All language subtitles for Monk_S01E11_Mr. Monk and the Earthquake.English (CC)

[mellow rock music]

Ah, you're awake.

Not quite.

Do you have your, um, art class today?

Mm-hmm.

Life in the fast lane.

What?

I'm just adoring you.

Isn't a husband allowed
to stop and adore his wife?

How did I get to be so lucky?

We both got lucky, Henry.

[turns music down]

-I was listening to that.
-I'm just turning it down.

You don't mind.

I have to go to the office
for a couple of hours.

Of course.

Oh, and, uh, don't forget
we're having dinner with Father Hatcher.

Again?

[music blares]

[low rumble]

[screams]

Honey, not there.

Over here.

[screams]

[glass shatters]

[screams]

[panting]

I thought that could have been
the big one.

Why don't you turn on the news,
see how bad it was.

I'll check the house.

[intriguing music playing]

Look, there's a crack over here.

Do you see it?

It runs all the way across,

here and it's gonna--

Christine-- No! No!

[panting]

[groans]

Well, Henry, hmm.

It was the big one.

[theme song playing]

Oh, thank God!

Thank God!

No, no, no, stay at Kenny's, Benjy.
Stay there!

I just gotta check out Mr. Monk!

Adrian!

[pounding on door]

Ad--

[siren wailing]

-You okay?
-Mm-hmm.

I've been trying to call you
for over an hour.

-Your phone is dead.
-[muffled talking]

Are you sure you're okay?

Oh, my God.

[muffled talking]

What, Benjy?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's okay.

He was at school when it happened,
and he loved it.

He thought it was
like a roller coaster. I--

[Sharona sighs]

Adrian, I have to tell you,
I'm very impressed.

I mean, I thought
you'd be a basket case.

Everything's broken.

Where were you when it happened?

[speaking gibberish]

What?

[speaking gibberish]

[speaking gibberish]

Are you okay?

[speaking gibberish]

Adrian,

you're not speaking English.
You know that, right?

[speaking gibberish]

Yeah, yeah, Sharona, relax.

He's having a dissociative episode.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
Dissociative?

Yeah, the trauma of the earthquake
probably shorted out

the occipital lobe
in the left hemisphere of his brain,

which controls the ability
to speak and to form words.

Well, what should I do?

Well, he thinks he's speaking normally.
He's more confused than you are.

[speaking gibberish]

Okay, well, now, I can see him, uh,

tomorrow at 4:00 if you like.
But I gotta tell you,

I wouldn't be surprised
if he's fine by then.

You know, these things
usually pass on their own.

The most important thing--

Just don't leave him alone.

-Okay.
-[speaking gibberish]

Wait. Will you wait?
Okay, hold on. Hold on.

He wants to speak to you.

[speaking gibberish]

You're talking gibberish.

Adrian, I can't understand
a word you're saying.

[speaking gibberish]

Right. Good.

Okay, so put Sharona
on the phone, okay?

[woman] …the well-known philanthropist

Henry Rutherford,

who's best known
for his Rutherford scholarships,

which enabled hundreds
of inner-city children

from across the country--

Oh, my God.

[speaking gibberish]

Okay.

Henry Rutherford.

I told you about him.

I've been working with him
the whole month.

He was a deacon at my church.

He was trying to make money
for the new church.

Oh, my God, I know his wife.
She's gonna be devastated.

[sighs]

I gotta go.

[speaking gibberish]

They live two blocks away.

She just moved here.
She doesn't know anybody.

I'm gonna see if they need my help, okay?
Just stay here.

[speaking gibberish]

You know what, on second thought
you better come with me.

-Come on. Come on.
-[speaking gibberish]

Dr. Kroger, we'll call you back.

Uh, fine.

[Christine] He had a brother in London.

They weren't close,
but somebody should call him.

Don't worry, Christine.
I'll take care of it.

Thank you, Father.

I don't know what I'd do
without you and Sharona.

It was terrible.

The whole room started to shake.

And Henry made sure
I was safe in the doorway.

[Father] Now you mustn't torture yourself.

The wall unit
started to come tipping over,

and Henry was trying
to keep it from falling.

And I saw it come crashing down.

