All language subtitles for Cheers.S11E10.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Normie, it's the Kennedys.

- Let's go tell the guys.
- No, no, no, no, no!

I got a camera with me here.

Get a snapshot.
I'll pretend I'm with them.

I'll be nonchalant, okay?

Would you guys like a picture?

That would be great. Do you mind?

- No, no.
- You sure you don't mind?

Great. Thank you. Okay.

All right. Thank you so much.

Thank you. I really appreciate it.
Nice to see you.

Nice to meet you.

- Bye.
- Bye-bye.

All right!

Hey, Cliff ie. What you doing?

I'm writing a little letter here
to a Russian cosmonaut

who's stranded in
the space station up there.

How you going to get it to him?

Cheers.

Hi, honey.

Let's not go through this again.

I thought we already had it decided.

We're gonna stay in my apartment.

How do you know you don't like it?
You haven't seen it yet.

Trust me, Kelly,
you're gonna come to love Chinatown.

Now don't forget, our place is the one
right next to the shop

with the beheaded ducks
draining in the window.

Well, I love you, too. Bye-bye.

What was that all about?

Well, since our wedding,
Kelly and I have been living

in one of the Gaines' guest houses.

Now she wants to get a house of our own,
but I can't afford it.

So, I think we should just live
in my old apartment.

You've kept your apartment
the whole time?

Well, I kind of had to.
I have a 10-year lease.

How'd you get stuck
with a 10-year lease?

I had to do some pretty fancy talking.

I saved 10 bucks a month.

That's money in my pocket.

Let me ask you something.

You think Kelly's gonna be happy
in that little place of yours?

Well, what does it matter?

I'm the husband. I call the shots.

Isn't that rather sexist, Woody?

You got to understand,
That's how I was brought up.

Back in Hanover,
The man is the king of the castle.

When he gives an order,
all his wives have to listen.

Wives, Woody?

Wife, I said wife. Singular.

Well, I mean, the thought that a man
could have more than one wife.

That's preposterous.

I mean, not to mention illegal.
I know that.

So do all the citizens of Hanover.

Anybody else curious about Hanover?

Come on, Norm.
I'm sure it's just a normal,

rural, small little farm town.

I'm sure Woody's stories
are all greatly exaggerated.

Want to go there?

End up a human sacrifice
to the Corn God?

Thank you, no.

Nobody told me the fleet was in.

So...

What can I get you,
you silver-haired boy toy?

I'm looking for Rebecca Howe.

Why do you want hamburger,
when you can have fillet mignon?

She's my daughter.

Excuse me.

Hi, there. I'm sorry.

Did I hear you right,
that you're Rebecca Howe's father?

That's right. Captain Franklin E. Howe,
United States Navy.

I'm Sam Malone.
Maybe she mentioned me to you.

Yes, you're the bright young fella who
tried to have a baby with my daughter

without the sanctity of wedlock.

So my name came up, then.

I have just one question for you.

What the hell were you thinking, boy?

What the hell were you thinking?

Well, we were both thinking, sir,

that, you know,
because we're such good friends.

We weren't in love, yes, that's true,

but we thought we could be
a mommy and a daddy

without the commitment
and the other stuff.

I know saying this right now
sounds kind of...

Even to me, it sounds...

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Daddy.

Daddy, what are you doing here?

I just wanted to see my little Pookie.

Daddy!

Everybody, I want you to meet my father.

You can just call him Brig.
That's his nickname.

They call him "Brig,'
because he put so many sailors in jail.

Then why don't they call me "Brig"?

Daddy, come on.

Daddy, I'm so surprised to see you.

Is anything wrong?

Well, to tell you the truth, Pookie,

Your mother and I
became a little concerned

- when we received your last postcard.
- Well, why?

It said, 'Having a wonderful time.
Wish I were dead."

Daddy, just sit here and I'll get us
a couple of beers or something.

Everybody, come here, come here.

Listen, I need your help.

Listen, my dad can be kind of critical,

so let's not go into
some of the dumber things

that I've done while I've worked here.

What are we going to talk to him about?

I don't know.
You can talk to him about anything.

Talk to him about the weather.

My dad sort of thinks
that I'm some sort of screw-up.

No! No! Come on!

Very funny.

It all started when my dad
took me as a little girl

on a tour of his aircraft carrier.

Well, to make a long story short...

I shot something off the boat.

One international incident,
and I am branded for life.

Anyway, it's just very important
that he thinks I know what I'm doing.

So let's not bring things up
like losing the liquor license

Or the flood, God forbid,
do not mention the fire.

She lost the liquor license,
and then she flooded the place?

That's not the capper.
She burned it down.

Pookie.

You burned down the bar.

No, I was going to tell you,
but I thought you'd be mad.

I see.

It's the playroom incident
all over again.

Pookie, I'm very concerned about you.

