-Mm-hmm.
72
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,752
Yeah. What's up with this staple?
73
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,336
Looking for someone to start right away?
74
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,421
That's right.
75
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,131
What would my hours be?
76
00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:42,383
9:00 a.m…
77
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,093
Until…?
78
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,428
Until one--
79
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,679
1:00 p.m.?
80
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,514
Until one of us dies.
81
00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,392
[police radio chatter]
82
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,314
So who was he?
83
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:57,523
So far he's John Doe.
84
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,025
No wallet, no ID.
85
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,568
We're runnin' the prints now.
86
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,447
Miss Teeger, I'd like
to go through the story.
87
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,992
Um, you heard a noise,
you came to check it out.
88
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,078
He comes, he grabs you from behind.
89
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,579
-Right.
-You struggle.
90
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,289
Now, there were some scissors
on that table.
91
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:14,707
What were they doing there?
92
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,334
[sighs] Julie, my daughter,
93
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:18,711
was working on a school project.
94
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:19,837
Where's the girl?
95
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:22,090
She's with a neighbor.
Didn't see anything.
96
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,841
[Stottlemeyer] Good.
97
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,635
So you grabbed the scissors
and you stabbed him?
98
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,095
I wasn't trying to kill him.
99
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,305
[scoffs] Maybe I was.
100
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:30,389
I-- I don't know.
101
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,474
Natalie.
102
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,518
You had every right to defend yourself.
103
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,813
Where's your husband?
104
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,981
Uh, he died.
105
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,566
Uh, six years ago.
106
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,235
He's a, uh…
107
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:44,445
was a Navy pilot.
108
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:45,613
I'm sorry.
109
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,198
Captain, why are they doing this?
110
00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:48,991
-What do they want from me?
-Who's "they"?
111
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,493
[Disher] There was, uh…
112
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,203
another intruder two days ago.
113
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,163
On Tuesday, a man came to my house.
114
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,957
He said he was here
to check my water meter.
115
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,375
But he didn't go downstairs.
116
00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,836
I-- I caught him over there
just looking around.
117
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,171
But when he saw me,
he ran out the back door.
118
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,632
We called Water and Power,
but there's no record of him.
119
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,717
-And this was a different guy?
-Yeah.
120
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,886
-You're sure about that?
-Yeah.
121
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,054
Sir.
122
00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:12,473
There's gotta be a connection here.
123
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,225
Do you know the odds
against two different men
124
00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:16,686
breaking into the same house
in the same week?
125
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,689
No, I don't. Do you?
126
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:20,940
No.
127
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,610
Is there anything of value in your house?
128
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,028
Yeah. My daughter.
129
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:29,866
Of course. I mean cash or jewelry?
130
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,450
-Medicine?
-No.
131
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,369
-Drugs?
-No.
132
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,163
And you've never seen these men before?
133
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,290
Either this guy or the meter guy?
134
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:38,374
No.
135
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,418
Huh.
136
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,590
Miss Teeger, there's a person
we sometimes bring in.
137
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,551
He's a former detective.
138
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:52,054
He sort of specializes in cases like this.
139
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,056
Great, let's call him.
140
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,349
It's not that easy.
141
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,644
You see, he's, uh,
he's taking some time off.
142
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,354
He's sort of working through
143
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,732
one or two personal issues right now.
144
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:06,194
But I think if you were to talk to him
and ask him yourself,
145
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,653
he might change his mind.
146
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,156
Mr. Monk, I'm a little confused.
147
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,365
Me too!
148
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:12,909
See, I'm a registered nurse.
149
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,828
And physically, you seem to be fine.
150
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,622
Are you looking for a housekeeper?
151
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:19,332
No. What? No, no.
152
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:20,833
I-I-I can clean the house.
153
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,251
Don't worry about that.
154
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,794
That's covered.
155
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,963
She didn't give me any notice.
156
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:30,259
I guess she was worried that
I'd have a nervous breakdown or-- Heh.
157
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:34,347
But… But her son, Benjy,
he… he gave me this letter.
158
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:35,723
He left me this.
159
00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:36,849
It's in a baggie.
160
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,267
It's an evidence bag.
161
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,560
Read the P.S.
162
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,895
Did you read the P.S.?
163
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:42,230
Yeah, it's heartbreaking.
164
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,148
Uh, Mr. Monk, can I be honest with you?
165
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,233
I wish you wouldn't.
166
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,360
I've had tons of patients like you.
167
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,612
There is nothing wrong with you.
It's all up here.
168
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,781
-It's psychological.
-Right, right.
169
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,449
What you really need is a wife.
170
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,243
Oh, whoa. Uh, we just met.
171
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:56,619
Okay? I don't even know you.
172
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,371
It's not me. I'm not proposing to you.
173
00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,622
It's a statement of fact.
174
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,499
-Excuse me--
-You gotta stop whining, you know?
175
00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:04,210
-Th-There's no smoking.
-Sharona moved away, wah, wah, wah.
176
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:06,629
You know what? You have got
to get out of the house.
177
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:07,922
You gotta do something.
178
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,799
Go bowling. You know, meet some people.
179
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:10,967
That is my advice to you.
180
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,635
You gotta-- You gotta put that out!
181
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,721
All right! Don't get all twisted up.
182
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,269
There. It's out.
183
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,689
And so am I. Another morning shot to hell.
184
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:36,534
"Hold upright. Pull ring pin."
185
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,828
"Stand eight feet from the flame."
186
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,871
One, two,
187
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,123
three, four…
188
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,916
[knocking on door]
189
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,210
-Hello?
-[Monk] One, two… Wait, no. Agh.
190
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,837
Mr. Monk?
191
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,338
[Monk] One…
192
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,673
-Hello?
-[Monk] One…
193
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,592
-Mr. Monk?
