All language subtitles for Cheers.S07E04.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

And we're on the help line with...

Oh. Me. Hi.

Hello? My name is Re... Rapunzel.

And I'm sorry if I sound
a little bit nervous,

but this is the first time
I've ever called

a radio show for help.

But I have this problem
and it's so horrendous

that I didn't have
any place else to turn.

Now, I have this new boss at work.

And he's incredibly rich
and he's incredibly powerful,

but he's also sort of...

Oh, God, how can I put this
without sounding mean...

...a weaselly little twerp.

Anyway, this guy asked me out.

And to get out of going out
with him, I told him

that I was going with
this guy named Sam... son.

So Samson, who can be
an incredible jerk sometimes,

told my boss, the twerp,
that we broke up.

All right. So my boss...

The twerp?

Right. My boss asked me out,
and you're not gonna believe this...

He proposed to me.

I mean, the only thing
I could think of to do

without jeopardizing my career
was to tell my boss

that I was still
in love with Samson.

But I cannot keep avoiding the guy.

As an example,
he is upstairs right now

having lunch at Mel... Monaco.

Melmonaco's.

The thing is that now I'm worried.

Do you think I did
the right thing?

I think so.

Now, did you have
a gardening question?

You called the Dr. Green Thumb show.

Just a reminder, Rapunzel,
plant your bulbs early.

That's a beautiful birdie
you got there on the ninth.

You guys are
playing golf today, eh?

Yeah. Nothing like bashing
the ol' pill around.

Young Woody Nicklaus here broke 80.

All right, good man.

You shot under 80 for 18 holes?

Well, no, actually, it was 17.

The 18th hole's the windmill.

If you're stupid enough
to play that one,

it's going to eat
your little colored ball.

You were playing miniature golf?

Do you have any idea how long
those real golf courses are?

Gentlemen, that was a pretty
poor showing for a power lunch.

Ralph, you're going
to have to start doing

something more than just
taking up space at these meetings.

How does a guy so young
get to be so incredibly powerful?

I just try to maintain
a cheerful attitude

and not abuse my position.

I recently read a Forbes profile
on our young Mr. Teal.

Apparently, he started
with his father's firm,

kicked the old guy out
when he was 17,

- hasn't looked back since.
- Big deal.

Did he ever win a purple ribbon
in the Jefferson county spelldown?

Anathema.
A-N-A-T-H-E-M-A.

Anathema.

Touché, Woody.

Touché.
T-O-U-C-H-É.

And a little slanty line.

Touché.

Excuse me. ls Miss Howe in?

She's in her office.
You want me to go get her?

No. Don't bother.

Dennis.

Miss Howe?

- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.

The master of the universe
awaits your presence.

Dennis, I sense bitterness.

I've never heard you talk
like this before.

Oh, I could tell you stories, honey.

Here she is, sir,
per your request.

So, how's the greatest love story
ever told working out?

Sam and I are just
as steady as ever.

As steady as yesterday
when you broke up twice?

Things are different.
It's more serious.

I won't consider it really serious
until I see a ring on your finger.

Well, what I meant by serious is...

Is that Sam and I are engaged.

Hey, everybody.

Congratulations, Sammy.

What for? She was
just a stewardess.

Stop joking, you big lug,
and come here.

Can you excuse us
just a second, Martin?

We have to discuss
our silver pattern.

Dennis, get me the papers
on the Trackwell merger.

Just keep your stupid mouth shut,
and smile.

We're engaged.

Well. Great.
Well, let's begin the honeymoon.

Sam, we're not actually
getting married.

Well, that's even better.
I can enjoy the honeymoon.

Come on, Sam.

It's just a way
to get Martin off my back.

Oh, dear! You mean
the problem-free relationship

suddenly developed a glitch?

I can't very well tell the future
president of the corporation no.

I'd never work again.

Please, Sam, just help me out here.

Just until Martin gets over me.

