All language subtitles for Cheers.S09E01.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Man, how about all that stuff
that's going on over at Cheers?

- What's that?
- You don't know about that?

Well, Rebecca, the babe
who runs the place,

you know, she's been dating
Robin Colcord, the multimillionaire.

Well, he tried to pull
a hostile takeover of her corporation.

She was implicated in the deal.
So, the corporation dumped her.

Guess who ended up owning Cheers?

- Sam Malone.
- You're kidding.

Wait. You haven't heard
the best part.

Now, Colcord skipped the country.

So, Rebecca's ended up
having to take a waitress job...

...at Cheers.

Wow! Burt, where do you get
this stuff, anyway?

I got my sources.

Another round on the house,
Mr. Peterson?

Thank you very much.

Is Rebecca in her office?

I thought you ditched her
and skipped the country.

I did, but I've come back.

I finally realized
what Rebecca means to me.

What use is my money
or my freedom

if I don't have the woman I love?

Rebecca!

I'm back!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Rebecca, what is
going on in here?

Robin, I can explain.

Wait a minute.

My button's caught in your zipper.

Robin, I can't explain.

It's my own fault.

For all you knew,
I was never coming back again.

I left the way clear
for something like this to happen.

But Robin, nothing did happen.

- Nothing?
- No, nothing.

Okay. Something almost happened,
but I would never betray you.

I love you.

We didn't do anything,

did we, Sam?

Yeah.

What she said.

Hey, jailbird,
your lawyer's on the phone.

Your lawyer?

Yes. I've made arrangements
to turn myself in.

Oh, Robin.

I'll wait for you.

I won't have any money
when I come out.

That doesn't matter.
I'll help you rebuild your fortune.

Yeah. Just look at what
she's done with this bar.

Oh, shut up.

Boy, just because you lose
a few billion bucks

is no reason to cop a 'tude.

I guess I should go see
if Robin needs any help.

- Sure.
- Sam.

Thank you for lying about...

...you know.

Yeah. It's okay.

Thank you for...

...you know.

I just think
it's the right thing to do,

the lying, I mean, not the...

...you know.

Well, that, too.

But anyway,

well, see you.

See you.

Your button.

Yeah. Thank you.

Well, my attorney's spoken
to the prosecutor, and I...

...I have to go.

Can't we at least
wait till morning?

No, my attorney says
that if I turn myself in now,

I can avoid a media circus.

Do you have any idea
what these sleazy tabloids

would pay for a picture
of Robin Colcord, the fugitive?

Okay.

Let's try another one, only this time,
look a little bit more guilty.

Guilty?

What do you guys think, huh?

- I'm finished.
- With what, Sam?

With putting my old stuff
back on the wall.

- It was gone?
- Yeah, it was gone.

Three years gone, man.

Rebecca had her stuff up there.

Are you so taken
with your own lives

you don't notice the changes
going on around here?

Sammy, we notice
the important things, all right?

By the way, is Diane
coming in today?

Come on. Give this man a drink.

Sammy, I just... I just realized.

I forgot to call Ma
and tell her the good news.

You know how she loves you.
Boy, she's gonna be tickled pink

when she hears
you got the bar back.

Hello, Ma?

Guess who the new owner
of Cheers is.

No, it's not me. It's Sam.

Well, I'm still a mailman, Ma.

Well, I know you had
high hopes for me, Ma,

but I couldn't finish college,
and that's all there is to it!

She was thrilled.

Hey, Woody, it says here

you and Carla haven't had
a raise for over two years.

That's right, Sam.

I guess that's why
I've been so darn moody lately.

Well, that's one of the things
that are going to change around here.

Starting tomorrow,
you guys get a $20 a week raise.

Wow! Thanks, Sam.

Another thing here, while I'm at it,
to celebrate the new management,

I am wiping out
everybody's bar tab.

Sam Malone,

I am not a man
for mushy sentiment,

but I want you
to know something.

If you ever need a liver donor,
I've got one like yea big.

Woody.

