All language subtitles for Barney Miller - S3EP01 - Evacuation 1080p

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,548 This city's gonna be under three feet of water 2 00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:07,117 before this thing lets up. 3 00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,986 "Hurricane Dottie heads toward New England." 4 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,255 Okay, who's got duty this week? 5 00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:13,990 Uh, everybody but Dietrich. 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,759 Um, he's in court. And Wojo is going 7 00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:19,028 to Manhattan South to be public information officer 8 00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:20,530 for four days, starting tomorrow. 9 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,098 Okay. 10 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,133 How's it going, Fish? 11 00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:26,002 Terrible. 12 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,771 You know anything about these, Barney? 13 00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:30,428 Clocks or women? 14 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:35,166 Pick one and help me. 15 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,114 Send it to the jeweler. 16 00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:41,084 Okay. But what about the clock? 17 00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:42,674 Now, there you got me. 18 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,325 Boy, you guys aren't gonna believe this one. 19 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:50,927 There's 11 million people in this city, right? 20 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,730 There's nothing in here about getting them all out. 21 00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,598 Good morning, Wojo. 22 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,500 Oh. Oh, good morning, Barn. 23 00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,102 You were saying? 24 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,003 Uh... Oh, yeah. Uh, 25 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,605 I'm talking about evacuation, Barn. 26 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:06,142 There's... There's nothing in here about getting 'em out. 27 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:07,443 Well, what is that? 28 00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:10,380 It's the grey book manual. 29 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,148 I'm gonna be public information officer 30 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:13,483 for the rest of the week. 31 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,986 "Procedures in the Event of Civil Disasters." 32 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,553 Mm-hm. 33 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,990 You know something we don't know? 34 00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:21,958 Well, we're... We're gonna have a hurricane, 35 00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:24,127 and... And they're evacuating all the beach areas 36 00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,195 in Long Island. 37 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,429 Hey, it's no wonder, man. 38 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:27,797 With all that raw sewage 39 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,221 just, uh, hanging around there offshore. 40 00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:33,136 They're expecting 40-foot waves. 41 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,204 Whoo-wee. 42 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,395 Talk about high tide. 43 00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:42,845 Harris, suppose all that stuff blew into the harbor and... 44 00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,714 And, uh, got all over Manhattan. 45 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,516 Now, that would be a disaster wouldn't it? 46 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,980 Depends upon your point of view. 47 00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:52,889 Well, I hope nothing happens in this city 48 00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,357 where we gotta get the people out, 49 00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,926 because there's no way of doing it if it does. 50 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,829 Wojo, you can't evacuate a whole city 51 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,820 because a sewer backs up. 52 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,559 You take shorter breaths and quicker steps. 53 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:04,427 Hey-ey, what do you say? Phew. 54 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,529 You want to talk about a storm? 55 00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:08,498 We already talked about it. 56 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,966 So, what's happening, Callahan? 57 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:13,136 You know that Lt. Stanfield over at the 1-4? 58 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,837 No. 59 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,039 You know the wife of the late 60 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,074 watch commander over at the 3-6? 61 00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,609 No. 62 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:20,865 Oh, yeah. 63 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,147 Well, here's your APBs, 64 00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:27,250 your interdepartmental communiqués, 65 00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,484 your directives, 66 00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:31,068 and your assorted official garbage. 67 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,923 Oh, yeah. 68 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,826 You know, we could have a big problem on our hands. 69 00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,795 Hey, look, it ain't our problem. 70 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,498 I mean, if a guy's wife wants to play around on him, 71 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,189 I mean, there ain't nothing we can do about it. 72 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:46,569 Whose wife? 73 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:47,759 Which precinct? 74 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:53,342 Look, the man is talking about national emergency, 75 00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:56,312 not local, uh, slap and tickle. 76 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:58,247 What kind of emergency? 77 00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:00,183 Like a... A war. 78 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,518 What kind of war? 79 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,587 A big war. 80 00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,022 A-a nuclear war. 81 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,124 And we had to evacuate the whole city. 82 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:09,558 Okay. 83 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,894 Okay. You guys on motorcycles. You're... 84 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,662 You're trained in crowd control, right? 