I called for help,
but there was nobody else in the house.

Okay, here you go.

Oh, I couldn't.

No, Christine,
you have to have something.

She's right, Christine.
You must stay strong.

You know,

I could stay here tonight.

Thank you, it's very sweet.
But I called my mother in Chicago.

She'll be here later tonight.

Oh, that's good.

Mothers are great to talk to.

Well, you know, except for mine.

[speaking gibberish]

Oh, um,
this is my boss, Adrian Monk.

[speaking gibberish]

Um, Adrian,

why don't you wait in the other room?

Adrian, go in the other room.

Uh, where is he from?

Neptune.

[Father] Know that everybody
from the church

is here for you in your time of need.

[light music playing]

[speaking gibberish]

[speaking gibberish]

Oh, she'll be all right. It's--

-What are you doing?
-[speaking gibberish]

Sha-shid-lig--
Not right about this room.

Adrian, you can talk.

Of course I can talk.
What is wrong with you?

Nothing is wrong with me.

[overlapping talking]

[Stottlemeyer] There is no third watch.

I want everybody on active duty to report
to their watch commanders, got it?

-You follow me?
-Yes, Christine Rutherford

-sat around waiting for an earthquake?
-No, no, she sat around waiting

for her rich, old husband to die.

And when the earthquake hit,
you see--

Capt-- When the earthquake hit,
she realized it was her chance,

a one in a million shot,
and she took it.

Captain, we have reports
of some looting in Potrero Hill.

All right, get ten uniforms down there.

I want a man on every corner.
Go, go, go.

There was ceiling debris
all over the floor,

but none on the back
of a fallen display case.

-Mm-hmm.
-And there were marks on the wall,

like somebody used a lever
to knock that case over.

-Really?
-Captain, captain, Cargill.

-Yeah?
-Those calls are false alarms.

I don't care if they're all false alarms.
You've gotta check 'em out, everyone.

Yes, sir.

Look, Monk, there was an earthquake.

That's what earthquakes do--
They knock crap over.

Yes, but there were other pictures
on the same wall, and none of them--

None of them were even crooked.

I'm trying to put out
a hundred fires here.

I realize that.

Where's the guy
from emergency services?

Look out. Look out.

Somebody will be
with you soon enough.

Please, everybody calm down.

-She could be there--
-Okay?

She could be there right now
cleaning up all the evidence.

At least send a couple of detectives
over there to look around.

I haven't got a detective.
I haven't got a moment to spare.

Monk, the shaking you felt this morning
was a 6.0 earthquake.

But at least send me over to check it out.

-Where's Sharona?
-She went to pick up her kid.

All right, hey, lieutenant.

I'm officially handing Monk off to you.
I want you to give him anything he needs.

And quit screwing around
and get back to work.

[siren blares]

Sorry, the street's closed.

What's going on?

The gas line's ruptured,
and all the phone lines are down.

These two blocks
were the worst ones hit.

Oh, God.

But we just live right over there.

Not today you don't.

Call emergency services.

Here's their number.

How long is this gonna be?

Well, maybe a couple of days.

-A couple of days?
-Maybe three.

Just call that number, ma'am.
I just work here.

Officer, I'm with the Melbourne Gazette.
Can I get in there and get a couple shots?

I'm sorry, no one can get through.

Look, can we just go in
and get some stuff?

I mean, what if he needs
some medicine or something?

Ma'am, you have to call
that number, okay?

That's all I know.

Now please, step back.

Now there's a delightful chap.

He reminds me of my ex-wife.

Yeah, he reminds me of my ex-husband.
Maybe we should get 'em together.

Mom, what are we gonna do?

I don't know. I don't know.

I guess we're gonna
have to find a hotel.

Good luck.

I've been calling all morning.

There's nary a room left
in the whole city.

Nary a room?

That's what I said.

Well, we can always stay at Aunt Gail's.

Why can't we stay at Mr. Monk's?

Because I will go crazy slower
at Aunt Gail's.

You think your aunt Gail has an extra room
for an out-of-town journalist?

I'm Darryl Wright.

Oh, I'm Sharona.

Yeah, I'm sorry, my sister has no room.

