All language subtitles for Monk_S02E12_Mr. Monk and the TV Star.English (CC)

[suspenseful music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

What are you doing? I like it open.

Somebody might see me.

Well, I gotta get going.

Thank you so much for letting me stay.

You are the best ex-wife a guy ever had.

Speaking of which,
I believe I have some money coming.

Yeah, I know, Susan.

I don't wanna get
the lawyers involved again.

You're gonna see every nickel, I promise.

It's a lot of nickels, Brad.

Ten million dollars worth.

My business manager
will call you this afternoon, okay?

Thank you again.

[indistinct instructions on TV]

[indistinct chatter]

Susan.

Can you come here a sec?

[Susan] I'm busy. I already started.

[Brad] P-- please,
just come here for a second.

Man, how did they find you?

If they set foot on your property,

just call the police, okay?

-Okay.
-Thank you.

[indistinct chatter]

[Brad] Listen, guys--

Hey, Gina, how are you?

Listen, just leave
my ex-wife out of this, okay?

She had nothing to do with it.

I will answer a couple of questions

if you just leave her alone, please.

Brad, why did you beat up that bartender?

I didn't beat anybody up.
We had a misunderstanding.

[reporter] Were you drinking?

I was at a bar, Eric.
Yeah, I had a drink… or two.

And some peanuts.

L-- listen, I gotta get to work, but, uh,

just, please, stay off the property,

and-- and leave Susan alone.

-That would be great--
-[Susan screams]

[Susan] What are you doing?

Susan?

-[reporter] Brad, what is it?
-[Susan screams]

[tense music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

Somebody call the police!

She's been stabbed!

[indistinct chatter]

[tense music continues]

Does anybody know CPR
or-- or first aid or something?

Anything? Can anybody help me?

She's bleeding really, really bad.

Hello, this is-- this is Brad Terry.
I need an ambulance.

Yes, thank--

Twenty-two forty-five Hadley Lane.
My ex-wife. She's been--

She's been stabbed.
She's bleeding really bad!

I think she's dead!

Yes, I'll stay on the line.

["It's a Jungle Out There"
by Randy Newman playing]

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Disorder and confusion everywhere ♪

♪ No one seems to care ♪

♪ Well, I do ♪

♪ Hey, who's in charge here? ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Poison in the very air we breathe ♪

♪ Do you know
What's in the water that you drink? ♪

♪ Well, I do, and it's amazing ♪

♪ People think I'm crazy
'Cause I worry all the time ♪

♪ If you paid attention
You'd be worried too ♪

♪ You'd better pay attention
Or this world we love so much ♪

♪ Might just kill you ♪

♪ I could be wrong now ♪

♪ But I don't think so ♪

♪ 'Cause it's a jungle out there ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

[suspenseful music playing]

[female reporter] This is Brooke Burke
with breaking news from San Francisco.

It's been a terrible week for Brad Terry,

star of TV's hit series Crime Lab S.F.

Two days ago, Brad was arrested
for assaulting a bartender.

This morning, his ex-wife,
former actress Susan Malloy,

was slain while Brad
was standing right over there

talking to reporters,

-just 100 feet away…
-Adrian.

How do I look?

Sharona, this is a murder scene,
not a high school prom.

Yes, but it was Brad Terry's ex-wife.

Brad Terry could be in there. Wait, wait.

Do I have anything in my teeth?

Huh?

Oh, forget it, come on, come on!

This morning, paparazzi
gathered to get the scoop

on Brad and Susan,
and we were here live, covering…

Excuse me. Hey, hey!

Oh, excuse me, are you gonna go see Brad?

-Yeah.
-Oh, come here.

You-- you could do this for me.

-Sorry. No, no.
-[woman] No, no, no, I-- I mean--

This is, um, a petition
to get the old theme song back.

-They changed the theme song.
-Oh, my God, I hate that new theme song.

Me too. God, the show was perfect.

It was perfection, right?

It was. It was-- it was perfect.

Why can't they just leave shows alone?

-I don't know.
-But, um, tell Brad this is from Marci.

