All language subtitles for Monk_S03E08_Mr. Monk and the Game Show.English (CC)

[TV game show theme music playing]

Here's another geography
question for $1,000.

What mountain range separates Casablanca

from the Sahara Desert?

Is it "A," the Himalayas,
"B," the Atlas Mountains,

"C," the Pyrenees,
or "D," the Aberdare Mountains?

-[clicks stop]
-Doesn't prove anything.

It proves everything, and you know it.

Do you want to see it again?

No thanks. I hate watching myself on TV.

Roddy, why did you do it?

Have you ever been in debt, Lizzie?

And I mean real debt.

[laughs] It changes everything.

-That's no excuse.
-What are you doing?

The right thing.

Look, Lizzie, if this is
your way of asking for a raise,

it worked.

Hey, how much do you want?

I don't want money, Roddy. I'm not you.

All right, you don't want money.
What do you want?

I want to be able to sleep at night.

I want to be able to be proud
of the show the way I used to be.

What are you gonna do, slip it
under the producer's door anonymously?

Didn't even have the courage
to write your own name on it.

Aw, Lizzie, all right, look, I'm sorry.

Hey, it'll never happen again.

Damn right it won't.

Okay, okay.

Look, you win.

I'll quit the show.

But just give me one day.

Let me do it on my own,

so I can do it
with whatever's left of my dignity.

-If this is a trick, I don't--
-It's not a trick. It's not a trick.

I swear to you. Watch-- Watch tonight.

Before the bonus round,
I'll make an announcement.

God help me.

Okay.

Okay.

[solemn music playing]

[Roddy sighs]

How about another drink
before I walk the plank?

Sure.

[suspenseful music playing]

[car alarm chirps]

[snap]

[audience applauding on TV]

[Roddy] Thank you.
Welcome back to Treasure Chest.

I'm Roddy Lankman.

Well, before we start the bonus round,

I do have an important
announcement to make.

-It's about time.
-My contract here at Treasure Chest

is almost up, and a lot of people

have been asking what my plans are.

Well, this afternoon,
I made a big decision,

and I'd like to share it
with all you people.

I just signed a new five-year contract,

which means I'm gonna be right here

doing what I always do

for as long as they want me to be here.

What do you think about that?

[engine starts]

[dramatic music playing]

[tires screeching]

[grunting]

Oh, my God. Come on.

Oh, my God. Oh, my--

Stop--

Come on.

Oh, my God.

[screams]

["It's a Jungle Out There"
by Randy Newman playing]

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Disorder and confusion everywhere ♪

♪ No one seems to care ♪

♪ Well, I do ♪

♪ Hey, who's in charge here? ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Poison in the very air we breathe ♪

♪ Do you know what's
In the water that you drink? ♪

♪ Well, I do, and it's amazing ♪

♪ People think I'm crazy
'Cause I worry all the time ♪

♪ If you paid attention
You'd be worried too ♪

♪ You better pay attention
Or this world we love so much ♪

♪ Might just kill you ♪

♪ I could be wrong now ♪

♪ But I don't think so ♪

♪ 'Cause it's a jungle out there ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

-[Kevin] Oh, this is looking good.
-[Monk] You think so?

[Kevin] Oh, it's looking fantastic.

A little more mayonnaise,

a pinch of paprika.

Maybe two pinches. Maybe three pinches.

-Okay, that's perfect.
-Maybe four pinches.

Okay, Kevin, I think
that's enough. Thank you.

We are going to need some pepper,

and I think I have some upstairs.

Maybe I should bring
all my seasonings down here

if we're gonna be cooking all week.

All week?

Here's something
you might find interesting.

This is only the eighth time in my life

I have ever had egg salad.

Really?

And how much do you want
to bet I can name all eight?

The first time was in third grade.

I traded sandwiches with a kid
named Stuart Kramer.

Then three years after that,

my cousin's confirmation party.

Two years after that,
I was in a restaurant.

I ordered tuna fish. Do you like to laugh?

No, I don't.

Get ready to,
because I knew it was egg salad.

I could smell it,

but the waitress kept saying
to me, "No, it's tuna fish."

-[telephone rings]
-Phone.

We're on number three.
Remember where we are.

Hello?

Oh, Sharona.

Sharona, how-- How's your mom?

Oh, good. Oh, thank God.

Thank God for modern medicine.

Not-- Not too good, actually.