This your boyfriend?

No, this is my son Benjy.

You thought I was her boyfriend?

He's joking.

Listen, my editor just called.

He wants me to do a story on the quake.

What do you say I interview
you and Benjy here,

get a local color?

Oh, yeah, we'd love to.

Great. Start with a picture?

Okay.

[Darryl] Do you believe
in love at first sight?

[soft piano music playing]

Personally,

I never did.

And then you got a look
at my husband's bank account.

And zing went the strings of my heart.

[chuckles]

[intriguing music playing]

There we were, just waiting
for the right opportunity,

and God dropped it right in our laps.

The bloody miracle.

$42.5 million.

Say it again.

$42.5 million.

Oh, I love it when you talk dirty.

[chuckles]

Just one more loose end to tie up,
and it's all ours.

Sharona.

Sharona.

She's pretty.

Didn't notice.

Are you sure she trusts you?

[chuckling] Oh, come on.

Why wouldn't she trust me?

[doorbell rings]

-Sharona.
-Hey, butterbean. Hi.

Gail, I am so sorry.
I didn't know who else to call.

Hey, no problem. That's what I'm here for.
It's gonna be fun.

I just talked to mom.
She's freaking out.

She heard some guy on CNN
talking about aftershocks.

I could not get her off the phone.

-You should get caller I.D.
-I have caller I.D.

I had it before you.

No, you didn't.

I told you about caller I. D.

What?

I had caller I.D.
When I lived in Valencia.

Remember, you came over
and I showed you how it worked?

I had caller I.D. when I was
living with Lenny in Seattle.

-You never told me that.
-I know. I was avoiding your calls.

I had caller I.D.

Mom, Aunt Gail,

can we go inside, please?

Gail, remember
when I went out to visit mom

when she broke her wrist?

Yeah.

And remember you said
that you owe me big time?

-Remember?
-Mm-hmm.

[playful music playing]

[Gail] Oh, no.

I swear, I swear,

he's gonna be good.
Come on! Come on.

He's not as bad as he was.

He's so freaked out about this earthquake,
and I can't leave him alone.

I guess he can sleep on the couch.

Well, actually, he's gonna
need the guest room.

He doesn't sleep on couches.

-Right.
-Gail, I spent two weeks with mom.

Now we're even.

It's gonna be okay, Adrian, yeah.

-Hi, Gail.
-Hi.

Listen, don't worry about Sharona.
She won't get in the way.

Even.

-Yes, thank you, I'll hold.
-[Sharona] I like those earrings.

You ought to, you gave 'em to me.

Oh, I forgot.

[sighs] So, um,
are you still seeing that actor?

Hal Meyers?

Yeah, in my nightmares.
Even in my nightmares he can't act.

I liked him.

Maybe I'm getting
too picky in my old age.

How 'bout you,
are you in love with anybody?

Actually, I met somebody this morning.
He's a journalist.

-Really?
-Yeah, from Australia.

Complete with accent?

Oh, yeah. The full package.

He's to die for.

Oh, bring him by.
I'd love to meet him.

I'm sure you would.

1,238.

What is he doing?

He's counting the bricks in the wall.

Oh, good.
I've always been curious about that.

1,243. 1,244.

Adrian.

-Don't tie up Gail's line.
-I'm on hold.

Waiting for Disher.

1,200--

Ugh, crap.

One, two,

three, four.

Is that new?

I got it a couple weeks ago.
My other one was way too big.

Check it out.

When did you get that?

Two months ago.
Like you didn't know.

What, you think I'd buy

the same handbag on purpose?

Now why would I do that?

What, you think I wanna be like you?

Like I'm obsessed with you?

Who moved to San Francisco first?

Oh, my God!

You begged me to move up here!

Hey, do I have to separate you two?

Yeah. Lieutenant, yes, I'm here.

I'm still here.

Yes, I need her phone records.

Every call from that house

and her cell phone
for the last two weeks.

Right.

Right.

And what about
the background check?

Really?

Really?

[phone ringing]

-[Gail] Hello?
-Sharona.

No, this is her younger sister, Gail.

Really?

Hmm.

You two sound so much alike.

Do you look alike?

