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1
00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:04,296
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,677
Cheers.
3
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,514
Hang on a second.
I'll check.
4
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,519
Yeah,
the refrigerator's running.
5
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,103
Thank you for asking.
6
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,817
What?
7
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:28,237
How could it
possibly get away?
8
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:34,243
No. A refrigerator doesn't
have the power of movement.
9
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,996
Well, yeah, sure I get it,
but, see--
10
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,123
"Running," the way
you're using it,
11
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,959
can only mean "working."
12
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,877
See, it's what we call a homonym.
13
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:48,549
I'm sorry, too.
14
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:52,719
Boy, Mr. Peterson,
some people...
15
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,807
Well, you tried
to explain the joke.
16
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,559
That's the problem.
17
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,594
Hey, Dr. Crane,
after you're done with that paper,
18
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,012
can I have it?
19
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:18,513
Actually, I planned
on saving it, Woody.
20
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,015
See, there's an article here
21
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,767
on the ins and outs
on buying diamonds,
22
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,477
and I was thinking of buying
Lilith a brooch.
23
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,897
Oh, okay. See, I was wanting
to clip the coupons
24
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,398
'cause I'm trying to
make it to my next paycheck.
25
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,525
But I don't want
to cut up your article
26
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,654
on jewels and diamonds.
27
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,155
Here's the paper, Woody.
28
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,407
You know, Lilith and I
are actually
29
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,451
making some economic
concessions as well.
30
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:42,204
For instance, I decided
not to buy that new BMW.
31
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,373
- Really?
- That's right.
32
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,041
So what are the coupons for?
33
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,918
Food.
34
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:50,545
You know what?
35
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,506
I'm going
to stop talking now.
36
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,426
Top of the morning to ye.
37
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,430
So, how do you like
my outfit there, Norm?
38
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,432
Cliff, you're my friend.
39
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,142
I haven't judged you
in the past
40
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,353
and I'm not gonna start now.
41
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,647
Hey, listen up, everybody.
42
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,065
I got an announcement
to make here.
43
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,943
Yours truly has been
selected by the USPS
44
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,529
for a reenactment
of the first mail delivery
45
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,489
down the venerable
Boston Post Road.
46
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:20,742
Yeah, I'm gonna be riding
a horse on the last leg
47
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,411
from Hingham to the Central PO.
48
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,788
Heh heh. That's why
I'm dressed this way.
49
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,498
What way?
50
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:31,211
You know, this crazy-looking outfit.
51
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:34,256
Boy, are you
splitting hairs today.
52
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:36,967
Cliff ie, look, you can't ride a horse.
You're afraid of horses.
53
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,593
How do you know?
54
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,429
I know you're afraid
of that little carousel
55
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,639
in front of the market.
56
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,350
That was a safety concern, Norm.
57
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:46,685
Is that why you were screaming,
58
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:49,271
"Stop! Stop!
We're all gonna die"?
59
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,440
I was concerned about the kids, Norm.
60
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,400
Is that so wrong?
61
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,194
Boy, Cliff,
I am so jealous.
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00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,447
I used to love horses.
63
00:03:58,613 --> 00:03:59,990
You know,
when I was a little girl,
64
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,784
every weekend
I would ride my pony.
65
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:05,162
And I would feed my pony
sugar cubes
66
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,664
and little bits of chocolate
and Snickers.
67
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,124
They really like that.
68
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,085
And sometimes I would
give my pony some Snickers,
69
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,588
and then I would
eat some Snickers.
70
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,716
And then other times
I would eat all the sugar cubes
71
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,135
and the chocolate
and the Snickers
72
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:23,096
before I ever
got to the stable.
73
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,098
And then one time
my riding instructor told me
74
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,809
I couldn't ride my pony anymore.
75
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,437
Why, Miss Howe?
76
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:35,108
Well, he said that I had...
outgrown it.
77
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,737
I don't want to talk
about this anymore.