- Come on.
- I don't know. I...

You know, if I go along with this,
will you go to bed with me?

Let's put it this way,
if you don't go along with this,

I will never go to bed with you.

All right. So in other words...

if I don't... no, wait.
That means if you...

All right, this is me,
this is you, this is the bed.

Sam, just do it!

I don't personally think we need
the salad forks, honey,

but you're the entertainer
in the family.

Well, I suppose
congratulations are in order.

Oh, well, thank you, sir.

Yeah, I never thought
I'd get her, but it looks like

Becky here is going to be my ever-loving,
everlasting, little bundle of kisses.

Little bundle of open-mouth kisses.

Isn't he sweet?

I'd like to propose a toast
to the happy couple,

and especially to Rebecca Howe,

the only thing I ever wanted
and haven't gotten.

Same here.

Will you excuse me
just for a minute?

Hey, Sammy!

Quite a squeeze-a-rooni you got there.

I had no idea.

Sammy, tell me it isn't true.

Carla, come on. It's not true.

I knew that. You're a lousy actor.

I'm pretty good, though, huh?

Well, actually, Carla,

as a student of the theater,
I have to correct you.

What you were doing there
is not called acting.

It's called improvising.

Shut up, Woody.

Now, that would be directing.

So when's the big event?

I was kind of planning on tonight.

You're getting married tonight?

Married? Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I thought you were
talking about something else.

It is definitely
not gonna be tonight.

The important thing is,
that we are as one for evermore,

honeys till the end of time.

Well, Sam, I guess
you wouldn't be interested

in spending the next month
tending bar at a seaside resort

we reopened in Cancun.

I'm there! Whoa, hey.

- Sam!
- Oh, right. Yeah.

That wouldn't be fair
to Rebecca here.

Who could we get to replace me?

No problem. I'll make an exchange
with the bartender down there.

Well, then I'm out of here.

Hey, I'll see you in a month.

- Adios, amigos!
- Sam?

Sam! Sam?

Sam.

Martin, is this your little way
of breaking Sam and me up?

It's a bona fide offer. I need
an experienced man down there.

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking that
when Sam gets down there,

and he's all alone,
he's gonna start roving.

Well, I can tell you this,
you can send Sam away

for a month or a year,
and he will only think of me.

Excuse me.

Do they have drugstores there,
or should I pack an extra bag?

Ramon, Ramon, Ramon.

You have been
a terrific replacement for Sammy.

I'm really gonna be sorry
to see you go.

Although I will enjoy
watching you walk up the stairs.

Mi corazón Está Triste

Porque voy extrañar
toda la gente de Cheers.

Mi Carlita.

La más que todas.

-Adios, amigos.
- Bye. Take care of yourself.

I don't know
what that Latin lover said,

but I sure dig the way he said it.

If you ask me, Ramon's
a lot more Latin than lover.

You know, study after study show
that the old sons of Spain

just don't have our sexual prowess.

Cliff ie, nobody has
your sexual prowess.

Thanks, man.

You know, it seems
that the tropical sun

dries out a man's vital juices.

You ever seen a raisin?

Have you ever seen a doctor?

Sam was supposed
to be in hours ago.

Has anybody heard from him yet?

No one's heard a word
from him in weeks.

Hello, Rebecca.

Heard from Sam recently?

Have I?

Every hour on the hour.

It's almost embarrassing.

Well, then what's happened
seems all the more curious.

What's happened?

According to our reports,

Mr. Malone missed
the corporate jet home.

I'm sure there's a simple explanation.

I'll just call Cancun this afternoon
and find out what the trouble is.

We have Cancun on the line.

You're so helpful.

I'm five months from retirement.

Hello? Sam, hi, this is Rebecca.

You must have missed
your plane, you naughty boy.

So when should I pick you up
at the airport, my darling?

Sam?

Sam? Hello?

Sam? Sam?

Hello, operator? Operator?

Yes, I was just talking
to my fiancé and...