-…two, three…
194
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:53,968
Are you okay?
195
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:55,428
-…five.
-What are you doing?
196
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,305
Measuring. It says eight feet. Stay back!
197
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,181
No, no, they mean approximately.
198
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,433
No, no.
199
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:01,809
It doesn't say approximately.
200
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,227
You have to trust the label makers.
201
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,770
They're professional label makers.
202
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,690
-Just gimme that!
-Wait a second, you're too close!
203
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,322
Are you okay?
204
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,158
We did it.
205
00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:21,662
I'm gonna write these people a letter.
206
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,497
We could've been killed.
207
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,124
They should say "approximately."
208
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:26,834
Are you Monk?
209
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,252
Yeah.
210
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,462
Adrian Monk?
211
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,297
-Right.
-The detective?
212
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,259
The famous, admired, respected detective?
213
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,971
[creaking]
214
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,848
If you still want the job,
215
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,767
we can go talk in the kitchen.
216
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:45,728
What job?
217
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,313
Aren't you here from the agency?
218
00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:50,524
-No. I came here to hire you.
-Oh.
219
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,151
I'm Natalie Teeger.
220
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:57,156
Captain Stottlemeyer said that
you might be able to help me.
221
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,240
No. Uh…
222
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,826
He said you were the best cop
he's ever met.
223
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,578
I guess he's never seen you
put out a fire.
224
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:04,789
Well, I'm sorry, but, um,
225
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:07,541
I'm not really taking any work right now.
226
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,378
I recently lost a dear friend.
227
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,257
Oh. I'm so sorry.
228
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:16,967
Who died?
229
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:20,346
Nobody died. My nurse quit.
230
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,266
The Captain said
you might change your mind.
231
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,393
Well…
232
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,895
Okay, look, I can pay you.
233
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,688
I'm not rich, but I can
borrow if I have to.
234
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,524
-No--
-I can take out a loan.
235
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:34,652
I can't. Um, I just… I can't.
236
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,197
There was a man in my house last night.
237
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,740
I killed him.
238
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,746
There was another man
in my house a couple of days ago.
239
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:47,957
They're after something.
240
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,542
I can't figure it out.
241
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:51,877
Nobody can.
242
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,504
Do you have kids?
243
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:54,588
N-No.
244
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:55,714
I do.
245
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,758
I have an 11-year-old daughter.
246
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,512
Mr. Monk, I don't say this very often.
247
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,140
But I'm scared.
248
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,226
-Yeah, look--
-Please, help me.
249
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,645
Please.
250
00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:11,021
Help us.
251
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:18,779
[mysterious music plays]
252
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:47,600
[whispers] It's okay.
253
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,002
-[giggles softly]
-Shh.
254
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,880
Is there money in the house?
255
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,798
No.
256
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,050
What about the coffee can?
257
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,885
Isn't that where you hide your money?
258
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:25,221
How did you know that?
259
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,473
There's coffee grounds on the counter
260
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,391
indicating that it's been opened recently,
261
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,186
but you don't have a coffee maker.
262
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,856
[Julie] Wow, he's like Velma
from Scooby-Doo.
263
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,399
I-I had money in there,
264
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:40,444
but I spent in on luxury items
like food and rent.
265
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:47,993
You grew five-eighths of an inch.
266
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:54,333
Your husband was in the Navy?
267
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,834
Yeah, he died six years ago.
268
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,294
He was a pilot.
269
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,636
And you recently started dating again.
270
00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:10,516
-How did you know that?
-It's patently obvious.
271
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:15,312
I happened to notice these
in your coat pocket.
272
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,566
Birth control pills.
273
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,574
Oh, I'm sorry.
274
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,450
-I can't believe you just did that!
-I-I--
275
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,078
Right in front of my daughter?
What is wrong with you?
276
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:32,913
Do you have, like, zero social skills?
277
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,498
Mom, it's okay. I'm not a baby.
278
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,084
-[Natalie scoffs]
-Wait a minute!
279
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,169
Wait a minute. Oh, my mistake.
280
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,171
These are not birth control pills.
281
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,048
These are Tic-Tacs.
282
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:46,844
Just little pink and green
Tic-Tac candies.
283
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:50,097
But don't eat 'em.
They're… They're special,
284
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:54,643
adult, you know,
Tic-Tacs… [breathes deeply]
285
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,068
Detective Monk, wha-- [exhales]
286
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,904
What do you think these guys are after?
287
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,030
I don't know.
288
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:10,576
Okay, we… we have two intruders?
289
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,662
One last night, one two days ago.
290
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,999
Both in this room?
Where were they exactly?
291
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,626
Uh, just around the television.
292
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,265
Is this yours?
293
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,351
Um, no, mine's over there.
294
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,110
It's brand-new.
295
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,362
It's never been used.
296
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,238
I can't believe all those detectives
missed that.
297
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,406
Well, they probably saw it.
298
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:52,993
They just didn't give it a second thought.
299
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,162
Do you have a baggie?
300
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:57,539
Uh… yes.
301
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,429
Is this light always on?
302
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,348
Actually, it was off last night.
303
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:15,516
I didn't turn it on.
304
00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:16,600
Me neither.
305
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,477
Tell me about the fish.
306
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,145
[Julie] His name is Mr. Henry.
307
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,855
My father gave him to me.
308
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,983
Wait, w-wait, wait, wait.
309
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,651
You think they're after the fish?
310
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,861
Why?
311
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,248
[Monk] Ugh. Oh.
312
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,000
You smell that? What is that?
313
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,418
[Natalie] It's a pet store.
314
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,961
Haven't you ever been in a pet store?
315
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:45,045
[Monk] No.
316
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:46,171
What have you been doing?
317
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,507
For one thing,
I've been avoiding pet stores.
318
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,759
-Hey, Carl.
-Hello, Mrs. Teeger.