He's in the kitchen right now

naming every egg salad
sandwich he ever had.

Eight, including today.

It's not funny.

Stop-- Stop laughing.

Sharona, I don't-- I don't know why
you asked him to look in on me.

I-- I'm not a child. Please stop laughing.

Okay, I'll call you back.
Give her my best.

Okay.

And when you come back…

bring a gun.

Okay. Bye.

That was Sharona.

She won't be coming back until Monday.

Monday. Wow.

We are going to need some more food.

Let's make a list.

Okay.

Bread, juice,

paprika…

milk…

-Aah!
-Aah! No milk. Right.

Crossing that off the list.

Adding to the list: bok choy.

-[doorbell rings]
-Doorbell.

[Kevin] Who is it?

It's Trudy's father.

It's my father-in-law.

Yeah, he called this morning.

Why didn't you tell me?

I did. I wrote it on a Post-It note.

We need more of those, by the way.

We're out of them.

Adrian.

Dwight.

Dad.

[both laugh]

Yeah.

-I missed you too.
-[Monk sobs]

Mr. E., here's your coffee.

Sorry it took so long.

I'm still not used to that kitchen.

Careful. It's hot.

Thank you, Kevin.

Oh. There's something in there.

That's a raisin. I put it in
to sweeten the coffee.

Little trick I picked up

when I was waiting tables
in Aspen, Colorado,

which I did for two summers.
Not two consecutive summers,

'cause there was a summer in between--

-Thank you, Kevin.
-Thank you, Kevin.

-Okay. Okay.
-Delicious.

Oh, happy birthday.

Oh, thank you.

Did you get my card?

Uh, yes, I did.

Did you look inside?

'Cause the punch line was on the inside.

Yes, I did. [chuckles] It was very funny.

It was a pun.

It was very funny.

It's on my mantel.
Everybody likes it. [chuckles]

How is Marcia?

Much better.

She's, uh, volunteering
as a grief counselor.

Believe me, she's good at it.

Send her my love.

Well, I was hoping
that wouldn't be necessary.

That's why I'm here. I was hoping…

you might come back
with me to Los Angeles.

I'm, uh, producing a new game show.

It's called Treasure Chest.

[dish rattles]

Wow. Wow.

Is that your show?
Because I love that show.

Who comes up with all those questions?

Well, we have a staff of writers.

'Cause I'll tell you something:

That is something I've always
thought I would be good at.

I'm always asking people questions,

and a lot of the time,
they are genuinely stumped.

That's true. We are.

Adrian…

my little show's in trouble.

I think it's serious.

What is it?

Well, I'd rather you see for yourself.

Do you think you could come down to L.A.

for a couple of days?

Plenty of room.

Marcia would love it.

Oh, uh, I'm sorry.

Dwight, I-I can't.

Uh, I-I-I can't just leave.

Sharona's not here.

I'm here.

We could go.

Uh, I don't know.

Come on, it'll be fun.

Three guys on a road trip to Hollywood.

[quirky music playing]

[people chattering]

[Kevin] Is Roddy Lankman here?

Lenny, tell Bernie not to start
the music cues too soon.

Make sure the affiliates
are sitting in the front row.

Mr. E., is Roddy Lankman here?

-He's probably in makeup.
-Okay.

Do you think I could talk to him?
'Cause I have some ideas

that I'd like to run by him.

-Don't worry, I won't embarrass you.
-I'm sure you won't.

It's just that Roddy doesn't like
to be disturbed before the show.

Tanya.

This is Kevin Dorfman,

a friend of mine from San Francisco.

Would you mind showing him around?

-I'd be happy to.
-You're the pointer.

-[Tanya chuckles]
-Oh, point to something.

It looks better.

She makes everything look better, Tanya.

Hey, how did you get this job?

I want you to meet someone.

Val Birch.

This is my old friend Adrian Monk.

Adrian. [chuckles]

Gym class must have been hell

with a name like that.

Yes. Yes, it was. Thank you.

You nearly done,
or do you just like touching me?

-[sound tech] Almost done.
-Adrian's here from San Francisco.

Oh, Frisco-- god-awful town.

I was there last year.

It was foggy the whole week.

When are they gonna do
something about all that fog?

Well, I-I don't know.
I'll make some calls.

[Val] I couldn't see a damn thing,

-not even that, um…
-[can rattles]

uh, golden bridge they got.

The Golden Gate.