Round of drinks
on the house for everybody.

All right.

All right! Great!

- Hi, Sam.
- Oh... hi.

Didn't expect to see you
waitressing here today

with your billionaire
boyfriend back in town.

Well, it's only temporary
until I find a good job.

You know what they say,

better a temporary dead end
stupid job than no job at all.

Ah, just what every employer
wants to hear.

If you excuse me, I'm going
to take these plants of yours

out to the woods
and give them their freedom.

So, what's new, Miss Howe?

Well, I just got back
from visiting Robin in jail.

They're not going
to let him out on bail

since he jumped bond earlier.

And they're going
to charge him a huge penalty

even if he pleads guilty.

I don't think they're going to give
that poor guy any breaks at all.

I got a raise.

You deserve it, Woody.

I deserved it two years ago.

Who was the boss then?
Let me think.

Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.

Boy, of all days

for my kids to handcuff me
to the water heater.

Why? What's the big deal about today?

Didn't Sam tell you what happened
in the office last night?

No, what?

He and Rebecca were
in there a might long time,

and that place was racked.

He didn't mention a thing.

Really? Maybe he's saving
all the dirty details for me.

He's such a gentleman.

Well, fellas, that's the bell announcing
Clavin's mid morning brain twister.

Oh? You going to get up
and try to walk again?

Is this going to be
along the same lines

as yesterday's little pearl?

If the Lennon Sisters,
the Maguire Sisters,

and the Andrews Sisters
all came to a four-way stop,

which would have
the right of way?

Oh, no, no, no.

This one is based
in historical fact.

Now, listen up.

How would the Civil War have changed

if Lincoln had had octopus tentacles
instead of a beard?

For God's sake, Cliff!

There is no practical answer
to that question.

Now, wait, wait, wait.

We could assume
the Gettysburg Address

would have been written
on the back of eight envelopes.

Very good. Very good answer, Normie.

Also he could have disarmed
John Wilkes Booth

and still applauded the play.

Now, in a related query,

what if Herbert Hoover was able
to expand his face like a blowfish?

What were you guys talking about?

Former presidents
with fish parts in their faces.

Come on. You really expect me
to believe you were talking

- about something that stupid?
- Where have you been all these years?

Hello!

I know what you were doing.

You were trying
to cover up the fact

that you were gossiping about me.
And as soon as I turn my back

you will go on about Sam
and I in that office last night.

Didn't I tell you?
I knew something happened.

Whoa, guys, you think Sammy
finally bagged Rebecca?

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Oh, hey, sorry,
Rebecca, I'm sorry.

This is just guy talk. You know?

Carla, you think
he finally bagged Rebecca?

Yeah!

There he is.
Why don't we ask him?

Sammy, last night...
you, the Howitzer, in the office.

Yeah. Yeah. Come on, Sam.

Come on, eh?

Guys, guys, that's tacky.

Sam, we know that.
It says it above the door. Come on.

All right. if you must know...

...nothing happened. End of story.

I guess nothing did happen.

I guess not.

Sammy would never withhold
that information.

No, he lives to talk
about that stuff.

- We live to hear about it.
- Yep.

Eh, it's a symbiotic relationship,
much like that between the shark

and the tiny pilot fish that
constantly swims around its mouth

picking out little bits of meat.

I suppose you're now going to tell me

that if George Washington
had had a pilot fish,

he wouldn't have needed
wooden dentures.

Now you're getting
up to speed, Dr. Crane.

Yeah, yeah.

And then he could have
swum across the Delaware

to defeat the Hessians.

Oh, Dr. Crane, try to understand.

It's only the president's face
that changes.

It's not like he grew fins or something.

- Sam.
- Oh, hi.

I... wanted to thank you
for your discretion.

What do you mean?

Well, not telling Robin
about us was one thing,

but not telling
all those goons out there,

I know that was a real sacrifice.

- No, no big deal.
- Yes, it is.

I know how much you love
to crow to all your friends

about your great romantic encounters.