319
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,095
Hey. I wanna talk to you about this fish.
320
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:55,180
Is there anything special?
321
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,516
Anything unusual about him I should know?
322
00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:59,518
Like what? Is he sick?
323
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:00,853
He looks okay to me.
324
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,188
No, no, I mean, is he valuable?
325
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,023
He's just a marble fish, Mrs. Teeger.
326
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,734
We sell 'em for 99 cents.
327
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,235
We got about a thousand of 'em.
328
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:09,486
If you'd like your money back--
329
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,863
No, Carl, I'm not returning him.
330
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:12,364
[Natalie] Is there any reason
331
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,492
why someone might want
this particular fish?
332
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,870
I mean, really, really want him?
333
00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:22,249
Uh, well, he's sorta pretty.
334
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:24,209
And he's got a thin, black stripe
on his dorsal fin--
335
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,461
Mr. Monk, what do you think?
336
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,048
Mr. Monk?
337
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,215
Look at this guy.
338
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,302
He's eating out of two trays at one time.
339
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:38,223
He's keeping them even.
They're perfectly even.
340
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,808
Yeah, it's Sergeant Pepper.
341
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,518
Hey, you want him?
You can have him for free.
342
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:42,603
We can't get rid of him.
343
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,146
Customers keep bringing him back.
344
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:46,023
How come?
345
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:47,232
Mm, he's depressing,
346
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,776
he doesn't talk, he just mopes around,
347
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,652
cleaning himself,
straightening up his cage.
348
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:53,322
His cage always has to be perfect.
349
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,365
Hm. What's wrong with him?
350
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,242
His wife died.
351
00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:00,579
Yeah. That's right.
352
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,040
We had a female in there with him.
353
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,249
She died about a year ago.
354
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,667
He hasn't been the same ever since.
355
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,169
Why don't you put another female in?
356
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,378
[Monk] It won't work.
357
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:11,131
He'll never feel the same way
about anybody else.
358
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,508
[Carl] Yeah, that's right.
359
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,802
We tried it, but…
360
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,929
I'm afraid Sergeant Pepper's
just gonna grow old
361
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,306
and die alone in his little cage.
362
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,190
What was her name?
363
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,318
Trudy.
364
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:41,286
It's a goldfish.
365
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,289
Well, technically,
it's a crimson marble fish.
366
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,666
Is it extinct?
367
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,670
If it was extinct,
we wouldn't be looking at it, would we?
368
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:52,256
-Is it rare? Valuable?
-Costs about a dollar.
369
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:54,216
Any pet store has a hundred of 'em.
370
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,551
I don't know.
371
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,262
He brought a fishing net into the house.
372
00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:00,139
And he turned on the light
over the aquarium.
373
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,723
Well, does anybody have any ideas?
374
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,268
Maybe it swallowed something.
Like, a diamond.
375
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,895
Does anybody besides Randy have any ideas?
376
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,438
Monk, come here.
377
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,609
Look, how's it goin'?
378
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,194
I've been worried about you.
379
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,363
No, uh, I've been worried about me too.
380
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:19,241
How are those interviews going?
Did you find anybody?
381
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,201
I've narrowed it down.
382
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,452
To nobody.
383
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,124
Whatever happened with your wife's niece?
384
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:28,333
The one who's the nurse?
385
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,960
-She never called me.
-Yeah, I know.
386
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:31,044
Um…
387
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,214
here's the thing, Monk.
388
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:36,133
I love her.
389
00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:37,426
I understand.
390
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,011
[Disher] Captain!
391
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:41,138
We ID'd the intruder that, uh,
392
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:42,431
Miss Teeger killed.
393
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:44,892
Brian Lemmon. Minor league creep.
394
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:47,227
-[Stottlemeyer] Does that ring a bell?
-Never heard of him.
395
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:50,689
[Stottlemeyer] One, two, three…
five falls.
396
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:54,359
Couple of B&E's
and receiving stolen property.
397
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,570
Was there an address book
or anything in his wallet?
398
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:57,863
No wallet, no keys.
399
00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,948
Yeah, this is, uh, all we found.
400
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,742
It was in his back pocket.
401
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:04,328
"2:30 Sea of Tranquility." What is that?
402
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:05,871
-A club?
-[Stottlemeyer] I don't think so.
403
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:08,206
Who'd want to go to a club
called The Sea of Tranquility?
404
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,458
Besides you.
405
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,710
I think it's some kind of spa
or holistic retreat--
406
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:12,794
[Natalie]
No, it's not a spa.
407
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,463
It's an exhibit at the Science Museum.
408
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,089
My kid went there last week
on a field trip.
409
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,592
[dramatic theme playing]
410
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,143
Mitch wanted to be an astronaut.
411
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,646
That was his dream.
412
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,191
Three days after his plane went down,
413
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:36,568
he got a registered letter from NASA.
414
00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:39,696
He'd been accepted
into their training program.
415
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:44,159
It hurts, I know.
416
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,744
Life goes on.
417
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:50,707
Doesn't it?
418
00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:55,712
[man]
Hello! I'm a white corpuscle!
419
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,340
I'm an important part
of your body's defense system!
420
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,217
I travel through your bloodstream
421
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,760
and I fight bacteria
422
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:02,844
and diseases!
423
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,596
Would you like to know more about me?
424
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,765
No. I'd like to know less about you.
425
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:25,534
They weren't big
on dental hygiene, were they?
426
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,248
-Natalie.
-Hm?
427
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,209
This man didn't freeze to death.
428
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:36,837
He was murdered.
429
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,673
There's a puncture wound
in the side of his skull.
430
00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:41,717
It was over 30,000 years ago.
431
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,094
Well, there's no statute of limitations
on murder.
432
00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:49,933
I think I know what happened.
433
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:52,311
Detective Monk, why don't
we solve my case first?
