All language subtitles for Cheers.S07E08.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Thank you for caring.

You see, Sam?

And you said that very few of our customers
would care enough to write down suggestions.

No. I said very few
of our customers could write.

Well, you are wrong.
I mean, look at all of these.

Read that. Let's see how
we can make Cheers

more responsive to its customers' needs.

Uh... "Cheers should a have happy hour."

Not legal in the state
of Massachusetts.

All right.

"Serve hot hors d'oeuvres."

Conflict of interest with Melville's.

Oh, the old place is really shaping up,
isn't it?

There's got to be
one practical suggestion in here.

Now. Here's one. Ooh! it's a long one.

That means someone really cared.

"The thing I like best about Cheers

is the sense of warmth and affection
I get from the employees,

especially the manager
who seems to be

a generous,
open-hearted woman."

Did you hear that? "The manager."

"In fact, the only thing needed

to complete the loving family feeling
of this bar

would be if the manager made
the naked pretzel with the bartender."

- Sammy, Magnificent Seven.
- Great movie.

Nope, that's my order.
Come on.

Yeah.

Hee-yah!

Hey, I've never sat down
at this bar as a customer.

- What's good here?
- I've heard the beer's okay.

You guys seem pretty pumped up
tonight. Where have you been?

We rented some movies and watched them
over at Mr. Clavin's apartment.

Don't guys you ever watch anything but
The Magnificent Seven?

Oh, as a matter of fact,
we rented The Magnificent Amber sons,

but watched it for a couple of minutes,
realized it wasn't a sequel,

so we went back to watching
The Magnificent Seven.

Oh, you know,
that must have been really something,

living back in the Old West, you know,

When men were men,
settling a new frontier.

Yeah, you know, I think in one
of my past lives, I lived in the Old West.

As far as I recall, I handled myself
pretty well.

No one could pull a
buckboard like you, Clavin.

You what the trouble is
with the world we live in?

- Yeah?
- There's no danger.

There's no opportunity for three
independent hombres like ourselves

to stare death in the face
and conquer it on our terms.

What about skydiving?

You think there'd be some thrilling,
dangerous endeavor we could try, you know?

Why don't you try skydiving?

Yeah. Everything's just too
darned safe in this world.

I teach skydiving.
I could take you up any time.

Hey, I got an idea.

What about skydiving?

You mean, actually jumping out
of an airplane, Woody?

It ain't that bad. I've seen
a lot of movies of guys skydiving.

They're just floating
in the air.

Oh, yeah, they're just floating in the air,
but the Earth is hurtling upwards

at 100 miles an hour.

Guys, take it from someone
who's done it well over 2,000 times.

You'll never get over the thrill

of letting go of that plane
and falling through space.

You'll never feel such freedom
in your life.

Who the hell are you?

Bob Speakes.

I'm with the jump club
up in Weymouth.

Yeah, well, very nice to make
your acquaintance, Bob.

Now butt out.

Sorry. I didn't know you guys
were just blowing smoke.

But if you're serious,
we could start in the morning,

go through a brief orientation,
I'll have you jumping by noon.

Boy, are you barking
up the wrong tree.

These are the three biggest
cowards in Boston.

Hey, who you calling coward?

You three cocktail weenies.

You guys don't have
the guts to go up there.

Hey, don't force them.

Not everyone has
what it takes.

Who, hey, just a second, pal.

We got what it takes.

We got all kinds of what it takes.
We could do it if we wanted to.

Just the question is,
do we want to, right, Cliff ie?

Want to? huh.

Try and stop me,
sucker.

Hey, guys, don't
leave me out of this.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, fellas,
it's late, you've had a few beers.

You'll agree to anything.

Damned right we will.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- We're all agreed?
- Yeah!

Yeah!

What's the matter?

I caught one of my armpit hairs
in my t-shirt.

Wow, he really did it.

He was so scared in class.

Okay, next.

Who's he talking to?

Us, I think.

Okay. Now just like he did.

Stand in the door,

count to three, jump.

Wait 20 seconds,

pull the rip cord.

No sweat.

Hey, no problem there,
huh, men?

I mean, we're men,
right?

You got it, man.

