Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:04,421
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:06,840
Where the hell is this guy?
3
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:10,052
He said he'd be here in 15 minutes.
It's been nearly 20.
4
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,637
Doesn't he realize
this is an emergency?
5
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,139
Hey, calm down,
will you, Norm? He'll be here.
6
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,225
Well, it's a hell of a world
we live in, Sam.
7
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,935
We can put a man
on the Moon okay,
8
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:19,853
but we can't get
a beer tap repairman here
9
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,522
in a reasonable amount of time.
10
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,106
Norm, sit down.
11
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:24,525
Just relax.
12
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,486
Why don't you have
a bottle of beer?
13
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,530
Sure. Right. A bottle.
14
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:33,742
It's just not the same, Sam.
15
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,871
I'm sure Mr. Clavin
would let you have some of his beer.
16
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,414
I'm afraid not, Woody.
17
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,834
No, no, you see,
we knew that the taps
18
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,795
were gonna be
out of service for a while.
19
00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,630
Sam made an announcement.
20
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,382
So I took a moment to figure out
21
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,760
that if I take just a little sip
every now and again,
22
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,846
it would last until
the repairman fixes yon tap.
23
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:59,226
But when I suggested
the strategy to Mr. Peterson,
24
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,352
he called me--
25
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,312
What was it you
called me again, Norm?
26
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:04,606
Bozo.
27
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,858
Right. I'm a bozo.
28
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,654
I'm gonna go
to the men's room now.
29
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,283
Oh, right. And you're going to take
your beer with you?
30
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,159
Come on, Cliff.
31
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,869
We've been friends for 15 years.
32
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:19,371
What, I'm so pathetic,
33
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:22,124
you think I'm going to steal
my best friend's beer, huh?
34
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,336
You're right, Normie. I trust you.
35
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,887
Bozo.
36
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,897
Yo! Someone call
for a beer tap repair?
37
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,315
About an hour ago!
38
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,650
Where the hell have you been?
39
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,652
Hey! Sit! Sit!
40
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:33,779
Excuse me.
41
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:34,821
Yeah, right over here.
42
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:37,991
Hi.
43
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,868
My name is Carla.
44
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,870
- Hi. Don.
- Yeah. I know.
45
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,705
I read it off your left pec.
46
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:49,086
If you have anything
else written on your body,
47
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,338
I'm looking for something
to read in bed.
48
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,508
Will you let the man do his job,
please, Carla?
49
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,593
I know braille.
50
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:57,928
No. Go on.
51
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,266
Oh, hey, look who's
back from vacation! Miss Howe!
52
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:04,810
Hi, Rebecca.
How was your cruise?
53
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,728
Well, I can honestly say
that it was the most painful,
54
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,314
excruciating, depressing
experience of my life.
55
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,651
There was not one single
eligible bachelor on that whole trip!
56
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:13,944
You know what?
The very first day out,
57
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,779
I stepped on a poison blowfish.
58
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:18,240
My leg swelled up
like a bloated corpse.
59
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,951
A bloated corpse without
unsightly stubble, I hope.
60
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,369
Oh, shut up, Cliff!
61
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,663
Say, Rebecca, maybe
I misunderstood you earlier.
62
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,498
I thought the purpose of your trip
63
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,625
wasn't to snare a husband.
64
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,377
Of course it wasn't.
65
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:31,920
Why'd you go?
66
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,922
Woody, I was very clear about
why I went before I left.
67
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,215
Don't you remember?
68
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,383
No.
69
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:40,095
I said that I went to find myself,
to look myself square in the eye
70
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,431
and find out who I really was,
yadda, yadda, yadda?
71
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,933
I remember the yadda,
yadda, yadda part.
72
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,103
Halfway through the trip,
I realized something,
73
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,938
that my life is doo-doo.
74
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,899
Please, Miss Howe, you may use
that kind of language at sea,
75
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,694
but we're not in the boiler room
among sailors.
76
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:57,863
You know, the problem is
that I'm always looking
77
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,742
for some rich, powerful man.
But not anymore.
78
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,745
Now I want a sweet,
honest guy, excuse me,
79
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,830
you know, a nice, hard-working,
80
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,666
decent kind of fellow
with a great smile.
81
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,003
Excuse me.
82
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,671
But I mean, where
are you gonna find a guy like that?
83
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,840
It's not like they just pop up
out of thin air.
84
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,052
Hey, lady,
your problem's solved.
85
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:22,637
Good. Bill me.
86
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,723
I'm talking to my friends here.