434
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:53,812
Then we'll come back here later
435
00:21:53,895 --> 00:21:55,897
and figure out who killed Og, okay?
436
00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:05,240
[tour guide]
Welcome to the Sea of Tranquility,
437
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,660
where, on July 20th, 1969,
438
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:12,664
Commander Neil Armstrong
took one small step for man,
439
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,500
one giant leap for mankind.
440
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,794
And those of us that are
old enough to have seen it
441
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:19,504
will never forget it.
442
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:22,049
Now, over here is the highlight
of our exhibit.
443
00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:24,509
This is an actual moon rock
444
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:27,637
that was brought back
by the crew of Apollo 11.
445
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:29,473
There are only 234 moon rocks
446
00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:32,059
that were brought back to planet Earth.
447
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:34,478
And we've cut a little hole here
in the side of the exhibit
448
00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:35,896
so you can reach in with your fingers
449
00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:37,189
and touch it if you want to.
450
00:22:38,273 --> 00:22:39,524
That's the guy.
451
00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:40,984
Who, the tour guide?
452
00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,319
He's the meter reader.
453
00:22:42,402 --> 00:22:44,321
That's the guy that was in my house.
454
00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:56,208
This is called a Plasma Sphere.
455
00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:59,002
And inside the sphere,
there are millions of ions
456
00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:03,048
reacting to the electrical charge
to create what?
457
00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:05,342
[Monk] You said the meter man
had black hair.
458
00:23:05,425 --> 00:23:07,260
[Teeger]
He must've been wearing a wig.
459
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:10,430
But that's the guy. I work in a bar.
I'm good with faces.
460
00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:12,557
Maybe we should say something.
461
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:13,683
See how he reacts.
462
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:16,186
No, if he is the guy, we don't
want him to know we know.
463
00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:18,105
-Okay.
-Let's go.
464
00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:20,148
[announcer over PA]
Welcome to The Miracle of Birth.
465
00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:21,775
Sexual reproduction
466
00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:23,610
is the fertilization of the female egg…
467
00:23:23,693 --> 00:23:24,778
We're gonna step carefully
468
00:23:24,861 --> 00:23:26,238
through this opening into the womb,
469
00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:29,658
and then we're gonna take a left
up the fallopian tubes.
470
00:23:30,617 --> 00:23:32,244
Here we go.
471
00:23:32,327 --> 00:23:33,829
Do it carefully. That's it.
472
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,330
Turn sideways if you have to.
473
00:23:35,413 --> 00:23:36,915
Now you're in the womb.
474
00:23:36,998 --> 00:23:39,793
Go left up the fallopian tubes.
475
00:23:39,876 --> 00:23:41,461
There we go.
476
00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:47,175
[announcer] Welcome
to the Miracle of Birth.
477
00:23:47,717 --> 00:23:50,053
-Sexual reproduction…
-[Monk] Oh, no. No, no, no.
478
00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:52,889
Detective Monk, hurry up.
He's getting away!
479
00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:55,225
[announcer] You are standing
in the uterus…
480
00:23:55,308 --> 00:23:57,394
-which is commonly called…
-Hurry!
481
00:24:03,024 --> 00:24:06,403
-What are you doing?
-[Monk grunts]
482
00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:08,071
Wait. Okay, wait, wait, wait.
483
00:24:08,155 --> 00:24:09,614
Wait-- No, listen.
484
00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:12,659
Maybe I… I should've
mentioned this earlier, but…
485
00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:16,163
I… See, the thing is,
I have a number of phobias.
486
00:24:16,246 --> 00:24:17,330
You? No.
487
00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:19,666
Oh, yes. Yes, and one of them,
488
00:24:19,749 --> 00:24:22,586
near the top of the list, actually,
489
00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:24,171
is The Miracle of Birth.
490
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:26,339
Y-You're gonna be okay.
Just take my hand.
491
00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:28,675
[grunts]
492
00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:30,468
[breathing heavily]
493
00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:32,470
-Okay, fetus ahead!
-Ah, yeah.
494
00:24:34,764 --> 00:24:36,099
Oh, no!
495
00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:37,767
Ooh, I can't go up there.
496
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:40,478
Ah, I-I don't even know this woman.
497
00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:42,439
-Okay, but we're gonna lose him!
-[Monk groans]
498
00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:44,399
Eh, pretend you're in a funhouse!
499
00:24:44,482 --> 00:24:47,694
Funhou-- No. What's fun
about fallopian tubes?
500
00:24:47,777 --> 00:24:49,237
I can't. I gotta…
501
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:50,947
I can't now.
502
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:52,490
You know what, just forget it, okay?
503
00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:55,577
-We're outta here.
-Uh, okay.
504
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:58,622
Wait-- No, no, no. We have to go
through the pelvis.
505
00:24:58,705 --> 00:25:00,749
I think this is gonna be a cesarean.
506
00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:02,667
[alarm blaring]
507
00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:09,216
Here he is. Lyle Peck, tour guide.
508
00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:10,550
Okay, all right.
509
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:13,303
I will have the captain
run a check on him.
510
00:25:13,386 --> 00:25:15,430
I can't believe you freaked out like that.
511
00:25:15,513 --> 00:25:17,265
Human sexuality is a natural thing.
512
00:25:18,516 --> 00:25:20,936
Well, we disagree about that.
513
00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:41,957
[Julie] Are you hungry?
514
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,459
Here you go.
515
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:47,295
And you bought this kit
in the gift shop at the museum?
516
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:48,421
Uh-huh.
517
00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:50,590
Was the box open when you bought it?
518
00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:52,259
Maybe, I don't know.
519
00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:54,177
You think they're after something
from the kit?
520
00:25:54,261 --> 00:25:56,179
Well, Peck works at the museum.