78
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:40,989
Well, I hope you'll all
tune in tonight.
79
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,617
The local news
is going to show
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00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,827
my triumphant ride
to the post office.
81
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,120
Yeah, heh heh.
82
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,663
It's a big moment for me.
83
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,875
Ah, it's the high point
of my career, you know?
84
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,628
It's the high point
of my entire life.
85
00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,507
Hey, why is Cliff ie
dressed like that?
86
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,842
I forget.
87
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,888
Saa-am.
88
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:06,515
What are you doing
down here, Hill?
89
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:09,768
Hair Club For Men meeting?
90
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:13,063
Oh, I didn't see you
down there, Miss Tortelli,
91
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,148
although, frankly, you do...
92
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,901
...announce your presence.
93
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,153
So, have you decided what color
94
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,906
you're going to dye your head
for Easter?
95
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:27,536
Why don't you just scuttle
under the office door and get Sam?
96
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,955
Sam! Hill's here!
97
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,374
Don't tell me.
98
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,000
Pizza for lunch?
99
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,046
Hi, John. What's up?
100
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,507
Saa-am, we have a problem.
101
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,008
I gotta be honest
with you, John.
102
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,135
The way you pronounce my name
really bugs me.
103
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,804
How would you like me
to pronounce it?
104
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,764
Sam. Just Sam.
105
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:48,932
You try it.
106
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,309
Saa-am.
107
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,061
All right, John,
108
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,232
what would you say if you were
gonna order a ham sandwich?
109
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,818
I don't eat haa-am.
110
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:03,071
Never mind.
What do you want?
111
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:06,658
My busboy informs me
that the Dumpsters are full.
112
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,369
Our Dumpsters are full.
What's the big problem?
113
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,580
Aha. They are not
our Dumpsters.
114
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,707
They are my Dumpsters.
115
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,584
If that's confusing, perhaps
116
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,378
I'll have a likeness of your face
painted on the Dumpster
117
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,797
with a bold line drawn through it.
118
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,008
In fact, I'll do that anyway...
119
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,552
Just for a giggle.
120
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,929
Perhaps I'll have
buttons made up.
121
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,265
I'll make it a whole thing.
122
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:33,268
Hey, Hill, you can't
order us around like that.
123
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,645
Sammy can do anything he wants
with his trash.
124
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,773
Yes. I see today he's dressed it up
in an apron.
125
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:43,528
I guess you know all about
dressing up, huh, Hill?
126
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:48,617
Saa-am, if any more
of your refuse
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00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,243
is deposited in my Dumpsters,
128
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,162
I'll have them emptied
in the center of this bar,
129
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:53,622
and if it happens again,
130
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,458
I'll do something
your customers will notice.
131
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,047
Can you believe that guy?
132
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:05,008
Him and his niggly little
nit-picking details.
133
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:07,677
I mean, who cares if I stick
stuff in his Dumpster?
134
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:10,055
Actually, Sammy,
Dumpsters are kind of expensive
135
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,140
to maintain and empty.
136
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,643
He's been kind of generous
to let you use them for so long.
137
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,187
After all, the guy's
running a business.
138
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:20,273
Good point, Norm.
Good point.
139
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,650
Speaking of business,
140
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,986
what do you think
we ought to do about...
141
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,155
...your bar tab here?
142
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,284
We could throw it
in our Dumpsters.
143
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,379
Hey, Miss Howe,
Mr. Hill put a lock on the Dumpster.
144
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:43,964
What should I do
with this?
145
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,465
Just set it down someplace.
146
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,759
All right.
147
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,139
Cliff ie, you want to
pass me the sports page, please?
148
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,685
Mr. Peterson, that's just
a bag of garbage you're talking to.
149
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,354
Come here, Woody.
150
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,314
Maybe if we all
cut Cliff a little bit of slack,
151
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,693
he wouldn't be such a "bag of garbage,"
as you put it. Okay?
152
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,322
Can you believe that guy?
