All language subtitles for Cheers.S09E16.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Afternoon, everyone.

Woody, may I have a beer, please?

Oh, just a second, Dr. Crane.

I'm finishing up this article in Newsweek
on genetic coding.

Do you understand it, Woody?

No. thank God I'm almost finished.

It says here in Scientific American

they've isolated the gene
that causes arthritis.

What have you got there, Sam?

Ad for hair conditioning.

Says it makes your scalp
all tingly.

Oh, I'm glad to see that you're all making
an effort to keep yourselves informed.

Yeah, once a week or so,

we do try to keep ourselves up
on current events.

Okay, gentlemen, toss them in.

I got a route to finish.

Last week on Cheers...

This is a proposal!

In three days, I'm going
to be Mrs. Robin Colcord!

I want to toast love,
and I want to toast commitment,

and I want to make a toast
to my whole...

Stupid, stupid life!

Isn't it romantic

Merely to be young--

Shut up
and leave me alone!

Hey, would you
cut me some slack?

I've had
no formal training!

I've made my decision.

Robin is history.

Sam, Sam, we have all night.

We've got tonight

Who needs tomorrow

Let's make it last, babe

Let's find a way

Sam Malone,

I want you to get ready

for the most exciting night of your life.

I hear singing
and there's no one there

I smell blossoms
but the trees are bare

All day long,
I seem to walk on air

I wonder why...

Lilith. Lilith, please get him off
the damn karaoke machine.

He's been on there
for three days.

Just make him stop.

You know him better than anybody else.
There's got to be something you can do.

I can only think of one thing,
but it's pretty drastic.

Anything.

I wonder why

I wonder why

You don't need analyzing

It is not so surprising

That you feel
very strange but nice...

Look who thinks she's Eydie Gormé.

Well, she's got a nice
set of pipes

for a shrink, huh?

Hey, guys, listen up for a sec, will you?

Because I've been there
once or twice

Hey, Lilith.

Lilith. Lilith, cut it, please.

Put your head
on my shoulder

Aw, Sam, come on.

We were enjoying that.

Listen, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Always leave them
wanting more.

Guys, listen up for
a second, will you, please?

When Rebecca comes in,
she's probably not gonna be feeling too good,

so just take it easy
on her, all right?

What's the problem, Sam?

She called off
the whole wedding.

- Get out.
- No, it's true.

I went over there last night,
and I tell you, she was a real mess,

but she was clear about one thing,

she does not love the guy,

and there's no way she's going
to marry him.

Good morning, everyone.

Jonathan, thank God you're here.

I'm in such a rush.

Now, I don't have any time for
those curlers,

so you're going to have to do
your trick with the blow dryer.

Yeah, Sam. She's in agony.

Ordinarily, Sam,
people don't deal with depression

by putting on a wedding dress
and acting giddy.

Except maybe Clavin.

Men don't get giddy.

Yeah, right.

This is crazy.
I got to go find out what's happening.

In back on my head
or up forward like this,

whichever way we decide.

Hi, Sam.

What are you doing?

I know, I know.

I said that I would never
have a traditional wedding,

but, you know, deep down inside,

doesn't every girl want
to get married in white?

What about all that stuff
you said last night?

What stuff?
I wasn't even here last night.

I know you weren't here last night.
You were at your apartment.

I was there with you, remember?

Oh, don't be silly, Sam.
I wouldn't let anybody in that apartment.

It's a mess.

Oh, my God. She doesn't...
You don't remember, do you?

Excuse us. We're working here.

Dear, I'll need an extension
cord for the dryer.

Yo, pal. Listen, I don't care what
you're doing here.

This happens to be the most important
thing that...

You use this gel?

I tried this. It just dries my hair out.

Are you touching it
during the critical drying stage?

What do you think I am, a rookie?

You guys, I have
my new wedding dress.

Now all I need is something old,
something borrowed, and something blue.

How about Norm's liver?

I'm almost finished with it.

Uh, Rebecca,
I'm probably way out of line here,

but I want you to know
what a great honor it would be for me

To sing at your wedding.

Okay.

Really? Cool.

Jonathan, I found
the extension cord.

We'll finish down at City Hall.

Now, wait a minute.
We were in your apartment together.

Don't you remember?
You came on to me!

You said that you couldn't possibly
marry Robin

because in your entire life
you never had anyone as exciting as me.

My. Someone's full of himself
on my wedding day.

Well, Sam, don't just stand there.

Yeah, you're right.
I got to find something to jog her memory.

No, no. You got to help me
get this machine into the car.

I've got a gig.

Test, testing.

One, two.

A-one, two, three, four.

We're gonna cook tonight.

Hello, Doc.

Yeah, boy, City Hall.

A civil servant's home away from home.

Hey, you know, whenever the job
gets me down, Norm,

I just come around here
and roam the halls.

Hey, pal.

I thought we told you never
to come back here.

How many times
have we got to throw you out?

Look, I'm with the wedding.