521
00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:57,931
He might've stashed something in the box,
522
00:25:58,014 --> 00:25:59,557
and now he's trying to get it back.
523
00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:02,435
Honey, when you bought this,
did you give 'em your name?
524
00:26:02,519 --> 00:26:04,354
I might've signed a mailing list.
525
00:26:06,189 --> 00:26:09,401
What exactly was in the kit?
526
00:26:09,484 --> 00:26:12,279
Um, a rock, the treasure chest,
the deep sea diver,
527
00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:14,364
and some gravel.
528
00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:16,074
Look in the treasure chest.
529
00:26:16,157 --> 00:26:17,742
[Monk] Nah… nothing.
530
00:26:17,826 --> 00:26:19,119
[Natalie] What about the gravel?
531
00:26:19,202 --> 00:26:21,413
I don't see it.
532
00:26:21,496 --> 00:26:24,207
I'd like to take this whole aquarium
back to the lab.
533
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:25,417
Okay.
534
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:27,252
Oh, wait, you know what, you can't.
535
00:26:27,335 --> 00:26:29,379
Uh, there's a science fair
at Julie's school tonight.
536
00:26:29,462 --> 00:26:31,214
This is her project.
537
00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:32,632
Not anymore.
538
00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:33,800
What do you mean?
539
00:26:33,883 --> 00:26:35,719
Mr. Franklin disqualified me.
540
00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:38,096
He disqualified you?
541
00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:50,608
Mr. Franklin, I'm Natalie Teeger.
542
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:51,735
I'm Julie's mother.
543
00:26:51,818 --> 00:26:53,028
Oh, yes.
544
00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:55,280
I remember you from parents' night.
545
00:26:55,363 --> 00:26:56,948
Excuse the mess.
We've been making volcanoes.
546
00:26:57,032 --> 00:27:00,493
Did you tell Julie she couldn't bring
her fish to the science fair?
547
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,288
Yes. I did.
548
00:27:04,497 --> 00:27:06,583
Mrs. Teeger, sit, please.
549
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,879
Or stand. That's fine.
550
00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:15,216
Mrs. Teeger, you need to understand
I teach Science,
551
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:17,385
not Science Fiction.
552
00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:18,636
I can't approve a project
553
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,555
if a student is just making things up.
554
00:27:20,638 --> 00:27:22,223
Are you saying Julie is lying?
555
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,975
I don't know what to say.
556
00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:26,019
I've seen Julie's fish.
557
00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:28,021
It's an ordinary crimson marble fish.
558
00:27:28,104 --> 00:27:30,190
She said she's had it since she was five.
559
00:27:31,441 --> 00:27:33,401
-Yeah, that's right.
-That's impossible.
560
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:36,696
A marble fish lives a year,
year and a half at most.
561
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:39,240
Either Judy's mistaken,
or she's trying to pull a fast one.
562
00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:42,160
Either way, I have an obligation
to my other students.
563
00:27:43,995 --> 00:27:45,080
[Natalie] Hmph.
564
00:27:52,045 --> 00:27:53,421
What are you doing?
565
00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:55,924
Well, I wasn't happy with the way this--
566
00:27:56,007 --> 00:27:57,217
Okay, you know, it doesn't matter.
567
00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:58,760
What do you call a guy who studies fish?
568
00:27:58,843 --> 00:28:01,429
-An ichthyologist.
-That's what you are.
569
00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:02,514
No, I'm not.
570
00:28:02,597 --> 00:28:03,765
Yes, you are.
571
00:28:03,848 --> 00:28:05,058
I really don't think I am.
572
00:28:05,141 --> 00:28:06,768
Yeah, for the next five minutes, you are.
573
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:08,144
I need you to tell Julie's teacher
574
00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:11,189
that a marble fish can live
longer than two years, okay?
575
00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:13,900
Wait a minute, what? Wait, Natalie.
576
00:28:13,983 --> 00:28:15,652
Wait a second. Wait.
577
00:28:15,735 --> 00:28:18,405
Ah, here's the thing. Uh, I can't lie.
578
00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:19,948
Uh, I'm not good at it.
579
00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:21,366
I got lucky with that Tic-Tac thing.
580
00:28:21,449 --> 00:28:22,867
Are you a man?
581
00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:24,619
-Am I a--
-Are you a man?
582
00:28:24,702 --> 00:28:25,995
-Yes.
-Then you can lie.
583
00:28:26,079 --> 00:28:27,247
That's what men do.
584
00:28:29,624 --> 00:28:30,834
Mr. Franklin?
585
00:28:30,917 --> 00:28:33,086
Uh, when Julie told me about your problem,
586
00:28:33,169 --> 00:28:35,130
I called Berkeley and talked
to the Science Department,
587
00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:36,673
and found my own expert.
588
00:28:36,756 --> 00:28:39,759
This is Professor Larry Tilburn.
589
00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:42,137
He was kind enough
to meet me here this morning.
590
00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:43,638
Hi.
591
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,682
Hello.
592
00:28:49,352 --> 00:28:51,813
He's an ick… icky--
593
00:28:51,896 --> 00:28:53,273
-Ichthyologist.
-Ichthyologist.
594
00:28:53,356 --> 00:28:54,816
He's world renowned.
595
00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:58,528
Has written just a page-turner
of a book on freshwater fish.
596
00:28:58,611 --> 00:28:59,696
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
597
00:28:59,779 --> 00:29:01,197
What's it called?
598
00:29:02,699 --> 00:29:06,578
Fresh Water Fish, by Larry Tilburn.
599
00:29:06,661 --> 00:29:08,496
Mm. Great title.
600
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:11,624
Uh, I tried to read it,
and just forget it.
601
00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:13,209
[laughs]
602
00:29:17,380 --> 00:29:18,590
Professor?
603
00:29:19,466 --> 00:29:21,050
Professor Tilburn?