No, genius, the bridge.

Right. That's what
they call it-- the Golden…

[Val] Okay, okay.

Testing, one, two, three.
We're done, okay?

[Monk] Yeah.

That idiot's won seven times in a row.

Adrian, I know he's cheating.

I just can't figure out how.

Roddy Lankman?

Uh, yeah.

Kevin Dorfman.

I'm a big fan of yours, sir. A major fan.

Okay, how you doing?

Look, I know we just met, Roddy,

but I understand you have
your own production company.

Well, that's good,
because I have an idea for a show,

and if you're interested,
we can produce it together.

-I really can't.
-Okay.

It's called Forty Winks.

In a nutshell,

three contestants, three beds.

The first one who falls asleep wins.

So we're watching people fall asleep?

Exactly.

You snooze, you win.

[Roddy] I can't do that.

I-I can't even really talk
to strangers about ideas.

It's for legal reasons.

Well, it's a good thing
I'm not a stranger, then.

I'm friends with Dwight Ellison.

Oh, really?

I'm here with Adrian Monk, the detective.

Detective?

Yeah, from San Francisco.

Dwight brought him here to look around.

[whispers] He's having
some sort of problem with the show.

Huh.

-Nice to meet you.
-All right.

A detective?

Will you keep it down?

He's from San Francisco.
That's all I know.

So what?

So what?

He's gonna be watching us.

So let him watch.

He's not gonna figure it out.

The system is perfect.

Now, look, here's what's gonna happen--

I'm gonna win tonight,
I'm gonna win tomorrow,

and I'm gonna keep on winning
until I say we're done.

It's too dangerous.

It's too dangerous, huh?

Well, I guess
you should have thought of that

before you killed your assistant.

Now let's go back inside.

It's showtime.

[people chattering]

[Dwight] It's driving me nuts, Adrian.

I need someone to look
at this from a different angle.

Maybe I'm missing something.

-Are you sure he's cheating?
-He has to be.

That Neanderthal Val Birch--

He's been answering
graduate-level questions

in geography, history, astronomy.

Nobody's that smart-- not even you.

So he has to be getting
the questions in advance.

Maybe somebody's helping him--
one of the writers.

I thought of that.

For the last two weeks,

I've been writing
all the questions myself.

These are the ones we're using tonight.

Who else gets to see these?

Nobody.

Not the director, not even Roddy.

These envelopes stay sealed

until he opens them on stage
during the actual game.

What are you doing? What is that?

It's Roddy Lankman's pencil.

Yeah, those are his teeth marks.

This is what you call a collectible.

You can look, but don't touch.

I don't want to touch it.

Yeah, right. Seriously, don't touch it.

[announcer over P.A.]
Live from Hollywood, California,

let's grab those shovels and go digging,

'cause the name of the game
is Treasure Chest!

With your host Roddy Lankman!

[Roddy] Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome back to Treasure Chest.

I'm Roddy Lankman,
and, boy, what a nice crowd we have today,

but let's welcome back
our reigning champion.

He's been here for three weeks.

He shows absolutely no signs
of slowing down.

He's a retired limousine driver
from Woodland Hills.

In his free time,

he likes hunting and fishing
in the Bluestone Valley.

Welcome back to the show Val Birch!

[cheers and applause]

What is the largest desert in Asia?

Is it "A," the Sahara, "B," the Negev,

-"C," the Gobi, "D"--
-[buzzer rings]

-"C," the Gobi.
-Correct for $1,000!

[Roddy] Thank you, Tanya.

The next question, for $1,500--

Which monarch is sometimes
known as "The Tragic Queen"?

Was it "A," Queen Elizabeth,
"B," Marie Antoinette,

"C," Catherine the Great--

-[buzzer rings]
-"B," Mary Ann Tonette.

Uh, that is correct. Marie Antoinette.

[man] Whoo!

-He mispronounced it.
-Shh.

[Roddy] Here's a $2,000 question,

and I see this one has a visual clue,

so, Tanya, if you could
bring up our visual.

-[chime sounds]
-[Roddy] Thank you very much.

Which founding father lived in this house?

Was it "A," George Washington,
"B," Thomas Jefferson, "C"--

-[buzzer rings]
-"B," Jefferson.

Jefferson is correct for $2,000.

Pitching another perfect game, Val Birch.

-Did you see that?
-What?

He didn't even look at the picture,
and he still got it right.

