All language subtitles for Cheers.S07E01.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Hi, everybody.

- Hey.
- Hey, Sammy.

Where's Rebecca?

In her office. Why?

Today's the day a certain
chestnut brown-haired beauty

is gonna succumb
to the charms of Sammy.

Laugh if you will,

but according to my calculations,
the timing is perfect.

I've waited long enough
for her to get over Evan Drake,

but not long enough for her
to build up her resistance again.

The way I see it, I've got

about a half-hour window
of opportunity opening up here.

I'm telling you, boys,
Rebecca Howe is mine.

That's it! All right!

Sammy! Sammy!

Yes.

He's got her saying yes already.

Not a devout nun's prayer.

No, sir.

So, what you got there?

A Mercedes catalogue.

I'm thinking of getting one.

Yeah, I hear good things
about those catalogues.

What, you got a raise or something?

No. I can only afford
the cheapest model,

and I'll have
to give up lunches until I...

Well, I'll have to give up lunches,

but it will still be a Mercedes.

Speaking of Mercedes,

I'm kind of known
as the Mercedes of guys.

Really? I always thought

you were more of a cheap pickup
with a headlight missing.

Did you want something, Sam?

Rebecca, how long
have we known each other?

No, I will not go out with you.

What makes you think
that I was going to ask you for a date?

You must really think
you look hot tonight.

Then why did you come in here?

Well, I was going to compliment you

on your blouse.
That's a very pretty blouse.

Well, we haven't seen
each other today until now.

How did you know
I'd be wearing this one?

I was hoping
you were going to wear it.

It's always been
my favorite blouse.

It's brand-new.
It's the first time I've worn it.

I'm working part-time
in department store security.

I was in the store
when you bought it.

I bought it mail-order.

I drove the truck
that delivered it to your house.

One date! Come on! Please.
What, it's gonna kill you?

Men. you're all alike...

Nothing but users and takers
and big stupid jerks

who don't even know you exist,

and then go running off
to Japan with someone else.

That is such a cliché.

- Come on, please...
- Forget it.

I'm concentrating on my career.

I happen to think I have
a real future with this company.

No offense, but why?

Because I think it's my time.

You know, Evan took a lot
of key people with him to Japan.

And the way I figure it,

everyone who knows
I'm a washout is gone.

- Talk about sitting pretty.
- You bet.

You know, the new Executive
Vice President, Mr. Stone,

has been doing a little housecleaning
at the corporate level.

From where I am, it could be
just a short climb to the top.

Speaking of climbing to the top,

the way I see it,

you haven't had a date with a guy
for about two and a half years.

Now, I think this date of ours
could be good for me,

but, sweetheart, I got to say,
it's looking real necessary for you.

Sam, no. We're starting
to become good friends.

Now, why wreck that?

Friends tell friends who they think
they ought to go out with.

And as a friend, I'm telling you,

you ought to give
this Malone guy a chance.

All right.

What?

I'll go out with you.

That is great.

That's great. All right.

I'll pick you up...

Just for future reference here,
what did I do right this time?

It's just since Evan went away,
my expectations are low.

And with my stove on the blink
and nothing on the tube tonight,

I figured, why not?

Thanks. Yeah.
I'll have to remember that.

- 8:00?
- Okay.

And let's just keep
this between us.

I don't want those bozos
out there turning this into a circus.

Oh, no. I couldn't agree
with you more.

Hey! Yay!

Lucky guess.

Check it out!

Sammy, you might as well

make that entry
in your diary right now,

because no mortal woman
can resist this package.

No, no, we're just having dinner.

- Oh, right.
- Yeah.

Columbus was just going
on a little boat ride, huh?

It turns out that's true.

He told the missus he was
just stepping out for lunch

and took a left instead of a right
at the islets of Langerhans,

and before you knew it,

he was trading trinkets
for Miami Beach.

- Cliff, you should write a book.
- Why, thank you, Carla.

No, I mean right now.

I mean it.

Look, here's a pencil
and some paper.

Go on in the back room

and don't come out
until you have 60,000 words.

Go on.

I'll be right there.

Look at that. That really
takes me back, you know?

I remember my first date with Vera...

The flowers, the candy, the wine.

Sounds pretty romantic, Norm.

Yeah, it was.

In retrospect,

I suppose I should have
gotten her something, but...

I guess you can't turn back
that clock, can you?

Here you go.

I just brought these in
so they could see

what a real long-stemmed
beauty looks like.

Thank you, Sam.

- Shall we go?
- It's just dinner.

Yeah, dinner. Right. Absolutely.

Good night, fellas.
Don't wait up for us.

Oh my God, it's him!

- Who's him?
- Greg Stone. The new Exec VP.

I saw his picture
in the company newsletter.

Mr. Stone, welcome!

It's such an honor to have you here.

Mr. Stone, I'd like you
to meet Sam Malone.

- Yeah, hi.
- Pleased to meet you, Sam.