604
00:29:22,218 --> 00:29:23,636
Professor Tilburn.
605
00:29:24,929 --> 00:29:27,390
Mr. Franklin here doesn't
think that Julie's fish--
606
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:29,601
you know, the one that I showed you--
607
00:29:29,684 --> 00:29:31,728
could live longer than a year or two.
608
00:29:31,811 --> 00:29:33,688
What do you think?
609
00:29:35,982 --> 00:29:37,192
I think it can.
610
00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:38,443
I don't see how.
611
00:29:38,526 --> 00:29:40,945
It's a common variety marble fish.
612
00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:42,530
Has a miniscule genome size
613
00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:44,991
and almost no immune system.
614
00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:49,078
[whispers]
Let's go. Let's get outta here.
615
00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:50,371
[whispers indistinctly]
616
00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:52,248
That's true.
617
00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:55,793
That's true… about most marble fish.
618
00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:58,463
But this is a completely
different species.
619
00:29:58,546 --> 00:30:03,885
This is the North… Korean marble fish.
620
00:30:03,968 --> 00:30:05,803
North Korean?
621
00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:08,431
It's a very strong fish.
622
00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:11,142
It's a very tough fish.
623
00:30:11,226 --> 00:30:14,938
Would have to be to live
in a country like, uh…
624
00:30:16,272 --> 00:30:17,357
[both]
North Korea.
625
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:18,775
[Natalie] Right.
626
00:30:19,859 --> 00:30:22,237
This fish could live for…
627
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,073
oh, my God, three or four years.
628
00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:26,616
Four and a half…
629
00:30:26,699 --> 00:30:27,826
or five.
630
00:30:27,909 --> 00:30:29,202
-Or six.
-[Natalie] Mm-hmm.
631
00:30:30,119 --> 00:30:32,789
Or six-- six-- That's it. Six years.
632
00:30:32,872 --> 00:30:34,249
I'd like to read your book.
633
00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:36,459
What did you say your name was?
634
00:30:36,543 --> 00:30:37,585
Tilburn.
635
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:40,004
-Larry…
-[keyboard clacks]
636
00:30:41,005 --> 00:30:43,007
T-I-L-B-U-R-N?
637
00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:44,717
Okay, okay, okay, okay!
638
00:30:47,595 --> 00:30:51,182
Truth is, it's not the same fish.
639
00:30:51,266 --> 00:30:53,017
-Yes, it is. Sure it is.
-Let it go.
640
00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:55,728
I've replaced it every year.
641
00:30:56,646 --> 00:30:58,731
Julie's dad gave it to her before he died.
642
00:30:58,815 --> 00:31:00,316
I don't have the heart to tell the truth.
643
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,402
It's all that she has left of him.
644
00:31:02,485 --> 00:31:04,654
So, Mr. Franklin, if you wanna
call that little girl
645
00:31:04,737 --> 00:31:07,031
and tell her that the fish
that she's been talking to
646
00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:10,410
and praying to for
the last six years is dead, then…
647
00:31:10,493 --> 00:31:11,703
you know what, go ahead!
648
00:31:11,786 --> 00:31:12,912
I'll dial it for you.
649
00:31:12,996 --> 00:31:14,831
Okay, okay. I didn't know.
650
00:31:15,748 --> 00:31:17,667
She can bring the fish
to the science fair.
651
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:21,379
If you like, I'll even swing by your house
later and pick up the aquarium.
652
00:31:21,462 --> 00:31:22,672
Thank you.
653
00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:24,716
But I can't give her an award.
654
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:27,302
Mr. Franklin, she doesn't need an award.
655
00:31:27,385 --> 00:31:29,137
She just needs to make it
through middle school
656
00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:30,471
without fallin' apart.
657
00:31:31,097 --> 00:31:32,098
Thank you, sir.
658
00:31:33,182 --> 00:31:34,726
Thank you, sir.
659
00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:39,022
You really are the worst liar
in the whole world.
660
00:31:39,105 --> 00:31:40,607
I tried to tell you that.
661
00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:42,108
[scoffs]
662
00:31:42,191 --> 00:31:43,484
An honest man.
663
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:45,945
Who'd have thunk it?
664
00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:49,908
Come on, Larry. I'll take you home.
665
00:31:49,991 --> 00:31:52,118
[gentle dramatic theme playing]
666
00:31:52,201 --> 00:31:53,745
[chattering indistinctly]
667
00:32:17,268 --> 00:32:19,395
I'll just be a minute.
I have to pick up my check.
668
00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:20,563
It's a nice place.
669
00:32:20,647 --> 00:32:21,814
It's a toilet.
670
00:32:21,898 --> 00:32:24,442
Uh, wouldn't exactly call it a toilet.
671
00:32:24,525 --> 00:32:25,610
Um, have a seat.
672
00:32:25,693 --> 00:32:27,362
Where?
673
00:32:27,445 --> 00:32:31,032
[Natalie] Uh, well, there's a lot
of chairs. Take your pick.
674
00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:32,992
[Monk] Ugh.
675
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:38,373
How about that one?
676
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:43,711
Or that one.
677
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,839
Natalie, so I've been thinking.
678
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:52,929
Uh, if you… if you really hate it here…
679
00:32:53,012 --> 00:32:56,432
I mean, if you're really not happy…
680
00:32:57,225 --> 00:32:59,602
If you really hate it here…
681
00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:03,940
I am looking for a new assistant.
682
00:33:06,192 --> 00:33:08,027
Thank you, Adrian. I appreciate that.
683
00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:09,737
But I'm not the "Girl Friday" type.
684
00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:11,155
Yeah, I understand.
685
00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:13,616
I couldn't work for me either.
686
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:15,201
To tell you the truth,
687
00:33:15,284 --> 00:33:19,789
I don't know how… how Sharona
lasted as long as she did.