87
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,266
Thank you so much, Don.
88
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,434
If only we lived in a culture
89
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:29,978
where men could kiss
other men without shame.
90
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,316
Excuse me.
91
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,234
I'm Don.
92
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,944
I'm happy for you... Don.
93
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,533
You know, I'm really sorry
about your vacation,
94
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,951
and while I was
working down there,
95
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,620
I couldn't help but notice
96
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,663
how nicely your leg
has recovered.
97
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:50,874
Anyway, I was wondering
98
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,542
if maybe you'd want to go out
99
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,711
and have a cup of coffee,
100
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,296
maybe a movie or something?
101
00:04:58,590 --> 00:04:59,883
Excuse me.
102
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,468
Aren't you a plumber?
103
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,140
Well, a service technician.
104
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,017
Oh! Can you ever forgive me?
105
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,189
Rebecca,
excuse me for interrupting,
106
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,233
but may I ask you a question?
107
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,276
Do you listen to yourself?
108
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:19,611
Well, sometimes.
109
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,655
Not two minutes ago,
you announced to the bar
110
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,615
that you were opening yourself up
to men from any walk of life.
111
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,575
Now, that man seems
attractive, decent,
112
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,286
and most of all, interested in you.
113
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,704
You're lonely, desperate,
114
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,373
and if the bloom
isn't off the rose just yet,
115
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,042
you can certainly hear
pruning shears approaching.
116
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:38,004
He is kind of cute, isn't he?
117
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,048
Actually, he's just
what I was describing.
118
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,550
Is that just like me or what?
119
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:45,136
It's like, I'm just standing here
blathering on and on and on
120
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,180
while opportunity's
just passing me by--
121
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,182
Rebecca! Rebecca, fetch!
122
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,767
Oh, sorry. Yoo-hoo!
123
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,228
Mr. Burly-Working-Class Guy,
hold up a sec.
124
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,157
I had a great time.
125
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,367
So did I.
126
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,002
I'll see you tonight at 7:00?
127
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:17,961
7:00.
128
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,129
And...
129
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,630
Oh, I almost forgot.
130
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:24,134
I got a little something for you
just so you wouldn't be late.
131
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,635
What is it?
132
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:27,888
Don!
133
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,684
- What a beautiful antique watch!
- Yeah.
134
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,644
Oh, I can't accept this, Don.
It's much too expensive.
135
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,898
No, no, I want you to have it.
It was my mother's.
136
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,025
When did she die?
137
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,736
She didn't. She just dozes off a lot.
138
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,989
Don, you're so goofy!
139
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,074
This is so sweet!
140
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,953
Oh, Rebecca,
nothing's too good for you.
141
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,622
Maybe you are.
142
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,587
Look at her
throwing herself at him!
143
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,214
No class.
No class at all.
144
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,430
I just went on
a service call with Don!
145
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,477
He was unplugging a drain.
146
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,313
And we got to sit together,
147
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,274
and we got to eat
out of his lunch pail,
148
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,903
and then I got to hand him
his tools out of his tool belt.
149
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,238
He wears a tool belt?
150
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,827
Man, why don't you
just spit on my grave?
151
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,748
It's nice seeing you guys
have fun like that.
152
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,709
Yeah. And you know
what's different about Don?
153
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,754
It's like I'm not always thinking
about my next move.
154
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,715
You know, the less I work at it,
the better it seems to get.
155
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,676
So I'm just going to take it
nice and easy,
156
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,971
nice and slow, you know,
one step at a time.
157
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,348
I'm not gonna fall
too hard or too fast.
158
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,475
God, I love him!
159
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,355
I love him so much!
160
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,275
Do you know what I'm saying?
161
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,902
Yes. You love him so much!
162
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,278
Yes! Yes!
163
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,741
There's even been
talk of marriage.
164
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:12,742
Marriage?
165
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,078
He talked about marriage?
166
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,913
He says it with his eyes.
167
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,710
And you know what?
I just have to say
168
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,878
that if he did ask me
to marry him right now,
169
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,714
I think that I would
have to say yes.
170
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:27,507
Honey, don't...
171
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,760
You want to step in my office
just for a second?
172
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:31,970
Sure, Sam.
173
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,395
The idea of romantic love
174
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,772
is a relatively
new phenomenon.
175
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:47,944
In olden cultures, wives were
no more than chattel.