153
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,866
He stuck a padlock
on our Dumpsters.
154
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,868
You know, just once,
just once
155
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,246
I would like to do something
to really stick it to him.
156
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,331
Sammy, forget about it.
157
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,749
You'll never beat that guy.
158
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,669
You're right.
Who am I kidding?
159
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,547
I'm no match for that guy.
He's too evil.
160
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,551
What am I thinking?
161
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,261
All this time,
there's somebody in this bar
162
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,389
who's so mean, so nasty,
so full of hate
163
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:37,225
that they could take on Hill
in one second.
164
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:40,020
Boy, I don't know, Sam.
I'm kind of busy right now.
165
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,815
What about Carla?
She can be pretty mean.
166
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,526
That's a good idea, Woody.
Good idea.
167
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,194
Carla, come here.
I got a job for you.
168
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,113
Yeah, what do you
want me to do?
169
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,573
I want you to get even for me.
170
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,366
I want you to take
all your meanness,
171
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,035
all your nastiness,
172
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,663
and unleash it on that
knobby-headed weasel
173
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,832
John Allen Hill.
174
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:04,044
You want I should
make him cry?
175
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,714
That's perfect.
176
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,008
Yeah, make the little man cry.
177
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,303
Consider it done.
178
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,388
Yeah, right, now how are you gonna
make him cry?
179
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,308
You don't think I can
make somebody cry?
180
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,226
No, actually, I don't.
181
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,858
Maybe you're right.
182
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,362
Say, Rebecca...
183
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,240
When you were a little girl,
184
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,326
why did you stop riding that pony?
185
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:41,664
Was it because
you got too fat?
186
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,876
Just too damn fat?
187
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:49,464
So damn fat,
you broke the back of a horse?
188
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:55,053
What's the matter, Becs?
Your eyes seem a little shiny.
189
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:58,223
It's just an allergy
or something.
190
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,976
If anybody needs me,
I'll be in my office.
191
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,654
You know, I really
like Cheetos, but...
192
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,447
Orange fingers?
193
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,407
Yeah.
194
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:17,826
I hate that, too.
195
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,745
At home I use
a great big spoon.
196
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,247
I'll try that.
197
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,418
What's this?
198
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:30,588
That's a flyer that Mr. Clavin wanted me
to pass around to the customers.
199
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,674
Why didn't you?
200
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,552
Because it's a flyer that Mr. Clavin
wanted me to pass around
201
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:39,055
to the customers.
We've had trouble in that area before.
202
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,473
"Tune in tonight
203
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,225
to catch letter carrier
Cliff Clavin
204
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,269
recreate the historic
first mail delivery
205
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,312
on the Boston Post Road.
206
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,691
This is a proud moment for Cliff Clavin
and every American."
207
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,443
Hey, it's right now.
Let's tune in.
208
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,445
Oh, this is a great
Barnaby Jones though.
209
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,656
It's the one where
he goes undercover as a swinger
210
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,741
to solve a jewel heist.
211
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,077
Okay.
Oh, we'll flip back and forth.
212
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:04,205
The crowd here
at the Central Post Office
213
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,875
is waiting for letter carrier
Clifford Clavin,
214
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,211
who we understand
is an award-winning equestrian.
215
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,882
Mr. Clavin seems
to be running late
216
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,885
and his whereabouts
are currently unknown.
217
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,386
In other news, Governor...
218
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:21,973
- I hope everything's okay with Cliff ie.
- So, Barnaby's a swinger?
219
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,725
Wait till you see him.
He wears hip-huggers,
220
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,935
gold chains, platform shoes.
221
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,734
Cheers.
222
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,360
Oh, yeah,
hang on just a second.
223
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,738
Hey, Mr. Peterson,
it's Mr. Clavin.
224
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:40,700
Cliff ie, where are you?
225
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:43,077
I don't know, Norm.
Somewhere in the combat zone.
226
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,371
Naked, naked, naked!