No, I'm the sexy one.

-Really?
-Mm-hmm.

Hey, are you the Australian guy
she met on the street?

That would be me.
Unless she met somebody else.

What are you eating?

Rice cakes.

God, I hate this diet.

Being the sexy sister's hard yacker.

It's a full-time job.

Listen, is Sharona there?

You just missed her.

She and her boss had some
business at St. Clare's Church.

St. Clare's?

Yeah, the one on Fulton Street.

[worker] Yeah, that's good, guys.

That's quite a performance.

Look, you don't know her.

She and her husband
practically saved this church.

They're like saints.

Your saint didn't pay for a candle.

Mrs. Rutherford.

Mr. Monk, Sharona,

would you light a candle
for my husband?

I'd love to.

Which husband?

I understand that Henry was your third.

Excuse me.

Mrs. Rutherford, in 1997

you and your second husband
were indicted for mail fraud in Nevada.

An indictment's not a conviction,
Mr. Monk.

A stirring defense,
but Henry didn't know

-about your other marriages, did he?
-Of course he did.

I saw the photographs
in your house, ma'am.

Watch your step, ma'am.

You were married
at the Sacred Cross Chapel

in Chicago.

Henry was a deacon there,
and even if he wanted to,

he couldn't have knowingly
married a divorcee.

Okay. You have me.

I kept a secret from my husband.

Oh.

I beg your pardon.

Sharona.

What are you doing here?

I called the number you gave me.

Your sister told me where you were,

and I was a couple blocks away,
so as you do.

Well, it's great to see you, yeah.

And you too.

Oh, I'm sorry. Um…

Darryl Wright,
this is my boss, Adrian Monk.

How do you do?

Darryl is a journalist from Australia.

He's doing a story
about the earthquake.

Speaking of the earthquake,
are you back in your apartment yet?

No, not yet.
They said maybe Monday.

Monday?

-Mm-hmm.
-Right.

So, um, who was the--
Who was the widow?

Christine Rutherford.

Why does that name ring a bell?

Her husband was worth about $40 million.

And I think she killed him.

Excuse me.

Oh, it--

He's a former detective,

and, you know, he gets
a little paranoid, so…

[both chuckle]

It sounds like
a much more interesting story

-than this earthquake I'm doing.
-Yeah, it is.

You can tell me
all about it over dinner.

We're having dinner?

Your sister invited me.

Gail?

Yeah, is there a problem?

Oh, no, no.
It's-- That's great.

It's fine, yeah.

[Darryl] Four months in the outback…

110 degrees in the shade
if you could find it,

-sleeping on the ground.
-That must've been tough.

What would you eat though?

Well, we ate grubs, bugs, snakes.

Danger, danger, danger.

Anyway, I finally got back.

Got my messages.
It's my editor.

He's telling me he's changed his mind.

He doesn't want me to go.

You know,
Darryl was nominated for a Pulitzer.

Really?

It was a story I wrote a while back
for the Sydney Morning Herald.

-[Gail] Do you have a copy of it?
-No. Not on me.

What was it about?

It was about a bridge collapsing.
Five people died.

-Oh, my God.
-Yeah, five people from all walks of life.

There was a wealthy old woman,
an orphan, a maid.

I wrote about each of them,

who they were, how they touched
the different people in their lives.

Oh, I'd love to read it.

You gotta send me a copy.
You can't forget.

-I won't.
-[Benjy] This is fun.

I wish there was
an earthquake every week.

Don't say that, sugarbeat.

The earthquake killed three people.

No, it didn't.

Not according to Mr. Monk.

He thinks one of them was a murder.

Yes, I've been meaning
to ask you about that.

How's the investigation going?

Well, so far just a hunch.

Hey, can we play a game after?

-Song.
-It's a song!

Uh, stop.

-Stop.
-Stop.

[Darryl] Stop what you're--

[Gail] Breast stop.

Stop in the Name of Love.

Oh!

How did you know that?
I want you on my team.

I'm gonna sit over here.

Excuse me, uh,

where does this go?

-Above the sink with all the others.
-Well, this one--

All the others are square.
Should I just throw it away?

No, just put it down.
I'll take care of it later.