176
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,364
They'd parade the women
through the marketplace
177
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:55,702
dressed in nothing but flimsy,
tight-fitting animal skins,
178
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,955
with their breasts
heaving and undulating in the--
179
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,790
Cliff, I don't want
to hear any more of this, okay?
180
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,376
Anybody that wants
to hear the rest of the story,
181
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,711
follow me
in the poolroom, please.
182
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,968
Go ahead, Paul.
You know you want to.
183
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,434
I think you're rushing into this.
You know?
184
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,853
I mean, it's been two weeks.
What do you know about the guy?
185
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,898
I know he's good, he's decent,
186
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,609
and he thinks that I'm the best thing
that ever happened to him.
187
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,110
He said that?
188
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,279
He says it with his eyes.
189
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,365
This guy's eyes
shut up long enough
190
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,284
for his mouth
to ever say anything?
191
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,037
No, Sam.
Look, I appreciate this,
192
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,206
but I'm a big girl,
and you know what?
193
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,541
I think I'm going to go for it.
194
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,835
All right. Okay,
but you're settling.
195
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,172
Settling? No way.
196
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:50,757
Honey, come on.
197
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,343
You've had bad luck
with men all your life.
198
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,886
You're afraid you're
never gonna get married,
199
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:58,640
so you're latching onto the first guy
that gives you the time of day.
200
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:01,267
That is absolutely,
categorically not true.
201
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:02,602
Yes, it is.
202
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:03,853
So what?
203
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,566
Is it not better that I settle
and I have someone
204
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,443
than stick to
my high standards
205
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,445
and have no one
and end up an old maid?
206
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,989
Honey, this smells
of desperation.
207
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,700
You don't...
you don't need that.
208
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,370
You deserve the greatest guy
in the world.
209
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:24,332
Oh, God, oh, God,
I can't believe I'm about to say this.
210
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,708
Sit down.
Sit down. Listen.
211
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,045
I've been doing a...
212
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,549
...doing a lot of thinking recently
about...
213
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:37,887
...marriage and settling down
and stuff.
214
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,098
Yeah?
215
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,227
I can't believe this.
My hands are sweaty.
216
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,437
Come on, Sam. Go on.
What are you saying?
217
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,731
I just think that...
218
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,359
...you and I...
219
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,946
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
wait a minute.
220
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,198
You're not saying what
I think you're saying, are you?
221
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,868
You know, I think
there's a chance for you and me if--
222
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,703
If--if what?
223
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,873
All right, all right.
Here goes.
224
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,499
If...
225
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,043
In the next couple of years,
226
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,461
the right woman
doesn't come along,
227
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,714
you're on the top
of a very short list.
228
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,179
I know! I can't believe
I'm saying this either!
229
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:25,018
God, this is incredible.
230
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:29,647
This... you are saying
that you will marry me
231
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,691
if someone better
doesn't come along?
232
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,652
Is it mind-blowing
or what?
233
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:38,865
Oh, just one--
just one second.
234
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,242
I--I just want to be
crystal clear on this.
235
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:47,290
You sort of look at me
like your safety net?
236
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,167
Okay.
237
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,588
You stupid jackass!
238
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:55,215
- What?
- What? What?
239
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,300
How can you be
so insensitive?
240
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,552
Oh, now, wait a second.
Listen, all right,
241
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,304
maybe the words
didn't come out right,
242
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,139
but all I'm saying is that
243
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:06,309
you don't have to settle
for this... this plumber.
244
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:09,229
Settle? Me?
I will tell you something.
245
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,688
The woman that marries you
246
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,358
will be the all-time,
four-star settler.
247
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,068
What's that
supposed to mean?
248
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,112
What does it mean?
Take a look at yourself.
249
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,031
Look at you. The only thing
you ever think about is sex.
250
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,116
You think you're gonna make
some woman feel special
251
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,618
just because she's
just another notch
252
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,703
in your sliver
of a headboard?
253
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:29,999
Sam, wise up!
254
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,293
Do you ever hear women
talk about you anymore?
255
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,837
You're a cliché!
You are pathetic!
256
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,214
Women talk about you out there
257
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:38,383
and they laugh at you
like you're a joke!
258
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,054
I have work to do.
259
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,809
God, Sam, I'm so--I'm sorry.
260
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:50,019
I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
261
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,188
I--I think that
I just was upset
262
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,399
because you were just
so inconsiderate, and I...
263
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,531
So, the...
264
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,575
...part about me being a joke.
265
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,411
You were just making up
that stuff, right?
266
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,330
Oh, yeah, 'cause...
