All language subtitles for Cheers.S07E13.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Oh, here you go, Cliffy.
How about getting your mom

a pair of these soothing
gel-filled insoles and odor eliminators?

It's only her birthday.
It's not Christmas.

How about one of these Lucite snack trays
that plays the theme from Cats?

Valentine's Day, 1963.

Back then, it played Exodus.

Hummingbird feeder?

Come on, you guys are just being
silly now, all right?

Well, then, Cliff, I'm afraid you're
going to have to spend

a little more than $1.99
for your mom's gift.

Ah, you're right, Normy.
You only turn 70 once.

Speaking as a mom,
you know, when my kids give me gifts,

the ones that always
mean the most to me

are the ones they
make themselves.

For instance,
look at this little key chain here.

Anthony made this for me the first year
he went away to camp.

Carried it with me ever since.

I think it might be the most precious
thing I own.

I'll, uh, give you three bucks for it.

Sam, you're working
a big party the 26th at Mr. Gaines'.

Another big party?
How come you always get roped

into running these things?

I'm not running this.
I'm just delivering the message.

Yes, I will be attending the party,
but as an honored guest.

An honored guest who happens to show up
a couple of hours early

and leave a couple of hours late.

And I will do as any other
good guest will,

help clean up and
maybe park a few cars.

So, what's the shindig
for this time?

Oh, it's one of those

"Welcome back from your fabulous
all-expense-paid trip to Europe,

you sniveling snot rat

of a Vice President's daughter's"
tennis brunch.

Gee, I've never
been to one of those.

Good.

You're tending bar.
There's the address.

I'll see you at 10:00
Sunday morning.

She played right into my hands.

If I do say so myself,
I do throw a lovely party.

Oh, Mr. Gaines,
I don't believe I've been introduced

to the guest of honor,
your lovely daughter.

Oh, Kelly would
love to meet you.

Oh, she's busy.

Jack Daniels, neat.

Coming right up, sir.

Say, aren't you Sam Malone?

Didn't you used to be a pitcher?

Yep, that's me.

Now you're doing this?

Well, nothing wrong
with tending bar.

It's good, honest work.

Here's a little something for you.

Those rich snobs, man.

They think they can look down
their noses at you

and then make everything better
by slipping you a measly... 50 bucks!

Two white wines, please.

Yes, sir. Coming right up here.

You know, Woody, I'll tell you,

it's a long way from pitching in
the major leagues

to slinging drinks.

What am I gonna do,
you know?

I mean, life dealt me
this lousy hand.

I guess, I'm... just going to have
to play it out, huh?

I'm sorry, sir.

Uh, there are your drinks.

Thank you.

Oh... bless you. Bless you.

I'm definitely on to something.

Excuse me, bartender.

A little more champagne?

Sure.

- Maybe I'll get a tip, too, Sam.
- Hey, listen.

Listen, this whining
for dollars routine's mine.

Anyway, I'll be summering in DC,
God help me.

Dad's favored me with the option

of going up on the hill to page
or being a clerk.

So, uh,
what do you think?

Well, excuse me for interrupting,
but I'd go with the clerk job.

I had a blast the summer I clerked
at the Piggly Wiggly.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sure you did,

but I was talking
about being a legal clerk.

Oh, this was all
on the up and up.

Are you always this obtuse?

The cummerbund
makes my waist look thick.

Yeah.

Yeah, "thick".
That's the word I was searching for.

Write it on your hand.
You'll never forget it.

He's very funny.

Well, here's to you,
Malone, and...

I wish you lots of luck
on that triple bypass.

Thank you.
Bless your heart.

You have a heart problem, Sam?

Yeah. It feels like there's something
pressing on it.

Maybe like... all this cash.

Excuse me, bartender.

Can I give you a little tip?

Looking good, Sam.

Sure.

For the rest of the afternoon,
just keep your mouth shut.

Excuse me?

You're here to work,
not to chitchat with the guests.

You think just because you're rich
you can boss people around?

We got guys like you back in Hanover.
You know what we call them?

- What?
- "Sir."

But after we say it,

we roll our eyes.