85 00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:14,897 Right. 86 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,934 What are you gonna do with, uh, 11 million people? 87 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,135 Eleven million? 88 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,491 Mm-hm. 89 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,739 Well, you get out there and you say, 90 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,123 "Keep moving, keep moving ." 91 00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:28,678 Hey, come on, Wojo. 92 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,714 There's not gonna be another war anyway, man. 93 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,649 I mean, it just doesn't make any sense 94 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:35,718 economically, psychologically or geographically. 95 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:38,321 Okay, uh, it doesn't have to be a war. 96 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:39,956 It... It could be an earthquake. 97 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,325 Oh, it's a pretty slim chance, man. 98 00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,059 But it's a chance. 99 00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:46,162 You know, Harris, things have a way of happening, 100 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,830 just all of a sudden, when... 101 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,533 When you least expect it. 102 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:51,801 Right, Fish? 103 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:52,857 Right. 104 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,045 Okay. What's the book say? 105 00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,047 That's it. The book don't say nothing 106 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,848 about getting people out. 107 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:08,284 It... It says to put 'em down in the subway. 108 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,587 You can't get no 11 million people in the subways. 109 00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:13,311 You can at 5:00. 110 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,994 Hello, Callahan. What do we got today? 111 00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:21,664 Oh, the usual. Usual, captain. 112 00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:25,535 You got your bulletins. Got your hot sheets. 113 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,160 So, uh... So that's the way it is, huh? 114 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:31,874 What way is that? 115 00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:34,777 Uh, I mean, we're all sitting ducks. 116 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,846 Trapped here on an island. 117 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,249 It's better than the South Bronx. 118 00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:40,416 I mean, you know, 119 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,285 like he says, probably nothing's... 120 00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:45,455 Nothing's gonna happen. 121 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,423 But suppose something does happen, you know, 122 00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:48,825 like a war. 123 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,415 Like a earthquake, like he says. 124 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,997 Yeah. or... Or a tidal wave, Barn. 125 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,500 Did you have a fight with your girlfriend, Wojo? 126 00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,269 No. I'm just trying to do my job. 127 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,738 Heh-heh, boy. 128 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,840 You think you got a future one minute, 129 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,341 next thing you know, 130 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,143 they drop one of them H-bombs on your head, 131 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,145 and that's all she wrote. 132 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,269 Damn it, I should have bought that cabin in Jersey. 133 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,383 I wouldn't worry about it, Callahan. 134 00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:15,484 If we're ground zero, 135 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,520 everything from here to Philadelphia goes. 136 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,455 Cripe, pete's... How far does a guy gotta go? 137 00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:21,246 Detroit. 138 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:23,960 Really? 139 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,528 Yeah. 140 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,697 That's why General Motors picked that place, man. 141 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,932 They can't be risking all them cars. 142 00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,001 Excuse me. 143 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,903 Twelfth precinct, Harris. 144 00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,105 Wojo. 145 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,907 Wojo, you're getting obsessed with that. 146 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,575 Now, will you put that thing away 147 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,378 and get to work on something you can do something about? 148 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,013 Okay, Barn, but... 149 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,715 I... I'd just like to know the procedures 150 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,483 in case the siren goes off. 151 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,052 What siren? We don't have a siren. 152 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,636 There's supposed to be a siren up on the roof. 153 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:55,024 All right. Suppose there is a siren up there. 154 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:56,592 And suppose it does go off. Uh-huh. 155 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,095 Then we will cooperate with the Civil Defense Department, 156 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,297 do whatever they say, because it is their ball game. 157 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,867 There is no more Civil Defense Department, Barn. 158 00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,411 The city couldn't afford to keep it going any longer. 159 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,638 All right, you... You've unearthed a problem. 160 00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:12,241 And you've reported it to your superior officer. 161 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,999 Will you let me handle it? File that. 162 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:18,514 Okay, Barn. 163 00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:19,882 Uh, Barney? 164 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,117 Yeah. 165 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:24,454 Uh, I got a call from a pawnshop over on 15th. 166 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,622 They got a young kid in there who's trying to unload 167 00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,291 some stuff that doesn't belong to him. 168 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:31,594 "Kid." Whatever happened to selling newspapers? 