- Yeah.
- Who are you?

Rebecca Howe. I'm the manager.

Of course.

I'd like to use your phone, if I may.

You can do anything you want
with my phone.

Thank you. For the moment,
I thought I'd just speak into it.

Good choice.

Okay, come on,
let's go, sweetheart.

We're going to be late.

He could very well be

the most handsome man
I have ever seen.

And did you see the way
he looked in my eyes

when he said, "Who are you?"

I think he really likes me.

We all do, honey. Now, let's go.

No, Sam, you don't understand.
He's the man

I've been giving my accounts to
for the last couple of weeks.

I think he could be
my ticket to corporate.

Miss Howe, I'd like
to see you in my office

tomorrow morning at 9 a.m.

What did I tell you?

Well, yeah, that's great.
Now, let's go celebrate.

Oh, excuse me! Excuse me, sir!

As long as you were
going to tell me anyway,

why don't you just go ahead
and tell me now?

This is not the time or the place.

Oh, please tell me.

You've been going over my files?

Yes, I have.

- And we're doing better?
- Yes, we're doing better.

Well, then what's the problem?
Just go ahead and tell me.

I really think we should
discuss this privately.

Pal, just between us guys here,
do me a favor and tell her.

It would kind of help
grease the old skids.

- I really don't...
- Sir, excuse me, please.

Very well, Miss Howe, if you insist.

This quarter has shown
a slight improvement.

- Did you hear that, everybody?
- A slight improvement.

Yes, but the records
show unequivocally

that the bar did better

under Sam's direction than yours.

In view of this,

I'm hereby appointing Sam
the new manager.

And I regret to say,

I'm forced to give you notice.

I'm sorry.

Okay, boys, dessert.

Well, what do you say we go strap
on the old feed bag, huh?

You coming?

You guys want to help me
get her into the car?

I'll get the door.

This is going to be
a lot easier than I thought.

- Two Amstel Lights.
- I don't know, Carla...

Either managing a bar
is getting a lot more complicated

or I'm getting a lot dumber.

You couldn't be getting
any dumber, Sam.

Well, it must be
that other thing, then.

You know, having you
back in charge

really reminds me
of old times, you know?

I mean, real old times.

Even before the evil days
when darkness fell over the earth.

She means
when Diane was still here.

I know precisely what she means.

Cheers.

Sam, it's Mr. Stone for you.

Put him on hold, there, Woody.

Damn, I bet he wants those figures.

Hello, Woody.

- Miss Howe?
- Woody, where's Sam?

In his office...

Well, I mean, in your...

In your old...

I haven't seen him.

Hello.

Love your hairdo.

Yeah, it's open.

Sweetheart, what happened?

I just had to knock
on my own office door.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I swear to God
I didn't want this to happen.

I know.

It's not your fault.

I know why it happened...

Because I'm a loser.

I always have been,
and I always will be

a big, old, fat, old, stupid loser.

You're not a loser. Don't say that.

Do you hear me? You are not a loser.

Okay.

Do you have a barrette
for this or something?

I lost it.

Well, sweetheart,
don't worry about...

Don't worry about that.
It'll be all right.

Hey, you know what might
make you feel better?

We never had that date, you know.

Oh, God!

You just go back over there

and do whatever
it was you were doing.

I will get out of your life forever.

- Rebecca, I...
- Sam, please,

it will make it a lot easier.

You know,

I might just become a bag lady.

They're not all old, you know.

It could happen.

It really could.

I'll just send
for the rest of my things.

No, Rebecca, wait a second.
Honey, listen.

Sam, Mr. Stone's still on hold.

He needs those figures
on the double.

Hold it.

Well, what the hell is that?

I'm no computer expert,
but it looks like "Donkey Kong."

Oh, man, that's it.

You know, I...

It's not like it used to be
around here, Carla.

I mean, corporations,
computers, reports.

I used to keep track of inventory

in a spiral notebook, for God's sake.

- No, you didn't.
- I always meant to.

I just hate being in charge.
I'm not good at it.

Rebecca wasn't good at it, either,
but at least she enjoyed it.

You know, I'm gonna go back
to Stone, and I'm gonna beg him

to give her this job back.

Wait a minute.

You're quitting
because of this machine?

Carla, I hate that machine.

John Henry hated a machine, too.

Do you know the story
of John Henry, Sam?

He went toe-to-toe
with a steel-driving machine,

and he refused to admit

that that machine
was better than him.

And you know what happened?

Yeah. The machine beat him.

His heart exploded. He died.

He did?

Yes.

Well, go get her job back

before you lose your temper. Come on!

How'd it go?

Woody, give me
a seltzer there, will you?

Mr. Stone was dead set
against rehiring her,

and I hate to beg
when sex isn't involved.

So what happened?

Well, I had to promise
that she'd agree

to a whole list of conditions.

He finally said yes.

I left a message
on her answering machine

- that I wanted to talk to her.
- What are you gonna tell her?