Adrian, why don't you join us?

Yeah, come on,
we're playing charades.

Yeah, it'll be fun.

-It's a game?
-That's right.

It's a game.

Benjy, it's my turn. You take it.

Off you go.

A fast game's a good game.

Um…

-It's a movie!
-Spiderman.

He's right.

Oh, he's seen--

He's seen the movie 20 times,

and he was reading the comic book,
so I figured--

He's 11-years-old.
Let him have fun.

Okay, I got one.
[clears throat]

[Sharona] It's a movie.

Six words.

The Man Who Came to Dinner.

How did you know that?

It's a movie about a houseguest
who wouldn't leave.

Six words. You were looking at me.

Okay, Darryl,
why don't you go next?

All right. I got one.

Okay, now instead
of playing charades,

we're playing "Let's stump Monk."

Yeah, stump Monk.

-A bible?
-Book.

The Bridge of San Luis Rey.

[Gail] Is he right?

[Sharona] Of course he's right.

You know, why don't we watch TV?

-You said I'm not allowed to watch TV.
-I changed my mind.

-Turn it on.
-Uh…

[reporter] A necessary adjunct
to the recording of all--

[Sharona] How'd you know the name
of the book?

The little story he told at dinner
about the bridge collapsing,

it was a novel from the '20s called
The Bridge of San Luis Rey.

Don't do this.

Every time I like somebody, you ruin it.

[man] …in the airless
atmosphere of outer space.

And the nation first to conquer space

controls the world,

leaving only the most valuable
of all secret scientific achievements.

Space-conquering giants
that man can control.

Um, I wasn't sure how you took it.

-Light and sweet.
-Thanks.

-[cell phone rings]
-Oh, excuse me.

Hello.

-I thought you were going to call me.
-Yeah, I know.

It's my editor.

Oh.

Did you get into her place yet?

I'm working on it.

I am aware of the deadline,
and I know it's important.

You said you'd have it by tonight.

Listen, the sooner I'm off this phone,
the quicker I can get back to work.

Correct. Bye-bye.

You are an angel.

Thank you.

And there's no way he could have been
nominated for a Pulitzer.

Maybe he's a good writer.

It's not that.

The Pulitzer is only
for American Journalism.

He said that story
was published in Australia.

So what?

Maybe he's trying to impress me.

Maybe he likes me.

[sighs] God, you're scaring him away.

Gail's trying to seduce him.
And I'm stuck in the middle as usual.

[man] Tobor, bringing you chills

you've never known before.

Tobor, the most human--

-Gail, where's the bathroom?
-First door on the left.

Be sure to see Tobor.

All I'm saying
is there's something about that guy.

Be careful.

No, no, you be careful.

I am sick and tired of being careful.

[police radio chatter]

Son of a bitch.

Excuse me.

This building's off limits.

Yeah, yeah, I know.
I'm with the phone company.

I was told we had
this block to ourselves.

You have a work order?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.
Sure, I do.

It's, uh--

You know what,
I must have left it in my truck.

I didn't see any truck.

Look, wait right here.
I gotta call this in.

[suspenseful music playing]

I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

[man] Copy that.

You got a name?

Yep, David Bushner. Age 44.

He was a gas company tech.

Stabbed, one in the chest.

He went missing late last night.
Phone company crew just found him.

Where's his truck?

It's parked up on Downey
where he left it.

We don't know if this is the murder scene
or if he was dumped here.

He was killed somewhere else.

Are you sure?

Yeah, body's on an incline, head down.

Look at the blood stain on his chest.
Blood doesn't flow uphill.

At least, not in my experience.

When was the last time
he was seen upright?

Uh, according to his log,
the last gas line he inspected

was, uh, 304 Downey Road.
10:00 last night.

304 Downey.
That's two doors down from Sharona's.

The water's all rusty.

Oh, it gets like that
after every earthquake.

But I always keep
some mineral water on hand

just for emergencies.

-Hmm.
-Where's all my water?

-[pounding on door]
-[Gail] Mr. Monk.

Mr. Monk, are you in there?

Don't come in. I'm taking a bath.

Are you taking a bath
in mineral water?