Is that true, sir?

Yes, yeah. Yeah, it is.

But, uh...

Stick around.

Oh, great. I'm not too late.

Where's Rebecca?

She's in there. What's all this junk?

Oh, this is just
some of her stuff.

I broke into her apartment.

And you passed up
her stereo equipment for this?

Stay a bartender, Sam.

No, no, no.
I'm just hoping when she sees this,

you know, smells the pizza,

it'll help bring back her memory
about last night.

Hey, honey? Rebecca?

- Hi.
- Sam, isn't that mine?

Yeah, you bet it is.
open the pizza box.

Look at that, huh?

Some pizza with Canadian bacon
and pineapple.

And look, your robe here

with Canadian bacon and pineapple.

Huh?

Does this all remind you
of something?

Oh, God! Oh, God!
I just remembered!

Oh, yes!
Oh, God. Thank you.

I thought I was going crazy.

Yes, I remembered
I left my garter in my car.

Would you get it for me, please?

Sure, but--

I don't know why people
get so nutty during weddings.

Compared to some cultures,
we got it easy.

Take the Wanabis
of Central Africa.

Now there's a ceremony.

See, they get the lovebirds

and smear them with
a mixture of honey and sweet oil.

Then it's off to the ant hill.

This man's bothering me.

We're talking...

Why don't you
come with me, pal?

We're going to that little room
downstairs?

Yes, yes.

Hey, Rebecca,
this is...

Wow. Nice hair.

I brought you some samples
I had in the car.

Yeah, thanks.

Give us a yoo-hoo if you like them.

- Honey. Honey--
- Sam, where's my garter?

I sent Woody after it.
Listen, sweetheart,

we've been friends
for a long time, right?

Right.

Well, I hope you understand
that what I'm doing

I'm doing for you.
I'm doing it out of our friendship

over the last four years.

I'm doing it because I care.

Okay, Sam, go ahead.

Snap out of it, will you?

Let the fog lift here!

You said that you didn't love the guy!

What the hell are you doing?

Uh, Miss Howe?

I couldn't
find your garter in your car,

but I did find
these jumper cables.

Woody, what am I going
to do with these?

They may not look so great,
but they'll probably hold up your stockings.

Of course, they might leave a mark.

Great. And what am I supposed to do
after the ceremony,

throw a tire iron to the bridesmaids?

All right. I'll be right back.

Oh, hell, I give up.

You know, do what you want,
marry Robin.

I hope you'll be very happy

waking up every morning to,
"Good morning, Rebecca."

Good morning, Rebecca.

Darling, I know it's bad luck
to see the bride before the wedding,

but, well, I've lost my fortune,
I've been to prison.

What more could happen to me?

You know, I can't keep this
a secret any longer.

Do you remember the day
we first made love

and I surprised you by
flying in Bill Medley

of The Righteous Brothers
to sing for you?

Of course I do.
That was a wonderful present, Robin.

Well, I thought it would be sweet

if I could find some
way to relive that memory

on our wedding day,

now that I'm finally unchained.

Oh, my love

My darlin'

I've hungered for...

My God! It's the other Righteous Brother!

...lonely time

Bobby Hatfield.

Oh, no, no, to me, he'll always
be the other Righteous Brother.

So slowly

I'm ready to start.

And time...

Who's this bozo?

I'm Bobby Hatfield.

Yes, Robin gave him to me
as a present.

He's going to sing at my wedding!
Isn't that wonderful?

So he's in, and I'm out.

Well, fine.

Instead of my personal gift
of song,

I'll just get you a set
of steak knives

so you can cut out
my heart again.

Young man, could you make sure
everyone gets seated?

Yes, father.

I'm not a priest.

I'm a government official.

Oh. I'm sorry, Your Honor.

No, son. That would be a judge.

I'm a justice of the peace.

Then what should I call you?

You can call me Ed.

Well, it looks like I won't be
singing after all.

But Rebecca has graciously invited me

to push the buttons
for Mr. Bobby Hatfield.

Let's see.
What number is "Unchained Melody"?

U-14.

Yes, master.

Oh, my love

My darling

That's a lovely song.

That's because we're
close to the speaker.

Hunger for your touch

Every time I hear that song,

it reminds me
of the first time we saw Ghost.

Hey, Lilith.

Songs do make you
remember things, right?

Oh, most definitely.

Music is perhaps
one of the most evocative

of the associative stimuli.

Some fascinating data gathering

was done in 1957 in Brussels, when the--

They always leave
when I get to the interesting part.

It's okay. It's her other favorite song.

We got tonight

She sang it to me just last night.

Who needs tomorrow

Let's make it last, babe

Let's find a way

I know I've heard
this song before.

Turn out the light

I just can't remember when.

Come on and hold my hand

It seems like it was...

We got tonight...

Oh, God.

Why don't you stay

Why don't you stay

Turn out the light

Rebecca, this is insanity.

Open the door.

Is she ready to go on
with the ceremony?