You know, kid, you're really
starting to annoy me.

I think I'm going to teach you
some manners. Let's step outside.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry,
all right?

I was out of line.
I don't want to fight.

You're not as stupid
as you look.

Now I want to fight.

What's going on here, man?

This guy just said I wasn't as stupid
as I look, Sam.

Just... come here, come here. Listen.

Stop it. I mean it, really.

Listen, before you go out there,
let me just say a couple of things here.

Now, I've been a bartender
for quite a few years,

and I've broken up
a lot of fights in my day,

and I'll tell you,
no matter who's involved,

whether they're rich guys
or poor guys,

tall guys or short guys,

fat guys, skinny guys,

guys with speech impediments...

What's your point?

Well, the point is that
usually by this point in the story,

the guys would forget
what they're angry about,

and they'd kind of wander away.

Yeah, well, I... I guess this isn't
the right time or place.

Yeah. You're right.

All right. There you go.
Very good, very good.

Now, why don't you, uh, just go back to
the bar here, Woody?

Will you tell me
the rest of the story later, Sam?

Well, maybe we'll,
uh, we'll meet again

when your daddy isn't around.

I don't need him to protect me.

I'll meet you anywhere, anytime.

You can find me at Cheers.

I'll see you there tomorrow.

I'll be there with bells on.

That's just an expression.

Excuse me, please.

Excuse me.

- Yeah.
- Sam, I heard what you've been doing.

Going around giving everyone
a hard-luck story

so they'll give you big tips.

I find that completely unprofessional,
and I will not condone it.

I'm gonna dock you a day's pay.

Do you hear that?

Woody, cognac for all my friends.

We're celebrating
this year's recipient

of the Fisk Foundation grant.

All right. I knew you could do it, buddy.
What the hell is it?

It's a very prestigious
and lucrative fellowship

that will enable me, finally,

after all these years,
to complete my treatise.

"Man's Need to Work:

A Never-ending Drive to Build,
Create, and Achieve."

It must feel pretty good.

Oh, you bet.

If I can cop one more fat grant,
it's loaf city.

The only thing missing now
is a fine cigar.

Well, allow me.

Carla, three of
your finest Tampas, please.

You got it, gentlemen.

Look at these beauties.

That'll be 45 cents.

Carla, he asked for a cigar,

not this flammable bratwurst.

Come on, Frase.
These are pretty tasty.

Yeah, and they outlast the others
by what, a good eight or nine hours?

Cliffy, make a smoke ring
go around my head the way you do.

Okay, Boyd. I'm here.

Yeah. So am I.

Of course, I'm always here,
so it's no big deal.

You know, I wouldn't feel right
beating you senseless

unless I warn you in advance
I was on the boxing team at Princeton.

Yeah? Well, while you're
beating me senseless, keep this in mind,

I was first alternate
on the Hanover High boxing squad.

What is that supposed to mean?

That means if anybody got sick or hurt,
I'd be the one--

No.

I mean, is that supposed
to make you a tough guy?

Tough enough.

Yeah, well, the proof
is in the pudding.

All right, that does it.

Nobody says that to me.

Who wants to see
a rich boy get his butt whooped?

Yeah!

Woody! Woody! Woody!

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
I can't leave here.

Look, if you're going
to fight, go fight in the back.

But remember, you got
to bus your own blood.

Let's go.

Woody! Woody! Woody!

Woody! Woody! Woody...

Rich guy! Rich guy! Rich guy!

Rich guy! Rich guy! Rich guy!

Did I get struck by lightning?

No, Woody.

Oh, right. I guess
that only happens once in your life.

He's okay.

Gee, I hate for you guys
to see me like this,

all dopey and muddle-headed.

Yeah. We barely recognized you.

We Boyds don't appreciate
having our faces caved in.

- Yeah?
- I'm going to get that guy.

- Calm down, Woody.
- Woody.

Isn't it enough that you left
little bits of face in his pinkie ring?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And your nose really messed up
his shoeshine when you fell.

I'm going to get that guy.
I'm going to get him good.

Aw, come on, Woody.
How can you get him, man?

He's rich, he's smart,
he's in good shape, he's tough,

hangs out with a better class of people.