Uh, the tap water was a little rusty.

Well, enjoy it,

because that bath is costing me $95.

Okay. Thank you.

He can tell what you're thinking

just by how you're sitting in your chair.

-Wow.
-Mm-hmm.

I should write about him.

You should.

Nobody would believe it.

You'd have to put it
in the science fiction section.

So…

What about you?

What about me?

Oh, hi. [chuckles]

Can I, um, can I help you?

Good afternoon.

I'm lieutenant Disher,
San Francisco Police.

I need to speak to Adrian Monk.

Oh, he's in the bathroom
right now washing up.

That would be Monk.

Mmm.

I need to make sure
that he gets these.

It's very important.

Oh, sure.

Are you, um, are you really a cop?

Yes, I am.

Oh, wow. Look at that.

Nice picture.

Why'd you get rid of the mustache?

My captain has a mustache.

I shaved mine off
so that people could tell us apart.

Oh.

Sharona never told me
she had a sister.

Younger.
How long have you known her for?

-Four years now.
-Really?

And she never mentioned me at all?

Well, she's obviously a little jealous.

Exactly.

Say, Copper, you like Italian food?

Yeah.

[jazz music playing]

Oh, it's hot.

You know, I dated a cop once.

I still have his handcuffs on my bedpost.

Then I should inform you you are still
in possession of stolen property.

I might have to bring you down
to the station.

Really? I might not mind that.

-Here, try this.
-Oh.

Too spicy?

-No, it's perfect.
-Mm, perfect.

So, uh…

What's it like having Adrian Monk
as a houseguest?

Well, a few years ago
a squirrel got into the house,

and I could hear it running
through the attic and the walls.

Took me two months to get rid of it.

-Drove me crazy.
-And?

It's like that.

So are you, um, you gonna wait for him?

Monk.

No, I can't.

If he's washing up,

he could still be
another two or three hours.

I should, uh…

-Could you make sure he gets this?
-Oh, of course.

Thanks for the sauce.

Sauce, yeah.

What do you do
when you're not working?

Um, I don't know.

-Thank you.
-Here you go.

Thank you.

I'll just have one more.

It never comes up.

I'm on call 24/7.

That's terrible.

I mean, you don't ever
feel the need to cut loose,

do something crazy?

Like what?

Like dance.

With me.

Here.

In the afternoon.

I'm a good dancer.

I'll bet you are.

Come on.

Why not?

Thanks. Whoa.

I'm-- I'm fine. I'm fine.

[slow jazz music playing]

I have an idea.

What?

Your apartment's two blocks from here.

Mmm.

We can't get in yet. It's blocked off.

You know what they say.

Good things come to those who wait.

Well, I can't wait.

We can just sneak in.

It's too dangerous.

That's what makes it so exciting.

Come on.

-Are you sure?
-Oh.

I am sure.

Oh.

What?

I just remembered.

I promised Gail I'd be home by 2:30.

We got plenty of time.

Do you have any Q-tips?

Well, lieutenant Disher dropped by.

-He did?
-Yeah, you know, he's kinda cute.

I've got this thing for cops.

Yes, I know.

That's why you and I
get along so swimmingly.

-Do you have any white ones?
-What's the difference?

These are blue.

I'll wait for Sharona.

"Anywhozzle," he dropped this off.

Some phone records you wanted.

Oh.

Oh, and get this--
They found a body near Hobart Park.

A gas company repairman.

Lieutenant Disher said they think
he was killed near Sharona's house.

What?

He said it was probably no big deal,
but the captain wanted you to know.

This is strange.

Darryl.

The phone lines are working.

Really?

Yeah, I can probably
check my messages.

[phone beeps as she dials]

There was a call
from the Rutherford house

to Sharona's at 8:41
yesterday morning.

That's just before
the earthquake hit.

They were probably talking
about the fundraiser.

Then there was another call to Sharona's,

again at 8:45, right--

Right after the quake.

She called Sharona's
before she called 9-1-1.

Maybe she panicked.
Maybe she hit redial.

Damn, where are my keys?
I could've sworn they were in my bag.

Your bag?
That looks just like Sharona's bag.

So?