169 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,396 Can't hock a paper route. 170 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:38,267 Well... Uh... Fish? 171 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,611 Yeah? 172 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,805 Would you like some fresh air? 173 00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,107 I'd appreciate it. 174 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,708 Okay, go with Harris. 175 00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,310 A pawnshop on 15th Street. 176 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,478 My pleasure. 177 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,346 Are you sure? 178 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:51,648 What? 179 00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:52,749 That there ain't no way 180 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:55,184 to get out of this city if we have to? 181 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,586 No way. 182 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,088 Does anybody else know that? 183 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,190 Beats me. 184 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,129 You, uh, ready, Fish? 185 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,530 Yeah. 186 00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,666 Uh, did Barney say a... 187 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,201 A pawnshop? 188 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,592 Yeah, on 15th Street. Let's go. 189 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:26,181 Oh, no. I don't have an extra grey book, Callahan. 190 00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:28,150 I only got the one copy. 191 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:31,687 Try the 3-3. Or try Manhattan South. 192 00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:33,789 They gotta have a couple of extra copies. 193 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,614 Yeah, right. Okay. 194 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,465 Hey, uh, Barn. Um, that was Callahan. 195 00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:46,636 And, uh, ha-ha, he's over at the 2-7. 196 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,937 And, uh, he... He, uh, told them 197 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:51,240 what I said about civil disaster, 198 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,875 and they don't know what to do either. 199 00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,577 You have any bulbs? 200 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:55,945 Bulbs? Yeah, bulbs. 201 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,013 Uh... no. 202 00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,416 Call Beckman. Tell him the light in my office went out. 203 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,651 Okay. 204 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,987 Oh, Nick, we got any bulbs? 205 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,744 Nope. I've been using a flashlight. 206 00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:10,949 Okay, young lady. Step right inside here. 207 00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:15,131 How long do I have to stay here? 208 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,300 Oh, till we talk over a little business. 209 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:20,236 I didn't do nothing. How come you're picking on me? 210 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,572 Oh, you know how it is with us cops. 211 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,807 We all hate kids. 212 00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:27,510 It's my junk. Why can't I sell it? 213 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,066 My very words. 214 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,817 Okay, young lady. 215 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:37,219 Is this, uh... This your horn? 216 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,620 Yeah. 217 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:41,590 How about it? Want to play us a little tune? 218 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,714 I ain't in the mood. 219 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,563 Good afternoon, gentlemen. 220 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,587 Ladies. 221 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:53,870 I understand something's not up to par on these premises. 222 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,105 We need one of them bulbs in the bathroom. 223 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,462 Why? Did you lose something? 224 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:02,244 I'm ruining my eyes reading with this flashlight. 225 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,279 You know, they do look sort of funny. 226 00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,115 You shouldn't squint. 227 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,239 This isn't a squint. 228 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,342 This is a squint. 229 00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:16,459 Oh, yeah. 230 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:18,427 Hi, captain. 231 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,528 Hello, Beckman. 232 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,130 I'll fix your bathroom immediately. 233 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:22,665 Okay. How's your office? 234 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,267 Oh. Change the bulb in there, will ya? 235 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,802 Twenty-five watts is for bats. 236 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:29,204 All right, sit down over there. 237 00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,907 Is this the, uh, pawnshop caper? 238 00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,676 Yeah. Says her name is Jilly. 239 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,678 "Jilly." Is that short for Jillian? 240 00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,535 Nah. It's instead of Shirley. 241 00:10:39,338 --> 00:10:40,516 Shirley what? 242 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,918 Pappalardo. And I didn't steal that stuff. 243 00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:46,122 Silverware, transistor radio. 244 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,923 It's mine. 245 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:50,193 And, uh, the ring too? 246 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,660 Yeah. 247 00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,351 "Knights of Columbus." 248 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,056 I got it for Columbus Day. 249 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,727 And I suppose these are your baby teeth? 250 00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:06,275 Yeah. They all fell out at once. 251 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,466 Dental humor. 252 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,716 Ever been arrested before, Jilly? 