- Hey.
- Hey.

You know what I'm
talking about, guys.

- Oh. Yeah.
- Oh. Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hey.

How could I get that guy?

He must have some weak spot.

Oh, hi. I hope I'm not too late.

I heard my boyfriend was coming here
to fight that nice bartender.

Fight? I've had sneezes
that lasted longer.

Oh, I am so sorry Nash did this.

He has such a ridiculous temper.

If there's anything I can do, please,

don't hesitate to ask.

Are your hands just naturally this soft,
or you use a special lotion?

Lotion, but you can't
buy it in the States.

Smells good, too.

No, it's fragrance free.
You smell my hair.

I rinse it in an essence
of Belgian wildflowers.

Do they make a boy's version?

I'll have my personal shopper check
and send you a case.

I feel just terrible
about what Nash did.

It'd be a shame if you got a scar
on that cute face.

I'll be okay.

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

Now, how could I get
that Nash guy?

Woody, Woody, I think
it's kind of obvious,

if you know what I mean.

Beat up his girlfriend?

I don't think you could.

Come on.

Now, think with me here. Think.

Now, have you met anybody recently
kind of cute, you know?

Somebody who smells good

and has hair down to here?

I'm interested in what you're saying, Sam,
but I just had a thought.

If I went out with that girl,
I could make Nash real jealous.

Woody! Woody! Woody!

I'm back!

This has been a fabulous day.

As I walked through the halls
of headquarters,

I received nothing but kudos
for my fantastic party yesterday.

Mr. Gaines said I displayed leadership,
imagination, and class.

I am it.

That's great, Miss Howe.

Listen, uh, do you think it'd be okay
if I took an hour off?

Of course, Woody.
Take two. You deserve it.

Oh, great. I'm going
to go ask your boss

for permission to date
his daughter, okay?

Okay.

No!

"And so, Mr. Gaines,

please allow me to stress again
in the strongest way possible

that my being here in no way reflects
upon Miss Rebecca Howe

or her chance for advancement
in your corporation."

I'll take that under advisement.

Now if you'll please get on
with your business?

Yes, sir.

My business is...

that I'd like permission
to date your daughter Kelly.

I think you'll find that I'm generous,
hard-working,

friendly, cheerful, and honest.

Oh, yeah. And I'm funny, too.

Well-presented, young man,

and a charming, old-fashioned
gesture besides.

Ready to hit the links, Walter?

In a minute, Nash.

Anyway, as you can see,
your visit has been in vain, Mr. Boyd.

My daughter Kelly has been
dating young Nash here for some years now.

Well, Boyd,
how's that chin healing?

Never mind my chin.
How's your ring?

Nash, it seems Mr. Boyd here
has his eye on Kelly.

Oh. What a coincidence.

Only yesterday he had his eye
on my topsiders.

Come on, son, we're on the tee
in ten minutes.

It sounds good, but I have to warn you,
I've never played before.

Uh, he's talking to me, Gomer.

You'll... show yourself out?

Well, you'd better get going, Boyd.
You're going to be late for that bus.

A lot you know.

Doesn't come around
for another 15 minutes.

Nash!

Let's do it!

I'll see you later, Kelly.

Got to go let your dad
beat me at golf again.

Well, I'd better be going, too.

Wait a minute.

I heard your dad's answer
and I heard Nash's answer,

but I still haven't
heard your answer yet.

Oh, gosh, Woody, I couldn't.

I understand.

Wait a minute.

Why not?

I'm not Nash's property,

and I just hate it when he always
assumes that I am.

Well, beans! This will show him.

Aw, that-- that's great. That is terrific.

All right.

I'll pick you up
tomorrow at 8:00, okay?

Now, I promise you, you're going to have
the best time possible.

You may think from looking at me that
I'm an unsophisticated guy

who doesn't know his way around,
but you're going to find out I do, okay?

I'll see you.

Woody?

Yes?

Do you know you're in a closet?

Yeah, but I thought it
might be more sophisticated

just to lay low and then sneak out
after everyone went to bed.

Good night.

Good night.