-How?
-[Roddy] Val Birch is still in the lead…

-Maybe they're signaling each other.
-…with a grand total of $234,000!

That's a lot of money, Val.
What do you plan to do with it?

I don't know. Let's just keep playing.

Marcia.

-Come see what the cat dragged in.
-[Marcia] Mwah.

-Adrian.
-Marcia.

Welcome home.

Thank you.

You okay?

Yes, I'm-- I'm just--

So many memories.

I know.

That's why we could never move.

Oh, honey, this is Kevin Dorfman.

-Oh! Hello.
-Hello. Kevin Dorfman.

I live above Adrian.

May I say what a lovely home

-you have here.
-[Marcia] Thank you.

[Kevin] Spanish style, isn't it?

-Yes.
-Yes, I thought so.

I grew up in a house just like this,

except the dining room

was over on this side,

and there was a hallway right here…

[voice fades]

[melancholic music playing]

-[Dwight] Our Trudy.
-[Marcia] Maybe.

-[laughs] Whoa!
-[Trudy] Hey!

Hi, Mom, Dad. This is Adrian.

Mr. and Mrs. Ellison.

It's Dwight and Marcia.

I feel like we're old friends,

the way Trudy talks about you.

She's been sending us articles
and newspaper stories.

You can believe about 40% of that stuff.

-Come in, come in.
-Come in, come in, come, come.

-You must be exhausted.
-[Marcia] Hi, darling.

-Nice to see you.
-So good to see you too.

Oh, that's okay.
We don't mind a little dirt.

Almost done.

Okay.

You have a beautiful home.

[Marcia] Oh, that's fascinating.

Well, come on in.

I'm sure you must all be exhausted.

Adrian, you remember
where the guest room is?

[sighs] Oh, yeah.

It's still how she left it.

Do you want to go in?

There might be something you want to keep.

I can't.

I know.

It took me two and a half years.

How did you do it, Marcia?

How did you survive?

I didn't think I would.

Um, I was buried alive.

Buried alive.

And then one day,

the sun came up.

My garden was blooming.

Kids were riding
by the house on their bikes,

and I decided to give
the world a second chance.

It's still a beautiful world, Adrian.

[Monk] You don't have to do that.

It's no problem.

I remember how you like
everything separated.

It's okay.

[Dwight] So, Kevin,

did I understand Adrian correctly?

You won the lottery a couple years ago?

Yes, I did. That is accurate.

And you're probably wondering

what happened to all the money.

That's a fair question. Here's a tip:

If you're ever lucky enough
to win the big jackpot,

you should probably not make
some of the mistakes I made.

For one thing, Vegas--
it's a good place to avoid.

Secondly, if you're ever going
to hire an accountant,

you might want to make sure
he's certified.

And most importantly,
never, under any circumstances,

marry Lisa Abromowitz.

[laughs]

I'll try to remember that.

Or her sister Shelly.

[Marcia] Is something wrong with the food?

Oh, no, Mom. It's perfect.

I'll, um, explain later.

Adrian, I'm producing
a new cop show in the fall.

We're looking for a consultant

to work with the writers, keep us honest.

The position is yours if you want it.

Wow.

Dwight, I don't know what to say.

-Why don't you say yes?
-Dad, that's really sweet,

but Adrian would never quit his job.

It's his life.

Oh, you guys should see him.
He is so brilliant.

-[Monk] Here we go.
-At a crime scene, the other policemen,

they just stand back and watch him work.

They watch me so they know what not to do.

-Oh, you are so modest!
-[Dwight laughs]

Besides, we love San Francisco.

I really can't see us ever leaving.

-It's so far away.
-Not the way Trudy drives.

-[laughter]
-So you won't be moving back.

[Dwight] Well, Adrian,

you take care of my little girl.

She's all we have.

Yes, sir. I will.

I'm so sorry.

About what?

Wait a minute. Hold the phone.

-I've got it.
-Got what?

How they're cheating on the show.

It's a code.

Roddy Lankman is blinking

when he asks the questions.

Like once for "A,"

two for "B."

That's what he does.

[Dwight] No, no, no, no.
I thought about that.

I've studied every frame from every show.

It's impossible.
He never blinks or gestures

or changes his voice,
at least that I could tell.

Well, you were there.
Did you notice anything?

No, no.

But when can I talk to this Mr. Lankman?

I've already asked him.