Let's go, man.
We're still over the jump zone.

I don't want to not sound
like a man or nothing,

but this doesn't seem like as much fun

as it sounded last night.

Oh, great, Woody.

Now you've gone
and done it.

I mean, uh, we're all
pumped up, ready to go,

and now you went
and spoiled the whole thing.

It's not fun anymore.
Let's go back.

You know something, Cliff ie?

When you're right,
you're right, pal.

Turn the plane around,
will you, Bob?

Are you sure?

None of you wants to go?

You don't think we're chicken,
do you, Bob?

No, don't be silly.

It's no disgrace.
This happens all the time.

Course it's always been the ladies.

You're the first guys.

Well, you hear that?

We're trailblazers.

Hey. yeah!

Trailblazers.

- Yeah.
- There you go.

What are we gonna tell the guys
back at Cheers?

We were mouthing off
pretty good last night.

No problem, Woody.
we just walk in the bar,

we look those guys
straight in the eye,

and we lie our socks off.

Yeah. I like it.

We can't do that.

Why not? Who's gonna know?

It's just us and the guy
who jumped out before us,

And he's probably
dead by now.

I can't do that.

I can't lie.
I can't.

We've got to stick together here.

We made a pact.

Men together--
it's male bonding.

Right, which includes lying
and chickening out together.

All right,

But I got to say I'm not proud
of myself.

So what?
Cliff ie and I never are.

Okay, what we need now is a story.

One that we can stick to, okay?

So whatever we do,

we make it simple and believable.

All right, I got it.

We jumped, the chutes opened,

- and we landed.
- Perfect.

Good, good. Now,

in what order?

Okay. Let's make the story
a little simpler.

Ok?

Well, there wasn't really
a whole lot to it.

You know, we jumped,
the chutes opened,

we landed.

Yeah, yeah.

The pilot and the instructor
said they'd never seen a first-timer

do a triple backward somersault.

Landed square right
on the bull's-eye.

So, Woody, how'd you like it?

He's not much
for talking, Sammy.

Not Woody, he's a man of action.

A simple man,

like me. We both appreciate
a simple story.

The kind of story you can stick to.

Boy, I tell you.

I've always wanted
to skydive.

I've just never had the guts.

What did it feel like?

I imagine it's a lot like sex, Sammy.

Not that I have to imagine
what sex is like.

I've had plenty of sex
and plenty of this, too.

Why don't you just
get off my back, okay?

Sammy, you don't believe these guys,
do you? They didn't jump.

You two weaseled out
of here last night, went home--

You curled up with your wife.

And you got under
the sheets

with your flashlight and Barbie doll.

Come on, Carla.
they wouldn't make this up.

Oh, yeah?

- Hey, Corncob.
- Who, me?

No, the other corncob.

Look, if Woody here,

who has never told a little white fib
in his whole entire life,

because he knows that
if he does, he goes straight

to H-E- double hockey sticks,

says that they jumped,
then they jumped.

Now, Woody...

Did you and your
two playmates over there

really, really jump out of an airplane?

Well, we went up
in the plane.

I remember
'cause I was there.

Yeah.

We were very high,
and we looked down--

- I mentioned we were in the plane?
- Yeah.

And people looked like ants,

- only the kind of ants you can hardly see--
- Woody, did you jump?

Yes, I jumped,
the parachute opened,

I landed. It was all
very simple and believable.

God, I don't believe
you guys really did it.

But Woody never lies,

so I guess it's the truth.

Did you jump?

Yes.

Jump?
yes!

Yes!

I've got to give you guys credit.

You know, I'd like
to try that someday.

Yeah, well, everybody
says "someday," Sammy.

But only a precious few of us
have the maracas to try it.

Cliff ie.

Wait a minute, hey, listen,
I got maracas here.

All right, tell you what.
Why don't the three of you

Take me out, huh?

Tomorrow, maybe.

Tomorrow?

Yeah.

Is that okay with you, Norm?

Actually, you know, m-my parachute
is at the dry cleaners, Sam...

They were talking like
Wednesday, Thursday, you know.

Aw, come on. Will you guys try
to weasel out of this?

Ah, Sammy!

We live for the jump!