That is me-- "M" for Marci.

Marci. Okay.

Yeah, he-- he knows me, so…

-Okay, I'll tell him that. Okay.
-Come on.

Don't bend it.

Don't forget the upstairs.

-I want pictures of everything.
-[man] Yes, sir.

Dillon, grab a couple uniforms,
go door to door.

And do not send anything upstream
until I get a chance to read it.

Glad you're on the case, Captain.

I feel pretty silly doing what I do,

watching you do it for real.

Yeah, I've seen your show.

It's pretty good.

Really?

That's a big compliment
coming from you. Thanks.

Ooh, ooh, there he is.

There he is.

The greatest detective in San Francisco.

Okay, you understand
he's not a real detective.

It's what they call a show.

I'm gonna talk to him.

Mr. Terry? Hi.

I'm… really sorry about your loss.

I'm-- I'm Sharona Fleming.
I'm with Adrian Monk.

Uh, the consultant, right?

Yeah.

Is there anything I can do for you?

Nah, I-- I don't think
it's really hit me yet, eh--

Um, well, th-- this is for you.

Uh, somebody outside gave it to me. It's…

a petition about that new theme song.

[Brad] Oh, yeah, I know.
Everybody hates it.

Am I the only one who likes this?

Oh, no, no, no, I like it too.
I-- I can't get it out of my mind.

I-- it's a good song.

Marci, right? Marci Maven.

Yeah, she follows me everywhere. She's--

She's not right.

So, they were-- they were divorced?

-Huh, who was?
-Excuse me.

Brad Terry and the victim.

Oh. Yeah, right.

For, uh, three years.

But they were still friendly--

You know, show people.

He's been, uh, hiding out here
for the last couple of days.

Hiding from…

Paparazzi.

Slugged a bartender
on Friday night. It was big news.

Why is this thing still running?

-[TV blares loudly]
-Aah!

Sorry.

[loud blaring stops]

Sorry. Sorry.

She was working out.

Yeah, she's working out here,
killer opens the back door,

sneaks up behind her,
and stabs her three times--

neck, back, and chest.

The murder weapon's
nothing special either.

It's just a camping knife.

Here, look at this.

[Disher] Point of entry.

How, uh, how is he?

He's okay. I like him.

Like a regular guy, like me.

Or you.

Or me.

You think he could've had a motive?

Who?

Brad Terry?

Nah, I don't think so.

No kids, no alimony.
Besides, he can't be the guy.

He was out front when it went down.

Ten witnesses with cameras.

The killer broke the glass,
opened the door,

reached in, went out the same way.

There's-- there's glass in the track,

directly under the door.

Yeah, so?

I think the door was open
when the glass was broken.

Or the killer kicked
the glass around when he ran out.

This driveway curves
around the back of the house.

[Stottlemeyer] Hey, Brad.

Brad Terry, this is Adrian Monk.

This is the guy that,
uh, we're working with.

I'm sorry for your loss.

-Thank you.
-I understand you're an actor…

Oh. Oh, no, no, no,
don't be insulted by him.

He-- he's never heard of anybody, so…

No, he doesn't have to watch my show.

He lives it, right?

Well…

not really.

-Well, maybe.
-[chuckles]

Yes.

Yeah, I-- I-- I guess so.

I just have a couple of questions. Uh…

Is that your car parked
at the bottom of the driveway?

-Yeah.
-I was just wondering…

why you parked out front

if you didn't want anyone
to know where you were.

Wow, that's, uh, that's a good question.

Um…

Susan drove it last.
I guess she just forgot to pull it up.

Oh… makes sense to me.

Yeah.

[Disher] What do you think?

What can I get you two?

Uh, nothing for me.

Oh, just some water.

Are you Dustin Sheers?

Yeah.

We're working with the police
on the Brad Terry case.

What do I owe you?

-Don't worry about it.
-Thanks.

I understand Mr. Terry
was in here last week.

There was a fight.

My brush with fame.

Well, actually,
it was more than a brush, really.

What was the fight about?