Oh, I'm sorry.

Me talk-o to me
boy-o amigo in Cancun,

and we were cut off-o.

It's a beautiful language, isn't it?

What? You no operator?

You booseboy?

Oh, busboy.

Okay, adiós.

No, no adiós.

Damn.

Thank you, Dennis.

Rebecca, you're not losing
anything in Sam.

I hear he hasn't stopped fooling around
since he got down there.

- You had him watched?
- I didn't have to.

The man's escapades
have become legendary.

The Indians in the mountains
sing a folk song about him.

Rebecca, let me help you
take your mind off your problems.

I'll pick you up for dinner,

maybe a drink,
a trip to Paris, a few laughs.

Martin, not tonight.
I really need time to get over this.

Well, then, tomorrow night.
I won't take no for an answer.

I got him.

I caught my little Ricardo Montalbán
just as he was getting into a cab.

Go get your little apron on, honey.

Carla, how come you call Ramon
Ricardo Montalbán?

Because his tight little chinos

are so packed
with rich Corinthian leather.

Oh, yeah, I see
now that you mention it.

I'd... I'd hate to change the subject,

but I don't know
if anyone else recognizes

we seem to have
a little problem here.

Oh, you need another beer,
Mr. Peterson?

Okay, we have two problems.

There's a distinct possibility
that Sammy may never come back.

Frankly, I don't blame him.
Beautiful weather, miles of beaches.

Yeah, chicks.

No suits, no rules,
no tight shoes to pinch your feet.

It would be good to get out
of the city a little bit, wouldn't it?

I got five vacation days
coming to me.

Say, it may be a crazy idea,
but why don't we go down there, too?

Lie out in the sun for a while,
work on that old mañana attitude.

Should we do it?
What do you say, guys?

Ah, maybe tomorrow.

Excuse me, bartender.

Can we get a couple
of piña coladas over here?

Sure thing. Let me just finish
making this margarita.

So, anyway, Margarita...

Buenas noches, amigos.

Hey!

- ¿Que tal, Pepe?
- Los calzones, Sammy.

Esta agua Está muy fría.

Good one, man. Good one.

Let's go, Sam. We're leaving.
I have a cab outside.

Beckita, what are you doing here?

I took the liberty
of stopping by your room

and packing your bags.

I can't believe you didn't pack
one pair of underpants.

Now, come on.
We're going home.

Home? Sweetheart. I'm...

This is home. I love this place.

Sam, we are leaving
and we are leaving now.

I'm not gonna get stuck with Martin.

Oh, right. The little one.

Sweetheart, yeah, I gotta tell ya,

I think it's high time
you told him the truth.

I can't tell him the truth.
I'll get fired.

Well, they got plenty of good
job opportunities down here.

Can you paint pictures on turtles?

Sam, I am asking you,

not as a woman
speaking to a man,

I'm asking you as a friend.
Please, Sam,

when you look back
at all the countless selfish,

petty, vindictive things
you've done in your life,

wouldn't it be wonderful
if you could say, for one brief moment,

that you did something
good and fine?

This shouldn't be
turning me on, should it?

That's it.

- cerveza, Sammy.
- Be right there, Pepe.

If you won't listen to my pleas,
maybe you'll listen to this.

You're coming with me, Sam.

Now, let's not do
anything crazy here.

I bet you wish you had
those underpants now.

Listen, I'm going to just reach out
my hand here real slowly.

I want you to relax and take
your finger off the trigger.

Just put the gun in my hand.

I'm sorry. It's not loaded.

I mean, I'm sorry. Period.
It's not loaded. Period.

It's all right, everybody.
It was just a joke.

I'm gonna go now.

Where do you think
you're going?

You can't just walk out of here.
You pulled a gun on me

in a resort in the middle
of a foreign country.

They have laws, you know. Don't they?

Good-bye, Sam.

- Pobrecita.
- Oh, no.

She's like that all the time.