Well, all right then, great.
Let's do it, huh?

Woody, what do you say?

We did it, okay? We jumped!
What do you want from me?

Woody, Woody, it's okay.
It's all right.

Guys, guys,
we got to talk.

A jump powwow, Sammy.
you wouldn't understand.

Listen, guys,
you don't have to,

but I'm gonna go with Sam, okay?

I mean, I can't live with the lie,

and if I do it, then what I said
won't actually be a lie.

Now, Woody, uh, you wouldn't tell
everybody else that we didn't jump, would you?

Not unless
they asked me.

Then I'd have to
tell them.

Well, what do
you say, Cliff ie?

I mean, maybe we just had to get up there
once, you know, get the feel of it.

- Maybe this time we'd actually jump.
- Uh, well.

Heck, I'll do it if you'll do it.

You know I'll do it.

Hey, well, I'll do it.

All right then.
All right. Let's do it.

Let's do it!

Sammy, tomorrow morning
6:00 a.m. sharp.

All right.

Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!

Oh, damn.

I thought Clavin
was up on the ledge.

Ok, Sammy.
Time to take that first big step, buddy.

I kind of thought maybe one
of you guys would go first.

Good God, man, why?

Well, because you've done it before.
You know what you're doing.

It will give me a chance to see
how it's done, see if you make it.

Fair enough.

Norm!

Ha ha ha. No, no, no.

If you recall, Cliff,

I jumped first last time.
You go.

Woody.

- What?
- You go.

Make me.

Hey, you know
something, man?

All this bickering is really kind of
killing my concentration.

Now I thought the spirit
of this whole venture

was some sort of togetherness.
Me, I don't feel it.

I think we ought to just
turn the plane around and go back.

Fine, Norm, you know,
if that's how you feel, that's okay.

I'm not going to jump, either.
I feel that way too.

What do you say, Bob?

Oh, wait a minute, man.
You guys didn't jump.

You just made that up,
didn't you?

- Oh, pfff!
- Yeah, right.

Hey, Cliff.

Did you jump?

Well... no.

That's great! So you come back
to the bar, and you lie,

and you stir up
everybody's imagination

to the point where you get me up here.
I mean, that's low.

You know something?
I'm going to do it anyway.

It's not often you get
a second chance at life.

What? What are you
talking about?

There was this night
when I was playing in Tiger Stadium

towards the end of my career.

I'd been on the bottle for a while,
and the coach hadn't been using me.

But this was going
to be a big game,

so I decided I wouldn't
have a drink all day long.

I was dying,
but I knew this would be

my last chance to prove myself

as a major league pitcher.

Sure enough. Late innings
the call comes down, "send Malone in."

I told them that I couldn't play.

My arm hurt.

I chickened out.
I was afraid to go out there.

I turned tail, and I slunk
back to the locker room.

And I've regretted it
every day of my life.

I'll tell you something,
damn it!

I'm not going to let
that happen this time.

I'm going out there.

Okay, Bob. What do I do here?

Remember what I told you.
get down in the door, count to three, go.

One...

Two...

Ok, here's our story.

Well, nobody really planned it.
We just all went out at the same time and

decided to grab hands.

And there we were in this
four-leaf clover formation.

We were kind of like the...

June Taylor dancers up there.

It's kind of a male bonding thing
to give yourself a nickname.

Well, I applaud your bravery,
but I must say

I thought we'd advanced
beyond the notion

that a real man risks his life
in pointless confrontations with death.

I thought we'd pretty much accepted

that a real man is someone who makes
gobs and gobs of money.

Like me.

Well, see you later,
sisters.

You know something?
I just had this wild idea.

Do think you guys could you jump
out of an airplane

holding a large banner
that said "Cheers"?

For any particular reason?

I was just thinking. One of the comments
I got in the suggestion box said,

"You have a really great bar here,

but why keep it a secret?
Why don't you publicize more?"

We could have a cameraman shoot it,
maybe even get it on the news.

Hold on a second here.

You're talking about taking
a pure sport such as skydiving

and tainting it
for commercial gain?

Come on, a thing like that

- could have a tremendous impact.
- Hey, so could I.

Well, maybe it isn't such a good idea.
Maybe I was wrong.