We're on a very tight
schedule here.

I have fishing licenses
to pass out.

Well, there's got to be another key
someplace, Ed.

Second floor. Security.

You know, I just don't
understand this.

She's always
seemed so stable before.

Did you two ever really talk?

Hey, guys, what's going on?
Did I miss much?

No, not much.

Looks like the wedding
might be off.

What are you talking about?
After I spent all that time

tying tin cans to the back of Robin's car,

spraying it with shaving cream,

tying toilet paper to it.

Robin doesn't have a car.

It just irritates me.

I mean, I was all ready
to sing at this wedding,

and then you walk in the door.

Naturally,
you're the better singer,

you're a professional,

but I'd be willing to bet that
I'm a better psychiatrist than you are.

Really? How long have you felt this way?

Then again, I could be wrong.

Boy, I could sure go
for a taste of this cake.

We really don't need this
congratulations anymore, do we?

Not if they're not getting married.

We've really kind of made a mess
of the top part here.

Well, let's just take out
the whole layer.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Are you ready to go on
with the ceremony?

No, not yet.
I need to work a few things out.

I need somebody to talk to.

Anybody.

I really need some help.

Not Paul!

I can't help someone who
doesn't want to be helped.

Hey, honey.

I need time to think.

I have to talk to
somebody about this.

I need to talk to somebody

so they can help me figure out
what my problem is.

Did you try
talking to Paul?

No, I did not talk to Paul.

He's always helped me.

He's got a super outlook on life.

You know, when I heard
that song starting to play,

suddenly it all
came back to me.

Everything that I said last night.

Oh, God, Sam, why is this
happening to me?

Because you
don't love him.

I know. I did love him.

Maybe you loved him
when he was rich,

but that's different now.

What? What are you saying?

Are you saying
that I only cared about Robin

when he had money?

Well, it's the truth, isn't it?

How dare you tell me that
I only loved him for his money.

I am not that shallow.

I'm not that superficial.

I am not that creepy.

You think I only
loved him for his money.

Well, you are wrong, buster,

and I'm going to prove it!

Robin, Ed, Bobby.

Hit it!

Oh, my love

Cliff, let's try to put
the cake back together.

Forget the cake.

How are we going to get
these presents rewrapped?

I hunger for your touch

A long

Lonely time

Under the bylaws of the Massachusetts
Fish and Game Commission...

Oops. Sorry.

That's all right, Ed.

We've, um,
we've prepared our own vows.

Go ahead.

Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely
and more temperate.

Rough winds do shake
the darling buds of may

and summer's lease
hath all too short a stay.

Sometime too hot the
eye of heaven doth shine

and often is his
gold complexion dimmed,

and every fair
from fair sometimes declines

by chance on nature's
changing course untrailed.

But thy eternal summer
shall not fade

nor lose possession
of that fair thou owest

nor shall death brag thou wondrous
in his shade

when in eternal lines
to time thou owest.

As long as men can breathe

or eyes can see,

so long lives this,
and this gives life to thee.

Rebecca.

I only loved you
for your money.

I'm hateful.

I am the most awful person
that I've ever met in my life.

I don't deserve to live.

What am I going to do?

You could throw yourself
into the Charles.

I don't think so.

How 'bout heaving yourself
off the prudential building?

That's a 52-story drop.

You hit the pavement,
they'll be scraping you up with a spatula.

Just like they do
in the cartoons.

You know, Paul was right.

You can't help somebody
who doesn't want to be helped.

Aw, honey.

Sweetheart...

I know it's been
a hell of a day for you,

and we all really
feel bad for you,

but there's just one more thing.

What?

Well, it's kind of
a good news-bad news thing.

What's the bad news?

Well, the bad news
is Robin's outside,

and he wants to talk to you.

Oh, God.

What's the good news?

I lied about the good news.

Will you see him?

Hey, will you look at that?

Your hair's still
retained its bounce.

I mean, that's something, isn't it?

Rebecca,

what's going on?

Have I done something wrong?

Oh, no, Robin. It's not you.

It's me.

I don't understand.

Oh, I can't say this
to your face.

Please turn around.

Oh, gee, you've got a cute butt.

Robin, I can't say this to your butt.
Turn around again.

I don't love you, Robin.

When did this happen?

Well...

Near as I can figure,

about the time they sealed
your safe deposit box.

But I thought you were the one
who didn't care about my money.

I thought you were
the one who was going to stand by me.

I thought... I was your sweet baby.

No. You was my rich baby.

All right. So you loved me for my money.

Well, what if I were to tell you

that I had $6 million stashed away
in a money belt before my arrest?

Now, would that
make any difference?

No.

No, it wouldn't.

I see.

What's that?

$6 Million.

Farewell, Rebecca.

Honey, I hope you don't mind,
but I was listening outside.

I can't believe
you turned down all that cash.

You're changing, honey.
That was the bravest thing I've ever seen you do.

I thought he
was bluffing, Sam!

Let me--

No! No! No!