227
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,290
Hey, Norm, you gotta
come and get me.
228
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,958
This horse has got
a mind of its own.
229
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,376
Whoa!
230
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,131
It's amazing.
231
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:56,674
Cliff ie's in trouble.
232
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,718
I better go look for him.
233
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:02,055
Shoot. They never
rerun this episode.
234
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,266
I don't think I've seen
the ending of this one.
235
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,393
The jewels are
in the dog's collar.
236
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,437
Oh. Thank you, Phil.
237
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,691
Gee, Carla, you were up there
with Hill a long time. What happened?
238
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,109
I don't want to talk about it.
239
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,861
Hey, what'd you say to him?
240
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,071
Shut up and
get out of my way,
241
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,032
you stupid,
dirt-eating farm boy.
242
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:26,371
Ouch. I'd hate to be on
the receiving end of that.
243
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,546
What is going on?
244
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,549
In this bar, I don't ask.
245
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,681
Now, apparently you're upset
over something.
246
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,604
Or not. I don't know
you that well.
247
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,606
Carla, now just relax
and try to breathe.
248
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,899
Just breathe.
249
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,989
All right, now,
is it out of your system?
250
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,740
All right, now talk to us.
251
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:03,992
Aah!
252
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,618
Carla! Carla!
Whoa, whoa!
253
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,081
Carla, what has
gotten into you?
254
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,375
First of all,
you have to promise
255
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,669
to never repeat this
to anybody.
256
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,005
I swear.
That goes without saying.
257
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,216
Okay. I just did
a really, really, really bad thing.
258
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:24,012
When I was up there with Hill,
I just kind of lost control.
259
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,139
Ohh? You didn't break something
really expensive, did you?
260
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,223
No, worse than that.
261
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,433
- Did you hurt him?
- Worse!
262
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,435
Oh, no. Did he have
a heart attack?
263
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,020
- No! Worse.
- He's dead?
264
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,313
Oh, you guys, You don't get it.
265
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,440
I didn't kill him.
266
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,525
I slept with him.
267
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:39,610
Yikes.
268
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,916
You had sex with Hill?
269
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,753
John Allen Hill?
270
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,756
Upstairs John Allen Hill?
271
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,466
It was so crazy.
272
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:02,884
I marched into his office
273
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,678
and I started calling him
bald and wrinkled,
274
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,806
and he started calling me
short and ugly.
275
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,558
And before I knew it,
276
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:13,353
our clothes were off
and we were insulting each other
277
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,063
against the filing cabinet.
278
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,609
But, Carla, I mean, he is-- He's...
279
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:20,860
You know what I call him?
280
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,363
The bullet.
281
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:30,411
Carla, I--I believe
I understand what happened.
282
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,080
You two have a classic
283
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,082
attraction/repulsion
relationship.
284
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,417
It's really a fairly common phenomenon.
285
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,836
People who are constantly
at odds with one another
286
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:42,590
very often have rivers of passion
raging between them,
287
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:44,675
until one day
the banks overflow
288
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,678
in a torrent of unthinking,
unreasonable emotion.
289
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:51,766
Plus the guy's practically
a contortionist.
290
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:59,065
I can't believe I did this.
291
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,525
I betrayed Sam.
292
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,903
I went up there
to take on his worst enemy,
293
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,864
and I ended up having
a nooner with him.
294
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:16,582
Oh, I just hope Sammy
doesn't find out about this.
295
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,002
Oh, Carla, you're going to have
to face Sam sooner or later.
296
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,295
He's bound to find out.
297
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:22,713
Yeah, Lilith's right.
298
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:26,092
Yeah, I guess you're right.
299
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,095
Okay... well, I'll just
catch Sam tonight
300
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,596
when nobody else is around
301
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,557
and I'll tell him the truth.
302
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:36,102
I'll tell him that what happened
with Hill was a one-time thing
303
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,187
and it will never
happen again.
304
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,940
Unless...