253 00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:14,980 I'm not sure. 254 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,387 All right, sit down over there. 255 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:22,324 Harris, I'm afraid we've got a woman with a past. 256 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,682 I'll, uh, check her out, Barney. 257 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,766 Where do you live, kid? 258 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,935 Manhattan. 259 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:35,526 Oh, you're gonna make it tough, huh? 260 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,375 My grandfather was a cop. 261 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,439 Who asked you? 262 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,873 You sure you want a light on in there? 263 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,787 Uh... I don't mind. 264 00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:53,155 It's your life. 265 00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:56,025 Listen, uh, Beckman. We got a siren up on the roof? 266 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,194 Yeah. But it don't work. 267 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,862 Why not? It's supposed to. 268 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,130 What are you worried about? 269 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,599 The minute we have another war, I'll fix it. 270 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:04,933 Hey. Hey, you listen. 271 00:12:04,957 --> 00:12:06,435 That... That siren is supposed to be 272 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,736 kept in good working order. 273 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,805 It... It's supposed to be checked once in a while. 274 00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,189 Okay, okay. Don't shoot. 275 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,146 Captain. 276 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,814 Hello, Creavey. What can we do for you? 277 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,516 We got 65 men on the first watch. 278 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,318 How many you want to keep for double shift? 279 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,953 What double shift? 280 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,923 Well, we heard some kind of news about some kind of disaster. 281 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,946 Guys figured they'd pick up a little overtime. 282 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,695 Uh, haven't heard a thing, Creavey. 283 00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:33,951 No disaster? 284 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,899 Sorry. 285 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,300 No, that's okay. It's all right. 286 00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:39,868 Listen, you'll be the first to know. 287 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:42,004 Yeah, sure. Uh... 288 00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:44,707 we'll be just right downstairs. 289 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:45,908 Oh, captain. 290 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,577 Do we have anything called a "grey book?" 291 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,835 See Wojciehowicz. 292 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:56,018 Where's your father? 293 00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:57,620 Elmira. 294 00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,655 That's a prison. 295 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,290 No kidding. 296 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,925 Where's your mother? 297 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:05,494 California. 298 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,663 I thought you said you live with your parents. 299 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,465 I do. 300 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,501 Earl and Velma and Fred. 301 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:13,136 They got five other kids. 302 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,492 We're a group home. 303 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,262 Ooh, that's disgusting. 304 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,678 It's a city project, Fish. 305 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,814 Social Services Department. 306 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,116 Uh, Barney, I checked with Children's Center. 307 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,784 She does have priors. 308 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:29,852 On probation, huh? 309 00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,220 Yeah, she's a ward of the court. 310 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,877 She lives in what they call a group home. 311 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:35,680 Fish. 312 00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:39,795 Her parents dead? 313 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,464 Father is in Elmira. 314 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,898 Yeah, five-to-life. 315 00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,600 The last time her mother was heard from, 316 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,001 she was living in San Diego, 317 00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:48,185 going steady with an aircraft carrier. 318 00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,407 Who runs that home? 319 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,075 Ah, house parents. You know. 320 00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:55,344 The city pays adults to live in with the kids. 321 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,168 Some people do anything for money. 322 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,415 Ahem. 323 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,484 Ah, see if you can get anybody on the phone. 324 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,985 Tried, Barn. There's no answer. 325 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,553 All right, keep trying. All right. 326 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,722 Fish, you take the kid and, uh, check the place out. 327 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,290 Yeah. Okay, kid. 328 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:10,993 You're going to take a ride. 329 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,461 Where are we going? 330 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,562 To your house. 331 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,398 What for? You're not gonna like it. 332 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:16,532 Don't worry about it. 333 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,167 I don't like much anyway. 334 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,902 All right. 335 00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:21,070 Hi. Hi. 336 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,894 Oh. Cute kid. What do I care? 337 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:29,144 Barney, can I talk to you in your office? 338 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:30,178 What's up? 339 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,014 I'm not sure yet, Barney. 340 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,482 What do you hear? 341 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,150 Rumors. 