Besides, I might have gone ahead
and made a fool of myself

and given in to temptation.

- I don't see what--
- Wait.

What do you mean?

Oh, I just think it's really exciting,

all the danger of--
of drifting through space.

You know.

I mean, I really wish that there
was some way that I could capture

that feeling of total abandonment
while making love.

Talk about a turn-on.

Please do.

Let's just say that this kind
of masculine bravado

is too sexy for me to resist.

Could you wait right here for a minute?

Could I talk to the June Taylor
dancers in the hallway?

Sammy, Sammy, Sammy,
wait a second now. Hey! Now listen to me.

Okay, now remember,
this time when you jump--

Out of the plane--

Hold on to the bottom
of the banner

And let is spread out so that
Otto can get a good shot of it.

Ok, question!

How are we supposed to pull our rip cord
and hold on to the banner at the same time?

You won't be pulling
the rip cord for 20 seconds.

Just count like this--

One Mississippi, two Mississippi--

Excuse me, could we make a shorter state,
like Maine?

You know, one Maine,
two Maine, three Maine.

Look, you don't have to do this.

I can have arrange to have
some stunt guys I know jump for you.

Whoa, hold on now.

You're talking about money for you guys,

Money for Otto here,
money for the plane.

Then we hire a stunt crew and
all their equipment?

That's going to run us, what, 3, 4,
$5,000, right?

- Yeah, at least.
- I'm comfortable with that.

That's fine with me.

Vera has money
from when her folks died.

We'll just dip into that.

Whew! Ha! What a relief!

I tell you, it's not as hard
to chicken out this time, is it?

No, no, Sammy. The more you do something
the easier it gets.

Go to heck in a handcart.

I can't eat. I can't sleep.
I was embarrassed to talk to my mom

On the phone the other day.

I'd rather die like a fool
than live like a coward.

Geronimo!

He jumped!

I don't believe it, he jumped!

He's not up here.
He's down there, falling!

Hey, Woody, is it scary?

That's it, man!
I'm doing it! I'm going out there!

- Really?
- You betcha!

So you don't want to pay the money, so
you're going to take the chicken route, huh? Sam

No. I'm doing this for Rebecca.
I figure the farther I fall,

the hotter she gets.
Who's with me?

I am, Sammy!

No, Norm,
you turncoat, you.

No, Cliff ie, it's as if my whole life
came down to this one moment,

and if I jump and I make it,

I prove to myself
that I am worth something,

That there's a reason for me
being on this Earth.

Then I can just sit there
planted on that bar stool

for the rest of my life.
Let's go!

Yeah?

Uh-huh.

Aah!

- Uh-huh-huh-huh...
- Aah!

Ok. Let's turn it around.

No, I'm going.

I'm going!

I'm, uh--I'm going.
I really--I'm going.

Ok. I'm going now.

One, two...

Push me! Shove me!
I got to do this.

- Kick me like a dog!
- I can't do that.

Uh-oh.

What, what?

We're out fuel!
We're going down!

Not with me, you're not.

Aah!

Okay, Rick. He's gone.

It works every time.

You guys did it!
you actually did it.

Look at them.

Ha! look at them
up there.

And there's the banner!

Well... I wouldn't have believed it

if I didn't see it
with my own two eyes.

Chickens can fly.

Boy, I feel good, Sam.

This is the greatest
I've ever felt in my life.

I thinking about doing
something really crazy.

Yeah, me too, Woody.
I'm thinking about having sex.

Sam, I think we're carrying
this male bonding thing

a little too far.

Not with me. I mean Rebecca.

Now you're talking.

No, Woody, not you.

Me.

Say, now that you've
seen all that skydiving,

how do you feel about
an evening of magic?

Well, I have to admit
after seeing that tape,

my body feels kind of
tingly all over.

Well, I think
a very special evening

with a very special skydiver

could only enhance that feeling.

I couldn't agree more.

Uh-huh.

Hi, Rebecca.
you all ready to go?

Hi, Bob. I'll be with you
in just one second.

Bob? What about me?

Bob didn't jump
out of that plane.

And Bob didn't
blow chow at 5,000 feet.

Bye, Sam!