He won't talk to you or anybody.

These days, he hardly
ever leaves his trailer.

Poor guy's had a pretty tough year.

What happened?

Well, for one thing, he's broke.

He declared bankruptcy last January.

-Then there was the accident.
-[Dwight] Mm.

What accident?

Last month his personal assistant,
a girl named Lizzie Talvo,

was killed.

Her car went off the road
in Bluestone Valley.

Roddy took it pretty hard.

Bluestone Valley?

Val Birch…

goes fishing in Bluestone Valley.

They mentioned it on the show
when they introduced him.

Val Birch fishes…

where the girl was killed.

[suspenseful music playing]

He fishes where the girl was killed.

That's probably important.

Did you notice he said it twice?

-[Kevin] Are you okay?
-[Monk] I'm fine.

Why are you making that face?

We're in rugged terrain.
This is my rugged terrain face.

Okay.

Okay, she was-- She was traveling east.

Her car went off the road up there,

and ended up…

right here between these two rocks.

Haven't the police already been here?

Well, that's true,

but they weren't really
looking for anything.

This wasn't a criminal investigation.

[Kevin] What is it?

Something?

Something intended for Dwight Ellison.

[Kevin] An exercise tape.

Did you bring those baggies?

Oh, this is real evidence, isn't it?

Oh, goodness. I feel like a--

[gags]

What's the matter?

-Are you okay?
-I just swallowed a bug.

-You-- You what?
-I'm okay.

[Monk] Ugh. God.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Kevin] What is it?

[rattles]

It's Val Birch.

He was here.

[gags]

Kevin?

It's okay. I spit that one out.

[Monk] Oh, God.
Just-- Let's get out of here,

and just-- For God's sake,
cover your mouth.

[Kevin] Okay.

[Monk] It's just a videotape.

Thighs and Abs: 10 Minutes
a Day to a Perfect You.

Does it mean anything to you?

No, me neither.
We're at Val Birch's house now.

I want to have another word with him.

No, I'll be fine. Thanks.
I appreciate that, Dwight.

I don't think he's home.

[Monk] Hello, Mr. Birch?

Hello, it's Adrian Monk.

We spoke yesterday at the show.

-[knocks on door]
-Mr. Birch?

I'm here too. Kevin Dorfman.

I'm his upstairs neighbor.

It looks unlocked. What do you think?

Well, we can't go in

without a reason.

I'm kind of thirsty. Does that count?

No, Kevin.

Thirst is no excuse
for breaking and entering.

-Wouldn't it be cool if it was?
-Yes, that would be cool.

Here. Let me…

[Monk] What are you doing?

I'm leaning in.

Yeah, I went to law school
for three semesters.

You can lean anywhere you want.
It's in the Constitution.

I can't imagine
which constitution you're referring to.

You know what? Grab my pants.

-Pardon me?
-Grab my pants.

I need the counterweight.

Kevin, I really don't want
to grab your pants.

[sighs]

If I touch that floor, it's a felony.

[Kevin] Mr. Birch?

Hello?

Mr. Birch?

Hello?

Kevin, you see that pencil
on the chair? Can you reach that?

You got it?

I got it. Pull me.

Yes, I got it.

Do you still have the pencil

that Roddy Lankman gave you yesterday?

The collectible.

The collectible.

Kevin, do you have the pencil?

I have the pencil.

He was here.

Roddy Lankman was here…

But why?

Maybe they were trying
to figure out how to cheat.

-[Kevin] Mmm.
-Let's go.

[telephone rings]

[Val on recording]
Hi, this is your old pal Val.

Leave your message when you hear the beep.

[machine beeps]

[numbers beeping]

He's checking his messages.

[computer voice] You have
one saved message.

May 2nd, 7:39 p.m.

-[touch-tone beep]
-He's skipping that one.

You have one new message.
Today, 10:15 a.m.

[man on recording]
Mr. Birch, this is Tony Forrest

at Southland Mercedes.
I have some good news for you.

The new 640 you ordered
will be in tomorrow.

I got it here in three weeks
just like I promised.

Let me know when you want to pick it up.

[line clicks]

He ordered a new Mercedes-Benz

four weeks ago.

Before he went on the show.

That's what I call confidence.
He knew he was gonna win.

If we can figure out how they're cheating,

we can nail them both.

I have to get closer.

Closer?

Yesterday we were in the front row.