342 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,507 Biggies. 343 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:42,891 What's up, inspector? 344 00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:46,328 Barney, uh, you got any plans for evacuating the area? 345 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:47,329 You mean the building? 346 00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:49,131 I mean the whole precinct. 347 00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:51,133 Whole precinct? That's two square miles. Sh. 348 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,068 Keep it down, Barney, will you? 349 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:54,436 What's happening? 350 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,104 Oh, I can't tell you that, Barney. 351 00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:57,172 How come? 352 00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:59,508 Well, the truth is I don't know myself, 353 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,343 you see, but the thing is that 354 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,978 we're afraid of starting any panic. 355 00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:04,313 Panic? Yeah. Yeah. 356 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,714 You know how rumors are, Barney. 357 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,816 You know, somebody says something in the street. 358 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,618 The first thing it goes from word to mouth. 359 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,820 Whole city's running around, you know, screaming: 360 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:13,555 "Hey, the world's coming to an..." 361 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,646 Hey, who is that up there on that ladder? 362 00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:18,794 Mr. Beckman, the custodian. 363 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,396 Deputy Inspector Luger. 364 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,797 Oh, it's a pleasure, sir. 365 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,165 Likewise, I'm sure. 366 00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,034 Oh, Beckman. Yes, sir. 367 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:28,270 Anything you heard in here about evacuation or panic, 368 00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,939 you keep it under your hat. 369 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,840 Do you understand? Oh, absolutely. 370 00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,243 I've been associated with the police force for 20 years. 371 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,811 In one ear, and I forget everything. 372 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,012 That's good. 373 00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:38,113 You're all set, captain. 374 00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,137 All right. 375 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:43,986 Beckman. 376 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,954 What's going on in there? Nothing. Nothing. 377 00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:48,256 Beckman, you were in there. What are they were saying? 378 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,257 I don't know nothing... 379 00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:50,715 but I'm gonna fix the siren anyway. 380 00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,797 Hey, Harris. Was that Inspector Luger 381 00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:55,798 that just came up here? 382 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,365 Yeah, he's inside with the captain. 383 00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:59,468 Ah, big trouble, huh? 384 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,903 I don't know. He didn't say. 385 00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:03,072 Well, you know, the guys were just trying to pick up 386 00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,662 a little overtime. 387 00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:07,475 Well, you know, you never know. 388 00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:09,377 I mean, with a little luck, the whole society 389 00:16:09,401 --> 00:16:10,968 could just come apart at the seams. 390 00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:13,637 Hope so. 391 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:17,786 Now, look. Now, you say 392 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,788 there's no way to get these people here 393 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:20,922 out of New York, huh? 394 00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,091 Nope. No way. 395 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,193 Other than normal civil defense procedures. 396 00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:25,861 Mm. Every man for himself, huh? 397 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:26,885 More of less, yeah. 398 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,065 Uh, what about Jersey? 399 00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:33,402 Inspector, all we've got so far are a few rumors. 400 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:36,238 Ah, that's what I thought at first too. 401 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,906 Until I heard some of them politicians 402 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:41,910 talking down at city hall about protecting themselves. 403 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:45,547 Oh, yeah. You gotta be able to read the signs, Barney. 404 00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:46,548 That's true. 405 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,649 Sure. 406 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,584 Well, you know, down in West Virginia, 407 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:52,054 they're scooping out a whole mountain 408 00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:54,089 for the president and his bunch. 409 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,524 Did you know that, Barney? 410 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,960 In the case of emergency, you have to have some provision 411 00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,428 for the seat of government. 412 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:02,564 That's why the most important thing for us right now 413 00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:03,665 is to figure out some place 414 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,901 where us cops will be safe, you know? 415 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:10,005 Then once we get there, we can let some other people in. 416 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,507 I mean, if they get there in time, 417 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,130 or if there's room for 'em. 418 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,214 You really believe there ain't gonna be a third big war? 419 00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:20,582 Hey, you kidding? 420 00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:23,407 I mean, the Russians aren't gonna blow the Olympics, man. 421 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:26,721 Oh, uh, by the way, Barney, uh, 422 00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:29,058 you got an extra copy of that, uh, grey book? 423 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,793 No, I'm sorry, we don't. 424 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,461 Well, I can pick one up someplace. 