I accidentally catch a glimpse
305
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:44,861
of those...
wiry, bantam legs of his.
306
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,537
Evening, everybody.
307
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,080
- Norm!
- Norm!
308
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:58,624
Hey, Mr. P.
How goes the search for Mr. Clavin?
309
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,751
Not as well as the search
for Mr. Doughnut.
310
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:03,921
I found him every couple of blocks.
311
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:09,302
Boy, poor Mr. Clavin.
Who knows what happened to him?
312
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,761
I'm worried about him, really.
313
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,305
Why don't you
give me the phone.
314
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,599
Check the hospitals or something,
shouldn't I?
315
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,851
Mass general.
316
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,144
Hey, Normie,
I got dish.
317
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,770
I'll call you back.
318
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,273
It's about Carla
and that Hill upstairs.
319
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,524
Spill it. What?
320
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,069
- Eew.
- Ha ha.
321
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,404
Hey, Frasier. Hey, Frasier.
322
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:29,947
You hear about Carla, huh?
323
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,700
Did I hear?
Who do you think told Polo?
324
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,703
Wow. Carla and Hill.
325
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,371
I saw it coming.
326
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:40,416
You didn't have to be Kreskin.
327
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:41,584
Frasier,
328
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,878
I cannot believe
that you revealed
329
00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:46,672
what is essentially
a professional confidence.
330
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,591
Sweetheart, did she
pay you a dime?
331
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,510
No.
332
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,386
Then why are we having
this discussion?
333
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:55,681
What's everybody
talking about?
334
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,185
Woody, when Carla
went upstairs to see Hill today,
335
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,228
she...
336
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,397
Well, they... did the deed.
337
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,565
You know what I mean?
338
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,026
I'm not following you,
Dr. Crane.
339
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,611
Carla and Hill,
340
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,113
they rocked
each other's world.
341
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,742
They thumped.
342
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:15,785
What?
343
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,453
They had sex!
344
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,247
Carla and Hill had sex!
345
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,790
What?
346
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:23,417
Come on, Sam,
even I got it that time.
347
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,504
Carla?
348
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,426
Are you all happy now?
349
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,637
Your gossiping
and rumor-mongering
350
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:37,848
is resulting in a possible rift
between Carla and Sam.
351
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:39,642
Rather than allow her
the time and space
352
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,811
to open up to Sam
in her own good time,
353
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,647
you all have been behaving
like a gaggle of fishwives.
354
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,399
Hey, you blabbed first, girl.
355
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:52,655
Sammy, I don't know
what to tell you.
356
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,490
I-- I guess...
357
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,617
All the insults
and the venom
358
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,119
and the blood hatred
359
00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,079
just kind of turned us on.
360
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,331
It's the old story.
361
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,043
I guess so.
362
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,254
Oh, Sammy,
I let you down.
363
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,090
I slept with the enemy.
364
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,216
Please forgive me.
365
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:15,219
- Please don't be angry.
- No, I'm not angry.
366
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:17,722
It's just... well,
the way I see it,
367
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:21,684
you let down the whole team.
368
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:25,146
It's like, you know,
bottom of the ninth,
369
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,856
one out, runner on first,
370
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,816
you're up at bat.
371
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:31,652
Coach tells you to bunt.
372
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,863
Team expects you to bunt.
373
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,781
The runner on first
expects you to bunt.
374
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,409
Fans expect you to bunt.
375
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,036
But instead of bunting,
376
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:44,290
you sleep with John Allen Hill!
377
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,666
Oh, God!
378
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,668
Hey, take it easy.
379
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,462
You're supposed
to forgive me.
380
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:53,424
How can I forgive you?
You slept with that evil little dwarf!
381
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,636
Is it my fault the guy
is such a turn-on?
382
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,638
Oh, stop! Oh, yuck, yuck!
Oh, God, stop!
383
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,098
Now, look, I have never
once said anything
384
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,308
about anyone
you have ever slept with.
385
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,143
Oh, right!