Rebecca, believe me,
it was nothing.

Wait. Not telling them was nothing,

or the great
romantic encounter was nothing?

What? Oh, the not
telling them, of course.

No, the romantic stuff was great.

Wasn't it? You know, I mean,

I don't mean to be disloyal
to Robin or anything, but...

...it was one of the most
powerful things

that's ever happened
to me in my life.

Really? You need
to get out more, hon.

What?

Well, you mean you didn't like it?

No, I said I did, didn't I?

No, it was great. I like...
I really, really liked it a lot.

But what?

I...

I don't know. It's like...

Maybe I was looking forward to it
too much, you know?

Like when you're really excited
about a new movie or something?

Like The Bad News Bears.
Remember that?

For weeks, people kept
coming up and telling me

what a great movie it was,
but when I finally went to see it...

So, it wasn't that great?

No, it was just Tatum O'Neal
throwing a ball around.

Not that.

Oh, you mean us?

I told you, I...
really, it was fine, honey.

Fine? But it was a letdown,
like The Bad News Bears.

No! It was...

...much better
than The Bad News Bears.

Maybe I was a little off.

I don't... You know?
I knew that I'd been depressed,

and I'd been crying
a couple of days, and...

- Wait a minute.
- What?

I know what you're doing.

You are trying to convince me
that I wasn't good in bed

so I will go to bed with you again
to prove how good I can be.

- I swear to you, Rebecca...
- No! Wait a minute.

We did it once, and that's all
we're gonna do it.

And no matter how much
we might want it,

and no matter how great
it was for both of us,

- we're never doing it again.
- Fine.

- I mean it. Never again.
- Gotcha.

You should listen to me.
There is no more.

I hear you, and I agree with you.

It was a terrific moment
that you and I had together,

but the truth is, you know,
I can see that you love Robin

and Robin loves you,
so truthfully, I'm... liberated.

I feel... I feel good.

I just hope we can,
you know, remain friends.

Oh, get your mind
out of your pants.

Wait, wait, wait.
Come back here.

Listen, I wasn't trying
to do anything there.

Oh, stop caressing me!

I have had it with this constant
sexual harassment.

I am quitting this job,
and I'm never coming back here.

Me, too, man.

20 lousy bucks after two years.

Man, I'm out of here.
Wait up, Miss Howe.

Woody! Woody.

That was a personal thing
between me and Rebecca.

It had nothing to do
with your raise.

- Still, 20 lousy bucks.
- All right. Fine.

25. Now, let's get back to work.

- Come on.
- Hey. Keep your hands off me.

Wait, wait, wait
a minute, Sammy, look.

Rebecca just said
she was leaving here

and never coming back.

Yeah, that's right.

Oh, man, this is terrible.

What?

Sammy finally struck out for real.

What are you talking about here?

We all knew
it was taking a long time,

but we thought that eventually

you two would be doing
the horizontal hokey-pokey.

But I guess that's it, huh?
Lower the flag.

End of an era.

First the communist block crumbles,
and now Sammy's studhood.

Yep. Guess that's it.

Wait. What...

No, it's not.

Come here. Come on. All of you.

I want you to step
in the office here,

and I'll show you where we...

...where we decided
to put up some shelves.

You know, tall ones.

It'll be, you know, be great for books
and some of my videotapes and...

It'll be nice.

Breaks your heart, doesn't it?

What I can't figure out is

why I don't want
to tell any of my friends.

No, that's not true.
I do want to, but, you know, I can't.

Why? That's...

You know, maybe it was
such a letdown,

that I didn't feel like
bragging about it.

Or maybe it was not a letdown,

and I was just ticked
that she dumped me

as soon as her boyfriend walked in.

Or maybe she's right and I'm just
trying to get her in the sack again.

I don't know. God! I just... I...

I'm just a simple guy trying to deal
with this complex problem.

Or maybe I'm a complex guy
trying to deal with a simple problem.

I don't know.

What do you think, Father?

Am I to understand
that you had relations

with a woman
who is not your wife?