Well, I'm gonna tell her
to take her stupid job back.

I don't want it anymore.

Wait a minute, Sam.
Aren't you missing something here?

What?

You desperately want to jump
this woman's bones, right?

Sure.

And you just arranged
something for her

that she wants more
than anything else in the world.

So?

Don't you see a connection
between those two things?

Breaks your heart, doesn't it?

You tell Rebecca
that you love being the manager,

but you couldn't stand
to see her being so miserable,

so you got her her job back.

Next thing you know,

she'll be doing the backstroke
on your waterbed.

Carla... I'm shocked.

Why? That you didn't
think of it first?

Yeah. I mean,
I must be losing it.

Woody, call Melville's.

Tell them I want
an 8:00 reservation for two.

Tell them that I want
booth number five,

chill their best champagne,

yeah, and order
a chocolate soufflé for dessert.

Gee, Sam, that sounds good,

but actually, I brought my dinner.

Woody,

make the reservation.

All right, but this is a waste

of a perfectly good
meatball sandwich.

Thank you.

Sam, I can't thank you enough
for getting my job back.

I finally feel good
about myself again.

You know, the first thing
I did when I got home

was I put in an order
for that Mercedes.

Well, I think you'll look great
wearing one of those.

So...

...you having a good time?

Yeah, I actually am.

Well, you don't have
to sound so surprised.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that.

It's just that...

...with all your obnoxious
come-ons and everything,

I never expected you to be as...

...as charming
as you've been tonight.

No kidding?

So what do you find
charming about me?

Well, for one thing,
I find it charming

that you would try to impress me

by ordering an elegant soufflé
when I know perfectly well

that your favorite dessert
is frozen snicker bars.

Actually, they're in the bottom
of your champagne bucket there.

Oh. I think I was just charming
again there, wasn't I?

I don't get it.

Just when I thought
I had you pegged,

you go out and do something
like you did today.

Sam, that really was
the nicest thing

that anyone has ever done for me.

Well, you deserve to have
nice things done for you.

You're a very nice person.

So are you.

- Sam?
- Yeah?

Is that your hand on my leg?

I'll be darned. My left hand
does seem to be missing.

- Want me to move it?
- Yes.

That's not what I meant.

Oh, thank you.

Oh! Mr. Stone!

Hi! What a surprise.

Oh, good evening.

I wonder if we could
have the table over there.

Mr. Stone, I'm not the hostess.

I'm Rebecca Howe
from downstairs.

Ah, of course you are.

Miss Howe.

I guess I ought
to say welcome back.

I was a little surprised
you agreed to the conditions,

but if you can live
with them, so can we.

Ah, here's the maître d'.

I wonder if I could have that table...

...in the other room?

Nice to see you again.

What was he talking about?

What conditions?

Want some more champagne?

Sam, what conditions?

Well, they were so insignificant,
they really slipped my mind.

All right...

You have to take
a slight pay cut

and go back to school
for your MBA,

and share the office with me,

consult with me
on all major decisions,

and since you lack
any practical experience,

you'll have to wait tables
when the bar's busy,

which would put you under
the immediate supervision of Carla.

Any wonder it slipped my mind?

Sam, when were you planning
on telling me this?

After.

After what?

Afterwards?

I... I'm sorry.

I should have told you, but...

I just thought that you'd been going
through such a tough time,

that you deserved at least one night
of feeling good about yourself.

- I'll call you a cab.
- No, no, no. It's okay.

The important thing is
that I have my job back.

You're not upset about this?

How can I be upset

when I have so much
to be thankful for?

Now...

Where were we?

Does this look familiar?

- Sam?
- Yeah.

I want tonight to be very special.

And I think I can figure a way
for us to do that.

You see, I have this fantasy...

And it's something
that I've always wanted to try,

but I didn't ever think
that I'd get to do it until tonight.

Would you like to know what it is?

Yes, please.

Okay.

Well, you see,
I have this hot tub at home.

I love the way this begins.

And what we do
when we get there...

First?

And then...

Oh, God.

Oh, please.

And this is the part that's just
a little tiny bit illegal...

No, I don't think
that I should tell you.

I really think it would be better
if I showed you.

Come with me now
so we don't spoil the mood.

Could you just
give me a minute?

No.

Bye-bye, Sam.

Can I get you
anything else, Mr. Malone?

No, thank you, Paul.

Actually, Paul...

Could I have another one
of your chocolate soufflés?

Are you aware
that will take 45 minutes?

Yes, Paul, I am.

Woody, Sam's going to be
upstairs for a while.

When he comes down,
give him this message...

You tell him that
it will be a cold day in hell

before I ever share
an office with him,

or schlep drinks
in a two-bit saloon.

Miss Howe?

By the way, Midtown Mercedes called

and said you can pick up
your car anytime.

Oh, and they got
the one you wanted, the red one.

The red one?

Hi, there, my name's Rebecca...

and it will be my pleasure
to serve you.