You can't get much closer than that.

[studio audience applause]

Please welcome to the show Adrian Monk.

[theme music playing]

[Roddy] Welcome to the show, Adrian.

Mr. E., you are not going to regret this.

Is there anybody
you'd like to say hello to?

-Yes.
-Okay, who would that be?

Sharona. She's in New Jersey
visiting her mother.

Oh, that's very nice.

How long have you
and Sharona been married?

No, no, no. Uh, Sharona is my nurse.

I was married, but my wife Trudy
was killed by a car bomb.

[audience murmuring]

Did he just say "car bomb"?

[Monk] Which is why I have devoted my life

to putting criminals behind bars,

even famous, powerful men

who think they're above the law.

Uh, I'm sure you do a great job too.

All right, who wants to…

[all] Dig for treasure?

All right, Tanya,
let's get this game started.

We're gonna start out
with a $1,000 question.

-Where--
-[buzzer rings]

Adrian.

I'm sorry.

Um, there was a smudge on my buzzer thing.

[chuckles] Well, I'm sorry,
but according to our rule book,

you'll have to answer the question.

Could you repeat the question, please?

Yes, but unfortunately,

only the part that you've already heard,

so… where?

Where?

[mysterious music playing]

[Monk whispers] Where?

Once more, please.

Where?

Where…

You have ten seconds.

Constantinople.

[laughs] Well, we're
a multiple choice show,

so all we need is "A," "B," "C," or "D."

-"D."
-"D"?

No, "B."

-[Roddy] "B."
-"B." "B." Definitely "B."

"B," and that's your final answer?

"A."

Uh, well, the correct answer
is "C," Macy's.

Moving on, let's go
to our $1,500 question.

[buzzer rings]

Oh, for the love of God.

I'm sorry. It's still a little grimy here.

Time is money for some of us.

Okay, I'll try.

[Roddy] All right, moving on
to the $1,500 question--

[buzzer rings repeatedly]

[buzzer continues]

[audience exclaiming]

[buzzer stops]

Okay.

I'm done.

[buzzer rings]

That's it.

What element do you add
to iron to make steel?

Is it "A," aluminum, "B," carbon,

-"C," lead, or--
-[buzzer rings]

"B," carbon.

Carbon is correct for $1,500.

They're still cheating.

But why would they do that
with Adrian out there?

They have no choice.

If Val loses today, he can't come back.

[Roddy] What Greek city
hosted the original Olympics?

-That's a good point.
-Was it "A," Athens,

"B," Rhodes,

"C," Olympia--

-[buzzer rings]
-"C," Olympia.

Correct again for $1,500.

[audience applauding]

He figured it out.

He knows how they're cheating.

One minute. We are back in one.

Figured it out?

Yes, sir. I know how they're cheating.

-Was I right about the blinking?
-No.

-Was I close?
-No.

But it is a code.

Lankman is holding the question cards

differently every time.

If he holds it by this corner,

it means the answer is "A."

This corner means "B,"
and this one's for "C."

What do we do now?

[Dwight] Aah.

I guess we call the police.

Hi, it's me. It's 7:15.

Call me when you get home.

I love you.

[suspenseful music playing]

Dwight…

Dwight.

When did Lizzie Talvo die?

-What was the date?
-May 2nd.

May 2nd. About what time?

Evening, while the show was on.

Around 7:39 p.m.?

-That sounds about right.
-Don't call the police.

Not yet. These men are guilty
of more than just cheating,

and I think I can prove it.

You're gonna prove it now?

If I don't do it now,
they might destroy the evidence.

Fifteen seconds! Places!

I gotta go. I gotta go.

Listen, isn't there a way

to make a phone call during the show?

You can phone a friend, but only
if you make it to the bonus round.

Oh, you're so far behind.
You'll never make it.

[man] Five seconds!

Four, three, two…

[theme music playing]

[audience applauding]

Welcome back to Treasure Chest.

My name is Roddy Lankman,

and our reigning champ Val Birch

is in the lead, again, with $3,000.

In second place, Susan with zero,

and, Adrian, you're at negative $1,000.

Well, Roddy, I think
my luck is about to change.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Let's do round two and dig for treasure.

For $4,000, the bone
that connects your knee

to your ankle is
the "A," fibula, "B," tibia--

-[buzzer rings]
-"B," tibia.

Uh, that is correct.

[Roddy chuckles] Next question.