I mean, let's review.

No, Daddy, let's not review.

In the past year,
you tried to have a baby

with a man you weren't married to.

You burned down
your place of business,

and now, according to your last letter,

you want another raise
in your allowance.

Excuse me, did you just say
a raise in her allowance?

No, he did not say raise in allowance.

He said...

...that old lazy Jack Palance.

Daddy, what's say we go have some lunch?
Come on.

Let's talk about the family.
How's Susan doing?

Oh, your sister's fine.

She got a raise and a promotion.

Bitch.

Hey, guys.

Guess what grown-up bar manager
is still getting an allowance

from her Navy dad?

Who?

An allowance? That explains how
she can afford a fancy car

and that apartment of hers.

Boy, imagine somebody getting
an allowance at her age?

My ma cut me off when I was 30.

No ifs, ands, or buts,
and it hurt, I tell you.

Hurt like hell.

But it had a happy ending.

Made you more self-reliant, Cliff?

Nah. Couple years later,
her pension fund went bankrupt.

She had to come crawling
to me for some dough.

I just gave her the old horse laugh.

What goes around,
huh, boys?

That's got to be just so demeaning.

Living your life
on the dole the whole time.

Take, take, take...

- Want that on your tab?
- Yeah, please.

How could she look at herself
in the mirror?

I would die of embarrassment.

How was lunch, sweetheart?

It was terrific.

You know, when I was a kid,
I used to be afraid of my dad

because he was sort of
pushy and overbearing.

But I'll tell you, we have really
learned to communicate.

It's just like two adults, one-on-one.

You mean like one adult
asks the other one

for a raise in their allowance,

and the other adult says,
"Okay, Pookie"?

Very, very funny, Carla.

Now, now, now, let's not all
jump down Rebecca's throat.

I received a stipend
from my father for a time.

A little out-of-pocket money
to spend as I saw fit.

On entertainment, what have you.

So you see, I've been through exactly
what Rebecca's going through right now.

Thank you, Frasier.

And then I turned 11.

Hi, Woody.

Hi, honey. Did you find the apartment?

Yes, Mr. Smarty-pants, I found it.

Very funny.
Now, where's your real apartment?

What are you talking about?

Woody, the place you gave me directions
to was this stinky little room

with bars on the windows and an old
Farrah Fawcett poster on the wall.

Hey, I'm married, not dead.

Woody, please let my
family buy us a house.

Don't make me go back to that place.

Kelly, that's our home.

That's all I can afford,
and that's where we're gonna live.

Well, Mr. No-wife-of-mine-
will-have-her-family-buy-us-a-house-

even-if-we-have-to-
live-like-peasants Boyd.

If you insist, then I guess
I have no choice.

Well, first of all, that's not my name.

And second of all, I do insist.

Fine. I'll move my furniture in
first thing this afternoon.

But I have to tell you, Woody Boyd,

this is the worst day of my life,
and I wish I was dead.

Bye, everybody.

Thank you.

Hey, pretty-boy.

Where's my daughter?

She's in the office.
You want me to go get her?

No, Woody.

I think he was talking to me.

Oh, right.

Maybe a few years ago.

God, this place makes me sick.

Bunch of indolent do-nothings
sitting around on their fat cans.

You know, if you squint really hard,
it could be Vera.

You know, I happen to
agree with you there, Captain.

But then again,
we men of uniform tend to think alike.

That's not a uniform, that's a costume.

It doesn't become a uniform
till you strap on a sidearm.

Ever done that, son?

Some days when I'm feeling jittery.

Oh, Daddy! You're back.

Pookie, I've been doing some thinking.

We've got to talk. Sit down.

- Not another review.
- Yes, another review.

Princess...
We have a situation here.

Now, I've butted out
of your life for 39 years.

Thirty-five.

Honey, I was there.

I've come to two decisions.

One, I've decided not
to up your allowance.

- Two--
- I don't want to hear two!

Well, you're going to.

Two-- I've decided to pull the plug
on your Boston life.

You're coming back home to live
with your mother and me.

What?

I'm sorry to say you've
made a mess of things.

Now, I'm going back to my hotel to pack.

I expect you to do the same.

Hold it a second, Daddy.
You can't do this to me.

I'm a grown woman. I'm an adult.

I can stand on my own two feet.

You heard me.
You're coming back home with me.

I hate you!

I hate you! I hate you!

I wish I was adopted!

I wish I was never born!

I don't mind telling you, that went
a lot better than I thought it would.

Well, Malone, how long do you think
she can stay in there?

Sorry to say, sir, for a long time.

There's food in there, there's water,

The sofa pulls out to a bed.

There's a shock, sex-boy.

Hey, you--

Daddy... I've thought it over.

You were right, as usual,

So I'll pack my things
and come home with you.

Well, just don't stand there.