Sam, has Woody come back
from his date yet?

I've changed his schedule around
so he can have all of his evenings off

so he can continue to date that
lovely young woman.

Wait a minute.
Now you want them to date?

I mean, what happened to the attack

of the screaming
boss lady from hell?

Now, I will admit that I didn't want him
to ask her out originally,

but let's face it,
he's on a date with her.

And the more they date,
the more of a chance he has to become

the boss' son-in-law.
And bosses' sons-in-law become VPs.

And in the corporate world,
it always helps to have a VP in your corner.

That's disgusting.

Sam, I don't make up the rules,

I just follow them.

Thanks again for a wonderful
evening, Woody.

You introduced me
to a whole new world.

Yeah, it's hard to believe a girl
like you has never been

to a monster truck
and tractor pull before.

Whoa, Woody.
on the first date.

How you going
to top that, buddy?

Well, there's no need to top it.
uh, it's a one-shot deal.

What do you mean?

I mean, the only reason
she went out with me

was to make a point
with her boyfriend.

Wait a minute.
How do you know that?

'Cause she told me.
I mean, it only seems fair.

The only reason I went out with her
was to get revenge at her boyfriend,

at least that's what I told her.

Woody, that is beautiful.

That's the kind of honesty

that's going to keep you out
of marriage.

Kelly.

Your dad said I might find you here.

Nash, I know what you're going to say,
and I don't want to hear it.

I'm tired of being treated
like chattel.

Excuse me.
I think that's pronounced "cattle."

You know, when I heard
what you were up to,

I got really mad.

Then I-- well, I realized...

You couldn't possibly be doing this
for your own enjoyment,

so you must be doing it
to prove a point to me.

And I have to say, point well taken.

This has been a humbling
experience for me. Nothing personal.

That's okay.
I didn't understand.

Anyway, from now on,
new Nash.

I just hope you'll
give me another chance.

Well...

Okay.

Great. Hey, let's go.

Maybe we can catch
a late supper at Giuseppe's.

I don't know, I--

Are we finished with our date, Woody?

Yeah, okay. I guess it's over,
if you want.

Well, thanks again
for a fun evening.

Kelly.

What?

Nothing.

Do you have something
you want to say to me, Woody?

No.

I had a great time.

It was nice meeting you.

I was really happy
to get to know you.

I guess I did have
something to say to you.

So, I... I guess we
should be leaving.

Yeah, I guess I should
be getting back to work.

Well, have fun working.

Yeah, have fun leaving.

Woody, come on, man.
Go get her.

I can't, Sam.
What could I possibly say to her?

Just say, 'I like you.
will you go out with me again?"

Oh, right. Just like that.

And she's going to dump
her rich boyfriend

who she's been seeing for all these years
for poor, old, nobody Woody.

I'm afraid the real world
doesn't work like that, Sam. Trust me.

Now, Woody, come on.

Hey, listen.
Just do me a favor. Go get her.

Now, if it doesn't work out,
I'll buy you dinner.

If it does, you owe me.

Just go out there, say, "I like you.
Will you go out with me again?"

Come on. Before it's too late.
Go get her.

I'll give it a try, Sam.

Excuse me.

Kelly, uh...

I like you.

Will you go out with me again?

Well, sure.

Oh, great, great.

Well, we can't do it tonight.
I got to take Sam out.

Oh, no, no.

It's okay.
We can go out now.

Uh, yeah, I have a standing reservation
at Pizza by the Yard.

Oh, wait a minute.
What about Nash?

Well, I was getting in the car with him,
when I realized...

Woody, I have a lot more fun with you.

Well, I know what you mean.

I didn't have much fun
with Nash, either.

Hey, Miss Howe?

Uh, can I leave now
to take Kelly out?

I promise I'll work
a double next week.

Oh, don't worry about it. Go.
Go ahead. Have a good time.

And if you want to stay out real late
and get married,

then come in anytime tomorrow.

You're the greatest,
Miss Howe.

Okay, let's hurry.
If we get there by 6:00 o'clock,

we can sit at the Pac-Man table.

What's a Pac-Man?

Oh, Kelly, I have so much
to teach you.