[Dustin] Nothing.

I said I'd never seen his show,
and he flipped out.

He… jumps over the bar,
he starts going postal on me.

Excuse me. I'll have some of that scotch.

It's 20 bucks.

No. No, no, not the whole bottle.

-Just-- Just a glass.
-Yeah, 20 bucks.

The best in the house.

What are you doing? You don't drink.

[gasps] Oh… I get it.

You're gonna waste
20 bucks to make 'em even.

Great.

-[whispering] Oh, my God.
-You want this?

Sure.

[quirky music playing]

Was Mr. Terry intoxicated?

Had to be. How else do you explain that?

I'll have a glass of water, please.

You're not gonna sue him, are you?

I considered it.

But I figure,

after what happened with his ex-wife,

that guy's suffered enough.

I'll have another scotch.

[quirky music continues]

Don't mind if I do.

[Dustin] Besides,
he felt pretty bad about it.

Before the cops showed up,
he wrote me a check for two grand.

He wrote him a check.

-[Monk] That's the check?
-That's it.

I don't know
whether to cash it or frame it.

-[Sharona] What's wrong?
-The handwriting.

Looks okay to me.

It-- it's not just okay. It's perfect.

He stayed right on the line.

I don't think
he was drunk when he wrote this.

Why would a star
like Brad Terry pretend to be drunk?

Please.

[man] I'll have some more water, please.

Can you make it a double?

[woman] Oh, there's
the editing rooms over there.

And-- and that's the costume department.

Oh, are they allowed
to keep all the clothes?

Well, you know, they're not supposed to,

but, uh, sometimes they do.

Could-- could you
slow it down a little, please?

Uh, I don't think I can go any slower.

I'm surprised Brad Terry is working today

after what happened.

Oh, yeah, you know,
they just keep working, no matter what.

You know, they have
to do 26 episodes a year.

Brad wouldn't shut us down. He's great.

Oh, he-- he is great.

Yeah, he's great.
I can't seem to find my seatbelt.

-You don't need a seatbelt.
-I don't need a seatbelt.

Oh, over there's the dubbing stage.

That's where we do
all the sound work for the show.

Hey.

Is he anybody?

No, he's just a writer.

One-hundredth, wh-- 100th what?

We're shooting
our 100th episode this week.

Yes, it's a really big deal.

Why is that?

Because they can syndicate the show.
That's where they make the big money.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, well, here we are.

[sighs] We made it.

Yeah, it's, uh--
it's the big door on the left.

-Thank you so much. Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Bye.

[Monk] A camera, Sharona?

He's a murder suspect.

Brad Terry didn't kill anybody.

How do you know?
Because he plays a nice guy on TV?

Tony Danza never killed anybody.

Mister Rogers never killed anybody.

I'm not saying every actor is a murderer.

I'm saying this actor might be a murderer.

Do I have to agree with you on every case?

-Is that, like, a rule?
-No.

Well, you're wrong.

He didn't do it.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Brad] The door
was locked from the inside.

The hooker must've come in
through the fire escape.

Minute traces of blood over here.

Rusty. Over here.

[Brad] What do you got, J?

It looks like a fiber.

What planet are they supposed to be on?

Shh!

[Brad] J, don't touch it.

Lee, get the spectroscope.

[suspenseful music continues]

What the hell is that?

A spectroscope.

It's how they solve the crimes.

We should get one.

Why don't we get two?

Then we can solve them twice as fast.

-[electronic beeping]
-[Lee] It's a fiber, all right.

Some sort of strange synthetic polymer.

Lee, speak English, please.

It's not domestic.

It was made in Bolivia.

The Santorini cartel.

Santorini?

That-- that's in Greece.

What can I help you with, Mr. Monk?

Well, this is your 100th episode…

-is that right?
-Mmm.

Ah. Congratulations.

I understand that's a big day for you.

Thank you. Yeah, I've--
I've been working a long time for it.

My whole life, actually.

And how does that work?

I-- I know that you weren't paying
Susan alimony, but, uh,

when the show started,
you were still married.