Yes, that's...

That's correct, Father.
What do I need to do?

Say three Hail Marys,

four Our Fathers,
and nine rosaries.

Thank you, Father.

Nine rosaries. That's a lot.

We are cracking down.

You mean that I have to do that
for each one of these beads?

Hey, it's not a religion for wusses.

You know, Sam,

we all feel kind of bad
about what you're going through

and as much as we live vicariously
through you when you score,

we also feel vicarious pain
when you strike out.

So, what's the deal?

Are you gonna snap
out of this by the weekend,

or do we have to go rent
a Matt Helm movie?

I'm fine. Can we just drop
this subject, please?

Sam, is something troubling you?

I mean, do you need
to talk to someone?

Yeah, as a matter of fact,
I do need to talk to someone.

I need to talk to everybody here.

I don't know why it's taken me
so long to get this out here,

but last night, in that office,
Rebecca Howe and I had...

...a disagreement

about those shelves
that I was telling you about.

But, you know,
I'm gonna put 'em up anyway.

You know, what the heck?

They'll be good
for knickknacks and everything.

I think it will look fine.

Matt Helm never had to build shelves.

- Hi, Sam.
- Hi.

I didn't expect to see you here.

I just came back
for my final paycheck,

and there seems to be some mistake.
It's only for $16.

Oh, darn those computers.

How could I make
a mistake like that?

It's supposed to be for 6.00.
You got a 10 on you?

This isn't about a silly check.

Give me the check.

This is about us.

What about us?

Sam, we have been friends
for too long to let it end this way.

And I just came back to say

that I'm sorry
I ran out earlier in a huff.

And that I knew
you weren't coming on to me.

And that when you said
I wasn't good,

that it wasn't just some trick
to get me back into bed.

It was because
you were being honest.

Because I am a lousy lover.

- No, sweetheart, you're not lousy.
- No, Sam. It's all right.

It's not like
I haven't heard it before.

I have to learn
to accept it, you know?

Some people are bad at math,

- some people can't skip.
- No, no.

You're a fantastic lover.

I am a dud, and I know it.

Robin just didn't realize it
because he's English.

Listen, I wouldn't say
you were good if you weren't.

Maybe I just, you know,
wasn't too enthusiastic this morning

because my feelings were hurt.

I mean, the minute he comes in here,
you act as if nothing happened.

No, no, Sam, that doesn't wash.
You've been after me for three years.

And you finally got me.

I mean, if I was even adequate,

I know that you would've run out there
and told every bozo in the bar.

You don't think I wasn't dying to do that?
It was making me crazy.

It's just that I thought
I'd be betraying our friendship.

I never really had a friend before.

You have lots of friends.

No, no. I've never "had"
a friend before.

It's weird. I don't know
how to behave.

I don't...

So you really, really did this
out of respect for our friendship?

Sort of like you were being noble?

I... yeah, I guess so. I guess so.

And I wasn't lousy?

No, you were fantastic!

Look, you want me
to prove it to you,

I'll go out there and tell them
that we made love.

No, no, no, Sam, no.

It's enough just knowing
you're willing to do that.

- No, I think you need more.
- No!

No, no, no.

No, Sam, don't give up your nobility.

Aw, come on.

Let a noble guy
have some fun here.

What?

Oh! I get it. You want to tell.

Yeah, it's a guy thing, you know?
At least let me tell Carla.

- Okay, go ahead.
- Really?

Yes, yes. You've done
a lot for me. It's fine.

This friendship stuff
is going to be fantastic.

Yes.

Hey, guys, listen up here.

Last night...

...Rebecca and I made love,
and she was fabulous.

Well...

This has got to be
the saddest day of my life.

What?

Sammy, you never had
to resort to lying before.

What, you don't believe me, here?

First of all,

why would you wait
a whole day to tell us?

And second of all...

...she was fabulous?

Sammy...

Come on, let's go look
at those shelves.

No, no, really. I was being noble.

No, really, I was fabulous.