How many square yards in an acre? Is--

-[buzzer rings]
-"C."

Uh, "C" is correct.
It's 4,840 square yards.

Lucky guess.

A lucky guess indeed.

For $5,000--

-[buzzer rings]
-[Monk] "D."

"D" is correct.

Another lucky guess. [chuckles]

For $5,500,

President McKinley was assassinated--

-[Monk] "D."
-[Val] "B."

"D." The answer is "D," Roddy.

"D" is correct, yes. Next question--

Who--

-[Monk] "B." "B." "B."
-[buzzer ringing]

[Roddy] "B" is correct.
It's Jackson Browne.

Susan, are you okay?

I-I just--

It looked so much easier
when I was watching at home.

Yes, it always looks easier at home.

-For $6,000--
-[buzzer rings]

-"C."
-No, "C" is not right.

-[buzzer sounds]
-"A."

"A" is correct. The wombat.

And for the last question,
for $6,000, what element--

-[buzzer rings]
-"D."

"D" is correct,

and that's the end of round two.

A couple of very intelligent
gentlemen here.

Uh, that means Adrian Monk
is the winner of round two.

Val Birch, you're gonna have
to sit this one out

this time.

Adrian, you understand
what happens in round two.

Answer these five questions correctly,
and you not only win this game,

but you win this great big pot of gold!

-[musical flourish]
-[audience applauding]

You know how we play our game.

You have five questions.
Let's see how you do.

Adrian, who was the first president

to win the Nobel Peace Prize?

Roddy, I understand I can phone a friend.

[scoffs] You want to phone a friend
on the first question?

Well, heh, you're the boss.

Tanya, let's bring him the phone.

For those joining us for the first time,

Adrian is going to call a friend
to see if he can get help

on this very important
bonus round question.

All right, who would you like to call?

Well, Roddy, I would like to call…

him.

Me?

[Val] You want to call me?

[Val chuckles]

-I don't think I'm at home.
-[laughter]

Well, Mr. Monk, what are you doing?

Do you know what he's doing?

Because I don't know what he's doing.

I'm trying to prove that you

are guilty of murder, Mr. Lankman,

or at the very least, manslaughter.

Lizzie Talvo, your personal assistant,

discovered that you were cheating

-on the show.
-[audience murmuring]

Uh…

can we go to a commercial?

You do and you're fired.

She died about a month ago in a car crash,

and this man
has been blackmailing you ever since,

and you have been paying him off

here on your show

by feeding him the answers.

I knew it. Do-over.

[Monk] Mr. Birch,
you were in Bluestone Valley

the night she died.

You must have seen the crash.

She was still alive
when you got to the car.

She had to have said something
to you before she died,

something about Mr. Lankman.

You must have realized
you just hit the jackpot.

[numbers beeping]

You called your own answering machine

and recorded her dying words.

You can't prove any of this.

[Monk] I was at your house yesterday,

and I happened to hear
the date and time stamp

of a phone message

that you had saved--

May 2nd, 7:39 p.m.

I think I can prove it, sir.

What's your number?

Adrian, it's 555-0137.

Thank you, Dwight.

[numbers beeping]

[telephone line rings]

[Val's on recording]
Hi, this is your old pal Val.

Leave your message when you hear the beep.

[beeps]

[Monk hums]

Four, eight…

two.

[computer voice]
You have one saved message.

May 2nd, 7:39 p.m.

[beeps]

[Lizzie over P.A.] It was Roddy.

It was Roddy Lankman.

He was cheating on the show.

I was going to blow the whistle.

He cut my brakes.

Roddy.

[phone beeps off]

[guard] Mr. Lankman, Mr. Birch,

some homicide detectives are outside.

They want to talk to you.

[audience murmuring]

[buzzer rings]

[Dwight] Adrian.

You were amazing.

[chuckles] Just like Trudy always said.

Thank you for this.

Thank you for Trudy.

[solemn music playing]

[Young Trudy's voice] Monday.
Dear diary, it is a terrible day.

Ginger died this morning.

I was too sad to go to school or even eat.

I cried all day.
I will never be happy again.

Friday.

Tomorrow I'm going to camp.
I have been packing all day.

It's gonna be so much fun. I can't wait.

I still think about Ginger sometimes,

but now I just remember the good times.

I guess Daddy was right--

God wants people to be happy.

Nobody can stay sad forever.

[theme music playing]