-Right?
-Yes, I was.

Under California law…

she would've been entitled
to half of any syndication money.

You think you found a motive,
don't you, Mr. Monk?

Like me to take a lie detector test?
That make you happy?

Yes, it would.

Anytime. Anywhere.

Oh, excuse me. Um, do you mind?

Oh, no, no. Come on.

Okay, uh, press that button on the left.

-Thank you.
-Uh-huh.

I was at a bar, Eric.
Yeah, I had a drink… or two.

And some peanuts.

The local news
has been running this all day long.

[Susan screams on TV]

[Susan on TV] What are you doing?

Susan?

Now, I had the lab run
a voice print analysis.

That was definitely Susan.

We think the killer was a deranged fan.

Yeah, it makes sense to me.

Have you talked to the woman we met?
Marci Maven?

No, not yet.
We're still trying to track her down.

I asked around.

You realize…

that this show goes into syndication,

Brad Terry stands to make
over 20 million dollars.

There's your motive right there.

He did not wanna share it
with his ex-wife.

Gentlemen.

Max Green, the truth machine.

-What do you got?
-Well, according to this, he's clean.

-[Stottlemeyer whistles]
-He's Mr. Clean-- zero deception.

-You see?
-[sighs]

What more do you need?

Come on.

I think you enjoy being alone.

So, did we pass?

Yes, we did.

-With flying colors.
-[laughter]

I was up all night studying.

Mr. Monk, are you satisfied?

The machine is not infallible.

Well, neither are you.

I've been watching you, Mr. Monk.

That's what actors do. We soak people in.

I think I got you.
Uh, it's something like…

-I don't know what this thing is, but…
-[Stottlemeyer chuckles]

Tidiness… everything
has to be tidy, don't you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

The lamp thing, I don't know what--

That's-- that's nothing--

nothing like me, nothing at all, really.

-Come on.
-[Brad] Hey, there's a big

one-hundredth episode cast party tonight.

-You're coming.
-I'll be there.

Okay, good.

Sharona, you have to come,
because these parties get a little wild.

-I might need a nurse, you know?
-Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.

Uh, do you mind?

Don't wait up, Mr. Monk.

No, no, you go ahead.

I guess it's just you and me.

Yep. [scoffs] Brad Terry.

Oh, uh, what's your name again?

Randy. Randy.

Randy, you ever done any acting?

No.

'Cause you got a-- a great energy.

I think you might really pop.

-Pop?
-[Brad] Come to the party.

I want you to meet
the casting director, okay?

Okay.

[quirky music playing]

[dance music playing]

[man] Cast and crew, please put
your hands together for our stars.

Let's hear it for 100 shows.

[cheering and applause]

[Brad] Wow.

One hundred shows.

Uh, to be honest with you,
I didn't think we'd make it past ten.

[laughter]

Listen, I wanna thank everybody
for-- for your support this week, uh--

Susan's murder was, uh…

[softly] Sorry.

…was a terrible tragedy,

and I wanna… thank everybody
for-- for sticking by me this week.

I really appreciate it.
You guys were there for me.

I will never forget it.

We really are a family.

Except, unlike most families,
we actually like each other.

[laughter]

Listen, congratulations, everybody.

Let's get drunk.

[cheering and applause]

[dance music playing]

[soft quirky music playing]

On TV, you'll always see one cop

in one car, hot-rodding
after some suspect.

It doesn't happen like that.

Believe it or not,

we're out there trying
to serve and protect.

[dance music playing]

[Disher] It's a great party, huh?

You're in the picture. Move, move!

Oh, sorry, sorry.

You, uh, you wanna dance?

Uh, well, I'm not much of a dancer.

Oh.

[Brad] Hey, hey.

-There she is. Sharona, hi. Hi.
-Hi.

How are ya? Um, you wanna dance?

Oh, she's, uh, not much of a dancer.

Oh, that's okay. I-- I can teach her.

Come on, let's dance.

Wow, that was a good line.

[melancholic music playing]

[dance music playing]

Brad, hi, Brad, hey. Brad.