267
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,333
you know, you hurt me,
so I wanted to hurt you, and--
268
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:17,422
No, I mean, in fact,
you would make any woman...
269
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,008
a real good husband.
270
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,050
You're a catch.
271
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:25,805
Well, yeah, that's better.
272
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,399
Have you noticed that
273
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,818
someone in this bar
is getting a little loony?
274
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,155
Sam, everyone in this bar
275
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,199
is on a connecting flight
to Beyond Loony.
276
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:49,537
I'm talking about Rebecca.
I'm a little worried about her.
277
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,372
- How so?
- Well...
278
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:53,916
She made up this weird story
279
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,752
about how no one would
want to marry me
280
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,755
because, you know, I've had
a lot of women in my day.
281
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,549
What exactly do you
find weird about that?
282
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,927
Don't say you agree with her.
283
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,971
Well, she has a point, Sam.
284
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:10,224
Having a prolific sexual past
can be very intimidating
285
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:13,102
and even unattractive
to a potential mate.
286
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:16,230
You're as crazy as she is, Frasier.
Come on.
287
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:19,692
The woman I choose
is going to feel very special,
288
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,446
like when a great chef
picks the perfect pork chop.
289
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,406
That's beautiful, Sam.
290
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,994
But listen, if this
is really bothering you--
291
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,454
I didn't say
it was bothering me.
292
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,791
All right, okay, okay,
but if it does bother you,
293
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,251
you're perfectly capable
of making a change.
294
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,129
You can reinvent Sam Malone.
295
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,964
This could be a turning point
for you in your life.
296
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:45,051
Listen, I'm going to
write down the number of a man--
297
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,679
His name is Dr. Robert Sutton,
298
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,057
and he has a therapy group
299
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,142
for sexual compulsives.
300
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,814
What are you saying,
I'm hooked on sex?
301
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,942
Let's face it, Sam.
It consumes you.
302
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,527
Be honest, how long
do you think you could go
303
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:03,986
without thinking about sex?
304
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,446
As long as I want.
305
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,033
Fine. Go ahead,
time me.
306
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:10,827
All right. Start now.
307
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:11,994
How long was that?
308
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,707
About a second.
309
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,000
Well, is that normal?
310
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,210
For a rabbit!
311
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,340
You know something?
I don't care what you think.
312
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,592
I am leading the life
that I want to lead,
313
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,011
and if I choose
to settle down someday,
314
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,180
I won't have any problem
finding someone to do it with.
315
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,224
Okay, I tell you what.
Let's get a woman's opinion.
316
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:34,600
Carla will suffice.
317
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,852
Carla...
318
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,606
Sam here has a question
he'd like to pop.
319
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:42,942
Shoot.
320
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,610
Yeah, all right, fine.
321
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:47,780
Carla, strictly hypothetically,
322
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,032
would you marry me?
323
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,703
Sammy, that's a stupid question.
324
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,204
I know it is.
325
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,248
Not in a million years.
326
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,459
What?
327
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,627
Sammy, nobody loves you
as much as I do,
328
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,004
But I know you.
329
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,881
You know? We'd be
taking our wedding vows,
330
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,383
and you'd be
checking out the bridesmaid.
331
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,887
You're a hound.
I can't marry a hound.
332
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,931
Hey, I thought
we had something special
333
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,349
going on between us.
334
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,059
Definitely we do.
335
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,853
I just always thought
that I'd be the woman
336
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,897
you cheated on your wife with.
337
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,900
Call me a hopeless romantic.
338
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,238
Well, Sam...
339
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,073
When you're ready.
340
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,620
- Normie.
- Hey, Frase.
341
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,455
Hey, hey, Norm...
342
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,541
- Can I talk to you a second?
- Sure.
343
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,337
I've been doing a lot of thinking
about my life, you know.
344
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,589
I think I need a little advice.
345
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,217
Whoa. Hold on a second. Is this gonna be
one of those conversations
346
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:52,678
where you're feeling sort of vulnerable
and you really need a good friend to talk to
347
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,264
because you're thinking about changing
the direction of your life?
348
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,474
Yeah...
349
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,059
Could you just
hang on a second then?
350
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,648
Norm said you wanted
to talk to me?
351
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,240
So that's when I gave
Dr. Sutton a call.
352
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,373
Excuse me...
353
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,042
Is this the meeting for the...
354
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,878
- Sex thing?
- Yes.
355
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,381
The sexual compulsives group, yes.
356
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,967
- I'm Dr. Sutton.
- Hi.