688
00:33:28,589 --> 00:33:30,508
Hey, Clem, I need to pick up my paycheck.
689
00:33:30,591 --> 00:33:32,844
Yeah, right here.
690
00:33:32,927 --> 00:33:35,013
Actually, I was just about to call you.
691
00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:37,181
Carly just walked.
I need you to fill in tonight.
692
00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:38,266
Yeah, I can't help you.
693
00:33:38,349 --> 00:33:40,059
There's a science fair at my kid's school.
694
00:33:40,143 --> 00:33:42,061
Well, I got a kid too, but I'm here.
695
00:33:42,145 --> 00:33:43,730
Your kid's in jail, Clem.
696
00:33:43,813 --> 00:33:45,606
You think that's funny, huh?
697
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:49,110
You know, Teeger, I'm getting
pretty tired of your attitude.
698
00:33:49,193 --> 00:33:52,947
The last time I asked you
to help me out here, you bailed on me.
699
00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:54,699
Are you talking about yesterday?
700
00:33:54,782 --> 00:33:56,451
Sorry I couldn't be here, Clem.
701
00:33:56,534 --> 00:33:58,703
I was watchin' the cops
carry a body out of my house.
702
00:33:58,786 --> 00:34:00,413
Yeah. I heard about that.
703
00:34:00,496 --> 00:34:02,707
Well, I guess you did
what you had to do.
704
00:34:02,790 --> 00:34:03,916
Yeah.
705
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,377
And that's exactly
what I'm doing right now.
706
00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:08,337
I got a business to run, Teeger.
707
00:34:08,421 --> 00:34:11,632
So you wanna see more of these or not?
708
00:34:15,511 --> 00:34:17,221
Fine. I'll be here.
709
00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:18,765
Good.
710
00:34:20,266 --> 00:34:21,392
Where are you?
711
00:34:24,937 --> 00:34:26,189
Ready?
712
00:34:26,272 --> 00:34:28,399
Natalie. I know what they're after.
713
00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:29,942
-You do?
-Where's Julie?
714
00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:31,944
Wh-Where's Julie?
715
00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,615
[boy] This is my fire extinguisher.
716
00:34:35,698 --> 00:34:38,576
I invented it myself using an oxygen tank,
717
00:34:38,659 --> 00:34:41,829
some compressed air,
and an ordinary garden hose.
718
00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:44,165
-[Monk] Where is she?
-I don't know. I don't know.
719
00:34:44,248 --> 00:34:45,291
Oh, Stacy.
720
00:34:45,374 --> 00:34:47,877
-Have you seen Julie?
-I think she's over there.
721
00:34:51,005 --> 00:34:52,381
[Monk] Captain, thank you for coming.
722
00:34:52,465 --> 00:34:53,716
Okay, fill me in.
723
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,676
Okay. I know what they've been after.
724
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,053
Look.
725
00:34:58,554 --> 00:35:00,264
The moon rock?
726
00:35:00,348 --> 00:35:02,308
It's the most valuable rock in the world.
727
00:35:02,391 --> 00:35:04,227
It's more valuable than any diamond.
728
00:35:04,310 --> 00:35:05,686
A rock half this size
729
00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:08,147
was sold in Japan for $2 million.
730
00:35:08,231 --> 00:35:09,440
-Okay…
-Well, I knew
731
00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:12,193
that I had seen that rock before
somewhere.
732
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:14,529
It was in Julie Teeger's aquarium.
733
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:17,824
It was right in front of us
the whole time.
734
00:35:17,907 --> 00:35:19,116
Here's what happened:
735
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:20,993
There's a tour guide
at the museum named Peck.
736
00:35:21,077 --> 00:35:22,537
Lyle Peck.
737
00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:26,040
Last weekend, he stole the moon rock.
738
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:29,335
It was probably Sunday night,
after they closed.
739
00:35:30,336 --> 00:35:32,588
He waited until the guards were distracted
740
00:35:32,672 --> 00:35:34,340
or between shifts.
741
00:35:34,423 --> 00:35:36,092
Peck has worked there for years.
742
00:35:36,175 --> 00:35:37,802
He's practically a fixture,
743
00:35:37,885 --> 00:35:40,346
so he definitely knew their routine.
744
00:35:40,429 --> 00:35:42,181
[Stottlemeyer] Why didn't
the museum report it?
745
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:43,766
[Monk]
The museum never missed it.
746
00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:47,228
They didn't know it was stolen.
They still don't.
747
00:35:47,311 --> 00:35:50,731
Peck replaced it with an exact duplicate.
748
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:53,151
Wait, you mean
this is just a regular rock?
749
00:35:53,234 --> 00:35:55,278
Son of a bitch, I stood in line
for half an hour
750
00:35:55,361 --> 00:35:56,696
just to touch this stupid thing.
751
00:35:56,779 --> 00:35:58,573
Right. But Peck had a problem.
752
00:35:58,656 --> 00:36:00,658
He still had to get the moon rock
753
00:36:00,741 --> 00:36:02,076
out of the building.
754
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,370
But they were searching everybody,
even the employees.
755
00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:08,749
[Monk] So since there was
no way for him to get it
756
00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:12,628
through security, he had to improvise.
757
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,965
He hid the rock in the gift shop.
758
00:36:16,757 --> 00:36:19,093
Inside one of those aquarium kits.
759
00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:24,348
Then he marked the box.
760
00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:26,934
He probably planned to have
his accomplice, Brian Lemmon,
761
00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:28,853
pick it up the next morning.
762
00:36:29,687 --> 00:36:32,148
[Stottlemeyer]
But the girl got there first.
763
00:36:32,231 --> 00:36:35,151
[Monk] Exactly. Julie Teeger
bought it that morning
764
00:36:35,234 --> 00:36:36,694
-and took it home.