What about Diane?
386
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,936
Every morning you'd threaten
387
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,147
to stick a hand grenade in her mouth
and pull the pin!
388
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,315
You hated her!
389
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,776
I disapproved of her.
390
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,653
Come on, Carla,
you hated her.
391
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,071
You hate everyone.
392
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:16,447
That's not fair!
393
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:17,740
Oh, right.
I'm sorry. I forgot.
394
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,201
You don't hate
John Allen Hill!
395
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:21,994
God!
396
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:25,665
That's it! Thanks a lot
for your forgiveness!
397
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,166
I'm outta here.
398
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,460
Ohh.
399
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,879
I can't believe it.
Ohh.
400
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,130
Oh, dear.
401
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:34,298
Sam?
402
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,549
What, Woody?
403
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,134
You're angry, aren't you?
404
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,762
Yeah, I am.
405
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,764
You're hurt.
You're down.
406
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,140
You're confused,
aren't you?
407
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,851
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
408
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,188
Yeah. I was, too,
the first time I made this mistake.
409
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,691
Just remember,
the men's room
410
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,360
is the second door
on the left.
411
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:00,991
Hey, everybody.
412
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,368
Hey, Cliff ie, you're back.
413
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,869
You deliver that letter all right?
414
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,580
It took a little doing,
but I finally delivered it.
415
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,249
It was three hours late.
416
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,000
You know, but it turns out
417
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,086
that the original letter
was three weeks late,
418
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,630
so I was able to shave
a little time off.
419
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,968
Where's Norm, Woods?
420
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:20,010
He's out looking for you.
421
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,262
Oh, boy.
422
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,180
I guess I better go find him.
423
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,267
Hey, look, it's that Cannon episode
424
00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:28,602
where he dresses up as a pimp
to save the runaway.
425
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:34,316
Norm's a big boy.
He can take care of himself.
426
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:39,238
Naked, naked, naked!
427
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,823
Excuse me,
I'm looking for a guy
428
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:43,617
wearing a funny costume,
riding a horse.
429
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,536
Try the place
two doors down.
430
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:46,871
Okay.
431
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,832
Freak.
432
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,042
Naked, naked, naked!
433
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,045
Coming.
434
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,464
Coming.
435
00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:00,426
- Who is it?
- Sam.
436
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,346
Hey.
437
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:05,848
Hey.
438
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,683
How you doing?
439
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,644
Fine, and you?
440
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,438
Fine.
441
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,774
So where are the kids?
442
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,985
How should I know?
It's only 1:30.
443
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:26,035
I came to apologize.
444
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:27,953
I blew up.
You gotta know
445
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,040
I didn't mean any of that stuff.
It's just...
446
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,208
That Hill guy, man,
447
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:33,459
there's something
about him
448
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,545
just makes me act crazy.
449
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,464
Ah, forget it.
450
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,840
I forgive you.
451
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:42,009
I know you didn't
mean that stuff.
452
00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:45,429
I just hope
you can forgive me.
453
00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:47,139
Oh, of course I can.
Come on, you don't think
454
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,016
I'd let that stuff
get in between us here.
455
00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:50,434
You're my best friend.
456
00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:53,896
Oh, Sammy,
you're my best friend, too.
457
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:55,981
Oh, I know what it's like.
458
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:59,109
It was probably just
one of those things, right?
459
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,821
Exactly. It was just
one of those things.
460
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:04,323
Yeah. I've been thinking about this.
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
461
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,699
Tomorrow morning I'm going up
462
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:07,326
and I'm gonna
talk to Hill calmly
463
00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:09,370
and ask him nicely
if maybe
464
00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:11,956
I could use the Dumpster
until I can buy one for myself.
465
00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:14,208
I swear to God
I'll do it bright and early.
466
00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:17,086
Well, not
too early, Saa-am.
467
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:25,219
I have a feeling
I may be in a little late.
468
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:30,349
Okay, so it was just
two of those things.
33527
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