Original subtitles

Fish, you all right?

I got an upset stomach. Something I ate, I guess.

You ought to stick to a bland diet.

That's what made me sick.

Lookin' at all those kids on television

with all the white teeth,

who keep talking about milk all the time.

Well, milk shouldn't upset your stomach.

Yeah. Well... Maybe it's just the kids.

Hey, uh, Fish?

Uh, you feeling nauseous, huh?

Yeah. Why?

Uh, well, because that's just a sigh

that your system needs cleaning out.

There's something in there that wants to come up.

Get away from me.

Wojo.

I was just trying to help.

Haven't you ever heard of the power of suggestion?

Yeah, but he won't listen.

Morning, guys.

Good morning, Nick. Good morning.

Don't ruin your appetites.

I'm buying lunch for everybody on me.

Well. What's the occasion?

I'm rich.

I won my bets on the Rose Bowl,

the Sugar Bowl, the Cotton Bowl,

and I chunked it all on a hockey game and I won that.

Hey, all right. All right.

How much did you win?

A hundred and sixteen bucks.

Quite a windfall. Yeah.

Yeah, I still feel tingly.

Hey, hey. Good morning, guys.

Morning.

The, uh, mail come in yet?

Uh, yeah. There's something your desk.

Oh, beautiful.

Hey, uh, Fish, I'm taking you to lunch today.

Forget it.

Too proud.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Baby, here it is.

This is my first published short story.

The magazine, it doesn't come out until Tuesday,

but since I'm a contributing author I get an advance copy.

Hey, congratulations.

Sir Gent. Entertainment for the Sophisticated Male.

They publish a lot of serious fiction.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Well, see, that's what they call a "slick" in the trade.

Ah. What's the name of your article?

Oh, uh, "John and Mary Ann."

Here it is, right here on page... What?

What's the matter?

They changed the title.

"John and Mary Ann..."

"And Harry and Frank."

Editorial license.

Oh, man. I wrote a beautiful story about a man and a woman.

Who the hell are Harry and Frank?

Maybe you'd better read it and find out.

You write a nice story, you put it in a magazine,

you have trampolines and all that stuff...

Man, this is disgusting!

Do we really have to do this, Joe?

Just don't interrupt, Lois. I know what's best.

Uh, I want to speak to someone in authority.

Who's in charge here?

What makes you think it isn't me?

Is it? No.

Captain Miller.

Hi. Can I help you? I'm Captain Miller.

We want our daughter back.

Please. I'm Joseph Wheaton.

Um, this is my wife.

The thing is, our daughter came down here to New York

three months ago because she said, um,

Providence had lousy karma.

I-It has to do with a person's destiny.

Yes. I'm familiar with the term.

Sure. But in the meantime there were the private schools,

the expensive clothes, her own car.

We thought she was happy.

Well, who the hell knew the karma would go bad?

Mr. Wheaton, what seems to be the problem?

We tracked her down to this restaurant she's working in.

Some freak joint on 2nd Avenue

called the Light of the East Temple and Herbarium.

I can't say I'm familiar with the place.

Barney, I am.

It's a... A health food restaurant.

It's run by a sort of a religious cult.

I don't care what they are. They've got my daughter.

We wanted her to come home with us.

They wouldn't even let us talk to her.

Well, you can't talk to her anyway.

They've given her a new kind of Hindu name

you can't even pronounce.

All right, let's just take it easy.

Wojo, take a run over there, check it out.

Sure. Mrs. Wheaton, have a seat.

Thank you. Mr. Wheaton,

we'll, uh, try and get some answers for you.

It'll take a few minutes. Harris, go with Wojo.

Man, I tell you. They take my beautiful prose

and turned it into garbage.

Yeah, that's too bad.

Who are Harry and Frank, anyway?

They're acrobats.

Big ones.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, come on, will you?

Would you folks like some coffee?

You got anything stronger here?

There's nothing stronger anywhere.

Knock, knock. Anybody home?

Bernice, what are you doing here?

I just stopped by to say hello.

Hello.

What are you doing all dressed up?

I don't know. It, uh...

It made me feel good.

How are you, Fish?

I'm sick to my stomach.

Again? Still.

So I can't take you out to lunch.

Oh. That's all right.

I, um... I have to be somewhere.

Where?

An interview, for a job.

A what?

Fish, I've been thinking about it and I decided...

No. Fish.

Over my dead body.

Don't say things like that.

Go home, Bernice. We'll talk about it later.

Please, Fish. I wanna make a contribution.

Not now, I'm nauseous.

But we could use the extra money.

Bernice, Bernice, don't air our dirty linen in public.

Fish, you're gonna retire in a few months.

I wanna be of some help.

I don't need any help.

Besides, you can't do anything.

I sold lingerie in a department store before the war.

I could do it again.

It's different now, Bernice.

Most of the customers are men now,

and half of them aren't buying gifts.

Fish...

Bernice, I don't want my wife working.

That's it.

Have you found our daughter?

Yeah, right. Barney? What have they done with her?

Excuse me, Mr. Wheaton.

What happened? Nothing.

She's a nice girl and, uh, she's pretty.

Excuse me, Mr. Wheaton.

Uh, Barn, we talked to her and she said everything was fine.

Yeah, uh, Barn, she's 22,

and she said she'd never been happier in her life.

It's a lie. They've got her brainwashed.

She seemed to be in a rational state of mind?

Oh, yeah, very. I mean, she he was tranquil.

Sure, they've probably got her drugged.

She's probably on pot or those funny mushrooms.

No, she wasn't.

How do you know?

Experience.

What's that mean?

Uh, Detective Harris means he's a trained professional.

He would be able to determine

if someone were under the influence of narcotics. Right?

Okay.

Look, what I want to know is

are you guys gonna help us or not?

Well, Mr. Wheaton, the fact is,

your daughter is legally an adult.

That means this is not a police matter.

Oh, my baby. I'll never see her again.

Oh, Lois, quit that.

That poor lady. What happened to her daughter?

She got a job.

Captain, you leave me no choice.

I've gotta go over your head.

That's your prerogative, Mr. Wheaton.

Let's go, Lois.

I just wanna say how grateful we are

for all your help.

Yes, thank you for trying.

Don't contradict me.

I have to go now, Phil.

Bernice, I'm telling you,

I'm commanding you, don't do this.

Fish, I can't live my whole life through you.

I'm growing, I'm changing.

Have you started taking those hormone pills again?

The doctor prescribed them.

Well, then stop it.

It's affecting your mind.

I'll see you tonight.

Bernice.

It's that hormone stuff, it makes them crazy.

I wouldn't know.

I do, I tried one.

Yeah, the editor-in-chief.

Look, I don't care what he's doing.

I wanna talk to him now, or else you can...

All right, yeah, I'll hold.

It's pretty racy stuff, huh?

Yeah.

Hey, man, can you believe that dribble?

I mean, the infantile sentences, hackneyed phrases,

mindless characters.

I was commenting on that to Wojo.

Yeah.

Nick, don't you have anything better to do with your time?

No.

I thought you were gonna file those precinct reports.

You said better, not different.

Yeah. No, we got it. Yeah. Uh, Barney?

That was the Light of the East.

The Wheaton's went over there and grabbed their daughter.

They shoved her in a cab and took off.

How homey.

Grab Harris and take a run over there.

Look, I want my name taken off that piece of trash.

What do you mean, they've already been sent out?

Call 'em back.

Yeah. They do it with cars.

Harris, we got work to do.

Well, well, I should've known better than to even

submit anything to a raunchy, tasteless,

no-class smut rag like yours.

No, I do not want a free subscription.

Don't hang up!

Oh, man. You know what I'd really love to do?

I'd love to send back that 250 bucks

to that magazine and then tell them what to do with it.

Why don't you do that?

I'm wearing it.

Uh, give me Dispatch.

You know, some people have a strange way

of demonstrating their love.

Yeah.

Hey, Sidney.

Here.

What's that?

Those are my betting slips and my records.

I'm a bookie.

Who asked you?

Wait a minute. Come on, arrest me, will you?

Arrest me. Sure, why not?

What are you doing?

I'm saving my skin, Nick.

What happened?

I'm busted, that's what happened.

I've been the victim of a mass hunch.

Everybody picked right.

The Rose Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the Sugar Bowl...

I thought it was just me.

There are guys out there with oversized knuckles

lookin' for me who aren't as nice as you.

You mean to tell me I'm not gonna get paid?

Oh, not right now, but...

Sidney, if I had the guts I'd break both your arms.

Oh, you wouldn't do that, Nick.

No, but that's still...

I got some pride left.

Sit down.

Sure, with pleasure.

I'll give you 75-to-1 it ain't.

I was sent here.

For anyone in particular?

They told me a Captain Miller.

Yeah, just a second.

Barney!

Captain Miller?

Ah, you must be...

Bodhisattva, owner and guide of the Light of the East.

Thank you for coming down, Mr., uh...

I understand you were a witness to the abduction.

Would that first my sight had been lost before I was.

So you saw her forcibly taken from the restaurant?

The universe decrees to our eyes much that is unpleasant,

and yet must be endured.

You saw it happen?

Yeah. Good!

We are very concerned for her.

She is a delicate girl, and very much beloved.

I'm sure.

Good waitress too.

Okay. Right this way, please.

Whose side are you guys on, anyway, for God's sakes?

Come on. I wanna go back to the temple.

Yeah. Uh, well, you gotta do this first.

Come and sit...

Well, hello again, Mr. Wheaton.

Why are we being harassed?

I thought you said this wasn't a police matter.

It wasn't until you, uh, used coercion

and force on your daughter. Now it is.

We just wanted to talk to her alone.

Uh, Barn? Uh, we got to the hotel

and we heard screaming in the room, so we went in.

Yeah. Your big boy kicked down the door.

Manager said he'll be calling you later.

Thank you.

Are you all right?

I'm sorry and ashamed this had to happen.

Don't be.

I know we're not supposed to leave our stations.

It's okay. Gabrilvishna covered for you.

Gabrilvishna?

The little redhead with the pimples.

Captain, I know if we just had a few hours alone with her,

we could bring her to her senses.

Mr. Wheaton, you don't seem to realize

the seriousness of this situation.

If your daughter decides to file a complaint,

you could be charged with kidnapping.

My little girl wouldn't do anything like that to us.

Well, let's see.

Ma'am?

If that's the only way to make you respect my rights.

Barbara Lynn, you...

You wouldn't put your mother in jail.

It doesn't mean I don't love you,

but I have to do what is required.

Uh, Miss... Uh, Miss Wheaton.

Why don't you...? My name is Praknamurti.

Praknamurti. Praknamurti.

Why don't you sit down and give a statement

to Detective Wojciehowicz?

Wojciehowicz.

Uh, Harris, would you take a statement from Mr., uh...?

Bodhisattva.

Right.

Listen, um, just a preliminary statement for the time being.

Hold off on the, uh... On the charges.

All right.

Uh, Barn. Yeah?

Listen, ahem, I'm... I'm sorry about the door.

You know. I know you don't like rough stuff.

All right, forget it.

I didn't know it was unlocked.

All right. All right, Rapko,

I'm gonna put you in the cage now.

Oh, thanks very much.

You're responsible for all this.

You poisoned her mind against us.

I simply led her to her own truth and awareness.

Listen, your mumbo jumbo doesn't fool me.

You're running a cheap little operation,

and God knows what you do there.

About 30,000 after taxes.

In that place?

I take no drugs. They are a plague on the body.

Oh, that's great. Me either.

And no tobacco, and no alcohol.

A couple of beers now and then...

And I took a vow of celibacy.

Celibacy?

No sex.

No kiddin'.

Captain, what happens next?

Well, I'm afraid that's, uh, up to your daughter.

All depends whether she wants to press charges or not.

Hmm?

I don't wanna put them in jail.

But I just wanna be left alone and allowed to live my own life.

All right.

She wants nothing to do with us, Lois.

Fine. Oh, Joe.

As far as I'm concerned,

Barbara Lynn Wheaton no longer exists.

Captain, as far as I'm concerned,

this incident never happened.

All right.

You can go.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Uh, right. Yeah.

You've been very kind.

Uh, nice to see you.

I hope you'll stop by the temple sometime,

perhaps join our evening devotions.

Didn't think you had any.

Daddy?

Mom.

Will I ever see you again?

If not in this life, then in the next.

I see.

Can we go now?

I'll be along later.

You go back to the temple and meditate on the events of today,

and then replace Gabrilvishna on the cash register.

Will do.

Goodbye, Wojciehowicz.

Goodbye, uh, Praknamurti.

Mm, mm.

You'd be amazed at the turnover we get down at the temple.

Really?

Bigger than McDonald's.

They soon weary of the demands of the austere life.

You dig?

Yeah, I dig. Heh.

Uh, captain, if there's nothing else required...

No, you've been very helpful.

You should visit us.

I think you would enjoy it.

Perhaps some day.

It is a place where one can nourish the body,

uplift the spirit and renew the heart.

Sounds very nice.

We also deliver.

Good.

Hello, Bernice.

Who was that man?

Stay away from him.

I was just asking.

So?

Are you working?

No.

The man at the employment agency said that I was unskilled,

I had no experience,

and I was 20 years too old.

Forget it. Look on the bright side.

Are we free to go?

All right.

Come on, Lois, we can catch a train back this afternoon.

Well, wait a minute, Joe.

There's no reason for us to stay any longer.

Well, I'm hungry.

We're not going to that place.

I have a feeling for soul food.

Forget it. I have a real craving, Joe.

Maybe I'm pregnant.

Lois, don't threaten me.

Come on. Please, Joe.

You heard them.

They want us to stay away from that place.

Right, captain?

Well, the department frowns on kidnapping,

but, uh, you can have lunch wherever you want.

Oh, thank you.

Y-You'll look in on her when you can, huh?

Don't worry.

We will. Yeah, we'll take care of it.

Her own parents kidnapped her. How do you like that?

Yeah, well, you know, statistics show that

most kidnap victims knew their abductors before the crime.

Oh, yeah? BARNEY: Yeah.

I just thought they picked somebody at ransom.

You would say something like that

to a man who's wearing a gun?

I thought it was funny.

What? Never mind.

You'd probably shoot.

Hey, come on.

Even Hemingway was re-written early in his career.

Yeah, and then he ended up by shooting himself in the mouth.

Boy, the only thing that I'm gonna write from now on

is gonna be my laundry list.

Come on, you sold a story, it was published in a magazine.

You sold a story to magazine?

Yeah, well... That's wonderful.

What magazine?

Sir Gent.

Is it British?

Hardly.

How many people in the whole world

can say that they're a published author?

Oh, well, very few of us. But, uh...

It's not the kind of thing you wanna gloat over, you know?

I mean, other people, they don't like to be reminded

of your success all the time.

But in idle conversation... Fits right in.

Well, I guess I'll go now, Fish.

You have work to do.

Bernice, I bet there are a lot of jobs you could get,

if you really tried.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You know, Fish,

sometimes you can be a very exciting person.

I'm gonna buy the magazine so I can read your story.

Oh, uh, Bernice, I...

Uh, I don't think that would be a very good idea.

Ah, let her.

But remember, it's fiction.