-[Julie] I'm coming.
765
00:36:40,656 --> 00:36:42,742
The next day, Peck tried to steal it,
766
00:36:42,825 --> 00:36:44,493
posing as a meter reader.
767
00:36:44,577 --> 00:36:47,121
When that didn't work,
Brian Lemmon broke in.
768
00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,831
But he didn't count on Natalie waking up
769
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:50,625
or that pair of scissors.
770
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:52,376
[chuckling]
771
00:36:52,460 --> 00:36:53,669
What?
772
00:36:54,670 --> 00:36:55,713
You're back.
773
00:36:57,214 --> 00:36:58,883
-[Julie] Okay, here we go.
-[Monk] Natalie…
774
00:36:58,966 --> 00:37:00,301
This is Mr. Henry.
775
00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:02,345
-You gotta grab that rock.
-No, no. Just wait.
776
00:37:02,428 --> 00:37:03,512
Mr. Henry is a marble fish.
777
00:37:03,596 --> 00:37:06,515
And most marble fish
only live for about a year.
778
00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:09,644
But Mr. Henry is six years old,
779
00:37:09,727 --> 00:37:11,437
and he's still as frisky as ever.
780
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,523
And that is thanks to my special diet
781
00:37:14,607 --> 00:37:17,735
of ground-up vitamins, Rice Krispies,
782
00:37:17,818 --> 00:37:19,111
and cucumbers.
783
00:37:19,195 --> 00:37:21,072
[light applause]
784
00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:43,678
Fire!
785
00:37:43,761 --> 00:37:45,096
It's on fire!
786
00:37:45,179 --> 00:37:46,430
[people clamoring]
787
00:37:48,724 --> 00:37:50,601
[Stottlemeyer]
All right, everybody stay calm.
788
00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:52,770
No running! Stay calm.
789
00:37:52,853 --> 00:37:53,896
Here use this.
790
00:37:53,980 --> 00:37:55,022
It's a fire extinguisher.
791
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:56,732
Hey, thanks, kid.
792
00:38:00,319 --> 00:38:01,696
What's in this?
793
00:38:01,779 --> 00:38:02,780
Turpentine.
794
00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:23,342
He stole my fish!
795
00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:24,844
-[Julie] Hey!
-[Monk] Peck!
796
00:38:25,511 --> 00:38:26,512
Peck!
797
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:08,220
[grunting]
798
00:39:25,571 --> 00:39:27,281
[Peck groaning]
799
00:39:38,584 --> 00:39:39,668
[Monk] Oh, God.
800
00:39:42,671 --> 00:39:43,839
[Monk] I got him!
801
00:39:48,344 --> 00:39:49,762
[Stottlemeyer] Peck!
802
00:39:49,845 --> 00:39:51,138
Don't move.
803
00:39:53,057 --> 00:39:54,433
On your face.
804
00:40:02,691 --> 00:40:04,527
[Monk] Look out, I got a fish here!
805
00:40:04,610 --> 00:40:07,738
Coming through, flopping around!
I got flopping fish here!
806
00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:12,159
Oh, Monk! Monk.
807
00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:13,702
Aah!
808
00:40:14,703 --> 00:40:16,038
-[Natalie] Get him
-[Julie] Get him.
809
00:40:16,122 --> 00:40:17,790
-[Julie] Hurry, hurry!
-Hold on, Mr. Henry.
810
00:40:17,873 --> 00:40:20,501
[Monk] Look out! Coming through.
Coming through.
811
00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:24,463
[Julie] You saved him.
812
00:40:28,759 --> 00:40:30,261
Oh.
813
00:40:37,935 --> 00:40:39,562
Thank you.
814
00:40:45,776 --> 00:40:47,611
[Natalie and Julie laughing]
815
00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:52,867
Pretty crazy day, huh?
816
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:54,493
Think you'll be able to sleep?
817
00:40:54,577 --> 00:40:55,661
Yeah, I think so.
818
00:40:56,370 --> 00:40:57,413
How's Mr. Henry?
819
00:40:57,496 --> 00:40:58,956
Oh, he's fine.
820
00:40:59,039 --> 00:41:00,749
He's a very brave fish.
821
00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:04,295
Mr. Monk saved his life.
822
00:41:04,378 --> 00:41:07,840
You know that moon rock
is worth over two million bucks?
823
00:41:07,923 --> 00:41:09,842
But when Mr. Henry was in trouble,
824
00:41:09,925 --> 00:41:12,720
Mr. Monk forgot all about that moon rock.
825
00:41:12,803 --> 00:41:15,389
All he cared about was saving Mr. Henry.
826
00:41:16,515 --> 00:41:19,226
I could only think of one other man
in the whole world
827
00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:21,061
who would have done something like that.
828
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:22,104
Daddy.
829
00:41:23,397 --> 00:41:24,607
Daddy.
830
00:41:25,357 --> 00:41:26,525
[Natalie] Mmm.
831
00:41:28,194 --> 00:41:29,612
I love you, angel.
832
00:41:29,695 --> 00:41:31,238
Love you too.
833
00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:32,740
Okay, good night.
834
00:41:32,823 --> 00:41:34,033
Good night.
835
00:41:34,116 --> 00:41:35,743
[Natalie] Oh, sleep well.
836
00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:57,973
Mr. Monk, it's Natalie Teeger.
837
00:41:58,057 --> 00:41:59,391
Yeah, I was calling to see
838
00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:01,602
if you still needed the assistant.
839
00:42:02,686 --> 00:42:04,522
No, I can't come tonight.
840
00:42:05,314 --> 00:42:06,941
Because I can't leave my daughter.
841
00:42:08,108 --> 00:42:10,069
Okay, okay, okay, just relax.
842
00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:12,363
How big is the spider?
843
00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:19,787
[theme music playing]
58826
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