Original subtitles

Yes, ma'am.

We're right around the corner from McDougal Alley.

You'll recognize it, uh,

by the blue-and-white cars out front.

Uh, and the expired meters.

And no tickets on the windshields.

Eh.

Uh...

You don't think Fish would mind

if I used one of his pencils, do you?

No, I don't think so.

I know... You know, I know how guys...

You working together a long time,

I know how tight you are and I'm just... I'm an outsider here,

just filling in, temporarily, while Fish is out,

so, uh...

I mean, if... Don't hesitate to tell me

if I'm stepping out of bounds or anything.

Yeah, don't worry about it, Dietrich.

Okay.

I just don't wanna step on anybody's toes.

Can anybody drink that coffee?

Yeah.

Uh, Nick, you got the Hinman file for me?

Can't find it.

It wasn't under H?

No.

How about, uh, B? Burglary?

Barney, the files are all screwed up.

Well, I thought you were gonna straighten them out for me.

I don't know where to start.

How about A?

I can't find it.

Nick, this... This is not funny.

I gotta have that file and I want those drawers

put in some semblance of a rational order.

Yes, sir.

Uh, what about you?

How about my arrest reports for last month?

I'm working on them, Barney, but I got stuck on something.

On what?

Well, this. Um...

"The suspect then turned on Officer Sloan

and attacked him with the..."

I need a word that means "savage,"

but in a premeditated way.

Use that.

Too awkward.

This is an arrest report, not a literary masterpiece. Come on!

People downtown have come to expect something more

when they see my name on a report.

Forget your reputation. Give me the report.

Okay, Barney, but I'm gonna use my pseudonym.

Good morning, Dietrich.

How's everything going?

Fine.

How about you? You feel okay?

Yeah, fine.

Because I noticed you had a little twinge over there.

Just a little heartburn.

How old a man are you, captain?

What?

Well, you know, when you get to a certain age,

you gotta be more cautious. You gotta watch...

Keep your eye on your blood pressure,

and cholesterol level and emotional irritation.

Thank you.

Listen, uh, if you get a chance,

why don't you take a look at this?

"Are You Courting a Coronary?"

That's good reading.

Thank you.

I... I studied medicine for nine months.

Really? What happened?

Nothing. I just became a cop.

Hi, Nick. Morning, Woj.

Hi, Barn.

Uh, mail in yet?

No, you expecting something?

Oh. Official business.

Where's Fish?

Oh, he's not coming in today.

What's the matter with him now?

An old ailment acting up again.

You mean the one where he can't sit down too good?

Yes, that's the one I was referring to,

and it's not a laughing matter.

Um, yeah, I... I know,

it's just hard to sympathize

with something you never had.

You're young yet.

Yeah, thanks.

Uh, Barney. BARNEY: Uh-huh.

A, uh, bus went out of control

and crashed into a building over on 12th Street.

They, uh, think it was a hijack.

Hijack? Yeah.

Wojo, go with Harris. You bet.

Man, you know, I ain't never even been on a bus in this town.

You're kidding.

Yeah. I can't afford a cab, I don't go.

You'll go broke taking cabs.

Plus, um, I stay home a lot.

Here. The Hinman Report.

Oh, thank you.

Just out of curiosity, what was it under?

Some magazines.

Good morning. What are you doing here?

I work here.

Or at least I used to.

I thought you were gonna go to the doctor and then home.

Well, I decided at a time like this

I should be among friends.

Old friends.

I didn't think you were coming in today, Fish.

Obviously. I can move my stuff.

I'll use another desk.

Why don't I move my stuff to another desk?

Listen, it's easy.

What I'll do is I'll take my stuff off your desk

and I'll go find another desk.

What, uh...? What's the verdict?

I'm gonna have that operation. Good.

You should've had it six months ago when you were supposed to.

Well, they gave me a bad room.

They put me in with a screamer.

Looks like we're gonna be bunking together.

Okay, ladies, gentleman. Step right inside, please.

You know, this is the first time I've been robbed

in a moving vehicle.

It's the same.

Uh, you want to have a seat right here, please?

What's the story?

It's a holdup all the way, Barney.

These the passengers? Uh, that's some of them.

Wojo's bringing the rest of them in another car.

The, uh, suspect jumped off the bus as soon as it crashed.

But we cordoned the block off, so...

Nobody cares nothing about protecting the buses.

I mean, you could bring a bazooka on there

as long as you pay the fare and don't spit on the floor.

Uh, Barney, this is Mr. Strand.

He was the, uh, bus driver.

What's that supposed to mean?

What?

You're looking for a fall guy, huh?

Well, look someplace else.

Mr. Strand, Detective Harris isn't accusing you of anything.

He's just identifying you to me.

Well, why single me out?

There are two other people here he could've identified.

Uh, Barney, this is Miss Lambert,

this is Mr. Quentin,

and neither of them was the bus driver.

You see? You see? Punching, punching, punching.

All right, all right, all right.

Now, look...

We got some questions... We got some questions we wanna ask you.

All of you.

So if you'll just have a seat,

we'll try and make it as painless as possible.

Mr. Quentin, will you have a seat over here, please?

Ooh. What's the matter?

Uh, just a slight throbbing from the crash.

Maybe you wanna go to the hospital.

Oh, no, no, no. I'll have it seen to later.

You want me to take a look at it?

You a doctor?

I don't... I don't like to talk about it.

Okay, Mrs. Pierce.

Why don't you have a seat right over there?

Mr. Cranston.

Look, I... I told you before, I really don't have time for this.

I got time.

But not a lot.

You got a whole room full of witnesses.

How many more do you need for God's sakes?

Oh, we try to squeeze in as many as we can, Mr. Cranston.

It helps block our view of the squalor.

Oh, did the mail come in yet?

Uh, no. You sure?

What are you waiting for?

Uh, well, I... I took the sergeant's exam again.

Hey. Results are due today.

Hey, good luck.

Detective Sergeant Wojciehowicz.

Fits.

Of course, uh, I'm not worried.

I mean, uh, it's not that important.

I mean, uh, it's not like it's, uh,

life or death or something like that.

Yeah, sure, you make it, you make it.

If you don't, you don't.

What do you mean, "If I don't"?

Forget I said it.

How can this happen in a civilized city?

What are we...? What...? What are we paying police for? Huh?

Oh, shut up, Harry, they're doing the best they can.

Hey, you two know each other?

Yes. No.

I... I... I... I met her on the bus.

Okay.

Here you go, Mrs. Pierce.

Is that okay?

Good and strong.

Just the way I like it.

I bet you like it that way too.

Uh, yeah, I do.

Uh, y-you can tell a lot about a man by the way he, uh...

He takes his coffee.

Maybe we better, uh,

just get this statement out of the way, Mrs. Pierce.

Uh, my last husband took his real strong.

And hot.

Uh...

Yeah, right.

Uh, he... Pierce.

He was a... A lumberjack.

Muscles out to here, thighs like concrete.

Uh, what's your first name, Mrs. Pierce?

God, I miss those thighs.

Just keep it down, huh?

We got a couple other things going on here.

God, how long have I been in there?

It's all one crime.

Thank you.

I heard about the operation you're going in for.

It's nothing to worry about.

It's a serious procedure,

but it's something performed successfully every day.

The biggest problem is people letting their fears

and imagination get out of hand.

I'm not worried. I got a fine doctor

and it's a very good hospital.

Of course, there are no guarantees.

Ah, sure, it was all gonna be different.

You were gonna tell your wife.

Everything was gonna be aboveboard,

no more hiding me, no more sneaking around,

no more meeting in dark bars.

Hang on, hang on. "No more hiding..."

Don't put that down.

It's her statement. Yeah, put it down.

That's him, the lousy creep!

I been with the company 12 years!

Harris, put him in the cage.

That's where you belong, the crummy punk!

Somebody kick him where it counts.

Maniac!

Hey, what's with the names?

If you dented my cigarette case...

All right!

You okay?

Uh, Barney? BARNEY: Yeah.

Here's the, uh, sack of stuff that Brenner brought in.

All right, let's see who claims what.

Okay, Barney. Nick, give him a hand.

Where are you off to?

Uh, uh, Kogen called from downstairs.

The mail's in. Oh?

There's a letter from the exam board.

Good luck.

I went to the hospital.

The room I want isn't available for a few weeks.

I can't take the day off. I'm very busy here.

I got a lot of paperwork.

Bernice, it hurts just as much to sit at the apartment

as it does here. Stop worrying about it.

Uh... Uh... Uh, no, no,

it doesn't matter what you make for dinner.

Uh, don't go to any trouble.

Jell-O is fine.

Any flavor but lime.

You said you were gonna tell her about us.

You said you were gonna be separated.

We are separated.

Twin beds is not separating.

You, uh... You wanna come over

and identify your possessions?

Oh, I wasn't robbed.

I guess he didn't have time to get to me.

You're an honest man.

There's a lot of nice stuff over there.

How's your neck?

Oh, pretty much the same.

You ought to give it time.

I'll look in on you a little later.

Did you get the results?

Huh? Uh, yeah.

Well?

Uh, s-same as usual. I failed.

You wanna come into the office? I wanna have a word with you.

Uh, I can't, Barn. I got a lot of work to do here.

I don't wanna pull rank on you.

Why not?

You got it, might as well enjoy it.

Okay, ladies, gentlemen, if you'll come over

and, uh, identify your personal property, please.

Oh, that... That... That's my wallet,

There's a picture inside. There.

Nice-looking lady.

Not bad.

Some classy group.

Eighteen people, $211.

A whole stack of transfers.

You lousy creep, where's my transfers?

All right, come on, Strand, come on, come on, ease off.

Ah, it's my own fault.

I used to stick up cabs. Nice, quiet.

That's what you find on buses.

Uh... Uh, sir, uh, I had a beaded purse

with $12 and a bottle of vitamin E.

Yes, ma'am.

So you failed one test.

If at first you don't succeed...

It's not the first, Barn. It's the fourth.

I'm going for a record.

Well, the idea is to benefit

from one's past failures.

Yeah, I... I've benefited from four failures

and I'm still staying Wojciehowicz,

Detective Third Grade.

So chalk it up to experience and grow with it.

Barn, experience helps a lot of people,

but it ain't never done nothing for me.

That is a defeatist attitude.

No, I can take it.

I mean, let, uh... Let Yemana

and Fish and Harris go out

and lead the war against crime.

I'll stay here and I'll type and I'll file

and I'll do my job.

And I'll be the best Third-Grade cop

for the rest of my natural life.

It's okay with me.

That's the way you want it?

That's the way I want it.

I'm just gonna take this letter and I'm gonna...

chuck it right into the wastebasket.

As soon as I can get my hand open.

Uh, Barney, we got problems.

What? Well, none of the victims

are gonna sign the, uh, complaints against Brenner.

Wonderful. Five minutes ago they were screaming for his blood.

They say that don't want to get any more involved.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, what's the trouble?

Well, it seems to me that we spent enough time here.

We got our stuff, you got your punk

and I have a business to run.

We're not gonna be able to do much with our punk

unless we get your statements as witnesses.

And spend a whole day in court?

Unfortunately, that's part of what we call

the American judicial system, yes.

Might be nice. I've never seen you in the morning.

I ain't taking any more time off from work.

You know how many guys are in line waiting for my job?

I don't want to get involved.

You're already involved.

From your mouth to his ear.

Aren't you the guy who was yelling that the police

for falling down on the job?

Well, it's time for you to take some responsibility!

We need your statements as witnesses.

We need your testimony in court.

You're not allowed to do that! That's badgering a witness!

Clam up, Brenner.

How about you, ma'am? How do you feel about it?

Well, I... I... I want to sign, but I'm afraid.

Afraid? Of what?

Uh... that punk's friends.

They... They remember somebody who squeals.

Yeah, they... They'll come in the middle of the night,

they'll tie me up, they'll... They'll tear at my clothing...

You're letting your imagination get the better of you.

That's all I got left, captain.

How about you, Miss Lambert? What do you think?

Well, uh, goodbye.

Oh, it was nice to meet you.

I'll take you home.

Uh, no, thanks. I wanna take a cab.

A woman in my condition should never ride another bus.

Condition? What...? What...? What...? What condition?

Who knows? Maybe I have heart trouble.

Oh, God, I hope so.

Listen, I gotta get out of here. You know how it is.

Yeah, sure, Strand, we know how it is.

I mean, they'll probably let him off anyway.

It's all a waste of time.

Yeah, thanks to you and your defeatist attitude.

Hear, hear.

If you ever get out here, I'm warning you, stay off my bus!

Wonderful to see you, weirdo.

You know, guys like that give me such a headache.

Oh, yeah?

Uh, well, I'm, uh, I'm ing now, captain.

We'll contact you if we need you.

Uh, the big one has my number.

Uh, have him call me.

I'll do that.

Soon.

Soon.

The big one.

Oh, Mr. Quentin, I forgot about you completely.

What do you say? Oh, I'd like to help you...

Good. Dietrich, bring the statement.

We'll have Mr. Quentin sign it. Oh, but I can't.

Mr. Quentin, there has been a crime committed.

We like to discourage that sort of thing

and we need your help.

Oh, well, I'm a little hazy on the facts.

You were robbed, weren't you?

No, he wasn't robbed.

But you saw other people being robbed, then.

Oh, I guess so. You hurt your back.

Uh, y-yeah...

I thought it was your neck.

W-well, it's all together.

Where did you get on that bus, Mr. Quentin?

Uh, 7th Avenue and,

uh, 26th Street, I think.

It was a cross-town bus.

Well, I... I said I was hazy on the facts.

You got on that bus after the crash, didn't you?

Why...? Why would I do a thing like that?

Insurance fraud.

How about that? Good guess?

Well, I mean,

people do it every day, don't they?

Insurance companies got plenty.

They get a break on... On taxes.

They soak us pretty good, right?

That's an opinion.

But they do it legally.

Hey, Quentin, Quentin. Come on in here with me.

There's plenty of room.

Knock it off.

Am I free to go?

Fortunately, you didn't go too far.

I... I could've signed that statement.

You never would have known.

"Conscience doth make cowards of us all."

Very well put.

Can you believe that? You know what it is?

What? Sinus trouble.

Okay, Harris, you and Dietrich

take our friend over to Manhattan South.

Tell them about the witnesses.

Tell them to swear out subpoenas.

Tell them to do whatever they want.

Okay, Barney. Nick,

Wojo,

you two go over to the hospital.

Maybe we can get some statements

from some of the other passengers.

All right.

Hey, Barn. Huh?

I like your style.

I never had it as a Third Grade.

Okay, Brenner, let's go.

Easy, easy, I got sinus trouble. Right?

I'd stake my professional reputation on it.

Twelfth Precinct. Fish.

Yes, Bernice.

I'm fine.

I was in the bathroom.

I must have dozed off.

What day is this?

"State of New York Penal Code"?

A little light reading?

Uh, yeah, well,

I'm gonna take another crack at it.

Five's the magic number.

That's three.

Who asked you?

You know how they make doughnuts?

They fry them in ho t. Cholesterol.

You know about cholesterol?

It builds up in little globules in your veins and arteries.

Clogs them up so blood can't get to your heart.

No, no, Nick, they don't tell you that on the box.

I thought it might be like cigarettes.