He said, "Who's the widow?"

-Who did?
-Darryl.

When-- When he saw
Christine Rutherford at the church,

he said, "Who's the widow?"

How did he know she was a widow?

She could've been mourning
her father or her child.

-Maybe he recognized her from TV.
-No.

No, no, he said, "Who's the widow?"

He knows her.

Oh, my God, Sharona.

Oh, my God.

What is it?

It's Henry Rutherford.

[sighs] Listen.

Sharona, this is Henry Rutherford.
I just spoke to the caterer and--

Oh, my God.
It's an earthquake.

-Christine, what are you-- No! No!
-[crash]

I gotta call Adrian.

[gasps]

I think we're going to be going
by your apartment after all.

Move.

[Darryl] We're coming up
to her place now.

[intriguing music playing]

I've been trying to get that idiotic tape
out of your machine for two days.

[police siren]

Don't park here.
Go around the block.

Captain Stottlemeyer, please.
It's Adrian Monk.

Tell him it's very important.

Are you okay?

Oh, how 'bout that? My mother was right.
An aftershock, can you believe it?

Lieutenant, either fix that pipe
or buy everybody an umbrella.

Yes, sir.

Can you take line two, sir? It's Monk.

Better be good.

[speaking gibberish]

What?

[speaking gibberish]

Wait, no, wait.
Monk, slow down. Try it again.

[speaking gibberish]

[Monk continues speaking in gibberish]

Hi, this is Sharona--

[Monk continues speaking in gibberish]

-[speaking gibberish]
-Why don't you write it down?

That's a great idea. Write it down.

Well, he's writing it down.

It says…

[reading gibberish]

Look, tell Monk that I'm gonna send
a squad car, okay?

Well, no, he's already gone.

He's gone?
What do you mean he's gone?

Captain, I think Sharona's in trouble.

Lieutenant.

Get the car.

Tracka!

I was trying to avoid all this.

I was trying to get
to the answering machine

before you heard that message.

Darryl.

Honey, what are you doing here?
I told you I'd take care of it.

You heartless bitch.

Open the bloody door.

[Monk speaking gibberish]

Hold on, hold on.
What the hell is that, Korean?

[speaking gibberish]

Chinese?

[speaking gibberish]

Turn here? You want me to turn here?
Is that what you're saying?

Do you want me to turn here?
Is that what you're saying?

They come over here,
and they take our welfare.

And they take our food stamps.

They don't bother to learn
our damn language.

[speaking gibberish]

Inside.

Oh, my God.

Where's the tape?

Where's the tape?

-It's digital!
-Just take the whole thing.

[sighs] Now,

what are we gonna do with you?

We've got no choice.

Come on, Darryl, do it.
I've come too far to stop now.

-Here?
-Yeah, here. Why not?

'Cause blood is gonna go everywhere.

Who's gonna see blood in this mess?

Monk will.

Monk notices everything.

He's a damn freak.

Just take her to the--

[light intriguing music playing]

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Keep the change.

So you can talk.

Bilingual sons of bitches.

[panting] Oh, my God.

-[screams]
-Where are you goin'?

Oh, God.

[grunting and shouting]

Son of a bitch.

I'm surprised you can talk
with a broken jaw.

I don't have a broken jaw.

Adrian!

Adrian, are you okay?

Oh, God. It's all over.

-I'm gonna need a broom.
-Okay.

[jazz music playing]

Oh, my God, it looks great.

It's back to normal.

I had a cleaning crew take care of it.

Insurance company paid for most of it.

Oh, oh,

I almost forgot.

Here's the note you wrote.

Now do you believe me?

[reading gibberish]

Did I really write this?

Unbelievable.

Uh, Adrian, listen.

Now that you're home,
there's something we have to talk about.

Uh-oh.

I haven't been paid
since the earthquake.

Are you sure?

Yeah, it's been three weeks.

Hmm? Here's your checkbook.

[speaking gibberish]

That's not funny.

[speaking gibberish]

Okay, will you stop it?
You owe me money.

[speaking gibberish]

-I know you're faking it.
-Not faking it.

-You just spoke English.
-[speaking gibberish]

[sighs]

[theme song playing]