357
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,010
- Have a seat.
- Thank you.
358
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,595
We've just been
going around the room
359
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,639
telling a little bit about ourselves.
360
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,641
Why don't we continue with you.
361
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:41,852
Start with your name,
first name only, please.
362
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,605
All right.
363
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,277
My name is Steve.
364
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,947
- Hi, Steve.
- Hi, Steve.
365
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:56,617
Well...
366
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,163
I'm starting off
on the wrong foot here.
367
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,375
My real name is not Steve, it's...
368
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,586
Bob.
369
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,631
- Hi, Bob.
- Hi, Bob.
370
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,970
I can't believe I'm doing this.
371
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,180
I'm really embarrassed.
372
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,933
My name isn't Bob, either.
373
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,560
It's... It's Sam.
374
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,480
No, really. It is. It's Sam.
375
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:28,733
- Hi, Sam.
- Hi, Sam.
376
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,153
Well...
377
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,405
Where to begin?
378
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,199
See, I don't really have a problem.
379
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:40,286
It's just that my friends think I do.
380
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:45,166
See, I've had a lot
of sex in my life.
381
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,251
We all have.
382
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:48,794
No, no...
383
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,383
See, I mean a lot.
384
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:56,761
So do I.
385
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,472
Yeah, all right, wise guy.
I'm writing down a number here...
386
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,227
Sam, I think you're missing the point.
387
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:07,897
Sorry.
388
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:12,943
Yeah, I don't know
why they think I have a problem.
389
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,821
So I have a healthy
sex drive, big deal.
390
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,990
What's the big deal
about that, huh?
391
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:24,205
I mean, granted,
it's a big part of my life.
392
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,875
When I'm not having sex,
I'm thinking about it.
393
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:33,381
I don't want you to
think that I'm shallow,
394
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,049
'cause I have other
interests, too,
395
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,051
you know, like--
like my hair.
396
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,767
Babes really love my hair.
397
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,815
I don't know what the big deal is.
398
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,191
You know, when I was growing up,
399
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,527
it was a sign of manhood
400
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,654
how many women you shagged.
401
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,574
I guess I just missed
the announcement
402
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,201
when they changed the rule,
403
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,370
so I just...
404
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,956
kept on doing it.
405
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,375
I suppose if I'm really honest,
406
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:13,754
I'm not that happy anymore.
407
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,759
I suppose I'm beginning to realize
408
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:21,220
that all that skirt chasing
409
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:25,433
kept me from experiencing
some of the good things in life,
410
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:26,726
some of the...
411
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,395
important things.
412
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:32,982
Whew.
413
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,025
Maybe...
414
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,528
Maybe I'm not here
for my friends.
415
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,989
Maybe I am here for myself.
416
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,539
Thank you, Sam. I know
that was difficult for you,
417
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,624
but we're glad you're here.
418
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,835
Who's next?
419
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,086
How about you?
420
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:59,216
Well, I guess
I've had this problem--
421
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,926
Excuse me. Your name?
422
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,595
Oh. Sorry.
423
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,472
Rachel.
424
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,348
- Hi, Rachel.
- Hi, Rachel.
425
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:11,228
I guess the root of my behavior,
like everybody's,
426
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,189
is my low self-esteem.
427
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:18,360
I never thought I was very pretty
or had any particular talent.
428
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:20,946
The only time I felt special
429
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,783
was when men
were attracted to me sexually.
430
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,994
And it started out
innocently enough, you know.
431
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:30,831
I would sleep with a guy
on the first date every now and then.
432
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,001
It wasn't long
before I was having
433
00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:36,337
a first date every night.
434
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:38,714
And soon...
435
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:41,008
sex was all I could think about.
436
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:44,720
Morning, noon, and night,
seven days a week.
437
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:48,265
It wasn't enough
as far as quantity.
438
00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:50,643
It had to be
dangerous, too.
439
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:54,188
I would duck into an alleyway
with a guy on the way to work.
440
00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:57,399
Or I'd stop an elevator
between floors,
441
00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:00,778
sneak a guy into
a department store dressing room.
442
00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:05,366
I would love to put a stop to this,
443
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:08,410
because I feel
like my appetites are out of control.
444
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:10,329
I hunger for it constantly.
445
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,875
And there's no limit
to how low I'll go.
446
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,503
There's no chance I won't take,
447
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,130
no fantasy I won't fulfill.
448
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,344
My lust controls me,
and that's why I'm here.
449
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,437
So, you like Chinese food?
30633
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof