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1
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:05,215
Hey, Fish. Yeah.
2
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:08,118
Uh, there's a bankruptcy
sale on this afternoon.
3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,774
You wanna buy a cemetery plot?
4
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,359
I got better things
to do with my money.
5
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:18,561
It might not be a
bad investment.
6
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:21,553
You might be able to rent
it out until you needed it.
7
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,400
Definitely not.
8
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:27,960
I'm planning on donating
my body to medical science.
9
00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:34,099
If they'll take it.
10
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:36,879
Good morning. Good
morning, Barney.
11
00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:38,681
Good morning. How's the coffee?
12
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:39,945
Thick.
13
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,053
Try mixing in some hot water.
14
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,577
I did. That's what
made it thick.
15
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:48,725
Morning, Fish. FISH: Morning.
16
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,727
Hi, Woj. BARNEY:
Good morning, Wojo.
17
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:51,728
Hi, Nick.
18
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,397
Hey, uh, Barn,
19
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,661
you wanna guess
what's in the box?
20
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,134
Is it bigger than a shoebox?
21
00:00:58,158 --> 00:01:01,037
No. Couldn't be.
22
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,127
Then I give up.
23
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:09,012
Those aren't shoes, are they?
24
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,047
Come on, Barn. They're brownies.
25
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,949
Oh.
26
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:14,484
Gloria made 'em.
27
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,551
Gloria?
28
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,653
Yeah, uh, this girl I met.
29
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:19,789
She lives right down the street.
30
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:22,714
She, uh... She gets
turned on by police officers.
31
00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:25,828
Go ahead, uh, try one.
32
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:26,896
They're... They're good.
33
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,231
They... They look wonderful,
34
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,600
but, uh, I gotta
watch my weight.
35
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,135
Ah, you too, huh?
36
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:35,305
Little spare tire? Heh-heh-heh.
37
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:38,641
I don't know that I would
describe it that way, no.
38
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,843
Gloria calls 'em "love handles."
39
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,383
But you'd like her, Barn.
40
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,717
She paints.
41
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,586
Oh, and plays the flute.
42
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,154
And... And since
I met her, she...
43
00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:53,723
She ain't been hangin' around
the police station anymore.
44
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:56,225
Good. Good.
45
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,660
Hey, uh, Nick. Yeah.
46
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,295
Want a homemade brownie?
47
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:00,296
Did you make 'em?
48
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,297
No.
49
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:02,465
Okay.
50
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,834
Hey, Harris. Harris,
you want a brownie?
51
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:05,868
Uh, no. No thanks, man.
52
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,659
Gotta watch the love handles.
53
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,975
Hi, guys. Got your mail.
54
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,778
Okay.
55
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:15,945
Morning, sir.
56
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,814
Oh, good morning, uh, Levitt.
57
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:18,981
Here's your mail, sir.
58
00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:20,583
Oh, thank you.
59
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,652
And a copy of my service record.
60
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,454
Thought you might
want to take a look at it.
61
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,655
Makes pretty good reading.
62
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:28,157
Uh, soon as I get a chance.
63
00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:30,193
You'll find many
examples of initiative,
64
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:32,862
dedication to duty
and loyalty, sir.
65
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:35,164
Loyalty? Courage
is also indicated.
66
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:36,499
Good.
67
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,067
What you won't
find, sir, is height.
68
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,603
There's not a lot
of height in there.
69
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,405
Well, shortness is a
result of parentage,
70
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:45,475
of which my mother and father
were both very good examples:
71
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,610
5 foot 2 and 4 foot 8.
72
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,612
Dad liked tall
women. Heh-heh-heh.
73
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,838
So I have humor, but no height.
74
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,954
Levitt, I admire your spirit
but there are a lot of factors
75
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,723
that have to be taken
into consideration
76
00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,524
when choosing a detective.
77
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:02,759
Religion. Huh?
78
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,061
I believe there's a God. Good.
79
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:07,630
I ain't crazy about the
way he does things...
80
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:10,833
Levitt, believe me,
I got you in mind,
81
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,935
but these things take time.
82
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,059
Yes, sir. I'll be on
duty till 5:30, sir.
83
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,677
Makin' it tough.
84
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,945
Barney. Hm?
85
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:25,415
There's a disturbance
over at Washington Square.
86
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,883
A couple of guys are
having a duel with sabers.
87
00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:29,852
Sabers? You mean sabers?
88
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:30,876
That's what they said.
89
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,123
Uh, Harris?
90
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:35,158
Yeah. You wanna go with Nick?
91
00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:36,292
Okay, Barn.
92
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:42,086
Hm.
93
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,969
Hey, uh, Harris.
94
00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:49,827
Where...? Where'd you hear
that expression, "love handles"?
95
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,743
Round the neighborhood.
96
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,799
Coming, Nick?
97
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,870
Hi. Hi.
98
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,004
Help you? Yeah.
99
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,674
You got a detective up
here named Phil Fish?
100
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,442
Right here.
101
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,277
Hey. Phillip K. Fish?
102
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,445
That's right. That's me.
103
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,902
Hey, Fish.
104
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,005
Hey.
105
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,187
Frank Slater.
106
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,623
We went through the
academy together, remember?
107
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,058
Oh, Slater.
108
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,726
Yeah, sure I remember.
109
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,495
Hey, that had to be,
what, 35 years ago, huh?
110
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:21,731
Yeah, yeah. How you doing?
111
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,400
Great, great. Uh, I was
out in Queens for a while
112
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:25,802
with the 165,
113
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,404
but when they started
with all that layoff business,
114
00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:31,529
the department sent
me down here on TDY.
115
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:38,670
Well, uh... Uh, no kiddin'.
116
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,421
Just keep it calm,
will you please?
117
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,189
Just keep it down.
Hold it, hold it down!
118
00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:48,491
What's going on here?
119
00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:51,360
Wait a minute. Hold it.
120
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,429
Uh, Barn, that's Polish.
121
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:54,797
Really?
122
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:55,865
Would you mind?
123
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:59,102
Quiet. Quiet. Quiet!
124
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,574
Uh, he says this
man insulted him.
125
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,347
Uh, he said he deserved it.
126
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,016
Something about the theater.
127
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,984
Yeah, I'm an
actor in the theater.
128
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:18,587
Oh, he says he's an
actor in the theatre.
129
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:21,190
I heard him.
130
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,358
Oh, uh, right.
131
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,528
And, uh, I am a drama critic.
132
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,496
I write for Polish newspaper.
133
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,198
Ah, natural enemies.
134
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,601
That man attacked me
publicly in the newspaper.
135
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:35,337
Every Polish-speaking
person in New York
136
00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:36,939
will read that slander.
137
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,409
I attacked your performance.
138
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,377
And it was dreadful.
139
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,712
Okay. All right.
140
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,547
You've had about enough of that.
141
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,515
Uh, Harris, would
you take Mr., uh...?
142
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:47,516
Makowski.
143
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,985
Mr. Makowski with you,
144
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,920
and, uh, Yemana? YEMANA: Yeah.
145
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,188
You'll take Mr., uh...?
146
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,323
Psczola.
147
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,691
With you. We'll, uh,
148
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:58,027
get all the pertinent
details here.
149
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,230
You two gentlemen
cool down a little, please.
150
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,931
No more insults.
151
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,367
So you been doin'
great, huh, Phil?
152
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,869
Detective sergeant.
153
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:08,337
I'm proud of you, Phil.
154
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:11,708
Hey, uh... Hey,
tell me something.
155
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,843
Are you still married
to Bernice Gruber?
156
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:14,911
Oh, yes.
157
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,345
What a woman.
158
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,815
Boy, there was a time...
159
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,404
Well, listen, the best man won.
160
00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:24,287
I beg your pardon?
161
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:25,821
Name?
162
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,189
Psczola.
163
00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:30,326
Zbigniew Psczola.
164
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,194
You spell it like it sounds.
165
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:36,220
P-S-C-Z-O-L-A.
166
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,738
Write your number
down on a piece of paper.
167
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,172
I wanna give her a call.
168
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,074
Maybe I'll take you
both out to lunch today?
169
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:49,012
Well, we don't go to
lunch together very often.
170
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:52,482
Breakfast and
dinner seems plenty.
171
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,317
Are you, uh...?
172
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,852
Are you an American citizen?
173
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,086
Not yet.
174
00:07:57,110 --> 00:08:00,156
Oh, I... I was very
famous in Poland,
175
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,358
but I must leave
it three years ago.
176
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:04,193
I see.
177
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,795
You people in
America, you don't know
178
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,853
what it means to be oppressed.
179
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,616
How long you say
you've been here?
180
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:16,506
Oh, what a dancer she was.
181
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:19,241
Remember the old
Glen Island Casino?
182
00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:22,479
Glenn Miller wailing it
out there. Artie Shaw.
183
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:26,804
Oh, she used to have a way
of just fitting you, you know?
184
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,952
Well, look, I, uh...
185
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,521
I better get back
downstairs, Phil.
186
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:33,456
What do you say we
talk again soon, huh?
187
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,458
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure.
188
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,849
See you, lucky.
189
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,267
Yes, ma'am. Thank you.
190
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,001
We'll take care of it.
191
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,571
Bye.
192
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:49,772
Hey, Barn?
193
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:51,162
Yeah?
194
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:55,211
Got a burglary suspect.
195
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,413
Woman came home and
found this guy in her apartment.
196
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,414
Where?
197
00:08:58,438 --> 00:08:59,515
In the bedroom.
198
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,516
What address?
199
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,017
Oh.
200
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,186
Here.
201
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:07,723
69... 67 West 7th
Street... West 9th Street.
202
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,159
He... She went out the window,
went right across the ledge
203
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,750
and up the wall
and onto the roof.
204
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,137
Uh, all right.
205
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,871
Fish, go with him.
206
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,073
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
207
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,942
But, uh, take care
running around up there.
208
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:30,179
Oh, don't worry about him.
209
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,014
You better take
a couple of cars.
210
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:34,584
Yeah, no problem, Barn.
211
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,252
Oh, thank you.
212
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,453
Quick energy.
213
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:40,077
Makes it easy to get
the jump on the bad guy.
214
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:45,261
You know, he was
once a fine actor
215
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:48,631
with Polish National
Theater, but now...
216
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,199
You want a brownie?
217
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,901
No. I want to go away from here.
218
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,104
They're pretty good. Look.
219
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:58,107
See, you dunk 'em, and
they get nice and mushy.
220
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,430
Thank you.
221
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,079
Good word, mushy.
222
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,983
Mushy. Mushy. Mushy.
223
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:13,556
The play was The
Sacred Bird of Crakow.
224
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,258
Do you know it?
225
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,859
I don't think so, man. Come on.
226
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:19,828
Oh, it was... It was beautiful.
227
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:24,900
I am the star, and the
audience, they just worship me.
228
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:26,369
And he?
229
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:29,772
What does he say here:
230
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:33,042
"Janusz Makowski" That's me.
231
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:36,245
"Janusz Makowski plays his role
232
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:39,304
like a howling jackass."
233
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,873
That's heavy man. Heavy.
234
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:47,056
"A howling
jackass," he calls me.
235
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,659
I apologize to the jackasses.
236
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:55,164
I don't think this is funny.
237
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,732
Funny.
238
00:10:56,756 --> 00:11:00,269
Funny bone. Funny
bone. Funny bone.
239
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,959
What's happening, baby?
240
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:08,344
♪ And the music of life ♪
241
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:11,836
♪ Seems to be ♪
242
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,052
♪ Like a bell ♪
243
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,154
♪ That is ringing ♪
244
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:22,124
♪ For me ♪
245
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:25,260
♪ And from the way ♪
246
00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:28,297
♪ That I feel ♪
247
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,700
♪ When the bell Starts to peal ♪
248
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,835
Nick, you all right?
249
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:35,537
Barney. Barney.
250
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:37,707
Barney.
251
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,997
Is your mother from Killarney?
252
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:45,414
Hey, uh, Barn, I
think he's stoned.
253
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,649
Stoned? What are
you talking about?
254
00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:50,720
Hey, what do you say we
guys go down to the beach
255
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,977
and shoot some clams?
256
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,064
How many of these
things have you had?
257
00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:03,821
Mushy, mushy.
258
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,769
Harris, I think there...
259
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,771
I think there's
something in these things.
260
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:09,839
Have you had any?
261
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,974
Mm-hm.
262
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:13,209
Wojo!
263
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,144
Ah, ha, he's out, Barn.
264
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,869
I mean, he and
Fish, or Fish and he.
265
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,415
You think you
can still function?
266
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:21,851
Hey, sharp as a tack.
267
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,719
All right.
268
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,654
Get these things, have
them analyzed, fast.
269
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:26,655
Nick.
270
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,646
Not that way!
271
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:35,146
I think they've got
hash in them, Barn.
272
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:37,867
Hash?
273
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:41,237
Ha, from the way that I feel.
274
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:46,075
♪ And the bell Starts to peal ♪
275
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,011
♪ It's almost ♪
276
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:52,470
♪ Like being in love ♪
277
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,991
Okay. Yeah. All right.
278
00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:04,827
How's Nick?
279
00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:05,916
I like him.
280
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,631
And you? How do you feel?
281
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:09,998
Hey, never felt better.
282
00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:12,234
I mean, not that I can remember.
283
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,136
You think Nick
can work? Oh, sure.
284
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,139
I mean, nothing too
complicated, but he can work.
285
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:18,541
Complicated?
286
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,175
Dialing the phone.
287
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:25,214
Speak of the devil.
288
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:27,850
Twelfth Precinct.
Captain Miller speaking.
289
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:30,185
Yeah?
290
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,253
Right.
291
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:32,888
Yeah, I thought so. Thank you.
292
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,257
You were right. That's the lab.
293
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,660
Laced with hashish.
294
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:40,518
And I made a pig of myself.
295
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,156
Anybody seen my legs?
296
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,872
Nick, I want you to go home.
297
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:50,939
They're about that long.
298
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:53,308
All right. All right.
299
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:54,844
Ten toes.
300
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,512
One's busted.
301
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,681
You think you're straight
enough to take him home?
302
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,215
Not to worry.
303
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:01,283
Yeah, it looks like this.
304
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:02,585
Okay, come on. Come on.
305
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:03,819
Take him home.
306
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,121
Two of you, stay home
until you feel better.
307
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:07,757
Okay, Barn, I'll stay.
308
00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:10,058
But I ain't never
gonna feel no better.
309
00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:11,927
Listen,
310
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,271
better not drive
a car. Take a bus.
311
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:20,302
Hey, Barn, if I
can't drive a car...
312
00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:24,039
I better not drive a bus.
313
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,078
You better go down the back way.
314
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:36,719
Excuse me, sir. Uh, Kogan said
you needed some help up here.
315
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,221
All right. Uh, can
you type, Levitt?
316
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:40,856
Type? Pssh.
317
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,691
I take it that means yes.
318
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,793
Yes, sir. All right.
319
00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:45,461
Can you spell cat?
320
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:46,695
Huh?
321
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,865
Cat, damn it. Can you spell cat?
322
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,669
We want guys with
experience up here.
323
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,438
Harris, take him home.
324
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:56,772
Yes, sir.
325
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,674
C-A-T. Cat.
326
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,965
Very good. Sit down.
327
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:05,981
Hey, Harris, do this.
328
00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:07,404
Yeah, okay.
329
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,053
I heard it.
330
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,277
It goes "squish, squish."
331
00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:16,625
Beautiful, man.
That's beautiful.
332
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,293
Come on.
333
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:19,628
What's the matter with them?
334
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:22,865
Uh, overwork. Fatigue. Tension.
335
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,767
Right, sir.
336
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,402
You said you could type. Type.
337
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,872
Very Chekhovian, isn't it?
338
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,306
More intense.
339
00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:36,979
Twelfth Precinct,
Acting Detective Levitt.
340
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,914
Yes, ma'am.
341
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,415
Hold on a minute, ma'am.
342
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,417
Sir? Mrs. Fish wants to know
343
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,687
should she wait dessert
for Sergeant Fish.
344
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,756
Tell her he's out on a call.
345
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,826
Tell her he's
already had dessert.
346
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:55,464
Captain Miller, please, what
are you going to do with us?
347
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:58,901
Well, considering the
absence of the arresting officers
348
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:01,904
and certain other
unforeseen circumstances,
349
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,639
heh, I'm gonna release you.
350
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,808
Oh.
351
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:07,943
All I want is your
word that from now on
352
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,547
you'll find a more innocuous
way of settling your differences.
353
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:14,016
You promise?
354
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,017
Promise.
355
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,751
Thank you. Officer Levitt.
356
00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,253
Yo. Make out a release form.
357
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:19,388
Yes, sir.
358
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,956
Step over here.
359
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,746
Glad to see you get a break.
360
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,296
What's with you guys anyway?
You know, you ain't human.
361
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,398
You're a bunch of hot
dogs, that's what you are.
362
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,066
Fish, you all right?
363
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:33,168
Never felt better.
364
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:34,303
Wojo?
365
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,805
Yeah, Barn? The guy
rifled three apartments,
366
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,641
and he tried to get away, and
me and Fish caught up to him.
367
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,210
Chased me all the
way across the roof
368
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,612
of the apartment building,
then they jumped to the bank.
369
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:48,139
Jumped. The old guy just
went bang, zoom, boom!
370
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,979
Yeah.
371
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,060
I mean, how did you do that?
372
00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:00,196
That's gotta be 12
feet across there. Huh?
373
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:03,421
What do you think,
you're playin' with kids?
374
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,858
Hey, sit down, will you?
375
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:12,074
Wojo, are you aware
that those brownies
376
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:15,466
you brought in this morning
were laced with hashish?
377
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:18,836
No kidding.
378
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,518
I don't feel a thing.
379
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,586
I know.
380
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:27,789
Are you sure, Barney?
381
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:30,159
Verified by the lab report.
382
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:34,096
First time in 20
years I felt really good,
383
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,765
and it has to be illegal.
384
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,222
Captain?
385
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,839
Uh, what's your name?
386
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,363
Fred.
387
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,045
Fred what?
388
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:06,829
Well, gentlemen,
you're free to go.
389
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:10,165
Mr. Makowski... Yes.
390
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,299
And Mr...?
391
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:12,323
Psczola.
392
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,436
Right.
393
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:15,737
Here you are. Thank you, sir.
394
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,038
And remember your promise.
395
00:18:17,062 --> 00:18:18,674
Yes, yes, yes.
396
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,610
You know, gentlemen,
when you think about it,
397
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,947
neither one of you would
have a job without the other.
398
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,749
I mean, what would a critic do
399
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,285
without actors to criticize?
400
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,654
And, uh, Mr. Makowski,
401
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:36,446
who would ever have heard
of you if it wasn't for the critics?
402
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:42,686
I think maybe each of you
owes the other an apology.
403
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,238
Mr. Psczola,
404
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:54,175
what the captain
says, it's true,
405
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:58,914
and I confess I
acted very foolishly.
406
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:02,985
I left Poland because it
was impossible to express
407
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,086
one's true feelings,
408
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:08,824
one's true commitments,
409
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:12,460
and I am deeply ashamed
for trying to prevent you
410
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:16,264
from expressing
your own true feelings
411
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:20,190
honestly and completely.
412
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:27,665
Mr. Psczola, I beg
your forgiveness.
413
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,178
You have it,
414
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:34,672
with gratitude and
respect, Mr. Makowski.
415
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:44,715
Now, that was a performance.
416
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,369
Sergeant, what are these for?
417
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,326
Crowd control.
418
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,143
Here you are, Barn.
419
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,911
Ah.
420
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:04,535
How does this look?
421
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,950
Wojo, I think maybe
you'd better go home, huh?
422
00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:10,085
What's the matter?
423
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,620
What's the matter?
424
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:15,145
Under criminal offense, you
typed "burglary" six times.
425
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,915
Just tryin' to make a point.
426
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,829
Under arresting
officer, you wrote:
427
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,421
"Wojciehowicz, chief of police."
428
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:30,105
Wojo, just get your coat
and go home. Come on.
429
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,740
Barn, I'm... I'm
sorry about Gloria.
430
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:32,741
Oh, okay, okay.
431
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,342
Barn, y-you...? You forgive us?
432
00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:36,111
We'll talk about
it another time.
433
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:40,448
Barn, to err is human,
to forgive divine.
434
00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:43,340
Wojo, will you get
your coat and go home?
435
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:47,256
Forgive me, Barn.
436
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,213
Be divine.
437
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,018
I forgive you.
438
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:57,087
Thank you.
439
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,192
Levitt.
440
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,007
Boy, you go ask the
average guy to be divine
441
00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:07,431
and see how far you get.
442
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,644
Right?
443
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:11,235
Yeah, sure.
444
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:16,351
Levitt, I want you to take
Detective Wojciehowicz home.
445
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:19,021
Well, forgive me
for sayin' so, sir,
446
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:21,890
uh, but he don't
look overworked.
447
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:23,358
He looks stoned.
448
00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:24,659
It's okay, Levitt.
449
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,628
It's... It was an accident.
Something he ate.
450
00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:28,352
Oh. Yeah, sure.
451
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,734
It's true. I mean, that's
why you're up here.
452
00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:35,270
Detective Wojciehowicz
and the others ingested
453
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:39,741
a certain amount of hashish,
gift-wrapped as brownies.
454
00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:42,444
You don't have to
explain to me, captain.
455
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,846
It's like eating poisoned food.
456
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:47,015
I ain't gonna say
nothin' to nobody.
457
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:49,518
A guy's gotta know when
to keep his mouth shut.
458
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:50,785
You can say anything you want.
459
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:53,355
Everybody's heard
about it. Not from me.
460
00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:55,023
Levitt, just take
Wojciehowicz home!
461
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,191
Yes, sir. Thank you.
462
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:57,792
You don't have to thank me, sir.
463
00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:01,263
You scratch my back,
I'll scratch your back.
464
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:03,565
One hand washes
the other, right, sir?
465
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:06,401
Wojo! Come on, let's go.
466
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:07,669
Come on.
467
00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:09,004
Hey, Barn?
468
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:10,028
Yeah?
469
00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:28,223
Fish? Yeah?
470
00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:29,224
You all right?
471
00:22:29,248 --> 00:22:30,259
Yeah. Sure?
472
00:22:30,283 --> 00:22:32,027
Yeah. Okay. Take him downstairs.
473
00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:34,496
Fingerprints and
photographs. Right away.
474
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,820
Come on, criminal person.
475
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:41,970
Hey, what a lunch
you missed, Fish baby.
476
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:43,772
What a lunch. What?
477
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:46,007
Like I told Bernice, if
you ever get tired of her,
478
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:47,442
I'll take her in a minute.
479
00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:48,877
What a hunk of woman.
480
00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:50,211
And you wanna know something?
481
00:22:50,235 --> 00:22:52,046
She still fits.
482
00:22:52,070 --> 00:22:53,382
Just a minute. Just a minute.
483
00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:55,283
That's my wife
you're talking about.
484
00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:56,317
Yeah, I know.
485
00:22:56,341 --> 00:22:58,052
My woman, you understand?
486
00:22:58,076 --> 00:22:59,821
Mine. Companion.
487
00:22:59,845 --> 00:23:02,023
Mother to my
daughter. Bed partner!
488
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,393
Take it easy. I'm not
gonna kick your behind
489
00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:06,227
this time, Slater,
490
00:23:06,251 --> 00:23:09,297
but stay away from Bernice
or you're gonna answer to me.
491
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:10,601
Now beat it!
492
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:22,065
Oh, my God. What
am I talking about?
493
00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:31,453
Morning, Fish.
494
00:23:31,477 --> 00:23:32,987
Good morning, uh, Nick.
495
00:23:33,011 --> 00:23:34,289
Good morning, everybody.
496
00:23:34,313 --> 00:23:35,357
Hey.
497
00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:36,824
What's the matter
with your foot?
498
00:23:36,848 --> 00:23:37,959
I broke a shoelace.
499
00:23:37,983 --> 00:23:39,060
Oh.
500
00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:40,428
I didn't want to
stop and fix it.
501
00:23:40,452 --> 00:23:42,952
You can't stoop over
in this neighborhood.
502
00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:47,023
Morning, Barn. Good morning.
503
00:23:48,294 --> 00:23:50,639
Look, uh, before it
gets busy around here,
504
00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:54,876
I think we ought to
clear the air a little.
505
00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:58,680
What happened yesterday
was a... It was an accident.
506
00:23:58,704 --> 00:24:00,916
It was just one of those
things that happens,
507
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,885
and you... You hope
never happens again.
508
00:24:02,909 --> 00:24:06,621
I just want everybody to know
that as far as I'm concerned,
509
00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:09,491
the incident is forgotten.
510
00:24:09,515 --> 00:24:12,149
What incident is that, Barn?
31936
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