Wait, you're not just gonna pack up
and go live in San Diego.

Why not? Who am I kidding?
You heard him.

I'm just a failure here in Boston.

Oh, sure. I say it five years ago
and get yelled at.

You're doing the right thing,
sweetheart.

Your old room is waiting for you.

You'll have a chance to regroup,
get your life back in order.

Yeah, that's how they
try to sell it to you,

but read the small, fine print, baby.

After a couple of weeks,

you'll be crazier than a rat
in a coffee can.

You better be running along, sweetheart.
You've got a lot to do.

I'll meet you back here tonight.

Wait, wait, wait.

That's it? You're just gonna do it?

Well, he is my daddy.

Well-- Well, he--

You may not be able to do it, but I can.

Excuse me for a minute, sir.

If you don't mind me saying so,
I don't think you're being fair.

You can't ask her to pack up and go
just 'cause you don't think she made it.

Was it that kind of persuasive arguing

that got my daughter into trying
to conceive your bastard child?

Boy, you really just can't
see your way past that, can you?

Everyone, I-- I have something
to say to you.

I came to this bar five years ago
a strong, independent businesswoman,

and now I'm going to go back home

and move back in with Mommy and Daddy.

You've all really touched my life.

Captain Howe...

I normally make it a point not
to butt into people's personal affairs,

but, sir, you are quite possibly
the meanest,

most loathsome father I've ever seen.

Don't get your panties in a bunch, son.

She's not going anywhere.

I beg your pardon?
I was using reverse psychology.

I tell her she's failed and demand
that she come home with me.

She, in an effort to prove me wrong,
stands up to me, tells me off,

and refuses to take any more money
from her mother and me.

We don't even have her old room anymore.

It's a sewing room.

That's nice. Your wife sews, huh?

Don't impose gender roles on me.

Trust me. I know my daughter.

It may take a little while,

but eventually,
she'll screw up her nerve,

she'll walk through that door
and she'll tell me off.

In the meantime,
I'll just stay here and wait.

Give me a beer.

Sir, did I ever tell you that I was
in the Coast Guard?

Coast Guard, huh?
Well, you must be very proud, miss.

So, buy a girl a drink?

Honey, it's open.

Kelly? What is all this?

You told me to move all my furniture in,
so I did.

Why, is there a problem?

Do you think you laid it out
in the best possible way?

I don't think it matters, Woody.
We'll just live in a cramped apartment.

All right, you win.
I'll call the Realtor and...

and we'll go look at houses, okay?

You better hurry. I can't feel my legs.

As a man who has 30 years
of naval experience,

I can say in all confidence
that if that crew got together

and shot Gilligan, they'd have been
off that island in a week.

Problem solved.

Well, I see it didn't take you long

to suck him
into your little world there, Norm.

You kidding?

Give me an hour with the pope,
I'll have him singing the Mr. Ed theme.

So I take it Rebecca
hasn't returned yet?

I'm getting worried, too.

If she was gonna stand up to her father,
she'd be here now.

I'm afraid she's gonna pack and go home.

God, it'll be nice to get my daughter
off the gravy train.

Finally I can afford to retire.

Daddy, I'm ready to go home.

I-- Just a second, Pookie.

Looks like your little plan
didn't work, huh, sir?

That-- That was not a criticism...

I thought that was gonna work myself.
I thought it was a damn good plan.

I don't understand why it didn't--
It should have worked.

Is it still hot in here?

Pookie...

I have a little confession to make.

You see, I only asked you
to come home with me

So you would stand up to me.

I was using reverse psychology.

Wow.

What time does our plane leave?

No, no, no, no, Pookie.

You still don't get it.

I was throwing down the gauntlet
to make you prove

that you could take your life
in your own hands.

- Come on, Daddy, let's get out of here.
- No, no, no, no. You're a big girl now.

You don't need me anymore.
You can make it on your own.

No, I can't, Daddy, I do need you.

Well, how about if...

How about if I raise your allowance 25%?

Just 25%?

Well, I'm a bigger failure
than that, Daddy.

You said so yourself.

Fifty percent.

Fifty percent.

Maybe I can make it.

Look out, Boston.

Pookie, I love you.

I love you, too.

But you know, Daddy,

with the high cost
of living, inflation...

Okay, okay, okay, 75%.

Look, Pookie, can I go home now?
I got to get to work in the morning.

Daddy, you work so hard.
When are you gonna get to retire?

Apparently when they wrap a flag
around me and slide me off the ship.

Rebecca Howe...

You shamelessly extorted money
from your own father.

High five!

Wait a minute.
So you were never planning to leave?

No way.

When did you cook this whole thing up?

When I went in the office,
when I was mad.

I called my mother
to ask her what to do.

Mom. Becs again.

Yeah. The fish bit.

Mother, Mother, your cut is in the mail.