Hey, Marci, what--
what are you doing here?

I hid in the ladies' room upstairs.

Well, good to see you.

Brad, no, hey, Brad.
I have to tell you something.

It's really important.

[Brad] Yeah, maybe that--

-Yeah--
-Hey, Marci, how are you?

-We've been looking for you.
-Oh, no, I've gotta talk to Brad!

No, no, Marci, you have to talk to us.

[Stottlemeyer] Okay, Marci, come on.

[Disher] Keep dancing.

-Coming through. Excuse me.
-[Marci] Oh, no, I have to talk to Brad.

[Stottlemeyer] Come on.

[Monk] He's seducing them all,

one by one.

It's easy for him. He's an actor.

He lies for a living.

Yeah, but you could say
that he tells the truth for a living.

Mmm.

There was a cast party last night.

Everybody went.

Except you.

How did that make you feel?

Like I was back in the sixth grade.

There was this kid-- Robbie Walover.

[sighs]

He was a great athlete.

He was funny. Everybody liked him.

That year, he invited everyone
to his birthday party…

except me.

Here I am…

still in the sixth grade.

Robbie Walover--

did-- did he live over on Hillside Avenue?

Yes.

I knew him.

[scoffs]

My mother was friendly with his mother.

Were you…

at the party?

Yeah.

[scoffs]

Was it great?

Oh, Adrian-- [chuckles]
You don't wanna know.

No, no.

Okay, yes, okay, fine.
It was-- yes, it was, um--

it was pretty great.

Yeah. It was great. We--
we went to Candlestick Park.

I met Willie Mays.

-[Stottlemeyer] Where have you been?
-We had to parallel park.

What, for 20 minutes?

Parallel means parallel, right?
That's all I'm saying--

Whatever. Come on.
I want you to hear something.

What is it? You said it was big.

Monk, you're a great detective,

but nobody bats a thousand.

[suspenseful music playing]

Marci Maven, this is Adrian Monk.

He's working on the case with us.

Yeah, I remember you.

Now, Marci, I want you to tell him

exactly what you've been telling us.

I did it.

I killed Brad's ex, Susan Malloy.

I did the world a favor.

She was a terrible actress.

Who was?

Susan Malloy?
The bitch I killed? [chuckles]

She only made one movie.

What kind of actress only makes one movie?

Frat Party Massacre. Did you see it?

Uh, no.

I did, like, 20 times.

And how did you do it, Marci?

It was easy.

I snuck in the glass window in the back,

I hid, she came in.

She was, uh, doing an exercise tape.

She didn't even see me.

And I pulled out the knife,

and she started screaming,
and I started stabbing, and…

I stabbed her.

How many times?

Three or four.

Why did you do it, Marci?

[chuckles softly] I did it for Brad.

Hello. [chuckles]

I love him, you know? I--

That bitch broke his heart.

Won't be hurting him anymore.
[chuckling] Right?

[Monk] I don't know.

Sharona and I saw her
a half an hour after the murder.

There was no blood on her shirt.

She explained that.

She said she went
back to her car and changed.

-What happened to the bloody clothes?
-Monk, we have a confession.

A confession trumps a missing blouse.

Plus, the videotape puts Brad Terry
in the front yard during the attack.

And also, we have a confession.

And he passed the polygraph test.

And did I mention we have a confession?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, you win.

I'm convinced.

-He's innocent.
-Yes!

We have a verdict.

All right, as far as I'm concerned,

this case is closed.

Call the D.A., I wanna file this
first thing in the morning.

-[Disher] Yes, sir.
-And Monk…

[grunts, laughs] Thank you. Thank you.

Now I can take that job.

I'm gonna be
a police consultant on the show.

-No way.
-A thousand dollars for half a day's work.

I couldn't have taken the gig

-until you… agreed the guy was innocent.
-I appreciate that.

And, uh, I can take
the part they offered me.

I got a line on the next episode.

[Sharona] Oh, my God.

-Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
-[laughter]

I can bring Benjy to the set!

This is great.