425 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:33,662 Sure. 426 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,019 What is it? Just a little grey book, eh? 427 00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:39,068 Um, yeah. Pretty much. 428 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,736 It say anything on the front? Uh... 429 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,671 Here's ours, inspector. Hm? 430 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,441 Oh, sure it is. Thanks, Wojo. 431 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:48,444 "Procedures in the Event of Civil Disasters." 432 00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,713 Barney, what was I telling you? 433 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,048 Uh, that's just was saying to Callahan a few hours ago. 434 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,049 Callahan? Yeah. 435 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,785 The big-mouth motorcycle cop? Well, I... 436 00:17:56,809 --> 00:18:00,355 Huh? What, was he in here shooting off his face again? 437 00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:02,825 Huh? About me and the cashier in that restaurant 438 00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:04,660 over at Bensonhurst? No, no. 439 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:07,530 Yeah, well, I want you to know she's a very nice woman. 440 00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:10,065 She's practically separated from her husband too. 441 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,333 The bigmouth. 442 00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,201 That's how all those rumors start, Barney. 443 00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,203 Absolutely. 444 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,404 Thanks, Wojo. 445 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,206 Can I use the phone in your office, Barney? 446 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,470 Be my guest. 447 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,013 All I was trying to do was get enough money 448 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,382 to keep in school for a few days. 449 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,384 This stuff don't mean nothing to Fred anymore. 450 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,808 Why didn't you tell me he was dead? 451 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,276 It slipped my mind. 452 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,023 Who's dead? 453 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,313 Fred. 454 00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:40,996 House parent number three. 455 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,460 He's upstairs packed in ice cubes. 456 00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:46,968 We were just trying to keep him cold 457 00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,459 till Earl and Velma get back. 458 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,708 House parents number one and two are out of town. 459 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,343 I called Juvenile and sent the other kids 460 00:18:55,367 --> 00:18:56,712 back to the Children's Center. 461 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:57,879 You didn't have to do that. 462 00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,481 We could have took care of ourselves. 463 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:01,350 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 464 00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:02,951 What killed Fred? 465 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,320 Coroner says natural causes. 466 00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:08,278 You know, aggravation. Sit down! 467 00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:13,862 I'm not going back to Children's Center. 468 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:14,963 Take it easy. 469 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,231 I hate it! I don't want to live 470 00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:18,789 where you get pushed around and the food stinks. 471 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:22,526 If I can take it, you can take it. 472 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,313 What the hell is that? 473 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,882 Uh, I guess Beckman fixed the siren. 474 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,218 Wonderful. Just what we need at a time like this. 475 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:37,653 There, I fixed it! 476 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,154 Now I can't turn it off! 477 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,856 Only wanted to know if we had one. 478 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,558 All right, all right. Go find the master switch and kill it, 479 00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:45,194 so we don't panic the whole precinct. 480 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,928 I hope you're satisfied! 481 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,930 Hey. Just rules and regulations. 482 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,499 Let's get on the phone to Dispatch. 483 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,201 Uh, uh, have 'em send some patrol cars 484 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:54,002 around the neighborhood with bullhorns, 485 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,871 telling everybody it's just a false alarm. 486 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:56,895 I hope you're right. 487 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,341 Creavey, there's no work! The city has nobody. 488 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,810 Will you get outta here? 489 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,078 Inspector. Yeah? 490 00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:04,146 It's the commissioner. 491 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,248 It's for you. 492 00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,250 Barney, it's Manhattan South. 493 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,385 They say our siren isn't supposed to be on. 494 00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,520 Tell 'em "No kidding." 495 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,710 No kidding. 496 00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:16,225 Hello, hello. This is, uh, Captain Miller here. 497 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:19,127 Yeah, what? Yes, I'm fully aware of that. 498 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,662 It was, uh, unintentional. 499 00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:23,232 W-why has the siren gone on, Barney? 500 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,566 Unintentional. 501 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,668 It was unintentional, commissioner. 502 00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:30,172 Uh, look at it as a... A... An unscheduled test. 503 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:33,375 All right, relax, relax. Take it easy. 504 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,245 Well, you know, there are 11 million people in this city. 505 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:37,946 And i-if something did go wrong, 506 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,714 there is no way of getting them out. 507 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:40,983 Are you aware of that? 508 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:45,376 Well, we have heard rumors, sir. Huh? Well, biggies. 509 00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:47,889 Yeah. Unfounded? 510 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,592 Uh, they're all unfounded. Uh, thank you, sir. 511 00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:53,162 Well, look it up in your grey book. 512 00:20:53,186 --> 00:20:54,463 Grey book! 513 00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:58,266 Panic? In the... In the city? 514 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,168 Oh, at city hall. 515 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:03,605 Oh, they all left, huh? Where'd they go? 516 00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:05,840 Well, you think you can get 'em back, commissioner? 517 00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:08,210 Oh, I-I certainly hope so too. 518 00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,711 Yes, sir. Goodbye. 519 00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:10,946 Heh-heh. 520 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:13,982 Well, get one and read it and learn something! 521 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:15,217 Barney, take it easy. 522 00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:16,785 It... It was all talk, Barney. 523 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:18,253 It was all just loose talk. 524 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:21,423 Sure, this time. But someday! 525 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,892 Harris? 526 00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,528 No, sir. Look, don't pay any attention to it. 527 00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:28,297 Now, look, it was a false alarm. Right. 528 00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:30,132 Believe me, there's no trouble. 529 00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:31,433 It is a mistake. 530 00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:32,634 The siren went on... 531 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,248 Yes, ma'am. 532 00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:39,107 Well, I'll see you around, men. 533 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:42,110 No. No emergency. Yes, ma'am. 534 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,345 Twelfth precinct, Captain Miller speaking. 535 00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:46,682 Oh, and listen, Barney... H-hold on, please. 536 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,450 Now, what I said about me and that cashier 537 00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:50,852 over in Bensonhurst, you know, there's nothing to that. 538 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:52,087 Oh. 539 00:21:52,111 --> 00:21:54,756 It was unfounded, Barney. All unfounded. Sure. 540 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,157 Keep it under your hat, will you? 541 00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:57,726 I mean, don't say anything about it. 542 00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:00,228 No problem. Right. Good. Fine. Thanks. 543 00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:01,385 I'll see you around, boys. 544 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,867 Uh, 12th precinct, Captain Miller speaking. 545 00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:07,035 I wouldn't lie to you. 546 00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:09,471 Don't worry about it. It's a mistake. 547 00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:13,809 All right, let's go. 548 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,176 To Children's Center? 549 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,311 Yep. 550 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,575 You mean, you're just gonna dump me? 551 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:21,858 What do you want me to do? Adopt you? 552 00:22:25,311 --> 00:22:27,551 Come on, come on. Let's go. 553 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:31,160 You know, there are some women 554 00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:34,218 men can never get out of their system. 555 00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:38,555 Maybe someday they'll find a laxative. 556 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,011 I'm not gonna take you anywhere on Saturday. 557 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:53,382 I'm gonna stay home and watch the ball game. 558 00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:56,318 Because I had a tough week, and I had a crazy woman 559 00:22:56,342 --> 00:22:58,387 on my hands yesterday. 560 00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:01,545 Twelfth precinct, Harris. 561 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:05,527 Uh, sure, yes. H-hang on a minute. 562 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:06,595 Uh, Fish. Yes? 563 00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,263 Line two. It's Bernice. 564 00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:09,553 Hang on, Jilly. 565 00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:11,989 Hello, Bernice. 566 00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:14,236 Yeah? 567 00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:15,738 No, I don't want to go. 568 00:23:15,762 --> 00:23:18,340 I'm gonna stay in bed. 569 00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:21,210 Because I had a tough week, and I had a crazy woman 570 00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:22,432 on my hands yesterday. 571 00:23:28,007 --> 00:23:29,151 Light's on in there, Nick. 572 00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,674 I know. I'm gonna turn it off. 573 00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:38,093 Barn, did you hear about the earthquake 574 00:23:38,117 --> 00:23:40,762 and tidal wave in the Philippines? 575 00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:43,067 Yeah. Terrible. Terrible. 576 00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:47,903 Says here the, uh, Chinese got the atom bomb. 577 00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:49,571 Wojo... 578 00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:50,973 Wojo, you're gonna have to learn 579 00:23:50,997 --> 00:23:53,008 to live with one irrevocable fact. 580 00:23:53,032 --> 00:23:54,943 And that is that if anything happens, 581 00:23:54,967 --> 00:23:57,712 there is no way to get 11 million people 582 00:23:57,736 --> 00:24:00,096 out of this city in a hurry. 583 00:24:00,406 --> 00:24:01,671 Then what are we gonna do? 584 00:24:03,575 --> 00:24:05,053 We just have to hope that mankind 585 00:24:05,077 --> 00:24:06,221 never gets to that point 586 00:24:06,245 --> 00:24:08,556 in their relationships where they'll allow 587 00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:10,158 something like to happen. 588 00:24:10,182 --> 00:24:13,295 And we have to do everything we can to prevent it. 589 00:24:13,319 --> 00:24:15,898 Okay. 590 00:24:15,922 --> 00:24:16,965 What do we do? 591 00:24:16,989 --> 00:24:18,934 Wojo, you're making me crazy. 38681

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