This isn't even
a bad day for her.

¿Son todas las babes de Boston
locas como esta?

No. She's kind of
the queen of loco.

I mean, she was nutty
the first day I met her.

She's hyper.
You know what I mean? Hyper?

All she thinks about
is her stupid career

and she keeps blowing it.

I can't tell you how many times

I've had to pull
that lady's fat out of the fire.

Get this... you know,
this is her latest escapade.

She wants me to pretend
to be her fiancé

because she doesn't want to marry
this pint-sized executive back home.

And what do I get
for my troubles?

A gun stuck in my face.

You know what the sorriest thing is?

Me.

I still like her.

Why is that, Pepe?

Nice buns, Sammy?

You people see things so clearly.

Hey, Ramon, listen.
We're heading over

to casa de Clavin
for our weekly video film classic.

You want to take Sammy's seat?

I'm busy.

I got it rented for a couple of days.
How about tomorrow night?

- I am busy.
- Yeah?

Sorry.

He's a nice guy, that Ramon,
but he's no Sammy, is he, now?

But then again, Cliff ie...

He's a lot more Sammy
than you and I will ever be.

Hey, boss. The last of the riffraff
just cleared outta here.

You want to lock up?

Sure, Carla. Can you show me
how a key works again?

Oh, brother. You been in there
drinking all night?

Carla, I am celebrating.

I think that I am
the luckiest woman in the world.

I'm going to marry the geek tycoon.

And you know, he's gonna
give me money and jewels

and all sorts of rich stuff.

I'm gonna be so rich, I can stink,
and no one will even tell me.

I'm sure you two will be
very happy together.

I'm sure I will, too.

I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life

living in big, old mansions,
wearing fabulous clothes,

and being real nasty to the help.

You feeling sorry for yourself

because you have
to marry a rich guy?

Come on, Carla,
you wouldn't trade Eddie for him.

I'd trade Eddie
for a ride in his car.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a spam casserole
lurking in the oven.

Hey, we're the same size.

Hi, honey. You're home.

See? Aren't I gonna make you
a wonderful wife?

You've been drinking,
haven't you?

Just a sippy or two to celebrate.

Well, now that Sam's
out of the picture,

I assume that leaves
the path clear for me.

Shall we proceed?

Rebecca, will you do me the honor
of becoming my wife?

I guess.

Outstanding. Shall we set a date?

Whenever. I don't care.

You're about to see
my impulsive side.

This is Justice
of the Peace Wilson.

These are four dozen
long-stemmed red roses.

I'm the prospective bridegroom.

Guess what you are?

Dead meat on a hook?

Martin, you can't do this.

My parents aren't here.

Your parents aren't here.

My mother passed away,
and you know my father.

Dennis?

Welcome to the family.

Rebecca, you should know by now
that I haven't gotten where I am

by waiting for things
to come to me.

As far as I'm concerned,
this is a done deal.

So, let's make it legal.

Hey, baby, I'm back!
Call off the Federales.

Sam!

I couldn't stay away from you
for another second, my darling.

Kiss me.

Hey, did I interrupt
something here?

No, Martin and I
were just gonna get married.

But now that you're back...

Ah, Martin...

I'm so sorry.

This is really tearing me apart,

but I need to follow my heart.

Well, if that's what you feel,
Rebecca, you got it.

I hope you two
will be very happy together,

but remember, you blew it
in a big, big way.

I hope this won't affect
our business relationship.

Why should it?

Gee, when I sober up,
I'm probably gonna worry about this.

Better not let that happen.

I don't believe this.

You came all the way
back here just for me?

I just feel so terrible
for everything I ever said or did to you.

Well, gee, now, there must be
some way you can thank me.

You're right, Sam.

I think the time has finally come.

Yeah.

You've waited long enough.

Oh, no.

That's funny.
Usually they pass out afterwards.

No, no. I am a gentleman.

But I may never
have this chance again.