-Oh, $1,000 for a half a day's work?
-Yes!

Hey, you guys can come
to my trailer if you want.

-Okay. [laughs]
-Thanks.

-Wait, you could consult me too.
-Okay.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, Monk…

thanks.

Hey--

Yeah.

I think I'm finally getting
the hang of sixth grade.

[quirky music playing]

It's all one motion.

Cuffs are out, right hand down,

cuffs are on--

Like you're dancing.

Screw the backup, I'm going--

Screw the backup, I'm going in.

Screw the back-- I'm going--

Do I sound like a real cop?

You'll never sound like a real cop.

Don't be afraid to push him around.

He's a bad guy. You know.

Yeah.

[whispering] Screw the backup…

Ooh.

So, Mom, are we really
gonna see Brad Terry?

Yeah.

Where is he?

He's in his trailer with Mr. Monk.

[sighs]

What can I say? I'm really sorry.

You can stop apologizing, Mr. Monk.

You were just doing your job.

No. No, no, no.

I-- I wasn't thinking straight.

You reminded me of this kid

I knew in sixth grade.

Ugh, it's complicated.

We all have our demons, right?

So the case is officially closed?

-Marci confessed?
-That's right.

See, I always knew she was unstable.

-She, uh--
-[knock on door]

Come in. She's been
harassing me for years.

-Hi.
-[Brad] Hey, Laurie, how are you?

I got your water.

Thanks.

Sierra Springs.

I-- I drink that too.

Yeah? Here.

We get 'em for free
'cause I drink it on the show.

Gotta love them perks.

I love them perks.

Uh, Brad…

uh, did you get
a chance to read my script?

Yes.

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
I was gonna call you. It was great.

Really? You liked it?

Yeah, it was
the best script I've read all year.

I-- I loved the-- the crazy uncle

and the, um… road trip.
That's excellent, yeah.

-That actually happened.
-Really?

-Yeah.
-If you don't mind,

and feel free to say no,

I was gonna pass it on to my agent,
see what he thinks.

Sure, yeah. Th--
My God, that would be awesome.

-Thank you so much.
-[Brad] Mm-hmm.

-[through radio] First team on set.
-Oh.

Uh, break's over. We need you on set.

Okay.

Well, I'm gonna go solve
a couple of homicides.

-You wanna watch?
-Sure.

Okay, everybody, places!

And… rain!

[man] Background action.

And… action!

Where you going to, Frankie, huh?

You going to church?

Cocaine?

[spits]

It's pure.

And cut!

-[man] Save the rain!
-Okay, let's go again.

[Laurie] Okay, quickly, quickly, reset!

That's good-- I need two more guys
coming in here quick.

[man] Okay, we're doing it again!
Everybody back to one!

They're doing it again?

Yeah, they do
the same scene over and over,

then later on,
they put all the pieces together.

It's called editing.

Listen to Mr. Hollywood.

And… action!

Where you going to, Frankie, huh?

You going to church?

[actor] Cocaine?

[spits]

It's pure.

[director] Cut! Cut!

He used a different finger.
It won't cut together.

Oh, you're right.

Uh, Brad, Brad,

listen, make sure
you use your right pinky, okay?

Yeah. Sorry.

No problem. [chuckles softly]

Excuse me, I noticed something else.

The second time,

the lights on the van were off.

Oh, he's right. I missed that one.

Carl, your lights?

And, uh…

this-- this--
this gentleman in the brown shirt

by the pizza place-- he, uh…

The first time, both his socks
were pulled all the way up,

but the second time, one was down.

And, uh, you, sir--

sir, your, uh, your umbrella handle

was turned, uh, this way.

And-- and you,
sir, you, uh-- your coffee--

you were holding your coffee cup
with your pinky extended there.

Not-- not-- not that much.

Not that much. And her sweater--

her sweater was buttoned up,
you know, all the way.

And, uh, she looked at her watch

like this the first time.

And his-- he scratched his elbow,

and, uh, her straw was bent a little more.

-Thank you, Mr. Monk, you're a--
-Her zipper was--

on her bag-- was all the way up.

-You're very observant.
-I don't think there's anything

you can do about the bird,
but on the first take…

-It's okay.
-…there was a bird flying over.

-It doesn't have to be perfect, Mr. Monk.
-You wait a while,

-it'll come around.
-Could we take a break?

Let's take a break.

[man] Okay, break! Everybody back in ten.

[quirky music playing]

[Stottlemeyer] Sorry.
He's kind of a perfectionist.

-[Brad] Hey.
-Hey.

-[Laurie] Hi.
-Hey, Laurie.

Did you, uh…

Captain, do you think they--

I think they need to shove
the criminal harder.

-Don't you?
-Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, yep, yep, that was lame.

-I got you covered.
-Thank you.

-[Disher] I'm gonna meet my co-stars.
-[Stottlemeyer] Hey, guys.

Have you read Laurie's script?

No. Is it any good?

It is the worst script I've ever read.

I figured.

-Sharona…
-What?

Brad.

He lied to that girl about her script.

I was there.

So what? He was being polite.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

He was wearing one
of those pulse monitors.

His heartbeat didn't change,
not a fraction.

He's a sociopath.

That's how he beat the polygraph test.

He did it.

He's the guy.

-He can't be the guy.
-He's the guy.

He's the guy.

[sighs]

[suspenseful music playing]

How do you feel, Marci?

How do I feel…

Uh, that's funny, because
I've talked to five psychiatrists

and-- and three psychologists

and one therapist, and, uh,

they all wanted to know the same thing.

"How you feeling, Marci?"

-"How you feeling, Marci?"
-I--

I heard that you got
into some trouble last night.

I smashed the TV in the rec room.

What was I supposed to do?

Crime Lab S.F. was on,

with that-- that new
theme song that I hate.

-Well, why do they need a new theme song?
-Marci…

I know you didn't kill Susan Malloy.

-Uh, no-- sure I did.
-No.

You couldn't kill anyone.

Why did you confess?

There's only one reason
why you would… confess.

'Cause you know Brad Terry is guilty.

You love him.

You're protecting him.

But how… do you know he's guilty?

That's the question.

How do you know…

he killed his ex-wife?

Hmm?

[suspenseful music continues]

Hmm?

Marci. Marci.

What really happened here?

They went outside together for a minute.

She comes back in alone.

You be Susan.

Great, so I'm the victim again?

[sighs]

I think you enjoy
stabbing and shooting me.

No, I don't enjoy it, but it's my job.

Okay, so she comes
back in to start her workout,

and… you put in
your favorite exercise video.

[loud rock music playing]

-Oh!
-Ahh!

[music stops]

I'm sorry. It was turned all the way up.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, wait a minute.

It was turned all the way up
the day she was killed too.

Well, what does that mean?

I don't know.

[suspenseful music continues]

Let me see that yoga tape.

It-- it's not here.

It's right there.
I saw Disher take it out.

It's not here.

What, did somebody steal it?

I mean, who would steal a workout tape?

It's not here.

What?

[suspenseful music continues]

I know what happened here.

You're not gonna like it.

Just-- just hear me out.

Just keep an open mind.

He did it, didn't he?

There's a reason the coroner
couldn't find a bullet in her body.

There was no bullet to find.

At least no ordinary bullet.

You killed the hooker with a bullet
made from your own frozen blood.

Isn't that right, Senator?

Here's what happened.

All you needed was an ounce of your blood.

You poured it into a .38-caliber mold,

then froze it. The rest was easy.

You left the fundraiser at seven o'clock…

-you shot the hooker…
-[whimpers]

[screams]

…then you waited
for the blood bullet to dissolve.

Well, you can't prove any of this.

[Brad on TV] Oh, I think we can.

I think it's fine.
I think the gunshot could be louder.

I can do louder.

[video ends]

This is my favorite part--

where everybody stands around

and you sum up the case.

Yeah, me too. Thanks.

I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking to Mr. Monk.

Why don't you, uh, take a break?

Brad Terry, you're under arrest
for the murder of your ex-wife.

[Brad] You can't be serious.

I was out on the front lawn
the whole time. Everybody saw me.

You made sure everybody saw you

by pretending to be drunk

and staging that fight a few days earlier.

After an incident like that,

you knew the press
would follow you anywhere.

That was the whole idea.
You needed witnesses.

I was at a bar, Eric.
Yeah, I had a drink… or two.

And some peanuts.

Listen, stay off the property, please,

and leave Susan out of it…

Okay, freeze it right there.

That proves it.
I was outside when she screamed.

Oh, yeah, she screamed,
but that scream was 15 years old.

You recognize this?

This is the first movie
your wife ever made.

Took us forever to track it down.

The movie's been out of print for years.

[screams]

[Susan] What are you doing?

[Susan screams on TV]

[Susan] What are you doing?

-[reporter] Brad! What is it?
-Susan?

Marci Maven recognized the scream

'cause she's seen the movie 100 times.

As Special Agent Rusty Clark would say,

"Here's what happened."

Last week you came in here

-alone after hours.
-[Susan screams on TV]

What are you doing? No!

[screams]

It was easy to transfer Susan's scream

from the slasher film
onto the exercise video.

[Susan screams on TV]

[Susan] What are you doing?

[blender whirring]

The morning of the murder,

you smashed some glass on the rear door

to make it look like somebody broke in.

You hid a knife near the front door

where you could grab it quickly.

Then you replaced her exercise video

with the one you doctored,
and the stage was set.

As you planned, the press was out front,

and you made sure they saw Susan alive

as you left the house.

You recorded the audio low intentionally,

because you needed her
to turn the volume all the way up.

[indistinct voice on TV]

Right foot…

[Brad] Listen, guys--

[woman on TV] …the right, arms down.

[indistinct chatter]

[Susan screams on TV]

[Susan on TV] What are you doing?

-Susan?
-[Sharona] The press thought

you were going in to help her,
but you were going in to kill her.

[Monk] You only had a few seconds.

That was all you needed.

[Susan groans]

[suspenseful music playing]

Somebody call the police!

She's been stabbed!

Good work, Mr. Monk.

And he did it without a spectroscope.

[Disher] Could you stand up,
please, Mr. Terry?

You're under arrest.

It's one easy motion--

cuffs come out, right arm down,

slap 'em on.

You're going down, clown.

It's just like you're dancing.

-How was that?
-That was perfect.

Now don't be afraid to rough him up.

That's a bad guy.

[quirky music playing]

Come on.

[knocking]

[knocking continues]

[knocking continues]

Hey! [chuckles]

Marci.

W-- what are you doing here?

I just came by to thank you.

God, that was so crazy of me

to confess to murder.

-Oh.
-[chuckles]

What, uh-- what-- what time is it?

-Oh, uh, midnight.
-Midnight.

Well, I-- I'd invite you in, but, uh…

I make you uncomfortable, don't I?

-Aw-- [chuckles softly]
-Oh.

That's okay.

No, listen, I'm--
I'm sorry about Brad, and, um…

Oh, I don't even like Brad anymore.

Ugh.

I'm never seeing his show again, no way.

Which is easy to say anyway,
'cause, you know, they canceled it.

Well, okay, good for you.
I'm-- I'm happy for you.

-And, uh--
-[chuckles]

You know, they told me
how you solved the case

and everything, Adrian,
and I just think you're wonderful.

Nah, not-- not really.

Yeah, really.

I started a whole website
about you, and a newsletter.

Oh, God. Don't-- don't do that.

Oh, you are the greatest
detective in the world.

You're the--

you are the greatest
detective in the universe.

[chuckles]

You should have your own show.

-No, no, I-- I--
-You should.

You have to promise me something.

Will you promise me something?

If you ever do get your own show…

you have to promise me

that you will never change the theme song.

Okay?

Um, I promise.

You promise. [chuckling] Good.

You promise.

-I promise.
-You promise?

-Yeah.
-[chuckles]

[theme music playing]